Flat Back Music: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Summary

My Momma Told Me - "Flat Back Music: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode" Summary

Release Date: March 20, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Borey
Produced By: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

In the "Flat Back Music: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode" of My Momma Told Me, hosts Langston Kerman and David Borey delve into a mix of cultural critiques, personal anecdotes, and discussions on music preferences, all intertwined with their signature humor and candidness. This mini-episode offers listeners a glimpse into the hosts' perspectives on societal issues, personal experiences, and the complexities of music appreciation within the Black community.

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1. Episode Kickoff and Podcast Mission [02:00 - 03:39]

Langston Kerman sets the tone by introducing the mini-episode with a blend of humor and sass:

"Mini episode mini episode motherfckin mini episode 1442 45s. 3 little clothing clips 4 niggas roll 1 nigga drives 500 bends 6 reasons why this Kid should die we shooting every motherfucker outside."*
— Langston Kerman [02:00]

The hosts emphasize the podcast's aim to explore Black conspiracy theories, whether they are whimsical, unsettling, or deeply ingrained within community lore:

"Me the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories."
— David Borey [02:29]

They underscore their commitment to addressing these theories as representations of their "community at large," highlighting the broad and inclusive nature of their discussions.

---

2. Dermatology and Racial Disparities in Healthcare [05:08 - 06:35]

A significant portion of the episode addresses the challenges dark-skinned individuals face in dermatology:

"I'm just talking crazy with my man. I get a little high, I talk a little crazy and then I go, love with my family."
— David Borey [04:09]

The conversation shifts to the lack of dermatologists who adequately study and treat darker skin tones:

"I think there's a that feels good, right? I don't know how large that community is, but it certainly is at large."
— David Borey [02:42]

Langston adds:

"There's not a lot of data points. They don't study us."
— Langston Kerman [05:35]

They discuss how this gap leads to inadequate identification and treatment of skin conditions prevalent in darker skin, culminating in a shared sentiment of frustration and the need for better representation in medical research.

---

3. Musical Tastes and Cultural Identity [07:00 - 22:18]

The hosts engage in an extensive dialogue about their diverse musical preferences, reflecting on how music intersects with cultural identity:

"I had a really interesting conversation yesterday about John Mayer and how I really fuck with John Mayer. I think that, like, Continuum is a perfect album."
— David Borey [12:31]

Langston shares his eclectic tastes, often finding solace and connection in unexpected genres while navigating the complexities of musical appreciation across different cultural backgrounds:

"I listen to it in the airport. See what he's got going on."
— Langston Kerman [08:56]

They critique certain artists, such as Frank Sinatra and Eminem, discussing the dissonance between their public personas and personal revelations:

"Frank Sinatra was an alcoholic. He was like a grump. And constantly threatening to fight people."
— David Borey [10:20]

The conversation also touches on generational shifts in music appreciation and the challenges of reconciling personal tastes with broader societal expectations.

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4. Listener Voicemails and Controversial Claims [32:54 - 44:24]

A pivotal moment in the episode is the airing of a listener voicemail that makes a provocative claim about "unattractive white women":

"My mama told me and my grandma, actually that unattractive white women are the most dangerous people on the planet."
— Listener Voicemail [32:54]

Langston introduces the voicemail with enthusiasm:

"That's what I was gonna say. But, like, yeah, you guys are going crazy."
— David Borey [32:54]

The hosts dissect the voicemail, addressing the underlying societal dynamics and racial tensions that may inform such sentiments:

"White women are by far the most dangerous people on the planet. And you're right and maybe tighten that message up next time."
— David Borey [44:04]

Langston narrates a personal story that echoes the voicemail's themes, recounting an encounter in LA where a white woman publicly shamed a black man:

"I was out in LA at a bar one time with this girl, and we got really drunk, and behind us there was a white lady... she was yelling at this nigga."
— Langston Kerman [39:27]

This segment delves into the intersections of race, gender, and societal power structures, highlighting the emotional and physical impacts of such confrontations.

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5. Cultural Critique and Social Commentary [30:48 - 43:05]

The discussion broadens to critique broader societal issues, including the role of white men in perpetuating certain power dynamics:

"Elon is a great example of it. Of, like, a dude who we, for a long time had on some version of what we consider the right side."
— David Borey [30:00]

They analyze how historical and contemporary figures embody the systemic challenges faced by the Black community, touching upon themes of privilege, power, and resistance.

