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Langston Kerman
This is an iHeart podcast.
David Bore
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Ryan Seacrest
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Langston Kerman
This is Reshawn McDonald from Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Every business starts with an idea. How can you go from daydreamer to industry leader? Amazon Business accelerates your journey with smart business buying. Get everything you need to grow in one familiar place. From office supplies to IT essentials and maintenance tools. Amazon Business takes the buying experience you know and love from Amazon Plus Tools to help you save costs and make insights based decisions ready to bring your visions to life. Learn how@AmazonBusiness.com this season.
Alex English
Let your shoes do the talking. Designer Shoe Warehouse is packed with fresh styles that speak to your whole vibe.
Ryan Seacrest
Without saying a word.
Alex English
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Langston Kerman
Everybody's mommy used to sell and I.
Alex English
Used to steal and I used to steal her product and give it to like girls in middle school as like presents.
David Bore
What?
Alex English
So I had like I had girls in middle school I have gifting them like anti aging cream.
Langston Kerman
Whoa that's nice. Am I the only one whose mother sold Mary Kay and was then recruited into the sales?
Alex English
No, my mom. I don't believe my mom made it far enough. Probably cause I was stealing her product and she wasn't making It.
Langston Kerman
I'm gonna be honest with you. My mom didn't make it very far either, but that did not stop her from sending me to school with the full catalog, being like, Excuse me, Ms. Washington. Now that class is over, my mother wanted me to mention that she had some items available.
David Bore
Greatest origin story.
Alex English
I do love it. That's like a common through line. That's like a common through line in black Millennial, I think, like, young, young. Like childhood. Every nigga's mama, for the most part.
Langston Kerman
So Mary Kay abused them. Yeah. No, I agree.
Alex English
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
The government growing babies. Microchips in your 80s. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians invented turkey stuffing.
David Bore
Y' all can't tell me nothing. Oh, my love. A thousand bottles of lube is never enough.
Langston Kerman
There it is.
David Bore
There it is, little mamas and gentiles alike. To another phenomenal episode of My Mama.
Langston Kerman
Told Me the podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we finally work to.
David Bore
Prove that the scars on Seal's face are not from a car accident. They are actually the remnants of a curse put on him by a voodoo when he sold his soul for everlasting fame. I'm David Bore.
Langston Kerman
I'm Langston Carmen. And if I'm following this correctly, he went to this voodoo woman voluntarily. This is. He went in and he said, gift me, voodoo priestess with what beautiful singing voice?
Alex English
Well, I think Heidi Klum.
David Bore
I think she gave him the lyrics to Kiss by a Rose, and she said, you're good after this.
Langston Kerman
Oh, that's smart. She was like, you're gonna want to write this down.
Alex English
Yeah, I think he asked for Heidi Klum also. There's no way. I think he knew what he wanted, and he got that as well. That was part of the package, right? Yeah. I feel like the conversation between him and the voodoo, the voodoo queen, voodoo priestess was like. He was like, can I get a successful, expansive singing career? And he treated it like a genie situation, where it was like, I get three of these. And she was like, listen, I don't do all of that, but I'll give.
Langston Kerman
You a white woman, too. Look, I see. You don't. You don't see how I work, and that's okay. It's your first time here.
Alex English
This is your first time here.
Langston Kerman
You're asking for a lot.
Alex English
But everybody makes that mistake here with me. It's fine. I'll give you a second one, too.
Langston Kerman
I'm going to throw in. I can't even believe I'm doing This, I'm going to throw in one of the baddest white women that's ever existed, and you ain't.
Alex English
You're not gonna keep her. You're not gonna keep her, but you'll have her for long enough, she's gonna.
Langston Kerman
Make you dress up a lot.
David Bore
Honestly, I'm losing money on this deal. I'm actually glad that we're talking about Voodoo. Cause I wanted to bring this up before we get into the podcast. I just saw two dead crows on the walk home from the barbershop.
Alex English
Uh.
Langston Kerman
Oh, brother.
David Bore
And that feels so Especially. Fall is starting.
Langston Kerman
Fuck. Two dead crows.
David Bore
2.
Langston Kerman
If you see a third, that's it. My man.
Alex English
I'm glad you saw it. I'm glad you saw them before you went to the barbershop. Cause that could have spelled out something different.
