
Loading summary
Langston Kerman
This is an I heart podcast. What kind of man would let this happen to his family? Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
On a story about the Murdochs. Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.
Langston Kerman
Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.
David Bore
It's only cheating if you get caught.
Langston Kerman
Hulu original series Murdoch Death in the Family. New episodes Wednesdays on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
David Bore
I turned off news altogether.
Dwayne Perkins
I hate to say it, but I.
David Bore
Don'T trust much of anything.
Langston Kerman
It's the rage bait.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
It feels like it's trying to divide people.
David Bore
We got clear facts. Maybe we could calm down a little. NBC News brings you clear reporting. Let's meet at the Facts. Let's move forward from there. NBC News reporting for America mint is.
Langston Kerman
Still $15 a month for premium wireless.
David Bore
And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.
Langston Kerman
One, it's $15 a month.
David Bore
Two, seriously, it's $15 a month. Three, no big contracts. Four, I use it.
Dwayne Perkins
Five, my mom uses it.
David Bore
Are you. Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right?
Langston Kerman
Okay, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
$15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
Langston Kerman
See mintmobile.com if you're waiting for your AI to turn into ROI.
David Bore
And wondering.
Langston Kerman
How long you have to wait, maybe.
David Bore
You need to do more than wait.
Langston Kerman
Any business can use AI. IBM helps you use AI to change how you do business. Let's create smarter business. IBM. I'm glad I never had that. My mom never wanted to wear the same clothes as hey.
David Bore
But we all been blessed in different ways.
Langston Kerman
She would wear my jacket to the club sometimes because I had a cool ass 49ers fake leather jacket for a little bit.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
And then my shit, she come back. My shit smelled like smoke. Now.
David Bore
So it got cooler?
Langston Kerman
No. Cause now I gotta go to school.
Dwayne Perkins
God damn, you smell like squares.
David Bore
What you do last night?
Langston Kerman
Why does little boy smell like musk? The government growing babies? Microchips in your anus? All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Marching to bending turkey stuff Y' all can't tell me nothing. The truth about a Roni She's a sweet old girl about the sweetest little girl in the whole wide world she make the toughest homeboy fall deep in love and once you had a Roni you Will never give her up. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama told.
David Bore
Me, you ain't crazy, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we ain't on shit.
Langston Kerman
We ain't doing nothing, not one day of our lives.
David Bore
Hey, we will try someday.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, One day.
David Bore
That's the promise to you, is one of these days we gonna try our best. And it's gonna be cool.
Dwayne Perkins
It's gonna.
Langston Kerman
Or it's gonna be disappointing. That's really the worry.
David Bore
I think I'm overselling when I say cool.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
I think I'm trying to pitch up.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Yeah. We could. We could make this cool one day. I bet.
Langston Kerman
I worry that if we get enough money to fulfill our dreams, our fans will find out how lame we actually are.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Like, oh, Dave is just a guy who likes sailboats now. I thought he was. Thought he was on some shit. He's just a boat nerd.
David Bore
Wait, so this nigga's the same, but now he's wearing a cape?
Langston Kerman
Yes. Yeah. He got money. That's cool to me.
David Bore
Like, wow. Brave.
Langston Kerman
No, the fashion's gonna get bad. I have something I want to talk to you guys about.
David Bore
Yeah, please.
Langston Kerman
I saw this on the Internet yesterday, and it's been in my head. I can't get it out.
David Bore
Oh, no.
Langston Kerman
Somebody online said RFK is their doctor. Sebi. Yeah, this is. See, that's.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
And the results would be the same.
Langston Kerman
People die.
Dwayne Perkins
People gonna die.
Langston Kerman
People gonna die.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Fuck. Isn't that crazy?
Dwayne Perkins
That's.
Langston Kerman
Fuck, yeah.
David Bore
Because all they're both just being like, man, we should all just be eating good fruits and vegetables.
Langston Kerman
And that's how they draw you in.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
But then they're also like, potatoes cure cancer. And you're like, hold on. I don't know, big dog. Cause, like, I trust Western medicine. That sounds crazy to say. I don't trust doctors, but the medicine they got.
David Bore
But see, what I think turns into this dangerous thing with them is that they introduce the premise of, like, this pure lifestyle in which you can turn potatoes into a disease curing element. Whereas, like, we have so many impurities already in our system that we. The potato just ain't gonna do potato shit for us until we get fully alkaline and, like. And step into the Sebi sphere. And I think RFK is doing the shit. He's just doing it with, like, on a grander scale. He's like, the color inside of Froot Loops is killing y'. All. And if we could just make Froot Loops fucking tan, then. Then we can heal all disease. You don't need that vaccine, brother. You don't need to take that medication.
Dwayne Perkins
Which doesn't make the most sense. Cause he's talking about like the capabilities but not access to execution.
Langston Kerman
Right?
Dwayne Perkins
So where it's like, this is a thing that can happen. It will not happen in your lifetime. No, no, no, it won't.
David Bore
And in fact, I'm a really big fan of a dude who's planning to make them more colorful. Like, if he had it, he would be like, nah, make them shits glow. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what happens in Fruit Loops.
Dwayne Perkins
It's like, potatoes can cure cancer, but you will not have money to buy potatoes.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. N. And the potatoes the government gonna give you. They ain't gonna care shit. That's not the ones that's gonna help you.
Langston Kerman
It was just crazy because you don't think about like, quacks really scare me, man.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Like quack doctor, like Dr. Oz and that shit. That's like, that's almost more harmful than politicians. Cause a lot of people don't believe politicians. Off the rip. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Most people believe doctors.
David Bore
Yeah, doctors.
Langston Kerman
Oprah brings them in.
David Bore
Doctors had a good run.
Dwayne Perkins
I've had.
David Bore
I think we're out of the doctor era.
Dwayne Perkins
Once a doctor gets on tv, that's an actor, don't trust him. Why you on tv? Go be in an office.
David Bore
You should not be here.
Langston Kerman
You had a good job.
Dwayne Perkins
You had to be forward facing. You're trying to be talent. No.
David Bore
You have a lot of patients in your waiting room. What are you doing here?
Dwayne Perkins
Exactly.
Langston Kerman
Also, if your doctor. Your first name. No, no, no. Dr. Drew.
Dwayne Perkins
That's branding. You are a product, Dr. Esther.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
You're trying to be that substitute teacher who turns his chair around and it's like, nope, no, no, no. You're not a friend of mine.
Dwayne Perkins
You got your knee. That's what you're doing.
Langston Kerman
I need you to be doctor. Indian last name. Yeah. Or whoever you go to.
Dwayne Perkins
I just came from my doctor and he is of that ilk. Ok? And I said shout out. Trust you.
Langston Kerman
Hey.
David Bore
Shout out to Indian doctors. We've all experienced it and we've all, I think, for the most part, enjoyed them.
Langston Kerman
I got two going crazy. I told. I've been talking about it.
David Bore
Yeah. No, you're bragging. You've been bragging.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I gave you his number. I don't even be doing That I don't know if he has, like, a black quota.
David Bore
You're just trying to be a referral for a good guy.
Dwayne Perkins
That's nice and wholesome.
Langston Kerman
It is. It's really sweet.
David Bore
He was like, when was the last time you got a checkup? I was like, I don't know. He was like, come on, guy.
Dwayne Perkins
I got a guy.
Langston Kerman
And it was mostly vanity for me having a doctor.
David Bore
No.
Langston Kerman
And because for many years, I was quite the opposite.
David Bore
I'll be real. And it felt like a flex because I've lived in Los Angeles much longer than you now, and I have a lot of responsibilities. You do. And I do not have a consistent relationship with. I have a. A primary care physician, but it's not a man I care about or necessarily trust. It is just a dude I found and was like, yeah, I guess.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. It upset me when you said. Because I was. I thought you probably had a good doctor.
Dwayne Perkins
No, same because of insurance and, like, job. Like, I don't.
David Bore
It's. It's not a question of money. It's not an issue of access. It is purely a issue of me not investing enough in me. And that's where the embarrassment lives. Just lazy.
Langston Kerman
A little bit. Slow. Slow, though.
Dwayne Perkins
Slowly, slowly.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Justify some of these choices.
Langston Kerman
It's like smoking cigarettes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Bore
Some people smoke cigarettes. I myself just sort of find the first guy on ZOCDOC and go, my boy.
Dwayne Perkins
That's like a thing, though, with, like, black men, Right? That's like a stereotype that black men don't like doctors.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I don't think it's hysteria. It's true, right?
David Bore
It's not even that I don't like them. I have a lot of them in my family, weirdly. But I just don't think they're gonna do nothing.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. That's how I'd be feeling, too.
Dwayne Perkins
I think that's like, the general thing.
David Bore
Yeah. And that's not a healthy approach.
Dwayne Perkins
What that doctor gonna do? Probably something you can't.
Langston Kerman
That's how I feel. My shit'll be hurting, and my girl tell me to go to the doctor. I'm like, okay. So he could what? Yeah, so he could what? Yeah. And then you go in there and he's like, oh, you have a hernia.
Dwayne Perkins
Something you could not have diagnosed.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
All right, all right.
David Bore
That's not gonna suck back in Playboy. You gotta figure this out.
Dwayne Perkins
I think I talked to my doctor too much. He actually told me, like, you have to stop talking to me. Whoa. Every ailment I'm just like, hey, no.
Langston Kerman
Good for you.
Dwayne Perkins
I got checked for breast cancer not too long ago. Cause there was a little lump in my. No, we could do that. I get checked for everything. Oh, my goodness. And he was like, I just think that's his problem.
David Bore
I'll check myself before I wreck myself.
Dwayne Perkins
Exactly. And he was like, no, you don't have it. And I said, give me the test. If I have insurance, I'm going to just use it. I go to the dentist too much. I'm going to use it. Oh, good for you.
Langston Kerman
See, that's where I gotta get.
Dwayne Perkins
You have to find everything that your insurance can get you. A nutritionist, like, all kinds of things. I'm just like, can I have it? Yeah, yeah, just get it. And it made my life better.
David Bore
Nutritionists are covered under SAG and or wga. Yes. Whoa, bro.
Langston Kerman
No, our health. It goes far.
Dwayne Perkins
Yes, it goes far.
Langston Kerman
It does go far.
David Bore
You could get.
Langston Kerman
You need surgery.
Dwayne Perkins
Damn.
Langston Kerman
Got you.
David Bore
I'm about to get a nutrition.
