Rewind with Karen & Georgia - Episode 43: In Arrears

Summary

Summary of "Rewind with Karen & Georgia - Episode 43: In Arrears"

In Episode 43 of "Rewind with Karen & Georgia," hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark take listeners on a nostalgic journey back to one of their early episodes titled "In Arrears." Originally released on November 17, 2016, this special installment offers a comprehensive recap of the original story, enriched with fresh commentary, updates, and insightful reflections.

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Introduction: Revisiting "In Arrears"

The episode opens with Karen and Georgia humorously grappling with the title "In Arrears," highlighting their unfamiliarity with the term. They set the scene by mentioning significant birthdays shared by RuPaul, Rachel McAdams, and Danny DeVito—all Scorpios—adding a personal and light-hearted touch to the discussion ([01:23] Patton Oswalt).

Correction Corner: Clarifying Missteps

Karen and Georgia dedicate a segment to their "Correction Corner," addressing past errors and clarifying terminology. A listener named Milo Pulitzer points out the misuse of the term "psychotic," prompting the hosts to distinguish between "psychopathy" and "psychosis." Karen emphasizes the importance of accurate language, especially when discussing mental health in the context of true crime:

“People suffering from psychosis are actually less likely to commit violent crime than the general public...” ([08:11] Karen Kilgariff)

Personal Anecdotes and Light Banter

Interspersed with serious discussions, the hosts share personal stories and engage in playful banter. They recount mishaps like texting errors and their experiences with the Writers Guild of America, where Karen humorously admits to being "in arrears" on her dues. This blend of humor and personal insights adds depth to their dynamic and makes the episode relatable for listeners.

Recapping "In Arrears": The International Dunes Hotel Murder

The heart of the episode delves into the original "In Arrears" story—a harrowing account of cult leader Bruce Longo, also known as Emmanuel David. After being excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for his rock-and-roll demeanor, Longo forms his own cult where every member adopts the last name "David." He leads his followers in nomadic living, primarily residing at the International Dunes Hotel in Salt Lake City.

Karen narrates Longo's manipulative leadership, highlighting his charismatic yet toxic influence over his family and followers. The situation spirals out of control when governmental investigations intensify, leading Longo to commit suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his truck ([32:00] Karen Kilgariff). The tragedy culminates in Longo's wife, Rachel, in a state of utter despair, pushing multiple children off the hotel’s patio—a horrifying act witnessed by onlookers.

“She pushed all of her children off of the 11th floor of this hotel. So there were people standing on the street below and screaming at her.” ([47:20] Karen Kilgariff)

The Unabomber Connection: Theories and Speculations

Karen and Georgia draw intriguing parallels between the International Dunes Hotel Murder and the notorious Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski. They speculate on possible connections based on geographic proximity and shared anti-technological motives, though they acknowledge the speculative nature of these theories. This segment showcases their analytical approach to true crime storytelling.

“In all of the ways he's broken the law… he's done it all.” ([41:00] Karen Kilgariff)

Case Updates and Hope for Resolution

The episode concludes with updates on the unresolved case. Karen shares recent developments, including collaborations between law enforcement and biotech firms aiming to utilize advanced DNA technology to potentially solve the mystery decades later. Nurse Helen Jensen, a pivotal figure in the original investigation, reflects on the enduring impact of the case and expresses hope for closure.

“James Lewis, one of the main suspects in the poisonings, died in July of 2023.” ([90:14] Nurse Helen Jensen)

Closing Thoughts and Encouragement

In their final remarks, Karen and Georgia encourage listeners to support the show through reviews and engagement, reinforcing the strong community they've built over the years. They sign off with their signature phrase, blending their unique humor with a touch of darkness:

“Stay sexy and don’t get murdered.” ([88:43] Karen Kilgariff)

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Karen Kilgariff:
  “People suffering from psychosis are actually less likely to commit violent crime than the general public…” ([08:11] Karen Kilgariff)
  “Stay sexy and don’t get murdered.” ([88:43] Karen Kilgariff)

• Nurse Helen Jensen:
  “James Lewis, one of the main suspects in the poisonings, died in July of 2023.” ([90:14] Nurse Helen Jensen)

• Patton Oswalt:
  “You just gotta buckle down.” ([30:10] Patton Oswalt)

Conclusion

Episode 43 of "Rewind with Karen & Georgia" serves as both a nostalgic revisit and a deep dive into one of "My Favorite Murder’s" early and impactful stories. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and thorough analysis, Karen and Georgia provide listeners—both long-time fans and newcomers—with a rich, engaging summary of the International Dunes Hotel Murder. Their ability to balance dark true crime narratives with their signature comedic style makes this episode a compelling listen that honors the original story while offering new perspectives and hope for unresolved cases.

Transcript

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is exactly right.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Hello and welcome to Rewind with Karen and Georgia.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The this is the episode where we.

[Patton Oswalt]

Take you back to the early days of my favorite murder. And we recap our old episodes with new commentary and updates and insights.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And in today's episode, we're recapping episode 43, which I'll never forget the name because I didn't know what the word meant and it was the first time I think I heard it. The episode is called In Arrears.

[Patton Oswalt]

In Arrears.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Arrears.

[Elvis]

That's right.

[Patton Oswalt]

In Arrears. In your ear.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

In Arrears.

[Patton Oswalt]

This episode came out on November 17, 2016. RuPaul's birthday. Rachel McAdams birthday. Danny DeVito's birthday. Three classic Scorpios.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Gorgeous. I hope they celebrate together. What a great party.

[Patton Oswalt]

That would make so fun.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But in the meantime, let's listen to the intro of episode 43.

[Elvis]

Let's start a punk band.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. Hey, what should the name of it be? Hardcore.

[Elvis]

All right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All right, bye. Welcome to my favorite murder. My name is Karen Kilgariff. That's Georgia Hardstart.

[Elvis]

Hi.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're here to talk about true crime murders and how it feels to be Alive in late 2016. Georgia, what are your thoughts?

[Elvis]

Oh, let's fucking get into. No. I don't know. Do you really want to ask me that question?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Dude, let's go to the phones.

[Elvis]

When you say late 2016, it makes me think that someday this will be like a time capsule. Someone. And hold on. I feel like I'm talking with my mouth. You know that?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like you are talking with your mouth. The whole thing.

[Elvis]

I just ate a bite of something and I have that like weird chewed up food.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, that weird chewed up food thing.

[Elvis]

That you get in your mouth when you eat things.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I get that sometimes at dinner.

[Elvis]

Breakfast, sometimes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sometimes lunch. I don't know.

[Elvis]

Snacks, Time capsule. Hello to 2050.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, seriously, everything that you do that gets put on the Internet is permanent.

[Elvis]

I remember. So the Internet goes down and everything I don't believe that that's very true.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Unless the grid goes down and all of society ends.

[Elvis]

That's what I really think is I actually don't feel that this is gonna be a time capsule because it's all gonna go down. There's a really great book that I won't remember.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Is it called it's all gonna Go Down?

[Elvis]

Yeah, but I haven't written it yet.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's not based on any or. It's not like you're a computer person or anything. It's just kind of like they're gonna.

[Elvis]

Do account in 2050 and the word dude is gonna appear 4,000 times in my book. Dude. Bro. Dude. So then.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I texted Georgia. Sorry, I went away for a second because I had to remember this, but.

[Elvis]

I don't know what you're gonna say, and I'm scared.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I texted Georgia. No, it was just about something, but I. In the text, I called you dude. It was like something congratulatory and I was like, way to go. And you wrote back, that's so dude.

[Elvis]

I know.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I saw that later.

[Elvis]

I did.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Did you do it on purpose?

[Elvis]

No.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. I couldn't figure out if you were being. It felt like you were like, thanks. Like, it was like you going, yeah, thanks a lot.

[Elvis]

No, what I meant to write actually was thanks, dude. But instead I wrote, that's dude.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's so dude.

[Elvis]

That's dude. And I didn't. I didn't notice it till like hours later. So I was like, well, I'm not gonna bother her. It's like, it was like night time on a Saturday. I'm not gonna bother her that now. So that's. Dude. Like, she's gotta know what I mean a little bit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I looked at it. I was just like, she might be telling me to off right now. Although there's really no reason to anyway.

[Elvis]

I would never. If I'm telling you to off, it's because I miswrote something.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, because like, you typed it because you were trying to write thanks, dude. Yeah.

[Elvis]

And if I put an exclamation mark, it's friendly.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay.

[Elvis]

If I put a period, it's not so friendly if there's no punctuation.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're driving.

[Elvis]

Yeah. You to hell.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Are we. Do we have some corners?

[Elvis]

I have a correction corner.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

Which I kind of love because it's. I think it's hilarious. But last week in our very. In a very special episode.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. In the breakdown episode.

[Elvis]

In the breakdown, when everything went wrong, when. When the grid started to Sizzle.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And in the beginning.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And now it's fully aflame.

[Elvis]

Yeah. And in 2050, when it's completely down, this won't matter. But I said that the moment I saw. What I meant was the moment on TV on Tuesday night when I saw Rachel Maddow's face fall. I was like, oh, we're fucked.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Elvis]

But instead I said, anne Maddox, which is a girlfriend of mine who's, like, super strange, not someone, you know in real life. Oh, totally. It's like a friend of mine who's a comedian. She's super funny. Like, she's great. But I was just like. And I saw Maddox. And I was just like, man, when I saw Anne Maddox's face, that's really funny. Well, I haven't seen her in a while, so that's not what happened.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Somebody actually tweeted to us, and it was just the. With the quotes around it of you saying. When you kept saying don marrow.

[Elvis]

Oh, that's another correction.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's.

[Elvis]

I don't know if that's correction corner as much as, like, stroke corner corner.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's. We should have stroke out corner, because it happens constantly. And when you were doing it, it sounded right to me every time you said it.

[Elvis]

That scares me because, a. I wasn't drinking.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, that was your mistake.

[Elvis]

I can't function.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That was the problem.

[Elvis]

I said. I said, become a. I was meaning to say, become a bone marrow donor, but twice in a row, I said, don't marrow. And I didn't. I would have kept going if you hadn't said. And you said, don marrow. And I was like, yeah, I would. I didn't even notice.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's. And those are the kind of things I feel like such a. It makes me feel like an asshole. But I know that people listening are like, but that just happened. Like, it would. It drives me crazy when I. When I listen to podcasts and something happens, and then your brain explodes because nobody says anything about it or it feels like people don't notice.

