MFM Minisodes 437

Summary

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark Episode Summary: MFM Minisodes 437 Release Date: May 26, 2025

My Favorite Murder Minisode 437 offers a captivating blend of true crime narratives shared by listeners, interwoven with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark's signature humor and insightful commentary. This summary delves into the key stories presented in the episode, highlighting significant discussions, poignant moments, and memorable quotes, all while providing a seamless overview for those who haven’t listened to the episode.

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1. Baby at the Gas Station and the Unexpected Homicide

Story Overview: The episode opens with a listener-submitted story titled "A Baby, a Gas Station, and How I Ended Up in the Middle of a Hometown Homicide." Jillian recounts a harrowing experience from her twenties when she worked at a gas station and unknowingly became part of a murder investigation.

Key Points:

• The Incident: Jillian describes a night when a young mother left her baby in her care at the gas station while she fetched diapers. Shortly after, the mother was involved in a fatal altercation with her partner.
• Unexpected Involvement: Unbeknownst to Jillian, she became a person of interest in the ensuing murder investigation because of her role as the temporary babysitter.
• Murder Investigation: Richard Grissom, a maintenance worker from the apartment complex, was eventually convicted of the murders without any bodies being found, marking a significant case in Kansas history.
• Emotional Impact: Jillian reflects on the emotional turmoil of discovering her inadvertent connection to the case and the lasting effects it had on her life.

Notable Quotes:

• Jillian: “It’s got babysitting, betrayal, and bloodshed.” [02:49]
• Karen: “You don’t have to have a license to have a child.” [05:26]
• Georgia: “Red flags don’t always wave. Sometimes they hand you a baby.” [05:13]

Discussion Highlights: Karen and Georgia express their shock and empathy towards Jillian’s experience. They discuss the unpredictability of life’s events and the importance of being vigilant about red flags, even in seemingly mundane situations.

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2. Birthday Party at a Mormon Prophet's House

Story Overview: Georgia shares a personal ghost story from her teenage years titled "Birthday Party at a Mormon Prophet's House." The narrative unfolds during her time working as a birthday hostess at the historic Lion House in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Key Points:

• Historic Setting: The Lion House, once home to Brigham Young and his numerous wives, serves as the venue for children’s birthday parties, complete with themed activities like Taffy pulling and the game "Button, Button. Who’s Got the Button?"
• Creepy Encounter: Georgia narrates a terrifying experience when, after turning off all the lights to close up, she hears footsteps and believes she’s being haunted by Brigham Young’s ghost.
• Revelation: The fear subsides when a security guard enters the dark house to check on her, revealing that her anxiety was a result of the pitch-black environment rather than any supernatural presence.

Notable Quotes:

• Georgia: “I was positive the ghost of Brother Brigham was coming to drag me to Mormon hell.” [16:41]
• Karen: “Security guard, she’s crying.” [17:51]
• Georgia: “Stay sexy and don’t pee in your pioneer pinafore. When a prophet ghost stalks you.” [18:07]

Discussion Highlights: Karen and Georgia humorously dissect Georgia’s fear, highlighting the relatable anxiety many feel in dark, unfamiliar settings. They emphasize the importance of rational thinking during moments of panic and commend Georgia for her bravery in confronting the situation.

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3. Accidental Snail Ingestion Leading to Anaphylaxis

Story Overview: Kristen B. shares a stunning tale entitled "Snails Don’t Get Murdered," detailing her unexpected allergic reaction after consuming escargot during a dinner outing.

Key Points:

• The Dinner: Kristen and her family dined at a local restaurant in Norfolk, Virginia, where she ordered escargot, savoring every bit of the garlic butter-infused delicacy.
• Emergency Reaction: Shortly after returning home, Kristen experienced severe throat itching and tightness, soon escalating to an anaphylactic shock.
• Medical Intervention: Her husband swiftly administered Benadryl and moved her to the cold porch, effectively managing the allergic reaction until she stabilized.
• Diagnosis: Medical tests revealed that Kristen had a severe allergy to snails, a revelation that prompted her to carry an EpiPen and avoid snails entirely.

