Devil's Pose: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Devil's Pose: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)
Title: My Momma Told Me
Host/Authors: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
Release Date: March 27, 2025
Network: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

---

Introduction to the Mini Episode ([02:07] - [04:35])

In this re-released mini episode of "My Momma Told Me," comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie dive into a lighter yet thought-provoking discussion on Black conspiracy theories. The hosts set the stage by acknowledging the episode's brevity while promising an engaging exploration of the topics at hand.

Langston:
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode, a mini episode of My Mama."
([02:17])

David:
"The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove the conspiracy theories that you, the listener, the little mamas and gentiles alike have at home."
([02:34])

---

Reading and Discussing Aaliyah's Email on "Satan's Yoga" ([05:04] - [19:38])

The core of the episode revolves around an email from a listener named Aaliyah, who introduces a unique conspiracy theory linking yoga practices to satanic influences. Aaliyah shares insights from her grandmother, a Southern Black woman and later a Jehovah's Witness, who believes that yoga and meditation open pathways to satanic entities.

Aaliyah's Email Excerpt:
"One day, after watching a commercial about yoga clothes, she went on a rant about how doing yoga is evil, and if you meditate, you will mess around and open up your mind so much, you will let Satan in."
([07:07])

Langston:
"I reject it all."
([18:08])

David:
"I think he’s just watching ladies bend over. And I think he’s got a toothpick."
([20:00])

---

Analysis of the Conspiracy Theory: Meditation and Satanism ([07:52] - [19:38])

Langston and David dissect Aaliyah's grandmother's claims, debating the validity and implications of associating yoga and meditation with satanic practices. They explore the tension between spiritual practices and religious beliefs, particularly within the context of Jehovah's Witnesses.

David's Critique:
"The idea of, like, if you meditate or you do yoga, you're gonna open your mind so much. So that's what, like, I don't like. It's like, I like the idea that an open mind is what leads to the devil. That means God wants you to have a closed mind."
([08:12])

Langston's Perspective:
"A God that encourages you to sort of live in a bubble is not a God that you recognize well."
([08:50])

The hosts express skepticism towards the notion that spiritual openness inherently invites malevolent forces, emphasizing the importance of personal belief systems and discernment.

---

Personal Experiences with Yoga and Spirituality ([10:33] - [15:31])

Langston shares his personal stance on engaging with spiritual activities, highlighting his reluctance to partake in practices like Ouija boards or haunted houses due to fears of attracting negative energies. David relates with his experiences at haunted houses, injecting humor and relatability into the conversation.

Langston:
"I don't mess around with haunted houses... I recognize what she's saying to simply mean, like, seek it and you shall find it in both good and bad ways."
([10:33])

David:
"I've had it where your riff was 15 minutes."
([03:58])

They further discuss the commercialization of yoga in America, critiquing its departure from traditional spiritual roots and its adoption as a fitness trend devoid of deeper meaning.

Langston:
"A lot of what yoga is in America is just a sort of like cherry-picking of other people's cultural identities and like, their actual spirituality."
([13:30])

---

Transition to Dance and Vulnerability ([21:05] - [23:30])

The conversation shifts to a more personal and humorous territory as Langston and David reminisce about dance moves and the vulnerability associated with performing them. Langston expresses his fears about executing dance moves in public, fearing failure and the potential embarrassment it could cause.

Langston:
"I worry that I would fall down. I worry that I don't even make it the full 360, and now I'm just a dude who tried something and it failed."
([21:56])

David:
"Have you ever been in a dance battle? This might be its own episode."
([24:36])

This segment highlights the hosts' ability to blend personal anecdotes with broader thematic discussions, maintaining engagement through relatability and humor.

---

Discussion on Dance Battles in High School ([24:36] - [27:49])

Langston delves into his high school dance battle experiences, particularly his contests with a peer named Dom Perignon. He recounts the intensity and competitiveness of these battles, illustrating the fervor and passion he had for dance during his youth.

Langston:
"Dom was a great dancer, man. I don't know that I won any of the, you know, the championship of those battles, but he. I was honored to be a participant."
([27:04])

David:
"Lil mamas, if you guys could... I don't think he left."
([26:56])

The hosts muse over the nostalgia and the timeless nature of dance as both an art form and a form of personal expression, tying it back to their overarching theme of exploring belief systems and personal convictions.