[Elvis]

I want to be called out on my shit all the time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

I want to be fucking imperfect and okay with it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Same here. Me too.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, I think we're pretty good about that.

[Elvis]

About being imperfect.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, being imperfect and. And mentioning it.

[Elvis]

We are.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think we do it.

[Elvis]

We do it well.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well. Because I trust you. I know that when you mention it to me, you're just. It's not because you're trying to, like, yeah. Make me feel small. You're just like, here's what's actually happening.

[Elvis]

Good personalities. I know. That's why the other day when you told me you called me out on saying the word fucking all the time. I didn't. I know you didn't mean it like that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay.

[Elvis]

I know you didn't. If I did like. But I know intention. You know intention.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, good.

[Elvis]

Very well.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Good. This is. We're. We're really building a bridge of love right now.

[Elvis]

We are.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It feels great.

[Elvis]

I mean, we need it now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now more than ever.

[Elvis]

Times now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, 2016, now more than ever. Now more than ever. I have a. This is a. This is a very official corrections corner that I really like.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's from Milo. I don't know if I'm assuming Milo is a man. And it's. I love this. Okay, so it's misuse of the word psychotic.

[Elvis]

Oh, okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hello, Karen in Georgia. I'm a big fan of my favorite murder, but one thing that I have noticed is a misuse slash abuse of the word psychotic. This is all me because I love. My mom was a psychiatric nurse, so I use a lot of the terminology that she used to throw around, but she knew what it meant, and I don't.

[Elvis]

Well, when you say. You say things. Psychopath. He was, you know, he was a psycho. Whatever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right? Yeah. It's in our vernacular.

[Elvis]

But I like. I like hearing this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Me too. Okay, so ready? Psychopathy. Socio. Sociopathy. I don't know how you pronounce that one. Is different from psychosis. People suffering from psychosis are actually less likely to commit violent crime than the general public and are actually more likely to have violent crime committed against them.

[Elvis]

That's so interesting.

[Karen Kilgariff]

While there are those who have mood disorders or display psychosis, psychotic behavior that do commit violent crime, like Richard Chase, Vincent Lee, who. I don't know who that is. And now must know.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Li the ways we judge them should be different than the ways we judge people who have more awareness for the crimes that they commit. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you for your awesome podcast, Milo.

[Elvis]

Thanks, Milo.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Milo, first of all, I hope that this is true and that you are some kind of psychopath. Milo, you are such a psychopath for understanding that. No. You know that you're qualified in some way that you're telling us this from a place of education.

[Elvis]

I mean, look at it. I'm sure it's correct.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I guess we'll have to double check it.

[Elvis]

I like. I like hearing that. Remember when. Remember when, like, it was like, 25% of people are psychopaths Sociopaths. And then you're like, corrections quarter. It's only one quarter.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. Yeah. I get intimidated by numbers.

[Elvis]

They're scary.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But I love psychological terminology also. There was somebody that wrote to us that was offended something by something.

[Elvis]

They were offended by something.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They were offended by something. But it was a thing where it was almost just like a little. It's a note to be careful of how we are judgmental when people have mental illness.

[Elvis]

I was just going to say that because we just read a hometown story where they said that someone. Someone was found out that they were bipolar. And I immediately didn't want to say what they were because. Because that's not an indication that you're going to be a murderer or that you're mentally ill. Well, you are mentally ill, but that you're, you know, dangerous or.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it doesn't need the stigma. Yeah.

[Elvis]

I know people who are bipolar and they're very awesome people. I don't.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I hate.

[Elvis]

Unless it's something extreme and clear, I don't want to say that that person has this mental illness.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. And I think us being conversational and reading stories, and especially when we're talking about killers or serial killers, we can play it very fast and loose with judgments about them because we feel like, well, they're clearly a villain. But the point that this person was making was a little bit more like, you know, just not everybody that has a mental disorder is a killer. And that makes people. If you hear the thing that you have. But. But it's as if, like, that's everybody. We never want to make anybody feel like that.

[Elvis]

No.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Quite the opposite.

[Elvis]

Especially with mental. With mental illness and disorders, which we're very big on. Like, fucking everyone has them and some people treat them and some don't. And you shouldn't be scared to treat them because you found out that a fucking serial killer has it. I don't wanna.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. Or like it's just on this podcast. We're. We're not judging you.

[Elvis]

No.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's not what we try. Are trying to do, and we'll try to be careful about it.

[Elvis]

We're judging murderers.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. We get to pick and choose. So we judge and we'll adjust it weekly based on how much feedback we get on Twitter.

[Elvis]

Just always know we're good people. We're the best people.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yep. Always give us the benefit of the doubt, even if we're being insanely effective.

[Elvis]

You're probably wrong, not us. I just want to clear that up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Such an official corrections corner this week.

[Elvis]

So Good, Maddox. Shout out, Shout out.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And, Maddox, you're doing such a great job helping us through our political times.

[Elvis]

What else? Oh, shirt. There's new shirts up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, yeah. I love that new shirt.

[Elvis]

Oh, yeah. Okay, good.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Politeness.

[Elvis]

Politeness.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then it says Murderino underneath it.

[Elvis]

It says my favorite murder underneath it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, my favorite murderer.

[Elvis]

It just looks like. Kind of looks like the Murderino design.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sure, it's cool. We were talking about this earlier. Fuck politeness. But also, in these very difficult times, be careful of the people around you. Be sensitive and try to connect on a human level in a way that you normally don't. Maybe. I think it's super important that people around you understand that you care about them. And if you are the kind of person who doesn't care about people, do your thing. But I just want to underline that fuck politeness in our world means don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of politeness because that could be dangerous for you. But it also, it does not mean fuck the people around you in general. Especially now. Especially now. Now's the time to be even more kind of caring and connected. Just don't, like, let people follow you to your car and shit. It's a. We're talking safety versus, you know, when you're talking to the. At Starbucks, be nicer than you normally would be because everyone's freaked out.

[Elvis]

But if you're being intimidated and you're scared of something, you know, it's a kind of a trust your gut type of. Type of saying, yeah, you guys know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What we're talking about. But I underline it.

[Elvis]

There's the Mr. Rogers quote of, you know how his mom always said, look for the helpers. In any bad situation, look for the helpers. Well, how about, let's be helpers, be helpers? Exactly right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Speaking of being helpers, this is my favorite thing that's happened to me in a while. So I'm no brag in the Writers Guild of America. Look. Wait, what? I've been waiting to lord this over you for a while.

[Elvis]

This whole time, I've been talking to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

A Writer's Guild member, so. In the Writer's Guild, they have this thing where.

[Elvis]

No, I do think it's really cool, though, by the way. I just want to say that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That I'm in the Writers Guild.

[Elvis]

I mean, in the Writer's Guild is a fucking cool thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, thanks.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now I'm glad I mentioned it. No, but they do this thing where normally in every other entertainment union, they send you a thing that says, oh. Now, your yearly dues are 160. Whatever. But because it's writers and most of us are freelance, they base your dues based on how much money you made that year or per quarter, which is based on. It's so impossible. The second I start thinking about it, I shut down and go and sit in front of the tv, like, in protest.

[Elvis]

You big old. I can't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I can't. It's like math. It's all the things I hate. I get overwhelmed. Yes. So I have been in arrears and my dues at the wg.

[Elvis]

You've been in what?

[Karen Kilgariff]

In arrears?

[Elvis]

Yeah, you texted me that today, and I don't know what that means.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, it just means you haven't paid your dues. That's a correct. And you can't. If you do it long enough, they suspend your. Your membership, and then you can't work.

[Elvis]

That's how I can't. I. My Sparklets membership is. I'm overdue on that. That's why you saw all those empty bottles when you walked up my staircase.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You're very careful. You don't want to get into arrears with the Sparklets guy.

[Elvis]

I'm in arrears with Sparklets.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He will kick you in the ARR. Oh, that's such a dad joke.

[Elvis]

That was amazing. I love dad jokes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So I have a lot of these things in my life right now, but one of them is the dues that I don't know how to figure out how much I need to send. And I won't take the time like everybody else does to sit down and do it because I think I'm better than other people and special.

[Elvis]

Aren't you? A little bit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No. So it's a thing that's hanging over my head. I get a letter today, and I'm like, you have to open this. You have to face this. So I read the letter, and the letter tells me exactly how much I owe.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And I'm like, oh. Oh, this is the letter. This is what I need. This is exactly it. And I read the rest of the letter, and it's like, please send it in in a timely fashion. It's just a form. It looks like a form letter, except for it has my amount in it. And the sign off is, stay sexy. Don't get murdered.

[Elvis]

Fuck, yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So my friend at the WGA who works in the dues department and who sends out these letters all the time, your new bestie. My new bestie helped me in a way that she Will never know how much.

[Elvis]

What if she's actually just been using that sign off for decades and she's.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Going to sue us?

[Elvis]

And this first time it actually hit someone who was.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Who wasn't.

[Elvis]

Like, what the fuck?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Finally someone could appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah, it was. You'll never know how much that helped me.

[Elvis]

It's such a little wink to you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's. It's such a compliment.

[Elvis]

I know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But then also it's like a person was like, I'll take care of that.

[Elvis]

This shit, this podcast, man.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, she's not paying my dues.

[Elvis]

No, let's be.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But that's the real favor.

[Elvis]

She should.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, you're.

[Elvis]

Well, thousands and thousands of this podcast. And I think after last week's episode that I. They feel really good about the post election episode and all of our friends and all of our friends who have been like, I needed that. And I think we did what we were supposed to do, which wasn't like a fucking overtly crazy political podcast. But here's the general mood we're in and here's what we can do.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Which was awesome. It just made me flash on, though. Our reviews for the sugar free gummy bears and then for the banana slicer.

[Elvis]

It was amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now people are posting other reviews and I read the one. I don't have the name, but it's for the vitamin D milk.

[Elvis]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it's called like, something farms vitamin D milk. And they've posted it on the Facebook page, but you can find it. It's Amazon reviews. It's the funniest thing.

[Elvis]

It's like a jug of milk, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a jug of milk. But people are writing it like, have you guys poured this over dry cereal? It's awesome. I mean, you have to read it.

[Elvis]

It's.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Some of them are really short. One lady wrote this big long story.

