Podcast Summary

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Episode: Crockpot Salmonella Soup, White People Still Can't Cook (with Dulce Sloan)
Release Date: February 10, 2026
Host(s): Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Dulce Sloan

Episode Overview

In this hilarious and irreverent episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by Dulce Sloan for a deep dive into the age-old Black conspiracy: "White people can't cook." The trio explores culinary traditions, food safety fears, racial and regional food lore, and the broader social and historical context. Their discussion meanders through personal stories, observations about cultural expression, and plenty of roasting—creating an episode rich in both comedy and cultural commentary.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "White People Can't Cook" – The Conspiracy Explored

(08:22 – 12:05)

• Dulce's Claim: Dulce opens the main topic with conviction, arguing from personal and historical experience that white people, culturally, can't cook, especially when compared to Black culinary traditions.
• European Food History:
  • "If you look at, like, the foods of Europe. A lot of boiling of things." (Dulce, 08:31)
• Cooking Methods:
  • The panel critiques methods like over-boiling, double-boiling, and the use of crock pots. Dulce jokes, "They love a crock pot. That is just a slow boil. Or for me, just a long walk to food poisoning." (Dulce, 09:19)

2. Food Prep, Safety, and Regional Differences

(09:46 – 13:45)

• Dulce sees crock pot culture as dangerous, especially with chicken and concerns about undercooking and sanitation.
• She draws a line between Southern white people (who "learned how to cook from us") and mainstream white American cooking.
• Notable Quote:
  • "How do you take over multiple countries, steal their spices, and then not use them?" (Dulce, 12:15)

3. Black Culinary Pride and Spice Rack Debates

(13:00 – 14:15)

• The group discusses the typical "spice rack" found in new apartments and the mystery of never-used herbs ("majora").
• Dulce and Langston express pride about the completeness of Black spice collections ("If it comes up, we got it." Langston, 13:33).

4. Culinary Crossovers and Southern Traditions

(40:21 – 42:22)

• Dulce points out the overlap of Southern Black and Southern white cooking—collard greens, chitlins, grits—food “of the poor” across color lines.
• Notable Quote:
  • "Poor people food is poor people food." (Dulce, 41:32)

5. Barbecues, Food Memories, and Debates Over Who Paid

(31:02 – 32:50)

• Dulce remembers refusing to attend a barbecue with only hot dogs ("don’t invite me to a barbecue when there’s one pack of hot dogs").
• The group debates what actually happened at the event, with much teasing about "poor barbecues" and mystery fish called "swai."

6. Representation, Media, and Emotional Expression

(48:01 – 51:12)

• Dulce contrasts American TV's portrayals of romance (men as action, women as emotion) with Korean dramas (both genders’ feelings portrayed), tying this to broader cultural issues about teaching men emotional expression.
• Notable Quote:
  • "If we stop teaching men so early to stop expressing themselves... That's not beneficial to anybody." (Dulce, 49:49)

7. Race, Colorism, and Michael Jackson's Skin Debate

(58:41 – 76:47)

• The crew spends an extended, comedic segment fielding a listener’s question: "What color do y’all think Michael Jackson’s dick was?" They approach it with humor, curiosity, and real observations about Vitiligo and skin bleaching, with asides to Sammy Sosa and broader colorism.
• Dulce draws on personal experiences with skin markings and discusses differences between Vitiligo and other pigmentation.
• Notable (and hilarious) exploration:
  • “When this motherfucker get hard, that Black come back out. And Michael Jackson was a real nigga all the way to the end.” (Langston, 75:35)
• Cultural Commentary: The group briefly examines the Jehovah’s Witness faith, debates about circumcision, and jokes about cults vs. organized religion.

8. The Politics of ICE, Deportation, and Community Trauma

(24:25 – 28:00)

• Dulce shares a harrowing account of a massive ICE raid in her Gwinnett County apartment complex post-9/11, highlighting the trauma of entire buildings emptying overnight.
• Notable Quote:
  • "There was multiple—like, there was whole buildings in my complex that were empty." (Dulce, 26:01)
• The hosts talk about family separation, deportation logistics, and the lingering pain it caused in immigrant communities.