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6. Closing Remarks and Audience Engagement [43:07 - 44:40]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on the voicemail's impact and encourage listeners to engage further:

"Dear listener, I hope that this at least confirms your suspicions. I hope you feel satisfied to hear it. Both your mother and grandmother let them know we agree."
— David Borey [37:12]

Langston shares his plans and promotions:

"Come see me at the Dallas Comedy Club."
— Langston Kerman [32:37]

David promotes his upcoming appearances and the podcast's ongoing projects:

"Watch Everybody's Live with John Mulaney on Netflix... send it all to mymamapodmail.com."
— David Borey [44:40]

They conclude with a provocative affirmation of the voicemail's message, emphasizing their stance on the discussed issues:

"White women are the most dangerous people on the planet. And you're right and maybe tighten that message up next time."
— David Borey [44:09]

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Conclusion

In this mini-episode, Langston Kerman and David Borey offer a raw and unfiltered exploration of racial dynamics, personal experiences, and cultural critiques within the framework of Black conspiracy theories. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, they illuminate the nuanced challenges faced by the Black community while navigating societal structures and cultural expectations. The episode balances humor with serious discourse, inviting listeners to reflect on the intricate interplay between race, identity, and societal norms.

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Notable Quotes with Attributions:

• "Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
  — David Borey [02:34]

• "I never felt like the doctor was for me."
  — Langston Kerman [05:52]

• "This is the freakiest I get."
  — Langston Kerman [06:04]

• "White women are by far the most dangerous people on the planet."
  — David Borey [44:09]

• "I was just like, bro, you ain't got to take that."
  — Langston Kerman [39:22]

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' perspectives on personal experiences with systemic issues and societal expectations, providing a window into the episode's central themes.

Transcript

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[David Borey]

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[David Borey]

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[Langston Kerman]

It's human.

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[David Borey]

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[Langston Kerman]

Mini episode mini episode motherfucking mini episode 1442 45s. 3 little clothing clips 4 niggas roll 1 nigga drives 500 bends 6 reasons why this Kid should die we shooting every motherfucker outside. Welcome lil mamas and gentiles alike to another Phenomen episode of My Mama Told.

[David Borey]

Me the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

[Langston Kerman]

Theories and we finally work to prove the conspiracies of what we have decided is a community at large.

[David Borey]

A community at large is a good way to articulate that. I think. I think there's a that feels good, right? I don't know how large that community is, but it certainly is at large. No matter how Big or small, our community.

[Langston Kerman]

I said the. That's a little too, that's, that's, that's a little too extensive. This little weirdo bubble we've created.

[David Borey]

I. This is, this is going to sound strange, but the other night I went to visit the bay. My wife has a friend in the bay. And we went to visit their family and, and they had a game night at their house and a person came over and they were like, I love your podcast. And that was really nice. Like, I think more fans exist in the world than we realized. And it's really sweet when I get to bump into y'all.

[Langston Kerman]

Truly. I just went out on the road a little bit last week in a couple cities and yeah, they're little mamas. Little. I'm not calling you little freakies. Little mamas are out there.

[David Borey]

Yeah, unfortunately, I think we're the little freakies. I don't actually think they're asking to be called that.

[Langston Kerman]

I feel like if you guys were with me day to day, you would.

[David Borey]

Not think that nothing about my lifestyle even suggested.

[Langston Kerman]

This is the freakiest I get.

[David Borey]

I'm just talking to my boy. Yeah, I'm just talking crazy with my man. I get a little high, I talk a little crazy and then I go, love with my family.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm saying in the house, it's just like, I think we should have, you know, some chicken breast for tonight. I know. It's just, we gotta get rid of it. We got so much at Costco. And then here, I'm like, I wanna fuck with two dicks. And it's like, there he is. This is the best of me. Y'all are getting the best of me.

[David Borey]

I sit around with my wife all day today. I told her that we need to have a. Make a more concerted effort to talk to the baby like a person. And then I come on here and.

[Langston Kerman]

I.

[David Borey]

I go, hey, y'all know I worship the devil, right? Y'all know I serve at the, at the throne of Satan. I don't mean nothing. I'm just, I'm just saying stuff, man.

[Langston Kerman]

The other day I was like, ah, I never been to the dermatologist. Do you think that's something I should do before 40?

[David Borey]

You know, and this is, this is a weird thing to segue into, but maybe we talked about it on the podcast, but it's the unfortunate, unfortunate reality that for dark skinned people like you, the dermatologist is not often. There aren't a lot of dermatologists that really can do what they're supposed to do with you.

[Langston Kerman]

There's not a lot of data points. They don't study us.

[David Borey]

Nah, they don't study you. And in fact, even the, the things that they do to be like, protective, preventative of all the threats that could be affecting you, they, they don't even know how to identify this. They can't spot skin cancer on you.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm telling you, I've never felt like the doctor was for me.

[David Borey]

That sucks, man. Genuinely, that, that, like, really stinks.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you feel like the doctor is for you?