[Elvis]

It's the funniest thing I feel like. I feel like what happened last week was what was supposed to happen for sure. Really happy with it. And people have been so fucking kind and cool. I know. Not on your Twitter, probably, or Twitter's different.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We know it's a big garbage can of human waste. Of human waste.

[Elvis]

But on Instagram and everywhere else, people. I mean, that's the thing about this podcast is like, it makes me want to cry. I might cry.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go ahead.

[Elvis]

This is me crying.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Cry right now. You're gonna do a dry cry.

[Elvis]

That's basically what I do because I'm dead inside. But if I weren't I'd be alive from Murderinos. Oh, and also over the weekend, I went to Vince's. We went to this, like, charity event, and they have these, like, free bracelets where you can. You. You pick a word and they. And they stamp it into this metal and it's like your word of. And they said to me, like, what's your word of intention that every day you want to look at, you know, like, breathe or, like, you know, it's like one of those, like, dream, I.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Intend to breathe today. Yeah, like, no, I will.

[Elvis]

You know those, like, rocks that you get at, like, fucking Bed, Bath and Beyond that say, like, dream, love, build, be happy. Whatever the fuck it sounded.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just. Just sounded a little bit like you said dream blood.

[Elvis]

Well, that's what I got with it. No, I. I was like, okay, can I get ssdg? So I have it. I have one of these that says stay sex, you don't get murdered Initial.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Right?

[Elvis]

And I want to give it to someone at the Chicago Podcast Festival. Right? I need to give it to someone.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, just. You mean someone. Yeah, you could throw it. You could pick someone, you could slip into their pocket and that you. They never see.

[Elvis]

That's fun.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's a fun way, right?

[Elvis]

I just want to. And I know it's such a fucking trivial, stupid thing, but I just think it's fuck hilarious that she was like, okay. And, like, wrote it down and, like, didn't know what it was.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, and it kind of seems like it's shorthand for some kind of sadomasochistic sexual situation, doesn't it? Ssb.

[Elvis]

Ssbd.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Bdl.

[Elvis]

I have this. I got my. This is. We can cut this because this is boring, but I'm still gonna say it. I had my goodbye skippers. Goodbye. I had my DNA tested on 23andMe, which is like this crazy thing that you get your DNA test. It tells you where you're from, what percentage, and it also tells you what. What DNA abnormalities you have. And the one I have, the initials basically look like, really it's MT HFR or some. And it just looks like.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And it just means you're gonna die in a year. It really basically means that abnormality.

[Elvis]

You're really, like, you can't mother. It's totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's hilarious. You should have had that on a bracelet. It's me, the one with mthfk.

[Elvis]

Well, it's like when you. What's the, like, do Not Resuscitate bracelet? Yeah. Do not resuscitate.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just don't Just leave it.

[Elvis]

It just says, I'm good.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm.

[Elvis]

I do not resuscitate.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know what? If I'm down here, leave me here.

[Elvis]

My donor sticker on my license just says, just take it. It's like, I don't even care if I'm unconscious or not.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know what? You can have it.

[Elvis]

Someone else needs it more than I do.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't need this liver.

[Elvis]

Like, I really just sit around all day. So just fucking take. Give it to someone.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just take.

[Elvis]

Just give it to someone with a degree in something important.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Someone who's really trying.

[Patton Oswalt]

And we are back. Did you have any idea that your friend Ann Maddox would go on to become such a reality TV superstar?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

That's right. So she was Tom sand assistant in Vanderpump Rules, and she became Ariana Maddox's assistant. I don't think there's any relation there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But, yeah, she's, like, a hit, and I'm so happy for her. It's like, she deserves all of it. She's the sweetest person, and I love that I fucking just randomly brought her up in 2016, and now it's like, yeah, everyone knows her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, it's the best.

[Patton Oswalt]

Also, just the idea of your mistaking her for Rachel Maddow is the. Is such a one of those flips that I do where I'm like, it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Kind of sounds the same.

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't know.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah. And she does have a podcast, too, I should shout out called we signed an NDA.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hilarious. All the assistants, right?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah. The celebrity assistant world.

[Patton Oswalt]

Such a good idea.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah, she's great.

[Patton Oswalt]

What do they do?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Do they just.

[Patton Oswalt]

It's like Celebrity 1, 2, and 3. I'll listen to.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Okay. So then we also talk about 23andMe, which I just deleted completely recently. You two.

[Patton Oswalt]

I was never on it.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

You were never on it.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm one of those people that I never got Alexa or Siri.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't.

[Patton Oswalt]

I am as paranoid and as kind of like, stay away from me as possible. So any of that stuff, when it first came out, I was like, I don't care who I'm related to.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I am literally the opposite. Or I just, like, take all of my information. Tell me what's wrong with me, please. Oh, you want me to input my, like, blood work info into this so you can tell me how I can fix myself?

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Patton Oswalt]

But don't you think it is because I lived 10 years longer with no Internet than you?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Right.

[Patton Oswalt]

Like, it was not reality for me until my early 20s.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

That totally makes sense.

[Patton Oswalt]

So it's kind of just like, don't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go into that room.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ew.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah, well, you're right, because 23andMe filed for bankruptcy back in March.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's right.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

So after having a huge data breach. So now. Yeah, take your. Take your info down. You can download your info. So you always have it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Like your blood work and stuff. But then, like, shut it down. But, I mean, they still have it anyway, so.

[Patton Oswalt]

They have it.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Don't worry about it.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's going to be for the future Blade Runner world, where there's, like, a machine walking around with your skin on it or whatever. Sorry.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I could be cloned so easily. But why would you? Like, why? Nobody wants.

[Patton Oswalt]

You're gonna find out.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I mean. Go ahead. She's gonna be a mess.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But then what if. What if you got cloned and, like, they pick you as you're the future waitress of every restaurant or whatever.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Oh.

[Patton Oswalt]

I mean, what if you get picked?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I'd eat there. She's a good waitress.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's funny and sassy.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But, like, also, she does her side work and she's. She'll close and be efficient and sell you coke.

[Patton Oswalt]

All the things you want from a waitress.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

That's right. Give you a little bump every now.

[Patton Oswalt]

And then when you need it.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

All right, well, should we get into your story? Your first episode?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

This is. I mean, when I was going back through this story, I was just like.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wow, I think it's one of the last child murder, death of children. Like, I know I did more in the future, but it's that thing where it gave me that sense of, like, if you could track my. The lack of interest or the reduced interest. When you get to a story like this where you're like, what happened? That's crazy. And then when you actually hear it, and the reality of what happened that day is so tragic and dark and sad that it's like. Oh, that's right. Like, when you get to the end of many of these stories, you're just like, this is such a heavy, horrible thing.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

This is a child, an innocent child who had no choice in the matter. And it's. Yeah, I know you don't like to do those. Yeah, I don't either, but I do them more than you do.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Well, let's get into it. This is Karen's story about the International Dunes Hotel Murder. Suicide.

[Patton Oswalt]

You know, Georgia, they always tell you to touch grass, to spend time in nature, but what if I told you that Nature can be boxed up and delivered right to your door.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Well, now you can, thanks to Fast Growing trees.

[Patton Oswalt]

Did you know Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy custom new to plants or gardening? No problem. The website has everything you need. Plus each plant comes with clear care instructions.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Plus get support from their trained plant experts who are on call to help you plan your landscape, choose the right plants and learn how to care for them.

[Patton Oswalt]

God, I need to learn how to care for plants.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I would love to get this service.

[Patton Oswalt]

And just have somebody like teaching me as I have like a beautiful tree or plant in my house.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Like actually do this today.

[Patton Oswalt]

This is how you don't kill it.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

When do I water it?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

What season do I trim it? I don't know and I don't want to ask my mom because then I get a lecture.

[Patton Oswalt]

This spring they have the best deals for your yard, up to half off on select plants and other deals.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And listeners to our show get 15% off their first purchase when using the code MFM at checkout.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's an additional 15% off at fast growingtrees.com using the code MFM at checkout.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Fast growingtrees.com code MFM now is the perfect time to plant.

[Patton Oswalt]

Use MFM to save today. Offers valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply.

[Elvis]

Goodbye.

[Patton Oswalt]

Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are. And it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a nude victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's Lifelock. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, Guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning Lifelock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You can't control how diligent others are with your personal information. But with Lifelock you can help protect it. Act now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code MURDER or go to lifelock.com murder for 40% off terms apply.

[Elvis]

You just felt a chill in the air.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And that could only mean one thing. Mother's Day is right around the corner.

[Patton Oswalt]

And if you're thinking, wait, did I already give her a sweater? Last year.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, you did.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Time to mix it up with an.

[Patton Oswalt]

Aura frame or a Frames come with unlimited storage, so you can send as many photos as you want straight from your phone to your mom's frame.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Aura Frames allows users to curate and share their photos and memories with loved ones, making it a personal and meaningful gift.

[Patton Oswalt]

And you can save the wrapping paper. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

These frames are ranked as the number one digital picture frame by Wirecutter, and here's why. They're incredibly easy to set up, update, and enjoy.

[Patton Oswalt]

I've given an aura frame, I think, to every single member of my family, and everyone loves to talk about it. It's literally like a icebreaker place to.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go to start the party. Oh, look at that.

[Patton Oswalt]

Remember that? It's the perfect centerpiece for like a family gathering.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day.

[Patton Oswalt]

For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting Oraframes.com.

[Karen Kilgariff]

To get $35 off plus free shipping.

[Patton Oswalt]

On their best selling Carver mat frame.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

That's a U R A frames.com promo code MFM. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye. All right, can I just do my murder? I hate it.

[Elvis]

Yeah. No, go. Why do you skippers keep skipping?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Just don't come back. Skip all the way over.

[Elvis]

I really like my murder. So. Okay, come back for this. Prove it. No, this will be great.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This will be. I'll just skim this. I'll throw out some concepts. No, this was. Here's the long and short of it. I am doing the hometown murder that William sent in that I balked on because I thought that was so unfair of me that someone, I would have been so livid if I was listening to this podcast, gave a shit about it, heard my name, they started to do it and they were just like, no, I'm not doing it.

[Elvis]

And then they were like throwing children. Nope. Bye.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Because I want to know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So, William, first of all, my many and thorough apologies for jerking you around. But the thing is that once you get into it, it's not like anything saves it. It's not like it gets better, it doesn't have a different ending or there's not cool facts.

[Elvis]

So, wait, you were correct.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I was correct. But I'm. I'm gonna power through it.

