Human DNA in Hotdogs: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Human DNA in Hotdogs: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode"

Podcast Information:

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Hosts: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Borey delve into a variety of Black conspiracy theories, exploring everything from the silly to the sinister, often with humorous anecdotes and guest insights.
• Episode: Human DNA in Hotdogs: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode
• Release Date: February 6, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Motherf*ckin Mini Episode" of My Momma Told Me, hosts Langston Kerman and David Borey tackle a bizarre and unsettling conspiracy theory: the presence of human DNA in hotdogs. The episode kicks off with playful banter and a segue into the main topic, setting the stage for a deep dive into food processing practices and the possible inclusion of unintended biological materials in processed meats.

Main Discussion

Voicemail Introduction

At [19:10], David Borey introduces a voicemail from a listener claiming that human DNA has been found in hotdogs. The voicemail serves as the catalyst for the episode’s central discussion.

• David Borey [19:10]: "I've seen something that said that there was human DNA found in our hot dogs. And is that a conspiracy or is that a real thing?"

The hosts debate whether this claim is a legitimate conspiracy theory or mere "Black people fodder"—a term they humorously use to describe content prevalent on their social media feeds.

Analyzing the Claim

The conversation shifts to dissecting the validity and implications of finding human DNA in hotdogs.

• Unknown Speaker [25:03]: "They don't give a fuck even when they know. What I'm saying is that the way hot dogs are made... they might cut themselves, they might slice a finger, they might slob."

The unknown speaker, presumably a guest or co-host with expertise or personal experience in food processing, elaborates on how human DNA could inadvertently enter the food supply during meat processing. They explain that during the slaughtering and slicing of animals, accidental contamination with human biological material could occur, leading to the presence of human DNA in processed meats like hotdogs.

Prevalence and Impact

The hosts explore the statistic that approximately 2% of hotdog samples reportedly contain human DNA.

• Unknown Speaker [26:18]: "Our research found that 2% of all samples of hot dogs basically came back saying that there was human DNA inside of them."

Both hosts express concern over this figure, questioning whether it signifies mere accidental contamination or something more sinister.

• David Borey [26:33]: "That's a lot. That is a lot."

They discuss whether this level of contamination is acceptable or indicative of deeper issues within the food processing industry.

Broader Implications

The conversation broadens to critique the food industry's oversight and ethical standards.

• Unknown Speaker [31:04]: "It's the same protein compound body... They're not even a food company at this point. They're a real estate company anyways."

The hosts argue that large corporations prioritize profit over food safety and quality, leading to lax standards that allow contaminants to enter the food supply.

Defensive Counterpoints

David Borey contemplates whether such contamination is inevitable in mass-produced food products, acknowledging the difficulty in completely eliminating accidental inclusions.

• David Borey [31:56]: "If you think for a second there's not boo boo batter in your fruit Loops, you're wrong."

Despite recognizing the gruesome possibilities, he suggests that complete avoidance of such contamination is challenging in modern food production.

Notable Quotes

• David Borey [19:10]: "I've seen something that said that there was human DNA found in our hot dogs. And is that a conspiracy or is that a real thing?"

• Unknown Speaker [25:47]: "I think what it's insinuating is that they don't give a fuck."

• Unknown Speaker [31:04]: "They're not even a food company at this point. They're a real estate company anyways."

• David Borey [31:56]: "If you think for a second there's not boo boo batter in your fruit Loops, you're wrong."

Insights and Conclusions

The episode sheds light on the often-overlooked aspects of food processing, emphasizing the potential for human contamination in mass-produced foods like hotdogs. While the hosts approach the topic with humor and skepticism, they underscore legitimate concerns regarding food safety standards and corporate responsibility. The discussion reflects a broader distrust in large food corporations and highlights the need for greater transparency and stricter regulations to ensure the purity and safety of consumer food products.

Final Thoughts

Langston Kerman and David Borey successfully navigate a controversial and unsettling conspiracy theory, blending humor with critical analysis. Their examination of human DNA in hotdogs serves as a springboard for a larger conversation about the ethics of food production and the integrity of mass-market food items. By bringing such topics to light, the podcast encourages listeners to question and be more informed about the food they consume.

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Disclaimer: The claims discussed in this episode reflect the hosts' perspectives and the voicemail received. Listeners are encouraged to consult reliable sources and official reports for factual information regarding food safety and processing standards.