---

Conclusion and Final Thoughts ([27:49] - [28:50])

As the episode draws to a close, Langston reiterates his stance on rejecting what he perceives as superficial spiritual practices that lack genuine depth or connection. The hosts reflect on the importance of authenticity in spiritual endeavors and the dangers of blindly following misconstrued beliefs.

Langston:
"If that's the case, I think more of us should be worshiping the devil. He sounds like a cool guy, and I'm into him."
([20:54])

David:
"Yeah, I think that's reasonable."
([19:38])

Langston:
"We want to talk to you. Bye, bitch."
([28:25])

The episode wraps up with the usual sign-offs, encouraging listeners to engage with the hosts through social media and contribute their own conspiracy theories, maintaining an open channel for future discussions.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Langston:
  "A God that encourages you to sort of live in a bubble is not a God that you recognize well." ([08:50])

• David:
  "If you try to commit to a spin and it doesn't work, that'd be bad." ([21:15])

• Langston:
  "How the devil is lurking? I have no idea." ([12:39])

• David:
  "One man's cuckoo is another man's Cocoa Puffs." ([07:07])

• Langston:
  "I don't think the devil's sitting on a mat being like, yeah, finally got that bitch." ([19:56])

---

Key Takeaways

• Critical Examination of Beliefs: The hosts encourage listeners to critically evaluate the origins and implications of their spiritual practices, questioning the blending of cultural traditions with modern interpretations.

• Authenticity in Spirituality: Emphasizing the importance of genuine engagement with spiritual activities, Langston and David caution against adopting practices superficially without understanding their deeper meanings.

• Personal Vulnerability: Through discussions about dance and personal fears, the hosts highlight the universal nature of vulnerability and the courage it takes to express oneself authentically.

• Humor and Relatability: Balancing serious discussions with humor, the hosts maintain an engaging and relatable tone, ensuring the content is both entertaining and thought-provoking.

---

Connect with the Hosts:

• David: Follow Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram
• Langston: Follow Langston Kerman on Social Media
• Submit Theories: Send your conspiracy theories to [e-mail] or call 844-LIL-MOMS

Stay tuned for more episodes where Langston and David continue to explore and debunk intriguing conspiracy theories with their signature humor and insight.

Transcript

[David]

Pro Savings Days are back at Lowe's with limited time savings on the supplies pros need. Get up to 40% off select major appliances plus save an additional $100 on every $1,000 you spend on select major appliances. And don't miss your chance to activate and earn three times the points on select DeWalt and Klein tools Lowes. We help you save Valo. The 328 selection varies by location while supplies last. See associate or lowes.com for more details on qualifying items.

[California Psychics]

When you haven't found love, it can feel like everyone else has. It's in every movie, every song, and all the PDA looking for love sucks. Thankfully, California Psychics can give you the guidance you need to find the one. We guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free and new customers receive 20 minutes for just $20. Visit californiapsychics.com and experience the joy of certainty.

[Langston]

California Psychics I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw.com hi, this is Shirley Strawberry and you know, sometimes you just need to slow down and enjoy the good things and they don't get much better than the all new 2025 Nissan Murano. I mean, it's literally designed to help you relax and re energize, which is so important. Between the 64 color options of the Murano's ambient mood lighting and the Bose premium sound system playing your favorite music, it's like your own personal oasis. Drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano today and ambient lighting and bows are optional. Features.

[David]

Motherfucking Mini Episode Mini Episode Motherfucking mini Episode.

[Langston]

What would you do if your son was at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode, a mini episode of My Mama.

[David]

Told Me the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

[Langston]

Theories and we finally work to prove the conspiracy theories that you, the listener, the little mamas and gentiles alike have at home. This is a motherfucking mini episode.

[David]

I would have been swallowed up. Have you ever been swallowed up? Have you Gone through a time of swallowing where everything was overwhelming.

[Langston]

You know what's upsetting about that one is the visuals. It's so long. Yeah, it's so long. He just keeps saying it. He won't stop. And it's like, bro, you gotta stop.

[David]

But as someone who's been in flow state before, like, you see him and you're like, yep, that's how it'd be. Like that. Like when you just can't miss. So you're just going crazy.

[Langston]

He was cooking too hard.

[David]

Yeah, I've done it. You probably had sets like that where you're like, oh, I could say anything and it's gonna work. Now I'm going nuts, you know?

