Dollar Tree Stores Make Porn (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – Episode: "Dollar Tree Stores Make Porn"

Host Information

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
• Produced by: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Release Date: February 18, 2025

Episode Overview In this provocative episode of My Momma Told Me, hosts Langston Kerman and David Gborie delve into a bizarre and unsettling Black conspiracy theory: the claim that Dollar Tree stores are secretly producing pornography. Through a series of listener emails and voicemails, the hosts explore the origins, validity, and implications of this theory, blending humor with critical analysis.

---

1. Introduction to the Conspiracy Theory

Timestamp: 06:11 – 07:07

The episode kicks off with an email from a listener named Freddie, who alleges that Dollar Tree stores might be involved in producing pornographic content. Langston Kerman expresses initial skepticism, asking, “[07:03] Langston Kerman: “Before we even get into this, when was the last time you were in a dollar tree?” David Gborie shares his infrequent visits to Dollar Tree, emphasizing its functional rather than recreational use in his daily life.

2. Analyzing Freddie’s Claim

Timestamp: 08:10 – 12:33

Freddie’s email details his discovery of videos featuring individuals engaging in explicit acts within Dollar Tree stores. Langston and David discuss the plausibility of such activities occurring in a retail environment, considering factors like store layout and surveillance. They debate whether these videos are genuine or staged, pondering the possibility of production involvement:

• David Gborie: “If they're putting a stop to it and ain't trying to get the videos taken off the Internet, they must be in on it.” [16:26]
• Langston Kerman: “It makes me just feel like maybe Dollar Trees are poorly run. I think so that they could just go in there and nut on somebody.” [15:52]

3. Assessing the Evidence

Timestamp: 12:33 – 19:05

The hosts scrutinize the nature of the alleged videos, noting inconsistencies and the likelihood of them being isolated incidents rather than a coordinated effort by Dollar Tree. They reference an article from the New York Daily News mentioning rapper Meek Mill supposedly hunting down perpetrators, which adds another layer of complexity to the theory:

• David Gborie: “He linked a very real article from the New York Daily News that says that Meek Mill is basically has a bounty out for somebody who ejaculated on someone else in a dollar tree.” [14:20]

Langston remains unconvinced about Dollar Tree’s involvement, suggesting that the chaos typically found in these stores might inadvertently facilitate such actions rather than a deliberate conspiracy.

4. Listener Interaction and Voicemails

Timestamp: 34:11 – 56:35

The episode features several voicemails from listeners, including one from Olivia who claims there is a dedicated section for Dollar Tree pornography on PornHub. Langston and David react strongly to these claims, expressing frustration and disbelief:

• Langston Kerman: “She's a criminal.” [46:55]
• David Gborie: “I'm going to kill you.” [56:35]

These interactions highlight the hosts' skepticism and discomfort with the conspiracy theory, while also showcasing their comedic rapport as they navigate hostile listener feedback.

5. Transition to Black Air Force Energy Theory

Timestamp: 36:09 – 54:45

Shifting gears, the hosts examine another Black conspiracy theory centered around "Black Air Force Energy." This concept suggests that wearing black Air Force Ones imbues individuals with a certain criminal or rebellious energy. They explore the cultural and psychological implications of fashion choices:

• Langston Kerman: “Black sneaker energy in general, I think, has always carried a sinister tone.” [36:17]
• David Gborie: “Fashion is an art of vulnerability. Anytime you're putting on something extra, you are being more vulnerable with the world than you were the moments before.” [47:53]

They debate whether clothing colors subconsciously influence behavior, with Langston arguing that all-black attire often signifies a tactical or rebellious stance, while David acknowledges a degree of subconscious influence but questions its extent.

6. Deconstructing the Theories and Cultural Context

Timestamp: 54:50 – 55:48

In their final discussions, Langston and David deconstruct the Black Air Force Energy theory, considering historical and cultural contexts. They debate the stereotypes associated with black footwear and its portrayal in media, ultimately questioning the validity and origins of such theories:

• David Gborie: “There's a world where we have created this truth through community and sort of like, just repeating it. Lore becomes truth if we say it enough.” [54:35]
• Langston Kerman: “The rebellion of that feels good. You know what I mean?” [53:59]

7. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: 56:35 – 58:34

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts reflect on the nature of conspiracy theories and their impact on the Black community. They emphasize the importance of critical thinking and caution against accepting unfounded claims without substantial evidence. The episode concludes with promotional content for their live shows and encouraging listeners to submit their own theories.

---

Notable Quotes:

• David Gborie: “If they're putting a stop to it and ain't trying to get the videos taken off the Internet, they must be in on it.” [16:26]
• Langston Kerman: “Black sneaker energy in general, I think, has always carried a sinister tone.” [36:17]
• David Gborie: “Fashion is an art of vulnerability. Anytime you're putting on something extra, you are being more vulnerable with the world than you were the moments before.” [47:53]
• David Gborie: “There's a world where we have created this truth through community and sort of like, just repeating it. Lore becomes truth if we say it enough.” [54:35]

Key Takeaways:

• The conspiracy theory alleging Dollar Tree’s involvement in pornography is examined critically, with hosts finding it largely implausible.
• Discussions extend into the psychological and cultural influences of fashion, specifically the impact of wearing black Air Force Ones.
• The episode underscores the necessity of evidence-based analysis when evaluating conspiracy theories within the Black community.
• Through humor and candid dialogue, Langston and David encourage listeners to question and research claims before accepting them as truth.

Conclusion This episode of My Momma Told Me offers a blend of humor and critical examination of unconventional Black conspiracy theories. By dissecting claims about Dollar Tree and exploring the cultural weight of fashion choices, the hosts provide insightful commentary while maintaining an engaging and entertaining discourse for their audience.

Transcript

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[Langston Kerman]

You know what's fucked up about the dog? Stella is an idiot so she see him backwards.

[David Borey]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

It's very strange w she Walks in rooms backwards sometimes. I don't know if it's a poodle thing or what. She's just like, this is a standard black poodle. So, like. So I'll be looking, and then she'll be, like, backing in.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Get out of here.

