Electric Slide n' Socket (with KevOnStage) RE-RELEASE

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – Episode: Electric Slide n' Socket (with KevOnStage) RE-RELEASE

Release Date: June 17, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Bourn, Bori
Guest: KevOnStage

---

Introduction

In the re-release of the "Electric Slide n' Socket" episode of My Momma Told Me, hosted by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts, comedians Langston Kerman and David Bourn delve into the intriguing world of Black conspiracy theories—ranging from the whimsical to the unsettling. Joined by guest KevOnStage, the trio navigates through personal anecdotes, debunking myths, and sharing laughs over childhood superstitions passed down by their mothers.

---

Childhood Superstitions and Mom's Advice

The episode kicks off with the hosts reminiscing about the various conspiracy theories they grew up believing, primarily those instilled by their mothers. A central theme revolves around the admonition against playing with silver toys during lightning storms—a precautionary tale that blends superstition with parental concern.

David Bourn shares a poignant memory:
"I remember my mom coming in and telling me, 'You can't play with no silver toy. You're gonna get struck down by lightning'” (02:12).
Despite knowing the plastic nature of his toys, young David couldn't shake the fear instilled by his mother's warnings.

Langston Kerman adds humorously:
"Stick a fork in a socket, and I promise you, I saw a bubble the size of a quarter" (25:07).*
This blend of fear and fascination highlights the complex relationship children have with parental advice.

---

Guest Introduction and Contributions

At 06:30, Langston introduces KevOnStage, a comedian, producer, and content creator. The hosts express their enthusiasm about Kev's participation, eager to hear his unique take on the discussed conspiracy theories. Kev brings his own set of childhood experiences, adding depth and diversity to the conversation.

KevOnStage quips:
"If you hate cops just because they're cops, the next time you get in trouble, yeah, call a crackhead" (63:03).*
His edgy humor sets the tone for an engaging and candid discussion.

---

Personal Anecdotes about Lightning and Silver Objects

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to sharing personal stories related to lightning and myths surrounding silver objects. The hosts explore their upbringing in environments where such superstitions were prevalent, dissecting the mix of genuine concern and unfounded fears.

Bori recounts a childhood incident:
"I just throw the can in the microwave to heat it up, and I was sitting about three inches away from that bitch. And there was, like, four seconds in, a lightning bolt went from the top of the can to the side" (29:13).*
This vivid memory underscores the impact of parental warnings on children's perceptions of safety.

---

Debunking Myths and Sharing Facts

The conversation shifts towards debunking these childhood myths with factual information. The hosts reference the National Weather Service to clarify misconceptions about lightning safety, emphasizing the irrationality of some superstitions.

Langston Kerman points out:
"Lying down is dangerous because if lightning strikes nearby, the electric current has a better chance of spreading through your whole body" (47:04).*
This factual clarification serves to dispel fears and highlight the importance of understanding the science behind lightning safety.

---

Notable Stories and Examples

Roy Cleveland Sullivan, a park ranger struck by lightning seven times, becomes a focal point in their discussion. The hosts examine his extraordinary survival story, questioning the plausibility and linking it back to the episode's central theme of unusual and lesser-known conspiracy theories.

Langston Kerman marvels:
"Roy was drippy with shredder toys. We need to find out if he was an avid shredder collector" (53:19).*
This humorous take blends skepticism with curiosity, encouraging listeners to question and verify extraordinary claims.

---

Humorous Storytelling and Lighthearted Banter

Throughout the episode, the hosts and guest engage in playful banter, adding levity to the discussion. They explore humorous "what-if" scenarios, such as the possibility of gaining superpowers from lightning strikes or the antics of celebrities like Michael Jackson in bizarre situations.

David Bourn shares a comedic reflection:
"I watched that documentary with my wife, and if I never knew this, I would never have known how bad it was. So we went to vacation in Florida, and they were like, 'We got tickets to SeaWorld, man. We should go.' And I was like, 'Yes, we should.'” (36:37).*
These lighthearted exchanges balance the more serious discussions, keeping the podcast entertaining and relatable.

---

Conclusions and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the influence of parental advice on shaping worldviews. They acknowledge the blend of logic and superstition in upbringing, highlighting the challenges of navigating truth in a world rife with misinformation.

David Bourn muses:
"The wildest thing about parenthood is that you really are responsible for somebody's worldview. How they start off seeing the world, then they either have to accept that or change it." (31:06).*
This introspective note underscores the episode's exploration of inherited beliefs and the journey towards personal understanding.

---

Notable Quotes

• David Bourn at [02:12]:
  "I remember my mom coming in and telling me, 'You can't play with no silver toy. You're gonna get struck down by lightning'."

• Langston Kerman at [25:07]:
  "Stick a fork in a socket, and I promise you, I saw a bubble the size of a quarter."

• KevOnStage at [63:03]:
  "If you hate cops just because they're cops, the next time you get in trouble, yeah, call a crackhead."

• Bori at [29:13]:
  "I just throw the can in the microwave to heat it up, and I was sitting about three inches away from that bitch."

• Langston Kerman at [47:04]:
  "Lying down is dangerous because if lightning strikes nearby, the electric current has a better chance of spreading through your whole body."

• David Bourn at [31:06]:
  "The wildest thing about parenthood is that you really are responsible for somebody's worldview. How they start off seeing the world, then they either have to accept that or change it."

---

Final Remarks

My Momma Told Me delivers a compelling blend of humor, personal storytelling, and myth-busting that resonates with listeners from diverse backgrounds. By unpacking childhood superstitions and challenging long-held beliefs, the hosts and their guest provide both entertainment and insightful commentary on the formation of personal and cultural narratives.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the advice they've received from their parents, question the validity of those teachings, and share their own stories. The episode emphasizes the importance of critical thinking and the journey toward understanding the world beyond inherited beliefs.

For more engaging discussions and to share your own conspiracy theories, visit mymamapodmail.com or check out the latest episodes on the Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts platforms.

Transcript

[Langston Kerman]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Tom Yamas]

Taking over the helm of NBC nightly news, a 75 year old broadcast. It's a great responsibility. Good evening, I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to bring people at home. Closer to the store, wildfires continue to be a threat. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News, NBC News, I'm Tom Galamas. That's what we do every night.

[Langston Kerman]

NBC Nightly News with Tom yamas. Evenings on NBC.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal, drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[David Bourn]

Now more than ever, Lowe's knows you don't just want a low price, you want the lowest price. And with our lowest price guarantee, you can count on us for competitive prices on all your home improvement projects. If you find a qualifying lower price somewhere else on the same item, we'll match it. Lowes we help you save price match.

[California Psychics]

Applies to same item current price at qualifying retailers.

[Bori]

Exclusions and terms apply.

[David Bourn]

Learn how we'll match price@lowe's.com lowest price guarantee.

[California Psychics]

@ California Psychics, we know that sometimes you can wake up thinking.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't.

[Jenny Garth]

Know if I'm in the right career.

[Langston Kerman]

Ew or the right relationship.

[California Psychics]

But whatever. Your life dilemma at California Psychics will give you the guidance you need to feel certain about your life choices. And because we only connect you with the very best, we guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free. California psychics call 1-800-PREDICT today and get 20 minutes for just $20.

[Bori]

Trench coat. Ralph was crazy. He just looked like a sex offender.

[Langston Kerman]

He really did.