Dwayne Perkins
I got sunglasses.
David Bore
Sunglasses.
Dwayne Perkins
I get free sunglasses every year.
David Bore
Press a button, city boss.
Dwayne Perkins
I went to my javatris and I said, jake the eyes. And they said, you get free sunglasses. I got some razor bands. They were cute.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
Dwayne Perkins
There's so many things.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
David Bore
Hey, let's talk off microphone. Dwayne, I think. I think we got a few things.
Langston Kerman
Let's get a doctor co op going. We.
David Bore
And by co op, you are the leader of this operation because he got some things. I think you're really on to something here. Our guest today.
Langston Kerman
I want a skin doctor.
David Bore
Oh, a dermatologist.
Dwayne Perkins
Yes.
Langston Kerman
I didn't even think we could do that.
Dwayne Perkins
Are you joking? I literally, I. They are the best.
David Bore
That one I do know. And I. I needed it bad, so.
Langston Kerman
I. Oh, because you had acne though, right?
David Bore
I had pretty severe, like, cystic acne. And then the Accutane, which.
Dwayne Perkins
Shout out to Accutane on Accutane right now.
David Bore
Are you on Accutane?
Dwayne Perkins
Terrible medicine. Beautiful for the skin. Fantastic.
David Bore
Brother. I always call Accutane brother.
Langston Kerman
It is.
David Bore
It is poison. It is the rawest poison they can serve to the human body before you turn into dust. It is absolute poison. Oh, no. But it is godsend.
Langston Kerman
Are you serious? Like, it's like that.
David Bore
What is this?
Dwayne Perkins
One of my friends who's a nurse, she was like, like, you. We use this for, like, cancer. Like, this is, like, really strong. You. You have to get monthly blood tests because every pill has, like a pregnant lady on it. Being like, don't get Pregnant. It will deform your baby.
David Bore
Please don't fucking intake this shit. Please.
Dwayne Perkins
It's like proven like your child, like 100% will be disabled. Like, it has pictures of like a baby with like the head. Like, it's. And it's a lot worse for women.
David Bore
So it actually doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt us that much.
Langston Kerman
I don't usually like to double up, but.
Dwayne Perkins
Shout out to big man.
Langston Kerman
It's nuts.
David Bore
It's really crazy, but man, it does it. It's like the only. Until. Until. Until all like the. The recent. What's the shit that everybody's on?
Langston Kerman
Tylenol?
David Bore
No.
Dwayne Perkins
Ozempic.
David Bore
Ozempic. Until the Ozempic craze, Accutane was like the only drug that I knew of where everybody was just in agreement. It is a cure for the ailment you have.
Langston Kerman
Do you still take. You have to take it forever.
David Bore
No, you can't take it past like six months or it will kill you.
Dwayne Perkins
I would say this is my second time doing it because I did it the first time and. Great. And then like years later, I just got acne when I was in New York not too long ago. And it was because I was like doing 75 hard, and I accidentally did like a keto diet and was like in like ketosis in a way that I wasn't supposed to. So my skin like flared up. So I went to my dermatologist and they were like, we could give you like topical stuff or you can just take Accutane again. And then your chances of getting acne ever again is like 98% or something. That's just like. It changes the DNA, like in your body.
David Bore
No, it's truly changed.
Dwayne Perkins
That's why it's so bad.
Langston Kerman
Okay. And you're a little darker than most acne sufferers. Cause it's the light man's burden.
David Bore
Whoa.
Langston Kerman
This is.
David Bore
This is a nasty revelation. I don't know that to be true.
Langston Kerman
That more light skinned guys have acne than dark skinned guys.
Dwayne Perkins
Is that why your skin's so nice?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Cause I was looking, I was like, damn, this skin. Nice.
Langston Kerman
I don't.
David Bore
You're not gonna stand up?
Dwayne Perkins
I mean, I wanna hear more. Huh. This theory seems like it may have legs.
David Bore
Wait a minute.
Langston Kerman
Well, it's only a light skinned ailment. No, no, but it's mostly.
Dwayne Perkins
It's just. It's.
David Bore
It's.
Langston Kerman
There's more than.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah, because there's like a lot of like melanin and stuff.
Langston Kerman
No, no, no, no, no.
David Bore
Let's go. That was some fake ass doctors. That was some doctor.
Dwayne Perkins
No, no.
David Bore
You're over here trying to be RFK on me and. No, I'm not doing that.
Langston Kerman
You don't know nothing about this.
David Bore
Melanin ain't got shit to do with acne. It does.
Dwayne Perkins
That's because hyperpigmentation.
David Bore
Yes, but that's what you're talking about, is it showing up. That's not the actual, like, acne itself.
Langston Kerman
I'm just saying you boys can't hurt me, okay?
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
I'm not.
David Bore
You can't hurt me.
Langston Kerman
You don't have acne now.
David Bore
Because of a medication that I'm fairly certain made it so I'll never touch my toes again.
Dwayne Perkins
I think it changes your bone.
David Bore
It's really. I think I'm.
Dwayne Perkins
It's pretty bad.
David Bore
I think there's gonna be more diarrhea than there was supposed to be. Moving forward because of the medication I took. But that is the way of my life.
Dwayne Perkins
I would say, like Accutane gave me one of the most horrifying experiences. Cause it makes you very dry. And this one time I forgot to moisturize before going to sleep. And I woke up the next morning and I yawned. And because I opened my mouth, the corners of my mouth just like all cracked.
David Bore
Oh.
Dwayne Perkins
And I was still bleeding. And I said, damn. Beauty is pain.
David Bore
But the skin.
Langston Kerman
Glowing, Glowing.
David Bore
That was great.
Langston Kerman
You moisturize before you go to sl.
Dwayne Perkins
Before. Like, I have to moisturize a lot.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
Really?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I only. I moisturize after I get out the shower.
David Bore
Yeah, I'm a. I'm a morning moisturizer.
Dwayne Perkins
I do it in the morning and at night.
Langston Kerman
And then I got a little pad. I do like every other day.
David Bore
Our guest today is glowing.
Langston Kerman
You want to get off that big acne top?
Dwayne Perkins
Light skinned man's burden.
David Bore
I hate. But I still have to do business with you today.
Langston Kerman
How about that?
David Bore
I'll complete the job today and then we'll figure something else out because you're being nasty. That said, our guest today.
Langston Kerman
Watch me slip the word gorilla later in this interview. It's about to happen.
David Bore
You monkeys acting an absolute fool. Ooga booga, ooga booga.
Langston Kerman
Ee ah ah.
David Bore
I guess the day is great. Hilarious comedian. A talent of all kinds. Acting, writing, telling the jokes, all that shit. You know him from the blackening. His own film. You know him from. From the studio. The goddamn hit the studio. Dwayne Perkins, everybody.
Langston Kerman
How did you get here? I took the bus. Nobody supposed to be here. Well, bitch, I can't Go.
Dwayne Perkins
Nice. Yeah. Thank you. Beautiful intro. Thanks for having me.
Langston Kerman
Thanks for being here. Thanks for coming.
David Bore
We've talked a lot of shit already, but you came with a conspiracy theory that I think is only going to open this shit talking world up even more. You said, my mama told me.
Dwayne Perkins
Barbers.
David Bore
Have to be homophobic. You only get a taste. We don't have no actual pussy pop in here.
Dwayne Perkins
Bring it down. Cause I was about my ass cheek went, ooh.
David Bore
I really guess that song is longer. It is.
Langston Kerman
I've heard it.
Dwayne Perkins
But yes, that is true. And I think it's true. Tell us all the years that I've been to barbershops. I think barbers have to be homophobic.
David Bore
You.
Dwayne Perkins
You.
Langston Kerman
I mean, ours are, but we still want to hear.
David Bore
Yeah. You. You have had about how many barbers do you think in your life?
Dwayne Perkins
Oh, boy. Probably upwards of like 20, 30.
David Bore
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
Cause I like, lived. Like, I've moved around.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
So it's just been like a lot.
Langston Kerman
You get your hair braided in a barbershop or a salon?
Dwayne Perkins
No, usually a woman does my braiding.
Langston Kerman
Thank God. Like how they have the woman in the barbershop who's braiding?
Dwayne Perkins
No, I usually, like. It's usually in a salon.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
And then I go get like a lineup.
David Bore
Oh, you go to separate businesses.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. I can only have so much homophobia in my life.
Langston Kerman
This guy's living. He got dermatologists, he got two people who do his hair.
David Bore
He do two stops in the day just to get that all done.
Dwayne Perkins
It's about vibes.
Langston Kerman
You gotta love it.
Dwayne Perkins
Have the right vibe. But yeah, I think barbershops are like, historically 30 barbers.
David Bore
20 to 30 barbers you've had in your life. And you would say almost all of them, if not all of them home, homophobic.
Dwayne Perkins
Absolutely.
David Bore
Holy shit.
Dwayne Perkins
Or at least feigning.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, right, right. Which we've all done in the barbershop.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. Oh, I fit in same. I just like those heads.
Langston Kerman
No, I love pregnant pussy. It's best.
David Bore
Yeah, man. I can't wait to try it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I saw the fight.
David Bore
Yeah. I be pretending to understand football. I don't know a goddamn thing, bro.
Langston Kerman
I mean, damn, the l.
Dwayne Perkins
I would say barbershops are similar. Cause I played football in high school, and I think they're similar. And why homophobia is so random. I think that barbershops, like football teams and churches, are the most homoerotic spaces.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I'd say that's very fair. Yeah, I'd say that's very fair.
Dwayne Perkins
So you have to have homophobia as, like, a counter.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
If it's not there, I think then they will all turn gay.
David Bore
Oh, you're saying that the intimacy of the barbershop would make it such that without, like, the buffer of a dude being like, I fucking hate gay people, I might enjoy his touch too much and find myself.
Dwayne Perkins
Absolutely. Cause there's not many environments where a man is touching your face whose dick is kind of, like, rubbing against you.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
In your eyes. It is very.
David Bore
It's the closest I've ever let a man.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you. I took a white. White guy to my barbershop one time.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And afterwards, he was like, I never had. He was like. He was like, I never. I know a man has never, like, touched me. And I don't even think. You know what I mean? He was, like, surprised. You know what I mean?
David Bore
And yesterday, the way you tell that story, I always picture him turning down the radio. You know what I mean? Like, y' all are driving together and. And he's like, hey, can we talk? And then he, like, turns his shit down.