Transcript

[David Borey]

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[David Borey]

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[David Borey]

Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode. Motherfucking mini episode.

[Langston Kerman]

Put it in my mouth.

[Unknown]

She said put it in her mouth. In her mouth. Motherfucking mouth. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a phenomenal episode of My mama told me, the.

[David Borey]

Podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we.

[Unknown]

Finally work to prove the little bullshit you have been thinking about at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

[David Borey]

You wanna know something crazy? I don't know any of the lyrics to put it in your mouth besides the chorus. Mm. The Akanelli song. Right.

[Unknown]

Yeah, of course.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I don't know what else it would be.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Beyonce didn't cover it. It's just him and Kia Jeffries. Of course. Kia Jeffries.

[David Borey]

She's the one singing Put it. Put in your mouth.

[Unknown]

Yeah, exactly.

[David Borey]

What a great song.

[Unknown]

But no, I. I don't. I don't know the words either. I just.

[David Borey]

No, you just know putting in your mouth.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And then a guy says something gruff.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he's this.

[David Borey]

I'm a buster not. All right.

[Unknown]

Yeah, he's pissed.

[David Borey]

Do you. I. I feel like I've kind of gotten to a point where there's. There's not like a ton of sex rap songs I love listening to anymore. Like, when it's just straight up, like, thug lovin type shit. You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

Like, I don't like that shit.

[David Borey]

No, it's just like a bad. It's. Cause it's like, why you always. It always feels like, why am I here?

[Unknown]

It also feels like a silly thing to be listening to men who I know objectively have a complicated relationship with sex and sexuality. You know what I mean? Like, the way you treat women and have to in some regard, given the life that you've chosen and the world you live in, doesn't lead to any of the promises of, like, kindness that. That I would hope you're associating with sex.

[David Borey]

No, truly, truly. Like, you just like. And, like, some of them are good. Like, what's that? That studio song by Schoolboy Q. I could listen to that. That's like, good, but sometimes. What's that? What these want from a. What is this? I'd rather listen to a woman sing about sex.

[Unknown]

Yeah, no, that's fair.

[David Borey]

Call me crazy.

[Unknown]

No, you're right. I much more enjoy the Meg Thee Stallion interpretation versus the Ja Rule.

[David Borey]

Okay, well, there is. That's. I do like those songs.

[Unknown]

I remember feeling that way in the era. I'm saying that, like, in present day. I don't want that energy coming my way.

[David Borey]

I'll still listen to, like, me and you don't let no worry. Get out. Baby, that is good.

[Unknown]

This is strictly between me and you, baby.

[David Borey]

That's just good. That's just good. Also, I'm Real. Ja Rule had hits for the ladies. Ja Rule?

[Unknown]

Really? I think we talked about this before. Ja Rule really had a run. He really had a run. And I know he's a joke to a lot of you now, but I think we really are forgetting how much he was number one in hip hop for a solid couple years.

[David Borey]

And I was the right age. I was in, like, junior high school. That shit was great, bro.

[Unknown]

That shit hit that I'm Real video.

[David Borey]

Ooh. Just in the house wishing I had a girlfriend.

[Unknown]

And yeah, you know what's crazy is Ja Rule also played it so perfectly because he came out as, like, a almost dmx, you know what I mean? Like, he was a murderer. We were scared of him in that video, Vici. We were like, yo, Ja Rule is the realest nigger that ever was a nigga in history. And then immediately flipped it, and we were just like, nah, that's just a killer who likes to find love.

[David Borey]

He's not always there when you call, but he's always on time. And by the way, I like those records from him better than the shit on Vinny, Vidi, Vici.

[Unknown]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Because even when he first came out, that Can I get a verse? Was like. I remember sometimes listening to verses as a kid, and I was like, I think this is too hard for me. Like, you ever heard the Can I get a verse? Like, on unedited. Feel slutty. Even if they all want it. Like, I don't. I don't want to make them feel it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Now that whole verse is him being like, bitch, give it to me.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah. And then he says, I still fucked you.

[Unknown]

Yeah. God damn.

[David Borey]

I don't know if that's what this song is about.

[Unknown]

Nah, man.

[David Borey]

I like it when Emil says, put. She go put a pussy on my mustache. That's the point. Yeah.