[David Bourn]

As we grew up and we learned more about the world, he made less and less fit. As a child, we didn't have enough frame of reference.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Bourn]

But as we grew, we were like, you know, I wish they'd stopped doing that. But yeah. And also, do you think if you saw a humanoid turtle in a trench coat, you'd be like, man, that guy was weird. But oh, well. And you just go on about your Day. Like, that's not. Not gonna happen.

[Bori]

Maybe put some fucking shoes on is what I'm saying.

[Langston Kerman]

That'd be great.

[Bori]

There's, like, a lot of other moves you could start.

[Langston Kerman]

You could do pants. Pants would be nice.

[David Bourn]

Roughly, you have webbed feet. You've got the. Like. Come on.

[Bori]

Cause even if he didn't have pants on, then it's like, okay, this dude's in a trench coat and knee pads. That's already a problem.

[Langston Kerman]

You got a big problem on.

[Bori]

That's already physically green.

[David Bourn]

Legs. Your legs are green. I see all that.

[Bori]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

The fedora doesn't class it up enough for me not to notice. Green and knee pads.

[Bori]

And he's stinking like pizza. This is a giant red flag. God.

[Langston Kerman]

The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Parching to ven. And turkey stuffing.

[David Bourn]

Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Bori]

As long as you know I can have any man I want to, baby. That's actual and factual. Welcome back to another episode of My.

[Langston Kerman]

Mama Told Me, the podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we finally work.

[Bori]

To prove that Shatasha Williams is not just the long gone forgotten singer of the hook of Thuggish Ruggish Bone. She is, in fact, a fool. Founding member of the group. They were the Bone Thugs, and she was the harmony.

[David Bourn]

Whoa.

[Bori]

We forgot about that, didn't we? I got you, Shatasha, baby. Keep your head up. My name is David Bourn.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm lazy. Coming. Our guest is already. He's already feeling it.

[David Bourn]

I go, please, people don't talk enough about. And Tasha. She said, and Tasha.

[Bori]

Come on.

[David Bourn]

And we forgot about her. And then we. They said in the name Bone Thugs and Harmony. We know they weren't singing. Come on. Justice for Tasha. Thank you, Bori. Can I call you Boris?

[Bori]

I prefer it.

[David Bourn]

Bori, man. And you protecting black women by not forgetting what their accomplishments were. What they did, man. That's what I'm talking about.

[Bori]

Come on. She's saying all of their names at the end of that song.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, in the house, the knee bone is connected to the girl bone. And we forgot. We forgot that part of the song.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Oh, man, that's intense.

[Bori]

That's.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. Do you think. You think they're ever sitting back and being like, damn, we really. We. We owe her something. We really fucked her over.

[Bori]

I feel like they must know because I have done a deep bone dive, as we all have adults Here.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure. If this were Cameron's podcast, we would have had to pause you pretty hard there, but. But this ain't that podcast.

[Bori]

2024. I'm. No pauses.

[David Bourn]

There we go.

[Bori]

All gas, no breaks. I'm going straight.

[David Bourn]

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

[Bori]

I just like. I just talk and sometimes it's. It's. Sometimes I talk about mouth meat stuff and it means whatever you need it to mean.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta put that on your website. Sometimes I talk about mouth meat stuff. That feels like a little bit of a signature detail about you.

[Bori]

I wouldn't say it's. I don't need to celebrate it. It's just, you know how I'm living day to day.

[Langston Kerman]

We are excited. You've already heard his voice. Our guest today, we've been trying to get him on for a long time and it's finally happening. And he's so funny and we're so grateful that he's here. He's a comedian, a producer, a content creator, a person of extraordinary breath and talents. He's wonderful. He's funny. You're going to love him. Please give it up for our guest, Mr. Kev. On stage, everybody. There we go.

[David Bourn]

Nice, Nice.

[Bori]

I got a few in there. I got a few in there.

[David Bourn]

Hey, thanks, you guys for having me on the show, man. I'm excited to be here, man. This is. This is the way to kick off the year. You know, Hollywood, we really just started working today. For real?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

So this is like the. Feels like the first day back at school. And I'm glad to be doing this with y' all.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, we're happy you're here. I was at my manager's office this morning and they said something similar to that and I got real mad. I was like, y' all niggas, What? I didn't work for nine months, bitch. What you mean? You just getting started today.

[Bori]

Take the first off. There's work to be done.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

What the fuck are you talking about? Get your ass back in the office and make some calls that aren't gonna turn into anything, but call them anyway.

[David Bourn]

Call em, man.

[Bori]

I'm trying to read for the in the house reboot.

[David Bourn]

At least lie to me, man. Just lie to me. At least tell me. I made some calls, they passed. Tell me something, man.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all I'm asking for is giving me. Make me believe you try. Do that thing where a car is coming and we trot across the street and we're not going any faster than when we be walking. But trot show me the trot.

[David Bourn]

Give me a light jog, man.

[Bori]

That's a big way that I show people how I care about this. Yeah, I just picked the shoulders up. The feet does not change.

[Langston Kerman]

The feet doesn't change at all.

[Bori]

Give you mine.

[David Bourn]

That's all people can ask for.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all you can ask for.

[Bori]

I'm walking.

[Langston Kerman]

Kev, you came to us with the conspiracy theory that I don't think I had ever heard before. Bori, where do you fall?

[Bori]

I've heard this before.

[Langston Kerman]

You have heard this. That's exciting. Okay, great. So I'm the only. But you said, my mama told me, never play with silver toys when there's.

[David Bourn]

Lightning outside or you will be struck down. Exactly. So, you know, growing up as we probably did, we're in the same generation, you know, action figures were a big part of our life. You know what I'm saying? We didn't have iPads and stuff like that. We had cartoon. We played outside. We had action figures. So at the time that I learned of this conspiracy theory, I had a shredder, which was my prize villain. I was a big Turtles fan. You know, I had a couple legit turtles. And I didn't always get the actual toys. I got versions of them, you know, like. You know, like, I remember one year I asked my dad for the Batman coop. You know what I'm saying? And it came with Batman, and he just got me the coop. It was in the box, and the Batman was gone. And I was like, what happened to the bat? A kid in Africa wouldn't have had nothing. I was like, but he didn't just buy, like, a coop. Batman came in that box. Somebody had opened it and taken the Batman out. And then somehow my dad just came into possession of the coop. But I was like, I have nobody to put in the coop. So I just had a random GI Joe man in the coop. It just didn't hit the same.

[Langston Kerman]

He was just hanging out in the back of Kmart being like, y' all ain't about to throw this away, right?

[David Bourn]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

Cause I know a boy who might like this quite a bit.

[David Bourn]

Salvation Army, Christmas gifts, you know, whatever it was. So he gave me, like, half of what I wanted. But at this time, I had. You know, I had mostly off brand men. We called them men. I had mostly off brand men. Just.

[Bori]

Legally, you had to call them.

[David Bourn]

Men, because they're not action figures. They not sold at Toys R Us or KB Toys. They sold at places that don't even sell toys. You know what I'M saying, oh, yeah, swap.

[Bori]

G.I. joe.

[David Bourn]

G.I. exactly. They adjacent, right? So, but this time I had actually, if I think for like, a birthday hat, I had, like, four of the actual turtles and an actual Shredder. So these were like the creme de la creme of my toys. I play with them every day. So I'm playing with them, you know what I'm saying? It's a lightning storm and the power is out. So I'm really like, oh, this is. You know what I'm saying? I'm playing with these action figures, right? So my mom comes in. I got the Shredder in my right hand. I don't know why this is such a vivid memory. Maybe because I was so confused by what she was saying. And she was like. She was like, what are you doing, boy? Put that down. You know, you can't play with no silver toy. You gonna get struck down by lightning. And I looked at the Shredder, and I'm like, this is plastic, first of all. This is not. And I was not like, I've always been kind of a smart person. In my head, I was young enough to know that this cannot, cannot conduct electricity at all. There is the plaque, and his Shredder stuff was coming off. Right. You know what I'm saying? I play with the toy for real. So you can see it's like brown. You know what I'm saying? It's like the color of the skin under there.