Notable Quotes:

• Kristen: “How do you accidentally eat a snail though?” [26:53]
• Karen: “No, my God. Then her skin starts choking out here.” [27:12]
• Kristen: “Stay sexy and leave the snails to the French.” [27:17]

Discussion Highlights: Karen and Georgia express relief that Kristen is safe, while also empathizing with the fear she must have felt during the incident. They discuss the unpredictability of allergies and the importance of quick medical responses. The conversation humorously touches on the challenges Kristen faces in social dining scenarios post-reaction.

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4. Safe Harbor Success Story

Story Overview: A listener shares a heartfelt success story centered around adoption through Safe Harbor Prison Dogs, highlighting the emotional bond formed with a dog named Brusky.

Key Points:

• Adoption Journey: The listener highlights how adopting Brusky from Safe Harbor provided meaningful rehabilitation for prisoners and a loving home for the dog.
• Pandemic Support: During the COVID-19 pandemic, daily walks with Brusky became a source of normalcy and comfort amidst societal chaos.
• Brusky’s Passing: Sadly, Brusky passed away in 2024 due to an inoperable tumor, but his memory remains cherished through his impact on the family.

Notable Quotes:

• Listener: “Stay sexy and always adopt. Even if the founder orchestrated a prison escape.” [30:13]
• Karen: “Look at that baby. Good boy.” [30:14]
• Georgia: “We need those.” [30:47]

Discussion Highlights: Karen and Georgia reflect on the profound connection between humans and their pets. They emphasize the therapeutic benefits of adopting animals and the mutual healing that occurs through such bonds. The hosts also honor Brusky’s legacy, celebrating the positive impact he had on the listener’s life.

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Episodes' Themes and Insights

Throughout Minisode 437, Karen and Georgia navigate through a spectrum of emotions—from the shock of unexpected murder involvement and the terror of a ghostly encounter to the life-threatening experience of anaphylaxis and the deep love for a beloved pet. Their ability to intertwine humor with genuine empathy enhances the storytelling, making each narrative both engaging and relatable.

Recurring Themes:

• Unexpected Connections: Many stories involve inadvertent entanglements in larger, often tragic events.
• Personal Resilience: The featured listeners demonstrate strength and adaptability in the face of unforeseen challenges.
• Community and Support: The hosts consistently highlight the importance of support systems, whether through family, friends, or the podcast community itself.

Key Takeaways:

• Vigilance and Awareness: Whether it's recognizing red flags in personal situations or being aware of potential allergens, staying informed and cautious can prevent or mitigate crises.
• The Human-Animal Bond: Pets play a crucial role in providing emotional support and stability, especially during turbulent times.
• Humor as Coping Mechanism: Karen and Georgia’s humorous take on dark subjects underscores the therapeutic power of laughter in dealing with adversity.

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Conclusion

MFM Minisodes 437 exemplifies My Favorite Murder's dedication to blending true crime with personal storytelling and humor. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark skillfully guide listeners through each narrative, offering both entertainment and poignant insights. This episode reinforces the podcast’s commitment to creating a community where listeners can share their darkest and most vulnerable moments, knowing they are met with understanding and camaraderie.

For those seeking engaging true crime stories punctuated with laughter and heartfelt discussions, this episode stands as a testament to why My Favorite Murder continues to resonate with audiences worldwide.

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Notable Resources Mentioned:

• Safe Harbor Prison Dogs: An organization focused on the rehabilitation of prisoners through dog training and adoption.
• Pioneer Pinafore: Traditional attire worn by hosts during themed events at the Lion House.

Further Engagement: Listeners are encouraged to submit their stories via My Favorite Murder Email and follow the show on Instagram and Exactly Right’s YouTube Page.

Stay tuned for more spine-chilling tales and engaging conversations in upcoming episodes of My Favorite Murder.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

That's audible.com murder or text MURDER to 500. Five hundred.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

Hello and welcome to my favorite murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is the Minisode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We read you your stories.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You've sent us emails. We're going to read them out loud.

[Georgia Hardstark]

We got them all.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We got every single email. 19 billion sold and counting. Just steal McDonald's email rates. Do you want to go first?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sure. Let me see. That always means I'm going last and so I want to have a strong last.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You know what I mean?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who has the best last?