[David Borey]

Tell her you dumb.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I love her.

[David Borey]

You don't, and that's okay.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I do love you. Saw when. When the cameras. When it's just me and her. I. We're very close.

[David Borey]

You're very close once the cameras are off. But that could have been. I. I don't know that I was.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, Langston, come on. Coming over. You better shut the fuck up.

[David Borey]

Stop. You want to eat tonight's, though? Fuck a.

[Langston Kerman]

Work together, you dumb bitch. No, no.

[David Borey]

The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money.

[Langston Kerman]

Marsh and defended turkey stuff. Y'all can'.

[David Borey]

Yo little nigga ain't mine look just, like, genuine. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentiles alike, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My.

[Langston Kerman]

Mama Told Me the podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black.

[David Borey]

Conspiracy theories, and we finally work to prove conspiracy theories as a whole. We just want them to exist. We want them out there.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, baby.

[David Borey]

Make it make you sick.

[Langston Kerman]

I want you to feel nasty.

[David Borey]

Come on. We got an email.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, let's read that.

[David Borey]

A lot of emails. A lot of voicemails. We could not appreciate y'all more for contacting us.

[Langston Kerman]

I do want to say one thing.

[David Borey]

Yeah?

[Langston Kerman]

We are not the little freakies.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah?

[Langston Kerman]

I've seen some talk on the Reddit, of which there is one now. That's good to know. There's 299 black people on Reddit. They said that we're the little freakies and they're the little mamas.

[David Borey]

No, I don't like that at all.

[Langston Kerman]

I hate it.

[David Borey]

I don't think. I don't think that.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not freaky.

[David Borey]

That doesn't even make sense. That doesn't even make sense. You're stupid. I'm not even gonna play this game with you. It doesn't make sense. You're stupid.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, all right.

[David Borey]

I'm not gonna. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna defend myself like a man. I'm gonna defend myself like a child. You are wrong. You're stupid, and your dad is ugly. That is not true. We are not little freakies in any form.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope. They call me big freak.

[David Borey]

They don't call Me, anything freaky. You leave me out of there. That's his business.

[Langston Kerman]

I can't be big freaky. I can't be a little freaky. I don't want it.

[David Borey]

I don't like any of this.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't want it. You know what it was when that lady said it on that voicemail? I did not like the way that it felt.

[David Borey]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

She said halo freakies.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you keep saying lady, and I don't think it was the lady.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not here to gender anymore.

[David Borey]

That's sort of the thing to misgender.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoever it was.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That feminine voice.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think we can agree on that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Objectively. Feminine voice called us little freakies, and I didn't care for it one bit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's. That's tough.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Lil mamas is cool for you. I don't want a name.

[David Borey]

No. We're just two men who you admire.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Who are in no way freaky.

[David Borey]

We got an email with the subject line. You pointed out this email. It's a very exciting one.

[Langston Kerman]

It popped.

[David Borey]

Subject line. Dollar Tree be making porn videos.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, how are you not gonna open that?

[David Borey]

You gotta open that email right across your desk. You gotta check that out. Yeah, I got about five more minutes. Y do some light reading.

[Langston Kerman]

What's that? I'm in the office working.

[David Borey]

I don't know when I'll be finished. I gotten some new information.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't bring the dog in here.

[David Borey]

You know what? I figured as the dog walking in and being like, we got an email that said, dollar Tree be making porn videos. And the, the person said, what's up, y'all?

[Langston Kerman]

Before we even get into this, when was the last time you were in a dollar tree?

[David Borey]

You think it's been some time? Yeah, Yeah. I, I don't go often anymore. Do you go?

[Langston Kerman]

Probably within the last calendar year.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they just have all kinds of. In there.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I, I, I don't have any time for perusing anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you got kids.

[David Borey]

Children take away that ability. And so, like, I go to the store completely for function.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. So you can't just, like, pop in.

[David Borey]

No. And, and there's nothing in there that, like, I get it. It probably is cheaper, but the, the, all the necessities can't be covered.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Borey]

So I'm not making that extra stop to, like, save some money on my dishwashing liquid and then have to still go to a different store for everything else.

[Langston Kerman]

I got you.

[David Borey]

Yeah, but I miss it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I love a dollar Tree.

[David Borey]

It used to be My favorite activity with me and my mom would like. We go to Dollar Tree and I could get like a few things. Yeah. Some toys, coloring books.

[Langston Kerman]

So that you never heard of.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You get some weird shit in Dollar Tree.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the best part.

[David Borey]

You always talk somebody into throwing some candy in at the end because they got. You know what I mean? They trap you. They same way grocery stores, but they really entice you at the Dollar Tree.

[Langston Kerman]

It's funny because it's like messy. Like it's kid. Like a bad kid's house.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It felt homeish in that way.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like, no, I could. I could play in the aisles or in dollars.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Take it out the pay.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It don't matter. Yeah. You just tell them up front.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

They'll be like, that didn't come that way.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, cool. Son. I get paid a dollar.

[David Borey]

You are my tree. We got a. An email from. From a person named Freddie. He said, what's up, y'all? It's your boy Freddie. I like how he talks to us. Emailing y'all one more time. Time C said. But I was being respectful. Freddie, I know this probably sounds crazy, but I think the store, Dollar Tree might be in the porn business. It does sound crazy, Freddie.

[Langston Kerman]

Initially. Yeah.

[David Borey]

It sounds fucking nuts, man. It sounds like you. You're out of your goddamn mind. But I'm willing to listen. You won't be the first crazy person I listen to. So I came across this video where a nigga was walking through a store with his dick out and kind of trying to get people to see it. I ended up going down this rabbit hole.

[Langston Kerman]

Hold on, Freddy.

[David Borey]

Yep.

[Langston Kerman]

I came across this video now, Freddie. Yeah. You didn't see it on Instagram.

[David Borey]

Nope. That ain't. That's not Instagram friendly.

[Langston Kerman]

That's. I think, I think you were a one of three main sites, all with an X in the title or two. Or two or three.