[Langston Kerman]

You get Shredder in the bathtub one too many times, and that ain't Shredder no more.

[David Bourn]

Exactly. It wasn't like they were putting a lot of high quality stuff into these men.

[Langston Kerman]

That's just a Japanese man in football gear. That ain't greater. Japanese, I think. Yeah, he's Japanese. Yeah. Wow.

[Bori]

I did not know that.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And the lore. I think there's a lot of lore in Ninja Turtles about where Shredder and Splinter come from. Some of which suggests that they are connected directly. And some of which, they didn't know each other at all. But always Shredder was like a big mob guy in Japan that then finds his way into New York somehow.

[Bori]

Learned something. I thought he was Italian for some reason.

[Langston Kerman]

I'mma get you turtles.

[Bori]

Now. Look under the sewers.

[David Bourn]

Do you guys have accents on your resume? Do you have Italian accent? Proficient. Because you need to add it. If you don't have it, you need to add it.

[Bori]

Oh, no, no, no. I tend to only do these in the house.

[David Bourn]

So, yeah. So she was like, you know, she wasn't Fussing. She was just genuinely concerned. Like, put this. And I'm like, I'm inside the house. The windows are closed. I was literally. I didn't say any of this. Cause she's a black mom. Like, you can't.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure, yeah, yeah.

[David Bourn]

You know what I'm saying? But in my head, I'm like, how is lightning gonna come through the world? Avoid all the objects outside that are actual silver, catalytic converters, Everything that's in the world. Go through my closed window and see this plastic shredder in my hand and strike me with lightning. Like, I just was like, there's no way this could be true. But I put it down. I picked up, like, Rocksteady Bebop. She was like, all right, now that you know those are purple, you know.

[Langston Kerman]

Those are decent lightning fearing men. Go ahead, enjoy yourself in the dark.

[David Bourn]

But I just like, bro, I remember I never bought into it. Like, I don't have foil. I don't have a fork. This is a plastic man with more plastic that is just colored to look like silver. You know what I'm saying? I can't die. And I never heard no other parents say that. That was the first. It's actually interesting that Bori had heard that. Cause I wasn't like, at the other friend's house. And they were like, man, you know what I'm saying? Mom was on that. I never heard that before or from anybody else. But it's good to know that it's not that unusual.

[Bori]

I've heard it just with metal in general. Silver is specific. I had just heard it in metal. Don't be fucking around with metal.

[David Bourn]

Got it.

[Langston Kerman]

If it's lightning outside, I think that's what I had heard as well, is like, you can't, like, be running around with forks when you. When there's lightning outside.

[Bori]

To be completely honest, I don't have any silver in the house now. I'm 36 years old. Like, I don't have.

[Langston Kerman]

We gotta get you some silver.

[Bori]

Oh, you got so much silver on it right now. Langston, you got so much silver. You got so much, buddy.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta have silver in your house.

[Bori]

You. Man, I don't believe in you.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't have an ounce of silver.

[Bori]

Exactly.

[David Bourn]

Trust me, Daddy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're going crazy. You're doing good. Yeah. I had always heard metal, like, avoid, obviously metal objects holding metal during lightning storms. I had never heard silver specifically, and I certainly had never then spread that out to even silver appearing objects. Do you think that silver. There was a specific reasoning for silver. For your mom.

[David Bourn]

You know, it's funny. Metal makes sense. I feel like maybe through the grapevine, somebody said metal, and she just was like, silver is metal. I'm just gonna take the metal part out and focus on the silver. Because I never questioned that part until today. Metal, I would have believed. Or even. And the thing I think was messing with me is the toy was plastic. So I was just like, this doesn't make any sense. But, you know, how do black parents learn anything? Right? Like, the Internet's really interesting. Cause I'm realizing, like, there's this meme that goes viral every once in a while. And it's like, if you had this covered, you was black. And it's like a blanket I recognize. And I'm like, how did so many black. Where was this manufactured? Yeah, like, so I feel like that information came through like, that. Like, the way those cookies became tins for, like, so many. Like, who makes. Who's the first person that does that? Why do we black people, so many of us have that shared experience that, you know, there's no cookies in the cookie tin, but there's like, sewing equipment or whatever.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

But I think it was one of those things. Like, I don't know how this information got around, but it seems knowledge, it.

[Langston Kerman]

Does speak to the fact that, like, to some extent, the black community that we refer to did exist in a much more active way when we were kids. And obviously when our parents were kids and all of that shit, in part because they were all learning from the same six, like, templates of people, where it's like everybody just learned the same six things. So we are, in fact, a community. And now the Internet sort of disrupts the ability for that to even be true anymore.

[David Bourn]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Bori]

Yeah, for sure. I feel like a lot of my life, I've taken so much word as fact from just like a dude sitting on the hood of a car.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You know, 100%.

[Bori]

And it's like, he's confident. He has a car.

[David Bourn]

I guess the confidence is key, man.

[Bori]

Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I remember my mom once told me that Aretha Franklin's son had run off with. What's his name? He was the army dude in fucking Different World. And I can't remember his fucking name now. But he's a very fantastic actor.

[David Bourn]

Lou Reigns.

[Langston Kerman]

Not Lou Rawls.

[David Bourn]

I mean, not Lou Rawls. Louis Gaines.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

Yes. Some Mr. Gainesville.

[Langston Kerman]

Not Louis Gossett Jr. God damn. I'm gonna be the other dude. Yeah, he was in Fargo Season five.

[David Bourn]

Glenn Turman.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes, Glenn Turman. My mom told me for years that Glenn Turman had had, like, a secret affair with Aretha Franklin's son and they had run off together, and that was why her and Glenn Turman didn't make it and all this shit. And I've never even looked up to verify if there's any truth to that. And I've never heard anyone else make that claim. It was just my mom saying it.

[Bori]

Did you come home? We believed everybody was related. We were one of those, like, Tatiana Ali was for sure Muhammad Ali's daughter. What? I quoted that till recently.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And then you look it up and you're like, oh, no, I don't think so.

[Bori]

I think it's because I was like, well, there's not that many famous black people. They must be related half down the line. Down the line. Gotta connect somewhere at some point. There's a lot of Smiths, a lot of Jackson. Is that crazy?

[David Bourn]

Oh, my God.

[Langston Kerman]

So. So your mom says this to you, you agree to disagree, but you put down the shredder.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Have you carried any of this onward in your life? Have you since been, like, weirdly superstitious or nervous around silver objects in a lightning storm, despite what you know, logically to be untrue inside of this?

[David Bourn]

No. Absolutely not. I think, as hard as it is to admit, I didn't believe my mom. I just could not defy her. And I think those are two separate things.

[Bori]

Oh, yeah.

[David Bourn]

In my mind, I was just like, this is just not true. But, you know, small black children didn't really have a voice growing up the way we did. We really couldn't question our parents. But I remember being like, this is just not true. And if she weren't here, I would be playing with this. And if I got struck by lightning, I would have been really surprised. Like, dang. She was right. It's crazy.