[Elvis]

Good for you. Sounds like life, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

You just gotta buckle down.

[Elvis]

You're correct, but you just gotta fucking.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You just gotta. You just gotta say the hideous facts and the Hideous facts are this, that basically this, this, the. It took place on August 4th of 1978. So set the tone. We're in Salt Lake City, it's 1978. So you got a lot of brown, you got a lot of corduroy, a lot of blondes, actually.

[Elvis]

Do you think there are a lot of sideburns or no?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I think there are plenty of sideburns. I think there's blonde hair with brown sideburns, which is a thing that only happened back then and doesn't happen anymore.

[Elvis]

Good.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Remember Stephen?

[Elvis]

Stephen was there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He knows.

[Elvis]

Steven and Elvis were traveling band, so there was.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now, as many people know, Salt Lake City is predominantly Mormon. I mean, the whole state is very Mormon. Salt Lake City more so. And there was a man, this man is named Bruce Longo and he has been excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints because he's too rock and roll.

[Elvis]

If you're too rock and roll for the Church of Latter Day Saints, if.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Your ideas are too big and bold and you get excommunicated, something's going on. Because those are people that like, they like a group. They like. They like their religion, they want people in it.

[Elvis]

Big and bold. Is there saying. I don't know, what's their saying?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I think it's big and bolding.

[Elvis]

Big and bold and read all over.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Big and bold in a couple tablets. That's us, the lds.

[Elvis]

I can't wait to see that meme.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So Bruce Longo, he got excommunicated and so he started his own cult. Essentially.

[Elvis]

That's what you do when you get kicked out of a thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, that's right. You splinter off, you start your own. You grow a ponytail, you gain 200 pounds and you fucking act like the cult leader that you are. He also changed his name to Emmanuel David, which is a thoroughly religious sounding name. And I can never find a name of the cult that he started. But what it was was everybody in the cult had the last name David. So that's. It was like they didn't put together, you know, 25 Davids or any kind of like catchy.

[Elvis]

The 25 Davids.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The 25 Davids.

[Elvis]

That's her band name.

[Karen Kilgariff]

There it is.

[Elvis]

That's her punk band name. Punk rock, 25 Davids.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But basically he got. It was mostly his family members and a couple friends and they got into it. And he apparently was like all cult leaders. He's charismatic, he's very engaging.

[Elvis]

He has a ponytail.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He has a ponytail. He's kind of large. And he gives people reason. You know, he's like a guide.

[Elvis]

How great would that be to have that to believe in a thing right now?

[Karen Kilgariff]

If I could meet a 300 pound man with a ponytail that told me what was what. Goodbye. I would quit this podcast. I would walk on you both.

[Elvis]

I'm trying so hard just to let you finish because I just want you to keep going.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You knew I was just like, please. Didn't even know what I was gonna say.

[Elvis]

Not interrupt this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You have to finish the sentence.

[Elvis]

Email at Karen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's no. I'm also. I like a bigger man. Don't worry. Don't worry that I'm being sarcastic right now.

[Elvis]

For sure.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ponytail. No way.

[Elvis]

No. Gross.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What are you doing?

[Elvis]

What are you gonna Iguana dudes?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Stop it. Dude. Did you say. Are you an iguana dude?

[Elvis]

Are you an iguana dude? You know the guys who hang out at coffee shops in the 90s with an iguana on their shoulders?

[Karen Kilgariff]

What the.

[Elvis]

You're an iguana dude.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, got it. And they're everywhere. All right. So essentially he. They would travel all around. They were kind of nomadic and they would live in hotels and they would stay in these hotels. And then when they would go to leave, like a couple months later, they would just skip out on the bill.

[Elvis]

And before credit cards existed, I think.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. And that must have been it. Yeah. 78. I think there were credit cards. This was back when women weren't allowed to have their own credit cards.

[Elvis]

Shut your fucking face.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, I swear to God.

[Elvis]

I remember when my mom had credit cards and when she'd go to a place, they had to look her name up in a fucking like. Like yellow pages book of like Visa.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, there's your name to make sure it's legit.

[Elvis]

Just to like, Charge.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Was so different back then.

[Elvis]

Maybe I'm misremembering.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Are you thinking of the phone book?

[Elvis]

They would look in a phone book.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Then they'd call her and be like, is this your credit card?

[Elvis]

This is like two weeks ago. So I'm probably wrong. I'm sorry.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Go on. So, you know, among the things that this group did was they made a large sword for him. Immanuel David. They made a large sword.

[Elvis]

You acted so casual about them. Among the things is that they prayed to, you know, the different God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Nope, nope. They made a big sword. Got it. And he believed, he was declaring now that he was God. He thought he was God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit all in one. Hey, Red flag. You can be one, maybe two. You can't.

[Elvis]

Breakfast burrito. He's just like, I'm breakfast. I'm a burrito.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Throw it in there.

[Elvis]

I'll name everything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Hey, how about some sour cream?

[Elvis]

Yeah, definitely.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So with his sword, he promised to lop off the heads of thousands. So we're not. This isn't a positive cult. This isn't like Sephora. This is bad news.

[Elvis]

He didn't give free samples.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, not at all. He didn't call you muffin when you went in there. That's a true story. It happened to me one time. Okay, so the police and the Mormon Church were keeping an eye on Emmanuel David and his group because he would show up with his followers at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and they wouldn't be violent. There would never be arrests. But he, you know, he was there to, like, tell everybody that he was the real deal.

[Elvis]

He was a presence.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. And of course, he probably brought that sword. And then he. What he would do is he would separate the men in the group from their wives and children, send them off to different cities, give them some kind of a task, like you, you know, you have to go off and preach in Nebraska or whatever. And then he would keep all the women and children around him. Cult leaders love that. That's their big thing, is like, I'm everybody's Daddy. So from 75 to 76, he lived at the Red Lion Inn in Missoula, Montana, while his followers were working elsewhere. Working quotes, air quotes. But then he had a vision. He decided that the followers he had sent away were actually archangels. And he renamed them Michael Raphael and Gabriel.

[Elvis]

Emmanuel.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Then he. He told them that he believed the federal government was about to collapse. And, well, was he wrong? I mean, he was early, that's all. And he promised that he was gonna save the republic and become its new leader. Hey. Hey. So he told them to sell. Now, this is funny, cuz I didn't set this up because I'm reading from the middle of the page. He told them to sell their karate studio.

[Elvis]

Wait, what?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I forgot. I skipped a paragraph. And now I've misled.

[Elvis]

She did the thing that every cult leader does and every religious. He says, sell your karate studio.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They always try to get you away from your karate studio.

[Elvis]

I'm sorry, Chip Chop karate studio will not be sold.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You've got to stand by that karate studio.

[Elvis]

Chip Chop.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Chip chop.

[Elvis]

That was the first thing that came to mind.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you did karate hands while you said that.

[Elvis]

I did fucking chip chip.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And a chop Basically, Stephen's on the ground. So essentially, he was basically saying, you have to dedicate your life to me. You have these other. You have there. You have real jobs. You're kind of still trying to hold it down in normal society, break ties and give me the money, go to work in other cities.

[Elvis]

And later days, latter days.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Come on.

[Elvis]

I'm sorry I interrupted you, but that was pretty. At first I thought, later days, then. But then I was like, latter days.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's right.

[Elvis]

Later days, latter days.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I see. And then you put them together.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Do you see that?

[Karen Kilgariff]

And. But first you held your finger up like you had a great secret to tell me.

[Elvis]

Because I couldn't listen anymore until I said that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, no, I can't listen. No, it was good. Look, okay, this is just all. A year later, he gets the archangels to come back. And. And he says that he has found the tablets that the Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith claimed to have found. And read.

[Elvis]

That's Joseph Smith happen upon them.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, he says he found them. So once they get back to Salt Lake, he doesn't have tablets. But when they all meet together, he says, I am the tablets. Now we're right. Now we're into the bad. Imagine the feeling in your stomach. You're one of those archangels. Like, you're in it, you're loving it, and then suddenly it's like, dude, you're what? You're not tablets.

[Elvis]

That's not a thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This isn't good.

[Elvis]

You just, like, you cross the line of things. I can believe.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, but not. But once you're in, you're in. And you have to kind of keep on playing along because you've already grown out your matching ponytail or whatever they had to do. I can't find any information about this cult.

[Elvis]

You're just like, well, I did this thing and I thought this was correct, and so I have to keep going with it, otherwise.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes, exactly. Well. And a lot of them were his family members, so they were like, we love him and we believe in all his promises.

[Elvis]

They said, he's not a bad guy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's just his ponytail is bad. So. All right, here's the long and the short of it is the government is investigating this guy because they keep. He is being investigated for wire fraud and other frauds, assorted frauds.

[Elvis]

It's like a See's candy box of fraud.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He's dark chocolate with almonds with no caramel.

[Elvis]

Oh, gross. And you bite. Why is this happening?

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is the grossest fraud I could have gotten.

[Elvis]

Grosses. Where's the Bordeaux bar?

[Karen Kilgariff]

What's the one you can't have of the seas Candy box.

[Elvis]

I don't like that one. But I also. Oh, the nougat.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You don't like nougat?

[Elvis]

The white nougat with the nut.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, with the chewy.

[Elvis]

With the chewing and the. And the eating. Yes. I hate it. No, for real, though, it is chew. It's too much chewing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a lot of chewing.

[Elvis]

Nougat yourself. Nougat.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I disagree. I'm as new as nougat's that compatriot or did you go yourself, yes or no?

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay. We're opposite. We should split.

[Elvis]

We are not opposite. We are made for each other.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We're made for each other, honey. Except for I can't eat sugar anymore.

[Elvis]

Okay, one fact.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So in. In all of the ways he's broken the law, in all of the mint patty ways and all of the molasses chip ways, he's done it all. And so what he does. So they've been living in the International Dunes Hotel in Salt Lake City for a year. This is a $90 a day hotel. They are living in a suite. It's him and his wife Rebecca.

[Elvis]

Yes or no? When you were a kid, that would have sounded amazing, right? Living in a hotel.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Elvis]

I get to live in a hotel.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It still sounds amazing. That's my favorite.

[Elvis]

I've been in hotels too many times, and I just. They make me sad.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They make me so happy.

[Elvis]

I do love hotel. I run into the bathroom immediately because I want to see the bathroom set up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay. I thought you meant, like, because you had to use it. I just run in there to pee from excitement.