[Unknown]

This was more about women empowerment, honestly. And then you. You kind of made it. You're like, I don't care if you empowered, bitch. I still got some. Yeah, well, nasty, nasty guy. Ja Rule. But anyways, we thank him for his service.

[David Borey]

He did a lot of good buy rulecoin.

[Unknown]

Is there a Rule Coin?

[David Borey]

I assume that's something he's got going on.

[Unknown]

Go ahead and invest in Rural Coin. We certainly will. We pray, we hope and pray that Rural Coin will reach out to be a sponsor on the podcast if it should exist.

[David Borey]

Man, I'm sad we missed Rush Card.

[Unknown]

Fuck yeah.

[David Borey]

That was a whole. It had to be a scam. The commercials were so cheap.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. I think there's many, many articles about.

[David Borey]

Oh, it was as bad as it seemed.

[Unknown]

Yeah. About the sort of weird whatever it is. Like the. What is it? The predatory bullshit that happened with Rush Guards. I don't remember specifically. I think probably because a lot of it got flooded by his sexual assault history, his rich history of sexual assault. That said, I do think Rush carts also had problems.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that makes sense. It was based on, like, do you like Def Jam? You'll love this credit card.

[Unknown]

But here's. And this is where I turn into A nasty little conspiracy. Boy is. I wonder what Russell Simmons did to make people finally start telling us the truth about him.

[David Borey]

What do you mean?

[Unknown]

I mean that. And I don't think that this is even, like, speculative at this point. I think this is sort of proven is that Diddy is in trouble, obviously, because of hundreds and hundreds of sexual situations that at least. At the very least, were inappropriate in their nature.

[David Borey]

Right.

[Unknown]

Sexually. That said, what he's really in trouble for is fucking up that Ciroc deal that, like, he rubbed. He rubbed the wrong folks the wrong way. They wanted him, I think, to take Serac in some direction or make it public. I can't remember the specifics of it, but it was something where, like, large monies were going to be exchanged on a deal relating to Diddy's liquor company, specifically the parent company of Ciroc, which he does not own. He just sort of was the face of for a really long time. And Diddy refused that deal. He basically was like, I'm not doing whatever the fuck you want me to do. And it's such a large parent company that, like, he's. He's ruffling the feathers of people that can really fuck up your life.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

He. He says no. And suddenly we are awash with Diddy as, like, the woman beater, the sec, The. The. The serial rapist that we've. We've known he's been for forever. But now everything is. Is okay. We're bringing it to light. We're willing to tell the public about what this is.

[David Borey]

I heard that's what happened with Drake. I hate to keep bringing him up, but I heard that. That. That had a lot to do with. It was like. Cause there was some. It was like a $400 million deal or something like that. And he was going to go independent. And then all of a sudden it's like. Which I don't fucking know, man. But I do believe money is what gets you caught up. Because, like, why would he be able to do this for years with impunity? And then all of a sudden. Right?

[Unknown]

Yeah, and I believe it for Drake, too. I think that's probably why he's so adamant about suing Universal Music Group is not because. Just because of the song, making fun of him and being sort of like, as big as it is, but because he knew, like, there were other conversations that happened where I tried to leave. I didn't even want y'all to be my fucking record company in the first place. And then you keep me in this deal. But in keeping me in the deal, you bump up fucking Kendrick shit and bury my career. Like, which.

[David Borey]

The difficult part in all of that, too, is, like, the idea of thinking of Kendrick as a pawn in that, as opposed to it being like, it's fun. When it feels like it's just like, nah, he just hates this dude, which he does. But then to think that, like, there may be greater businesses at play than it. Then you're like, did he get played? Like, I don't know. It just played. But is he, like, a pawn of some sort?

[Unknown]

No, it feels sinister when it stops feeling like we're in control of it. That, like, truly, even music, things that we all just agree are universal pleasures are, like, somehow manipulated by a higher power. It's pretty terrifying.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Because it's like. Then you watch because you see the stakes. Right? Like, I don't think Kendrick was going to get a Super bowl before.

[Unknown]

No. Yeah. Cat Williams wasn't going to get that live. You know what I mean? That live Netflix special until he had the year that he had blowing everything up with Shannon Sharp.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Which. I don't know. We don't need to talk about that. I know, it's crazy. I think Earthquake can read.

[Unknown]

Oh, you think Earthquake can read?

