My Friend Daisy: Episode 5 - "Are You Hiding Him?"

Host: Jenn Swan
Producer: Paris Hilton
Release Date: April 16, 2025

Introduction and Background

In Episode 5 of My Friend Daisy, host Jenn Swan delves into the persistent search for Victor, the prime suspect in the murder of 19-year-old Daisy De La O. This episode explores the community's response, fueled by social media platforms like TikTok, and profiles Valerie Panado—a determined woman who takes justice into her own hands.

The Emergence of TikTok as a Community Tool

Jenn Swan begins by illustrating how Daisy's friends and family leveraged TikTok to keep the investigation alive when authorities seemed inactive. The TikTok videos featuring Daisy’s story went viral, prompting amateur detectives from across regions to join the manhunt for Victor.

Key Points:

• Viral Spread: Different TikToks shared Daisy's story with varied music and visuals, amplifying awareness.
• Algorithm Influence: The TikTok "For You Page" played a crucial role in spreading these videos beyond initial viewers, attracting international attention.
• Community Involvement: Comments poured in from various locations, turning the platform into a virtual neighborhood watch.

Notable Quote:

Lolly (Timestamp 05:16): "I didn't find out about her death until I saw it on TikTok. And I was just, like, shocked. I was like, nah, like, it's a lie. And I just got, like, the chills."

Community Reactions and Real-Time Citizen Policing

The episode highlights the shift in how communities respond to violent crimes, especially when traditional media and law enforcement fall short. Social media became a battleground where information was shared rapidly, and community members actively engaged in tracking Victor.

Key Points:

• Immediate Awareness: Friends and neighbors learned about Daisy's murder through TikTok before official channels.
• Collective Vigilance: Locations such as Southern California cities saw an influx of tips and sightings posted online.
• Distrust in Media: Many felt social media was more reliable and immediate compared to traditional news outlets.

Notable Quote:

Lolly (Timestamp 05:47): "TikTok helps with that. Like, one person can post a little clip that they saw, and then it'll go viral. So I feel like, in a sense, TikTok helps more than the news outlets and stuff like that."

Valerie Panado: From Survivor to Vigilante

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Valerie Panado, who transformed her traumatic experiences into a relentless pursuit of justice for Daisy. Valerie’s background, motives, and actions offer a deep dive into the psychology of vigilante justice in the digital age.

Valerie's Background:

• Military School: Valerie credits her fearless nature to the discipline and training received in military school.
• Personal Trauma: Growing up in a household marked by domestic violence and witnessing her grandfather's violent tendencies instilled in her a strong sense of justice.

Key Points:

• Personal Connection: Valerie relates deeply to Daisy’s plight, having endured similar traumas and seeking to prevent others from suffering.
• Proactive Pursuit: Unlike passive grieving, Valerie actively searches for Victor, rallying others to her cause.
• Community Support: Her actions inspired others in the punk community to join the search, though not all responses were positive or cooperative.

Notable Quotes:

Valerie Panado (Timestamp 21:09): "I started investing my time to, you know, get her justice, basically."

Valerie Panado (Timestamp 22:18): "I would tell other people, too. Like, hey, you want to meet up and look for him? I'd be so down. I feel like street justice works better than the actual system."

Challenges and Ethical Dilemmas of Vigilantism

Jenn Swan navigates the complexities surrounding citizen-led investigations. While community involvement can drive breakthroughs, it also raises questions about safety, legality, and the potential for escalating violence.

Key Points:

• Safety Risks: Valerie's aggressive approach puts her and others in potential harm.
• Impact on Official Investigation: Vigilantism can both aid and hinder law enforcement efforts.
• Moral Questions: The episode prompts listeners to consider whether violence is justified in the pursuit of justice and the appropriate channels for such endeavors.

Notable Quote:

Jen Swan (Timestamp 05:10): "But vigilante justice can be a tricky thing, because once you spot the culprit or you know the person that you believe is the culprit, what do you do next? Do you call the cops? Do you alert the media? Or do you roll up your sleeves and deal with it yourself?"

Community Trust and Law Enforcement

A recurring theme is the community’s mistrust of law enforcement, stemming from past negative interactions. This distrust fuels reliance on social media and personal networks to address and solve crimes.

Key Points:

• Pretextual Stops: Valerie shares a negative experience with police, highlighting systemic issues that erode trust.
• Reliance on Social Media: With limited trust in authorities, community members turn to platforms like TikTok for support and action.
• Statistics on Violence: The podcast references CDC data showing that over half of women killed in the U.S. are murdered by a current or former intimate partner, with higher rates among young women of color.

Notable Quote:

Valerie Panado (Timestamp 13:24): "He did not like that. I was telling him, like, how can this car be stolen? Like, he was lying. And I did not like that."

The Human Element: Personal Stories and Emotional Impact

Through interviews with Valerie and others, the episode humanizes the broader issues of violence, trauma, and the quest for justice. Valerie's story exemplifies how personal history and emotional scars drive individuals to take extraordinary actions.

Key Points:

• Generational Trauma: Valerie discusses her family's history of violence and its impact on her psyche.
• Emotional Toll: The relentless pursuit of Victor takes an emotional and physical toll on Valerie, showcasing the sacrifices made in the name of justice.
• Empowerment Through Action: For Valerie, taking action against Victor is a way to reclaim agency and honor Daisy's memory.

Notable Quotes:

Valerie Panado (Timestamp 25:18): "I feel like, yeah, growing up, too, seeing women get beat... It makes you want to... have justice for other women that go."

Valerie Panado (Timestamp 30:58): "I was like, you know what? I'm going to get justice for her, just as I wish somebody would get justice for me."

Conclusion and Reflections

Episode 5 of My Friend Daisy poignantly captures the intersection of personal trauma, community activism, and the digital age's role in seeking justice. Through Valerie Panado’s story, the podcast sheds light on the lengths individuals will go to when traditional systems fail them, raising important questions about the future of community-led investigations and the balance between vigilantism and lawful pursuit.

Jenn Swan wraps up by emphasizing the power of social media in bridging gaps left by conventional media and law enforcement, while also cautioning against the potential dangers of unchecked citizen justice.

Final Thoughts

My Friend Daisy continues to unravel the complexities of Daisy De La O’s murder case, offering listeners an in-depth look at the societal and personal factors that drive a community to seek justice in unconventional ways. Episode 5 serves as a compelling exploration of resilience, the quest for truth, and the fine line between activism and vigilantism.

For More Episodes:
Stay tuned to My Friend Daisy for upcoming episodes that continue to investigate the murder of Daisy De La O and the community's ongoing fight for justice.