[Georgia Hardstark]

My last one's about snails. So let's do it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What? You have a good last. I saw that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Mine's about slugs. So let's just see. Let's just see.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay. This is called a baby, a gas station, and a how I ended up in the middle of a hometown homicide.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, shit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Hey, Karen and Georgia, longtime fan of the show, thank you both for making true crime feel like a hilarious therapy session with your equally morbid best friends. I finally decided to send in my story and let. And let's just say it's got babysitting, betrayal, and bloodshed. When I was in my 20s, I was working at a gas station in a busy part of the city. I had a handful of regulars that I saw almost every day, and one of them was a sweet young couple who had just had a baby. They were friendly, a little frazzled. New parents, after all, but always kind. One night, the young new mom came in alone with the baby and asked if I could watch him for a few minutes while she ran home to grab diapers. She forgot the gas station clerk.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry. So you're gonna stop off at the gas station, not bring your baby all the way home with you, right?

[Georgia Hardstark]

But also, like, gas stations usually have diapers in the gas station, too, right? I didn't even think about that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

There's all kinds of things at the gas station, but not childcare.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No, lots of red flags here. She said she lived just down the street and would be faster solo. So I said sure, because nothing says qualified babysitter like a minimum wage and a name tag. She came back a little while later, asked to use the phone, made a phone call, and not long after, someone picked her and the baby up. Seemed like a weird blip in my shift, but no big deal until the next day when I was brought in for questioning in a murder investigation. Turns out when she went back home after leaving her baby girl with me at the gas station, they had gotten into an argument that escalated quickly when she found out he had taken a gay lover. She ended up stabbing him to death while I was unknowingly watching her baby like some clueless accomplice with a Slurpee machine in the background.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'll ask my questions after.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I mean, I might not have the answers.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Was it premeditated? Was that the plan?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Like, this is my alibis.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Why would you leave your baby with the gas station clerk? No offense.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She turned herself in the morning after the murder, which is why the detectives were questioning me about her behavior, which, for the record, was eerily calm. She later pleaded guilty to third degree murder and was sentenced to 16 years. Needless to say, I was completely shocked. It was one of the wildest moments of my life. And now I get to say I was unknowingly part of a murder timeline. Stay sexy and remember, red flags don't always wave. Sometimes they hand you a baby. Leslie. She. Her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Leslie. Nice one.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Nice button there. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And sorry you had to take the friendly fire from me, but it scares me so much, that idea where it's like people and it's been said a thousand times. So it's like, you don't have to have a license to have a child.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What parent in the world is like, you know, I'm just go ahead and hold this baby first.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I've come in here a lot of days before and for multiple minutes at a time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's the lady with the baby at the gas station.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, this has got to be cool.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, well, kind of related. The subject line of this email is a personal Latchkey kid. I survived. Hi friends. In the early summer of 1989. I was 7 years old and lived in Lenexa, Kansas, a suburb of Kansas City notorious for absolutely nothing. I lived with my mom and her best friend, both of whom were pretty young and outgoing. And in parentheses it says foreshadowing. Etc. My parents were very recently divorced and my older sister was in her first or second round of rehab. All around fun times for all. So I was left home alone every day in our shitty apartment complex to take care of myself. Moment of silence for the latchkey kids and the trauma they endured unknowingly by themselves. Never really processed until they wrote their book with their podcast partner called Stay.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Sexy, Don't Get Murdered.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Amen and amen. And then my father said, how were you a latchkey kid? They just live in Chicago.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Wait, what? Like, oh, they just like, latchkey kids only live in Chicago.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They only live in Chicago.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I thought you were gonna say you weren't a latchkey kid. We didn't lock the door.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh yeah, that is literally true. So it says. One morning I was eating government cereal and watching Three's Company and watching Three's Company. This is. This is everyone's life when I heard a knock on the door. My mom had told me repeatedly that if someone were to come to the door to pretend I was not there and not to answer it, all caps, no matter what. I figured whoever it was would leave, so I just kept watching the show and ignored it. Except the knocking didn't stop. It got louder and more insistent and my 7 year old brain registered that something was very wrong. As the knocking increased and the doorknob started to rattle. I remember thinking that I should leave the TV on and not turn down the volume, otherwise they would know I was inside. Smart. I set my cereal bowl down and silently tiptoed towards the front door, shaking. It's at this moment that the knocking escalated to banging and a man started yelling, open the fucking door. I know you're in there. I can hear you.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it just says, holy fucking shit. I know. I had a little stool next to the door, so I stepped up on it and pressed my eye to the peephole and immediately saw an eyeball staring back at me. No. Mm. I jumped down. Noped the fuck right out of there to my bedroom in the back and called my mom at work. Seven years old.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Jesus Christ. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