[Bori]

Let me tell you, as far as my family, large black men don't have much of a voice. I'm still not pushing the line on things she says.

[David Bourn]

Really?

[Bori]

She listen. She had a heart. She's from a different country. I just. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that's. Maybe they are sneaky. I don't.

[David Bourn]

Oh, my God. Yo.

[Bori]

My mom just tried to FaceTime me. That's bad.

[Langston Kerman]

You're in trouble.

[David Bourn]

Yeah. You up on it, bro? She was on it.

[Langston Kerman]

Baby girl figured out how to get a feed, and she's.

[Bori]

She's listening.

[Langston Kerman]

She heard exactly what you said?

[Bori]

Yeah, she's listening. I'll call you back.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Tom Yamas]

Taking over the helm of NBC Nightly News, a 75 year old broadcast, it's a great responsibility. Good evening, I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to bring people at home closer to the store. Wildfires continue to be a threat. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News, NBC News, I'm Tom Yamas. That's what we do every night.

[Langston Kerman]

NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas. Evenings on NBC.

[Jenny Garth]

We've all heard the stories. Missing persons, double lives, suspicious basements. But here's one mystery you don't need in your life. Why can't my kid learn to ride a bike? For a lot of families, it turns into a saga. Meltdowns in the driveway, scraped knees and frustrated parents googling how to teach a kid to ride a bike without losing your mind. That's where Guardian Bikes comes in. Their bikes are lightweight, low to the ground and built to help kids find their balance fast. Most are riding confidently in just one day. No training wheels, no tears, just high fives and I did it moments. It's everything. Learning to ride should be simple, smooth and actually fun. So skip the struggle and start with a bike that's made to make it easy. Guardian bikes. Go to guardianbikes.com you'll save hundreds when comparing Guardian to its competitors. Plus get a free bike lock and pump a $50 value with your purchase when you join their newsletter. That's guardianbikes.com hi, it's Jenny Garth.

[Jana Kramer]

We all know the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health. But what about our sexual health? I've been there, feeling totally stuck when it comes to my libido. That's why I started taking Addi. And let me tell you, I have seen firsthand what a difference it can make in how you feel. Addi is the only FDA approved pill clinically proven to help certain premenopausal women have more interest in sex, have more satisfying sex and lower the stress from low libido. ADDI has helped hundreds of thousands of women get their drive back, including me. Talk to your doctor or visit a d d y I.com to learn more about Addy the Little Pink Pill. Individual results may vary.

[LifeLock]

Addi or Flabanserin is for premenopausal women with Acquired Generalized Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder HSDD who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past who have had low sexual desire. No matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner, this low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship or medicine or other drug use. Addie is not for use in children, men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks. Close in time to your ADI dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking ADDI at bedtime. This risk increases if you take certain prescriptions, OTC or herbal medications, or have liver problems and can happen when you take ADDI without alcohol or other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of addi's ingredients. Allergic reaction may include hives, itching or trouble breathing. Sometimes serious sleepiness can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide including boxed [e-mail] PI addie visit a d.

[Jana Kramer]

D y I dot com to learn more about Addy.

[Bori]

I have a question for you guys specifically to this because this because this one is big for me. How afraid of electricity were you as a child though?

[David Bourn]

Oh man, I have a funny story about this that I haven't thought about in a long time. I was a bright kid but also not the brightest at all. So upon learning about conducting electricity and metal and stuff and how you shouldn't put forks in sockets, I went home immediately one day and was like, nah, ain't no way. And I promise y' all, as God is my witness, this happened for real.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh no.

[David Bourn]

Went home from school that day, take a fork, immediate sock, go to my room, close the door first socket that.

[Langston Kerman]

I love that I first of all, I love that you needed privacy for this.

[Bori]

He turned the lights down.

[Langston Kerman]

Light a candle, yeah, put that Lou Rawls on that you were talking about earlier and now it's fork and socket time.

[David Bourn]

Completely.

[Langston Kerman]

You'll never find don't a fork like mine.

[David Bourn]

So yeah, close the Door. Take this fork immediately, go to the socket, and no condom, no foreplay. Jam it in the socket, right? And I promise, y' all. I saw a bubble. Like, I got shocked immediately. And I saw what felt like a bubble the size of, like. You remember Those little, like, 25 cent things you buy a toy and you take them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Bourn]

So probably like, half of that bubble go up my forearm.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no.

[David Bourn]

All the way up here. Immediately, I knew I was a superhero.

[Bori]

That exactly what I was. It's so good he said that.

[David Bourn]

I was like, oh, my God, this is my cause. You know, we watching X Men and Spider Man. They all have that, like, event. And I spent the rest of the day trying to, like, you know, kind of like the Tobey Maguire. Spider Man. Like, how I was like, how do I get the electricity? I don't realize. I nearly probably killed myself. I am like.

[Langston Kerman]

You're like, no, I know it's in me. I just haven't figured out how to activate it.

[David Bourn]

I figured out how to activate this electric. Like, I should be flying. The electron should be flowing through me. I'm a science experiment now. Am I a hero or villain? It depends. I don't know. It's too early to tell. First thing I gotta do is get these powers under control. Spent, like, the whole afternoon doing that. And eventually I just was like, man, I'm kind of hungry, and I just made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and never revisited that moment again.

[Langston Kerman]

First of all, I'm sorry that that happened to you. I was hopeful, too. I was hopeful that that story ended with you having electric powers.

[Bori]

No, it feels like an origin story for sure.

[David Bourn]

Yeah, I was right there, man. The spider bit me. I fell into the vat of science liquid, and I just. No powers, man.

[Bori]

Yeah, you did all right, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you did all right for yourself. I, too, as a child, I wasn't as afraid of it as much as I wanted to be able to access some powers. And so many of, like, great superheroes tend to come from, like, weird accidents like that. Like, the Flash was my favorite growing up. I wanted to be a. Yeah, I was like, I'm run fast. And so there would be times I wasn't brave enough to stick a fork in a socket. But there were times, and I remember this specifically where, like, we moved to this neighborhood called Bellwood, which is, like, outside of Chicago. It's like a more black neighborhood than I was living in at the previous to that. And I would go outside and race cars. Like, I would sit, like, in front of my house and wait till cars were passing, and then I would just run full speed next to cars, being like, yeah, I'm gonna fucking beat this car. And then at one point, it was like a weird hour of the day where I'm racing a car and a dude yelled out, the fuck are you doing? And I was like, I can't. I guess I ain't got no powers. I don't think I'm gonna race cars no more.

[David Bourn]

All it took was one random outburst for you to stop your dream.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I was like, this ain't superpowers. This is accountability, and I'm meeting it.

[Bori]

Hey, each one, teach one. I was afraid. I didn't think I could get superpowers, But I have a very specific reason. I was afraid of electricity. I was a big, latchkey kid, right? And if you were a latchkey kid, it was. Don't cook. Was, like, the big thing, right? Do not cook. Don't fucking cook. And so mom was gone. I cook immediately because we don't. We didn't have anything good in the house because after school, we didn't have anything good. I was like, I'm gonna make a tuna fish sandwich. But I was like, let me church this up a bit. You know what's better than a tuna fish sandwich? A hot tuna melt.

[David Bourn]

Yeah, right.

[Langston Kerman]

You ain't lying.

[David Bourn]

You're not wrong about it. I'm lying.

[Bori]

I'm saying it started out smart. So I fucking. I took the can off, I drained the juice, and then I was like, I'll just throw the can in the microwave.