Dwayne Perkins
I think that's what the experience would be all the time.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
So they have to be like, I hate gays.
Langston Kerman
Well, he's just massaging your hair.
David Bore
And the more you.
Langston Kerman
You.
David Bore
The more you spend with time you spend with these people, the more you start to care about them, the more you sort of become invested in their life, in their relationships and who they see themselves as. And if that don't make you start to feel gay, when that man is touching.
Dwayne Perkins
When he lifts your chin like this.
Langston Kerman
Whoa. That's the side of your head to, like, get the razor. Come on.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah, he's delicate.
David Bore
Come on.
Langston Kerman
Nobody touches my face that much. Nobody that I'm not having sex with.
Dwayne Perkins
No, Exactly.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
Dwayne Perkins
If the homophobia wasn't there, it would be a bathhouse. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Damn, that Atlanta. Get on it. That's what I think is gay ass barbershop. Gay ass barbershop.
Dwayne Perkins
There's porn, like, gay porn that's, like, in that realm.
Langston Kerman
Wow.
Dwayne Perkins
Okay. This is new to me because, like.
Langston Kerman
No, no, no.
David Bore
Before you tell us about the porn itself, tell us how you got there.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. What was the clique before the barbershop click?
David Bore
Tell us the exact steps that got us to gas barbershop porn.
Langston Kerman
Also, is it a parody of the movie Barbershop? Ooh.
David Bore
Good question. Is there a Cedric in this scenario?
Langston Kerman
He's just watching.
David Bore
That's not how we to do it.
Dwayne Perkins
And then there's an eve Character drinking apple juice.
David Bore
Just watching Michael Ealy. He busy?
Langston Kerman
No, he's the star. He's at that point. He's the star. He's so handsome.
Dwayne Perkins
I think there's not a far jump from general nigadom. And when you have black men, black gay men, they get a lot of haircuts. That's true. And like I said, that intimacy is very well known. It's just not talked about among straight men. Because you can't talk about it. Cause then you might be about to and start to.
Langston Kerman
And we all have to shout out to Alex English, who has a bit about it. But it's like, then we all have to admit we got dick on our shoulder regular.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And that's tough.
David Bore
I don't think I've heard people talk about this a lot, but I'm curious to know if you've been privy to it. Are you privy to how barbers speak about gay men when they are either coming or going from the barbershop? What do you mean? Like, I have always heard barbers talking shit for their gay clients who then sit politely through all their homophobia in a way that I don't think often gets addressed.
Langston Kerman
Oh, like they're talking about gay guys while cutting gay.
David Bore
No, I'm saying that, like, they'll see their gay client coming up and they'll be like, this gay ass nigga. And then he walks in and they're like, ah, yeah. Hey, what's up, man?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And it's. It's this almost like nasty dance that happens where it is. Everybody is sort of like serving at. We are homophobic politely with each other when it's a much more like, deep. Nah, I feel this shit. Homophobia. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I don't think I've experienced that personally. Cause I'd be like, nigga, who the fuck you talking to?
David Bore
No, they don't say it to them.
Langston Kerman
Oh.
David Bore
It's always when the doors. The shop is not yet open. Oh.
Dwayne Perkins
I think, like, that's what they like, they're making an announcement to their peers of, like, I won't be tainted.
David Bore
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Oh, yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Just so y' all know, he's gay. We all know.
Langston Kerman
I just love money.
David Bore
Just so y' all know, I don't like this shit.
Dwayne Perkins
This is. This is not the beginning of my journey.
David Bore
Hey, I'm gonna touch his chin.
Langston Kerman
Nobody say nothing.
Dwayne Perkins
But in my head, if I heard that, I'd be like, that nigga's gay. You're really thinking about, like, how can I not be affected by this?
David Bore
Right?
Dwayne Perkins
I just don't think about things that, like, I don't go into a salon to get my hair braided and be like, I'm gonna leave out just craving puss. Like, yes.
Langston Kerman
See? And that's the difference between you and I. Mm.
David Bore
I do think.
Langston Kerman
I do.
David Bore
I do think if I were leaving the salon, I would be more hungry for pussy than.
Langston Kerman
Did you ever, like, go get.
David Bore
Going in.
Langston Kerman
Did you ever go with your mom to get her hair braided or anything like that?
David Bore
Yeah, quite a bit.
Langston Kerman
And you be in there for like six hours.
David Bore
It's a bummer. Terrible time. It's a real bummer.
Langston Kerman
It's a specific smell.
David Bore
One time. This is maybe one of my most traumatic childhood memories, but one time I came home from Detroit and my cousin was a barber and he cut my hair. Cool. For the first time. My mom had been cutting my hair up to this point, and she was not nailing it.
Langston Kerman
I had to run like that too.
David Bore
Yeah. It was just what she could do and she didn't. She didn't study nothing. It was a lot of bowl cut ass energy.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Yeah. Nothing on the side.
David Bore
So on the side did it get better. She wasn't working on it as a skill at all. This was purely a choice of function and not a man in the household. So here we go.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
I'm not about to sit down in a barbershop, so you. This what you gonna get till you figure out this is a mistake. That was the energy. But my cousin cut my hair one summer, and I came back with a fly ass haircut, and my mom liked it so much that she wanted the same haircut. So my mom.
Dwayne Perkins
I did not think that was gonna happen.
Langston Kerman
That's a nightmare.
David Bore
I swear to God. I'm boiling as I'm telling you.
Langston Kerman
Right?
David Bore
It's so traumatic for me. My mom wanted the same haircut, and then she went to, like, fucking supercuts to get the same haircut because she just didn't know where else to go for the shit and went to, like, a local ass whatever and asked them to do this haircut on a black woman's hair. And then they did bad.
Langston Kerman
Of course they did.
David Bore
They fucked it up bad. And then she called me over because she's already yelling at them. She's already cussing them out. And then she called me over to be like, how does it look? No, how does it. Tell me what you think of this.
Langston Kerman
How old are you?
David Bore
I'm like eight.
Langston Kerman
Oh, that's. This is a hard memory, bro.
David Bore
I didn't know That I could say anything bad in front of an adult who tried.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah.
David Bore
So I went, it's fine.
Langston Kerman
And what'd she say to you?
David Bore
She cussed me the fuck out in front of the man because the man needed to know that he did a bad job.
Dwayne Perkins
Yes. And you did not support her.
David Bore
I didn't hold.
Dwayne Perkins
You're on the side of the man.
David Bore
I got a friend in this village. I think about it so much.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. No, this is.
Dwayne Perkins
Dang. Y' all set each other up.
David Bore
And shame on you for shaming me. History will remain. Remember your choice. You're a nasty person. History will remember you this way. I was a. I was a victim. There was no other version of this. I had been getting ass haircut after ass haircut after ass haircut. So much so that my cousin, who's not a barber for real, he just knows how to cut hair. Made me look like a halfway decent person.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And then she wanted to replicate that and then got mad at me only.
Dwayne Perkins
Cause you lied to her face.
Langston Kerman
I didn't.
David Bore
I was. I was a victim.
Dwayne Perkins
She said, how does look? You already saw she was mad. She cursed. You saw it. It looked like your haircut, but it.
David Bore
Looked like all the haircuts I had up to that point.
Langston Kerman
Oh, so you were like, that's a good.
David Bore
It was.
Dwayne Perkins
You said, this is what you deserve.
Langston Kerman
This is karma, yo. You are making him the villain a little bit. That's crazy.
David Bore
You're a bad person. I regret inviting you here.
Dwayne Perkins
I'm just saying I understand. Your mother's partner.
David Bore
I thought I could open up and share something truly true about myself. And Dwayne said, how about we reinterpret this history?
Dwayne Perkins
He said, maybe you should free yourself from the narrative that you've created.
David Bore
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
And adopt this other one to really re. So that it's not as traumatizing.
David Bore
You're saying that my Holocaust didn't have 6 million hair follicles the way I claim?
Langston Kerman
No. I'm gonna step in. I think you're both playing a dirty game.
David Bore
This feels wild to me. I'm in so much pain.
Dwayne Perkins
Did you learn something from that moment? Did you keep lying to people's faces about their appearances?
David Bore
I will say that I certainly did grow from that moment. And I don't think that that growth was intentional, But I do think that I found growth inside of that moment. And I imagine the hurt that you're causing me now I'll similarly grow from. But I don't think that that makes what you're doing okay.
Dwayne Perkins
I definitely think you were a victim.
David Bore
Go on.
Dwayne Perkins
I think victims can also victimize hurt people.
Langston Kerman
Hurt people.
Dwayne Perkins
Mm. Bad haircuts create bad haircuts.
Langston Kerman
But you were a child and she was an adult.
David Bore
Let's take a break. Let's take a break. I think everybody just needs a cool down moment. I think everybody could use a laugh. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna be back.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
More.
David Bore
Duane Perkins.
Langston Kerman
More.
David Bore
My mama told me.
Langston Kerman
What kind of man would let this happen to his family? Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
On a story about the Murdochs. Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.
Langston Kerman
Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.
David Bore
It's only cheating if you get caught.
Langston Kerman
Hulu Original Series Murdoch Death in the Family New episodes Wednesdays on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
There's nothing like sinking into luxury. @washablesofas.com you'll find the Annabe sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom. Starting at only $699, the stain resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a model modular design and changeable slipcovers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Right now you can shop up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop now@washablesofas.com Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
David Bore
I turned off news altogether.
Dwayne Perkins
I hate to say it, but I.
Langston Kerman
Don'T trust much of anything. It's the rage bait. It feels like it's trying to divide people.
David Bore
We got clear facts. Maybe we could calm down a little. NBC News brings you clear reporting. Let's meet at the Facts. Let's move forward from there. NBC News, reporting for America mint, is.
Langston Kerman
Still $15 a month for premium wireless. And if you haven't made the switch.
David Bore
Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.
Langston Kerman
One, it's $15 a month.
Dwayne Perkins
Two.
Langston Kerman
Seriously, it's $15 a month.
David Bore
Three. No big contracts.
Langston Kerman
Four. I use it. Five, my mom uses it. Are you. Are you playing me off? That's what's happening right okay, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
For a three month plan. $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
Langston Kerman
See mintmobile.com.
David Bore
Nigga, I created you, nigga. Well, God created you.
Langston Kerman
But I helped and I helped us bring back this show that really felt.
David Bore
Like something my mom would say.