[David Borey]

I don't think he's for me, but I don't think there's anything, there are no, like, direct, direct walls between how they think of me as, as physicians. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not right. They're not sitting back and being like, I will treat him differently. And I think so much of that is probably rooted in, in my, in being light skinned. They're able to, like, see a humanity in us that they just don't do with y'all.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I guess so, man. I mean, I don't know. I'm all right. Keep going to the wife, I hear. Ride my bicycle, baby.

[David Borey]

What, What a way to brush off hundreds of years of prejudice is to just be. I, you know, whatever.

[Langston Kerman]

I got stew in it. I got shit to do.

[David Borey]

Cry. Cry for the podcast. This could be big for us.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, my God. I don't, I, man, if we become, if we become a podcast where we actually legitimately cry on here, we have jumped the shark. That's season 10.

[David Borey]

It's gonna be bad. This is gonna be really bad. If we're, if we're like, really expressing ourselves.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Somebody comes on and says something, we're like, hold on, brother. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Kamala Harris is a, is a saint now. Some things are funny and some things ain't, brother.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

This is a serious podcast. We're fac. Serious issues in this country.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, we are, we're just not, not here. This is a good place to. Nah, like you said, I was just trying to have some fun with my friend.

[David Borey]

We, speaking of fun, have many a voicemail we got.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you guys are going crazy.

[David Borey]

We got a lot of voicemails from a lot of you. I, I, we should preface that a fair amount of them. I would say more than half of them have been Blink182 related. Now Bori and I are going out of our way to not try to, like, blow the emails before we get on the podcast. And so I don't know what you guys are screaming at us about as it relates to Blink182, but I can tell just off the sheer volume of Blink 182 voicemails, you are very upset with us for the things we said.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. We clearly got it wrong. And I don't know what to tell you. I never claimed to get it right.

[David Borey]

Shoot or shoot.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

They don't always make it. I really like that song, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on. Come on. I've listened to it so many times.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I listen to it in the airport.

[David Borey]

Wait, you listen to it as like a. Like an airport song where you're like, I enjoy this song specifically in the airport.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I don't know how to explain it, but my airport music tastes are the most diverse my music ever gets.

[David Borey]

Do you think that's because you're surrounded by the most diverse groups of people you're gonna see on average?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think that it tends to be a.

[David Borey]

More.

[Langston Kerman]

Surreal isn't the word. But, yeah. I think it's just such an odd mix of people anyways that it makes me feel the comfort of going outside of, like, my go to shit.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, yeah, I'll be in the airport. Like, fuck it. Listen to Sinatra. See what he's got going on. Just sit down, watch the people angry that they have children.

[David Borey]

I love me some Frank Sinatra.

[Langston Kerman]

Really?

[David Borey]

I love Frank Sinatra. I can't tell you as much as we've talked about, like, the disappointment of finding out Michael Jordan was a bad guy. I had an equal level of disappointment finding out Frank Sinatra was a bad guy.

[Langston Kerman]

R. Damn.

[David Borey]

Yeah. That hit me hard.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know till today.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I was like, man, he's so fucking cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Was he just mobbed up?

[David Borey]

Yeah, he was mobbed up. He was an alcoholic. He was like a grump. And constantly threatening to fight people and. Or fighting people. He was. You know what I mean? I think he was just. He just lived the life that we. We kind of thought he lived, but, like, sincerely. And I think a part of me thought that he was, like, just having fun being a rascal with his. His boys. And instead it was like, you say something mean about him and he gets your knees broken.

[Langston Kerman]

Man, I would hate to have crossed a crooner and then get beat up that way, you know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Because that's not even. He didn't even grow up like that. He didn't even have to be all that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no. That would Hurt.

[David Borey]

That would hurt like you are just singing about the summer wind and getting my knees broken. That's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

That sucks. I like that song. When he says, whatever. It was a very good year. That's the one I like.

[David Borey]

That's a good one.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a good one. Yeah, we should have him on the pod.

[David Borey]

It's sad. Yeah, we should get Frank on the pod. If not, I don't know. Michael Buble. We'll get Michael Buble on.

[Langston Kerman]

That's not the same thing.

[David Borey]

To Nadra. No, no, no, no. Absolutely.

[Langston Kerman]

Starbucks music.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Michael Buble, who has some jams. I ain't even gonna hold you. He's got a few cuts.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't even know the. Here's. My problem is, like, I recently realized, I. Man, I'm gonna be honest. I don't know if my taste in music is great.

[David Borey]

Mm.