When I told her what was going on, she told me she was on her way and to hang up and call 91 1. The whole time the man is still banging on my door, shaking it and rattling the handle, screaming expletives at me. The dispatcher that answered calmly told me to lock my bedroom door, to stay on the phone and that the police were on the way. In about five to 10 minutes, the police arrived. The dispatcher said they had the man and it was okay to unlock the door.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

When I did, I saw a man sporting a heinous mullet surrounded by officers at the foot of the stairs. The cops came in and waited with me for my mom to get there. They said the guy claimed he was there to paint the apartment and he just, quote, had the wrong unit number.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Uh huh.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I immediately told the police that the man was lying because the unit numbers were very large and located just above the peephole that he had been looking at me through. Fuck. Seven.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

My mom arrived minutes afterwards and filed a complaint with the complex. I got to go to work with her the rest of the week and we forgot all about it. About three weeks later, on the morning of June 27, all over the news was the report of two missing female roommates, Brunette and in their mid-20s, that had disappeared from their apartment in the complex across the street.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Christine Rush and Theresa Brown's apartment looked as though they had come home for the evening, started getting ready for bed, and were surprised by someone already hiding in their home.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The last anyone heard of either women were two phone calls made by Brown to their respective employers on the morning of the 26th. Calling in sick for the day. No one ever spoke to either woman again.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

In the weeks and months that followed through fingerprint analysis, bank statements, and general stupidity on his part. Richard Grissom, the maintenance worker at the apartment complex we lived in, was the first man in Kansas history to be tried and convicted of murder without any bodies.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He has never admitted to his guilt, nor to the families where the women's remains are. The only thing he will say to this day is, you'll dig them up.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it says, what a fucking piece of human trash.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I will never forget the day they first identified him as the main suspect. I was sitting on the crunchy brown carpet of our apartment. And I saw that ass clown's face pop up on the tv. And then in quotes, it says, that's the man, Mom. That's the guy that was pounding on the door. My mom went white, changed the channel, and we never talked about it again. Years later, I saw the forensic files on this case. And I had a realization. That man was not trying to get me. My mom and her roommate looked eerily similar to his victims. Both sets of women were beautiful, young, outgoing brunettes who lived together. So that's my story. Richard Grissom is rotting away forever with no chance of parole. And I am alive and well. Thank you for being the voices in my ear for years. And a happy distraction during this shitstorm. Yours in murder and anxiety. Jillian.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God. Jillian. Like, yes, he was going after these women. But if he had opened the door and you had been there, like, you were just in the way. That's just. He would have done whatever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And just that, like, moment of, like, quietly putting down her cereal bowl and tiptoeing to the door.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Definitely done that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Like those weird moments of, like, well, I guess I'm gonna make this call. Cause it's just me to figure this plan out.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Because I'm seven and I'm alone.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Jillian.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, Jillian.

[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

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[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A little long.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We've never gotten one of these before.

[Georgia Hardstark]

No? Hi ladies. Fun little ghosty story for you. I worked as a birthday hostess at the historic Lion House in Salt Lake City, Utah all through high school. That's right. I dressed as a Mormon pioneer and threw children's birthday parties in an old pioneer house, complete with Taffy pulling, a boring ass tour of the house and a rousing game of Button, Button. Who's got the button?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who's gotten the button?