Dwayne Perkins
I feel like my mother also done that.
Langston Kerman
Do white kids get that I made you speech? I don't think they do.
David Bore
What do you mean?
Langston Kerman
Like the, like, I brought you in this world, I could take you out. I never heard of a white person talk about anything like that.
David Bore
Oh, you're saying that the way he was speaking to his child is not the way that white people do it?
Langston Kerman
No, I mean, he wasn't speaking to a child, but like, I mean, in general.
David Bore
But you're saying. Are you talking about Thug specifically or are you talking about like the Cosby version of this?
Langston Kerman
The Cosby version of it.
David Bore
I got you. He was speaking to Theo.
Langston Kerman
No, but that's what I'm saying. I don't think that. I don't think white parents say that. Oh, I don't know.
David Bore
My dad never said it to me. No, No. A white parent you got secretly tucked away.
Dwayne Perkins
Your daddy white?
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Oh, I just thought you was light skinned. Yeah.
David Bore
No. Yeah. Yep.
Dwayne Perkins
I have to leave.
David Bore
Damn, my car.
Langston Kerman
You do feel like you have like a Caribbean flavor to you.
David Bore
And I've really been riding that for some time. I really. I ain't rushing to expose all my secrets, you know, when I sit down with people.
Langston Kerman
Hey, you passed the paper bag test. It's good enough for me.
David Bore
Hey, hey. We all got Shane. You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Not me. You got two doctors. He's fine.
David Bore
Yeah, this man worked it out via his insurance. Dwayne, do you think there is anything we can do about the homophobia in a black barbershop? Is this in any way a solvable problem? Yes. Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
I think that we have to let more men experiment sexually so then they can know if they actually really like it or not. So they don't have to fight so hard to guess. Cause I think there's a lot of men who are like, adamant about, like fighting homophobia because of the fear that they might be gay.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Dwayne Perkins
But if you just try some gay shit and really don't like it, then you can kind of just sit in that. Sit in that. Then you have some assuredness of just like, oh, I don't like that, but you experienced it, so you know that, like, oh, it's not that deep. So then you can just like, move on like a normal human. Similar. If you ate, like, some kind of food you don't like, you're just like, oh, I don't like that food. I'm not gonna eat that again.
Langston Kerman
Well, I think it's not as similar as we're talking.
Dwayne Perkins
Why not?
Langston Kerman
I think you have to be a lot braver to try to experiment sexually than you do to, like, just like we're talking about right now. Just in the world is how it is. I think that's what it is, is like. Like, people don't have the bravery to experiment sexually.
David Bore
But to this point, what if, as part of your barbershop certification, they just set up a nigga kissing booth right at the end and that certificate's right on the other side of it? Go ahead, kiss that man real quick. See if you feel that. And then now you can go to the world. Now you can be a barber.
Langston Kerman
Just make out with this dude.
David Bore
You just gotta kiss this man and see if that's something.
Langston Kerman
And then all your dreams will come true.
David Bore
And you can feel, however you feel about it, like, we will make space for you to say all the F bombs, all the nastiness that you feel.
Langston Kerman
Afterwards if you're really that mad, if.
David Bore
That'S really who you are. Yeah, but I bet to your point, more people would just sort of be like, oh, that's not for me. I'm good.
Dwayne Perkins
I watched a video. I forgot what YouTube channel it was on, but it was just like straight man kissing. Just be like, oh, we got like a group of straight men. Just be like, hey, kiss each other and see how that feels. And they were like, yeah, I've never kissed a man. And then they did and they were like, like, oh, yeah, okay. Like, man, it's really not that deep. Yeah, no, if you don't like it, you just kind of not going to do it again.
David Bore
Yeah, okay. He didn't get my soul. Oh, I thought. I thought it would be like kissing a dementor. Never mind.
Dwayne Perkins
Oh, it's kind of like kissing a girl. I just feel less. And me being like, yes.
Langston Kerman
That'S reasonable. That's reasonable.
David Bore
That's.
Langston Kerman
That's. That's.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
So, yeah, I think it's like exposure therapy.
David Bore
Okay. And do you think that that exposure therapy is something that we are going to have to resolve on a larger societal level before we can get to the barbershop? Or is the barbershop the source of this transformation.
Langston Kerman
Oh. Like, I don't know if I feel like the barbershop is ahead in anything. So shock.
Dwayne Perkins
I think it can be.
David Bore
I disagree.
Langston Kerman
Really, I do.
David Bore
I think it's so.
Langston Kerman
Well, it is like a free flow.
David Bore
Of ideas, and it's so equalizing in terms of status. Right. Like, that's the whole game. Is that, like, the richest dude and the poorest dude still gotta get the cut. Yeah. All gotta get cut. And they gotta wait their turn in, you know, some regard.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Dwayne Perkins
I just had an experience at a barbershop maybe a couple weeks ago.
David Bore
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
Where they were all talking about. A guy was talking about, like, washing clothes. And he lived in an apartment building where he said that he, like, washes the washing machine before he puts his clothes in. Like, he, like, wipes it out.
David Bore
Oh, okay.
Dwayne Perkins
And people were like, why would you do that?
Langston Kerman
Oh, it's a community laundry.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
And he was like. Cause I don't know. People. Like, who else is doing laundry? Like, I don't know, like, what's in their clothes? Like, kind of gross. And they were like, well, the washing machine is a washing machine. It should wash itself. Which seemed like a very regular conversation. Just me being like, okay, yeah, I was not participating. Cause I did not care.
David Bore
Sure, sure, sure.
Dwayne Perkins
And then one guy made a joke about poor people.
David Bore
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
Cause a guy made a comment like, oh, I would just get my laundry cleaned or folded. I would just go to a wash and fold. And then another guy made a comment about, like, oh, you hate poor. Something about poor people. And the guy was like, that's the most ignorant shit I've ever heard. And then the barbershop was like, that's not funny. This isn't like.
David Bore
This is.
Dwayne Perkins
Why would you try to dog people who don't have stuff? And I was like, oh, wow, that's beautiful. And they all kind of told this one guy, like, oh, no, that's not. Shut your ass up that way. And then moments later, they were talking about how vaccines aren't real. And I was like, we're so close.
David Bore
We're so close.
Dwayne Perkins
But that moment did give me hope. And I was like, oh, this is nice. There is, I think, if enough people, whoever is kind of the leading dominant force in the barbershop. I think if they initiate kind of a movement that people would get on board.
Langston Kerman
There are alphas in the barbershop.
Dwayne Perkins
Right?
Langston Kerman
Or the head. Like, the person who drives the conversation.
David Bore
Yeah. There's certainly the person that, like, when they show up, everybody knows when they talk and chill.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
And if they're not talking, y' all go ahead. Y' all have your fun. But, like, let that motherfucker get his shit off. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I definitely feel like there's, like, a capitalistic aspect to it. I feel like of the shop has a certain point of view. People are more likely to acquiesce. Cause they need a job.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
They got like.
Dwayne Perkins
They're like, hey, this is what we're doing in here. People will probably just, like, adopt that so they can keep that chair. So they can, like. That's a lot of jobs. It's just been like, how can I make the boss like me?
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And barbershop owners hang out. You ever been to a barbershop where, like, my last shop was like that, where the owner did not cut a lot, but he was always in there. Oh, he was hanging out. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. He's just like, I just wanna ste.
David Bore
Y' all cutting heads.
Langston Kerman
He would always, like, buy shit from the crackheads.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Or give him money to clean up. But he'd be like, leave the door open.
David Bore
He just. He. He. What he wants to be is sort of like a general manager.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. It's like Rocky when he owned that restaurant, coming in, shaking everybody's hand.
Dwayne Perkins
He's building community.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Shout out to John John.
David Bore
Shout out to John John. So. So. So you do believe that the barbershop can be the source? You think that this is potentially a future for us?
Dwayne Perkins
I do. I feel like it's like a hub of masculinity. And a lot of men kind of go there to validate their masculinity. So if the barbershop start to define what masculinity is, I think that could spread.
David Bore
Here's my worry. And this isn't to refute it, because I like what you're saying. But there's a part of me that worries that this is just going to push out a bunch of old niggas that ain't gonna get along. And they will form their own sort of, like, coalition, as it were, their tea party of sort of hate. Thus turning the barbershop into sort of like a liberal. You know what I mean? Representation, which makes it then corny and not. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's going to lose its power by being sort of forced against a more conservative base.
Langston Kerman
Sorry, that's a lot to take in. There's a lot to take in. I didn't think this was gonna get this deep, this episode, but that is.
Dwayne Perkins
I mean, I Would just say, like, don't be corny. Don't do that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I don't think that has to be like the greatest thing.
David Bore
No.
Dwayne Perkins
I don't even think like. Like gay men care as much. Just like, you don't have to change everything. Just don't be homophobic.
David Bore
It's like, pretty.
Dwayne Perkins
Like, you don't have to make that like, this is the non homophobic barbershop.
Langston Kerman
Right.
David Bore
It doesn't have to be a part of the brand in order to just.
Dwayne Perkins
Shut the fuck up.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. And if you have a thought, keep it to yourself.
David Bore
And that's. That's the part.
Langston Kerman
Cause why you telling me?
David Bore
That's really the difference in homophobia that I think so many homophobes don't understand is like, oh, know you. You could have that. Just chill.
Dwayne Perkins
True. I hate a lot of stuff.
David Bore
Put it in your pocket. I just don't say it all.
Langston Kerman
That's true. That's true. Are you chatty at the barbershop, though?
Dwayne Perkins
In general, I don't talk. I barely talk to the barber.
Langston Kerman
Same, same, same, same.
Dwayne Perkins
I just don't. I don't really get anything from it. Like, if there's something I feel like I need to say, I will. But generally the conversation is not like, stimulating in a way to where I'm like, I gotta give my take.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I laugh. I laugh a lot at the barbershop.
David Bore
Duh.
Dwayne Perkins
I shake my head a lot. Just like.
Langston Kerman
That'S really all you can do. That's all the dissent you can have. Sometimes.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah, I'm More sound effects where I would just be like, oh, interesting. But like a full take. Cause like, if I'm hearing the takes, usually is a take to where I'm like, if I gave my take, you do not. You will not be able to receive it.
Langston Kerman
Right.
Dwayne Perkins
So it doesn't. Like, there's no point in me having a side of an argument. Argue with yourself. Like, I just don't care.