[Langston Kerman]

It's fun. Same, like, I don't know, man. A lot of the stuff I love is just real, like, especially outside of specifically rap music, I kind of just like pop music. Sometimes people be, like, talking about really good music, and I'll be like, I don't know. I like a couple songs, but it's not as good as, like, that shit we all know the words to.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I had a really interesting conversation yesterday about John Mayer and how I really fuck with John Mayer. I think that, like, Continuum is a perfect album. And, like, I get it, that. That, like, he became kind of a joke to a lot of people. But, like, to me, John Mayer is dope. And I was in a room with a lot of white people who. Who are constantly going off about these obscure bands I've never heard of and haven't heard.

[Langston Kerman]

The Rolodex is. I feel like they know more bands than we know rappers and R and B singers.

[David Borey]

I think so. But then I wonder if that's. You know what I mean? Because if I go like, oh, Neo in the room, none of them know.

[Langston Kerman]

But that's not even a deep one. Oh, I see what you're saying.

[David Borey]

I'm saying that I don't have to go that deep for them to hit a wall of not knowing shit. So I think they similarly have just a wall. That said, there's way more of them than there are of us. And they just be having, you know, the shins, the neck bones, the elbows. It's just a band after white band that I've never heard of. And they're always talking about how great the music is. And I go, I love John Mayer and all of Them kind of, like, fold their arms as if, like, it's stinky music. I was like, oh, I think maybe just black people like the stuff that y'all don't like. Like, I think. I think all the stuff y'all make fun of black people are like, nah, that's when y'all are. That's when y'all are cooking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, maybe that might. That might truly be it. I had a friend one time who said that. I remember we were talking, and he said he thought he had an epiphany. He was like, I think they just like it really boring. They just like, boring stuff. You know what I'm saying?

[David Borey]

I can see that.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I'm saying? Like, they be like, yeah. Or like. Like. And there's some stuff where it's like, I don't know, man. Like, the guitar doesn't do it for me. And I think that's where I get lost in some shit sometimes.

[David Borey]

There's there.

[Langston Kerman]

Or like, the guitar I like is like, you know what song I like? Bon Jovi. Living on a Prayer. I think that song goes crazy. I think that song goes crazy.

[David Borey]

That's a great song. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And then they. Then you. They talk like, maybe it's because it's their parents music. I don't know what it is. But, like, yeah, I've always had a disconnect. But, like, like, you said, the Shins or the Decemberists or some shit. I hear that shit. I'm like, I don't know, man. It's a. It's a guy in a big hat.

[David Borey]

I think they laugh at Living on a Prayer because that's like being like, you know, a song I like Hypnotized by Biggie Smalls. And you're like, ugh, nigga.

[Langston Kerman]

That is the reaction you get.

[David Borey]

That's your favorite. All right, man. I don't think we got that much more to talk about.

[Langston Kerman]

Or. I like the one song from Guitar Hero. I only know it from Guitar Hero. I only have 18 in life to go that. I think that's the peak of white culture.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like what?

[David Borey]

Ricky was a young boy. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of shit that. It's not that they don't like it. It's just that they're like, well, that's embarrassing for you to say out loud. It's shameful that that is where you would start the conversation.

[Langston Kerman]

But then. Because. But it's also like. But whenever they try to. Like, you ever try to talk to a white dude about rap? Music I have. They don't do the same thing. They're always trying to be like, what do you think about Jurassic 5? And you're like, yeah, honestly, I've avoided it because of this conversation.

[David Borey]

Yeah, they. They. And, you know, some of it, I think comes from, like, this fucked up elitism. But I think they took a. For an era of. Of white men. I don't think they exist the same way anymore. But there was an era of white men that took a lot of pride in knowing, like, our. Our crunchy fucking, like, backpack rappers instead of, like, knowing the niggas. Like, they didn't know.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I was gonna say. But, like, the backpack rappers isn't. Was crunchy to me.

[David Borey]

That's. Wait, it isn't crunchy.

[Langston Kerman]

It. It's just not. Like, if you're gonna surprise me, you're not gonna surprise me by saying you, like. Like, I don't even know, A$AP rock or some weird shit. You're surprised me. If you're like, you know who I like? Slim Cut Calhoun. Then I'm gonna be like, whoa. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah, but they don't like that. That's my point. I think they're not doing it because they're, like, digging through the crates as much as they're being like, I like the one that raps about positive things or uplifts through, like, a type of articulation of miracles. Yeah, exactly. As opposed to, like a motherfucker that's just rapping about bitches and cars and stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

They do love the clips, though.