[Langston]

No, there are times, and it's the reason I despise the crowd work clips that our art form has sort of devolved into. But there are times when you're, like, engaging with an audience in such a funny, sincere way that it goes on for like minutes.

[David]

I've had it where you're like, oh, shit, that riff was 15 minutes.

[Langston]

Yeah, it's just a long ass time. And that's not cuttable. You know what I mean? Like, that's not a thing that you can chop up and make into like a thing you offer up to an audience.

[David]

Oh, yeah, that's why don't ever trust a 5 second crowd work clip. It's not real. Yeah, it wasn't that funny. Five seconds. What are you talking.

[Langston]

They had a big laugh and then it stopped really fast because they didn't know how to keep going.

[David]

Yeah, yeah. It was like somebody said one interesting thing. Anyways, we're not here to talk about stand up comedy. We're not.

[Langston]

It stinks. And the art that I love has become something that I barely recognize. But that's not the point of this podcast. This podcast, especially today, we're talking to you, the listener. We're reading your emails, we're engaging with your thoughts, your suggestions. And we got an email from a person named Aaliyah. L I y.

[David]

Just like the singer got cheap personality, jazz mentality. Oh, man.

[Langston]

Anyways, I miss her.

[David]

I do too, man.

[Langston]

She was great. We all miss her.

[David]

Nothing, Nothing. I wish they had. Anyways. I just. Sometimes I feel like somebody needed to take care of that little girl. Like, you know, yeah, she was, like, bounced around to a lot of men. It feels like dark.

[Langston]

Yeah, no, I think that's 100% true of a person who maybe needed somebody just to look out for in a way that she never really got by the end of it.

[David]

So you want to read an email?

[Langston]

No, let's just have a moment of silence now. Let's just sit in that feeling for a second.

[David]

It was two seconds too late. I'm sorry.

[Langston]

That's okay. We got an email from a person named Aaliyah, who sent us a subject line. Satan's Yoga. Satan's Yoga. She says, hi, David and Langston, longtime listener, back again with another conspiracy. This one actually comes from my grandmother, a southern black woman who later in life became a Jehovah's Witness one day. Later in life, she started that shit. Later in life?

[David]

It makes more sense than starting it earlier in life. Like, you can't convert to Jehovah's Witness in, like, your mid 20s.

[Langston]

I don't picture early in life being your mid 20 conversions. I picture early in your life meaning you grew up in the Jehovah's Witness.

[David]

Oh, but she converted, she said.

[Langston]

Right? And I'm saying that converting to Jehovah's Witness is a silly thing.

[David]

You've already had some birthdays.

[Langston]

Yeah. You know what Christmas feels like. What the fuck are you gear shifting back for?

[David]

Taking that away from your children, you monster.

[Langston]

Yeah, no, that's an odd fucking choice. So you want to go door to door? Okay.

[David]

Anyways, I'm sure your grandma's a sweet woman. Aaliyah or nuts? I don't know.

[Langston]

Hard to say, but I'm leaning towards the latter.

[David]

One man's cuckoo is another man's Cocoa Puffs.

[Langston]

One day, after watching a commercial about yoga clothes, she went on a rant about how doing yoga is evil, and if you meditate, you will mess around and open up your mind so much, you will let Satan in. I understood her to mean meditating can be a pathway to connect with Satan. Similarly, how praying is a way to connect with God. I grew up going to church as well as the Kingdom hall, so I am conflicted. I believe in spirits and have an ancestor altar myself. So just as there is a way to channel the good spirits, there has to be a way to channel the bad ones. I'm interested in hearing what you gu. Think best, Aliyah.

[David]

Well, Aaliyah, I think you're a witch, and I rebuke thee in the name of the one true Lord. No, I think that. So here's what I don't like about this. Right.

[Langston]

Yeah.

[David]

The idea of, like, if you meditate or you do yoga, you're gonna open your mind so much. So that's what, like, I don't like. It's like, I Like the idea that an open mind is what leads to the devil. That means God wants you to have a closed mind. That means he's like reductive as fuck and does not want you to open you up to whatever your true potential is. He doesn't want you to be free. And that's not like the God. That's not like a God I'm trying to serve.

[Langston]

Right. A God that encourages you to sort of live in a bubble is not a God that you, you recognize well.