David Bore
I treat the barbershop much like I treat improv. And I don't know how to. Yes. And them niggas. So I chill. I'll, you know, I'll run across if ever there's a moment. But like, I'm not. I don't know how to help with that.
Langston Kerman
It's really the smallest I ever am is in the barber chair.
Dwayne Perkins
Go inward.
Langston Kerman
You know, I really. I am not outgoing in there. Even my barber will try. Like, I got a cut yesterday and he was like, I had just caught on a trip. He was like, what was Your trip. And I was like, just off him.
David Bore
Bro. The anxiety I feel when a convert. When, like, my barber asks me a question, and then it becomes like a three chair convert when it bounces.
Langston Kerman
Because you want to keep it contained. I know what you mean. Because now I don't want you all talking about what I'm about.
David Bore
Talking.
Dwayne Perkins
Nah.
David Bore
And I don't want to have to keep weighing in if we're doing this and I do performance for a living. And I was like, nope. Anything past this chair is. I get stressed.
Langston Kerman
When he said. You hear that? He said. He said he. Blah, blah, blah. And then now it's over here.
Dwayne Perkins
To be honest, I would pay more for my barber to not talk.
Langston Kerman
It's like a lift.
Dwayne Perkins
Don't talk to them. Focus.
David Bore
I will pay more for focus. Yeah, you can talk all you want. Let's focus, bro.
Langston Kerman
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Dwayne Perkins
Cause now you're too deep into the conversation.
Langston Kerman
Now.
Dwayne Perkins
You didn't stop you moving your hands.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
The amount of time.
Langston Kerman
Oh, man.
David Bore
My barber stops to show me something on his phone.
Dwayne Perkins
Boy, why is your phone out?
Langston Kerman
You are at work.
Dwayne Perkins
That shit.
Langston Kerman
And it's never something I want to see. It's just like a custom Jordan duffel bag.
David Bore
Come on.
Dwayne Perkins
Where?
Langston Kerman
He's like, no, you got to see the red one. And I'm like, yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, I can't be too mad at homophobia, because I think barbershops is where I get the most conservative as well. I'm just looking like, work boy.
David Bore
Yeah, do your job.
Langston Kerman
You ain't on time.
David Bore
I'm a document. You know you ain't on time, right?
Dwayne Perkins
Cause don't tell me be on time. And then you not on time. And then you talking. You chit chatting.
David Bore
Chit chatting.
Dwayne Perkins
I barely have hair. I get a lining and a taper, and sometimes it takes an hour. I mean, like, what you.
Langston Kerman
Why an hour is just the time you're gonna be in there?
Dwayne Perkins
This is crazy. I thought this would be shorter. Cause you don't have to cut my whole head, bro. You have to cut the edges around my head sometimes.
David Bore
I've been in there for two.
Langston Kerman
Why?
Dwayne Perkins
We don't have that much hair.
David Bore
That's crazy.
Dwayne Perkins
It's kind of insane. I think they would make more money if they were quicker.
David Bore
It's a true violence that these barbers are committing.
Langston Kerman
They're time bandits.
David Bore
They are time bandits. They are soul thiefs. They will literally take. And they know what power they hold. They know how essential their job is. And they know how fearful you are of exploring outside of wherever the fuck you are.
Langston Kerman
That's true. Because I am. I'm so thankful to have found him. You ever come in, like 10 minutes late and he's still cutting the other guy a hundred percent, and you're like, bro, I'm late, bro.
David Bore
It's my only experience. I've never had it. Not that way. There's never been once where I showed up 10 minutes late and he was like, come on, bro.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, Never.
Dwayne Perkins
I got one more.
Langston Kerman
How? Yeah, how.
Dwayne Perkins
What is an appointment for?
David Bore
This is this. Math doesn't make sense.
Langston Kerman
Appointments at black barbershops are general guidelines.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. It's just like a suggestion. And be like, be around this time.
Langston Kerman
Just basically come in the afternoon, come in the morning, come at night.
David Bore
You don't want to come when it's dark.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Not on Monday, for some reason.
David Bore
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mondays are off for most barbers.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Why?
David Bore
I don't know.
Langston Kerman
I don't know.
David Bore
Sunday and Monday, they don't really cut like that. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
God.
David Bore
God.
Langston Kerman
But then what's Monday?
David Bore
God's friend.
Dwayne Perkins
Post God. Like, you really need to recover from how much holiness.
David Bore
You was loving on the Lord too hard. Got Lord hangover.
Dwayne Perkins
You got.
Langston Kerman
I also don't know how other barbershops work, though. Maybe that's just the hair industry.
David Bore
I don't know either. I wonder if it. If it almost was like, mirroring restaurants for some reason that like. Cause that's the same scheduled restaurant sometimes too.
Langston Kerman
Right where you come in. Yeah. You gotta wait 15 minutes or whatever.
David Bore
And then also Mondays are blocked off for a lot of restaurants. Like, there's a lot of places that don't even open on Mondays. And I wonder if it's that. But I don't know.
Langston Kerman
I think what we're dealing with is an unregulated industry.
Dwayne Perkins
Is it like a union?
Langston Kerman
I don't think so. I think barbering is the wild, wild west.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I think it's truly like, they could just be doing whatever they want. That's why there's not no uniform in prices, bro.
David Bore
They put up those.
Langston Kerman
And the prices are getting out of control.
David Bore
They are.
Dwayne Perkins
No, it is.
David Bore
Say more now. Let's say more about this. Cause I think you're onto something essential.
Langston Kerman
The prices, they're going crazy. It used to be 20 to 25 to get your haircut, and we all.
David Bore
Felt comfortable in that.
Langston Kerman
And it was okay, and I'll tip and that's cool. And then now know I'm going on booksy.
David Bore
You with booksy 100, man.
Dwayne Perkins
I'm on booksie 67.
Langston Kerman
67. 85.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
200 after 8pm yeah. Come to your house, kill yourself, bro. It's nuts.
David Bore
Yeah, no, it's really.
Dwayne Perkins
It's gonna be a good.
Langston Kerman
A couple hundred, bro. I had to buy a chunk. That's the only way I could get a discount.
David Bore
You had to buy multiple haircuts?
Langston Kerman
I had to buy four.
Dwayne Perkins
You had to buy, like, a package.
Langston Kerman
I just did. Oh, no. And he was like, honestly, it's the best deal. And it is. It is. I'm not tipping on those four either. He finished me up. I said, that's two, right? And then I walk out. Yeah, it's crazy.
David Bore
No, the prices have reached a dangerous tipping point for me because, you know.
Langston Kerman
I have to come back at least every 10 to 14 days.
Dwayne Perkins
But I feel like the industry has not evolved in a way that I think constitutes the rise in price outside of, like, you know, general, like, economy stuff. Like, oh, things cost more, but, like. Sure, but not this much.
Langston Kerman
No, you know what it is?
Dwayne Perkins
Like, dude, like. And then it would be, like, 60, but if you want me to touch your facial hair, there's an extra 30.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, the beard is included. The beard is included? What do you mean?
David Bore
You know. You know, it's the easiest thing to.
Langston Kerman
Cut on my face.
David Bore
And, you know, I can't be half K. Like, give me the fucking. What are you talking about?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you line me up, and now I walk out. My beard is nuts.
David Bore
What game is this?
Dwayne Perkins
It's a setup, man.
Langston Kerman
Somebody gotta, like, they gotta unionize or no, Because I think they're all independent contractors.
David Bore
No, I think the way they think. We don't want them unionized.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that shit. That's true.
Dwayne Perkins
All them niggas together.
David Bore
I think we want.
Langston Kerman
We.
David Bore
What we need with barbershops is to turn them into each little item that have no contact with the outside world. And that includes homophobia and weird YouTube videos. We just want them to live on their island. Focus on cutting hair, and we will pay enough to make your island keep being an island.
Langston Kerman
You know what I. And this is evil. You know what we need? Yeah, we need the evil shop and barbershop.
David Bore
David, he was a politician. We need.
Langston Kerman
We need, like, a McDonald's of black barbershops where it's like, they're gonna do a good enough job. The price is set. They have all this. And then all these independent guys will fall in line.
David Bore
The glory green.
Langston Kerman
We need Starbucks. Yeah, we need Starbucks. Or barbershops.
Dwayne Perkins
Right.
Langston Kerman
A black barbershop.
David Bore
Just make it so that we all agree that's the way it can be done.
Langston Kerman
Set price everywhere. If we could even just go back to 40, I. I could look at it. Once it gets 50 and up is where you're starting to be like, come on, man. Yeah, I gotta be here. Come on, man.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Unless I get a package.
Dwayne Perkins
The package with the guy.
David Bore
I'm not gonna lie. I think this nigga's promoting the package.
Dwayne Perkins
I mean, he said it is the best deal.
David Bore
He's like, guys, you gotta think about the package.
Langston Kerman
Here's the thing. I got the package. I'm in there every eight to nine days. It is a good deal. And I'm not tipping. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I generally think black men get haircuts too often. Oh, I think we should be okay with being a little unmanicured.
Langston Kerman
Oh, why?
Dwayne Perkins
Because I just think it enhances. It validates them. Like, if they know, like, you are coming back, like, supply and demand, the demand is too high so they don't have to change the prices. Cause, nigga, you gonna be there.
Langston Kerman
That's the truth. And that's. I mean, the frequency of haircuts I get is why there's so much pressure on starting a new relationship. I mean, it's not dating, but I'm going to see you more frequently than any other service. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'll see my doctor every other week. You know, like, it's like you spend.
David Bore
A lot of time with this person.
Langston Kerman
I'm gonna be there. Oh, we're gonna. This is a new relationship. This is a new relationship.
Dwayne Perkins
And I recognize that, like, my information may be biased. Cause I just talked to more black people. But, like, I don't know other races who get their haircut as often as black men. Like, I know a lot of my black friends. It's like weekly. They're just like, every week. I kind of have, like, a standing appointment and get my hair cut.
David Bore
Yeah. A week and a half is about right for me.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a big chunk.
Langston Kerman
Two's a little too much.
Dwayne Perkins
That's a lot to, like, commit to. And yet we do it without, like, a lot of question. And I think that creates an environment that allows people to continue to do. Do crazy things.
David Bore
Whoa. You're saying that the power is in our hands?
Dwayne Perkins
Yes.
David Bore
For the change that we want to see.