[David Borey]

Yeah, he's walking through the store with his dick out and kind of trying to get people to see it.

[Langston Kerman]

That's also not good.

[David Borey]

It's not good. But it's also like he's walking through the store. That means he has someone filming this for him.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's a two sitting multiple location at least trying to get third person. If it's a porno, probably the person who sees it and reacts is also.

[David Borey]

Light sound and actors.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

Camera, light sound.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

This is all production we're talking about here, Freddie, so. Yeah. You're a sick fuck, man. You're really on some twisted shit here, Freddie.

[Langston Kerman]

And like we've all seen weird porn on the Internet. I'm not like. But yeah, I've seen people fudgeing in the store on the Internet, sure. But dollar straight. I feel like it's mostly bodegas.

[David Borey]

That makes more sense.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you ever seen those videos? Yeah, we'll be like, yeah, yeah, we just watched that video.

[David Borey]

Yeah, but like actually yeah, no, I, I have seen that. But that makes more sense. There's like one camera and two dudes. Yeah, it's like, okay, I see how you could like feel comfortable enough to get away with this in the back real quick.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, well I've seen a lot where, oh boy. Is just like, it's like this. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like so he's got the, he's, Yeah.

[David Borey]

I didn't presume he was getting the CCTV footage.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, okay. No, but you said two dudes. I don't mean they're running.

[David Borey]

I mean two dudes working the, the store.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, okay, okay.

[David Borey]

There is not a big enough staff to hold you accountable if you find the right corner.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, right, right.

[David Borey]

To, to hide your shenanigans.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[David Borey]

Yeah. But no, I, I, I can't say that I've seen any major corporation fucking very often.

[Langston Kerman]

I've seen people fucking at Walmart too.

[David Borey]

Walmart, It's a big store.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a big ass store.

[David Borey]

Dollar Tree's not that big. Some are.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. That one in Highland Park's pretty big.

[David Borey]

Is it?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that might be a general.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I know Dollar Tree to be about three to four aisles.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm trying to think of. It might be a dollar General. You're right. I fucked up. Anyways, long aisles, but yeah, yeah, three.

[David Borey]

Or four of those bad boys.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Anyway, Freddie goes on to say, so I came across this video. I'm a dick out trying to get people to see it. I ended up going down this rabbit hole where I kept clicking on these videos with people doing the same thing. It seems like a couple different guys doing the same thing either flashing their dick or sometimes they get jerked off by someone or nut on someone. Okay. I mean they go a little crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Those are three very different things.

[David Borey]

Yeah, one of those is, is like flashing and then the other ones are just pornography.

[Langston Kerman]

And like now that flashing isn't a crime. You can't just be going around nutting on people.

[David Borey]

No, that's truly insane.

[Langston Kerman]

It's also a lot more work than any. I'm sorry, continue.

[David Borey]

The timing is impeccable.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I mean. Like, you know, I don't know about you, but it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

[David Borey]

That's my main problem. That's my biggest critique with me.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, really?

[David Borey]

He says, I mean, they go a little crazy sometimes. It's different stores, but the majority of the videos happen in Dollar Tree. I mean, it's a lot of these videos happening in Dollar Tree. So I know they gotta have cameras and all that. So if they putting a stop to it and ain't trying to get the videos taken off the Internet, they must be in on it. What y'all think is what Freddie says. Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

Is it weird if I go to a site and I type in Dollar Tree right now?

[David Borey]

Uh, no, I don't think that's weird. I think you can go type in Dollar Tree.

[Langston Kerman]

I just wanna see what happens. Uh, I don't think. Cause I. I want. I wanna know the amount. If it's just like, five videos, I don't think they're in on it. If it's like a bunch of video. Yeah, see, this one didn't even show. The site I went to didn't even show any Dollar Tree.

[David Borey]

Well, I'm he. Freddie sent us an additional email.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, let's. Let's hear that.

[David Borey]

We should talk about this. He said, hey, y'all. Had to hit you up again because I just decided to Google this shit while I was on my lunch break. Yo, there's a lot of O's in that. Yo, this shit is wild. I'm talking about bitches is getting nutted on in Dollar Trees in Houston, Philly, who the fuck knows where else?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, now this feels like a Don Julio's Popeye crossover.

[David Borey]

Yeah, the same places where Don Julio and Popeye.

[Langston Kerman]

This is similar rollout.

[David Borey]

Yeah, Meek, he says. He says Philly, who the fuck knows where else Meek Mill is hunting these niggas down. Dollar Trees. Dollar Tree getting sued. Yeah, they definitely got something to do with them videos. Y'all need to look into this shit. And then he linked a article, a very real article from the New York Daily News that says that Meek Mill is. Basically has a bounty out for somebody who ejaculated on someone else in a dollar tree that Meek Mill himself is hunting. The Dollar Tree.

[Langston Kerman]

In Philly.

[David Borey]

In Philly. The Dollar Tree nut bandit.

[Langston Kerman]

Is he upset that this happened in his city?

[David Borey]

I can't tell. I can't tell if this is like Meek Mill as Batman or if this, like, happened to his aunt. And he's like, nah, nobody does that to Janice Mill.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Cause his name is just Ramik. Right. That's why he's.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think so.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn, there's a lot to take in.

[David Borey]

It is a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause it also doesn't seem like your traditional porno.

[David Borey]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

If it's just like nutting on people, that feels way different. I don't understand what Dollar Tree would have to gain by this. I guess is where I am with the idea of this being anything other than. It makes me just feel like maybe Dollar Trees are poorly run. I think so that they could. You could just go in there and nut on somebody.

[David Borey]

I think if I'm, if I'm Dollar Tree, what benefit do I have in shutting this down? Like they don't do any advertising, at least not that I've seen. You don't watch Dollar Tree commercials? They, they are mostly living off of the fact that they're a dollar and word of mouth in these communities. It can only serve them to keep these videos up. Which leads me to believe that maybe you get a little bit of a. Even if you're not producing pornography, you're getting a kickback.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you think so? Because like I don't think people are watching that video and being like, damn, I gotta go to Dollar Tree.