[David]

Just like, yeah, any type of, like, don't open your mind is a great, like, really think about what you're saying within that. That's like, that's terrible. Nobody, okay. Nobody ever leave your small town. Don't ever try to do something that no one in your family did. Like, don't ever push for anything then. You know what I'm saying? Don't open your mind. That's fucking. That's like, that's. That's trash. And I would argue, I don't think that God is like, I don't think the God of Abraham. I don't, I don't know if that is what he's pushing.

[Langston]

I will say that, that I myself read this to mean something slightly different. Although I do agree with your sentiment that, that if this is about just sort of keeping people close minded, then that feels reductive and not at all like a progress or even a. A love that is suggested to be shared by the God above us, whatever. That said, I thought about my relationship with like, spirits and in a lot of ways this tracks for me of like, I don't fuck around with Ouija boards. I don't fuck around with like, haunted houses. Like, genuine haunted houses. I'll go to a play one, whatever.

[David]

But what do you mean by that? What do you mean by genuine haunted houses?

[Langston]

Like, you know how like, some people will be like, oh, this hotel is haunted. We should stay there. I won't. Do you know what I mean?

[David]

Yeah, you're very serious right now.

[Langston]

Like, no, no, no, I will not. And I will choose. I have the resources to choose differently and I will, like, I don't need that feeling and I'm not interested in exploring it just because it's like novel or cute.

[California Psychics]

Right?

[David]

But you'll go to like a haunted.

[Langston]

House, like, like a silly one where I know adults are being paid minimum wage to hide around a corner with chainsaws that don't work properly.

[David]

Cause I went to one of those. Me and my girl went to one of those over At Halloween. And that was fun.

[Langston]

Yeah, no, that's a good time. I like that.

[David]

Except they tried to play me. They tried to play me a little bit.

[Langston]

What happened, man?

[David]

So we went to the haunted house, and then there was like, if you pay, like an extra, they, like, take you to a secret bar in there and give you a shot during the haunted house.

[Langston]

Oh.

[David]

So we went and we went to the secret bar and this nigga, bro, he was pouring drinks and he poured my girl one and he poured me one. He was like, you look scared as hell. I was like, I'm not scared, though.

[Langston]

Yeah, yeah. He thought he could cuck you a little bit.

[David]

He was trying to cuck me?

[Langston]

Yeah.

[David]

Oh, you. You look. She looks like she's having fun. You look scared. It's a children's playhouse.

[Langston]

I look like I'm not about to tip your ass.

[David]

I look like I don't work at the fucking. Fucking haunted house because I can't make child support. That's what I look. I look like I fucking took a Uber black here.

[Langston]

You broke, boy?

[David]

I didn't. She drove. She drove.

[Langston]

I was about to say, why. Why are you taking Uber blacks to the haunted house?

[David]

I've actually never taken an Uber black. I was trying to impress you guys.

[Langston]

Nah, it worked, I thought. But no, I try not to mess around with sort of like dark spirits and ghosts and all kinds of things out of fear that I do think it welcomes some of that into your world that, like, if you go seeking that shit, you will find something, even if that something you find is just made up in your own head. And so in that way, I recognize what she's saying to simply mean, like, seek it and you shall find it in both good and bad ways. Now, why the fuck yoga is her passion for where Satan is lurking? I have no idea.

[David]

Here's what I'm gonna say.

[Langston]

Yep.

[David]

This is having lived, I've lived among the woo woos, you know what I mean? I lived in San Francisco, Big witch country, Los Angeles, also. Big witch country. If you're far away and you don't quite know, I understand how these yoga ladies and men could seem like they were into some evil shit, you know what I mean? Just, like glancing and being like, what are they doing over here? They're dressed all wacky. They're burning sage and shit. It could feel like some witchcraft for sure.

[Langston]

Yeah, I will say that to that point downward dog.

[David]

What is that?

[Langston]

That ain't doggy style.

[David]

I'll tell you that where I come from. Dogs stand upright.

[Langston]

Hey, shake your hand like a man.

[David]

Look you in the.

[Langston]

I will say that to that point, a lot of what yoga is in America is just a sort of like cherry picking of other people's cultural identities and like, their actual spirituality. And so in that way, it does feel like sort of a false manipulation of spirituality, right? That, like, the shit that we recognize as yoga is not what they were doing when Indians invented the shit. You know what I mean? It's just some shit that like some white women took and then like, decided to take some words and leave some words behind. In certain poses, yes. Certain ones, no. And that, that is not. Not sort of like fucking around with spirituality in a. In a messed up way.