Langston Kerman
In a perfect world, if I was the man I would want to be, I would know how to touch my own shit up. And then I would not have to. But the few times I've tried, I've failed so miserably that the experimentation isn't worth the risk. I hate fucking my shit up and then having to cut it all off. I fuck my beard up.
David Bore
Oh. And you really had to, like, go clean, nigga.
Langston Kerman
Out here looking like Harriet Tubman.
Dwayne Perkins
I think what we're getting at, the underlying issue is that here's the most.
David Bore
Crazy.
Dwayne Perkins
Of all the people.
Langston Kerman
Fuck.
Dwayne Perkins
I just think we need generally, I think black men. We're cosplaying as being brave, but we're not actually brave. Cause if you was brave, you could handle being a little ugly for a little bit.
Langston Kerman
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
And we kind of mask that in this kind of constant need to, like, have an aesthetic. Not knowing that that's actually the gayest thing you could do.
Langston Kerman
Oh, yeah. For sure. But you need to.
Dwayne Perkins
That's why the barbershop is very gay. And so that goes back to the thing and being like, this is a, like, typically gay experience that we are trying to pretend is something else.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Therefore it has reached it gone. It went too far to the other side. And being like, this is. This is straight land. And being like, who are you selling this to?
David Bore
Each other. We're jerking each other off and being like, you gay? Not me.
Dwayne Perkins
Exactly.
David Bore
It's a circle jerk.
Dwayne Perkins
And I'm like.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
And you make.
Dwayne Perkins
Because I'm saying I would enjoy it. You're doing it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Nah. You. You like this shit.
Langston Kerman
I don't like this shit.
David Bore
He got two fellas because. Because he's doing a good service. He can do two at once.
Dwayne Perkins
Exactly.
David Bore
Because he's a barber. He should be. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
So I think the. The key is just bravery. I think we. We have to be braver and okay with being uncomfortable.
Langston Kerman
I hear you. But I'm still trying to get my hair cut every nine to 10 days, bro. The more unkempt my hair is, the worse my behavior gets. And that's a fact throughout life. Cause in my early 20s, I was really wild and my shit was like, long and napped out and my beard was crazy and my behavior was nuts.
Dwayne Perkins
And let's dig a little deeper. Why do you think that was?
Langston Kerman
I think that I was pushing against societal boundaries because I found this thing in stand up comedy that I felt like was the edge of the norm and that I could really exist in this in a wild place. And I think I believed in the true spirit of what Bohemia was and living like a bohemian. But I do also think that looking at myself unkempt in the Mirror makes me feel unkempt.
David Bore
I've long desired. Yeah, I thought.
Langston Kerman
I ain't thought about it.
David Bore
I'm with you because I've long desired to be like one of them dudes who like, you know, them dudes you see on the street who just have their shirt off eating a mango.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah.
David Bore
You know what I mean? Just. They're unkempt, but they are gorgeous. They are sort of like. They are light living in front of you almost. Because they are just so one with the earth. I've always wanted to end up one of them motherfuckers. But every time I've attempted to like, for real grow my hair, I'm like, nope, that ain't you, big dog.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
You gonna keep your shirt on the whole time and this don't look right on you? Go ahead and cut that shit. And so similarly, I struggle to not want that. But maybe that's the brainwashing and maybe we gotta go through that.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I don't know, man. When I was like that, it was way more detrimental to everything I had going on than just keeping my shit cut. Like, I rocked with it for a minute. It's not good for getting shit done.
David Bore
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
Why not though? What changes? Just cause you got a haircut and you feel cuter, that kind of changes the vibe to that you move with.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
David Bore
You don't think. You don't think you.
Langston Kerman
You are cute right now. You got two barbers in a dangly earring. You can't come out here, be like, need to be rough. You don't think. If you didn't have this aesthetic, you would are immaculate.
Dwayne Perkins
But that's cuz I just had to go to a thing.
Langston Kerman
No, Dwayne, I known you a long time. I never, never seen you not fresh before.
David Bore
Yeah, you still stop what this is.
Langston Kerman
Come on.
Dwayne Perkins
But I'm gay. It's different, okay?
Langston Kerman
It's different.
Dwayne Perkins
Tried to trick us when I was straight.
Langston Kerman
Hold on. Listeners at home, do not listen to this man.
David Bore
He tried to trick you. He tried to trick us. And for a moment, he almost got us.
Langston Kerman
He almost got us.
David Bore
He almost got us.
Langston Kerman
I was feeling bad about my. I didn't like, maybe you got to get naps again.
David Bore
I was like, bro, it's all.
Dwayne Perkins
I'm trying to push this propaganda because even straight men are more uncapped. You know where they are less in the barbershop.
David Bore
Whoa.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you're just trying to get an appointment. You're trying to go every five days. That's what this all is.
Dwayne Perkins
Fixing the system.
David Bore
The best way to fix the system is to just eliminate the competition.
Langston Kerman
You're a devil and I like it. I like the way you play.
David Bore
That's true devil work.
Langston Kerman
I like the way you play. That was really good. You built it up from jump. And we thought we weren't progressive over here.
Dwayne Perkins
This is how you manipulate the master.
David Bore
This is Kaiser. So say he's gonna walk straight at the end. You ain't going to stop switching.
Langston Kerman
The beads are going to fall out.
Dwayne Perkins
He put on like a fitting this whole time. This is for my career. This is me to have a story. I'm going go out there. My girl's waiting for me in the car.
David Bore
She said, hurry up.
Langston Kerman
She wants to dick.
David Bore
All right, let's take a break. That was crazy. More, dude, more. My mama told me.
Langston Kerman
What kind of man would let this happen to his family? Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
On a story about the Murdochs. Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.
Langston Kerman
Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.
David Bore
It's only cheating if you get caught.
Langston Kerman
Hulu Original Series Murdoch Death in the Family New episodes Wednesdays on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bundle subscribers Terms apply Life's messy.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
We're talking spills, stains, pets and kids. But with Annabe, you never have to stress about messes again. @washablesofas.com Discover Annabe sofas, the only fully machined machine washable sofas inside and out. Starting at just $699. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers, allowing you to refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space today. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.
David Bore
I turned off news altogether.
Dwayne Perkins
I hate to say it, but I.
David Bore
Don'T trust much of anything.
Langston Kerman
It's the rage bait.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
It feels like it's trying to divide people.
David Bore
We got clear facts. Maybe we could calm down a little. NBC News brings you clear reporting. Let's meet at the Facts. Let's move forward from there. NBC News reporting for America.
Langston Kerman
If you're waiting for your AI to turn into ROI.
David Bore
And wondering how long.
Langston Kerman
You have to wait.
David Bore
Maybe you need to do more than wait.
Langston Kerman
Any business can use AI.
David Bore
IBM helps you use AI to change.
Langston Kerman
How you do business. Let's create smarter business. IBM.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
I actually am 1.4% Nigerian. African.
David Bore
I'm a sister. Okay.
Langston Kerman
I think you've heard everything she has to say.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
Who is that?
Langston Kerman
I don't know.
Dwayne Perkins
Just the lady we found a sister.
David Bore
Just the lady we found on the Internet.
Langston Kerman
Sometimes I Wonder if this.23andMe.
David Bore
All right.
Langston Kerman
This is gonna sound crazy.
David Bore
Yeah, go ahead, please.
Langston Kerman
Sometimes I feel like some countries are paying to juice the stats.
David Bore
Ooh, I never thought about that.
Langston Kerman
There's a lot of countries in Africa. It seems to always be a part Nigerian or, like, but it's never. Nobody's ever like, oh, they trace some of my ancestry back to Chad.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Or, like, Namibia.
David Bore
Yeah. I'm from the Congo.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. There's never anybody drc. It's like the same three countries in that big continent. And who would pay to juice their stats?
Dwayne Perkins
Everything is Brandon and propaganda.
Langston Kerman
The Nigerians. Yeah. Go with me.
David Bore
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
White people that think that they're from here.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
How do we get on even more?
David Bore
Yes. We. We got to become the most legitimate African. And how better to do that?
Dwayne Perkins
Anybody can be Nigerian.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
This actually.
David Bore
This is a pretty cool place to be from. They're.
Langston Kerman
You know what they're trying to do? Trying to take over the Native American spots. Like, it used to be white people. Like, I'm 1 8th Cherokee is about to be. I'm an 8th Igbo.
Dwayne Perkins
They said we're the original indigenous. Whoa, we're here.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
We actually. If you check the stats, we were here first.
Langston Kerman
So we went back and honestly, check the pie chart.
David Bore
We put a chair down. They moved in on our parking spot, but we was coming right back.
Langston Kerman
And honestly, if they could make the flip, good on them.
David Bore
I'm not mad at them.
Langston Kerman
No. I'm not mad at that at all.
Dwayne Perkins
I love a good rebrand. If you have the marketing tools, go for it 100%.
David Bore
I don't know that I believe any of the marketing as far as history of the world. Do you know what I mean? Like, I know of. Of the country. Absolutely. We know who the original people are here for sure. But, like, in the world, in terms of, like, what all these things used to be, I don't believe most of it.
Langston Kerman
That's why there's so many crazy history podcasts. They're like, oh, did you know this is actually what happened? And you're like, God damn.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Cause everybody just made their story up.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And some people are like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
David Bore
One dude murdered and. Or raped the entire world. Do you know what I mean? Like, we ain't never gonna get the real truth of nothing.
Langston Kerman
Nah.
David Bore
That's why they keep pointing at him. Him. They're like, nah, he was crazy. The rest of us are reasonable. Yeah. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A bunch of y' all were doing some nasty to become emperors and kings and. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Come on. You got a free country.
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
They said, look over there.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Yes.
Dwayne Perkins
I have 13 wives, and I beheaded all of them.
Langston Kerman
Look over there. Okay. My wife is my cousin.
David Bore
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
We're close.
Langston Kerman
Clearly, I'm the most fit to rule y'. All. Y' all too scared to your cousin.
David Bore
Yeah. That's bravery.
Langston Kerman
That's the true bravery.
David Bore
So what if our babies are hideous creatures, hideous little mutants? We think they should still rule over you. They. They know they can't do push ups. Shut up. Let them be king.
Langston Kerman
You gotta be nasty to get real power.
David Bore
You gotta be a nasty.
Langston Kerman
You gotta be nasty to get real power.
David Bore
So we're not ever gonna get. Get the truth of this shit. So, yeah, if they.
Langston Kerman
I only want to be middle rich. If I get middle rich. You don't hear from David. No.