[Georgia Hardstark]

You know it?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Of course. I've never heard of it in my life. It's such a 70s Montessori. It's just basically like someone's holding a button and you have to guess who's got it in their hand.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. And it says and hide the thimble. Oh, let's say the game button button and hide the thimble. The birthday kid is also gifted a scary porcelain doll. No, I'm not making this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh shit.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Button, button. Who's got the button?

[Karen Kilgariff]

All the games are sewing based because they actually want those women over at the sewing table making some clothes.

[Georgia Hardstark]

A little history about the house before I tell you about the scariest 10 minutes of my life. The Lion House is located in the heart of Salt Lake City and is the historic home of the former Mormon prophet Brigham Young.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Brigham Young.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Brigham. Feel free to google him. He was a real piece of shit. Anyway, at one point the house was home to about a dozen of his wives and 30 plus children. Most of the rooms are now used for wedding receptions, high school reunions, and it's a huge Mormon tradition for kids to celebrate their eighth birthday at the Lion House. What a racket.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, I wonder if it's like some sort of confirmation age or like.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh yes. Maybe in the house you will find a framed piece of art that depicts flowers embroidered using Brigham Young's wives. Actual hair.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Pretty.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah. Wooden chairs that were carved custom to fit each wife's butt.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Great.

[Georgia Hardstark]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'd love it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I want one of those and lots of other treasures that were original to the home. Anyway, When I was 17, I was working a wedding reception late one night. What a fun job for a teenager, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

A wedding reception where you're dressed like an old style.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Mormon pioneer.

[Georgia Hardstark]

But there's no like you can't sneak the rest of anyone's glass of champagne cuz there's no alcohol.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You can smoke a cigarette. Aren't they allowed to smoke cigarettes?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I don't know. Not the women probably.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's Scientology. I'm so sorry. Not the women.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And I was assigned to close. Mostly that just means take garbages out, run the dishwasher, etc. The worst part however was turning off the lights at the end of the night. Hauling ass out of the house. I'm sure you can imagine the super creepy portraits and mirrors that are all over the place. On this particular night I decided I would turn off all the lights first. You know, get the scary part over and then do the dishes alone in the kitchen of a pitch black. Definitely haunted pioneer house. And be candlelight or something, right? Maybe it's like you turn the lights off in the entire house, but the Kitchen light is on. Or like in the ballroom or whatever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Maybe. But the idea of getting the scary part done first, the scariness is the darkness. So you're not getting it done if you go back into it and hang out at it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, the logic doesn't. Logic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I just would love to discuss the logic of this decision.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Her name is Sarah. Sarah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, Sarah.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Ok. Made total sense at the time. I swear she was 17. Obviously I was terrified of every tiny noise I heard. But by the time I was done, most of the jumpiness had worn off and I had let my guard down. As I hung up my pioneer pinafore, turned off the kitchen light and waited for the elevator to take me to the parking garage, I heard footsteps above me. I froze. I just stood there alone in a scary pitch dark house and listened for a good 10 minutes as the footsteps moved from room to room above me, occasionally rustling the curtains, softly opening and closing cupboards, and slowly worked their way down the stairs towards me. I backed myself up against a wall and squeezed my eyes shut. With tears streaming down my face. I was positive the ghost of Brother Brigham was coming to drag me to Mormon hell. Then I heard a man's voice say, you good? What? I opened my eyes to see a security guard standing in front of me. Turns out that there are several security guards who would come in after we turn the lights off to double check the house before locking up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Security guard, she's crying.

[Georgia Hardstark]

She's crying and has her eyes and she's like, oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And he's like, are you good?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Bam.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No. I'm a scene from a horror movie. I'm what happens right before the girl gets killed in the horror movie.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I'm a ghost security guard. No, I'm not okay, help out.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're part of this.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Why they didn't just turn off the freaking lights themselves is beyond me. So when I turned off the lights early, he came in to make his rounds and scared the pioneer heritage right out of me. Stay sexy and don't pee in your pioneer pinafore. When a prophet ghost stalks you. Yeah, Sarah, she her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Easy for you to say, Sarah. I would have lost my.