[David Borey]

Yes, I think Earthquake can read.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[David Borey]

You don't think he. I just watched a very funny sketch with you and him. You don't think he can read?

[Unknown]

I'm not saying I didn't take the negative or the positive. I've just never heard anyone step up on his behalf, and I think I'm. I'm excited to hear it.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah. I like him.

[Unknown]

I like him a lot, too. I've only been a fan my whole life and then had the pleasure of meeting the man. And he was nice. It was cool. He was very funny, as he always is, and so talented. We didn't have a script for that sketch, so when we weren't filming, he sat in a chair and fell asleep. He wasn't proving himself one way or the other, so I. I have no evidence, but I hope so.

[David Borey]

All right. Yeah. I mean, this is neither. Neither here nor there. All right.

[Unknown]

Yeah, we got a voicemail if you want to do that.

[David Borey]

Yeah, leave Earthquake.

[Unknown]

Since you so scared of real talk.

[David Borey]

Whoa. Don't do that to me. We could do 40 minutes on earthquake if we have to.

[Unknown]

Okay, we got a voicemail. But before we do the voicemail, let's take a break. We're gonna do a quick break, and then we're gonna come back with more David, more Langston More My mama told me it's a mini episode.

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Borey]

You raggedy, we're back. Hell yeah, we're back, you raggedy. We have a voicemail sent from one of you. We're very excited. Also, you keep the voicemails coming.

[Unknown]

Keep them coming. We really love them a lot. Keep them under a minute if you can. Because currently we. We don't have that technology. But we're hoping to change that. And more importantly, you ain't got to talk that long. Get to the fucking.

[David Borey]

Yep. All right, let's play it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Oh, hello. I'm coming. I am. Why did you start like that?

[David Borey]

And I saw something that said that there was human DNA found in our hot dogs.

[Unknown]

And is that a conspiracy or is that a real thing? I would say yes. And then I heard a conspiracy.

[David Borey]

Or I guess this is black people fodder.

[Unknown]

I don't know, but they were talking about. Can we pause it for one second? Black people fodder is so funny.

[David Borey]

It's also the majority of my Instagram feed.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I don't know if this is a conspiracy or black people fodder. It's just such a funny alternative to.

[David Borey]

Maybe it's just niggas talking.

[Unknown]

Maybe it's just black people foddering. Okay, we can keep playing.

[David Borey]

It has human DNA in it. Basically, their breakfast has human DNA in it.

[Unknown]

Or it's like kids or something. I don't know.

[David Borey]

I tried to stop eating McDonald's, but.

[Unknown]

I cannot stay away from a Hash.

[Langston Kerman]

Brown.

[Unknown]

In the morning. But anyway, this is about human DNA and hot dogs.

[David Borey]

Have you guys heard this?

[Unknown]

Could you break it down?

[David Borey]

First of all, lovely email or lovely voicemail.

[Unknown]

I love that. She was like, I'm hearing a lot that McDonald's might be mixing kids in their food. Anyway, I. I am addicted to these hash browns. I'm eating them two at a time. I can't help myself.

[David Borey]

I cannot stop. That's also hilarious, though, because I get it. McDonald's. The only thing I think they have going anymore is breakfast.

[Unknown]

Mm. You don't think that they have. That it's even worth the squeeze anymore outside of breakfast?

[David Borey]

Not really.

[Unknown]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

It's so good.

[Unknown]

McDonald's breakfast is great. But I'm. Yeah, I still fuck with McDonald's fries. Too heavy to ever, ever turn on them.

[David Borey]

I'm not turning. All right, that's fair. But I don't know.

[Unknown]

Yeah, you're being. You're being nasty.

[David Borey]

The breakfast is fire. They got that.

[Unknown]

You're cutting their main thing, right? Breakfast ain't their main thing. It's a great signature, but it isn't their main shit. Their fries and their hash browns are, I would say, a foot above everybody else's.

[David Borey]

All I'm saying is I would take a McGriddle over a McChicken at this point.

[Unknown]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

And I just. I might be sick.

[Unknown]

I'm a Nuggets man.

[David Borey]

Wow. Really?

[Unknown]

I often get the nuggets. If I'm not getting the nuggets, I get a Quarter Pounder deluxe.

[David Borey]

Wow. Oh, okay, Mr. Monopoly.