[Elvis]

No, no. I guess you're right. Yeah, you're right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, here. My thing is, they're usually very quiet and the beds are cushy and you can just get into them and watch tv.

[Elvis]

That sounds like my house.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Excuse. I know. But when I do that at my house, which I do a lot, I always feel bad. In a hotel, it's like one request.

[Elvis]

A room that's not by the elevators. There's a travel tip.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Good tip.

[Elvis]

Come on. Sorry.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, no. So they've been. So they've been living in this big hotel in Salt Lake City, the whole family. So he has Emmanuel, has a wife named Rachel, and they have six children. Rebecca, who's five, David, who's six, Joseph, who's eight. Deborah, who's nine. Joshaha, who's 10, and Rachel. Nah, it's J, O, S, H, A, H, A Like Jos. Ha ha.

[Elvis]

Aren't those names from a VC Andrews book? Some book. It's a book that they're from, kind of.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a book that they're from.

[Elvis]

VC Andrews.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Rachel, who's 14, is the oldest, and then Elizabeth, who is 13. So they're all living in this hotel. The government's circling, and so Emmanuel borrows his truck from one of the people whose last name is also David. He drives up to a canyon and commits suicide by putting a hose from the exhaust pipe into the truck cab.

[Elvis]

What a fucking dick.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know, I mean, it is quite selfish because this family that he has every. By all reports of the people that worked at this hotel and people that were anywhere around this family, they completely depended on him. They were like. And they were also a loner family. So they. Aside from the rest of the cult, which was also mostly their family, they didn't talk to people. They didn't interact. And the people that worked in this hotel said that the children were very quiet. They didn't speak unless their father said they could speak. And they didn't use the pool. They didn't, like. They were not loud.

[Patton Oswalt]

They didn't giggle.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And they didn't go to school. They were taught in the hotel room by the parents.

[Elvis]

So they didn't go to the Caribbean and get their groove back, I bet.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Nope. There's gonna be no grooves getting gotten back by the end of this. Quite the opposite. So he kills himself because basically it's like the jig is up, and you can't just. I'm sorry. You just can't stay at hotels and then leave.

[Elvis]

Would he have been fine if he had paid the bill?

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, because there was other fraud. It's just that the articles I was on murderped for the most part on this, and everything is pretty vague. And it sounds like. It's like he was kind of a problem guy, but he left a trail. But he left this trail. And it was basically like, here's how we can get him.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So it was just unpaid bills and wire fraud.

[Elvis]

Al Capone get him on tax evasion. That's right. Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And also, I think he really was ripping these people off when they would join his cult. He was like, you know, it's like, sell your karate studio. Give me the money. And you go to Missoula, Montana, to spread the word. So they're trying to get him. It's the old chip chop. All right. So when Rachel finds out that her husband kills himself, she tells the cops. Well, we don't have any money. I don't have money to pay for the funeral. They realize something's terribly wrong. And three days later, on the morning of August 4th, she. They were staying at the suite on the 11th floor of the International Dunes Hotel, and she walked her children out onto the patio and either threw or pushed all of her children off of the 11th floor of this hotel. So there were people standing on the street below and screaming at her. So one kid hit, and they're like, oh, my God. And they think. At first they think it's an accident, and then it's six children. So it just keeps happening. And they're all screaming at her. And I mean, that part.

[Elvis]

She's fucking Christ.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah. This is why I didn't want to read it before. But, I mean, it's. That kind of. All I can think of is those people who are. You know, there's pedestrians. There were guys that were like, maintenance guys that were fixing the road or something. Who. There's a truck driver.

[Elvis]

Pts Fucking D. Oh, yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's so traumatic.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And. But. And they. She's throwing off the little kids, and the older ones are doing it voluntarily, so it is like a horror movie.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And then at the end, they all start yelling for her to jump off. Like, they go through so much seeing this and. And witnessing it and freaking out that they get really angry.

[Elvis]

They can't feel good about that too. You know, like, they have ptsd, but they also have to live with that. And that's not who most of us think we are. But I understand why at that point you're like, fuck you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Because they're also down where the kids.

[Elvis]

Are hitting and they can't do anything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. They're completely powerless. It's horrifying. And the thing was, they didn't have to even yell that, because that was her plan anyway. And then she jumped off.

[Elvis]

Jesus Christ.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All of her children died except for one, and it was Elizabeth, who was 13, and she had severe brain injury and she was in a hospital. They thought she wasn't gonna live, but then she did, and she got better, you know, enough. They put her in a foster home. And then when she turned 18, she went back and lived with her, who was still in the cult. So the Davids were still an existing religious group. Jesus. And she lives with them now, still believes that her father is going to come back from the dead. She still believes her father is God and believes that everything that happened was exactly what would have happened and says it's what they all Wanted.

[Elvis]

Let's go break her out right now.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She wants to be there.

[Elvis]

No, let's set her free.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She.

[Elvis]

I know, I know. I just am trying to have a.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's a solution that won't work.

[Elvis]

That's awful.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But you're just trying to do something. And I appreciate it. Yeah. It's such a horrible story.

[Elvis]

It's a terrible story.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's terrible. The craziest thing is now they changed the name to the Shiloh Inn. The hotel is still there. You can go there when we do.

[Elvis]

A live show in Utah. Guess where we're staying. Not there. Not fucking there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

People. There are people that go there and stay on the 11th floor intentionally. Oh, my God. There have been reports of hearing laughter coming from the first floor pool area when no one's around. But we know they weren't. They'd never swam.

[Elvis]

Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But still. Maybe it's the idea of they get to have fun now. They're good ghosts. As well as a pinball machine in the game room that spontaneously turns on and starts playing.

[Elvis]

Don't they do that though, to show you how to play? Like.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, that's right. They go into like demo mode.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I believe in ghosts, but it's ghosts.

[Elvis]

But it's actually ghost this time.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But it's ghost this one time. This one time. And yeah, people just hear voices and a lot of people think that this place is haunted. What I think is. Is pretty interesting is Danny Elfman has always been a frequent visitor of this hotel.

[Elvis]

Danny Elfman.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He first started going in 1984.

[Elvis]

He's from Oingo Boingo, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yep. He was touring with Oingo Boingo and he heard the story and stayed on the 11th floor. He always stays on the 11th floor. He wrote Dead Man's Party. Inspired. Inspired by that hotel.

[Elvis]

They have a great old movie, if you can find it, called the Forbidden Zone, made by Oingo buenko in the 80s. That's creepy and fucked up.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And I wonder if maybe it's connected or inspired by.

[Elvis]

Sure.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Also it's believed that he was so fond of his young friends. Oh. Because he had ghost experiences when he was staying there.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Dude.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So that's like. He would go there intentionally.

[Elvis]

I trust a fucking Elfman.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Utah Selfman. I mean, he wrote the Simpsons theme.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Come on. Yeah. He would go to stay there. And he stayed there while he composed the music and lyrics for the night. Nightmare Before Christmas.

[Elvis]

Fuck.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

That's amazing. You just dropped your paper.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I dropped it. As if to say, at least there was one good thing in that story that. Yeah, there's that. So, William, we owe this all to William. This was his hometown murder originally, and it got kicked all the way up to a full grown.

[Elvis]

Too bad William stopped listening and fucking went on a murder spree. When you didn't finish his story, he was so angry.

[Karen Kilgariff]

He was so mad at me.

[Elvis]

He was so pissed.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Thanks, William.

[Elvis]

That was amazing.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

All right, we're back. Karen, any case updates?

[Patton Oswalt]

No case updates, but definitely corrections, of course. So there were altogether seven children, not six children. That was a copy paste error for my, of course, very professional and extensive research that I did 45 minutes before.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We used to record.

[Patton Oswalt]

And also one of the David children, I pronounced his name very strangely. It was actually Joshua. So it was either like a misspelling or whatever. But also the name of the surviving daughter was not Elizabeth. I'm not gonna say her name.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She is.

[Patton Oswalt]

It's unclear where she lives now. And she went through such a horrible thing, you know, like, on a slightly brighter note, Iguana dudes of episode 163 is covered on MFM animated, obviously titled Iguanas and samurai swords. So you can go watch that on the YouTube page, YouTube.com exactlyrightmedia we just.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Love those iguana guys, don't we?

[Patton Oswalt]

We love to reference them. They are, you know, they take up a very large footprint in our culture because they're out on the sidewalk showing off their lizards.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah. And I want. And is it just a 90s thing? I don't know. Or 80s 90s? It feels like a specific 90s thing for sure.

[Patton Oswalt]

So, yes, it was a real. Before the Internet and phones, it was.

[Karen Kilgariff]

A great way to break the ice.

[Patton Oswalt]

When you were just kind of standing outside of a restaurant somewhere.

[Elvis]

Right.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Hey, man, I like your goatee and your iguana. And your iguana's goatee.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, let's talk about all this facial hair.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

So much to talk about. Also, I want to say, during the original story, I asked if the Church of Latter Day Saints has a catchphrase like, just do it or I'm loving it, which I can't believe I said that.

[Patton Oswalt]

So funny.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And it turns out while no organized religion has an official catchphrase.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wait, but it's like, what I thought Catholics was.

[Patton Oswalt]

Amen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Ours is like the chosen ones, bitches. The LDS Church commonly uses the phrase choose the right, especially with youth groups. But I think Later Days, Latter Days, Way better is maybe some of my best work ever.

[Patton Oswalt]

Like, I think you've done some of your Most brilliant comedy around the Church of Latter Day Saints. Word play. And I don't know why, but isn't that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Live it, love it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Learn to levitate. Wasn't that off of some story we were telling about a Mormon?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

No, I think it was my birthday and you were like, what are you gonna do this year, Georgia? But there's some Mormon stuff going on for me for sure, that I, you know, I'm just. I take it so lightly. The Mormon religion.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You really do.

[Patton Oswalt]

You'll regret that later. And you're 23.andMe clone has to work for all Mormons.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I mean, where I grew up, literally, we were the only Jewish family and there was. There's one Mormon family and that was like, it. So, like, I don't have a lot of experience there.

[Patton Oswalt]

Everyone else was bright orange Christian.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Everyone else. Wasps.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wasps.