[Georgia Hardstark]

I mean you were. Your face was terrified just now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, also because I started imagining, you know, like kind of like haunted mansion where. Yeah, just some white, gauzy see through beings coming down the stairs.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, definitely white.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it's just some blonde dude in a big security jacket like. You good?

[Georgia Hardstark]

You okay?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Are you good? Sobbing oh my God. Okay, that was a good one. All right. The Subject line of this email is the baboons will not be deterred. Hi, period. One summer I joined my best friend and her family for a day trip to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. New Jersey is in and of itself an amaz amusement park. But I don't need to tell you, of course. No. Say no more. This Six Flags has a safari component, which in retrospect is a bad idea on pretty much every level. They may have increased safety precautions and things since my visit, but this was the 90s, during which the lingering effects of the fuck around and find out 80s were still deeply felt. God. God, I love a well written email. My mom's friend Diane was driving us through the safari in her hatchback. We saw giraffes and rhinos and maybe some zebras. It was really delightful. Then the sky seemed to darken and a hush fell over the expanse.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh no.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The expanse of the hatchback. I looked up and saw a single baboon cresting the hill next to our car. A sentinel. In a matter of seconds, a veritable troop of baboons. And then, in parentheses it says the official word for a group of baboons, by the way, crested the hill. I laughed nervously, but reasoned that they wouldn't and couldn't do much damage to us and our sturdy Chevy. What follows are a series of scenes that will stay with me forever. First, a bright red baboon ass sliding across the windshield. Next, a baboon tearing off the car's license plate and scurrying over the hill, never to return.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God. He's like I got mine.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's for the clubhouse. Then a determined pair of baboons excising the passenger side mirror from its socket. When the initial assault seemed calm, Diana asked me, a child, to go and retrieve the mirror the baboons had stolen.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Okay, little child, get out.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go fight that baboon. I can't just buy another one of those mirrors. We could see it lying broken in the dust a few feet from the bumper. Maybe she thought that my small size would make me nimble enough to dodge the baboons. Or that I myself had a baboon vibe that the other baboons might appreciate. Surprisingly, I didn't question her request. I gingerly opened my car door, peering to my right and left. I seized a baboon free moment and dashed back to the mirror. Suddenly, one of the determined ones skidded up into oh my God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You could have asked one of the employees at the safari to get the mirror. And not a literal child.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The value of children was less than a side mirror of a Chevy hatchback in this era.

[Georgia Hardstark]

God, it's.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is such a perfectly written email. I just love it. Okay. Suddenly, one of the more determined ones skidded into view, hovering protectively over the mirror. Yeah. We sized each other up and I took an experimental step forward. The baboon called my bluff and shuffled closer, at which point I thought, wait, what the fuck? And sped back into the car. Needless to say, Diane had to drive home without the benefit of her blind spot mirror, although all of the children in her charge survived.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it just says, yes, this really happened.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Stay sexy and don't play chicken with baboons.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Emily, face to face with a baboon.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Honey, jump out, get into the troop there.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You're the littlest one. You're the same size.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go baboon it up. I think you're a Grab that mirror away from a baboon. You know when your timer goes off in your dryer, so you go to pull your clothes out, but they're still wet?

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's the kind of everyday chaos a home warranty from American Home Shield can help you with.

[Karen Kilgariff]

If covered parts of your H vac, electrical, plumbing or appliances break, American Home Shield will fix or replace them, no matter their age.

[Georgia Hardstark]

So if your washing machine stops spinning or your dishwasher suddenly decides to retire, American Home Shield can send a qualified pro to diagnose and fix the covered issue.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And if the covered item can't be fixed, they'll help replace it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

They even offer video chat as a benefit to some plans so you can connect with a repair expert and troubleshoot the issue in real time. You can't control when things break down, but you can be prepared.

[Karen Kilgariff]

American Home Shield has over 50 years of experience, so yeah, they've seen it all.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And you can save money on a plan.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Today, our listeners get 20% off off any plan.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Visit ahs.commfm to sign up and see promo details.

[Karen Kilgariff]

See ahs.comcontracts for coverage details, including limit amounts, fees, limitations and exclusions. Goodbye.