[David Borey]

I'm just saying that like if I, if you have to Google my shit and more. More things pop up. It only services people showing up to your. Your place of business.

[Langston Kerman]

I guess so. But it's.

[David Borey]

Ah man, Walmart's success is that we keep repeating the name Walmart, even if it's a joke. Walmart, the Wally's world. You know what I mean? Like the whole shit is being like, Walmart is cheap and sad and for the. You know what I mean? And for the destitute, also an incredible deal. But everybody still likes Walmart.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Dollar Tree loses nothing by being the porno dollar Store.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so I get.

[David Borey]

It's crazy. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

I guess what I'm at on this is I feel like ultimately I could see Dollar Tree not doing something. I think that that's a good point. I don't think they're making it. I don't think they're filming it.

[David Borey]

You don't think they're offering up Dollar Tree footage to make it happen?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think they're saying, hey, you can nut in here.

[David Borey]

Right? Right. So funny. If there's a sign that says no shirt, no shoes, no service, but go ahead and not anymore. No service, Mona.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Yeah, so I don't think That I don't think that I could see them not doing anything about it because it's like. I don't know. We just talked about it. When you go into Dollar Tree, it tends to be in disarray anyways, Right. Shit's upside down. So what's a little nut? Yeah, it's probably peeing the floor.

[David Borey]

Aren't they carpeted?

[Langston Kerman]

No, let's. Tile flooring.

[David Borey]

At least when I was a kid, I feel like they were like, carpeted and shit. It's not a. Yeah, it's a bad situation altogether, I guess, is the point that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's not good.

[David Borey]

It's not ideal for anybody. So, yeah, if somebody's in there nutting and doing all kinds of shenanigans, I'm sure they have all kinds of crazy things happen every day in Dollar Tree. They have no reason to be. Like, we draw the line at niggas showing a dick to people.

[Langston Kerman]

I would once again like to go back to what your man was doing when he stumbled across this video.

[David Borey]

Freddie, you really gotta. You really gotta be honest with us, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Freddy, you can't lie to us so we can help you.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause you need help.

[David Borey]

You're trying to make this about like, us looking into that, when in fact, you are part of the problem, Freddie.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You're trying Kansas City Hustle. Like, look that way, you're going that way.

[David Borey]

You're the vast majority of the clicks on these videos. And you gotta reflect on that because.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, you went down a rabbit hole and then what stopped that?

[David Borey]

Nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it was the similar action to what happened in the Dollar Tree. Yeah, I think he nut. And then he was like, oh, that was. Back to work. Welcome to Enterprise.

[David Borey]

Okay. 10:30.

[Langston Kerman]

Good, good, good.

[David Borey]

Still got a whole day ahead of me. Yeah. I think you're a sick person, Freddie. And thank you for sending us this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's really funny.

[David Borey]

It's really funny. It's really helpful for us to read it. And we pray for anybody at the Dollar Tree who doesn't want to see a dick and doesn't want to be nutted on, because apparently them videos are out there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's the majority of people at Dollar Tree.

[David Borey]

Yep. Yep.

[Langston Kerman]

I would assume.

[David Borey]

Yeah. That don't want to see a dick and don't want to be nutted on.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's like the most sinister form of porn, too, is that. I think that's one of the more sinister things that pornography does, is I think it's like, it makes women seem like they're Just like, I just need it. You know what I mean? But you ever met a dude who thought the Bang Bus was real and.

[David Borey]

You'Re like, ugh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

It's bad.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I met a grown man older than me one time. I remember he's trying to convince me Bang Bus was real.

[David Borey]

I think that was what made the Girls Gone Wild shit so sad. At least for me, is like, I as a kid would see those commercials and be like, oh, those women were happy. Yeah, they were having fun.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? Like, there was nothing I didn't have the maturity and the know how to recognize that, like, oh, they're blackout drunk and being just completely manipulated into these weird moments.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

I was just like, no, it was white girls having fun.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that shit was dark, too.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it's very dark.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, now, if they'd have done Girls Gone Wild in a dollar Tree with some Don Julio chicken.

[David Borey]

Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

All I'm saying is I'm looking for a brand part.

[David Borey]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

Don Julio Dollar Tree girls.

[David Borey]

Go on. You're picking your. You gotta find some new territory.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no. Yeah, that's the axis of evil.

[David Borey]

You're truly on the wrong side of history.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's. No, that's terrible. That's terrible.

[David Borey]

Damn. We need to take a break. All right, let's take a break and when we come back, maybe we'll do one more email or. Yeah, yeah, we got time. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna take a break. More, David. More lengths than more. My mama told me.

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[David Borey]

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[David Borey]

Our best policy.

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[Langston Kerman]

You're ugly. You are disgusting.

[David Borey]

I'm gonna kill you.

[Langston Kerman]

Give me $200. Matter of fact, make it three. We're back and we want your money.

[David Borey]

We want your money real bad.

[Langston Kerman]

I'd like it we have a voicemail.

[David Borey]

We have. We have a series. A series of voicemails. Before we get into it, I would like to point out that Olivia's messaged us regarding the Dollar Tree porn conversation that we just got out of. Olivia sent us a message that says, and I'm quoting here, there seems to be a Dollar Tree porn video section on pornhub, FYI.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, what were you doing, Olivia? You just happened upon the video. There's a section.

[David Borey]

There's a whole section, apparently.

[Langston Kerman]

I feel like for research purposes, we.

[David Borey]

Should figure this out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

There's no law against going on pornhub and looking up Dollar Tree, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You should maybe do it on your. I just got my shit set up how I like it.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I don't really want to corrupt myself with this, but I am 18 years or older and this is nasty. Okay. Good for them. Dollar Tree. It really starts you off wild on old pornhub.

[Langston Kerman]

I've never been a pornhub guy.

[David Borey]

Me neither. This ain't. This ain't where I be at.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, that's not my neighborhood.

[David Borey]

Yep, here it is. Dollar Tree porn video.

[Langston Kerman]

How do we do this so that they can't see?