[David]

I think it does lead to this whole idea of, like, that's why I don't like people when they say they're just, I'm spiritual. Because it's like, pick a discipline.

[Langston]

Yeah.

[David]

You know, you gotta commit, commit to something. You're loosey goosey. Then you might as well just be agnostic. Like, what does that mean? I think this could be true and that you need rules. There needs to be some sort of rules. It is.

[Langston]

It is the one part of the Bible more than any other part that I think I most connect with where it talks about God not wanting you to be lukewarm. That like a lukewarm person is maybe the worst person you could be. That you gotta be hot or cold. Either believe in something or don't believe in something. But, like, kind of fucking around in the middle is like, dangerous and frankly, just condescending to the fundamentals of the actual belief.

[David]

Don't stand for anything, you'll fall for something, yeah. Don't stand for something, you'll fall for, yeah.

[Langston]

You ain't get it right.

[David]

Fool me twice, you ain't gonna fool me again.

[Langston]

You can't fool me again.

[David]

I'd rather on my feet than stand on my knees.

[Langston]

I was getting some head, getting some head.

[David]

Knock if you buck.

[Shirley Strawberry]

You know, when the world gets a little crazy and everything is moving too fast, don't you just wish you could get away from all of it for a while? Well, that's exactly what the all new 2025 Nissan Murano can do for you. And to be clear, you don't even have to go anywhere. The Murano is the getaway. It was designed from the ground up to be a refuge from the daily grind. I mean, it has a Bose premium sound system which can play your favorite, most relaxing music. And there's nothing like a World class audio system to just transport you to a better headspace. Then there's the Murano's massaging leather appointed seats. Yeah, massaging seats. Talk about melting away your stress. So could getting stuck in traffic become your happy place? I don't know. It sounds like it could in the all new Murano. You should probably check one out for yourself. You gotta drive the all new 2025 Nissan Murano today. Bows and massaging leather appointed seats are optional features.

[Intuit QuickBooks]

It's tax season and by now. I know we're all a bit tired of numbers, but here's an important one you need to hear. $16.5 billion. That's how much money in refunds the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Here's another 20%. That's the overall increase in identity theft related to tax fraud in 2024 alone. But it's not all grim news. Here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, LifeLock's US based restoration specialists will fix it. Backed by another good number, the million dollar protection plan. In fact, restoration is guaranteed or your money back. Don't face identity theft and financial losses alone. There's strength in numbers with Lifelock identity theft protection for tax season and beyond. Join now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.

[David]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real.

[Langston]

And so is the relief from EBGLIS.

[David]

After an initial dosing phase of 16.

[Langston]

Weeks, about 4 in 10 people taking.

[David]

EBGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin.

[Langston]

And most of those people maintain skin.

[David]

That'S still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

[Intuit QuickBooks]

EBGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250mg 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults in children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Ebglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection searching for real relief.

[David]

Ask your doctor about epglis and visit epgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-LilyRx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Langston]

Good news. Your favorite Caribbean beaches are on [e-mail] cheapcaribbean.com is your go to website for finding the best deals on all inclusive vacation packages. They're all about getting you more sand for your dollar. Check out their beach favorite sale to score $175 instant savings on bookings of four nights or more to the Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Arub, Bahamas. Offer ends April 1st. Go to CheapCaribbean.com to start saving. Yeah, I think you gotta believe in something. And so for Aaliyah's grandmother, I think in some ways she's like, well, these people are being lukewarm, spiritual, sort of like cherry pickers. And I don't like that. And that seems like that's of the devil, that is of Satan. And so I reject it all.

[David]

Yeah, I think that's reasonable.

[Langston]

Yeah. So I don't agree, per se, that like, Aaliyah, if it makes you feel better, I think you can do as much yoga as you want. I don't think the devil's sitting on a mat being like, yeah, finally got that bitch. Yeah, finally.

[David]

I mean, I think that's exactly what I think he's doing.

[Langston]

You think he's hanging out in yoga studios?

[David]

I think he's just watching ladies bend over.

[Langston]

If that's the case, you're only selling me on the devil.

[David]

I think he's got a toothpick.

[Langston]

Yeah. Okay. Oh, somebody's limber.

[David]

Yeah. Look at that child's pose. That probably should have been the one, I think.