Dwayne Perkins
What do you consider middle? Rich.
Langston Kerman
Enough to pass on to two to three children, but not have them be set for life, but have them have a true, decent, like, head start and to be able to have a family homestead in Sierra Leone.
Dwayne Perkins
Mm.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, like. Cause, like. Yeah.
David Bore
And by homestead, like, a pretty nice house out there that, like, is actually. You could retire there if you wish.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I'm already working on it, baby.
David Bore
Whoa.
Dwayne Perkins
You're building.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Bore
All right, let's do a voicemail.
Langston Kerman
Let's do a voicemail.
David Bore
Okay. This is gonna be fun. Let's start with this one. I think this is a good place to start. Langston, David. Love the pie. Got a conspiracy theory for you guys to chat about. Something that has been pretty mainstream now is people say that we live in a simulation. And I think that the way people are discussing or thinking about what they mean by we live in a simulation is incorrect. Oh. And that it's not that there's some aliens out there that are playing around with humans or that we're actually inside of some computer program, that this is a live simulation that's been happening for centuries and being run by people who are here living in the Simulation with us that you got a few families that are running the major things that control our world. Transportation, technology, media, health, food. And they are constantly tweaking and pushing dominoes to create storylines and to test things. And it started off small, centuries ago in different pockets of the world. And as those families grew and expanded, it became more connected globally. It's become a global simulation. I. I'm going to pause it there, but I think if I can pull something from this. It sounds like he's saying. Saying it's more practical. VFX instead of, like, the. The digital ones that we've been accusing it of.
Langston Kerman
Oh, yeah. Instead of a. Instead of. Instead of like, a hardware, software situation, it's like planet storylines and stuff like that to make people do.
David Bore
Yeah. They're, like, literally playing chess with. With our, like, bodies rather than them.
Dwayne Perkins
Like, it's like a board game instead of a computer game.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. They're getting a little sloppy. I think that's what's happening with this Trump shit. They're getting a little sloppy. They're letting it, like, bleed up. Like, it's like. Because I think to that point, a small group of people, there would usually have to be a sense of decorum. Like, it couldn't be ruthless in the way that Trump's, like, just, like, pillaging our country.
David Bore
Well, I think he's. What happens when a simulator breaks out of the rules.
Langston Kerman
You're saying that Trump is Neo.
David Bore
Sort of.
Langston Kerman
Okay, this is kidding.
David Bore
I think he's nasty.
Langston Kerman
Neo, yo.
David Bore
I think he's.
Langston Kerman
Let's go, Red Sage. How did all of this trouble begin? Living in America.
David Bore
I think he literally is the one for them that broke out of the rules and went, all of this is fucking icky. It's just nasty.
Langston Kerman
I'm with you on that.
Dwayne Perkins
I would say everything's for sale. Reagan was the first niece and that Trump is trying to recreate Neo. Trump is Agent Smith assimilating as Neo, like, in the third Matrix movie. Okay.
Langston Kerman
I like that because Reagan didn't. He put it all in place, but he didn't quite get, like, we're still. He put it. I feel like he set it up.
David Bore
I think he's closer to Morpheus than he is to Neo. Reagan. I think so. I think he is.
Langston Kerman
I don't like this anymore.
David Bore
I'm gonna be honest with you. I think that he is so much the. He is literally handing people pills.
Dwayne Perkins
He's the architect.
David Bore
He is the person that is telling everybody there's a world outside of where we are, but he Ain't the one that can create the world outside of where we are.
Langston Kerman
This is the funniest thing I ever heard. Because it's bad guy. Matrix. It's bad guy.
David Bore
This bad guy being, like, unplugged motherfuckers. We can be assholes.
Langston Kerman
And that makes sense. He's like, yo, I could fly in here, yo.
David Bore
He's like, y' all don't see it? I'm the buffiest guy.
Langston Kerman
I don't have to give a fuck.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
He said, I just know karate.
David Bore
He's like, bro, I'm the biggest. I'm the strongest. You know, My bitches are badder. It's not up for debate.
Dwayne Perkins
And ain't shit you could do about it.
Langston Kerman
He could. He's just lying. That's his superpower. And if you want to plug that, this. It's Epstein 5.
Dwayne Perkins
Just dodging the bullet.
Langston Kerman
You know what I'm saying?
David Bore
But look at him. He's going, if you unplug, you ain't got to do all that. Yo, just unplug with me. And you don't even have to worry about them files, baby.
Langston Kerman
Yo.
David Bore
Who cares? I know what they do out here. We all on an out island.
Langston Kerman
No, man, you're right.
David Bore
We don't need that list.
Langston Kerman
Unplug. Guys, this is the smartest conversation I've ever been a part of. I'm just.
David Bore
I like what this dude is saying.
Langston Kerman
That's. That's crazy.
David Bore
Okay, here we go. That we are really living in. But it's not some crazy technological thing or. Or some interdimensional thing, but just people who are. Are pushing things into motion and experimenting with our social connections, our food, our healthcare business, everything. So, yeah, that's what I think, that we are living in a simulation. But there's nothing too crazy. It's just people that are running it live and living in it with us. But, yeah, man, love the pod. Tell me what you think.
Langston Kerman
We gotta send this man a free T shirt.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah, I'm with that.
Langston Kerman
I'm with that. I'm with that completely.
Dwayne Perkins
Also, it makes sense. Like, I feel like the people are, like, just people with power and, like, government. Like, government is like. It's all an experiment. It's just people just doing shit and seeing, like, their response. That's why when I go to different countries, you can just see like, oh, the experiment is different here. When I went to Portugal, and they were just talking about, like, oh, things that happen in America don't happen here. Like, that is specifically an American thing that they're doing to see, like, oh, how does this affect the economy? When they gave all those black people syphilis, it was just to be like, what happened? Yeah, it's just. All just experimenting.
Langston Kerman
And we're the. I feel like we're the most. If we're talking about inversions of the Matrix, we're the most technologically, like, we're the most experimental. Wild ones. Like, those systems over there are like, the European systems are old and they've been in place for a long time. And we started some new shit over here where we're like, nah, we're going to go nuts.
David Bore
We're going to try everything.
Langston Kerman
We're going to go crazy.
Dwayne Perkins
That's what happened in the Matrix. They made a bunch of them, and then they didn't work. So they kept deleting them and making new versions.
David Bore
Because the new one, they said the.
Langston Kerman
Perfect ones, it didn't work. Like, the people rejected it. It has to be kind of bad.
David Bore
You need something to rail against, to be at war with. You need that to push you forward as a human being. Otherwise you just will cease to exist.
Dwayne Perkins
Mm.
David Bore
It makes me think so much about.
Langston Kerman
Hold on a second. Are you wearing a bitcoin ring?
Dwayne Perkins
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Now, this feels like you're a op. Wait a second. That feels a little bit.
David Bore
Drawing us in. Yo, this is great. This evil.
Langston Kerman
This is a bad guy.
David Bore
Yo, this is crazy.
Dwayne Perkins
We already talked about. You can't get power unless you're being nasty. You thought a black gay man from Chicago didn't have to be nasty to get where it was.
David Bore
Oh, this is a ragamuffin.
Langston Kerman
Hell, no. Dwayne Perkins, you are a smooth operator.
David Bore
This cleaned up the act, you know what I mean? He slicked that hair back and he.
Dwayne Perkins
Said, I'mma get these motherfuckers these knees that you distress.
Langston Kerman
And they got me.
David Bore
They got me, you Medusa, you.
Langston Kerman
Oh, man.
Dwayne Perkins
I couldn't beat them, so I joined them.
David Bore
This is wild, man.
Langston Kerman
And I don't even know if you're joking.
Dwayne Perkins
And you won't ever.
Langston Kerman
Oh, I don't think so.
Dwayne Perkins
That's the propaganda working.
David Bore
I will say that.
Dwayne Perkins
Is he comedian or is he not?
David Bore
I think a lot about what he's saying in terms of AI and the way that it's advanced so quickly. So, like, in our face, with so much active push against it, being like, this is the destruction of the planet. Like, everybody is very clear that we are heading towards something apocalyptic with this thing, that everybody keeps advancing, advancing, advancing. And that, to me, feels like some version Of a chess game Because I don't know how they could truly believe it's this apocalyptic and not fear it. The way that they move without, like, them obviously having some out for whatever this is.
Langston Kerman
Right. Or if you've hoarded the resources to know that you're gonna be above whatever.
David Bore
You know its potential and it's not actually gonna affect the upper echelon of society.
Langston Kerman
Right. Cause it is too many people.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
And I also think that, like, human nature moves us towards that. I think the more that I've gotten, like, the more money, the more access, the more ease, the more I'm able to think of life differently and be like, oh, what can I get from life that I couldn't have thought about because of all the other things that were oppressing me? And then when you get to a certain level at the top, I think that this is the next kind of exploration of I have everything. Can I outlive an apocalypse?
David Bore
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I think they're trying to get to the point of what is the limit of human nature? Because they've reached. They're at the pinnacle and they get to decide if you are. If there's nothing. If you are at the top of everything in the world, what else is there?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And in some ways, it's almost like such deep commitment to the experiment that they're not even going to see it in their lifetime. They're like, no, I just want to see if humans can survive.
Langston Kerman
Oh, that's nasty.
David Bore
Just in. In theory. So I'm going to help weigh. I'm going to help push us to that. And whatever happens, happens. But I want to know if that's.
Dwayne Perkins
The thing, because up to this point, the people at the top have successfully beat everything else.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
And so it's like, what is there?
Langston Kerman
And so these families he's speaking of, they've had it beat for a minute. They've had it beat long enough that of course they're searching to push past the bound. Like, there's no. I think that the thing about power or whatever, greed or whatever you call it is that there's no top tier. So it's like, why would they be content just, like, having the people subject after subjugated After a while, there's like something that they want past that, and I think. Which is probably to kill us all.
David Bore
And I think that's also why they're seeking eternal life in some form. Right, right. That, like, they're trying to figure out a way to make brain microchips. So microchip Live on forever so that they can bear witness.
Dwayne Perkins
Yes. Of, like, to what that creates.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Maybe that is the final evolution of man.
David Bore
Yeah. We're just gonna be inside of a shell, and then that shell will be our interpreter forever.
Dwayne Perkins
That's kind of what, like, Futurama is.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
The thing.
David Bore
Keep me wet and I'm good.
Langston Kerman
Apparently.