[David Borey]

I don't know that they're gonna be able to see.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, shit.

[David Borey]

Yeah, there's.

[Langston Kerman]

It's definitely a certain race.

[David Borey]

It's Ebony freak caught fucking at Dollar Tree. There's also using my clit sucker and flashing at Dollar Tree. Then there's a bunch of videos of dudes fucking trees.

[Langston Kerman]

God, I hate how porn looks.

[David Borey]

Whoa. This dude really is just God damn out of a tree. Oh, he said stop.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck.

[David Borey]

God damn. Yep. There's not. There's not.

[Langston Kerman]

There's not that much.

[David Borey]

I wouldn't describe it as a section. This is.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not that much.

[David Borey]

There's like a few videos, and it's mostly what appears to be the same lady.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe go to categories. Is there categories? There we go.

[David Borey]

We've got Ebony, we've got bbw, we've got Soul Female, A lot of.

[Langston Kerman]

Shouldn't it be under the deep?

[David Borey]

Cream pie? Of course. Who could forget America's favorite pastime? Cream pie.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they don't have a Dollar Tree section.

[David Borey]

Hardcore Japanese music. Yo, it goes mature milf, muscular man music.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, old.

[David Borey]

Young. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not seeing. This isn't in alphabetical order, and there doesn't seem to be an entire section dedicated to it.

[Langston Kerman]

Fucking hate the way porn looks.

[David Borey]

What do you mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I think that porno sites look like. It looks like A bathroom wall to me, like covered in graffiti. It's just like smut smashing together. I don't like it.

[David Borey]

Oh, that is. It's like.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why I don't. I can't even. I don't even look. I look at it on my phone. I can't even look at it at the side. Like, that's too big.

[David Borey]

It's hard to process that much all at once.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

In a way that, that feels. I get why people start to become desensitized to the act because you're just. You see literally everything. Even if your preference is not like the crazy shit they throw you. The crazy shit right when you get there just to test them waters and.

[Langston Kerman]

Then the ads on top of it, it's just like. It's like the whole. It's like it's overstimulating and then it's on top of like the color. It's just like. It's just. I just. I don't really think it is like, I don't really ride for like porno as like an art form or whatever. I think it's kind of trash.

[David Borey]

But you let me ask this. You don't think that there's. That the artistry is also buried under sort of like the, you know, the over saturated, the over fucking capitalization of the websites that like the videos themselves could be artistry, but they're just buried on these fucking horrible websites that show you everything at once.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, possibly, but I think that we make excuses because we're nutting. These aren't good movies.

[David Borey]

Well, no, they're horrible movies, but effective movies for nutting. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. So is somebody you saw on the street. It's like if you didn't have porno, you would still be able to not. It's not achieving a very difficult thing.

[David Borey]

Yeah, but I would say, and I'm surprised that I feel this passionately about it.

[Langston Kerman]

You watch softcore porno.

[David Borey]

I don't. First of all, I don't watch softcore porno. I'm not like sitting around. We were talking about a preference. I'm not googling pornhub soft. You're being crazy. I prefer it to not be graphic cream pies is what I'm saying. But more importantly, I'm saying that to me, part of the artistry is being able to create circumstances where you, me, any random person could nut from a single video and that it requires length. It requires a sort of like, commitment to different, like, positions and styles and fucking sort of allowing people to see themselves in these individual, like. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Like. No, I think you're overthinking it.

[David Borey]

I think these people. While it's not an art I hope to replicate, I do acknowledge it is an art.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's kind of. I think it's smut.

[David Borey]

I think smut can be.

[Langston Kerman]

I like it better. I think there's more of a case for the amateur, the stuff that people make themselves, than the highly produced. I'm stuck or whatever.

[David Borey]

No, I think it's art in the same way that Tyler Perry is art. It's meant to serve an audience and it serves it effectively, even though I don't find it to be the mark of anyone's talent.

[Langston Kerman]

I hate that shit.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I get it. I'm not. I'm not defending the videos. I will watch some with you later if you'd like.

[Langston Kerman]

But I like music.

[David Borey]

I go to pornhub for the music.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know about you guys. I think that Piff is gone now. I go to a pornhub for the latest drops.

[David Borey]

Stop releasing on soundcloud. We're listening on pornhub.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Come on. Go where your audience is. Your core audience. They're jacking off. We're over here on pornhub, right next to muscular men.

[David Borey]

We got a voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

We got a voicemail.

[David Borey]

I think that's where we left off. I don't know how we ended up on pornhub.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't start today. When I woke up, I didn't think I was gonna see porn with you. No, I didn't see that coming.

[David Borey]

Didn't cross my mind once.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not at all.

[David Borey]

But we saw some stuff and we're, I think, better for it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Nothing in my genre, really.

[David Borey]

What's your. What would you describe as your genre?

[Langston Kerman]

Large.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

And.

[David Borey]

And the BBW didn't cover. Cover that.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't see bw.

[David Borey]

It's on there.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh. I also didn't see the spectrum of color that I like. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. I don't like the way you say it. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I thought I was very respectful.

[David Borey]

No, you're being very, like, coded in a way that makes it feel like you got a part of this spectrum that I'm not quite cued in on, but.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I think we probably crossed paths.

[David Borey]

Oh, hey. What's up, man? Yeah, I hear you. We got an email, a voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's. Pleased.

[David Borey]

We should play this before we feel more Uncomfortable. Who knows who sent this? But I'm excited to hear it. Here we go.

[Unknown Caller]

Freak bitch. What is that? What up, Langston? What up? That nigga from.

[David Borey]

Hold on.

[Langston Kerman]

She came in crazy.

[David Borey]

What was that?

[Langston Kerman]

To be fair, I've never heard the email or I've never heard of the voicemail.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you.

[David Borey]

This is my.

[Langston Kerman]

This is.

[David Borey]

I've heard this before. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But no, no, no. I've never heard what happens when you call the voicemail.

[David Borey]

Oh, like what we say to them. Yeah, we said something probably not nice.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's pull that up.

[David Borey]

You're gonna call the number?