[David Borey]

They love the clips, but even them, they got elevated a little bit past just like. They weren't just, you know what I mean? Coke rappers. Even though that's literally all they were. They were like, smart coke rappers.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. It's always interesting what is smart to them with rappers, you know what I mean? Like, it's like a. Interesting. Cause I guess the clips are smart, but also the clips. I like it when they're talking shit too. I like it when he says like that. Bron, Bron. I had that a long time ago. Like.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think it takes a lot of time with the community to recognize intelligence in ways that you don't immediately associate for yourself. Do you know what I mean? That, like, young thug is a genius, but you have to be able to see a humanity in all forms of black people to see him as a genius, because otherwise it's just a nigga whining or over, like, trap beats. And you're like, I don't. Okay. This is just noise.

[Langston Kerman]

And maybe that's why we don't like their obscure stuff too, because it's just like. I don't know, it all just sounds. I don't know. It sounds like breakup music. All of it to me, bro.

[David Borey]

I be trying. They'll like say bands and stuff in the room, and I'll like go and spend a little bit of time listening to this shit. And truly, I can't. I can't always crack the code. There's sometimes where I can. But, like, it is tough to make it through some of these motherfuckers.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah. I also have a hard time with not finding a discernible beat to move my body to.

[David Borey]

That's it. It makes it really hard. If I can't do this to your shit, I don't really.

[Langston Kerman]

Any semblance of that. Like, I don't even. Like, sometimes you listen to rock music and I can't even. Yeah, I can't even catch where to. Like, I can't even catch. I can't catch how to listen to it.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know you feel a beat and you're like, oh. Oh, shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[David Borey]

Give me something to hold on to.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't got that shit. Got no ass.

[David Borey]

It's cold. I'm trying to spoon and you ain't giving me nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

Giving me flat back.

[David Borey]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

That shit go from fucking deltoids to fucking heels.

[David Borey]

White people listen to flatback music, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's really what it is.

[David Borey]

And I think to their credit, they have learned an appreciation for flatbacks that I do not always recognize. I've seen so many of my white friends go off with flatback women and truly feel the same arousal, same excitement for their flatback lover that I feel for my not flatback lover. And I know that's because you. And I don't know why. It's not what I would want for myself. But I genuinely believe in your love and I think that's okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It truly is just different strokes. I think is all it is. It's just like it's different strokes. I also think they don't talk like people talking reckless as much.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Does that make sense? Like, that's why even not just Blink 182. But like, I've always like. If I listen to like a punk song, I kind of like it. Cause they'll like the misfit. They say like crazy shit.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

What's that song? I got something to say. I killed a baby. Today. And you're like, what the fuck is this? Like, that's crazy. Yeah, Like, I feel something from that.

[David Borey]

I think they like when you talk reckless, and it's clearly just imaginative. I don't think they like when you talk reckless and they believe you.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, like Eminem?

[David Borey]

Yeah, like, Eminem, I think, didn't scare them as much as he was meant to scare them, in part because he. Well, I think he started to blur the line in a way that. That did scare them, but I think they liked the Slim Shady era and it's the reason it became what it became because it felt like just, oh, I'm just crazy. I'll eat bull boogers and push down your dog. And it's like, oh, that's okay. Yeah, it's just doing the thing. I'll kill a baby today. But in rap form, Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Cause that's what it always was. What I was listening to is like. Yeah, I don't know. Cause he. He doesn't. It doesn't. That music doesn't have a high replay value for me.

[David Borey]

There's like, a sweet spot Marshall Mathers lp where, like, the nostalgia outweighs whatever, like, logic. I go into the songs with, like, I can still. I can play it. But no, it's not one of those where, like, the way I am meant so much to me when I was fucking 10 years old.

[Langston Kerman]

Really.

[David Borey]

If that comes on now, I'm not like, whoa, my fucking song. I just. Yeah, I love that song.

[Langston Kerman]

I love that one. Oh, man. What? I love. What was it? I wanted an album so rugged, nobody could touch it. Fucking still don't give a fuck. That was my Eminem song.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That was my. But he was talking crazy.

[David Borey]

He was talking real crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

But I don't really listen to it anyway. I just. It doesn't like. Because he never. He never had beats either.

[David Borey]

I felt like he killed it on Renegade.

[Langston Kerman]

He really did. He really did. But. Okay, this is crazy, too. I go back and I listen to Renegade, and I feel like I like. And this sounds crazy. People don't like it. I. As an adult, I like what Jay said better. I just don't feel like he's saying anything. I feel like he's just. Or I feel like he's just saying anything. Like, I get it to put it in there. Take a bath with the Catholics and only. But he doesn't, like, mean. It doesn't mean anything. Like, there's no. It's, like, just words together when, like. And Jay's, like. Often my Pops left me off, and my mom's wasn't home. I'm like, okay, I can relate to that.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Jay was being a human being, an anti Semitic human being, but a human being all the same.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, hey, come on. Hey, Papi. Wait, was he anti Semitic? That's wrong. Yeah.