[Unknown]

Yeah, man. I. Back in the. Back in the late 90s, there was a burger called the Big and Tasty. Yeah. I don't know if y'all had the Big and Tasty. I know it was regional. I'm not sure. Yeah, okay. Denver had the Big and Tasty.

[David Borey]

Now the Big Cheese, right?

[Unknown]

It. It did not. But it was, like, their answer to a Whopper. So maybe it did have a. It did have cheese, which you could opt out of the. Obviously. But anyway, the Big and Tasty was their answer to the Whopper. That was my burger for years. I was like, I'm a Big and Tasty man. And then they got rid of the Big and Tasty, and it wasn't until years later that they gave you the Quarter Pounder deluxe option, which, in essence, is the Big and Tasty returned.

[David Borey]

Okay. Because the Quarter Pounder Deluxe, it's like. It's the Quarter Pounder, but with all the stuff on it.

[Unknown]

It's tomatoes, it's lettuce, it's pickles. It's. It's the whole shebang.

[David Borey]

Right. Cause the Big and tasty, they did have that thick tomato on there.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yep.

[David Borey]

See, I was always. I was heavy on the dollar menu. Heavy on the dollar menu. And I mean, you tweak it up, you pull Mac sauce on a. On a double cheeseburger, it tastes like a Big Mac.

[Unknown]

No, I get that. Yeah. For sure. It's the same. It's the same meat.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Meat is loose. Meat is a loose. I don't know if we could call it meat.

[Unknown]

It's the same protein compound body.

[David Borey]

But that's not what we're here. We're talking about. First of all, I do want to say. Lovely email or voicemail. Love the etiquette. Right around the time it needed to.

[Unknown]

Be one little anecdote.

[David Borey]

But it didn't go crazy.

[Unknown]

She kept talking, but it got cut off, and probably rightfully so. I don't know that there was a lot left that we needed to hear, and I think this was great.

[David Borey]

She was familiar, but not in an inappropriate way.

[Unknown]

Yeah, the oh, hello, surprise start jarred me. But in retrospect, that's me being judgmental. That has nothing to do with you. It just very much felt like you were reading in a library and then forgot that you had made a phone call and then were like, oh, hello, by the way. And I'm not sure why you would. You would do that if you called us, but that's okay.

[David Borey]

That's all right. Anyways, what do you think about that DNA? I think this has got to be true.

[Unknown]

I have an uncle who is a pretty successive. Pretty is reductive. He's a very successful neurologist. He's like a dude. Yeah. Brain guy. He kind of knows. He studies brains and sort of is like one of the premier scientists in the country as it relates to brain. And he once explained to me that part of his lab would make people, like, slicing up a microscopic sort of like, slice of hot dog and put it under a microscope so that they could study all of the different particles that are inside of hot dogs outside of just meat. And he said that. That you can, like, very clearly see bone in there. You can barely very clearly see hair in there. You can very clearly see all kinds of items in plastics and shit, all kinds of crazy items that have absolutely nothing to do with the meat that they claim is in there. They said that every single hot dog.

[David Borey]

Is this, like, genetic stuff, like bone and hair. Is it pig bone in there? We're talking about people like human, you know what I'm saying?

[Unknown]

I think the implication, at least in talking to him was that he was saying it was animal hair, animal bone. But I think what this person that left this lovely voicemail is suggesting is that maybe what is being found in there also is human in its origin.

[David Borey]

Okay, I, because. And we, we, we talked a little bit off mic about this. I think it makes sense to me. You said we, you were saying that we are underestimating how much 2% is.

[Unknown]

So let's just clarify that, that, that our research found. We looked it up very quickly. Olivia did, did some quick research as well as Bay. And our research found that 2% of all samples of hot dogs basically came back saying that there was human DNA inside of them. That there's human DNA in roughly 2% of the hot dogs. And y'all were like, that's like, all right, so that just means a lady touched a hot dog.

[David Borey]

I feel like that just comes with processing.

[Unknown]

I think that's an exceptional amount. What.

[David Borey]

Okay. And this is. We don't quite have the research for it, but I would be curious what amount of processed food does not come out with some human DNA, bro, think.

[Unknown]

About it this way. 2% is like what RFK got. Do you know what I mean? It's like a voting.

[David Borey]

That's a lot.

[Unknown]

How many people do you see fully being like, nah, I fuck with rfk.