[Langston Kerman]

Just so you hear.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause I don't know what she's laughing at.

[David Borey]

I don't know either, but it didn't feel connected to something we did. But maybe I'm wrong.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, this is David Fory and Lights and Kermit. And you've reached the My Mama Told Me Nasty hotline. It's the nastiest hotline that ever was. So if you want to ask us a question or say some nasty shit, leave us some messages to beat you, freak bitch.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. So you say.

[David Borey]

You said something pretty fucked up to them, and then they say something. Now we're a little freaky. So this is really your doing?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, I think that you're going out on a limb a little bit.

[David Borey]

You really fucked us here. I don't think I go so far as to say.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that this is just, you know, I don't think that.

[David Borey]

Well, now I understand why this person came on this way. But let's. Let's.

[Unknown Caller]

What up, Langston? What up? That from the Congo? How you doing? Anyway, here is what my mama told me.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Unknown Caller]

My mama told me that black Air Force energy is real in.

[David Borey]

Okay, let's talk a little bit. And I. I don't like the sound effects that she's doing.

[Langston Kerman]

I kind of like it.

[David Borey]

You're into the soundtrack?

[Langston Kerman]

I like her personality.

[David Borey]

Okay. I think she could work on it, but that's fine. She immediately is saying black Air Force energy is real. That leads me to the question, do you believe in Black Air Force One energy? And if so, tell the people, why.

[Langston Kerman]

Not even just black Air Force energy, Black sneaker energy in general, I think, has always carried a sinister tone. I don't know how to explain it. You just feel it. And especially because we came up in a heavy white shoe era, right? Like what? Starting probably junior high school age.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I would say white Air Force ones were king for a long time, throughout my youth.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Same, same, same. But You. There's something about when the culture or when what's generally promoted as cool is, like, white or colorful and bright, the hard switch on that color palette does make you feel like something.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? I don't know about. You know, you had your black shoes on. Remember when the Black T song came out? Gucci Mane just talked about, that's always scary.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Gucci Mane had a lot of scary years, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Borey]

You're just like, bro, this is a bad guy. This a goon. Yeah, this is a monster.

[Langston Kerman]

But no, I think there's even. There's something to. Even. Even if you. You ever find yourself accidentally, like, wearing all black, there's just something to that where you feel really suited and booted in a way. Right. And I think black Air Force ones make you feel that way. Definitely.

[David Borey]

And you're saying that that energy then carries to your brain and causes you to behave differently than you would have if you were dressed in all white?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think completely, but a little bit, yeah.

[David Borey]

Interesting. I don't disagree. I definitely don't think it's as much a part of our shared consciousness as is often implied. But I do think something subconscious happens when you're like, nah, these won't scuff as easy. You know what I mean? Like, these won't. The dirt won't show. Then makes you feel like you could be a little more reckless. And with that recklessness comes misbehavior. Fighting, cussing all the night.

[Langston Kerman]

And I feel like the idea of even wearing all black seems like a more almost like, tactical choice. Yeah, it seems like it's extreme function where wearing all white seems not functional at all.

[David Borey]

It's the least functional outfit you can put on.

[Langston Kerman]

Exactly. It feels like sort of based in, like, that idea of, like, peacocking or whatever, where all black feels like business.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like I'm doing. I'm doing something right. Like I'm on a mission. It feels like a mission in the same way, like lacing up, like, all black combat boots or something, right?

[David Borey]

Yeah. Not all white combo back boots. You know what I mean? Nobody's lacing those bad boys up unless you're fighting in fucking that snow planet. Oh, yeah, In Star Wars.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

Like everybody else is.

[Langston Kerman]

Tatooine.

[David Borey]

Yeah, There you go.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I'm not. Nerd. Deep cut.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't even know why I said that. Let's go, boy.

[David Borey]

Is Tatooine really where they were at?

[Langston Kerman]

It's one of them.

[David Borey]

I know. It's One of them.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the best I could do on such short days. Fair enough.

[David Borey]

I shouldn't have sprung that on you.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Let's see what else she has.

[David Borey]

Yeah, she's got other shit going on.

[Unknown Caller]

Yes. Black air force energy is real. Basically, if you buy you a pair of black air forces, low tops, black strings, you will become a criminal. That's it. Everyone out there used to wear black air forces.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Unknown Caller]

Laced up, tied in a bow and tight. Criminals. They also used to come with backpacks on too. In a ski mask, however.

[David Borey]

Okay, let's pause for a second at some point.

[Langston Kerman]

These are just crime tools.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you're not. It's starting to reach.

[Langston Kerman]

They also had a slim jam and a gun.

[David Borey]

And they're saying, bitch, give me your money. If you say, bitch, give me your money, you're a criminal.

[Langston Kerman]

They had cans of Bear mates.

[David Borey]

And they're friends with a man named Knuckles.

[Langston Kerman]

They all have butterfly knives. Did you ever have a butterfly knife?

[David Borey]

No, I never had a cool knife.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh.

[David Borey]

I've had like Swiss army knives.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, that's not like a stabbing knife.

[David Borey]

Nah, that's not. I mean you, you, when you're a kid, you keep it in your pocket and pretend like it could be. But.

[Langston Kerman]

But I'm talking about you remember when people started carrying the real knives where like.

[David Borey]

Nah, I know what you mean.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

I was around kids who had them. But. But no, I was never brave enough to. To. To dabble. Were you a butterfly knife guy?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I had one that. I got it like the fair. No, I got it from the Mexican swap meet.

[David Borey]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause you could used to be able. There's like a knife guy.

[David Borey]

Sure.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But I never was good at it like. Cause you like hang it down and then you flip it out and then over and catch it. Some shit like that. I was never very good at it though.

[David Borey]

Did you ever cut yourself?

[Langston Kerman]

Tr. Yeah, yeah. But mine wasn't two sided. It was just one sided. Oh. So yeah, they have the. They have the two sided ones.

[David Borey]

That's what scares me. I don't want to cut myself.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. No, that's not worth it. And it's like, well, I'm going to get some more. I'm going to get pussy. Because I could do a butterfly knife.