[David Bourn]

Oh, boy.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no.

[Bori]

I just throw the can in the microwave to heat it up, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, God, no.

[Bori]

And I put it in there, and I'm sitting. Cause I'm. I have fun. Couldn't have been more than eight or nine. I'm sitting about three inches away from that bitch. And there was, like, four seconds in, maybe. There was, like, a lightning bolt that went from the top of the can to the side of the can, and it was, like, all bright, and it hurt my eyes, and I backed up. And ever since then, I've been so afraid of, like, I. Because I thought the whole house was gonna burn down. And ever since then, I've been so afraid of electricity, I thought, you're gonna.

[David Bourn]

Say you've been afraid of tuna. Like, you know what, man?

[Bori]

No, no, no, no.

[David Bourn]

I ain't been nowhere near tuna ever since.

[Langston Kerman]

Nigga, get that albacore away from me.

[Bori]

If anything, I doubled down.

[David Bourn]

So did you eat anything that day, or were you Just.

[Bori]

No, I just pulled it out and made it a cold tuna fish sandwich.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[David Bourn]

I love it. To not deter your life. Okay, that's out. Regular tuna fish is cool. I'll just go with that. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You ate that radiated tuna?

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Jesus Christ.

[Bori]

It wasn't like we had a bunch to just, like, throw around. You know what I mean? I already had a plan.

[Langston Kerman]

You took a big swing making the tuna. You couldn't. You couldn't just skip it.

[David Bourn]

Hilarious.

[Bori]

But, man. Man, I remember how it scared the.

[Langston Kerman]

Shit out of me.

[David Bourn]

Nah, that's great.

[Langston Kerman]

So you didn't get the lightning powers that you dreamt of. You believe necessarily that your mom was correct in all of this? Where do you stand now in all of this? What are you telling your children you're a father? What are you telling your children as it relates to lightning and experimentation with forks and sockets and whatnot?

[David Bourn]

You know what? Shoot. My kids are 17 and 15. I realized I've never had a conversation with them about any of the safety of lightning, period.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[David Bourn]

I think also because, like, their generation didn't grow up outside as much as we did, so they're never like. I can't even say they've ever been outdoors in a lightning storm. Thunder. Lightning storm. And they weren't, like, in a car or something, so I never had to pass that along. It's so interesting how the thing about parenthood that really messes with my mind is, like, the money. The money. In addition to that, it's like, for better or for worse, you really are responsible for somebody's worldview. Like, how they start off seeing the world, then they either have to accept that, change it. Like, my mom was like, this is the thing about lightning, kid. You know what I'm saying? And I had to reject that. But at least she put us. She put something out there. And I feel like that's the wildest thing about parenthood, is like, bro, I don't even know what's happening in the world. Don't listen to me. I don't know. I don't even know how good I'm doing it as a parent. I remember one time, it was really funny. I mess with my kids about this. We had, like a. What does the animal sound? You know, we were doing that. Like, it was like a little picture book.

[Bori]

Oh, the pull and play.

[David Bourn]

No, no, it was like a picture book. It was like, cow, Cat. You're, like, teaching them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

And I would be like, cow. The cow says moo, right? And I remember getting to, like, Giraffe. Uh. Oh. And I was like, you know, the giraffe doesn't make a sound that we notice. And I remember thinking. And I did this. I was like, I'm gonna make up a giraffe sound. And I hope my kids go to school and fight tooth and nail, because they're gonna believe me. So I was like. And the giraffe says. And I did that all the time. I made up, like, alligators, giraffes, any animal that didn't have a sound for sure. I was just like. And the crocodile says. And I wanted them to just go to school or daycare and be like, no, man. My dad said. A giraffe said. And he's right. He was round about cows. He was right about birds and ducks. You know what I'm saying? But, like, why would he lie?

[Langston Kerman]

Tell me that. It couldn't possibly be because of his insecurity. It couldn't be because he don't know nothing.

[Bori]

As one member of this panel who's not a father, I think he did the right thing. I believe you want him to not respect you. Think you don't know anything about nature. My dad doesn't even know what a giraffe sounds like. He's supposed to keep me safe in the world. Nah, he don't even know about a giraffe noise.

[Langston Kerman]

If you want to run my household, you better know what a giraffe is.

[David Bourn]

Better make it up, man. Yeah, until we see one and we're proven otherwise. And I remember we went to the zoo one time, and they were like, they're not doing the sound. I was like, man, they're maybe tired or something. I don't know.

[Bori]

Oh, he's. He's sick. You're sick.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a problem with zoos. They sedate the animals. They're not themselves. Here. We gotta see them in nature.

[Bori]

When we go to Africa, then you'll hear the.

[David Bourn]

These are in captivity, man. Like, I don't even know this, but did y' all watch Blackfish, the documentary about SeaWorld?

[Bori]

Oh, yeah.

[David Bourn]

So, you know, I went to SeaWorld all the time as a kid, and I remember them. I remember the dorsal fin thing specifically. It's like flapped over in SeaWorld. And we would. You know, the kids always ask, and they would say, oh, you know, they made up something like, oh, yeah, this happens a lot with these type of whales. And then in Blackfish, they were like, that never happens ever. It only happens at SeaWorld.

[Bori]

I remember being like, oh, my God.

[David Bourn]

I just. I believe these People because they work with the Web. It never crossed my mind that they could be. It's bias and propaganda. It's big, Big C. World wants to frame little children's minds. And, like, that's what parenthood is like. Like, somebody just says something and goes with it so confidently. And who are you to question them?

[Langston Kerman]

They're like, listen, kids, his dorsal fin is flipped that way because he's having too much fun.

[Bori]

He's doubled over in excitement.

[Langston Kerman]

You ever had too many Skittles? That's what he feels like.

[David Bourn]

And we don't know enough to challenge them, man. They have to know they're the people that be with them all day.

[Langston Kerman]

They were beating the shit out them whales. Honestly, he's struggling to keep his fin up.

[Bori]

I'm not pro that, but they did a Good job. Cause SeaWorld was fun as shit. It is amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

Never got to go, man.

[Bori]

The Dolphin show at SeaWorld is one of the top five experiences in my whole life.

[David Bourn]

All right, guys, I shouldn't do this. I should not do this.

[Langston Kerman]

No, please do it.

[David Bourn]

We're already having a great time.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

I watched that documentary with my wife, and I was like, if I never knew this, I would never know this. So we went to vacation in Florida, like, I don't know, two years ago. And they were like, we got tickets to SeaWorld, man. We should go. And I was just like, yes, we should. I'm not gonna rob my children. At least a chance to watch Blackfish and know the lie, but they gotta see a. Well, do you have to, man? I'm sorry. SeaWorld is still open. The documentary didn't do enough damage, man. People were like, oh, that's crazy. But it's still doing well.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Bori]

And you gotta know the stakes. You gotta know the stakes. Then you gotta choose. You have to know how much fun you had. And then you have to be like, all right, now I choose. Because otherwise, you never even got to have that fun. And that's.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's probably my issue is I've chosen not to do it, but it's only because I've never tried that sweet SeaWorld Coke. You know what I mean? Like, I've never gotten a taste.

[David Bourn]

It's good, man.

[Langston Kerman]

It seems like it.

[David Bourn]

I feel so bad, but I'm like, man, it is cool, though. I'm sorry, man. There's so many. We just gotta be honest with ourselves, man. We are not perfect people. We're flawed individuals. And I let capitalism get the best of me. And I was all in for, like, years When I saw that, it was like years. I didn't take my kids to SeaWorld, but, you know, I was weak in that moment. And we had the best time.