David Bore
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I saw them on my walk home. I saw them not 15 minutes ago.
Alex English
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Damn. Damn.
David Bore
The cut's good, so it needs to be good.
Langston Kerman
The cut looks great.
Alex English
Yeah.
David Bore
Between two dead.
Langston Kerman
Look, man, if I can make a suggestion to you, I wouldn't be going outside for the rest.
Alex English
Yeah. Don't leave the house. Yeah.
David Bore
Are you serious?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think you gotta be an indoor kitty cat for the day.
Alex English
Dead crows. Two of them. One is like, okay. You know, birds be out here dying. It could be whatever. But, like, two is like, okay. Somebody doing this to me. This feels deliberate.
David Bore
It was like, three blocks apart as well.
Alex English
Is your. Is. Is. Is the neighbor. Is that your neighborhood? Do you hear crows often?
David Bore
Oh, I don't, bro. I don't even see crows.
Langston Kerman
Fuck.
Alex English
Yeah. I was. I think. I think I saw. I was. I was just, like, on a YouTube scroll and saw, like. I think either it's ravens or crows that know how to, like, speak.
David Bore
Crows. Crows are very. They also remember their enemies.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. They remember the faces of humans.
Alex English
Oh, yeah. David, you better chill somebody. I don't.
Langston Kerman
With words that either. Look, man, either the devil or Itachi is about to get you. I'm gonna be honest with you.
David Bore
I knew it was bad. I knew it was bad because I saw the first one. I was like, damn, that's crazy.
Alex English
That's like the opening scenes. It's like some Marvel character origin story. You saw like.
David Bore
I knew it.
Langston Kerman
They already got a crow, so you.
Alex English
They already got a cr.
Langston Kerman
Bro, you ain't the next one. I think you about to. I think you about to die.
Alex English
You about to see the raft or some shit.
David Bore
Cause I got through Friday the 13th, and I thought I had dodged it. I was like, all right, I'm good for the month.
Langston Kerman
Nah, man, you down bad. But unfortunately, we don't have time to worry about that.
Alex English
I'm so glad I'm on what probably will be your last episode of this podcast.
Langston Kerman
And exciting news. You're listening to our new co host. He is available and guess what? I'm available.
Alex English
Yellow boy is all. Hell. Yup. You absolutely right, Langston.
Langston Kerman
You've heard his voice already. He is a returning guest on the podcast. He's unbelievably funny. We're so happy he's here. You know him best from. He was a writer on snl. He's a amazing standup comedian. He currently has a set up on Colin Jost and Michael Che present New York After Dark. You're gonna love to watch it. Our very funny friend, Mr. Alex English.
Alex English
Boys, boys, boys. What's up, world? Glad to be back.
Langston Kerman
More people need to come on. Like, boys, boys, boys. We don't get that energy enough.
Alex English
Like me, like me in the gay club. Boys, boys, boys. My first set of words when I walk in there, they are just all of the boys.
David Bore
That just feels like a powerful feeling. Walking into the gay club being like.
Alex English
Gentlemen, like, like diddy. Like diddy at a freak off. Okay, well, not quite. Let me not say that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I was gonna say take it easy.
Alex English
It is far too early. Yo, when I heard about that shit, I was like, when I. When I first heard the thousand bottles of baby oil, I'm like, well, this is like. I'm like, oh, straight. This is like straight n trying to be gay. Trying to do what they think. It's honestly homophobic. It's a very homophobic way to view that because it's like, it's literally the. I think, I think of that and I'm like, this is what, like, religious straight people think gay guys engage. Like, a thousand bottles of baby oil is an egregious way to approach the idea of, like, that's not what we're doing, you know. Well, let me a modest. A modest to bottles. One in storage. The one on my nightstand is like, what I keep up with. You know, Sometimes I run out.
Langston Kerman
That's a lot of baby oil.
Alex English
And sometimes I'm running out. I'm like, you know what? I got some Vaseline in the bathroom that maybe we could like.
Langston Kerman
I'll be honest. I've. I've never in my life run out of baby oil.
Alex English
I've never. Yeah, I've never, like, bought it. Bought that kind of shit. In bulk. What are you doing? No, also, how many people are in attendance that you need? Thousands.
David Bore
I feeling, though, can I. On behalf of Puff Diddy.
Alex English
Puff Diddy, love.