[David Borey]

Honestly. No.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, it's not.

[David Borey]

I think it really scares women.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Because it sucks of course. As it should.

[David Borey]

I think a man with a knife for no reason is pretty terrifying.

[Langston Kerman]

A kid kind of makes sense. A man with the Knife is the worst. It's real unnerving if you're 30 plus. Honestly, it's better if you have a gun.

[David Borey]

Yeah, right.

[Langston Kerman]

I really think so. If you're over 30 years old, it is less weird if you have a gun than if you have a knife.

[David Borey]

I don't disagree with you. Like a for real cutting knife. Not a. Like a for real stabby, stabby knife. Not. Not. We're not just talking about, like a knife at work. Cause it's functional.

[Langston Kerman]

Like a box cutter.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I mean, like a legit knife is terrifying.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. If you have the shit with the little clip on the outside.

[David Borey]

That's fucking scary.

[Langston Kerman]

Not the one with the sheath.

[David Borey]

Yeah. No, I didn't know.

[Langston Kerman]

It's way weird.

[David Borey]

The one with the sheath. You actually are a killer.

[Langston Kerman]

You or you're like a woodsman. You're right. You know, like you're mad country.

[David Borey]

No, that's what I mean. You kill animals or people. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You're about to filet a fish. Yeah. And then that's less weird. But if you just got that little clippy, clippy little Remington joint. You know what I'm talking about? A little Remington. Yeah.

[David Borey]

You pull it out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Ugh.

[Langston Kerman]

Ugh. Hang it up.

[Unknown Speaker]

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[David Borey]

21 plus terms and conditions apply. She's describing a lot of details of what I agree are criminals, but that doesn't seem specific to the Black Air Force ones. Let's continue.

[Unknown Caller]

This is why I know Black Air Force energy is real. They don't sell them in the stores anymore. You cannot find them in the stores. The only way to get a pair of black air forces.

[David Borey]

And now it's a cliffhanger because she. She leaves the second voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

She came back.

[David Borey]

She came back. It's not the only place you can find them. She's gonna tell us.

[Langston Kerman]

Uh huh.

[Unknown Caller]

So this is a two part message because a minute and a half is not enough time for me. So I'm gonna talk really fast and y'all can just slow it down. Cause I also know Langston ain't gonna do that much research into that. This topic. Look, you can't get the Black Air forces online anymore. You have to. You. I mean, you have to go to. You have to get them online. You cannot get them in the store. When you put them things on, you will start to steal. I started to do it. And don't be like, oh, you're just a thief maybe. But here's the thing. I put some black air forces on and I promise you, I literally could not stop and it just comes upon you. Go buy you some black air forces and see what happens. Do some research on Tick Tock before it's canceled and or banned or whatever and see what people say about black air forces. And believe it or not, I was about to pay my Black air forces even blacker.

[Langston Kerman]

What? Yeah, and that's a. Ma'am, I think you might just be a criminal.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you're a psychopath.

[Langston Kerman]

But you black.

[David Borey]

You're what? They weren't black enough?

[Langston Kerman]

How do you b a black girl?

[David Borey]

You were like, these. I. I need a. I need a matte black. There's a. Like, what the fuck? It's the blackest that. That we make. There's no darker than black Air Force One.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know what she means by that.

[David Borey]

It's truly the dark. I can't think of a shoe that's darker.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know what she was gonna paint on blacker. This woman, I think she is a criminal. I do think there is a level of. A lot of times, especially when you're younger, goony kids can't dress well. And all black is an intimidating. It's like an easier Persona to adapt to get. You know what I mean? Just not. I just wear all black. I'm a tough guy. Yeah, it's a lot easier.

[David Borey]

Fashion is an art of vulnerability. Do you know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I'm not a good dresser.

[David Borey]

I just mean that, like. I just mean that, like, anytime you put on something that is not within, like, your wheelhouse, right inside of your pocket, be it all black, a T shirt, whatever, Anytime you're putting on something extra, you are being more vulnerable with the world than you were the moments before.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow. I really never thought about it that way.

[David Borey]

I think that's what. That's why people celebrate fashion. Innovation certainly is people being able to figure out something that we weren't comfortable putting on. And then you make it attractive.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why they talk about it in terms of, like, being daring.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it's daring. It's interesting. It's sort of challenging. The things that we expected, all of those things are what make fashion valuable. And it also, for a person that's like, truly not trying to share themselves, that's fucking scary.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Borey]

And so, yeah, if you're all black, you're never finding yourself in a moment of vulnerability, of feeling like, oh, no, I'm exposed. What will people think?

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, I think it also just feels like a rebellion against that because fashion does feel like the status quo a lot of times, especially when you are younger.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And the rebellion of that feels good. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah. It makes you. It gives you agency.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Like, maybe these kids are. Maybe they're not criminals. Maybe they're just black emos.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Or whatever other shit. White people.

[David Borey]

Yeah. That's not a criminal. He's just sad.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's a sad guy. Which maybe, though, if you check, a lot of those kids acted out, get.

[David Borey]

You a King who can do both.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[David Borey]

Yeah, No, I agree. I do think. I do wonder how much of this is just people struggling to participate in the grander conversation of fashion and whatever. But then, on the other hand, I do go a lot of fights I've seen. It was a n. Wearing black Air Force, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

And just like when you're all masked up, that does, like, you do feel that energy. Wearing all black is an energy that you bring to whatever you're doing. That is.

[David Borey]

It feels athletic.

[Langston Kerman]

It feel. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like if I had to run in my street clothes, I feel like I'd be fastest in all black.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I mean, I think it feels. It feels uniform in a way. It feels like soldier, soldier adjacent.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel really suited and booted.

[David Borey]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm sure she's got.

[David Borey]

She's got more to say, but she steals. She does steal.

[Langston Kerman]

She's a criminal.

[David Borey]

No, this is a bad lady. 100%, I would say.

[Langston Kerman]

I just think she's criminal.

[David Borey]

Yeah, well, according to the law.