[Langston Kerman]

I felt, you're gonna deprive him.

[Bori]

It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing.

[David Bourn]

Which made me feel more guilty. Like, if it was terrible, I would have been like, man, this man. I shouldn't even. But because it was so good, I was. I mean, the food was good, the.

[Langston Kerman]

Rides, we watched a show, we ate. Well, it was. It was a hell of a time.

[Bori]

But listen, here's what I argue. Is that not the mark of a truly great father. You took the burden of that on you and you internalized it. You didn't pass down generational blackfish trauma. You said, no, I'm gonna let these little kids enjoy it. I know the evil that lurks within.

[Langston Kerman]

That's nice.

[David Bourn]

Exactly, man.

[Bori]

I respect that.

[David Bourn]

I'm a hero. Low key. What you're telling me.

[Bori]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I don't think our listeners are gonna agree, but that is cool motherfucking bad.

[Bori]

Nigga you know nothing about.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, we. We have to take a break. We'll be back with more Kev on stage and more My mama told me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal, drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies, and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic emergency event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Tom Yamas]

Taking over the helm of NBC Nightly News, a 75 year old broadcast, it's a great responsibility.

[David Bourn]

Good evening.

[Tom Yamas]

I'm Tom Yamas. You have to go out there to bring people at home closer to the store. Wildfires continue to be. With that massive hurricane comes the massive response. The best reporters in our business know how to listen. And when you listen, you get the truth. For NBC News, NBC News, I'm Tom Yamas. That's what we do every night.

[Langston Kerman]

NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas. Evenings on NBC.

[Jenny Garth]

We've all heard the stories. Missing persons, double lives, suspicious basements. But here's one mystery you don't need in your life. Why can't my kid learn to ride a bike? For a lot of families, it turns into a saga. Meltdowns in the driveway, scraped knees and frustrated parents Googling how to teach a kid to ride a bike without losing your mind. That's where Guardian Bikes comes in. Their bikes are lightweight, low to the ground and built to help kids find their balance fast. Most are riding confidently in just one day. No training wheels, no tears, just high fives and I did it moments. It's everything. Learning to ride should be simple, smooth and actually fun. So skip the struggle and start with a bike that's made to make it easy. Guardian bikes go to guardianbikes.com you'll save hundreds when comparing Guardian to its competitors. Plus get a free bike lock and pump a 50 value with your purchase when you join their newsletter. That's guardianbikes.com hi, it's Jenny Garth.

[Jana Kramer]

We all know the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health, but what about our sexual health? I've been there, feeling totally stuck when it comes to my libido. That's why I started taking addi and let me tell you, I have seen firsthand what a difference it can make in how you feel. Addi is the only FDA approved pill clinically proven to help certain premenopausal women have more interest in sex, have more satisfying sex and lower the stress from low libido. Addie has helped hundreds of thousands of women get their drive back, including me. Talk to your doctor or visit a--y.com to learn more about Addie the Little Pink Pill Individual results may vary.

[LifeLock]

Addy or Flibanserin is for premenopausal women with acquired Generalized Hypoactive Sexual Desire disorder HSDD who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past who have had low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation or the sexual partner. This low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the or medicine or other drug use. ADDI is not for use in children, men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks. Close in time to your ADDI dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking ADDI at bedtime. This risk increases if you take certain prescriptions, OTC or herbal medications or have liver problems and can happen when you take ADDI without alcohol or other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of addi's ingredients. Allergic reaction may include hives, itching or trouble breathing. Sometimes serious sleepiness can occur. Common side effects Include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including morning@ addy.com PI addy.

[Jana Kramer]

Visit a--y.com to learn more about Addy.

[Langston Kerman]

There was doo doo feces thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and it stunk so bad.

[Bori]

We are back with Kev on stage.

[David Bourn]

Is that Michael Jackson?

[Langston Kerman]

Of course it was Michael Jackson.

[David Bourn]

Was that a real clip or was that.

[Langston Kerman]

Of course it was a real clip.

[David Bourn]

What is he talking about? What was that? What was that from? I've never heard that.

[Bori]

I think he went to the zoo or something. I don't really know.

[Langston Kerman]

If I'm not mistaken, it was something relating to the second trial. I feel like it had something to do with the second trial because that was the era, if I'm remembering correctly, where Michael Jackson had linked up with Johnnie Cochran and they were sort of playing him heavy as a black artist being mistreated. They did the same OJ Shit where they're like, this is a racial issue. And I think it had something to do with people abusing him or mistreating him and giving him a shitty boo boo room or something like that.

[David Bourn]

Doo doo doo, man. Play it one more time.

[Bori]

I was hoping you would say that. Yeah.

[David Bourn]

There was doo doo feces thrown.

[Langston Kerman]

All over the walls, the floor, the.

[David Bourn]

Ceiling, and it stunk so bad. Doodoo feces from the King of Pop, man. How have I went 40 years and I never heard that?

[Langston Kerman]

What I like. What I like most is that he says there was doo doo feces as if they are some sort of conjunction. That it is a. That to say one. You cannot say one without the other. It was doo doo feces.

[Bori]

I mean, I think there's levels to poop. And we can all agree that sometimes you do, sometimes you feces.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true.

[David Bourn]

Feces, I feel like, is only used in medical terms. But it's so black that Michael Jackson says doo doo like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, he's a black man.

[David Bourn]

I imagine him not in character. Like, man, there's doo doo everywhere in here, man. What's going on? Michael Jackson, man, Y' all got doo doo. You got feces over here.

[Bori]

It stinks.

[David Bourn]

Stinks. Come on. Stinks. Sold 80 million albums. I gotta deal with doodle and feces.

[Bori]

You think Big Prince got doo doo on his wall?

[Langston Kerman]

I own the fucking Beatles catalog.

[David Bourn]

What is wrong with y' all?

[Bori]

I got a monkey, nigga.

[David Bourn]

Even the monkey don't throw no doodle. He know better than to throw no, doodle at me. I wish Bubbles would throw doodle at me. I kill him dead. I don't even do like that.

[Bori]

Yeah, he shits in the toilet like an adult.

[Langston Kerman]

What a wild. We were talking about SeaWorld earlier. What a wild time where we were just letting reg citizens own exotic animals and take them to award shows.

[Bori]

And it's such a dangerous practice because I grew up thinking like, I thought that as a kid. I was like, yeah, I fuck around, I can get a monkey.

[Langston Kerman]

That was my dream. I was gonna get a monkey.

[Bori]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

100. I was gonna get a spider monkey when I grew up.

[Bori]

See, and this is fucked up. In hindsight, I think I wanted a chimp. Which is the danger most dangerous.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the one that kills you.

[David Bourn]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I seen a chimp rip some dude's head. He ripped a the scalp off. You seen it? Not in real life. It was on the Internet. He was like, you know those places, well, we gonna pet the monkeys. And the monkey like grabbed his head and just ripped.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck.

[David Bourn]

And it was like white meat. And I was like, I'm not doing that no more. I used to want to go to Thailand and do that. And now I'm like, I'm unaware of monkey strength. And I seen Planet of the Apes, but I ain't seen head to the white meat in one fell swoop.

[Bori]

Yeah. And I mean. Cause Planet of the Apes is more about their mental strength, their fortitude really. But physically, that's a worthy opponent.

[Jenny Garth]

Them.

[Langston Kerman]

They'Re formidable in many ways.