[Langston]

Don't look like no child to me.

[David]

Yeah. Look like a woman pose.

[Langston]

I look like grown woman pose to me.

[David]

Look like how a woman posed to be.

[Langston]

Maybe that's what the devil is doing. And if that's the case, I think more of us should be worshiping the devil. He sounds like a cool guy, and I'm into him.

[David]

Langston's gone full 360. I'm fucking it up.

[Langston]

Nah, I did a spin move.

[David]

Damn. That's pretty cool. Have you ever done a spin on the dance floor?

[Langston]

When I was a high. When I was in high school, I was a dancing ass. Kid. And so, yeah, I used to do. I used to do shit. And now as an adult, I couldn't possibly. I can't even imagine attempting it.

[David]

Yeah, I can't imagine. That would be crazy. It would be cool.

[Langston]

It would be cool. But, you know, I live with a constant fear that it won't work now if it doesn't.

[David]

Like, if you try to commit to a spin and it doesn't work. Yeah, that'd be bad. And, like, you're dancing with your wife or something.

[Langston]

It can only ruin my family.

[David]

Yeah. Is it like. Is it that you worry that you will fall down?

[Langston]

I worry about it all. I worry that I would fall down. I worry that I don't even make it the full 360, and. And now I'm just a dude who tried something and it failed. You know what I mean? Like, there's just so much vulnerability when people are counting on you that you.

[David]

Is that how you feel about the dance floor?

[Langston]

Yeah, there's motherfuckers counting on me, man. I can't.

[David]

My baby needs this.

[Langston]

Yeah. My baby just needs me to keep being consistent. I can't. And now. And now I could go viral. Imagine. Imagine your father going viral because he tried to do a spin move and.

[David]

It didn't work at the JFL after party.

[Langston]

Come on. And now everybody's like, bro, my daughter's going to school and they're making fun of her because her father failed.

[David]

That's. That's fair.

[Langston]

People are counting on me. I can't risk it.

[David]

No, I. Listen, I also am conservative on the dance floor. You know what I mean? I'm a Biden in the streets, but I'm a Trump in the shit.

[Langston]

There was that run where those kids were doing that sideways moonwalk. That, like, airwalk shit.

[David]

Oh, the Usher. Usher is the first place to do it.

[Langston]

Yeah, well, no, not that sideways moonwalk. That one I learned to do when I was the. In high school. I could still do that shit. Sidewalk, moonwalk, walk.

[David]

Walk.

[Langston]

Yeah, I'm talking about that shit where you're like. They're like, skipping sideways.

[David]

Oh, that one's fun. Yeah, I like that one.

[Langston]

The amount of times I practiced that alone in my home and realized, like, I don't think I'm in a position to take this into a public space and be successful.

[David]

Really?

[Langston]

Yeah.

[David]

Cause that one seems easier than the sideways moon one.

[Langston]

It is not. It's just so unnatural to the way that I move that. I don't think I've ever figured out a way to make it not look.

[David]

Like it's like a pacing thing.

[Langston]

Yeah. It's just you look gumpy and fucking weird. Or you look awesome. And I don't know that I ever looked awesome, so I chose never to bring it out.

[David]

Yeah, I tried to learn the sneeze once. The same thing.

[Langston]

Yeah. You just gotta. You gotta realize, like, these Ls are not worth taking after a while.

[David]

That's fair.

[Langston]

When I was 15, if I didn't do a move. Good. So you know what I mean? Like, what are the repercussions here?

[David]

Wait. Can I ask you a serious question?

[Langston]

Yeah.

[David]

Have you ever been in a dance battle?

[Langston]

I've been in many a dance battle, yeah.

[David]

This might be its own episode. Ok. Do you have footage?

[Langston]

I hope not. I hope there's no lingering footage of any dance battles I was in. I pre. You know, thank God. I think we predated camera phones.

[David]

We? What was the group called?

[Langston]

No, I wasn't in, like, group dance battles. I was, like, dance battles at, like, parties and shit.

[David]

Oh, excuse me. That would be way lame. Yeah. Excuse me.

[Langston]

I wasn't assembling an entourage.

[David]

I wasn't in a group. I was rogue.

[Langston]

Yeah. I was a fucking Highlander, baby.

[David]

Did you have a dance name?

[Langston]

No, I didn't have a fucking dance name. I was just a cool dude who.