[Unknown Caller]

And that's all I had to say, because now I didn't lost my train of thought because you only gimme a minute and a half to tell the fucking story when Langston don't do no research.

[David Borey]

All right, let's wait a minute. Let's wait a minute. Let's just calm the fuck down. You're being nasty.

[Langston Kerman]

You're.

[David Borey]

You're speaking nasty about me, and I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't. First of all, she called you out by name twice.

[David Borey]

Twice. I do research. I'm literally the only one that does do research.

[Langston Kerman]

I sure don't.

[David Borey]

David doesn't help at all, and I won't start. And so if you are upset about me not doing research on this subject, fine. That's fine. No, I'm not looking it up. I'm hearing this for the second time. I'm not looking it up. That's fine. But for you to somehow make this exclusively my problem is insane. You're being nasty, and I don't care for your attitude.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's really interesting. Maybe that was holdover from before I got here. No, no, it's not.

[David Borey]

This is a nasty person who steals, and I don't care for her attitude.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, let's see what's yours.

[Unknown Caller]

Either way it goes. I love the podcast. And get you a pair of black Air Force shoes. Get you a pair of black air forces, and I promise you, y'all niggas will be famous.

[David Borey]

All right, that's ooh.

[Langston Kerman]

Now the tables have turned.

[David Borey]

That's a weird threat right at the end that we could get famous from wearing the black air forces. That's not what's been promised. This entire time I have been thinking.

[Langston Kerman]

That I need to do bad to get good.

[David Borey]

Lately we've talked about that a little bit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, we have talked about that before.

[David Borey]

We say a lot that this podcast would be a lot bigger if we would just be intentionally mean to groups.

[Langston Kerman]

But I am wearing black shoes right now. What color are your shoes?

[David Borey]

All the colors.

[Langston Kerman]

My man's vulnerable right now.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You can't see what's under the table. Somebody's vulnerable, somebody's not.

[David Borey]

I'm wearing literally everybody, every color on my shoes.

[Langston Kerman]

I wear a black forest.

[David Borey]

They got pink tongues.

[Langston Kerman]

So how do you feel about this then?

[David Borey]

I definitely think when I am wearing all black, I feel the most sort of equipped for some kind of physical altercation. Some kind of like. It does sort of reek of an energy of like, sort of physicality and protectiveness. Fucking defenses are up when I'm wearing all black.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And I wonder if everybody experiences that and they have an instinct for criminality. If that just is. It's just helping them along in their shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think partially. I think part of it does just lend itself to that. A lot of times those kids can't dress coot. And I mean, when I was. I also remember kids, like when I was like when I was a kid, like seventh, eighth grade in Aurora, specifically, kids being like, to go out at night, we gotta mask up and they wear all black.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? So I think it's like the idea of wearing all black is the hidden element or whatever, the camouflage element. It's the opposite of peacocking. Like I said before.

[David Borey]

No 100%.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's what it lends itself to. And then I think it's like once people started saying it, then it's like that also. But this woman steals.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I think. I think there's a world where we have created this truth through community and sort of like, you know, just repeating it. Lore becomes truth if we say it enough. I think on the other hand, what it feels most true is this lady got some bad shit she be doing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But also, I think the idea of like the bad guy wearing black is not new.

[David Borey]

Mm mm.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's like a trope that goes back is forever.

[David Borey]

It makes the most sense if you gotta steal, especially burglarizing, you gotta be dark.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, well, I meant I Don't know why you worded it that way.

[David Borey]

I meant dark presenting. I meant your clothes. But sure, let's nitpick. I haven't already started a racial uprising on the Internet a la previous video. Yeah. Send me down the river, David. Send me down the fucking river yet again. Leave me out to dry.

[Langston Kerman]

I was with you on that Black. I was with you on that thing.

[David Borey]

You know what the fuck I meant. You know I didn't mean you gotta be a darkie.

[Langston Kerman]

See, that's what happens. And then I come. I come come forward. And then you say some like that. Every now and again, you open your heart for real and I see what's in there.

[David Borey]

It's black.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

But not the way you want it to be.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the color of those shoes. That's what it is.

[David Borey]

It's what she painted her shoes to be. Yo, she tried to double black.

[Langston Kerman]

She tried to double black the forces.

[David Borey]

And just drop that in like we weren't going to be like, what the does that mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I never tried to paint my shoes anything.

[David Borey]

That's so crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

I like her, though. Send in another email if you're listening. I like her.

[David Borey]

I'm good on you, sweetheart. We had enough. This was great. I think we did it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think we did something.

[David Borey]

I think. If you have black Air Force ones, if you are planning on buying black Air Force ones, apparently you can't get them in stores anymore. So go to those illicit websites. I'm sure pornhub has their version of it.

[Langston Kerman]

Especially the Dollar Tree section.

[David Borey]

It's right next to Dollar Tree is buying black Air Force ones. And have a good day. You want to tell the people where they can find you.

[Langston Kerman]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Patreon.com davidborry Buy my special. March 1, I'm gonna be in Renton, Washington at the Carco Theater. March 14, I'm going to be in Cincinnati at the comedy Commonwealth. And March 15th, I'm going to be at the Comedy Corner Underground.

[David Borey]

Hell yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

In Minneapolis, Minnesota.

[David Borey]

Go to all those places. Go watch David live. And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can see me live. February 22nd, I'm going to be in Vancouver for the Just for Last festival. And then March 29th through the 31st, I am going to be. It might be 27th through the 29th, I don't remember, but either way, end of March, I'm going to be at the Vermont Comedy Club performing there. It's going to be. Dope Buy those tickets as always if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us what the fuck happens when you wear those clear air force ones, send it all to mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. Buy the merch like subscribe rate review call the number 844-LIL-MOMS do the Right Thing. Be blessed. Bye bitch. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kerman, co hosted by David.

[Langston Kerman]

Bore executive produced by Will Ferrell and.

[David Borey]

Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wayne.

[Langston Kerman]

Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman Music by Nick Chambers artwork by Dogon Kriega.

[David Borey]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.

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