David Bore
As long as my head wet, I'm straight, I'm great.
Langston Kerman
Not me. I don't want to lose her forever at all.
David Bore
No. I have no interest.
Langston Kerman
I think the way that it would drive me crazy would be really destructive.
David Bore
I need an off ramp, baby.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. If I was going to live forever with, like, infinite power and stuff like that, I think I'd get really nasty.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah.
Dwayne Perkins
I don't know.
Langston Kerman
Because human life will. It'll matter less and less the more you see it expire. Like. You know what I mean? Like, your time here is finite so that all these interactions can be important. But, like, if I live five lifetimes, what the fuck do I give about somebody dying?
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. And I always feel like it's relative. At some point in my life, I really tried to stop killing bugs. It made me think about the human experience. And at what point do you start to dictate what life is important and what isn't?
Langston Kerman
Right? And I was like, are you a vegetarian?
Dwayne Perkins
Hmm. Okay. But that's the thing. I feel like.
David Bore
I'm not killing no more bugs. I don't give a fuck about fish.
Dwayne Perkins
The difference is I'm not killing them fishing. I'm benefiting from those fish dying. That's different from me killing the fish myself.
Langston Kerman
You don't wanna be an active participant.
Dwayne Perkins
Yeah. And then I'm not benefiting from killing these bugs outside of being like, why are you in my face, bug? So, like, sometimes I, like, take bugs and just take them outside. And I'm like, this is so stupid in part of me, like. Well, like, why get. Like, what. Like, what is that going to do for you to just, like, simply snuff out this life?
David Bore
I think about how many bumblebees I've killed in my life and how be. But, you know, when you're a kid, you're like, I don't like this thing.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
It will sting me, therefore, I will kill it. And I think now about how often we're reminded that bees are, like, ceasing to exist and how much I've contributed in some even small fraction of a fraction of a fraction to the ultimate death of this creature.
Dwayne Perkins
Because I can barely give a hand to like, how, like how the work that they do, like, how they help pollinate. And it is this whole circle of life shit that I think, if I think too deeply about. I'm like, oh, no, we're all serving apart. If you kill enough bees, then that kills flowers. You kill flowers, that kills this. And then now we can't breathe. Now we all dead.
David Bore
Yeah. I shut down a few local markets of bees. You know what I mean? Some real.
Dwayne Perkins
You were out here. Where are the bees that have the cat?
David Bore
I'm no Jeff Bezos.
Langston Kerman
Jabizo. Yeah. Is that how you say it? No, it's a bezo.
David Bore
Oh, okay.
Langston Kerman
No, I like that. No, you guys came too late. Thank you for being nice.
David Bore
I apologize.
Dwayne Perkins
You're doing. I had earlier, so I also wouldn't want to live forever, but I would like to be able to, like, chime in every now and again. Like in a hundred years, just have like a day to be like, oh, so this. What?
Langston Kerman
See, that's probably the best. Turn me on every now and then. Yeah. Just like I want make sure the engine still turns over.
David Bore
I want that cover Coco. I want to be in the afterlife. Chill. In the afterlife. Once a year, I get to go travel back.
Langston Kerman
Oh. Like die lo muerto.
David Bore
Eat a couple cakes, listen to a little bit of gossip. That's happening. And I go back to the afterlife.
Langston Kerman
That's a good way to look at it. I like that. That's a really good point.
Dwayne Perkins
I want that cocoa like a quick little seance. And you back.
David Bore
Come on. Hey, y'. All. Ah, thanks for remembering me, Doc.
Dwayne Perkins
You're crazy.
David Bore
That's real cool.
Dwayne Perkins
Y' all get trees no more. That's crazy. Okay, bye.
David Bore
You still got a haircut, though.
Langston Kerman
That's good.
Dwayne Perkins
Bar still lasting.
David Bore
They still homophobic.
Dwayne Perkins
Damn.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
It didn't work.
Dwayne Perkins
More ugly.
David Bore
I think we did it.
Langston Kerman
I think, yeah, we did something that was really fun. You're the best hero villain we've ever had on here.
David Bore
I would say so. I've never been more on someone's side and then terrified of them in sequence.
Langston Kerman
You know what I think it is? You never raised your tone.
Dwayne Perkins
That is my favorite way to have an argument as well. I think that's the most effective way. I'm not gonna raise my voice. I will actually lower my voice and get really close and be like, who the fuck are you talking to?
David Bore
Okay.
Dwayne Perkins
And it really. It has a different effect. It's.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
Cause, like, we're screaming all the time. We get so excessively me. I Get so excited.
David Bore
Well, that's because we're weak men. We don't know how to do the manipulative sort of alpha shit that he's doing. You know what I mean? Like, we are, we think, right? That's strong. He's on some different shit.
Langston Kerman
No, no, no. That's how we almost got us twice. And he might still have got us.
David Bore
I honestly don't know that we escaped his clutches.
Dwayne Perkins
That's. We won't know until later. You're gonna process it and be like.
David Bore
Damn, damn, he got me.
Langston Kerman
I tell you what, I don't listen to the show for shit. I'm gonna listen to this one. I'll leave it in the room. Baby.
Dwayne Perkins
My pen is working.
David Bore
I'mma go home, lift up my shirt and be like, damn, I got bit. And no, I'm not going to tell my wife. Just going to go crazy one day and she'll be like, oh fuck.
Dwayne Perkins
This is great. This is lovely.
David Bore
Tell the people where they can find you. What you got going on?
Dwayne Perkins
You can find me on the Internet. I think my social media is like Dwayne Perkins. That's D E, W A Y N E, D E. There's another Dwayne. Yeah, that's not me. D E. But yeah, I be there. I be doing stuff. I be calling somebody sometimes.
David Bore
Hell yeah.
Langston Kerman
What you got cool guy jokes87 on Instagram. Watch my special Birth of a nation with A G on YouTube on 800 pound gorilla now. That's it. You know, that's it.
David Bore
Hell yeah. You can follow me, Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can see me on the Aspiring Deadbeat tour right now. I'm, I'm in cities coming up. I'm in cities currently. I don't know, go ahead and check it all out@langston kerman.com and more importantly, if you want to send us your own messages, your own thoughts, if you want to tell us the first non homophobic barber that you've ever met, send it all to mymamapodmail.com. give us a call at 844-LIL-Moms. Buy the merch. Like subscribe rate, review, do whatever the fuck you need to do to make us, us more popular. This is a selfish, selfish game. Bye.
Langston Kerman
Not only do I want you, but I need that. You understand? I need that. And I suck on your ass like a goddamn neck bone. Oh, pig's foot.
David Bore
I need that.
Langston Kerman
I want that. And, and baby, just take a little time and come and, and visit Black Beaters University and I introduce you to some you ain't never seen before.
David Bore
My is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcast.
Langston Kerman
Created and hosted by Langston Kirman, co.
David Bore
Hosted by David Bore, executive produced by.
Langston Kerman
Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co.
David Bore
Produced by Bay Wayne edited and engineered.
Langston Kerman
By Justin Cotton music by Nick Chambers artwork by Dogon Krieger.
David Bore
You can now watch episodes of My Mama T told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.
Langston Kerman
This is Alec Murdoch.
David Bore
I need police and an ambulance immediately.
Podcast Advertiser/Announcer
Murdoch Death in the Family Official Podcast is here. I'm joining Patricia Arquette, Jason Clark and the cast to uncover all things murder Murdoch Family first To unravel the story piece by piece was really surprising because you don't want to believe it. Murdoch Death in the Family Official Podcast Wednesdays and stream Murdoch Death in the Family on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers terms apply.
David Bore
Get ready to power up your play with Nintendo Switch 2. Power up the visuals with 4K support and a bigger, more vivid screen. Power of the fun with exclusive new games like Mario Kart World and Donkey Kong bonanza. Nintendo Switch 2 all together anytime anywhere. Games rated E to E10 plus games and systems sold separately compatible TV required.
Langston Kerman
For 4K display Wednesday at 109 Central on BET and all new episodes of 106 in Sports from executive producers LeBron James and Maverick Carter. It's a new top five countdown with hosts Ashley Nicole Moss and Cam Newton. They're breaking down the top moments in sports, culture and entertainment and highlighting both established pros and the stars on the come up. Watch the all new series 106 in sports Wednesday at 109 Central on BET or catch up the next day on bet. This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names. Fantasy football can be exhausting. I mean that literally.
David Bore
You're so anxious over your lineup you can't fall asleep.
Langston Kerman
Best way to deal with it is unisom.
David Bore
There's a reason it's the number one doctor recommended over the counter sleep aid brand. It helps you fall asleep faster, wake.
Langston Kerman
Up less and feel refreshed in the morning. Plus unisom sleep tabs are clinically tested.
Dwayne Perkins
Tested and proven, effective and completely non habit forming.
David Bore
So make the ultimate sleeper pick and.
Langston Kerman
Put it to bed with unisom. Use as directed. This is an I Heart podcast.
In this lively and insightful episode of "My Momma Told Me," comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by the hilarious and sharp Dewayne Perkins (comedian, writer, actor known for "The Blackening" and more) for a deep dive into the Black barbershop: why homophobia persists in that space, whether it’s solvable, and how the hyper-masculine rituals of the barbershop shape Black male identity and intimacy. The group explores personal stories, Black “conspiracy theories,” masculinity, economic realities, and, of course, some wild banter about haircuts, childhood traumas, and being “fresh.” Dewayne proposes both a social critique and a path to evolution for the barbershop.
(18:10 – 22:38)
(20:43 – 23:48; 55:22 – 56:16)
(35:38 – 44:43)
(50:00 – 53:03)
(53:28 – 56:16)
(68:01 – 78:52)
This episode is a fast-moving, hilarious, and honest analysis of barbershop culture as a microcosm of Black masculinity, stigma, and community. Dewayne Perkins brings both humor and sharp critique, playfully exposing the contradictions of Black male spaces and pushing the hosts toward genuine, sometimes uncomfortable, self-reflection.
The episode’s tone is irreverent, conspiratorial, and intimate—perfect for fans who love their “conspiracy theories” served with a side of real talk and wild laughter.
“If you just try some gay shit and really don’t like it, then you can kind of just sit in that…it’s not that deep.” — Dewayne Perkins (36:18)
“The barbershop is very gay. And so that goes back to being like, this is a, like, typically gay experience we are trying to pretend is something else.” — Dewayne Perkins (55:52)
For more: