iPhone Keyboards Rigged to Fail (with Olly Sholotan)

Summary

My Momma Told Me Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: iPhone Keyboards Rigged to Fail (with Olly Sholotan)
Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Olly Sholotan (actor, musician, “Bel Air”)

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, comedic episode, hosts Langston Kerman and David Gborie welcome actor and musician Olly Sholotan to dive into Black conspiracy theories—specifically, the suspicion that Apple regularly tweaks iPhone keyboards to make users more reliant on AI. The trio unpacks the tech theory, reflects on internet culture, explores Black social experiences, and detours into everything from strip club economics to Nollywood crossovers—all with their signature irreverent humor.

---

1. Key Discussion Points & Insights

The “iPhone Keyboard Conspiracy”

• Olly’s Claim:
  "My mama told me Apple changes the iPhone keyboard regularly, so you become reliant on AI." (12:12)

• Symptoms:

  • Every few months, Olly finds himself unable to type or spell properly—suspects keyboard keys are being subtly resized (13:09).
  • Conspiracy: Apple undermines users’ confidence in their own typing/spelling, nudging them toward autocorrect/AI reliance.

• Group Reactions:

  • “I pride myself in being...eloquent...but then when I'm on the phone, I'm like, ‘I talk good?’” (14:43, Olly)
  • Stickers compound the issue, with strange new symbols replacing language: “We're creating our own language now.” (15:33, David)

• Expansion into Tech Addiction:

  • “If we can’t write, you can’t even communicate without this thing—it becomes even more of a necessity than it already is.” (44:52, David)
  • Langston frames it as part of a “global AI arms race” where our input is used to train better predictive tech (45:06).
  • “We are guinea pigs for teaching the artificial intelligence to talk for us.” (44:25, Langston)

• Research Fallout:

  • Langston finds articles (Nov 1, 2025) confirming that Apple is using user failures at autocorrect to iteratively improve its AI, confirming the underlying dread in Olly’s theory (43:55–44:16).

Notable Quote

“Tim Cook has made us all just a little worse at typing and spelling.”
— Olly Sholotan (14:09)

---

The Language of the Internet & Social Media

• Discussion of the “dead internet theory” and the futility of online engagement:
  • “Everybody on the Internet to me is either a robot or not as cool as me.” (05:26, David)
• How low standards shape social spaces—writing, tweeting, drafts-that-never-get-posted due to future fears (06:41–07:32).
• Anxiety about a “mutually assured destruction” scenario if everyone’s embarrassing messages/drafts got leaked (07:45–08:26).

---

Bottle Service: A Conspiracy Against Black Men?

• New “Mama Told Me” Theory:
  "I think that bottle service was invented to keep black men down." (21:02, Olly)
• Evidence:
  • Ridiculous club upcharges ($600 for a $20 bottle), lack of pre-warning, and the exaggerated push for tables among Black club-goers.
  • Social “redlining”—exclusive, overpriced experience sold primarily to Black clientele, not white men (22:05).
• Contrast with Celebrity/White Privilege:
  • White stars get better rooms and service, often free: “Every restaurant apparently has a secret room, and it’s a better room than the restaurant.” (23:08, Langston)

---

Strip Club Economics & Peer Pressure

• Strip club vs. bottle service:
  • Strip clubs are (strangely) less exploitative, with better vibes and lower prices—especially outside LA (“LA is not the place.” 24:43).
  • Stories of peer pressure to overspend (“Spend less than $1,000, I’m telling everybody.” 26:21).
• Financial advice for first-timers:
  • “Go in knowing that if you exceed whatever number’s in your head, you are...” (27:59, Langston)
  • Cautionary tales of ATM trips with “a boner.” (28:26, David)

---

AI Bias & Black Identity

• AI & Black Stereotypes:
  • Concerns that “black” slang/conversations fed into phone AIs are being used to reinforce offensive stereotypes (47:40–48:41).
  • “They are doing so much work to reinsert narratives about the black identity back at us via AI.” (48:10, Langston)
  • Commodification and data-mining turn Black users into raw training material.

---

Cultural Detours

• White Saviors:
  • Group debates who their “white savior” would be (Jason Williams, Tom Hanks, Eminem, John Brown, Bernie Sanders).
• Nollywood Remakes:
  • Hilarious pitches for Nigerian versions of Black American classics: “Stomp the Village,” “Nigerian Belly,” “Nigerian Friday.” (67:49–68:12)
• Basketball as a Life Lesson:
  • Olly’s journey to learning basketball, aiming for the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game (70:17).
  • The horror of competitive adult leagues and “ball is life” culture.

School & Microaggressions

• “Why do they still read Huckleberry Finn out loud?” — Group talks about being othered in English class, discomfort when teachers insist on saying the N-word, and how these microaggressions are baked into public education (38:22–40:40).

---

2. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you can be that lame and...tweet the same tweets that I could tweet, but choose not to...I think I hold myself to too high a standard.” (06:11, Olly)
• “We are guinea pigs for teaching the artificial intelligence to talk for us.” (44:25, Langston)
• “Every place you spend time online now...anything that’s free, you’re the product.” (44:40, Olly)
• “Strippers are good to talk to... they’re nice.” (29:54, David)
• “It’s just like what they want you to feel about these places, man...same ones changing the size of the keyboards, man.” (33:10–33:21, David)
• On historic microaggressions in school:
  “The fact that’s engineered into the public schooling system is so disgusting.” (39:20, David)
• “I like regular aged women.” (49:05, Olly, after jokes about strip clubs for seniors)

---

3. Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Theme | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 12:12 | Olly introduces the “iPhone keyboard is rigged” conspiracy | | 13:09 | Shared experience of tech sabotaging typing/spelling; AI dependence | | 14:43 | Olly's pride in speaking well vs. phone making him write poorly | | 21:02 | Olly’s “bottle service conspiracy” launched | | 23:08 | Celebrity/white privilege in club and restaurant scenes | | 28:26 | “ATM with a boner”—the shame and peer pressure of strip clubs | | 43:55 | Langston’s research confirms Apple’s use of user data to train autocorrect/AI | | 47:40 | AI bias and reinforcement of Black stereotypes | | 54:41 | Olly: “I’ve never seen Love & Basketball”—prompting classic black cinema talk | | 67:49 | Nollywood remake brainstorming (Stomp the Village, Nigerian Belly, etc.) | | 70:17 | Olly’s journey with basketball and “Disclaimer” nickname | | 73:39 | Host reflections: toxic competitiveness in adult extracurriculars | | 79:00 | Olly on the ending of “Bel Air” and personal growth |

---

4. Episode Flow & Tone

The hosts and guest riff with candid, sometimes wild energy, moving briskly from serious cultural critique to side-splitting banter. The tone is irreverent, crass, and insightful, mixing personal anecdotes with biting cultural observations. Olly fits right into the flow, jumping between his own theories, life stories, and comedic sparring.

---

5. For New Listeners

This episode exemplifies "My Momma Told Me" at its best:

• Thoughtful (and often silly) exploration of Black conspiracies and cultural anxieties
• Vulnerable conversation about Black experiences, micro/macroaggressions, community, and digital culture
• Riotous detours into social life, nostalgia, and pop culture, including “Love & Basketball,” strip club etiquette, and Nollywood
• Theories are playfully debunked or affirmed, but always prompt deeper dialogue

---

6. Additional Sections

“Love & Basketball” Conspiracy Voicemail [53:34–76:28]

• A caller tears down the film’s romantic reputation, arguing the final game is basically emotional (and physical) assault due to a dunk on an injured player. The hosts break down the plot, agree it’s "a horror movie," and connect back to gender dynamics and athletic culture.

---

7. Where to Find the Hosts & Guest

• Olly Sholotan:
  Instagram: @ollyollyshol | TikTok: @ollyshol | Music on Spotify | “Bel Air” Season 4 streaming

• David Gborie:
  Instagram: @coolguyjokes87 | December 12-13: Shows in New Orleans

• Langston Kerman:
  On Tour (December): Cleveland, Brooklyn, Rhode Island, Detroit

---

8. Closing Sentiments

The episode ties laffs to real anxieties about technology, self-image, and Black American life—making uncomfortable truths approachable through humor. Whether you’re worrying about Tim Cook shrinking your QWERTY or laughing over Nollywood remakes, you’ll leave amused, provoked, and probably, a bit more suspicious of your phone.

---

Listen for:

• Unfiltered takes
• Community camaraderie
• Blending of silliness with sincere critique

Essential Quote:

“We are guinea pigs for teaching the artificial intelligence to talk for us.”
— Langston Kerman (44:25)

---

For more conspiracies, community, and comedy, subscribe to “My Momma Told Me” and check out previous episodes!

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human Making the holidays magical for everyone on your list. It's no small feat, but with TJ Maxx, your magic multiplies with quality finds. Arriving daily through Christmas Eve, you'll save on luxe cashmere, the latest tech toys and more. So you can check off every name on your list and treat yourself to a holiday look that'll turn heads. Now you know where to go to make all that holiday magic. It's TJ Maxx. Of course, it's shaping up to be a very mag magical holiday.

[Ali Sholatan]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday. Because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network's busy taxes and fees extra.

[Ali Sholatan]

See mintmobile.com A couch potato warning is.

[Langston Kearney]

In effect as DirecTV transforms Thanksgiving into Streamsgiving.

[Ali Sholatan]

DirecTV's got free TV nationwide with a heavy front of 60 plus live channels and a steady stream of streaming apps. Conditions are perfect for non stop entertainment. So hunker down on the couch and sign up for your free trial of my entertainment from DirectTV.

[Langston Kearney]

I'm going to watch some free TV.

[Ali Sholatan]

Start streaming my entertainment from DirectTV now@.

[Langston Kearney]

Streamsgiving.Com my free is free paid services.

[Ali Sholatan]

5 day free trial then auto renews monthly.

[Langston Kearney]

Cancel anytime. Temporary credit hold may apply. Restrictions apply. See streamsgiving.com for details. AI produced.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Want black Friday prices without the crowds? Lowe's gets it. Shop their early Black Friday deals and beat the rush. $99 is all you need to grab a select 7 foot pre lit artificial Christmas tree for the holidays. And don't sweat what gifts to get dad. They have up to 40% off select tools and accessories going on now. That's how Lowes celebrates Black Friday. Early selection varies by location while supplies last.

[David Bore]

It's hard when handsome guys are also taller than you.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's like, come on.

[David Bore]

Especially actors. It's like, that's the secret. Yeah, the secret is that they're not huge.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's like we're all small.

[David Bore]

Yeah, that's like a fun little thing.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because that's my favorite thing about every single premiere ever is like me and every other actor, we get Together, and we're all the same height. And like, all these people that I've thought are tallest. Shit. I'm like, nah, look at all of us. All of us close to the ground. It's great. Look at us brothers. We equals.

[David Bore]

We equals, guys, big faces. That's how you do it. That's how you make a movie star.

[Ali Sholatan]

We all have to look at our female co stars, like, underneath her nose and put us on an apple box. But nah. And then I met Aaron Pierre, and the nigga's like, tall as hell.

[Langston Kearney]

I will say this.

[David Bore]

That's tough. That is tough.

[Ali Sholatan]

That's hard.

[Langston Kearney]

I will say this. You and your. You stand out in some ways in your cast in that. What do you call a bunch of tall motherfuckers?

[Ali Sholatan]

What you mean?

[Langston Kearney]

In Bel Air, there's a lot of tall people, including me.

[Ali Sholatan]

What are you talking about?

[David Bore]

I like that. Let's go.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, that's the thing. The thing about the Casa Bel Air.

[Langston Kearney]

We're all.

[Ali Sholatan]

We're all super tall. Us too.

[David Bore]

Everybody.

[Ali Sholatan]

We call.

[David Bore]

We all be here.

[Ali Sholatan]

Coco Jabari. All of us just, like, tall. Equally tall, you know, equally like 5, 11 and up. All of us together. It's really cool.

[David Bore]

If you're gonna fake this, you gotta start higher than five'11. That's my only note. That's my only note.

[Langston Kearney]

Five'11's what I reach for.

[David Bore]

If we're staying tall, you gotta be like, we're all six' two. We're all six'. The government growing babies. Microchips in your nannies. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money.

[Ali Sholatan]

Parched, even turkey stuffing.

[David Bore]

Y' all can't tell me nothing. Mama's favorite child. I was vagrant and wild. Even ran with some jealous niggas that hated my style. Welcome home, Max B. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

[Langston Kearney]

Me, the podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

[David Bore]

And we finally. We don't.

[Langston Kearney]

We don't do that.

[David Bore]

We don't. It's not even Finally.

[Langston Kearney]

Nah.

[David Bore]

Cause if you were waiting for something, that's on you.

[Langston Kearney]

We remain unaccomplished here on the podcast, but we have fun every week.

[David Bore]

Unaccomplished and most importantly, unaccountable.

[Langston Kearney]

Mm, that's true. That is the nicest part about doing this. The way that we're doing it is that we have met zero accountability up to this point.

[David Bore]

And I refuse, because come find me. Where am I at? I'm Walking the dog. I don't even go nowhere.

[Langston Kearney]

And I think a lot of you don't realize that we can just refuse accountability. I think some people consent to that, and that is their choice. I'm not here to judge them. But we choose to refuse your accountability.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Sometimes it's like you forget that we're mental.

[Langston Kearney]

Yep. I'm a man. I stand on something. And one of those things I stand on is not ever having to change.

[Ali Sholatan]

Ever. That actually just reminds me, I feel like in the age of social media, being canceled is so easy, but you can just decide not to.

[Langston Kearney]

Yep.

[Ali Sholatan]

You could just be like, what if I don't?

[Langston Kearney]

I'm not canceled?

[Ali Sholatan]

It's actually cool.

[David Bore]

Nah, it's like I just go back to work.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah. I'm totally cool with whatever you guys are saying about me. It's fine. That's fine.

[Langston Kearney]

No, that's your opinion.

[David Bore]

I operate under dead Internet theory, too. That's how I get. That's how I kind of get to, like, lately, that's how I've been. Everybody on the Internet to me is either a robot or not as cool as me. And that allows me to move throughout my life. I like that.

[Ali Sholatan]

Which I actually don't think is not true. I look through comments sometimes, and I see, like, grown adult men really, really passionate about things that make actually no sense.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Like Transformers. Nah, man. You can't go through because the of stupid that people will really start to.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's inspiring. I find it inspiring because I feel like, hold myself.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Let's go.

[Ali Sholatan]

Let me explain. I feel like I hold myself to way too high a standard. Right. It's like, I look on the Internet and I'm like, you know what? This person can also afford the Internet, and so can I. So, like, I think I'm working too hard. Right. If you can be that lame and that just uninteresting and have an Internet connection enough that you can tweet the same tweets that I could tweet but choose not to because I'm like, oh, well, no, that's lame. I don't know. I think I hold myself to too high a standard.

[David Bore]

I got a folder for some lame shit.

[Ali Sholatan]

Ooh.

[David Bore]

It used to be drafts on Twitter.

[Ali Sholatan]

My drafts man.

[David Bore]

My Twitter drafts folder. Like, 2013.

[Ali Sholatan]

Ooh.

[David Bore]

Could have won an Emmy, bro. I was going crazy in the draft.

[Ali Sholatan]

Why just the draft? Why don't you ever hit send?

[David Bore]

Because I want to live a life that's fair. You know what I mean?

[Ali Sholatan]

No, that's fair.

[David Bore]

I want to have friendships and be in Congress with people and, like, I.

[Ali Sholatan]

Want to be employed.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'd write it.

[Ali Sholatan]

God forbid one day there's going to be a bug and Elon Musk is going to accidentally publish all the drafts.

[David Bore]

No, brother.

[Ali Sholatan]

And we're all going to lose our jobs.

[David Bore]

I got scared. That's why I canceled my Twitter during Pandemic. I'm genuinely scared sometimes. It means Langston's texts are going to leak.

[Langston Kearney]

I worry about it all the time.

[David Bore]

Yeah, same.

[Langston Kearney]

I think there's a lot of.

[David Bore]

Not enough to stop.

[Langston Kearney]

A lot of things. I've documented, not always published, but certainly documented that if they become public or I'm cooked.

[David Bore]

But do you wonder. Maybe it's like a nuclear. Maybe it's like nuclear weapons where it's like, we all got nukes.

[Ali Sholatan]

Mutually Assured Destruction.

[David Bore]

Yeah, now we all got nukes.

[Ali Sholatan]

So, like.

[Langston Kearney]

Well, what scares me, and you brought this up is that I do think that that is going to be one of the last phases of a cultural civil war that we're facing where, like, it won't be physical fighting at first. It's gonna sort of start at, like, calling each other Nazis and, like, having these extreme views on each other. And then one party is going to start to lose power or feel like they're losing power and intentionally leak these draft folders for the powers that be. I think it is going to become.

[David Bore]

That's happened with that group chat, right?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it did.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. The Young Republicans thing is, like, very much reflect reflective of, I think a thing that's going to happen on both sides eventually.

[David Bore]

Young. I don't know if was the word, brother.

[Langston Kearney]

They were all 30.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah. They had mortgages.

[David Bore]

It's a bunch of old, fat dudes.

[Ali Sholatan]

Some had matured. 401k.

[Langston Kearney]

You mean those uncles and aunties? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

You mean, like when they bend over to pick something up from the ground, they groan. I'm so sorry.

[David Bore]

They were very ugly. I like it when bad people are ugly, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

It makes me so happy.

[David Bore]

It's really good. It's really good.

[Langston Kearney]

It's right.

[Ali Sholatan]

It feels like the order in the universe is correct and restored.

[David Bore]

You know what I mean? Cause I feel like the true evil is actually probably beautiful and that might be something fucked up in me.

[Langston Kearney]

No, I think that's right.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Like the truest evil. Because I think that's how you could get it. To me, the devil is probably beautiful.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, Yeah, I think that's right.

[Ali Sholatan]

I mean, what's the Samson and Delilah you know, it's the classic story of the most beautiful woman you know is.

[David Bore]

Secretly Satan trying to cut your hair off.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, exactly what I was gonna say.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. And Sampson was a cool dude. Was he?

[David Bore]

I actually don't know anything about.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was gonna say. I actually don't. I don't know if I could stand on that. That. He was.

[Langston Kearney]

He was kind of an asshole, too.

[David Bore]

What was his deal?

[Langston Kearney]

He was real strong. He was just real strong and could, like, fuck bad bitches and, like, lived like a king.

[David Bore]

I don't understand.

[Langston Kearney]

He was Aaron Pierre.

[David Bore]

I don't understand. Oh, okay.

[Ali Sholatan]

He was just.

[David Bore]

Oh. Aggressive daps. Overly aggressive daps. Picking you up. Picked you up with the daps.

[Langston Kearney]

He was just a superhero of a man, and. And then he fell in love with the wrong bad bitch. Yeah, it's really just an allegory for like, hey, pick your. Pick your bitches.

[David Bore]

Damn.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Are you in love with the Bible?

[Langston Kearney]

And I think the Bible people are gonna love my interpretation of.

[David Bore]

No.

[Ali Sholatan]

But yeah, I think they're anything like.

[David Bore]

The Transformers people, man.

[Langston Kearney]

I think they're gonna feel really good about the way I've interpreted Samson. Our guest today, he's a Samson in his own right.

[Ali Sholatan]

Strong, strong, Biggest hell, dirty, super tall bro.

[Langston Kearney]

He's a musician, an artist of all kinds, and most importantly, he's an actor. He is on a brand new season of the hit show Bel Air. You can see it on Peacock now. This episode comes out after it's already out. We love him. He's so talented in so many ways. Give it up for Ali Sholatan.

[Ali Sholatan]

Word. Thanks for having me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Would you say that you're racist?

[David Bore]

Not at all. No. Look at my dog. He's as black as can be.

[Langston Kearney]

That's how you chose to. That's the button.

[David Bore]

Oh, I was not. It's not going as good as it usually is over here. I know I'm projecting confidence to you guys, but inside, I'm panicking. Okay, hey, that's fair.

[Langston Kearney]

You wanted to impress you.

[David Bore]

I wanted to click the James Brown one, and then it got up. You know what?

[Ali Sholatan]

Look, I'll take it. I got that dog on me. You know, I'll take it. You smell good. I feel good.

[David Bore]

And you sing good. And make love good. Oh, there we go. There we go.

[Ali Sholatan]

That's right. Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Langston Kearney]

Ali, we're very happy you're here, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

I'm happy to be here.

[Langston Kearney]

You came to us, I think, with a pretty complicated conspiracy. Not in a way that we don't like, we love a complicated conspiracy here, but I think it is one that has layers that we should unpack. And I'm especially excited to hear you unpack. You said, my mama told me Apple.

[Ali Sholatan]

Changes the iPhone keyboard regularly, so you.

[David Bore]

Become reliant on AI.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yes.

[Langston Kearney]

Tell me everything.

[Ali Sholatan]

I mean, what is there to say? Have you ever. Here's the thing. What size phone do you have? Like, do you have the Pro Max or like, the regular? The Pro.

[Langston Kearney]

A regular pro.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay. I'm just a regular Pro Max.

[David Bore]

I got a Pro Max.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay, you got a big ass phone. You got a big ass phone. Hey, God forbid you try to type on any other type of phone. Does it work?

[David Bore]

I don't.

[Ali Sholatan]

No.

[David Bore]

I don't try to type on any of them.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay. Like, what do you mean? Like, no one's ever given you just like, hey, man, bro, like, have my.

[David Bore]

Phone real quick, bro. I'm on my shit too much. I don't want to be in yours.

[Ali Sholatan]

Fair. The point that I'm just making is.

[David Bore]

Like, get that thing away from me and my shit. My shit. But you're right. Cause my shit is huge. Like, and I got a big ass case on it.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

So like, if I grab, like, my girl's phone. You got like a little cheetah prank case. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

But I'm just saying, it's like, I feel like every couple of months, I magically stop being able to type or spell. And so here there's one of two things happening. Either my phone is intentionally changing the key sizes so that I'm hitting the wrong thing and I'm convinced that I need an iPhone so that I buy another iPhone. Or it's kind of like, remember in high school when your teachers are like, oh, you know what? You're never gonna have a calculator in your pocket. And no one has been more wrong in the history of being wrong than that teacher. Yo, that something that in English they never said was. Oh, you're never gonna have a spell check in your pocket now. I do. I'm the worst speller on the planet now.

[David Bore]

Really?

[Langston Kearney]

I have God in my pocket. Like, they did not tell us gonna be a thing.

[David Bore]

My shit got more titties than God.

[Ali Sholatan]

Dude, bro, bro, bro. Of all shapes and sizes. Come on, man.

[Langston Kearney]

What do you got?

[David Bore]

Two. What do you got?

[Ali Sholatan]

Two.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Only.

[David Bore]

Get out of here.

[Ali Sholatan]

Amateur hour.

[David Bore]

I'm going crazy. Yeah, check the numbers.

[Ali Sholatan]

So I'm saying, I think Tim Cook has made us all just a little worse at typing and spelling. And the way he does that is by changing iPhone keyboard sizes.

[Langston Kearney]

That's really fascinating.

[David Bore]

I mean, I'm with that because I think the phone took away typing in general, right? Yeah, just like home key. The way we learned to type in middle school.

[Ali Sholatan]

Home row and all that stuff.

[Langston Kearney]

Everything is thumbs now.

[David Bore]

Everything is thumbs. Qwerty keyboard. And it makes us dumber. I talk so much dumber in the phone than I do even on a regular keyboard.

[Ali Sholatan]

So much dumber.

[David Bore]

I hate it.

[Ali Sholatan]

Cause I pride myself in being a very, like, eloquent young gentleman. I have two Nigerian parents, right. They wear it. You know, they're very proud of the way that we speak. And then when I'm on the phone, I'm like, I talk good. I don't know what's going on.

[David Bore]

You're using twos instead of to.

[Langston Kearney]

But everybody types like Tupac wrote poetry.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

But exactly.

[David Bore]

Yo, that's exactly it. That's exactly it.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's got the eye with the tears coming out, man.

[Langston Kearney]

Everything is remedial and no.

[Ali Sholatan]

And now it's so much worse because they've introduced stickers, and so now I don't even type in full responses. I'm just finding a sticker and just sending it.

[David Bore]

Stickers are fucked up, too.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, back in the cave times, and I'm drawing hieroglyphics.

[David Bore]

Stickers are fucked because now we're creating our own language, right? Like, I don't know. Do you guys have, like, secret stickers with, like, your partners or anything?

[Ali Sholatan]

I have some of the. Yes. Crazy stickers.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I got some crazy.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Yo, you sent me the craziest sticker because I told you about it.

[Langston Kearney]

You're. You're the reason I found out about stickers and how to do them. And you are. You have now opened up a vortex that. I have a collection that is dark.

[David Bore]

Same. Same.

[Ali Sholatan]

My shit's fucked up.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. I got a shameful collection of stickers.

[Ali Sholatan]

Well.

[David Bore]

Cause the first thing, I sent him a sticker, and he was like, hey, how'd you do that? And I told him, and then he. It took me.

[Langston Kearney]

You should say what the sticker was.

[David Bore]

Now I'm really learning.

[Langston Kearney]

He sent me the sticker of a Smurf naked, showing his booty.

[David Bore]

Wait, I thought that's what you sent me.

[Langston Kearney]

Oh, I. I don't know.

[David Bore]

I'm pretty sure that's what I sent you, Shemar.

[Langston Kearney]

No, you did.

[David Bore]

I sent you Shemar more. You're right. But you sent me a picture I think of Shemar. This is how we text you.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

You sent Me a picture of Shemar Moore. And I think I made it into a sticker.

[Langston Kearney]

That's right.

[David Bore]

And then you were like, hey, how you do that? And then you sent me immediately new to the text. He had to take it.

[Ali Sholatan]

So you just had it. You just had it.

[Langston Kearney]

That was a photo that I had.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay. It was just in the chat.

[David Bore]

He was like, oh, finally a shortcut. Finally. Blex was like, I've been thinking about.

[Langston Kearney]

How I could use this and now I understand it as a. As an art form.

[Ali Sholatan]

Ah, yeah.

[David Bore]

No stickers is the nasty art. It's art, but it's taken away all my. I don't respond to anybody. I very rarely respond. I give a straight up answer on the Internet so often it's like a sticker.

[Ali Sholatan]

I think Tim Cook is making us dumber and more reliant on iPhones. Like, that's it. And so between the stickers, between the keyboard sizes, you know, like, I will wear my tinfoil hat and run up and down Hollywood Boulevard screaming this.

[David Bore]

Nah, I'm with you, bro.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, I 100% buy into this.

[David Bore]

I will say, as someone who's been outside the standard sized finger community, ok, They're. They were never for big ass fingers. It's the best now it's ever been.

[Langston Kearney]

For fat fingers because of the big phone and.

[David Bore]

And just like the, like when it was just the keys. When the droid dropped. You guys remember when the droid dropped?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Bore]

Nigga was having a bad time.

[Langston Kearney]

You know, that was the hard buttons.

[David Bore]

The hard. Yeah, I remember with my little.

[Ali Sholatan]

My black be. I was just surfing on that.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, I was.

[David Bore]

Nice. No, you guys have. You guys are nimble. My shit was clunking. It wasn't ready for me.

[Ali Sholatan]

Damn.

[David Bore]

It's like the opposite.

[Ali Sholatan]

So Tim Cook is your savior is what I'm. Well, I guess Steve Jobs, you know.

[Langston Kearney]

Which white savior do you pick?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, who.

[David Bore]

I mean, overall time. Sure, sure. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

That's a fun game. I think this is a great game for us to play.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Like Jason Williams.

[Langston Kearney]

That's a good answer. White chocolate.

[David Bore]

White chocolate. It's really the one. The elbow pass, though, is really the only thing.

[Langston Kearney]

I watched a video very recently of him explaining the science behind the elbow pass.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said he rarely hit it though, right? Like he could just.

[Langston Kearney]

He said he used to be fucking up because he would pull the elbow back from up here.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

And that it wasn't until he learned to pull it back down here that he was able to make it actually precise. So he tried it multiple times in games and failed because he was up here with it.

[David Bore]

But anyways, Tom Hanks.

[Langston Kearney]

Tom Hanks.

[Ali Sholatan]

Good answer. Tom Hanks. That's number one.

[Langston Kearney]

Very good answer.

[Ali Sholatan]

How about you? I would say Eminem.

[Langston Kearney]

Eminem.

[Ali Sholatan]

Eminem, yeah.

[David Bore]

Number one.

[Ali Sholatan]

I mean, it's just like. Of all the white people, I feel like Eminem's just like a solid, good white person.

[David Bore]

You're crazy. That man is not going to save you.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, I see what you. Okay, okay. I thought. Okay, the answer is to save. All right, you know what? Your answer. And then we'll. Will come back to me.

[Langston Kearney]

I understand now.

[David Bore]

Yeah. I'm sorry, Mama. That's not.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, no, I see. I misunderstood the question. So we'll come back to me. We'll come back to me.

[Langston Kearney]

John Brown, that. That white man who murdered all the slave owner people.

[Ali Sholatan]

Deep cut.

[David Bore]

Oh, I thought you were talking about the guy who won the white rapper show.

[Langston Kearney]

He might have also had that same.

[David Bore]

His name was James John Brown.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wow. Deep cut, avid answers.

[Langston Kearney]

He's the only one that actually, like, pulled out a gun and was like.

[David Bore]

Oh, he, like. He, like, led the revolution. It was like a movement, though, right? Like, it wasn't just.

[Langston Kearney]

He was, like, going around killing people.

[David Bore]

Him and his sons. Yeah, yeah. That guy was crazy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Bernie Sanders.

[David Bore]

That's a good one. That's a good one.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't know if he's ever gonna win.

[Ali Sholatan]

But, hey, you know what, Mom? Donnie won. So I'll.

[David Bore]

You know, anything can happen.

[Ali Sholatan]

Anything can happen.

[David Bore]

New York, we up.

[Ali Sholatan]

You know what I'm saying? Like, come on. Are you from New York?

[David Bore]

No.

[Ali Sholatan]

Me either. I've never been more into New York.

[David Bore]

And Max B being freed, though, man, I might move. It feels like a good time for the city.

[Langston Kearney]

Brooklyn, you're feeling very Aki style.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of the things I say, a lot less harsh over there.

[Ali Sholatan]

100%.

[David Bore]

Racially, for sure.

[Ali Sholatan]

100%.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. You'd be welcome with open arms.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They like it over there.

[Ali Sholatan]

I do have another thing my mama told me that y' all are not prepared for at all. It just came out.

[Langston Kearney]

I'm excited.

[Ali Sholatan]

Can we go off script?

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, 100%. And this has been scripted this whole time?

[Ali Sholatan]

100%. Like every white. All of that you say? I tossed it over to him. You know, I think that bottle service was invented to keep black men down.

[David Bore]

Whoa.

[Ali Sholatan]

I really do. And let me. So when I became famous, like, you got bottle service? No, I didn't get it. What I'm saying was I became famous. There was sort of this understanding that everywhere I would go, like, it's like, bro, Ali, let's get a table. And I'd never really been to the club before, and so I was like, oh, bet. Yeah, I'm down to get a table. But no one would tell me how much the table would be.

[Langston Kearney]

It's crazy until the end of the.

[Ali Sholatan]

Night when someone, you know, when the really beautiful woman would come over and give me the receipt, and I'd be like, I'm so fucking sorry. This table was $2,000.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And then it was $600 a bottle.

[Ali Sholatan]

And $600 for a Casamigos bottle that I could get for 20 bucks at the liquor store.

[David Bore]

And then you gotta pay for the carafe of orange juice.

[Ali Sholatan]

And then I realized every single time I would go out, bottle service. You want to get a table? You want to get a table? And it only happened to me when I was with black people. And I think. I think that this is to keep the black man down.

[Langston Kearney]

You think that this is a type of. A type of thing that is only, think, social redlining.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kearney]

We're not even pitching this to white men.

[Ali Sholatan]

I don't even think white men get pitched the idea of paying $2,000 to rent a couch.

[David Bore]

I'm thinking about it now. I never heard. I never heard of a white guy again. Never seen a white guy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Who's your white savior again? Who's your white. Tom Hanks. You think when Tom Hanks goes to the club.

[David Bore]

I think Chet does, though.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay, Chet. Okay, maybe, but. Okay, fair.

[Langston Kearney]

And I think in that way, I appreciate Chet because of his commitment to black culture.

[Ali Sholatan]

You know what? I like that. But do you think Tom Hanks is being pitched. Hey, man, you want to pay $4,000 for this night out? No.

[David Bore]

I wonder if there is a fine dining equivalent, though. Is my. Like, do you think they're, like. They're. They're opening a bottle of wine for him? That's. Maybe. I. Nah, I don't.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't think they cop so many things for people at a certain level that I don't think. Like, I've certainly been with famous white people, and we've had, like, a separate room in a restaurant, Right?

[David Bore]

I've been. Yeah. Which I didn't even know that until.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

I didn't even know they had that secret room back then.

[Langston Kearney]

No, there's. Every restaurant apparently has a secret room, and it's a Better room than the restaurant.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's a way better room than any room you've ever. It smells better in this. So you guys see how we're describing a better experience, though? So it's like, yeah, even if they are opening a $10,000 bottle of wine for Tom Hanks, right? He is getting superior service. He's in a better room. Here I am in this crowded ass club on this dusty ass couch, loud as hell, right? I can't hear anything. People are drinking my $800 bottle of Taquilla. Did you see what I'm saying?

[David Bore]

No. I bought a bottle in the strip club before a few times. And like, you get pretty tight about, man. It's like you accumulate people where you're like, wait, who is that?

[Langston Kearney]

And it becomes. It creates this tension for you that shouldn't exist in the club.

[David Bore]

No, no.

[Langston Kearney]

The whole point of the club is to be in there and be like, everybody, let's party together. We are one. We are in sync. And instead you go, hey, hey, hey.

[Ali Sholatan]

Rope.

[Langston Kearney]

Rope.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because this couch cost me $2,000 for the three hours that I've been here. So I don't know why that came to my mind.

[David Bore]

I mean, I think it also depends on the club. Because I've been strip clubs in Houston, most affordable bottles I've ever dealt with in my life.

[Langston Kearney]

I think because it's.

[David Bore]

You can get a bottle of Crown in strip club, use it for like 150.

[Langston Kearney]

I think because it's a strip club culture, they're like, hey, this isn't as unique.

[David Bore]

This is.

[Langston Kearney]

Everybody does this.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was gonna say. So I've never had this experience at a strip club. I actually. I've never been to a strip club. One of these days I need a cup.

[Langston Kearney]

It's really nice.

[Ali Sholatan]

I heard it's really good.

[David Bore]

LA is not the place.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, really?

[David Bore]

For it.

[Langston Kearney]

La. Strip clubs are not the place.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wait, no, that's not true. That's not true. I have been to a strip club once. No, no, that's not true. I'm not going to tell that story, but I was taken to a strip club.

[Langston Kearney]

Damn, it was so good. You blacked it out.

[David Bore]

Damn, he's smiling though. He's smiling though.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, that lady sucked memory out of him.

[David Bore]

No, no more r.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was being. I just met the regular club. It's just what I meant. I saw like somebody regular. No, I just met like, so a homie had taken me to the strip club and I just really didn't want to be there. And then the Issue with me is I'm such a. Like, I'm the dad of my friend group, okay? So like, a homie of mine was going to the strip club. He's like, bro, you have to come with me. I was like, I really don't have to at all. And so I get there and he's like, bro, my card isn't working. Can you. I'll venmo you. Can you like, take. Can you take out the money from the atm?

[David Bore]

Nope.

[Ali Sholatan]

I'll venmo you.

[David Bore]

So it's like, this is how strip club trips get. This is how French fun.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was just so mad that that's why I forgot it, you know, I was just like, I'm so irritated by this experience. Yeah, but I should go to the strip club again with a good time.

[David Bore]

Peer pressure at the strip club is tough.

[Langston Kearney]

It's only fun if you are there with your own money and everybody is very aware of how much they're there for. And they're not going to be upset if they go past that number.

[David Bore]

I mean, but there is like. Cause like, I don't know, man. Once those lights hit me, it's like I'm a different guy.

[Langston Kearney]

But that's what I'm saying.

[David Bore]

I remember I went to the strip club. I had got. Just got my first real job maybe a month later. I hadn't even moved out of the crib into my new crib yet. And we went to the strip club. And Jack, I'm at the ATM and he comes up to me and in my ear like a devil, like a. Like a little. Like a Delilah, like a broccoli headed devil. He goes, I know Comedy Central paying you right now, if you spend less than $1,000, I'm telling everybody, N. And I spent $1,000.

[Langston Kearney]

Holy shit.

[Ali Sholatan]

I just want to be clear. So you hadn't moved out of. Where were you staying at the time?

[David Bore]

In the back room at Solomon Giorgio's house.

[Ali Sholatan]

And you were already supposed to strip club? Yeah.

[David Bore]

Oh, no, I had got the job. I just hadn't got, like five, okay. No, I had the dough, okay.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was like, come on, brother.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I had the dough either way.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's crazy, man.

[David Bore]

Yeah, he was a devil.

[Langston Kearney]

There was no way you were going there with $1,000 in mind.

[David Bore]

No, no, I was going there with 100 because I've been to the strip club broke before.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. I've always been like two to three. Yeah, that's good. That's where I'm at. 300, 190.

[Ali Sholatan]

But even still, I just like, man, I could buy, like, a good steak, meat.

[Langston Kearney]

No, it's dumb. It's really dumb. But then you're so in it. And you. You are so appreciative of the work that these fine ladies are doing.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, I support and small businesses.

[David Bore]

It's like, fuck it, the world's on fire. Let me throw a hundred in the air. It's like. It's not great, but it's like, I'm.

[Ali Sholatan]

Gonna try this one day, and I'm gonna report back, and I would really.

[David Bore]

Say you have to throw a thousand is what you should spend.

[Ali Sholatan]

I don't know if that is my ministry.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't think that you have to go in with a thousand as your intention. I only think you have to go in knowing that, like, if you exceed whatever number's in your head, you are.

[David Bore]

Okay, here's what I'll say. Get a thousand out.

[Ali Sholatan]

Remember when I said I was raised by two Nigerian parents?

[David Bore]

Listen, listen. Get a thousand out. So you have a thousand in your hand and just start and then put, like, half in your pocket.

[Ali Sholatan]

What are you doing to me, man?

[David Bore]

I will say it is. I'm trying to free you, brother.

[Langston Kearney]

The hardest part of the strip club is when you that dick. When you. That. But the hardest part of the strip club is when you run out of cash, and then you have to go to an ATM to get more cash. That is so deeply. Like you're at the ATM with a boner. It's. It's.

[David Bore]

It's a frantic.

[Langston Kearney]

It's weird.

[David Bore]

You do have to learn to control. Control yourself in that. Because that's when terrible decisions are made. Because that's what they. You get frenzied, and then people. That's how people spend all their money.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Remember how I started this by saying bottle service was invented to keep the black man down? I think that y' all are part of the conspiracy. Here's the thing. To keep a young black man down.

[David Bore]

I support female entrepreneurs, first of all. It's what I'm doing here. I'm putting people through college, and that's important. There's no titties at bottle service. There's only whispers, hints of titties. They sell you those bottles so maybe you could see some titties later. That's trash.

[Langston Kearney]

That is trash.

[David Bore]

That's trash.

[Langston Kearney]

They bring out a bunch of beautiful women who hold up sparklers that you didn't really want, and you're.

[Ali Sholatan]

No. It's loud. It's hot. It's burning hot.

[Langston Kearney]

They do this dance. It's getting on my clothes, this dance. But their faces are sad, so it's not even like they sell it.

[David Bore]

No, no, their faces don't like it.

[Langston Kearney]

Strippers sell the whole shebang, baby.

[David Bore]

Strippers are good to talk to.

[Langston Kearney]

They're nice.

[Ali Sholatan]

Are y' all pitching me the strip club right now?

[Langston Kearney]

They're nice.

[David Bore]

They're pitching me the strip club. Brothers.

[Langston Kearney]

Let's get out of here.

[Ali Sholatan]

I haven't gone, you know what?

[David Bore]

I haven't gone in a long time. Yes. Come on, guys, let's go to Atlanta.

[Ali Sholatan]

My mama told me, let's go to Atlanta and go to Magic City. Is that what it's called? All right.

[David Bore]

I like it weird. In Atlanta though, I'd be going to Claremont.

[Langston Kearney]

I've never done Atlanta strip club. Really? Yeah.

[David Bore]

Claremont is cool. It's like, it's the old ladies. Like, old.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wait, are you being deadass right now?

[David Bore]

I'm 100%.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, no. Like, you know him better than I do. Like, are you even 100% confident he's not dead at all?

[David Bore]

No, no. How old? How much money you got?

[Ali Sholatan]

Come on, man.

[Langston Kearney]

You gonna want a thousand for what.

[Ali Sholatan]

You like to see.

[David Bore]

Come on, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like. No, no, no, no, no. Like, like real talk. Reason with me here.

[David Bore]

I was in there one time. It was grandma's, for sure. Wow.

[Ali Sholatan]

And they're on the pole. They're like on. They're doing athletic things, they're running around.

[David Bore]

There's like one on the pole and then it's a weird. It's a weird spot.

[Ali Sholatan]

What took you there? What? Like what? Like I'm saying, like, did someone take you? Were you just.

[David Bore]

Yeah. A lot of people have rap. A lot. Cause you know, they shoot a lot in Atlanta. A lot of people do rap parties.

[Ali Sholatan]

I see.

[David Bore]

So the first time we wrapped shooting a pilot and I was like. I was in a. I'm gonna live forever. Yeah, let's go to the old lady strip club. I don't give a fuck. And then I just. It's just fun.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wow.

[David Bore]

Probably been there four other times.

[Langston Kearney]

That seems like it should be illegal to have a wrap party at a. At an old ladies strip club.

[David Bore]

Oh.

[Ali Sholatan]

I mean, but if you go to.

[David Bore]

Strip club, it's like a weird. It's like a we. I don't know. I think that like. Like certain cities too, that's like an HR violation.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[David Bore]

Well, there's certain cities, the strip clubs are a lot more acceptable than others. Houston in Atlanta and Miami in so.

[Langston Kearney]

Many places strip clubs are the club and they just happen to be naked women sort of like moving amongst you.

[David Bore]

And that's the vibe at Claremont for sure. It's not like. It's like going to a bar, like a packed bar.

[Ali Sholatan]

So it's kind of like a Hooters.

[Langston Kearney]

A little bit. Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Is it?

[David Bore]

If Hooters was busting that thang outfit. I see.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay. I've heard the wings of Hooters are great.

[Langston Kearney]

Hooters wasn't so much about taking a seat at the table as it is.

[David Bore]

About, like, Hooters to me, feels weirder.

[Ali Sholatan]

Hooters is 6 than the old lady strip club.

[David Bore]

100%. I agree with you 100%. 100%. Cause Hooters is like. It's more nasty in what they're implying. And the men there seem to be a lot. At least the old ladies. Strip club. Nah. Let me see it. We're doing this. Hooters is like a weird. Oh, my son's here. He wants the wings. It's like, ugh, get those. And I. I know it's like the vibe is nasty.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't like it at all at the strip club. I know you're making a decent wage for the service you're doing at Hooters.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah. Fair.

[Langston Kearney]

Hooters. You are naked for what we all agree is unfair prices.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Like the wing. This isn't a nice restaurant. They're not paying their waitstaff well. They're just.

[Ali Sholatan]

I just didn't know I'd come here today and have my mind fundamentally changed.

[David Bore]

Well, I think it's just like. It's just like what they want you to feel about these places, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

You know what I mean?

[David Bore]

Stay. You know who they are? Same ones. You're changing the size of the keyboards, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Come on. Tim Cook.

[David Bore]

Yeah, bro.

[Ali Sholatan]

And this goes all the way back to Tim Cook.

[Langston Kearney]

There we go, man. Perfect.

[Ali Sholatan]

Full circle.

[Langston Kearney]

I would say, to send us into a break. Okay, we should take a break. We have more to unpack. I'm very excited. More Ali.

[Ali Sholatan]

More.

[Langston Kearney]

My mama told me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it. Even in cold butter. Yep. Chocolate ice cream. Sure thing. Barbecue sauce. Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be. Tide want Black Friday prices without the crowds. Lowe's gets it. Shop their early Black Friday deals and beat the rush. $99 is all you need to grab a select 7 foot pre lit artificial Christmas tree for the holidays. And don't sweat what gifts to get dad. They have up to 40% off select tools and accessories going on now. That's how Lowes celebrates Black Friday. Early selection varies by location while supplies last. There's nothing like sinking into luxury. Anabe sofas combine ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price. Annabe has designed the only fully machine washable sofa. From top to bottom, the stain resistant performance fabric slipcovers and cloud like frame duvet can go straight into your wash. Perfect for anyone with kids, pets or anyone who loves an easy to clean spotless sofa. With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style. Whether you need a single chair, loveseat or a luxuriously large sectional, Annabe has you covered. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home. Sofas start at just $699 and right now get early access to Black Friday savings up to 60% off store wide with a 30 day money back guarantee. Shop [e-mail] Add a little to your life. Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Ali Sholatan]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you a gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half the price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means half day. Yeah, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow 135 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com.

[David Bore]

My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger. That's because Jesus Christ is money. I'm a Jehovah's Witness. Welcome back.

[Ali Sholatan]

When you watch that video, he really didn't think he was doing anything wrong.

[David Bore]

I think he was truly trying to outreach.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, like he really, he really thought. But he was like, man, this is my ministry. I will reach the young black and brown youth by saying Jesus Christ is my nigga.

[David Bore]

Or he thought he had bars and it was gonna go. He was like, this shit might, you know, we put it on. We get it on Dap Pier. We get it on Dap here.

[Langston Kearney]

This might go crazy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Maybe Charlamagne will.

[David Bore]

Have me on his show.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. He's like, nah, this might be something.

[David Bore]

Yeah, maybe we move out. Maybe we move out. Maybe we don't live in Jackson next summer. Maybe we don't live in Jackson no more.

[Langston Kearney]

Maybe we live in Jackson Heights.

[Ali Sholatan]

I feel for him. I really, like. I think he's a good guy. I think he's a good guy who really. He had good intentions.

[David Bore]

I think there's worse guys who have said it in a song on the Internet. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

I've felt that way sometimes. I felt that way a little bit with that teacher who was. Can you lend a nigga a pencil?

[Ali Sholatan]

Can you lend a nigga a pencil? Oh, the one that they did a Boondocks episode on.

[David Bore]

That man who had been pushed to the brink.

[Ali Sholatan]

I really felt really frustrating.

[David Bore]

You know what's crazy is, like, when I think about that, I think about. I had an 8th grade math teacher. Yeah. And he. Not that, but he, like. It was just. You know how some classes just had all the worst kids?

[Langston Kearney]

Yep.

[David Bore]

Yeah. He just fucked up and had one of those. And, like, it was just. It was just every day. Every day. And one day he just freaked out. And he was like, I don't understand how no one does homework. You can remember all these rap lyrics. You can remember all these R. Kelly songs, like. Cause it was when I Wish came out, and he was, like, going crazy. Cause everybody was always just singing shit in his class. And I just like. And, like, he didn't say it, but.

[Ali Sholatan]

He came so close.

[David Bore]

He was actively thinking it, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Did y' all ever read, like, in English class? Did your teachers ever read those books that had the N word in it? Of course. And they would just say it.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

And it was those things of, like, I have to say it for this class.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

And it's like, do you really have to.

[Langston Kearney]

You don't have to say it, do you?

[David Bore]

Not at all.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, do we have to say it? No, we actually really don't. I think it's so fine. We can all read it. We know what it sounds like, bro.

[Langston Kearney]

There are so many books now that can teach us the same lessons as Huckleberry Finn, man. You know what I mean?

[David Bore]

But he was the greatest humorist.

[Ali Sholatan]

We can still read Huckleberry Finn. Do we have to read it out loud in class? Cause here's what would then happen. It's like every time we would get to, you know, the Huckleberry Finn passage where something, something, something, and N this. And for some, everyone would just slowly look at me. Just like, so, like, bro, the fact.

[David Bore]

That that's engineered into the public schooling system is so disgusting.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

The fact that like a kid can be othered in that way. Like the fact that it's just like in the criteria, that setup of it not being fair and then you expect people to trust this system.

[Langston Kearney]

But that's what I mean about. I get it. That we should be honoring parts of our history.

[David Bore]

Right.

[Langston Kearney]

That Mark Twain represents an essential part of American storytelling. But I don't think that you can that there. I don't think the only way to access Mark Twain and his essentialness is through Nigger Jim. Correct. That there are so many other points of access.

[David Bore]

He wrote a lot of stuff.

[Langston Kearney]

He wrote a lot of stuff. So much so that we've named hundreds of awards after him. He was a brilliant thinker in so many ways. And they keep locking in on this racist shit being like, it's, it's ironic. It's complicated. It is. Yeah. And it's not. It just is the one y' all like because you want to keep us other in a classroom.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. They love an uneven fight.

[Ali Sholatan]

Let me tell you why people saying the N word. Why people saying the N word has defined so much of my career. Let me tell you something. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

It's great. And then they put you in this crazy position because they teach it when you're 14 years old. I don't even know how to talk back to grown ups.

[Ali Sholatan]

And that was the funny thing. It's like I don't even know how to express the feelings that I like, I don't even know how to say how I feel about this.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because I don't necessarily know if it's my place to my man.

[David Bore]

It's a terrorist act, man. It's not even a micro. That's a macro aggression, bro. That shit is like, it's truly like to not ever have looked at the curriculum or thought about how it's just like I can't even fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

You making me do UFC level fighting.

[David Bore]

And I'm in school. I'm not even supposed to, I'm not even supposed to speak out against the. You know what I mean?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

This is.

[David Bore]

You're a teacher at school that as a kid. It's like my parents and you.

[Langston Kearney]

You're one of seven ladies I trust, bro. I, I, that's the whole premise here is that you are a guide for my future. And then you're like, I, I have to say the N word in front of Me.

[Ali Sholatan]

And on top of that, there's a cemetery down the street that I have to go look at.

[David Bore]

And people are in there.

[Ali Sholatan]

Get off the.

[David Bore]

And that's why I quit school and went to the Claremont lounge. That's my DeVry.

[Langston Kearney]

I got my education from Claremont Lounge University.

[David Bore]

I got my degree. I got my certificate in Fry Repair.

[Langston Kearney]

I like the. You're like, certificate.

[David Bore]

I got my certificate. But, you know.

[Langston Kearney]

Ali, one of the things that I looked up upon seeing your conspiracy is this question of whether or not the keyboard size changes. And while I can't necessarily immediately find a bunch of stuff about that, what I did find is a bunch of people complaining specifically about the autocorrect function going haywire. And one of the things that they talk about is that iPhone specifically has been using autocorrect and merging in AI technology to make up for what they can't do via autocorrect. That basically they're worried that, like, autocorrect has reached a point now where it's not just fixing grammatical errors.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

It's also clocking whether or not you meant to say what you're saying in a sentence.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, right. So it's like, oh, I'm gonna be right back. Be right. It's assuming my next thing is gonna be back instead of there.

[Langston Kearney]

Yes. And at times, if you were to put in a wrong thing. Right. That. Like, if it. You said fuck instead of duck or vice versa. Autocorrect is meant to be able to clock. Hey, that is not. And they're saying that only AI could have that level of, like, man. Oversight over the language. And to your point, they are basically using us as sort of a training ground for this artificial intelligence, man.

[David Bore]

We can't write. We lose all agency. That's like the end. That's like the. That's the. That's the end. That's it, man. That's how the. Like, that's how. That's how they got people before. And then the printing press came out or whatever, and they're like, oh, my God, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, that's, like, so nasty on such a. Such a human level.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. And they're saying the technology as it currently stands is not actually that. That strong. So part of the reason people are complaining about it. This article came out November 1st of this year, literally last week. See, man, this is right now.

[Ali Sholatan]

Look, I'm. I'm on the phones. I'm going to Kyle she.com right now after this, and I'm placing some Crazy prediction bet. I don't know.

[Langston Kearney]

One of the things that people are complaining about is like their iPhone is giving them incorrect autocorrect. And basically what this article is talking about is the idea that Apple. Apple is constantly updating, trying to fix the AI, the autocorrect, but they're using the data that they're collecting from its failures to do it correctly in order to get it more correct. Basically, we are guinea pigs for teaching the artificial intelligence to talk for us.

[David Bore]

So what do you mean every. Every place you spend time online now.

[Ali Sholatan]

Honestly, anything that's free, it's on the product.

[Langston Kearney]

But.

[Ali Sholatan]

So what do you think is the point? Because I think the reason why it's being done is to keep us hooked on iPhone. What do y' all think?

[David Bore]

I mean, I think tech in general, I don't know. I guess maybe specifically iPhones, but I think just hooked on the tech in general. Like, if it. Bro, if we can't write, you can't even communicate without this thing now it becomes even more of a necessity than it already is. Right.

[Langston Kearney]

I think we're in the middle of an artificial intelligence arms race.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

And I think that across the globe, everybody, that's what every argument war right now is about. China specifically. The beef that the US has with China is that they are holding precious metals that are used for advancing some of these technologies. All the while, China is trying to buy certain technologies from the US That Trump is being like, nah, you can't have it unless you give us our shit. It's just people fighting over ways to create artificial intelligence. And I think Apple, a leader in technology.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Is trying to be like, no, we will be. We're gonna use and we're just gonna.

[Ali Sholatan]

Train our AI on just stuff that everyone.

[David Bore]

It's where all the type. It's where all the money's going. I was just reading about how there's a major transfer of wealth from like traditional blue chip stocks and stuff like that over to like, data mining and all kinds of shit.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Like, it's like, that's, like that's. That's the most precious resource.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, man.

[Langston Kearney]

It's nasty.

[Ali Sholatan]

This was supposed to be a funny conspiracy. This is not really harrowing.

[David Bore]

This happens a lot.

[Langston Kearney]

It's a bummer.

[David Bore]

We'll start and we'll be like, what a good time we're having. And then Langston will be like, actually, I did some research. It's true. And then we just gotta, like, kinda, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because I was like, you know, this is a conspiracy. It's kind of fun, you know what I'm saying? Like a little quirky.

[Langston Kearney]

You want to hear something even sadder?

[Ali Sholatan]

Why not? You're gonna tell me anyway.

[Langston Kearney]

Let's take it a step further.

[David Bore]

His eyes are.

[Ali Sholatan]

His eyes lit up.

[David Bore]

This is his Christmas.

[Langston Kearney]

I told you to leave, man. Brother, I gave you your out. You did.

[Ali Sholatan]

You did.

[Langston Kearney]

Before we even started. I said, hey, man, get out of here.

[David Bore]

That's real. You got a hit show, dog. What are you doing? You don't need to be over here, bro. We're doomed. This is not going to end good for us. I act up, he act up.

[Ali Sholatan]

I got problems, man, but think about it. If I can navigate this flawlessly, bro, PR training is gonna be out of this world.

[Langston Kearney]

It's gonna be crazy.

[Ali Sholatan]

So if I don't get canceled after this, then I'm good.

[Langston Kearney]

Congrats, man.

[David Bore]

Hey, man, you're dancing with the devil. That's all I'm saying.

[Ali Sholatan]

So you know what?

[David Bore]

I guess it's better to be good at it than bad at it, right?

[Ali Sholatan]

At the risk of whatever it is you're gonna say, nobody take me he. At the risk of whatever it is you're gonna say.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

What's the worst part?

[Langston Kearney]

The worst part is it got me thinking about how there has been this, like, a lot of pushback. Maybe you guys have seen it online of AI, Specifically of black people.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

They are using black people. Is like a big black lady falling off a buffet table and she's like.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, look at what black people do.

[David Bore]

Or those AI influencers.

[Ali Sholatan]

It.

[Langston Kearney]

It is this weird sort of. Yeah. And they speak with like, ebonics and.

[David Bore]

The girls got braces.

[Langston Kearney]

They are. They are doing so much work to reinsert narratives about the black identity back at us via AI. And I think some of the way that they are building that technology is by using elements of what they collect via via auto corrects.

[David Bore]

Now it's like, so everybody has their profile, right? And they sell the. So they know exactly who's saying what.

[Langston Kearney]

Yep.

[David Bore]

So they can like, oh, this is what black people talk like, let's have them fall down at a buffet.

[Langston Kearney]

This is what we think you'll like.

[Ali Sholatan]

Man, I want to go back to talking about fucking in cemeteries, man.

[David Bore]

Like, this really.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's really hurting.

[David Bore]

We gotta get you into a strip club.

[Ali Sholatan]

Well, specifically, what? Claremont.

[Langston Kearney]

The Claremont Lounge.

[David Bore]

I mean, I think there's a lot of places you can go for old women.

[Ali Sholatan]

Ah.

[David Bore]

For young. What do you like?

[Langston Kearney]

Young or old?

[Ali Sholatan]

I like regular. My aged women. This is what I want to say.

[David Bore]

This is a PR exercise.

[Ali Sholatan]

I like regular aged women.

[David Bore]

You don't value older women in the workplace. I understand that.

[Ali Sholatan]

Is 27 okay, respectable for me to be attracted to Gen Z. Gen Z, Difficult women.

[Langston Kearney]

Gen Z, they're cowards. They don't want to.

[David Bore]

They don't want to support small old women.

[Langston Kearney]

They don't want to see what a woman really looks like.

[David Bore]

Yeah. You don't want to see the scars.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. They want to see this fantasy of a woman that.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, it's not a fantasy. Like women my age are real.

[Langston Kearney]

No, they are. I disagree.

[David Bore]

Women as real as the old one, I'll tell you that right now.

[Langston Kearney]

I think they think they're real.

[Ali Sholatan]

Women my age 22 through 30, I think two are real.

[Langston Kearney]

Real life hasn't put a hurting on them just yet. And that's when a woman becomes a woman.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

And so the way. I just want to be clear, what my instruction is, is the way I can find a real woman is to exclusively go to strip clubs with older women.

[Langston Kearney]

Brother, I don't think you gonna find it in this. I don't think you gonna find it in this.

[David Bore]

Yeah, boy.

[Langston Kearney]

Man.

[David Bore]

Hey. Hey.

[Ali Sholatan]

Man.

[David Bore]

This was complicated. This was also complicated. We had two complicated episodes today.

[Langston Kearney]

We need to take one more break.

[David Bore]

Yeah, we got a voicemail.

[Langston Kearney]

We should do a voicemail together. More, Ali. More. My mama told me.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Want Black Friday prices without the crowds? Lowe's gets it. Shop their early Black Friday deals and beat the rush. $99 is all you need to grab a select 7 foot pre lit artificial Christmas tree for the holidays. And don't sweat what gives to get dad? They have up to 40% off select tools and accessories going on now. That's how Lowes celebrates Black Friday. Early selection varies by location while supplies last. Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? Wash away your worries with Annabe. Annabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out where designer quality meets budget friendly prices. That's right. Sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly stain resistant and changeable slip covers made with performance fabric. Experience cloud like comfort with high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Shop washablesofas.com for early Black Friday savings up to 60% off site wide backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return, shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back. Upgrade [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Ali Sholatan]

Spin Quest Social Casino. It's Thanksgiving time. The turkey's hot and the family's loud. Instead of football, play a different game on your phone. Live dealer blackjack, crafts and slots.

[Langston Kearney]

Play anytime, anywhere. Spinquest.com this Thanksgiving, gobble up a 30 coin pack for just $10.

[Ali Sholatan]

Come play today.

[David Bore]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited.

[Langston Kearney]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

It's finally here. Black Friday at ulta Beauty. Take 30% off Mac foundations and lip colors. Save $100 on the iconic Dyson airwrap. And starting Tuesday, shop mascaras for $14 and lip colors for $12. Perfect for stocking up. To make it super easy, shop online and pick up in store or get same day delivery. Head into Ulta Beauty and shop. Black Friday deals now through November 29th. Ulta Beauty Gifting happens here.

[Ali Sholatan]

Hello.

[David Bore]

How are you? I am under the water. Please help me here.

[Ali Sholatan]

Too much raining.

[David Bore]

Starring in the Michael Jackson movie. No, we're back. We're doing an email.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, we have a voicemail. Joel, our lovely producer, new producer, Chicago's own Chicago Zone.

[David Bore]

Loves the movie Barbershop.

[Langston Kearney]

Loves Barbershop. Stands by it, guarantees it.

[David Bore]

Loves a gay with a switchblade.

[Langston Kearney]

She said.

[David Bore]

I guess we didn't talk about any of that on camera.

[Langston Kearney]

No.

[David Bore]

I don't know why I would say that.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, you set us up. But that's okay.

[David Bore]

This was confusing.

[Langston Kearney]

Joelle sent us some voicemails that you all have sent. And she begged me, she said, do the love and basketball one, please. And I am no person to turn down a bet.

[David Bore]

So you ever get something to love and basketball?

[Langston Kearney]

No.

[David Bore]

What?

[Langston Kearney]

I don't think so. That's not true. I've made out with girls.

[David Bore]

I don't mean you.

[Langston Kearney]

I wasn't getting some. I think when love and basketball, I.

[David Bore]

Mean, but you ever put it on to kiss a woman?

[Langston Kearney]

100%.

[David Bore]

You ever got something to love in basketball?

[Ali Sholatan]

You know what's crazy? So we've talked about.

[David Bore]

You never made out?

[Ali Sholatan]

I never kissed a woman in my life. Take me home, baby. So I grew up in Nigeria, so there's so many, like, classic black films that I never. I just never seen. Like, I watched Stomp the Yard for the first time.

[David Bore]

Oh, whoa.

[Ali Sholatan]

Three months ago, bro.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

I was really, really sad when Chris Brown died. Cause I was told he Was in so much of that movie. He was. Was not in that much of the movie at all. But.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, no, he's in the first five.

[Ali Sholatan]

He's in the first five.

[David Bore]

I was just.

[Ali Sholatan]

It was marketed to me as he was in the whole movie. He went crazy in that five years, man.

[David Bore]

Yeah, out of this world.

[Ali Sholatan]

But so I actually haven't seen love in basketball.

[David Bore]

Wait, so you grew up in Nigeria? What city?

[Ali Sholatan]

Lagos.

[David Bore]

What year were you born?

[Ali Sholatan]

98.

[David Bore]

What year did you get here?

[Ali Sholatan]

I got here in 2008.

[David Bore]

Can I ask you a song? The Nigerian song I've been trying to place?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yes.

[David Bore]

Oh, man. It's called Danfo Driver. I am a Downfall driver Swole CBDB Downfall Driver, bro.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wait, this is like, deep.

[David Bore]

Deep. It was such a hit when I was in Africa and I can't find it anywhere.

[Ali Sholatan]

Downfall. Because Downfall is like our buses.

[David Bore]

Yeah. We call it Podopodo, but you call it Damfo. Who's we in Sierra Leone?

[Ali Sholatan]

We call it Sierra Leone.

[David Bore]

Okay. We call it Poda Poda. But the song was like. It was like everywhere. And I can't. But he's Ayama donvo driveway.

[Ali Sholatan]

But you can't find it. You know, I'm good at. When I get home, I ask my parents.

[David Bore]

Okay. And he says all the places that he goes in the downfall. He's like. Like, Oju Elegba.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oju Elegba.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Wow.

[David Bore]

And then he says, in the ghetto every day. I was born in the ghetto. It's such a good song. Can't remember, can't find it for the light.

[Ali Sholatan]

You know I'm gonna find it When.

[David Bore]

I would really appreciate it. I don't know if any of you guys. But yeah, it was. You remember the.

[Ali Sholatan]

I am Adan Fujaiba. And I don't know why this is.

[David Bore]

Well, to me, Dan Fujayiba. It was a huge hit.

[Ali Sholatan]

I can't tell if I actually remember this or if, like, you're imprinting a memory in my brain. Live right now.

[David Bore]

It was a huge Nigerian hit. I know that.

[Langston Kearney]

The only black, Black American hit about the bus is Double Dutch Bus.

[David Bore]

That's a good one, though.

[Ali Sholatan]

Coming down the street.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

We're moving pretty. That's your better show. We're talking about from.

[David Bore]

Wait, what?

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, the hit Raven Simone Martin Lawrence movie.

[David Bore]

Brother, we gotta watch the movies. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Ali Sholatan]

We were talking about. Look up what I'm talking.

[David Bore]

I thought we're talking about Rosie is a play Disapple.

[Ali Sholatan]

Desert. I'm pretty sure.

[David Bore]

I think this is different. Raven Simone has nothing to do with.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, Raven Symone was in a movie.

[Langston Kearney]

I bet.

[Ali Sholatan]

Where they were in a bus. I. I believe that double dutch bus running down the street.

[David Bore]

I think this might be a movie about double Dutch.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, it's College Road. They were. They were singing this song.

[Langston Kearney]

Well, no, it wasn't this song, because what you just did. I didn't care for that.

[David Bore]

Yeah, that was different. I didn't. I didn't love it. This guy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay, I'll take down the street.

[David Bore]

I.

[Ali Sholatan]

Moving pretty fast. So bad. Literally. What are you talking about?

[Langston Kearney]

You're singing it like a Disney star.

[David Bore]

Yeah, you got Disney man. You gotta sing it in my car.

[Langston Kearney]

You gotta sing it like the creepiest man that ever was.

[Ali Sholatan]

I understand now in real time, what happened was in this movie, they did a cover of that song.

[Langston Kearney]

There we go.

[Ali Sholatan]

And Raven Symone sang it like a Disney star, which she was, so. That's my memory of that song, brother.

[Langston Kearney]

This man is wearing that.

[Ali Sholatan]

That.

[David Bore]

I don't even know what he looks like. And somehow I knew exactly what he looked like. I knew he had a turquoise T shirt on. He got on a.

[Langston Kearney]

A blazer and a T shirt.

[Ali Sholatan]

I've never heard the original.

[Langston Kearney]

And a fedora. This is a.

[Ali Sholatan]

What year was this?

[David Bore]

Oh, it's before even our time. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

This is like the 70s, I think.

[Ali Sholatan]

Damn.

[Langston Kearney]

This is a very old song.

[David Bore]

You know what song you should listen to after you listen to that?

[Langston Kearney]

Is the Butt.

[David Bore]

I was listening to that song this weekend.

[Langston Kearney]

That's a great.

[David Bore]

Such a good song. Doing the Butt. Sexy. Sexy. I don't see nothing wrong when you want a little butt all night long. And in the end, they just say, girls, you got big butts. Theresa got a big old butt. Stacey got a big old butt.

[Langston Kearney]

It's you. It was twerking before. It was like.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, I see.

[Langston Kearney]

It's like how they point to those old, like, Sugar Hill Gang, and they say that's the first rap song.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

This is the first time a lady turned around and showed us ass.

[Ali Sholatan]

Man. How old were y' all when. When that happened?

[David Bore]

Well, I first was aware.

[Langston Kearney]

I hate how old you think we are.

[David Bore]

That is tough. That is tough. I don't love it.

[Langston Kearney]

You keep returning this as if. My nigga. This was. This was a song from when people, like, pushed cars with horses. They didn't even pull them yet. They pushed them. And you think. You think this is of my childhood. You're being rude, Ali.

[Ali Sholatan]

You're being rude. I didn't know what this song.

[Langston Kearney]

Talk to me like a man.

[David Bore]

He did think we were doing the play.

[Ali Sholatan]

I didn't know when this song came out. So I was like, I don't know. Must have been in 1924 when you guys were in high school.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't know.

[David Bore]

Is brutal.

[Langston Kearney]

This sucks, man.

[David Bore]

But also, I saw the butt in. It was in school days, man. And they made it look, man. When we the black college media when we were kids was school days. The baby, baby, baby video a different world. And this is also maybe. Cause my mom was in college when I was a kid, so I remember it. But they made black college look like though. I don't think there was another time that focused on that in media.

[Langston Kearney]

I think I didn't understand because my mom also went to college while I was a kid, and I didn't understand why her college wasn't fun.

[David Bore]

That's city College.

[Langston Kearney]

Why? How come yours ain't like the one?

[Ali Sholatan]

I heard you guys don't have dorms, Ma.

[David Bore]

Yeah, where's Whitley? Yeah, where's Whitley?

[Langston Kearney]

You don't got no cool vibes with anybody. You just drive here and then no varsity jackets.

[Ali Sholatan]

My. That's funny.

[Langston Kearney]

I'm sitting in these classes with you.

[David Bore]

I'm not having any fun, man. Do you remember being a little kid on campus? How weird that is, though?

[Langston Kearney]

I used to literally sit in the back of a classroom while I was.

[David Bore]

Like, sometimes we relate on really wild shit.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

I used to go to daycare on campus and my mom was always having parties and shit like that. So I'd be outside at daycare and students would walk past and be like, what up, crazy? I really always been a pretty cool guy. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

They're like, nah, that's a cool baby.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will do.

[David Bore]

I was like eating boogers. But then I think it was weird to explain to the teacher, like, why I'm friends with adults.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, yeah, that's fair. No, it's a bummer.

[Ali Sholatan]

And now you go to the strip club with old women. So I actually think that that was formatively important.

[David Bore]

I think you're very missing a lot of steps. I think you don't understand the strip club with old women.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, I do. I'm saying you told me this story and now I get it. No, I'm not.

[David Bore]

We got it. We gotta get it.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, brother, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know it sounds like a supporting you. No, bro, like, I get it. You spent a lot of time on a College campus as a kid. And so now it's just. Think about it, the age difference between you and the women spitting out you throughout your life.

[David Bore]

I have always liked some older shit.