[David Borey]

That's a lot. That is a lot.

[Unknown]

It's a lot of people. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not nothing. It's negligible in the grand scheme of winners and losers. But that's not nothing.

[David Borey]

But I mean, I guess then if it becomes, if it becomes a case of how did it get there? Because then that's the question we're answering, right? Because it's clearly been proven. How did it get there? What are we, are we insinuating that they got a couple bodies in there? Like what are we saying?

[Unknown]

I think what it's insinuating is that they don't give a fuck.

[David Borey]

I been thought that it's a hot dog, you don't give a fuck. But you got one thing. 7:11.

[Unknown]

I'm saying that they don't give a fuck even when they know. Do you? What I'm saying that the way hot dogs are made, we should be clear about this as well, is the literal scraps of what's left behind from other animals. Sort of like massacres. I guess you're slicing up a big ass bull or cow and you got some pieces laying around, and some of those pieces are not usable as, like, a package sense. Like, you can't, like, put that in a package, show it to somebody and be like, you want to eat this? Because they'd be fucking disgusted. And so they take all those scraps and they grind them all up, and then they. They put those. The. The ground meat into a casing. And that is a beef hot dog. Right? That's the fucking premise of it. And I'm saying that while somebody is slaughtering an animal, they might cut themselves, they might slice a finger, they might fucking slob. Because. Because they're thinking about big old steaks while they're cutting this cow. I don't know. I don't know what the. What it takes to get to 2%, but I know that whatever falls on that ground that they then sweep up and stuff inside of a hot dog, they're not, like, checking ahead of time to make sure there's not, like, a fingy in there.

[David Borey]

Right? That's. I could agree with that. I could agree with that. 2. And this is gonna sound nasty. How much does it matter?

[Unknown]

All right, now you and I are on the same page. Now we can have a mature conversation because my uncle showed me. He told me all of this about cutting up this hot dog and what you can find inside of it because he wanted to scare me out of eating hot dogs. That was the intention. He was basically being like, hey, hot dogs are fucked. You should leave these alone. I've seen it. It's disgusting.

[David Borey]

Were you going crazy on hot dogs when that happened?

[Unknown]

Probably. Your boy probably hit his third hot dog. I had no reason to be questioning the quality of the meat. I was in a. I was at family event.

[David Borey]

You gotta relax.

[Unknown]

You gotta chill. You're going crazy.

You're eating bones, man.

[David Borey]

Did he pull you aside?

[Unknown]

Nah, it was just. It was just in front of everybody. He was like, hey, man, those are. Yeah, you should see what's in hot dogs.

[David Borey]

But also, you're ruining the party.

[Unknown]

But that was my feeling, was I didn't feel none of it. Made me go, I'm not gonna eat hot dogs. I was just like, oh, that's crazy. Well, shit, I hope I don't never taste the hair. Yeah, that's all I thought was like, I hope it's so. It's. As long as it stays in small enough pieces, I think I'll eat hair, man.

[David Borey]

Meat processing has never been a clean situation. No, it's better now than it ever has been, I think. But it's not like processing of any. Anything. There's so much nasty shit in this shit. It's like, are you more worried about the DNA or the nitrates?

[Unknown]

Yeah. If you think for a second there's not boo boo batter in your fruit Loops, you're wrong. Do you know what I mean? There just is. We are humans and humans are vile, vile creatures. And then processing it is already on. Mass is already too big of an operation to have true, like, checks and balances in an honest way. And then on top of that, you put corporations in charge of it that are so worried about. About their bottom line about being able to make profit that they're not interested in wasting time on checks and balances. So absolutely, there is vile human particles inside of literally everything you eat that is processed in this country. And frankly, even the things that are not processed are very vulnerable to all kinds of contaminations as well. That said, that's the life we got.

[David Borey]

That's where I'm at with is like, kind of like. And hats off to you if you can go full organic or do whatever. But it's sort of like you walk into that McDonald's or you crack open that pack of ballparks, you knew what.

[Unknown]

This was, and I'm too far in it to be able to go and grow a garden. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm too entrenched. I know what chick fil a tastes like. I can't go back.

[David Borey]

And how often are you eating hot dogs? I think that's the place where you could minimize. But even the reasons to not eat hot dogs, of all the reasons to not eat hot dogs, human DNA being present is not even top five, bro.