[Georgia Hardstark]

You know what's scary? Realizing you forgot your greens again. Groo makes it easy. No powders and no pills. Just eight daily delicious gummies packed with over 20 vitamins, minerals and 60 whole food ingredients. They're vegan, gluten free, and taste like fruit snacks. And they even make Grun's kids. For the little ones in your life who think spinach is a personal attack, you've got nutrition gaps and groons fills them. This is the simplest health upgrade you'll ever make. No prep, no blender, no excuses. Whether you're already into wellness or still figuring it out, Groons fits right into your routine. This is a habit that tastes so good you'll actually want to keep it. Right now you can get up to 45% off your first order with code MFM. That's 45% off using code MFM. So skip the mess, skip the stress. Just chew and go. Groons. Get your daily greens the easiest way possible. Goodbye. Okay, here we go. I'm not going to tell you the title. It's about snails though. Hey y' all, I didn't send this story in earlier because I figured you would be inundated with snail mail. Hahaha. After episode 470 they wrote Hahaha snail mail. Yeah, Turns out I was wrong and perhaps my condition is more unique than I thought. So here goes. It was an icy cold night. This will be important later on in March 2015 when my husband and I went out to dinner with another couple a shishi local restaurant in Norfolk, Virginia. This night I was feeling adventurous and ordered the escargot swimming in butter and garlic. It says not actually swimming. That would be snail tartare and too hot cuisine even for me. But I digress. We all had the chance to enjoy the delicate little buggers. Very tasty. And leave it to me to sop up every last bit of snail juice and garlic butter with the hot crusty table bread.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, I like the bread part, but oh my God.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Fast forward about 30 minutes later when we skedaddle home to pay the babysitter and put our kids to bed. My oldest daughter and I were both singing in a local production of Mulan Jr. And we needed to get a good night's rest before starting tech week.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's cool.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, cute. While my husband herded the kids into the bathroom upstairs to brush their teeth and go to sleep, I got ready for bed. In the downstairs bathroom. I noticed fairly quickly that my throat was itching and my lungs were getting tight. I immediately assumed that I had caught a bug somehow and was likely catching a cold right before our busiest week, of course. But in no time flat my throat had begun to close up on me and I could barely croak out for help. I banged on the wall repeatedly to get my husband's attention. He came flying down the stairs shushing me, upset that I might excite the kids as they were trying to go to sleep. He was horrified to find me in the bathroom bug eyed Clutching my throat and gasping this beautiful, amazing, steady as a rock, husband of mine grabbed me and a bottle of Benadryl and rushed us outside to the front porch in the freezing cold, where he shoved three Benadryl down my throat and me to sit on a rocking chair. He calmly explained that I had an anaphylactic reaction to something I ate and that the cold air and medicine would soon allow me to breathe again. Sure enough, within the hour, I was relatively back to normal, albeit blue from the cold. The next day I went to my doctor, who ordered a series of tests to determine what the cause of my reaction might have been. I've suffered from a lot of allergies in my time, most of them environmental, but nothing like this and nothing ever food related. Ultimately, my doctor surmised that I suffer from a snail allergy and that this attack was a warning. The next time I eat a snail, it might could kill me. She prescribed me an EpiPen, which all of my family and friends have now learned to use just in case. How do you accidentally eat a snail though? In the future?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Someone putting snails in your sandwich?

[Georgia Hardstark]

The weirdos even fight over who gets to stab me if someone accidentally slips snails into my meal. And you can only imagine the looks that I get at restaurants when the wait staff asks if anyone at the table has any food allergies. The kitchen needs to be aware of. Good news. She can't use the serum either.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No. My God. Then her skin starts choking out here.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Clogging.

[Georgia Hardstark]

The good news is I was able to perform in the show with no lasting vocal trauma. And now my children have a legit reason never to try eating snails. It might be hereditary after all. Love y' all. Lots. Keep doing what you're doing. One day at a time. This world needs your voices. Stay sexy and leave the snails to the French. Kristen B. She her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm so glad you're still here with us.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Thank God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also, what's your husband do for a living that he was able to see his wife choking and absolutely solve that problem immediately. Just know. Was he lying about being outside helping and being cold? Having it be a cold helping.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Does that work?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, I guess it did.