[Patton Oswalt]

Waspy. I was gonna say we have. And it's such a, I think, an indicator of what we do and how we do it. One of the most horrible stories, of course, we've ever talked about. Truly, though, the sidebar jokes, some of the funniest we've been conversationally. I think I was laughing out loud where I was like, oh, I get.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Why people like us. I get it. I get it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Because we're actually.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

I also get why they were mad a little. The people who didn't like us were mad.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I get that, of course.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But also they're wrong, so it's okay. But yeah, we were a lot more lighthearted during the stories back then than we are now.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes. We thought the room that we were in had two people in it. And the room that we were in had, at that time, I believe, 40 million people in it. So we were gonna get some detractors and some people who, like, touristed in and said, you have no right. And they're right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They were right.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, sure. Yep.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

They choose the right. They're like Mormons. Anyway.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

So now let's get into Georgia's story, the Tylenol poisonings.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Oof. One of my favorites.

[Georgia Hardstark]

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[Elvis]

Karen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Elvis]

Let's go back to Chicago.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay.

[Elvis]

Which we're going to next week. Yay. In 1982. Metropolitan. Metropolitan area. Which is such an 80s term, isn't it? I don't know why metropolitan makes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

All the buildings are all staggered.

[Elvis]

Yeah. And it's like it expands upon it. Whatever the fuck. This is the time before tamper proof seals and pills were sold with just a cotton ball tucked underneath the lid. So you went and bought aspirin or whatever the fuck, and you just opened it. And maybe it had been opened before and maybe it hadn't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

There was no childproofing on as you opened it. And there was no silver foil.

[Elvis]

None.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You could open it and then do whatever you wanted and close it back up. And guess what?

[Elvis]

If you were old, babies could open it. Yeah. This is. This is the 8. This is 82. So it's before there were like a child. One of the things where they can't open the drawers and stuff. You have to childproof your home when you're baby. Yeah, yeah. This is before that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

When the 80s were like, just eat it all.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This was when they used to sell baby knives. Remember that? Where it was just like your. You could get your baby a really cute knife that they could just hold.

[Elvis]

Yes, I remember that. I still have mine.

[Patton Oswalt]

Do you?

[Karen Kilgariff]

With your initials on it. And two ducks. Oh.

[Elvis]

Oh, my God.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That is the cutest painting. I have to say. My mom saved it. One of my diaper pins.

[Elvis]

Oh, yeah, you had. You had safety pins.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Safety pins on diapers. Cloth diapers and safety pins.

[Elvis]

Gross and dangerous.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The safety pin itself was humongous and so sharp and cute.

[Elvis]

So the baby would be like, I want to play with that. What the. How are we? How did we survive?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean.

[Elvis]

All right, so let's talk. Let's start with. I'm gonna do it. Kind of a timeline thing. Because it's like one and a half days of a shit show. Okay, so 1982, September 29th. The first thing to happen is that Mary Kellerman, who is a 12 year old from Elk Grove Village, Illinois, wakes up feeling sick. Her parents are like, you can stay home from school. They give her some Tylenol to make her feel better. She goes in the bathroom to take it. Moments later, she collapses on the floor. She's rushed to the hospital. I know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry. How old was she?

[Elvis]

She's 12.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She's exactly the same age as me. Sorry. Because I was just thinking of like, it's 82. I'm 12.

[Elvis]

Oh, I thought you meant right now. You were pretending to be 12. That's how old I am. I did get carded over the weekend, so.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Old school. Did you?

[Elvis]

And I was like, I know you're joking, but you.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I. We went to button mash and the guy was carting everybody else. And then he looked at me and I just shook my head no. And he started laughing and opened the door for me.

[Elvis]

Vince does that too. He, he, he goes, he like gestures a. Come on, dude.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it's not, I'm not trying to.

[Elvis]

How good is their food there, by the way? But mash.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, he didn't eat.

[Elvis]

Oh, it's good.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Elvis]

No, the place is great. She wakes up feeling sick. Sweet Mary is pronounced dead at 9:56am Next comes Adam Janis. He's a 27 year old poster worker in Arlington Heights. Takes a sick day, doesn't feel good. He picks up his kids from school, stops on the way home at the Jewel, which I guess is a thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's like their cvs.

[Elvis]

Yeah. And gets some Tylenol. And he says to his wife, I'm gonna take some Tylenol and lay down. A couple minutes later, comes staggering into the kitchen and he dies at 3:15pm At 3:45pm, Mary, quote, Lynn Reiner, who's 27, is at home in Winfield. She had just given birth to her fourth child. So she's home recuperating. She's not feeling good. So she takes some Tylenol that she had been given and brought home from the hospital after giving birth. This is weird. We'll talk about it later. She, she. Yeah. So she takes those and then moving on to 5pm so this woman name Nurse Helen Jensen, who is the badass of the story, she's a public health nurse for Arlington Heights. And the, the Janice family, remember earlier, Adam, who was the poster worker, had come in, the whole, the whole family, the whole Adam family. Oh, shit. Elvis is gonna vomit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, okay.

[Elvis]

Yeah, that's. Welcome to my life. It was gross, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, I had pots. That's all they do.

[Elvis]

I know. Okay, so, so the, the whole Janice family is there. Adam dies and so they all go back to his house to like to figure out what they're gonna do and start mourning and planning the funeral. And Adam's younger brother Stanley, he has chronic back pains. His wife Teresa gets him some Tylenol. She comes, she gives him two Tylenol. She comes back and took two Tylenols while she had a headache. They both go down oh my God, the brother, they go. What are the chances they went back to his house where he had fucking fallen. 6:30pm In a store in Lombard, Illinois, Mary McFarlane, a 31 year old resident of Elmhurst, tells her coworker she has a headache. She goes in the back room, takes a couple Tylenol and within minutes she hits the floor. 8:15pm, Stanley Janice, who's Adam's brother from earlier, is pronounced dead. 3:15am Mary McFarland's pronounced dead. 9:30 in the morning, Mary Reiner is pronounced dead. So everyone's fucking taking the shit and dying within hours at 1:15, Teresa Janice, the wife of Stanley, dead. So at 5:00 the next day, police discover the body of Paula Prince in her Old Town apartment. Old Town is the town. The night before she. So she is a flight attendant. The night before she lands, she's a 35 year old woman. She stops at Walgreens because she has a headache to buy some Tylenol. There's a surveillance video of this and some, some photographs from it like that you can see online. She's not heard from for a couple days. So the cops get sent there. The bottle of Tylenol is sitting open on her vanity and like she's steps away and collapsed. So Nurse Jensen, who we were talking about, the badass motherfucker, says, I found a bottle of Tylenol and there were six capsules missing and three people were dead. In my mind it had to be something to do with the Tylenol. And of, of course there was no protective sealing on this or any over the counter drugs. They just had cotton tucked in there. So I went back to the hospital and we took the bottle with us and I said, this is the cause. And of course nobody would believe me and I stamped my feet. They said, oh no, it couldn't be. It couldn't be. Like they had not pieced these things together yet. But I think once, once the brother and sister in law of one of the deceased died in the same home, they realized something was going on. Yeah, so the investigator named Pichos sees that the Tylenol bottles all have the same control numbers on them. Meaning they're coming from the same plant. He lets the medical examiner know and the deputy medical examiner named Donahue tells him to smell the bottles and he, he smells inside of them and he smells that telltale sign of cyanide, that almond. What were you gonna say?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Bubble gum. Just kidding.

[Elvis]

Because you seemed so adamant, you lifted your finger.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No, I knew, but then I. But I wanted to have fun with it.

[Elvis]

Go ahead. So cyanide has a strong smell of almonds or bubble gum because, you know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

In stone fruit, any kind of pit in anything, right. There is a little bit of cyanide.

[Elvis]

And if you eat enough. Enough stuff.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, but you couldn't really ever eat enough because it's so hard to eat but digest.

[Elvis]

And if it breaks down. Right.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes. But I think it's because I had it. You know how I know this is. I had one of those crazy blenders. What's it called? Vitamix, where you can stick everything in it.

[Elvis]

Vitamix.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, a Vitamix. And they're saying, like in apple seeds.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Or, you know, like that. There's cyanide in there.

[Elvis]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But it's. It's a tiny, tiny, tiny trace amount. But there's also tons of vitamins in there. So that when you can throw everything into a blender, you get way more vitamins.

[Elvis]

You know what else vitamin or vitamins are in? Vitamins?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, yeah. You can just take some vitamins.

[Elvis]

Just fucking take some vitamins.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Not related. Kind of related. I once. Never mind.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

I once ate watermelon rind to make myself throw up so I didn't have to go to Hebrew school.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh. Did it work?

[Elvis]

It did.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, good.

[Elvis]

Yep. And here we are.

[Karen Kilgariff]

If only you had studied your Hebrew.

[Elvis]

Better, Really, I mean, what would have happened?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I don't know. Married a nice Hebrew.

[Elvis]

Okay. I mean, we can go deep into this. Let's not do it. So he smells almonds. And the medical examiner said that how lucky he was because only 50% of the or half the population can actually smell the almonds and cyanide, which is terrifying and amazing. Right. And it turns out that the Tylenol pills were laced with potassium cyanide at a level toxic enough to provide thousands of fatal doses. So each one had thousands. So the reason they fucking hit the ground immediately is there was so much.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It was like they were overdosed.

[Elvis]

Way overdosed. Jesus. So at 3:15, Mary McFarland dies. 9:30 in the morning, Mary Reiner dies. Did I already say that? I might have. And so the pills had all come from different plants, supposedly, and had bought. It had been bought at different Chicago stores. So the police thought that a single person had bought all the pills at different places, tampered with them, and then returned them to the different stores. So on Tuesday, October 5, which is not shortly after Johnson and Johnson recalls all Tylenol products nationwide.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I remember this.

[Elvis]

Do you remember this?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, Yeah. I was 12. It was on the news. It was the craziest thing in the world. In our house. I think my parents bought Bayer.

[Elvis]

Yeah. But they threw it all away.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They were like. It was just a whole. I mean, I remember standing in the living room and watching it on the news.

[Elvis]

And these are so. Everyone should know. These are the capsules that you get that you can open up and there's powder inside of them. These are. That's what these are. So it's not like, you know, the, like, gel caps you get today or anything. Like, so anyone could open them up, whatever they want in them. There's no seal on any of this, so.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And there was also a very famous commercial at the time and maybe a little bit earlier for contact cold medicine.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And in the commercial, some fingers pull apart a contact pill.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

What?

[Karen Kilgariff]

And all the little beads inside the pill fall out. And then it talks about all the benefits of this contact.