[David Borey]

He says, I only talk about Jews. Do you listen to music or do you just skim through it? I think he was taking shots at Leor at the time, probably, or some. Some large Jewish executive being like, you guys are. Are trying to monetize our thing without actually, like, appreciating it. I think there's an argument that, like, when he's saying Jews, he is not saying it in a way that's, like, meant to represent the entire mass of people and more just saying, like, I'm talking about the motherfuckers that are fucking with my money and my situation. But certainly if somebody was like, blacks, it wouldn't feel great.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Ultimately, I think at the end of the day, this conversation was complicated. I just want to say whoever does, in fact, run the media, I'm with you. Give me a call.

[David Borey]

That was so beautifully said. I think we should take a break. I think you specifically need a break. I think you go ahead. You take a rest, big man. You lay out. You lay out for a little bit. And we're gonna. When we come back, we're gonna get a voicemail. We have a voicemail we want to listen to, so we're gonna take a break. More David.

[Langston Kerman]

More.

[David Borey]

Langston.

[Langston Kerman]

More.

[David Borey]

My mama told me.

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[California Psychics]

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[David Borey]

You raggedy but.

[Langston Kerman]

We don't mean that about any oppressed people. Only white men.

[David Borey]

That's right. Only white men are raggedy bitches. The rest of us are fine bitches. Proud bitches.

[Langston Kerman]

Fine proud. A long storied tradition of bitches. White men. We're gonna get on your ass until you. I go. I don't know. Eventually break, and then it's all gonna be a problem.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I.

[Langston Kerman]

That's.

[David Borey]

The other thing is, like.

[Langston Kerman]

And.

[David Borey]

And I think. I think truly Elon is a great example of it. Of, like, a dude who we, for a long time had on some version of what we consider the right side. I don't know what the fuck that means. Least viewed himself in that way. And then we kind of bullied him a bunch, and he snapped, and he deserved to be bullied. He's an awful person, and I wish he didn't exist, but the reality is he does, and he has all the money. And so the second he snapped, he started making other choices that are now affecting us in a much more dire, negative way than we ever could have imagined. And what do you want? Like, you're going to just break these white men and they'll go away. They're going to fucking. They have all of it.

[Langston Kerman]

There's so many of them.

[David Borey]

Yeah. We gotta. We gotta learn to talk different to each other, y'all.

[Langston Kerman]

Apparently, they're lonely. Now. Do you feel like that affects black people? The male loneliness epidemic? I think that I am not as in tune with Internet culture, nor youth culture to make an informed opinion on it, but my guess is that it probably also does.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I don't always believe them when they say stuff like, by that, I mean young people sort of like talking about their own challenges. That said, I don't believe them emotionally, but I take their word for it. I guess that's the best way of.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[David Borey]

Like, I don't know how to believe them. And that's probably my own dinosaur brain. Right. It's not me being a hero and being like, I'm correct. You're wrong. It's just I was raised a certain way that I can't fully undo. And so when you tell me that, like, you're experiencing traumas, that, to me, do not sound like traumas. I go, no, you're not. In the back of my head. But I acknowledge that. Like, no, you feel what you're feeling, and that makes it true for you.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, Right, Right. Right. And every generation is more aware of all that stuff than the last generation. Right.

[David Borey]

Yeah. None of us are.

[Langston Kerman]

Until we just all get so soft. We meld into a pile of goo together and go back to the stars from once we came.

[David Borey]

Yeah. None of us are not going to be our dads. Do you know What? I mean, like, we're all going to turn into old men who are wrong and. And backwards. And that's why less people should be doing standup comedy after a certain age.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, exactly. That being said, 37. I'm hot right now. Come see me at the Dallas Comedy Club.

[David Borey]

Should we play this? Voicemail. We have a voicemail.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it.

[David Borey]

It's very exciting. Whenever you're ready.

[N/A]

Hi. David and Langston. Love the podcast. My mama told me and my grandma, actually that unattractive white women are the most dangerous people on the planet.

[Langston Kerman]

Pause.

[David Borey]

Okay, let's pause right there.

[Langston Kerman]

Sold.

[David Borey]

I have nothing in this that I disagree with so far. There's not one part of this truly at the core of me, I was like, I don't even know if we can call this conspiracy theory. Just dangerous. Dangerous people.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Terrifying.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we're on the same page, but continue. Let's. Let's hear what else.