David Bore
I imagine that when it's in the midst of a freak off and it's freaking off, I imagine he's the type to be very liberal with baby oil. Horning on people's heads. Brother, you talk about it as if you're using it. You're reasonable, brother.
Langston Kerman
There's no way in the world he could be conservative with the baby oil. It's not possible. A thousand bottles.
Alex English
A thousand bottles.
Langston Kerman
Now, now, Alex.
David Bore
Okay, and this is, and this is, once again, I have no basis for this. This is just me understanding myself and my personality. I think I could, I think I could not in an orgy. I think I could knock down four or five bottles. One orgy, easy.
Langston Kerman
Well, here's four or five bottles of baby oil.
David Bore
I think if I'm liberal, I think if I'm doing whatever I want. If I'm doing whatever, sure, but, but.
Langston Kerman
Remember, you don't, you don't have, you don't have cleaners, you don't have. You know what I mean? Like, part of the reason he's doing whatever he wants is because he doesn't value human life, right? So he goes like, I bet he's.
David Bore
Squirting in people's mouth. I bet he's going crazy.
Alex English
I don't think that's far fetched whatsoever. I just, I'm just, I'm. I'm someone who has had copious amounts of gay sex.
Langston Kerman
Congratulations on that one.
Alex English
Thank you, thank you. But I'm. I can't for the life of me, if I see a bottle of baby oil in the, in the vicinity, I'm like, well, we're not, we're not doing that. Because sex with that, it's not great. It smells bad. It leaves like really? But I'm like, I guess you're not really, I guess in that party you're not really worried about your, your good linens being, you know, destroyed.
Langston Kerman
And I think we also need to be clear that this wasn't nearly as consenting sex as we are all describing. Like, these are. These people have been drugged, they've been coerced. They are, yeah, allegedly. They are all.
Alex English
He could have been using toothpaste and that is.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck if it feels good or if your shirt's gonna be sticky for the next 48 hours. Like that ain't got nothing to do with him.
David Bore
It also feels like in the mouth that he was using that to show his friends. Like, the other freaks come over and.
Langston Kerman
He'S like, and we'll get that list. We'll get that list.
Alex English
I'm waiting on the videos. I'm waiting on the videos. Like, stop playing. I got my Twitter notifications on my burner account, waiting. I'm like, bro, as soon as them videos drop, I don't want to miss. Because as soon as I get pulled off the Internet, I'm going to be mad. I want to.
Langston Kerman
It's going to be a wild day.
Alex English
I need to know. But I don't even need the audio. I just want to see the shit. Or you know what? I actually would rather have audio. Did y' all hear the video? Did y' all hear the alleged audio of him and Meek Mill?
David Bore
No, no.
Langston Kerman
There's alleged audio of him.
Alex English
People are. People are speculating that it's AI, But I don't know, it's too crazy and it sounds too much like them for.
David Bore
I mean, I. A lot of AI, like, this is full disclosure. My algorithm lately is a lot of like, AI with Denzel Washington giving business quotes.
Alex English
Oh, at one point, my account my for you. And I had to. I had to get this off of there quickly because I was like, this is bad. Was AI like Ice Cube with his ass in the air, AI Trey Songz walking in a tight. Like a skin tight jumpsuit. And I'm like, this is. At what point did my algorithm tell me you like it?
David Bore
You know what?
Alex English
I.
David Bore
Your algorithm is clearly as filthy as mine. But on a different.
Alex English
I have this conversation with so many straight men, David. Yes, it's nothing but Brazilian gay niggas, booty. Like, it's all that and living single clips. That's my. For you. You ain't even. You ain't even wrong. You ain't wrong at all. Nasty. Just nasty. And I open it opening kind of feeling, you know, you want to be mad. You can't really be mad at nobody but you because you'd be like, yeah, I do be tapping like on all these things. Like, but you're being wild how you know me like this? You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
You don't. You don't like it. You're supposed to look at it and move on with your life. You like it.
Alex English
And it's like, I like puppies and, you know, cats on top of alligators and like that. Like, I like. I like that kind of too. Why. Why not give me more of it?
Langston Kerman
You Gave yourself smallpox by liking that shit. This is permanent, my guy.
Alex English
It's just clips from Zeus network. My page be calling me a hood rat to my face.
Langston Kerman
We have never gone this long without bringing up the very conspiracy we are meant to talk about. And that's a testament to you, Alex. This has been an amazing conversation, even on just absolute bullshit. You came to us with a conspiracy that I had never heard before. Bori, had you heard this before?
David Bore
I had not, but I'm very excited to unpack it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, this is exciting shit. I immediately. Both Bori and I, when Olivia sent this over, we were like, well, that's the one we want to talk about. But you said, my mama told me black people used to be green.
Alex English
That's right.
Langston Kerman
Tell me everything you know.
David Bore
Expand.
Alex English
Honestly, my knowledge is surface level. I came here to learn. I'm sure. I was like, I knew that Langston would have all of the research. It was something. I happened to scroll by on Twitter, of course, and see that this was something that was shared and it was pretty surface level. It's just that based on research of, I think of like melanin based skin types are, you know, I'm guessing like before, you know, pre. This is like pre slavery. Like back to like all the way. The roots of Africa. Our skin wasn't even nearly as dark as it can get before, you know, and we were like blue and we were like shades of green or something. Like back to like, before. Before we even got anywhere near white people, it was just green people. I think that's what I read.
Langston Kerman
But that's okay.
Alex English
That's Twitter telling me what it is.
David Bore
No.
Alex English
Okay, so take that with what it is. Yeah, but I. But it's, you know, I'm kind of, from what the little that I've read, I'm like, oh, I mean, where's the evidence that we're not. Because I think about it, I'm like, if you were to look up the fossils of the original people, how would you really know what the skin type was? And we didn't have, like, you know, we. I mean, we only got what, colored photos in the last, like. Well, we've had. We've since as long as. I'm just saying everything was black and white before then, so.
Langston Kerman
I like that you're implying their world was almost in black and white.
Alex English
You know what? I kind of grew up. You know how you watch like, I Love Lucy. You watch like that as a kid. You're like, what were they all? Was this life? Was it just.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they were just all the same.
Alex English
I think TV should have stayed black and white.
David Bore
I had a black and white TV in my room for a while, don't you think?
Alex English
Tv. Tv. I think we probably would be different.
Langston Kerman
I think it was. It would slow down this weird overstimulation shit. I think people would watch way less porn if it was black and white.
David Bore
Oh, brother. I turned the color off my phone for a while and I quit watching my. Everything changed.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it just. It takes a life out of something.
Alex English
It makes everything a little more cinematic.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, but not in a fun cinema.
Alex English
Not in a fun cinema.
Langston Kerman
This is a cinema class type shit.
Alex English
But yeah, so. And you know, so that's as much as I know about black people being green. But I came here again knowing that there would be some research done on Langston's part, David, where this would be new information.
Langston Kerman
What do you know?
David Bore
Is someone.
Langston Kerman
For those at home. He immediately teepeed his fingers.
Alex English
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
Immediately hit the people.
Alex English
Is getting ready to say some loud and wrong shit when he got his fingers at the seafood.
David Bore
And you've called it correctly as someone who occupies the end of the spectrum. Cruelly, cruelly. Compared to other colors. Purple is one I've gotten.
Alex English
You've gotten purple?
David Bore
Honestly, I think you would take the pressure off. I would love to. And me be a relic of an ancient beautiful tradition. And you, Langston, somewhat of a racial abomination.
Alex English
Yo.
Langston Kerman
You know what?
Alex English
Honestly, Dave, I'm glad you kind of brought us into that conversation because I really thought about it, you know, even when I introduced this topic when you guys asked me, I was thinking about it and I'm like, oh yeah, this would really like dark skinned black people, brown skin. Dark skinned brown people would have like, I think another. You know, there's a whole other layer to the conversation of the evolution of our skin tone. And I'm wondering though, you know, let's play it. Let's play it in a way that colonization didn't happen and like we weren't like, you know, I'm thinking what if we were all. What if. At what point we were all. If we were. If we didn't get fucked with, we were all green, you know. But then as like the evolution of the world experience and skin tones being begin changing for whatever, but let's just say osmosis, it just starts happening. What if black people are actually green and then we have different shades of green. We got dark green people. So like, I think, Dave, David, you'd be like, you'd be like, Forest green, maybe. I think that's like, okay, then I'm. No way. But then like, but then, like, brown, Brown, like my, my color. They're like, oh. I'm like, what? I don't know. I'm like, what kind of green is like, not that, but like a diet Kelly green. Kelly green. Like, I'm Kelly skin. You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
Then, Langston, I think you're, I think you're lime. Honestly, you're like.