[Elvis]

Holy shit. It's like, here, look what you can do.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, it's. It feels to me like that that was. It was in the consciousness, if not exactly.

[Elvis]

Well, someone who is up and evil. See, like some. One person puts that together, you know, like, the majority of people who see that don't think how easy it is to poison people.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Elvis]

So. So Johnson and Johnson recalls all Tylenol products. People fucking lose their minds in panic. 31 million bottles valued at more than $100 million of Tylenol products are removed from shelves nationwide.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's crazy.

[Elvis]

Nationwide and Chicago police go through the streets with loudspeakers warning residents of the dangers of taking Tylenol.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, my God.

[Elvis]

And the thing about this is Johnson and Johnson was totally on board with this. They were the ones who fucking were like. Like, yes. You know, because this was back when.

[Karen Kilgariff]

People cared about human beings, right?

[Elvis]

When they were like, how much money is that going to make me lose if I ever call this car? It's. We'll just pay that. It's not worth a lawsuit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, it's not worth it. I don't need another boat.

[Elvis]

No. And if the lawsuit happens, our insurance will just pay it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But also, have you ever. I don't know if there's anything else that's ever happened like this where it's like recalls on cars or one thing where you're like, yeah, take your car in or whatever.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But, like, I don't remember anything like this ever happening.

[Elvis]

Like a panic of a thing that everyone has in their home and then.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No one used again for years and years and Years.

[Elvis]

And they knew that was gonna happen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

So. All right. I wrote such an 80s thing that. Oh, the. The driving through the streets with loudspeakers, that was such an 80s thing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's like, Blues Brothers, vote for Mayor, whatever the fuck. Yep. It's. Yeah. Back to the Future. Goldie, Goldie, Goldie, Goldie.

[Elvis]

Mayor Goldie. I'm gonna be mayor. Okay. So. All right. So I, I, I wrote this whole thing about the guy who they suspected was. Who they still there. It's still suspected. He's. No one was ever fucking arrested.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

No one was ever arrested. A man writes a letter to tylenol manufacturer in October 1982. So, like, a month or two later, demanding $1 million to, quote, stop the killings. The letters are traced back to a tax consultant named James, whose name I don't want to say because he's never. He was never arrested and he was never convicted. And I'm scared of people.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, and also is if it's such a nightmare, because if just by chance, it really wasn't him, but then everybody thinks it was, and that's horrifying.

[Elvis]

Totally. And I wrote all these things that were like, it was clearly him. But then something happened the moment you got to my apartment, and I had a fucking study, so. This guy James had been charged in 1978 in Kansas City of the murder of A murder after police found the remains of one of his former clients in his attic. Oh, attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Attic. Sounds so wrong to me. But the charges were dropped.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's attic.

[Elvis]

Attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

There's no D at attic. There you are.

[Elvis]

Attic. Did I say it right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Now it sounds. Now it makes no sense to me. We've said it too many times.

[Elvis]

Attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Attic.

[Elvis]

Attic. Attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

When you do it on the stage.

[Elvis]

Attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No one says it like that, though.

[Elvis]

At. Tick.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Up in the attic.

[Elvis]

Okay. Up in the attic.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No tea. I know.

[Elvis]

I just can't. Charges are dropped after a judge rules that the police search of his home was illegal. So, like, wait, so they find a.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Body, but it's still. They vacate the.

[Elvis]

Yep. They went in without a search warrant. A judge is like, like, sorry, yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You can't do that.

[Elvis]

So when he. So they, they trace this. This letter saying he wants a million back to this dude James. And James gives him a detailed account of how the killer might have operated and described how someone could buy medicine, use a special method to add cyanide to the capsules and return them to store shelves. Like, he tells them how it could be done, but he thinks, he says he's innocent. And what actually he was doing was when he asked for the 1 million, he gave the bank information for a former employer. And he wanted to embarrass that man and send the money to his bank account and like frame him for it. Oh yeah, but he is. They don't think it's him, but he's charged with extortion and sentenced to 20 years in prison just for that fucking letter. Released in 95. Oh God, is this getting boring? Okay, they reopened the investigation in February 2009. They search his fucking house. They don't think it's him. There's not enough evidence to charge him. Okay, but here's where this gets interesting and where I last left off. Two words for you, Ted Kaczynski. One more word. Unabomber. So the Unabomber has some weird connections to this, okay. That I really fucking love. And it's, it's so far fetched and crazy, but I love this shit. So I looked at a map of where all the locations were in Chicago. And the map that most made sense led back to where Ted Kaczynste's family is from. It was within 20 minutes of the tampering sites. At the epicenter of the fucking tampering.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Sites is where his family's from. Yeah.

[Elvis]

All the lines lead back to fucking. The parents house. And in the, in that year, 1982, Kaczynski's bombs were calculated to commit mass and indiscriminate murder. He had let a bomb off in 1980 on an airline. And a 1981 firebomb at the University of Utah. And in 1982, a fire bomb at the UC Berkeley. So he was active as fuck at this time. And his family is from 20 minutes of where all of these places where they were bought.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And he had stated his motive was a desire to destroy the public's faith in the technological industrial system. And in his manifesto, he expressed a dislike for the manufacturer of drugs and pills.

[Karen Kilgariff]

The Unabomber said that?

[Elvis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So we're done here.

[Elvis]

No, we're not.

[Karen Kilgariff]

We know. Okay.

[Elvis]

Okay. But want to hear something even cooler that I love? This is so cool. And I had a. I had to check a lot of. I had a, I had a dig for this information and it didn't. I mean, this was hours of research before I found this information. This is from unizod.com u n a Z-O-Dot.com which specifically highlights the link between the Unabomber and the Zodiac killer. Oh, I know. Which is Like. But it's also like, what? So the Unabomber has an obsession with Wood specifically. I know two of his victims were Percy Wood and Leroy Wood Bearson. And the founders of Johnson and Johnson Co. Were named Robert Wood Johnson and James Wood Johnson. I'm sorry. That's crazy, right? Or am I being okay? All right, so. I don't know. I just think he did it. They think he's giving a clue to his location. This is a thing he does is, like, give weird clues and, like, how the Zodiac Killer does as well. And then there was also a Tylenol murder in Sheridan, Wyoming, and this was, like, 15 minutes from Kaczynski's house before all this happened. Yeah, I don't know. It just fucking. It all adds up to this guy to fucking talk to Ted Kaczynski.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So wait, the other. But the other guy you believe was just trying to embarrass his boss.

[Elvis]

He was definitely a crook and a con man. And initially I was like, clearly, this is the guy. But when I started reading more into this, it doesn't. It. There's no MO of the Tylenol murders that make sense unless they were focusing on one specific victim and trying to hide it by killing a bunch of other people. But none of that adds up to the actual people who got killed. There's nobody that they can pinpoint.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Whereas Ted Kaczynski, clearly, it's like, it's all kind of laid out there.

[Elvis]

Yeah. The motive is that he was an anarchist, insane person who wanted to companies and the government and whoever got in the way and whatever the victims were, were just par for the course.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, because he was trying to seed, like, that panic and that, like, basic sabotage, unrest.

[Elvis]

Yeah, totally. And so there's a lot of weird, like, weird similarities. And also, I mean, I know that the fucking Zodiac Killer shit sounds weird, but there's a lot of. There's a lot of instances of when he was in the time and the place, and there's evidence of him in these places and times.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Ted Kaczynski.

[Elvis]

Yeah. When Zodiac was active.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Wow.

[Elvis]

I know. And that's when Georgia went crazy.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You were on the Internet for 12 hours, and all of a sudden you're like. And the other thing is that Ted Kaczynski is also a Bigfoot, which is gonna sound weird when I first say it.

[Elvis]

Tell me more.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But there is.

[Elvis]

So there's this photo of the woman who was. The woman who was a. An airline. A stewardess. There's. She picks up her medic, her Tylenol She's a headache. There's a man in the aisle on the surveillance camera looking at her directly.

[Karen Kilgariff]

No.

[Elvis]

And he has receding hairline and a beard. Which. Both. Fucking both. Both dudes. Ted Kaczynski and this other guy both look like that. They both look like that. It looks more like Ted Kaczynski to me, honestly. But he's someone who would claim responsibility for it, so it's kind of weird. Okay, so in May 83, Congress approved. Bless you. Do you want some Tylenol? Are you okay?

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm just gonna lay down for a second.

[Elvis]

And here. X's for eyes, button nose for eyes. Okay. Congress enacts the fucking Tylenol bill. Everyone has to fucking.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Was it called the Tylenol bill?

[Elvis]

Oh, in 83, they have to. You have to pull shit off of your fucking pills before you take them. The. In 89, the FDA sets national requirements for all over the counter products to be tamper resistant. So that's the why. That's. That's. That's the why.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You've always been looking for that why. Here it is.

[Elvis]

And here it is the why. So. But there's no. No, there's nobody. It's just a bunch of people got fucking killed from taking a fucking aspirin. And there's insufficient evidence to charge anyone and no new or promising leads as of 2015. I. There's nothing. I looked for everything. There's nothing new since then.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know what's awful about that is the panic. How horrible. Like, those cops must have been going crazy and like those detectives, like it was. They had to be everywhere at once. It's like, it's not one victim in one place. It's like. And basically in all these neighborhoods around metropolitan Chicago, dropping.

[Elvis]

So like, clearly the person who did this is in this area and you can't find them. And what I always think about is how awful it must be for those cops for weeks to go by. And the more they keep taking people off the case and keep doing. And like suddenly there's five people on this case when there used to be a hundred.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, that's it.

[Elvis]

What are they gonna do?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, there's nothing they can do. And when your leads dry up, it's just like, oh, and there's no. It's not like people were like doing something to a tamper proof package. It's like they suddenly realize anyone could be doing this at any time to any product.

[Elvis]

It could be any of the family members of the people who died. It could be any of the co workers of the people whose fucking relatives died. Yeah, it could be some rando. To me, it makes the most sense that it's some fucking anarchist. Fuck the government.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It makes a lot of sense, dude.

[Elvis]

Who sends in the mail bombs to blow up in people's faces. Yeah, I know this sounds crazy, but the Wood. He was obsessed with wood and all things Wood. And the. When I saw the Johnson and Johnson's middle name was Wood, I lost my mind.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But when you say. When you were saying he was obsessed with all things wood, then you gave the example of the names. But was he also. Was it like other things?