[David]

All right, all right. Who.

[Langston]

At a party, if a circle happened, I would pop in the middle and then another dude. There was this kid in my high school named Dom Perignon and. I wish I was making this up.

[David]

No, it's way too specific to be a lie.

[Langston]

Don Barryam, he would constantly. You know, the circle would happen and he would get in and he'd be popping and shit. And then I would get in and I would pop. And me and Dom would go back and forth, popping.

[David]

Did you ever crop him?

[Langston]

Damn. I don't think so. I don't think I ever had the flexibility for. For doing back bends and shit.

[David]

Okay.

[Langston]

But I ate his heart sometimes. Oh, no. Yeah, I ate his heart. I pop from the bottom and pass it up and go back down and snatch his heart and then put it in my own chest.

[David]

Put it in your own. Bump into his rhythm. Wow. You're a wild guy.

[Langston]

Nah, I lived a life, man.

[David]

Yeah, that's very interesting. We'll get more into that.

[Langston]

We'll get more into that.

[David]

Do you have pictures?

[Langston]

I hope. David. I hope there's no documentation of this period in my life.

[David]

Lil mamas, if you guys could. Let's see if I'm hoping we could find someone who battled you. If you guys know Dom Paramil and he's in the Chicagoland area, I don't think he left.

[Langston]

I don't think he went anywhere.

[David]

Please, we gotta get him on. We gotta get him on. I would love to hear an oral history of these battles.

[Langston]

Dom was a great dancer, man. I don't know that I won any of the. You know, I wouldn't call myself the champion of those battles, but he. I was, I was honored to be a partisan.

[David]

But you got in the ring.

[Langston]

You know, I got in the ring.

[David]

You got in the ring.

[Langston]

But yeah, I think to the larger question at hand. I fear the evil spirits enough that I am willing to cut myself off from certain activities. And I recognize that if you are a stringent God fearing woman, so much so that you're willing to join the Jehovah's Witnesses later in life, then you probably are afraid of a lot of things that seem vaguely spiritual. That is Yoga and poses and whatnot.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston]

Beads. Beads, sure, yeah. White women with sage. That's not a good combination.

[David]

Jade.

[Langston]

Come on. Get that jade out of your goddamn vaginas and put it back in the earth where it belongs.

[David]

Take that jade out of your pussies.

[Langston]

That's the name of the episode.

[David]

Well, I think we did it.

[Langston]

That was really good. I think so. I think we covered it all. Could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

[David]

Cool Guy Jokes 87 on Instagram. All my stuff is gonna be there.

[Langston]

As always, you can follow me. Langston Kerman on all social media plat I be there. I don't be doing nothing, but I'll be there. And if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, if you want to send us your drops, send it all to my mamapod gmail.com give us a call at 844-lil-moms. We want to talk to you. Bye, bitch.

[David]

Mini Episodes Mini episodes Mini episode. Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode. Motherfucking mini episode.

[California Psychics]

When you haven't found love, it can feel like everyone else has. It's in every movie, every song and all the PDA looking for love sucks. Thankfully, California psychics can give you the guidance you need to find the one. We guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free and new customers receive 20 minutes for just $20. Visit californiapsychics.com and experience the joy of certainty.

[Langston]

California psychics with the best all inclusive vacation deals to Mexico and the Caribbean. Booking your getaway with Cheap Caribbean Vacations means you have more freedom do your deal Whether you want to enjoy snorkeling, endless margaritas and more, or simply soak up the sun and sand in a tropical paradise, Cheap Caribbean Vacations has your deal for that Plan and book the exact way you want at exactly the right price for you by using our exclusive budget Beach Finder. Or find a featured all inclusive package to Iberostar Hotel and Resorts in Jamaica and do your [e-mail] do you own.

[Intuit QuickBooks]

A business that's ready to thrive? It's time to let Intuit QuickBooks take things like unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate so you can take things to the next level. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with those day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks your way to Money Money Movement services are provided by Intuit Payments, Inc. Licensed as a money Transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Langston]

At David's Bridal Love is in every stitch. From the initial sketch to the final details. Each style is designed with exquisite craft craftsmanship. Every wedding gown, bridesmaid look, prom dress and special occasion style in between features handcrafted details filled with love. Come see the magic in person, book an appointment and sign up for diamond loyalty to save 15% on your first purchase. Earn points towards special rewards and [e-mail].