[Georgia Hardstark]

It should.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But who is that guy?

[Georgia Hardstark]

I know. Impressive.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry, but, Kristin, but your husband upstaged you in this email. Okay, so I think you're gonna like this one. The subject line is safe harbor success story. Okay, it starts. Entire MFM crew. After hours of trying to come up with a jazzy introduction with no luck, I can safely say I will no longer be critiquing other fans who write in. I will say how thankful I am for the countless hours of laughter and companionship Karen and Georgia have provided. I love reading about us in the third person. I can remember the moment I heard your podcast for the first time. Picture it. 2019, my garage in Nebraska. Gearing up to mow the lawn and needing a good listen. God, I love that so much. What are you even doing right now? MFM's logo stood out in the list of graphics. Kudos to the design team. The design team named Georgia Heartstark. So I clicked play, and off I started. It's ironic that while mowing just last week, I listened to episode 476, Sprinkles and Googly Eyes, and finally had my reason to write in. Karen told the story of Toby Young, the founder of Safe Harbor Prison Dogs. Oh, yeah, we adopted our dog Brewski from Safe harbor back in 2014.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Holy shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Brewski's mom came into the program pregnant, so when she had her litter, we took home our beloved Lab Greyhound mix. Brusky came to us vaccinated, microchipped, and trained by prisoners to sit and stay. His adoption packet even included pictures and a letter from one of the trainers. Those trainers love those dogs.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally. Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Probably more than anybody.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We thought it was such a great way to allow meaningful rehabilitation while also finding homes for dogs. During the pandemic, I was fortunate to work from home and took daily walks with Bruski. It was my way to feel more normal during crazy times. Less because of the virus itself, but more because of society's batshit response to Covid and masking. I mean, unfortunately, Brusky passed away in 2024 due to an inoperable tumor. He was the perfect dog and will always have a special place in our family's hearts. I miss our walks together and his presence in our home, but I still find his dog hair in places, and it makes me smile, stay sexy, and always adopt. Even if the founder orchestrated a prison escape.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Jared.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And look at beautiful Brusky.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That is a gorgeous dog. Look at that puppy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Look at that baby.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Good boy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Lab Greyhound Mix.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a good mix.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's a great mix.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's a loyal dog. Oh, my God. You said it was about slugs. You lied.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I did. That was my comparable comedy choice that I made. Got it.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Got it. Guys, write us your stories.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Please tell us where you got your dog.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Yeah, what a perfect. What's it called? No, they got the dog from a story that you did about a woman who did prison escapes with the dog. It's perfect. Yes, we need those.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is if you can connect your pet to a story we tell on the main episode.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Let us know.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Let us know My Favorite Murder at Gmail. Thank you guys for listening and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This has been an Exactly Right pretty.

[Georgia Hardstark]

Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[Georgia Hardstark]

This episode was mixed by Liana Squilacci.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Email your hometowns to my favorite murdermail.com.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And follow the show on Instagram at My Favorite Murder.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Georgia Hardstark]

And now you can watch us on exactly right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Goodbye Goodbye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are, and it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a nude victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based Restoration Special will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning Lifelock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan. If you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information, but with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code or go to lifelock.com murder for 40% off terms apply. You know those commercials where a single impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence?

[Georgia Hardstark]

Oh yeah, that's not real life.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, but Hyundai's available Class Exclusive Advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Karen Kilgariff]

Learn more about [e-mail] or call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

[Georgia Hardstark]

That's H Y U N d a I usa.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye. Taking care of yourself is hard enough without adding a blender and a bucket of spinach to the mix. Groons makes it simple to get your greens. No chopping, mixing or pretending you like kale. Required just eight daily delicious gummies packed with over 20 vitamins, minerals and 60 whole food ingredients. Ingredients. They're vegan, gluten free, and taste like fruit snacks. Plus, there's Groons. Kids for the little ones, Whether you're already into wellness or still figuring it out, Groons fits right into your routine. You've got nutrition gaps, and Groons fills them. Use code MFM for up to 45% off. That's code MFM for up to 45 percent off. Groons get your greens the easiest way possible. Goodbye.