[Bori]

This is great.

[David Bourn]

I'm just having such a good time. Formidable. Like, can you imagine somebody hopping into this podcast at this moment in here? You know, physically, they're formidable. Boys. Chips are. Anyway, I love that.

[Langston Kerman]

And then they get off and they're like, what is that podcast about? And they're like black conspiracy theories. I think it's black people in conspiracy theories. But sometimes they talk about strong ass.

[David Bourn]

Monkeys and Michael Jackson saying doo doo, man. It all makes sense if you heard the whole episode. You can't skip around. You gotta listen from your skipping around.

[Langston Kerman]

Enjoy the ride.

[Bori]

No, you gotta buckle in. We're not a dalliance.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Kev, I did some research on your conspiracy theory that I would love to unpack with you, please. I went to the National Weather Service website to review some of the supposed myths about lightning. And they do field a lot of weird questions, including if crouching down or lying down in the center of a field during a storm will keep you safe. And I assure you, all it does not. It in fact just makes you dumb and look silly. They said lying down especially is dangerous because if lightning strikes nearby, the electric current that. That moves through the ground is just like, has a better chance of spreading through your whole body.

[Bori]

Oh, so that's dope. I have something more to be scared of. That's good. That's what I want.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So don't lie down thinking that jumping.

[David Bourn]

Help if you jump.

[Bori]

That's a good question. That is a good question.

[David Bourn]

Cause you're weighing like, I'm jumping so I'm closer to the lightning. But if it misses me and hits the ground, I'm not part of the conducted electricity.

[Bori]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

It wasn't in their questions, but I'm happy to submit that one afterwards. I'll also submit. Can you pray the lightning away? Let's. Let's just hit all the silliest ones we can find. One of the things that they say, though, is that it is dangerous to be outside in all circumstances during a lightning storm. However, they say the closest thing to a safe alternative we have is being in your actual house. So you were already doing the right thing by being in a home with all of your electricity turned off. And they say that the only time that it actually is dangerous in your house of being struck by lightning is.

[Bori]

If you are around doing the electric slide.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, if you're doing the electric slide.

[David Bourn]

Especially the part where we go like, that happened to me hitting this.

[Bori]

That's the conduction. That's the conduction move.

[Langston Kerman]

If you strike while it's striking, that's.

[David Bourn]

Oh, man, you're done. You are calling for lightning if you're doing that.

[Bori]

That's what it started out. It was a Native American lightning D. We co opted it. A lot of people don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

You can't see it. It's electric. But they say that the. The one time that it is dangerous is that if you are around something that conducts electricity. So they ask you to avoid corded phones if you're still doing that shit. Electrical appliances, wires, TV cables, computers, plumbing, metal doors and windows. No mention of silver shredder toys on the list.

[Bori]

Here's the question that I have immediately. This is where my complaint goes.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[Bori]

You say plumbing. Now let's say I am taking one of the aforementioned doo doo's.

[Langston Kerman]

One of Michael's infamous doo doo's.

[Bori]

And I'm steepling now so you understand that I'm being very serious.

[David Bourn]

Yeah.

[Bori]

Is there a possibility of lightning striking my booty hole?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna go so Far as to say the booty hole is not the threat there. There are stories of people being in lightning strikes while taking showers. It seems like showers are more of a threat than lightning shooting up the toilet into your booty hole.

[David Bourn]

It's going past the doo doo. Like, it's gotta scoot past the doo doo to keep get, get out.

[Bori]

Well, the doo hugs the sides of the bowl.

[Langston Kerman]

If you do it right.

[Bori]

Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

The doo move out the way.

[Bori]

Yeah. I, I, I have a lot of iron in my poop. It's not everybody.

[David Bourn]

Oh, my God.

[Langston Kerman]

It does sound, though, like, if I were using a process of elimination, which I imagine your mother may have been doing at the time, that maybe if you turned out all the lights and you've turned out all the things that, in theory, conduct electricity, and you additionally had to consider other things that might be a threat to your child, something shimmery and or silver would fall into, like, a safer category than, let's say, trench coat Raphael. You know what I mean? Like Native American. Michelangelo. Whatever the other alternatives you had in your house. One of the other things that I wanted to look up, and this was pretty exciting actually, is that apparently I wanted to look up weird stories or insane stories of lightning strikes. And there are some pretty weird ones. And apparently the person who has been struck the most by lightning is a man named Roy Cleveland Sullivan who worked as a park ranger in Shenandoah. Shenandoah.

[Bori]

Shenandoah.

[Langston Kerman]

Shenandoah. Okay. Hell, yeah. National park in Virginia between 1942 and 1977. And he claims to have been struck by lightning. Hold for the drum roll. Seven times. Seven times he was struck by lightning and survived. I'm seeing some skepticism on your faces.

[Bori]

Well, I first of all want to make light of the fact that you thought it might be Shenaniga.

[David Bourn]

He mispronounced it twice. Shenanadua. Shenandoah. If you hadn't corrected him, he might. There's no telling how many different ways he could have went with that.

[Langston Kerman]

Fellas, I was gonna keep making noises till I, till I made it feel right.

[Bori]

Sounded like a rookie outside linebacker shot. And duras.

[Langston Kerman]

Just a nice Samoan man who moved to the States to play football.

[Bori]

Oh, man. But, but seven times. That's document who was there.

[Langston Kerman]

So that's the thing. It's rare, I think, that lightning strikes and there's just somebody there being like, whoa, you got struck by lightning?

[David Bourn]

And they're just like, that's secret. This is crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Roy, you are on a roll, my man.

[David Bourn]

I gotta flip to the next page, Roy. This is wild, man.

[Langston Kerman]

He did have a number of sort of, like, artifacts to sort of demonstrate or, like, things that he had to show for it twice. I think he got struck on the top of his head and it, like, singed the middle of his. His ranger hat and basically burned a hole in the middle and at one point lit his hair on fire. So all of that stuff is documented. And I don't know that he did that independently, you know what I mean? I don't think that he was just, like, fucking around and lighting his hair on fire on his own. You know what I mean?

[Bori]

So this leads to my next question. How much silver did my man have on him?

[David Bourn]

Oh, he was drippy with shredder toys. We need to find out if he was an avid shredder collector.

[Bori]

Yeah.

[David Bourn]

And he's just like, under no circumstances am I ever leaving the house without these. I don't care how many times I get. I would rather die than not have shredders in my house.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't give a fuck what my mom says.

[Bori]

Yeah. He's like, I got struck six times. It's not gonna happen again.

[Langston Kerman]

It's only making super shredders. It's only making super shredders.

[Bori]

How old was he? How is he dead now?

[Langston Kerman]

He has to be dead. He was born in, like, 1913 or some shit like that.

[Bori]

And was he. Did he die of lightning complications?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think so. I think he, like, lived a pretty regular life, it seems. This is what makes it even crazier, is that it doesn't even feel like he got messed up that bad from his lightning strikes.

[Bori]

That can't be true.

[Langston Kerman]

His legs. I didn't look all that up.

[Bori]

If you get hit by lightning, you're not. Does not work.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that.

[Bori]

That's the first thing I thought. If that goes, there's no way you're gonna make a regular. His kid better be fast as fuck.

[David Bourn]

He made Raiden. His baby's Raiden lighting seven times. You are making electronic children.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And when you come, it says, finish him, and then Raiden comes out. Yeah, that's not my best joke, but I got some. I got some.

[Bori]

It was good.

[David Bourn]

It was good. It was solid.