[Elvis]

Like, yeah, there were a lot of weird. Weird, like, wood types and trees and like, really weird. Like he. He was really into, like, Earth, Wind and Fire. Like, in the same way the Zodiac had his. What's it called?

[Karen Kilgariff]

The letter.

[Elvis]

The, like the. The lettering.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, oh, the. The puzzle that he.

[Elvis]

The puzzles, yeah. Cryptogram. Ted Kaczynski left a lot of clues in the things he did on purpose.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay.

[Elvis]

To kind of with people. And they liked to see it. And Wood was one of his things.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, my God.

[Elvis]

So they were this. In this.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Andy lived out in that weird cabin?

[Elvis]

Yeah, he did.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

And. Which is by 15 minutes from where the first guy who died of a cyanide poisoning from Tyle, from Tylenol died.

[Karen Kilgariff]

You know what?

[Patton Oswalt]

Case closed.

[Elvis]

I'm sorry.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I'm sorry.

[Elvis]

And I just want to go ahead and again give shout outs to Unizod because, oh, yeah, these dudes. I mean, I would. I would. There's nothing in any of the news reports that connect these things. There's also two cops who got poisoned the night before any of this started because they found boxes of Tylenol from a manufacturer with powder in the middle. They rubbed the powder on their fingers and they got sick, which makes it seem like it didn't actually. The guy didn't just go into fucking drugstores and pull this. Like, he actually had a connection to the manufacturer.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Elvis]

Which, of course, Johnson and Johnson wouldn't want to admit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, and also, what if you were the PR person for Johnson and Johnson or for, like, that product specifically? Your life is, like, now just constant living. That is a. I mean, obviously an incredible tragedy and just like a random awful. People dropping dead is just the worst, obviously.

[Elvis]

Totally.

[Karen Kilgariff]

But then on top of that, you have to get out in front of, like, the worst PR nightmare, kind of next to like, the Exxon Valdez or something, where it's just like, oh, this is just. Just massive tragedy.

[Elvis]

Thinking about how many. You know, how many people who are 30 and under who listen to this, who don't know any of these references we're making.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, they can look it up. I mean, what. We can't carry the world on our goddamn back.

[Elvis]

We can't be everything for any millennial. Every millennial.

[Karen Kilgariff]

They. If they want to, they'll find out about it.

[Elvis]

Okay. It's pretty fucking cool, right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's great. I. You know what's super weird? I thought the. I thought the Tylenol poisonings. I remember reading something somewhere where it was a husband and wife.

[Elvis]

There was a woman who ended up shooting two people who they suspected could be. She was in that area at the time. She was very mentally ill. Oh, okay. And they looked into her and her husband. But the guy, the other guy I mentioned, his wife also might have been. They suspected was complicit in it. But it. There was no. There was never anything tying them back. And don't you wonder about, like, when they pulled those Tylenol bottles from those fucking houses? Like, the fucking fingerprints that could have been on them that then were ruined because everyone touched them.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's right.

[Elvis]

Nurse, though, man, they didn't know.

[Karen Kilgariff]

She knew.

[Elvis]

Fucking high fives to her.

[Karen Kilgariff]

High fives to nurses who are the ones that, you know, they're the. They're. They're the brains behind it all.

[Elvis]

They're the badass motherfuckers of the medical fucking world. Bamf, I want you to get that.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Put on the back of a leather vest, and then just ride your motorcycle.

[Elvis]

All around town doing it. It's a moped. Is that okay?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay. I mean, it's not.

[Elvis]

It's fake leather. Is that all right?

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, as long as you gun the engine and stuff. This has been a wonderful episode.

[Elvis]

Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I mean, in terms of tragedy.

[Elvis]

I'm sweating. Karen, what's one good thing that happened to you this week? I know, I know. I like that we don't think about this, because it has to be something. Boom, boom, boom. Think about it. What is it? No, don't.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What's one good thing that's happened this week? I mean, it's been a tough one.

[Elvis]

And it will continue to be.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I guess it has to be different than my. Than anything I've said already. One good thing. Why don't you go first? You.

[Elvis]

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Okay. Ow. I guess. Jesus Christ.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yeah, right?

[Elvis]

It's all I can think about is food.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, well, that's good. That's valid.

[Elvis]

Oh. Oh, Westworld, huh? That's a good show. That's helped me.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yep. Okay. I see nothing.

[Elvis]

There's nothing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Westworld counts.

[Elvis]

Okay.

[Karen Kilgariff]

What did you think of another one?

[Elvis]

No, I mean tattoos that people are getting of my favorite murder shit.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, that's fun. Mine would be the show that I did last night at Largo that was really awesome. And it was me blank a patch. It was Patton Oswald's night, so it was Patton Oswald in front, Bobcat Goldthwait. And then Fred Armisen was just hanging out because he was in town, so I had him come on stage. Oh. First of all, I should say this. My set started. They introduced me. This one woman started screaming. And then as the applause died down, she screamed murderino so loudly. Like, so loudly. I was like, you've had seven beers. Like, it was one of those kind of things where it was like, she didn't know I was on the show. Cause they don't ever advertise who's doing it.

[Elvis]

Oh, that's cool.

[Karen Kilgariff]

So I think she was just, like, so delighted. I don't mean to accuse her of being drunk, but it seems like she was.

[Elvis]

It was me, Karen.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, was it? Oh, my God.

[Patton Oswalt]

That was so supportive.

[Karen Kilgariff]

I literally already know. It was really funny, though. She was really excited. But then, as I told you at the end of my set, I had Fred come out and pretend he was my comedy coach. And we just did a bit that we didn't even. It wasn't even like we made. We just said, that's what we're gonna do. And then we just kind of improv'd it, and it was really funny.

[Elvis]

That's amazing.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It made me feel much better.

[Elvis]

I wish I had been there.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Next time.

[Elvis]

Next time you'll tell. I wish I knew about.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, you can't ever get into Largo shows.

[Elvis]

Like, it's I can't ever. Or, oh, other people can't ever.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Oh, well, yeah, I just never think of inviting people because it's. They're always so nice.

[Elvis]

No, I'm kidding. I can't get in to anything.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Well, what I realize now is I can get you in.

[Elvis]

I'm like Mart Arena.

[Karen Kilgariff]

That's why I don't ask you to come anymore.

[Elvis]

If you guys would go to itunes in. In your sadness and grief and just fucking leave us a review, that might help.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It might make you feel better.

[Elvis]

Maybe it'll make you feel better. Thank you guys for listening and being fucking cool people.

[Karen Kilgariff]

And you know what?

[Elvis]

Stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Bye.

[Elvis]

Bye, Elvis. Want a cookie? You want a cookie? Cookie?

[Karen Kilgariff]

He said yes.

[Elvis]

Bye. Yeah.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Okay, so, horrible story.

[Patton Oswalt]

Do you have updates on the Tylenol poisonings?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

It is such a horrible story. And of course, I love it even more because it still remains unsolved. It feels so solvable to me, and I am almost convinced it's Ted Kaczynski still. But there are a couple of recent developments. In November 2024, there was a collaboration between law enforcement and a biotech firm in Texas. And they have hope that access to new DNA technology could solve this case, which seems very likely to me.

[Patton Oswalt]

Unless, of course, everyone takes it down.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Takes their.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Oh, right, never mind.

[Karen Kilgariff]

This is the biotech that like people. It's like you want to know who.

[Patton Oswalt]

Your relatives are and you want to help solve cold cases, but then Blackrock will sell your identity to the outer space or whatever.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Okay, well, in an alternative 2025, where things are okay.

[Elvis]

Yes.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

It's getting solved.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

So whoever's there right now, please, like, send us a telepathic message.

[Patton Oswalt]

Please tell us it's going to be okay.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

James Lewis, one of the main suspects in the poisonings, died in July of 2023. And the badass Helen Jensen, the now retired nurse who figured out it was the Tylenol that was killing people, which is so incredible. And she did it so fast the same day.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Yes.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

She prevented so many people from dying.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes, she did.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

She told the AP that she hoped that Lewis's death would be the final coda to a tragedy that has haunted her and the victim's families, of course, for four decades. She said, quote, his death is a conclusion. Not necessarily the conclusion everyone wanted, but it is an end. I'm 86 now, and I'm glad I got to see the end before I die. End quote. So it seems like she probably thinks that he. He did it.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Right.

[Patton Oswalt]

It would be so horrible if he didn't, though, that, you know, that thing of just like. Then just the name goes around and.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Yeah, but he. I mean, he pointed at himself about it, too. I mean, who knows what was going.

[Karen Kilgariff]

On with that guy, Right?

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

There's also a documentary, a CNN original series documentary called how it really Tylenol Murders that you can go check out, that will tell you the whole story. If you didn't think. I did a great job of it, which is, like, fun.

[Patton Oswalt]

I think you did a wonderful job.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Thank you.

[Patton Oswalt]

I think this was a wonderful episode. Me, too. Originally entitled In Arrears, which was about somebody working at the WGA who helped me with my union payments that I was in arrears on, which means in arrears means debt.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

You're in debt.

[Patton Oswalt]

Behind, Behind.

[Elvis]

Got it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Elvis]

Never.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Never heard it.

[Patton Oswalt]

You owe some payments, your interviewers.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

But if we were naming it today, I do think it's a good one because it taught me that word and I appreciate that.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, maybe today it should be are you an iguana, dude? One of the great lines of Georgia's of all time.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Thank you. There's also dry cry because I can't cry. So you offered the suggestion that I dry cry, which is I can totally do. It's a great idea.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Just get your face going and then see what happens. Also, 25 Davids is not a bad name either for this episode or for a band.

[Elvis]

I love it.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Oh, my God.

[Patton Oswalt]

I told you this at least three times before, but there was graffiti on the highway overpass in Sacramento that I used to drive by all the time that said too many Daves. And it was a band.

[Elvis]

That's so good.

[Patton Oswalt]

I think it was a punk band or like an alternative band in Sacramento.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Too many Daves.

[Karen Kilgariff]

It's true.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Especially in Sacramento. It's so true.

[Patton Oswalt]

God, there's so many Daves.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

Oh, my God. Well, thank you guys for listening. Thank you, Daves, especially for listening Dave.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thank you so much and stay sexy.

[Nurse Helen Jensen]

And don't get murdered.

[Karen Kilgariff]

Goodbye.

[Elvis]

Goodbye, Elvis. Do you want a cookie?

[Georgia Hardstark]

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