9. Blackness, Colorism, and Loving Dark Skin

(20:02 – 20:36)

• Dulce decries colorism and celebrates the beauty of dark skin, lamenting societal pressures to think otherwise.
• Notable Quote:
  • "We've been told to think that dark skin is not gorgeous. Right. ... Why would that not be beautiful?" (Dulce, 20:12)

10. Crackheads vs. Cops & Unlikely Dispute Resolution

(54:19 – 55:09)

• In true “My Momma Told Me” fashion, the group riffs on a viral trope: calling a crackhead instead of police.
• Notable Quote:
  • "The crackhead is going to know where your stuff went. ... They know who took it." (Dulce, 54:25)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “They love a crock pot. That is just a slow boil. Or for me, just a long walk to food poisoning.” (Dulce, 09:19)
• “How do you take over multiple countries, steal their spices, and then not use them?” (Dulce, 12:15)
• "Poor people food is poor people food." (Dulce, 41:32)
• "No, no, no, no. First of all, there's a knife in my purse. Don't play with me." (Dulce, 10:16)
• "If we stop teaching men so early to stop expressing themselves... That's not beneficial to anybody." (Dulce, 49:49)
• “When this motherfucker get hard, that Black come back out. And Michael Jackson was a real nigga all the way to the end.” (Langston, 75:35)
• "We've been told to think that dark skin is not gorgeous. Right. ... Why would that not be beautiful?" (Dulce, 20:12)
• "There was multiple... whole buildings in my complex that were empty [after ICE raided]." (Dulce, 26:01)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | |-------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Opening banter & conspiracy premise | 06:09–08:22 | | Boiling vs. seasoning – what’s wrong with how white folks cook | 08:22–13:50 | | Spice rack struggles & black culinary pride | 13:00–14:15 | | Southern culinary crossovers | 40:21–42:22 | | Barbecue memories and argument | 31:02–32:50 | | Emotional expression and Korean Dramas | 48:01–51:12 | | ICE, deportations, and community impacts | 24:25–28:00 | | Race, colorism, and Michael Jackson’s skin | 58:41–76:47 | | Crackheads vs. cops segment | 54:19–55:06 | | Outro and plugs | 78:28–84:42 |

Flow, Tone, and Energy

• Language & Tone: The episode is fast-paced, comedic, and occasionally raunchy. The hosts and guest are irreverent, highly self-aware, and blend historical/contextual knowledge with joking personal anecdotes.
• Flow: The conversation moves organically between tightly focused cultural conspiracies and tangential riffs—rarely staying on one track for long, but always circling back to the episode’s food theme or broader cultural critique.
• Dynamic: The chemistry is excellent, especially as Dulce takes center stage with strong opinions and stories, while Langston and David lob jokes and play the foil. There are recurring in-jokes about barbecues, emotional men, and Michael Jackson’s anatomy—proving that “My Momma Told Me” thrives in unfiltered speculation, laughter, and community wisdom.

Final Thoughts

This episode blends food anthropology, Black American humor, and unvarnished group chat-style banter. The “white people can’t cook” conspiracy is dissected, mocked, and traced—from the roots of European food history to the dynamics of Southern kitchens and the persistence of racist rumors. The tangential journeys into race, colorism, deportation trauma, and even pop culture (Michael Jackson, Cat Williams) make for some of the show’s sharpest, funniest, and most culturally insightful podcasting.

Where to Find the Hosts & Guest

• Dulce Sloan: @dulcesloan on social media; Podcast: Chasing K Dramas; merch/ministry: nomorebrokedick.com; tour dates at dulcesloan.com/tour
• Langston Kerman: @langstonkerman on all platforms; “Aspiring Deadbeat Tour”
• David Gborie: Instagram @coolguyjokes87

Listen For:

• Spicy (and hilarious) food opinions
• Living Black Southern foodways
• Teachable moments about colorism and immigrant hardship
• The wildest Michael Jackson speculation you’ll hear all year
• Gut-busting, unfiltered laughter and truth-telling

For fans and new listeners alike, this episode is a perfect encapsulation of ‘My Momma Told Me’: smart, rowdy, culturally insightful, and relentlessly funny.