[N/A]

If y'all. I'd love to hear your opinions on that. Also. You just. You had xenoduct. Oh, she's amazing. Amazing. She's so funny. I love her. You're talking about sunblock versus sunscreen. What about us photosensitive people? I'm a black person who looks like a beach he bore every summer. It sucks. And I missed you in Philly. So bummed out. I had tickets, but I was so sick. I couldn't. Couldn't make it. Didn't want to make your show a super spreader event. We stayed home.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[N/A]

But yeah. Oh, and one more thing. I think if you mix Will Smith and Sally Berry, you get Shaun T. Like the fitness guy. I see it. No one else seems to see it, but I see it. But anyway, your specials look great, and I look forward to more and keep on keeping on covered about it.

[Langston Kerman]

That was very special.

[David Borey]

Voicemail started pretty good. I would say. She came in hot. She came with a conspiracy. It felt good. And I liked all the other compliments, but certainly it felt like maybe that voicemail didn't have to be quite as long as she made it, that maybe it could have just stopped at the unattractive white women are the most dangerous people on the planet.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But I appreciate it. Thank you for not coming and spreading it. I looked up Shaun T. That's very. I do see it.

[David Borey]

Sean T. I don't even know Shaun T. Or maybe I do when I see.

[Langston Kerman]

I just looked him up. S H A U N. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Oh, I could see there's some Photos where I could see a little bit of Will Smith, certainly.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

He's 46 years old, so if you're suspecting at all that maybe he might be the byproduct of those two, he's not.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. Philly, Philly. Philly guys start early. I feel like that's the place where you fuck young.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You think Will Smith fucked Young?

[Langston Kerman]

100%. He was always that guy. Yeah, I think, yeah. You don't think he did?

[David Borey]

I'm of two minds, to be honest with you. Him having, if I'm remembering correctly, pretty religious parents and like not cussing for a long time sort of leads me to believe that maybe he was a little more like straight laced than we thought he was.

[Langston Kerman]

Doesn't he have a goon, though?

[David Borey]

Yeah, there are stories of like, him. Cause when he was arrested that time, it was because, like, somebody tried to flex on him and then his, like, guy just mopped him.

[Langston Kerman]

He was also a teen rap sensation in the 80s. Like, I don't know, man. I think he fucked young. I think he definitely fucked you.

[David Borey]

It's probably. It's a safer bet than what I'm pitching.

[Langston Kerman]

And I remember this is. I don't know why I remember this, but there was a joke on, on Fresh Prince of Bel Air where somebody says something to Will and he thinks. He says, you're a virgin. And he's like, not since I was 14. I remember being like 10 at the time. Being like, what?

[David Borey]

Wait, wait, wait. I only got four years left. Fuck. Fuck. I can't.

[Langston Kerman]

That's not gonna happen. That's not gonna happen.

[David Borey]

I haven't even started.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. What? But yeah, I think Will Smith fucked Young for sure.

[David Borey]

That's probably a safe bet. I think, obviously, if you have your own thoughts on whether or not Will Smith fucked young, give us a call. 844-LIL-MOMS. As it relates to this voicemail, I would say that the reason I believe that unattractive white women are so dangerous is because of the weird hierarchical dangers of cross pollinating patriarchy with racism. Right? That like, you create a system where attractiveness is value. And then you create a system where women understand from the jump that they are being positioned, and I'm not saying this as like a flex, but they are being positioned as less than two men. And white women in particular have sort of bought into that subservience of being like, yes, we serve under that second tier position. But then you create a fucked up hierarchy inside of that second tier where you go the Pretty ones we will treat nicely, and the ugly ones will bark at and throw in the mud. And so the ugly ones then need somebody to feel powerful over, and they are so mean to anybody else they can find.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm so glad you stepped in and took that, because my synopsis would not have been that elegant. It would have been angry.

[David Borey]

This bitch hurt my feelings. This bitch called the police on me.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, I was just gonna say all of those things also breed an anger. And then enter an unsuspecting black man who just thought he got a white girl and his life is ravaged. No, I think we all can. We all know them. We've all seen it.

[David Borey]

It's tough to watch.

[Langston Kerman]

It is. It is really. It's painful.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Did I ever tell you. This is a funny story we gotta go to say, but this is a funny story. I tell you. I was out in LA at a bar one time with this girl, and we got really drunk, and behind us there was a white lady. This is so bad. Behind us, there was a white lady, and she was just yelling at this nigga, bro. Like, it was bad. It was bad. Like, publicly shaming him. She was ugly, and he was real handsome, and she was like. Like, had my man's. Had my. Had my man's head down. You know what I'm saying? Like. And like, I was wasted and, like, it was going on for so long that I turned around and I was like, bro, you ain't got to take that. Whoa.