[Ali Sholatan]

See?

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. He's saying you. You kept your peer group the whole time.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

He said you were the same woman.

[Ali Sholatan]

You was looking at back then.

[David Bore]

Mom's age, though.

[Langston Kearney]

They're T.J. henderson of pussy. You're the smart guy.

[David Bore]

Did it. Get it? Smart guy, The dj.

[Langston Kearney]

I think we all get it. Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, I have not seen love in basketball.

[Langston Kearney]

Okay.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it's a great. Omar Epps. Sanaa Lathan.

[Langston Kearney]

Sanaa Lathan.

[Ali Sholatan]

I'm making my way through the black classics right now. So it's.

[David Bore]

I'm moving.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's fun.

[Langston Kearney]

It's the All State guy's greatest performance.

[David Bore]

Dennis Haysbert. Yeah. Yeah, I met him one time.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah? How was he?

[David Bore]

Man, you mean, you know when you meet a dude where you're like, oh, you're a dude in a different way than I'll probably ever be a dude? Like, he was just like. Didn't want to talk to me. He was like. They introduced me. He was like, Hayes. He didn't even say Dennis or Hay. He just said Hayes.

[Langston Kearney]

Oh, he's got his own nickname.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Damn.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Cool guy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Tough.

[Langston Kearney]

Damn. Well, we have a loving basketball conspiracy. I. I think you'll find your way through this.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay. No, I'll figure it out. And if not, y' all will explain the plot to me.

[Langston Kearney]

It might be more fun that you don't know what you're talking about.

[David Bore]

Sure.

[Ali Sholatan]

My goodness. I was not expecting for the voicemail message to be that, but.

[Langston Kearney]

Oh, pause for one second. We have a voicemail. Outgoing like we acted up, but we.

[David Bore]

Don'T quite remember what remember I said.

[Langston Kearney]

And we're never gonna go back and listen to it.

[David Bore]

But not calling my own voice.

[Langston Kearney]

But we apparently did the wrong thing and now we get big reactions from people about what we did.

[David Bore]

I think we told them to say something nasty or something like that.

[Langston Kearney]

I think I even did the voice modulator and made.

[David Bore]

Oh, man, we gotta bring that back.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wow.

[Langston Kearney]

Okay, we made a mistake. She's reacting to that.

[Ali Sholatan]

Don't worry about it. It's all good.

[Langston Kearney]

Don't let it throw you off.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, no, no. I'm locked in. Say the podcast. I said to call in with your conspiracy theory. It's not really a conspiracy theory, but I do not think love and basketball is a love movie. It's actually a horror film is a dunked on me with a torn ACL that I would make him scared to jump every for the rest of his life.

[David Bore]

Pause.

[Ali Sholatan]

He would have gotten straight.

[David Bore]

First of all, we got a Hooper. Yeah, I think we need to acknowledge that right now.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

So the plot of love and Basketball. He tears an acl and I'm assuming in the final moments of the game, he, like, he wins by dunking.

[David Bore]

They're best friends slash basketball players.

[Langston Kearney]

They are childhood best friends. Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps go to high school together, who are competitive in basketball as children and then fall in.

[David Bore]

Love with each other and they both go to usc.

[Ali Sholatan]

Beautiful.

[Langston Kearney]

And they are both, like, equally.

[David Bore]

And they went to Crenshaw. Is that the high school?

[Langston Kearney]

I believe so. But they're both, like, equally elite in the sport.

[Ali Sholatan]

Incredible.

[Langston Kearney]

She is amazing. He is amazing. They are both on track to become professional basketball players.

[David Bore]

But the landscape for women's basketball was not what it. That needs to be said.

[Langston Kearney]

It wasn't what it is. And she was having more setbacks than he was, and he sort of, like, was ascending faster and more successfully. And then the relationship starts to hit the rocks because of the complexities of, like, both. Like, you are. You are not paying attention to me, you are not wanting me, but also, we are still in love with each other and not sure what to do with that. And then that's where this sort of iconic play me for what? My heart or your heart?

[Ali Sholatan]

I see, I see, I see. That's really romantic.

[David Bore]

It's beautiful, man. And it's Sanaa. It's top. Sanaa.

[Langston Kearney]

It's Sanaa at her best. And she.

[David Bore]

Omar. Omar too top. Pretty top. I think the wood is top.

[Langston Kearney]

He's my favorite, for sure.

[David Bore]

But second, for sure.

[Ali Sholatan]

So then what is the dunking with the acl? When does that.

[Langston Kearney]

So at one point, she is hurt. I believe it's that. Is it that she tore her ACL or he tore his acl?

[David Bore]

No, she tore her acl. And then she was like, out, right?

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. And then that's when she wants to play him and he fully, like, busts her ass.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, he just, like, doesn't hold back. Like, he just plays as if she's fully treated.

[David Bore]

You gotta go to the league, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Man, your girl is right here. She's like, bro, I wanna love you and you just gotta go to the league. I actually fully agree with her. That is a horror story.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. No, he plays her like.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, this is like game six of the. Of the NBA Finals.

[David Bore]

You could have also just said, no.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, nah, I'm good.

[David Bore]

You're hurt.

[Langston Kearney]

I'm not good.

[Ali Sholatan]

Here's actually how it. No. So it is a horror story.

[David Bore]

She is hurt. She is hurt.

[Langston Kearney]

I think it says she's hurt. I don't remember.

[David Bore]

I haven't seen it in a couple years.

[Langston Kearney]

But I'm pretty sure one of them is hurt. And they both like. He plays all out and busts her ass.

[Ali Sholatan]

No.

[David Bore]

Cause she's hurt. Cause that's like all she's got, right? Yeah. That's why she's like, playing me for it.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Here's how I know it is a horror story. So I didn't. Like I said, I grew up in Nigeria. Hoop. Growing up, right? Soccer.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like great soccer players.

[Langston Kearney]

Sex and soccer, a famous Nigerian film.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wait, actually, I've never heard of one. No, I said sex and soccer. What do you love about. Took me a second. I didn't get there. I didn't get there. I'm there now. Sex and Soccer. Great movie, but I'm learning how to.

[David Bore]

You should think of. We should all think about, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

Cuz like, talk about putting the ball in the net.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Hold on one second. I just realized you could flip all the hood movies in Africa, man.

[Langston Kearney]

100%.

[David Bore]

There's gotta be somebody in Nigeria who's.

[Ali Sholatan]

Got this out of the podcast. Because you are stealing millions of dollars from our pockets.

[Langston Kearney]

That's fair. Stop it.

[David Bore]

Nigerian Friday is gonna send all our kids to Friday. What'd you call it?

[Ali Sholatan]

Let me tell you. Stomp the Village. It's gonna go hard, bro.

[David Bore]

Oh, my God.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, my God, man.

[David Bore]

Nigerian belly, man. Bro, Nigerian belly would be insane.

[Langston Kearney]

They do have real big bellies.

[David Bore]

Yes.

[Ali Sholatan]

Bro. What do you think? Who's gonna play African Medea, bro? Like, let me tell you, that's where it gets nasty.

[Langston Kearney]

I think we gotta be optimistic first and stay in. Stay in a certain level. Because once we get to African Madea, that's when we're.

[David Bore]

They're also already making movies like that.

[Langston Kearney]

They're making.

[David Bore]

Yo. There's already content.

[Ali Sholatan]

Let me tell you. Nollywood is spectacular. Like, I think as a kid, I used to, like, take a lot of. You know, I would make fun of it, but it. African cinema is incredible. We have some of the most cameras caught up. Filmmakers. No. Cause that's really what happened. The technology caught up. You realize that the only thing that's stopping so many of these brilliant, brilliant filmmakers is literally just resources, right? They understand story. They have the talent. They have the ability. It's just. Just being able to get an FX3 in Africa.

[David Bore]

And I think we should have more witches in our movies.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[David Bore]

Yeah, that's what I think.

[Langston Kearney]

I think we don't acknowledge how much camp is a credible, viable art form and how much that the African people making film and television are aware of it as part of the culture, rather than being, like. We pretend like they're being victims of their own artistic choices. And it's not that.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's like, here are the limitations of the technology. I think it just makes more sense. You know, let's go a little campy with it. Let's just, you know, let's draw the lightning bolt. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kearney]

We're being silly Billy. That's okay.

[David Bore]

So, hey, you guys heard it here first. The Jacksons, the Nigerian story.

[Ali Sholatan]

So.

[Langston Kearney]

You'Re not gonna believe what Joseph Beats Michael with.

[David Bore]

It is gonna blow your mind.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, my God.

[David Bore]

Yo, yo, yo. Coming to America.

[Ali Sholatan]

Reverse.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Going to Nigeria. I'm calling Eddie Murphy, right?

[David Bore]

Somebody's gotta call him.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, I'm calling him right after.

[David Bore]

Get him on the horn, man.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And so.

[Ali Sholatan]

So I'm learning basketball right now. So I'm learning basketball right now. And, like, I go, yeah, a lot of fun. Really, really hard sport. Let me tell you. My goal. My goal is to play at the NBA All Star celebrity game.

[David Bore]

Okay. Glad you kept going.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like. Yeah, no, not at the NBA. I know I'm really tall, but my goal is to.

[David Bore]

Don't listen to that 5, 10 shit he says.

[Langston Kearney]

Famously useful hype for the NBA.

[Ali Sholatan]

A lot of your favorite.

[David Bore]

7, 6, bro. 7, 6.

[Langston Kearney]

He grew over the summer, and he's growing wider. He's getting bigger.

[Ali Sholatan]

Crazy. So my goal is to play at the celebrity game.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Ali Sholatan]

And, like, I'm literally training right now. Huh?

[David Bore]

Are you fast?

[Ali Sholatan]

I'm fast as hell.

[David Bore]

Okay. I didn't want to jump. Because you're strong.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, yeah, I'm fast as I can jump. Like, my vertical. My vertical is like, 40 inches. Like, all right.

[David Bore]

We don't have to put numbers.

[Langston Kearney]

No.

[Ali Sholatan]

Like, let me tell. Upside. Yeah.

[David Bore]

A four, four, zero. Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, bro, I. I don't know.

[David Bore]

I'm telling you, like, no, we're 26. Be cool.

[Langston Kearney]

You fucking drop.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's just raining, like, every day. But let me tell you, like, I'll go to some of these runs, and my castmate, Jordan L. Jones, he has a run that he goes to all the time. And, like, they call me Disclaimer because what it is.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

I Got a name. And let me explain why they call me Disclaimer. Cause, like, I pull up, I look.

[David Bore]

Safe for children under 17. Sorry.

[Ali Sholatan]

I pull up and I, like, look at. Right. Like, I'm buff. Like, clearly, like, I play sports. And so Jordan always has to give a disclaimer. Like, yo, this is my friend that can't play. Disclaimer. He looks good, but don't expect anything from him. No, no, no, no. It's actually. It's the nicest thing he could ever do because these guys take it very seriously. And so a horror movie ensues because these guys forget that I can't play, and all of a sudden they're doing these crazy behind the back passes to me, and I'm like.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't even know.

[Ali Sholatan]

You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm smoking wide open layups.

[Langston Kearney]

I'm standing here to be out of the way.

[David Bore]

Yeah, you should go to some kind of a camp, like, training camp.

[Ali Sholatan]

I mean, look, is there like an NBA All Star Game training camp?

[David Bore]

I mean, I think Lethal Shooter is expensive, but there's probably, like a cheaper.

[Ali Sholatan]

Lethal Lethal because he worked on Bel Air. So I think I. Oh, yeah, you.

[David Bore]

Gotta call him up. Call up Lethal Shooter. Oh, if you can get Justin Bieber.

[Langston Kearney]

Right? Yeah. Okay.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because I just. But I'm just saying, like, I've had grown men, like, six, seven, taller than my six one, obviously, just, like, dunking on me. I'm like, come on, man.