[Unknown]

We. We do pigs in the blanket at the crib about once every two weeks.

[David Borey]

Come on, Come on. It's a fun time for everybody.

[Unknown]

We all get to do it together. It's nice.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It's exciting. It's like so. It's like, I. I feel like this is like. Yeah, it's just. I feel like even, even if this is anti hot hot dog propaganda, I think there's a lot more. There's a lot better reasons to. Naughty. This is real. And it does sound nasty on paper. In practice, I don't think it's that big a deal and maybe I'm gross.

[Unknown]

I think it's horrible. I think it's a shame that we live in a system that would poison us so actively and so effectively in literally everything we consume. I think that is truly a shame. And I hate that that is a fact. But it is a fact, and there's no debate about it. And if you pretend otherwise, you're being obtuse. So either gr. Grow a garden and eat that way for the rest of always, or grow up and wait till McDonald's brings back that big and tasty.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And get you those hash browns every now and again.

[Unknown]

Get you a hash brown, baby girl. You deserve it.

[David Borey]

You're trying to stay away. I understand. You're doing a good job.

[Unknown]

If it's some little kid products in there, don't even think about that.

[David Borey]

And it's like you just getting a hash brown. That's pretty good.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's not bad. There's probably less little kid byproduct in the hash browns than anything.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown]

But you don't want to find out where McDonald's gets their potatoes and who had to pick them. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Because that's probably where it's coming from.

[David Borey]

It's all bad. It's all bad. They're not even a food company at this point. They're a real estate company anyways. They don't give a shit about what they're feeding you, bro.

[Unknown]

McDonald's has an orphanage. They really? Yeah. Damn.

[David Borey]

Damn.

[Unknown]

I think I'd rather be a warren.

[David Borey]

I'd rather be a ward of the state.

[Unknown]

It's actually a gorgeous, gorgeous facility.

[David Borey]

Are you talking about the Ronald McDonald House?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I don't know why. I always thought that was some kind of a boys and girls club situation. I didn't know they lived there. No.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Ronald McDonald's house, I think, is sort of a. It's not just an orphanage, but it is a sort of, like, place where people can find both foster homes and, like, alternative housing situations. I think it's also for people in domestic violence situations. They can like all kinds of housing options for people in need.

[David Borey]

Okay, so that's kind of. I think that offsets the 2%.

[Unknown]

Whoa. No part of you goes, well, maybe that's where they're getting them kids.

[David Borey]

No. And you're a nasty man for bringing it up. You're a cynic and you're upset and you're lashing out.

[Unknown]

Fair enough. Fair enough, man. I don't know.

[David Borey]

I think we did it.

[Unknown]

I think we did it. You want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[David Borey]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram, patreon.com backslash DavidBory go buy my special. You know, and that's it. You know just, you know, we're out here. It's a weird time, man. It's a weird time.

[Unknown]

It's a weird time. But you know what makes it even weirder is following me on Instagram and Twitter and TikTok, I guess. I don't know.

[David Borey]

It's back, right?

[Unknown]

It's back. I don't really use it, but but we do use the My mama told me Tick Tock a lot and it's. Yeah, it's doing great. We we hope y'all continue to to follow there at our our tick tock. But follow me at Langston Kerman. Like subscribe, you know, send voicemails and at 844-little moms. You can also email us at my mamapod gmail dot com. You you should come see me live February 22nd in Vancouver. I will be a part of the JFL Vancouver Festival. It's gonna be dope, one night only. I'll be there and then probably coming back to LA right after. You can see me at Vermont Comedy Club March 27th through the 29th. I'm gonna be there. So come see me there. Like subscribe, Send the emails, send the voices, smells rate review. Eat hot dogs. Bye.

[David Borey]

Give him me a good old rub. Mini episode Mini episode Mini episode.

[Unknown]

Mini.

[David Borey]

Episode Mini episode Multiple mini episode.

[Unknown]

Hey, Jenice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz.

[Langston Kerman]

We're the hosts of Mind the Business Small Business Success Stories produced by Ruby.

[Unknown]

Studio and Intuit QuickBooks.

[Langston Kerman]

Catch up on seasons one and two.

[Unknown]

And join us for a brand new season of the podcast as we talk to small business owners about how they manage and grow their businesses with the help of platforms like Intuit QuickBooks. Listen to mind the Business Small Business Success Stories on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Unknown]

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