[David Borey]

You stepped up, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

I was. I was like, you. It doesn't. You don't even have. It doesn't have to be like that. And then she went crazy on me and was like, who the are you, fat, fat bitch. You fat fuck bitch. I'll talk to him however the I want. And I was just like. I was just like, bro, you. You don't have to do this. You don't. You don't have to be like this. You have to take that. I understand. We're in Silver Lake. It doesn't have to be like. I just, like, talked over her because if I looked at her, she would get mad, you know? I mean, I was like, you really? Like, I was just, like, looking him in his eyes, but I was really drunk. I was like, you really don't. It doesn't have to be like this. And she was like, fat fuck. You fat fuck nothing. You fat fuck nothing. And then. And then she went to the bathroom, and I took her wallet and her cigarettes.

[David Borey]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

She left her purse. I know. I left her Wallet, like, just out front. But you didn't.

[David Borey]

You didn't take any gold.

[Langston Kerman]

It was more just like a fuck this bit. But, like, it hurt my feelings because as I was leaving, she was in the bathroom. I was leaving with this girl. And he. Even then, he wasn't like. He wasn't like, thank you. You could just tell he was.

[David Borey]

He was gone.

[Langston Kerman]

He was just cooked. He was just cooked.

[David Borey]

I think the unfortunate reality is, while I do think that they're the most dangerous people on the planet, I've. I struggle to feel sympathy for the attractive black men, particularly who. Who go over there, because I think it should just be common knowledge at this point in a way that makes me go like, come on, man, what are we doing? Like, I get it, you think your baby boo is special. But like, history teaches us over and over and over fucking again that that's not true. Chill. Leave them alone.

[Langston Kerman]

I can see the look on his face still. And it was just like. And it was like the way she was yelling at him. This is what I took from it, too. I was like, I don't think she would yell at a white guy like that. No, I don't think she would do that in public like that.

[David Borey]

And that's what I'm saying. I think they need somebody to serve under them because we created a system of service where they have a tier, but then they are being treated as fucking thirds here when they were promised second tier.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. That's a big ball. Yeah. Because even the way she was talking and then even the way she was talking to me was like, I don't think you would yell at a white guy. Like, it was just like, she was talking like there was no repercussions for her actions.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you can't get bopped on the head.

[Langston Kerman]

I did feel good, though, as we were walking, because she left and I just, like, grabbed that shit.

[David Borey]

No, you did. And we gotta go in a second. But you did a beautiful thing. I think very few people are able to watch somebody experience that in a public space than step up, and you should be commended. That's a brave thing you did to say something, a thing that, frankly, I don't know that I would have done in that situation.

[Langston Kerman]

Ah, well, you know, one out of 10 times you got to step up. There's nine times I didn't say anything so fair.

[David Borey]

Dear listener, I hope that this at least confirms your suspicions. I hope you feel satisfied to hear it. Both your mother and grandmother let them know we agree. White women are the most dangerous, ugly white women, women specifically are the most dangerous people on the planet. I know you didn't say ugly, but we don't fix the words around here. We knew what the fuck you meant. It's not up for debate.

[Langston Kerman]

I'd go far as to say busted.

[David Borey]

Dog face. White women are by far the most dangerous people on the planet. And you're right and maybe tighten that message up next time.

[Langston Kerman]

Bye baby.

[David Borey]

You want to tell the people where they can find you?

[Langston Kerman]

Cool guy jokes87 on Instagram patreon.com davidbory go buy my special and Dallas April 25th and 26th I'm going to be at the Dallas Comedy Club. Come out and find me.

[David Borey]

And you can find me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can see me live in Vancouver Hoover March 27th through the 29th and then in Salt Lake City on April 10th and then again in fucking Vegas on April 17th. And watch Everybody's Live on with John Mulaney on Netflix. It is out now. It is live. We have episodes every week and I'm very proud to have written on it. And I'll show up a few times in that bad boy so it'll be fun. And if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us who the most I guess positive group of people on the planet are, you send it all to mymamapodmail.com buy the merch rate subscribe Review Remember, buzz stuff is all right. All right, bye bitch.

[Langston Kerman]

Motherfuckin Mini Episodes Mini Episode Mini Episode Motherfucking mini Episodes Mini Episode Mini Episodes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 25th. Spring in for storewide deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible beverage items from Tropicana Lemonade or breakfast favorites like General Mills Cereal, Coffee Mate Creamer, Quaker Cereal, plus many more. Then clip the offer in our app for automatic event long savings stack up those rewards to save even more restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[California Psychics]

When you haven't found love, it can feel like everyone else has. It's in every movie, every song and all the PDA. Looking for love sucks. Thankfully, California psychics can give you the guidance you need to find the one. We guarantee if your reading isn't life changing, it's free and new customers receive 20 minutes for just $20. Visit californiapsychics.com and experience the joy of certainty. California Psychics.

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