[David Bore]

Yeah, man. Unfortunately, one thing that do this, you're realizing now is that for some of these men, ball is life, man. It's like. That's like a real religion.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah. Ball is life. And I'll be at these runs. I'm like, none of us are being paid to do this. No, I want to be really clear.

[David Bore]

That's not.

[Ali Sholatan]

We're all here for fun. It's a Tuesday night.

[Langston Kearney]

I miss playing basketball more than anything that I've ever. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Wait, do you.

[Ali Sholatan]

You hoop?

[Langston Kearney]

I. I used to. I used to play a lot, and then I just have, like. I have two children.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, but I'm looking to hoop with people who have, like, jobs.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Because again, it's fun.

[Langston Kearney]

And I wish I miss. I.

[David Bore]

Do you hear the tone of his voice. It's not.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's not gonna be fun.

[Langston Kearney]

I miss. I think part of the reason I don't. I'm not able to do it anymore is because for me, it was always competitive. And so there's a part of me that can't just turn it into Silly, fun. Like, I still want to get a run in.

[David Bore]

That's what I'm saying. Adult athletics, man. My homie was playing. Picked up, was playing football. A couple, like, right before I moved here, so two years ago. And I went and I was like, oh, this will be fun. Grown ups playing football. Go check out one of his games. It was like, they were more competitive than we were when I was playing competitive football. Like, it's like, not fun. You have to be. I'm gonna be honest. Athletes as adults, not the most fun guys. You know what I'm saying? Athletes in their zone. Like, I remember we've seen a couple break up because it was. It was also co Ed, man. 25 and up. Maybe flag football. This couple's like, breaking up. Like, it is.

[Langston Kearney]

Like, I go to. I go to a gym where people are still imagining themselves as athletes in their 30s and 40s.

[David Bore]

That's a tough culture, man.

[Langston Kearney]

It is, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

So I think she's right. It's a horror movie. Because here she is asking the man that she loves like, hey, I feel incomplete. I feel broken. Can you validate me and can we play this game? And he's like, nah, I'm finna drop buckets on you. Like, come on, that's crazy.

[David Bore]

No, you know what's crazy is that it was inspired by true events, man.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, it's the Cheryl Swoop story. Gay now.

[David Bore]

Because she got dunked on, so.

[Langston Kearney]

Dunked the straight out of her.

[David Bore]

All right, we gotta listen to the.

[Ali Sholatan]

Rest of the voicemail.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Can we?

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, yeah, there's still more. Now we go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he would have gotten fragrantly fouled. It's not no love movie, so I wish we would stop putting in that category, but that's all. I love Yalls podcast. Y' all are funny as hell. Oh, and my name is Ilya. I'm from Texas. Bye.

[David Bore]

Okay. Sounded a little drunk. Like, we like it. Yeah, a little drunk.

[Langston Kearney]

And Ilya certainly sounded like that. I. I will say, say that to take it a step further. Him dunking on her while she's injured also was him saying, I don't give a fuck about your future in a way that, like, is. Is, like, permanent. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, to injure a person while they're injured could, like, fully. She may never compete again.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

And he's like, nah, fuck it. I don't give a shit.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Even after he saw Team USA at the Olympics.

[Langston Kearney]

Bro, bro, he's done.

[David Bore]

That was right around that, right? Yeah. So what Was that the one with like Lisa Leslie and everybody?

[Langston Kearney]

Lisa Leslie, Rebecca Lobo, Sheryl Swoopes. No, Cynthia Cooper was the big NBA or WNBA star I think at the time.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, it's a horror movie.

[Langston Kearney]

It's a sad look.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's a film and it parallels my experiences in learning the beautiful game of basketball.

[David Bore]

I'm excited that you get to learn it though.

[Ali Sholatan]

That's exciting. No, I will say like my, my toxic African trait is like, I love being bad at things because it kind of gives me something to overcome. You know what I'm saying? I think since the show my life has become just like a little too easy, you know what I'm saying? It's like, woohoo. The show's here, I'm famous and now it's like I get to have something where I'm like, gives me that chip on my shoulder.

[Langston Kearney]

I like that.

[David Bore]

My toxic African trait is I'm not afraid to fight chips children. Okay, As a man talk.

[Ali Sholatan]

Say some more. Say some more to that verbal alt.

[David Bore]

I'm just kidding, man.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, no, no, please, you have the.

[David Bore]

Floor because we beat our kids.

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, man.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't have any toxic African traits.

[David Bore]

He probably does. He just doesn't. I think if we, if we really combed through it, I bet you got some stuff.

[Langston Kearney]

Maybe. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Cause like when you go there, like you kind of realize it's just black people, right? You know, we're all just the same.

[Ali Sholatan]

For real.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it's not the.

[Langston Kearney]

Like, I just don't have anything to attribute it to. But maybe it's in there somewhere.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, you'll find it. You have any like secret second families or anything?

[Langston Kearney]

And that's my business and not yours.

[Ali Sholatan]

You're right. You know, you're right. You're right. And it's not my secret anymore. You're so right.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

We should hoop sometime.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, that be great.

[Ali Sholatan]

Well, you said you can't turn off the competitiveness.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. And I'm not going to take it easy.

[Ali Sholatan]

Okay, well, hey, by the time we.

[Langston Kearney]

Hoop, hey, brother, used to not lathan to me.

[David Bore]

That was crazy.

[Langston Kearney]

You see that?

[Ali Sholatan]

You see that form?

[David Bore]

Hey, we'll sell tickets. Yeah. Oh man, this is like Reverse Rumble in the Jungle. This is all we gotta do, guys. We just gotta reverse the Africa stuff. I got you get rich. I'm with you. We'll call it the. Nope, I ain't have it. No, I ain't had it.

[Ali Sholatan]

I think Rumble and Jungle is close enough.

[Langston Kearney]

Close enough.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. Ali, this was great.

[David Bore]

This was so Fun.

[Langston Kearney]

Why don't you tell the people where they can find you what cool shit.

[Ali Sholatan]

You can find me on Instagram at. Ollie. Ollie Scholl TikTok Ali show on Spotify. Ollie Sholatan. Bel Air Season 4 is out now. Yeah, I got music out. Go listen to that. And I'm dropping new music soon.

[David Bore]

Hell yeah.

[Langston Kearney]

Go listen to the music. Go watch Bel Air. Final season.

[Ali Sholatan]

Final season.

[David Bore]

Final season.

[Ali Sholatan]

It's kind of crazy. Like, we cried the whole time we were shooting this season.

[David Bore]

Okay, that's tough.

[Ali Sholatan]

No, like, it's crazy. I started the show when I was 22.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

So I showed when I was 22, and I feel like I've become a young man on the show.

[David Bore]

That's cool, though.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah. It's like a true evolution to look fondly on. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Yeah. That's like a good cause. Most people 22 through 27 wouldn't want a lot of cameras, man.

[Langston Kearney]

A lot of regrettable years for me.

[David Bore]

But you get to see.

[Ali Sholatan]

And, like, it just. It's worked out. Cause, like, I have been hot since I was, like, 22, so I've just been allowed to be hot the whole time on the show.

[David Bore]

Oh, like sexually?

[Ali Sholatan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just been allowing.

[David Bore]

Shoot your shot. Shoot your shot. You're in the game of basketball.

[Langston Kearney]

Just FYI. I'll pull my titties out at any time.

[Ali Sholatan]

I'll do it. So watch fellow season four. I do pull my titties out.

[Langston Kearney]

Bory, what you got?

[David Bore]

I'm gonna be in the crib. Titties in, titties in. Cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram. December 12th and 13th in New Orleans at the sports drink. Come see that other. That's my last date for the end of the year. I'm in the house till this shit. I'm going to Japan. I don't really know. I'm trying to figure out a show there right now, but I don't know when this comes out.

[Langston Kearney]

Yeah, we'll see Bori in Japan or at his house. Fully closed.

[David Bore]

I'm trying to. I'm so excited.

[Langston Kearney]

You can see me on tour. December 7th and December 7th, I'll be in Cleveland. December 11th, I'll be in Brooklyn. In December 12th through the 13th. East Providence, Rhode island, and December 19th through the 20th, I'll be in Detroit, Michigan. Oh, my God. Shut up. You can follow us. Jesus. That's water in it.

[David Bore]

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that when I did it. I'm sorry.

[Langston Kearney]

You can follow us and like and subscribe and do all the things you do to make a podcast successful, popular. Send us your voicemails. Give us a call at 844-LIL-MOMS. Send us your [e-mail] told me pod. I don't know I get I think it's my mama told I think it's my mama pod.

[Ali Sholatan]

And let me know what black movies to watch cause.

[Langston Kearney]

Trolley you haven't even.

[David Bore]

Got to the B sides.

[Ali Sholatan]

Wow, the B sides.

[David Bore]

Oh man, what's that Irish one where the guy's white guy in the hood, look at the eye, you know what I'm talking about.

[Langston Kearney]

I don't know that one.

[David Bore]

That's a super fat beach. That's a B side ride with Malik Yoba leprechaun. Leap in the hood. Come to do no good. Yeah.

[Ali Sholatan]

Oh, I have so much studying to do. Got it.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it's all great cinema, all really solid.

[Langston Kearney]

And you can watch those films and see us here every goddamn week. We're not going anywhere. We love you. Bye bye.

[Ali Sholatan]

Why you coming home?

[David Bore]

Something's going on. Can I smell your dick?

[Langston Kearney]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network.

[David Bore]

And I Heart Podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kearney.

[Langston Kearney]

Co hosted by David Bore, executive produced.

[David Bore]

By Will Ferrell Hansuck and Joel Monique.

[Langston Kearney]

Co produced by Bay Wayne.

[David Bore]

Edited and engineered by Justin Comey.

[Langston Kearney]

Music by Nick Chambers.

[David Bore]

Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Langston Kearney]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel. You want the hottest Black Friday savings and Lowes has them. Shop amazing deals like up to 50% off. Select major appliances. Plus get up to an extra 25% off when you bundle. Select major appliances and save $80 on your choice of a Dewalt 20 volt max drill or impact driver kit. Now just $99. Shop Lowe's Black Friday Savings before they're gone. Valid through December 3, 2025. Selection varies by location. Select locations only while supplies last. See lowe's.com for more details.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Amazon Five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by a real serious improv podcaster.

[David Bore]

Tonight's review, Spatula for the Stars.

[Langston Kearney]

When I'm dead and civilization eventually collapses.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This spatula will remain. It will be the only rune uncovered by some unknown species of the future upon which they base their assumptions of our existence. Eggs they reposit.

[David Bore]

These extinct people like to eat their.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Eggs, and this was their primary tool for cooking them.

[David Bore]

Let us teleport and put this device.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

In the Milky Way exhibit.

[Langston Kearney]

Five stars.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Zachary, find your perfect gift this holiday on Amazon.

[David Bore]

You know what?

[Ali Sholatan]

A girl's best friend is not diamonds. Her lawyers.

[David Bore]

From executive producer Ryan Murphy comes a fiery new legal drama.

[Langston Kearney]

Ma, it's our own boutique women representing.

[David Bore]

Women you can't afford to miss.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Make it rain. Showtime, ladies. Stand up straight, then breeze into that room like a storm no one saw coming.

[David Bore]

Hulu Original Series All's Fair now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers.

[Langston Kearney]

Terms apply. Running a business is hard enough.

[David Bore]

Don't make it harder with a dozen.

[Langston Kearney]

Apps that don't talk to each other other one for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. Odoo is the all in one platform.

[David Bore]

That replaces them all.

[Langston Kearney]

CRM, accounting, inventory, E commerce, hr. Fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business.

[David Bore]

Thousands have already made the switch.

[Langston Kearney]

Why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's odoo.com this is an iHeart podcast.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Guaranteed Human.