[Langston Kerman]

I also read about one of the oldest and worst lightning strikes ever recorded. Happened in a town called Brescia, Italy. Does anybody have a correction for Brescia? Breccia. I don't know how to pronounce it.

[Bori]

I think it actually might be Titty's Ville.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Tittiesville, Italy, in 1769, a church was being used as a battery to store approximately 100 tons of gunpowder. The church took a direct hit of lightning, and all the gunpowder eventually caught fire and exploded. After all the dust settled, nearly a sixth of the city was destroyed and killed nearly 3,000 people.

[David Bourn]

Oh, my God.

[Bori]

Wow. I started laughing too early.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, sorry, fellas, sorry. This can't all be fun and games. 3000 dead Italians from the 1700s.

[Bori]

Sounds like a shredder job to me. No, I wish you would give it to me.

[David Bourn]

I laughed too. I'm sorry. I laughed too early. You could not have anticipated that's how that story ended, man.

[Bori]

No, We've been having such a good time.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, I'll tell you one more example, and this one actually is pretty fun. This one doesn't get sad, but I found a part of the National Weather Service website that is self submitted lists of recent survivors of lightning strikes. People can type in right in there and be like, I survived and this is what happened, blah, blah, blah. And most of the injuries that they report are like. It ranges. It's the full gamut. Chronic pain, memory loss, comas, depression, ears ringing, loss of muscle function, all of that shit. But there was one person on this list, a woman named Missy, who claimed to have gotten extrasensory perception, ESP from her encounter with lightning.

[Bori]

So, okay, and some of our listeners. I know, but some of our listeners maybe don't fully understand ESP as an actual. Like that guy Kreskin invented it, right? I don't know much about. Well, it's me. It's me. I don't know what it is. I don't know what the fuck it is.

[Langston Kerman]

No, listen, I'm glad you're asking that. And in fact, I tracked down the email that she sent and I can read it to you all now. The subject line is, high price for pizza, question mark. Supernatural side effect, question mark. And she says, I was struck by lightning about 12 years ago. No one ever told me that you weren't supposed to be on a landline telephone during an electrical storm. So there I was. Say it again.

[David Bourn]

She didn't have a black mom.

[Langston Kerman]

No black mama. How did you get here, bitch?

[Bori]

I called the bus.

[Langston Kerman]

Nobody supposed to be here.

[David Bourn]

Well, bitch, I came to fuck.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm.

[Bori]

That one didn't even make that much sense.

[David Bourn]

I was like.

[Bori]

It just felt right.

[David Bourn]

Boy. What? You know what? I don't mind it.

[Bori]

Yeah, sometimes it's jazz, sometimes it's magic. It's not science. You know.

[Langston Kerman]

She says so there I was calling in a carry out pizza order when I noticed that the lightning and thunder was getting more intense and coming more frequently. I heard static on the phone line which kept getting louder and louder. Then I heard what sounded like a loud explosion. And at the same time I noticed a bright white light at my feet which was football shaped and had spikes. It blew me across the floor and I was knocked out for a few seconds. My son came running into the kitchen to find me laying there on the floor. When I started to get a numbing feeling on one side of my body, starting at the toes and working upward, he called911.1 after spending several hours in the emergency room, they confirmed that I had been hit by lightning. Through the phone lines after the strike, I noticed a strange side effect. It's almost as if I get got esp extra. Extra sensory perception every once in a while. There have been times where I speak to some speak someone's name, someone that I haven't been heard from or seen in many years. And all of a sudden they walk in the door. Door or time. I knew my plumbing was going to back up in the laundry. And sure enough, that night it happened. I've had eerie feelings about this just before they've actually happened. I've actually created a list somewhere in my house of these incidents because I couldn't believe it myself. Most people that know me are amazed, and so am I. This periodic thing only only started after my lightning incident.

[David Bourn]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

How bought in are we all this?

[David Bourn]

Not at all.

[Bori]

No, no, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't believe.

[David Bourn]

Maybe I'm just a cynic in my old age. About three sentences in, I was like, girl.

[Bori]

And that was like, oh, you knew the laundry was gonna back up. Cause the shit's been rattling for six months. Fucking call your landlord. What are you talking about?

[Langston Kerman]

They're not great examples. She's not nailing it with the examples.

[David Bourn]

Oh, not at all. I'm out. Yeah, I don't know if that was Shark Tank. I'd be like, I'm out. Don't worry. For this reason, I don't believe you. For this reason I'm out.

[Bori]

I'd be like, I actually have a lot of friends in the laundry space.

[Langston Kerman]

It is a wild choice to be like, no, I did get superpowers. And what is my power? I can tell with my laundry is gonna stop working the way it's supposed to.

[Bori]

Yeah, that's just don't buy it.

[Langston Kerman]

You wasted your powers Baby girl wasted it.

[Bori]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Bori]

Yeah. And did they get that pizza for free?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think so. I don't think the pizza got delivered. It sounds like she had a rough night without pizza. And also shitty superpowers.

[David Bourn]

Damn. Yeah. You know, you win something, you lose something.

[Bori]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

I think. I think if we can all agree, it seems as if we are all sort of certain that Shredder Toys are in no way a threat in a lightning storm.

[David Bourn]

1,000%.

[Langston Kerman]

And unfortunately, superpowers are not easily achieved, even for those who are struck by lightning. It requires a more miraculous interaction with chemicals in a body to truly turn you supernatural. Yeah.

[David Bourn]

Absolutely.

[Bori]

Yeah. I think that's fair.

[David Bourn]

100%.

[Bori]

I think that's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Bori]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, Kev, I think we did it. I think this is. I think this is a whole shebang.

[David Bourn]

This is perfect, man. I still got time to go to my son's soccer game. This is great timing. I appreciate it.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell, yeah.

[Bori]

Thanks for doing it.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

[David Bourn]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Hell, yeah. I love that.

[David Bourn]

You know, if they're curious enough, I should be easy enough to find. Yeah. And that's not said. It's just like, ah, you know.

[Langston Kerman]

No. You go viral often enough that I think they'll bump into you. That's fair to say.

[David Bourn]

Come see about me, Kev on stage. Just search that. Wherever you're looking, you'll probably find me.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, not us. We still plug Bory, what you got?

[Bori]

I'm gonna be at the Comedy Bar in Seattle, Washington, and on the 27th and 28th, and I desperately need you to buy tickets. Go on my Instagram Cool guy jokes 87. And all my links are there. I got some other dates coming up, but that's what I got right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman. I don't have dates just yet to tell you about, but they're coming. And if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, if you want to send us your own drops, if you want to tell us how you achieved your superpower, send it all to mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. Go to mymamatoldme merchcentral to buy some of the merch that we have cooking. They are moving them shirts and hats. They're moving fast. We want y' all to have them. So go there and, like, subscribe. Do whatever bullshit you're supposed to do to keep the podcast afloat we love it, we need it. We love you. That's the whole thing. Bye, bitch.

[David Bourn]

Look, if you hate cops just because they're cops, the next time you get in trouble, yeah, call a crackhead.

[Langston Kerman]

The government growing babies microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist.

[Bori]

The ozone layer owes me money.

[Langston Kerman]

Martians invented turkey stuffing.

[Bori]

Y' all can't tell me nothing.

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You, Tina, Lisa, Sheila, whatever. Get that report to me by lunch, okay? It's Carrie, ma' am.

[Langston Kerman]

Just get it done, Terry.

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[Langston Kerman]

This is an iheart podcast.