Langston Kerman
I'm assuming we're talking inside of the lime, not the outside. That does hurt things.
Alex English
Would there be colorism in the green? What if we were never black? We were just green skinned people?
Langston Kerman
I, I, I'm very fascinated by this. I will say that when I heard this conspiracy theory, I did not think it included people like me when they were like, black people used to be green. I think, to your point, Bori, it is because of my existence that your greenness has been stolen from you. You know what I mean? So I, I take the blame for that if that's the case. I'm not sure.
Alex English
I, I didn't consider it until I heard Boris say it. And I'm like, okay, well, his makes more sense, actually, for talking. Historically.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
I was, I was thinking in a world where, like, none of the bad shit really happened to us and we just kind of evolved into a different, of different shades of green at one point or another, you know, here's the.
David Bore
Dude, I'm, I'm brewing right now. Just, just off the top of all this, I wonder if there is a group of people who knows that we were green. That's why they market shit to us as green, because they know it's inside of us.
Alex English
That's right. That's right. Number one being Sprite. Sprite is our, that's our dream.
Langston Kerman
Oh, Sprite. Menthol cigarettes.
Alex English
Menthol cigarettes.
Langston Kerman
The rest exists.
David Bore
The point is because.
Langston Kerman
Oh, sour cream and onion chips. That's our shit.
David Bore
Come on. It's so good.
Alex English
Just had some the other day. Boom, boom. Like, I'm really. All of this is making me believe that it's actually true.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, well, this is, this is heavy shit. All right, we need to take a break. We're going to be back with more Alex and more My Mama Told Me.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 17th. Shop in store or online for your favorite personal care Items and save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Stock up on items like Dove Body Wash, Degree Motion Sense, Deodorant Tresemme Hairspray, Dove Shampoo, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's Body and face Wash and Dollar Shave Club blades. And save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Hurry in before these deals are gone off rents June 17. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Langston Kerman
NBC Nightly News legacy isn't handed down or NBC News.
Tom Brokaw
I'm Tom Brokaw.
Langston Kerman
Hope to see you back here.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm Lester Holt.
Langston Kerman
It's carried forward. Tom Yamas is there for us. Firefighters are still working around the clock.
David Bore
As the world changes, we look for.
Langston Kerman
What inspired we are coming on the air with breaking news. Right now, we look for a constant.
David Bore
And from one era to the next.
Langston Kerman
Trust is the anchor For NBC Nightly News, I'm Tom Yamas. A new chapter begins NBC Nightly News with Tom Yamas evenings on NBC.
Tom Brokaw
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Howie Mandel
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David Bore
She pulls out her breasts, and she's juggling them. Look like she about to fall over. Then she bends over and pulls down her pennies. Spreads her cheeks. I'm not lying. I'm telling what's on the video. Spreads her cheeks. This is madness. We are back with. It's not madness. The possibility that black people, in fact, used to be green. Langston, I believe you have some research.
Langston Kerman
I did do some research, man. That clip still makes me laugh every single time.
David Bore
It's very hilarious.
Langston Kerman
It's unbelievable. Yes, I did do some research on this conspiracy theory, and as I mentioned, this was the first time that I've ever heard this, but Olivia pointed out the fact that there seems to be a pretty sturdy TikTok community arguing this exact theory that. That all over TikTok, people are making all kinds of videos suggesting that their skin, in fact, used to be green. Now, what I would love to do. And I wonder if I can do this on my own. What I would love to do is show you guys one of those videos, because I think it's going to be pretty informing in terms of where this conspiracy actually comes from.
Alex English
And I tell you about when your skin was once green.
Langston Kerman
You put a fake ring on from this and make.
Alex English
And fake doesn't necessarily be fake. Fake means it came from an alloy containing iron and copper, which has magnesium, which gets back on your skin through the sweat.
Langston Kerman
The moisture goes back in the pores.
Alex English
Causing your skin to turn green once again. And when I start to educate people on that, I'm. Pseudo, right? Pseudo means that something that is made up of fictitious.
David Bore
All right, I'm back out.
Alex English
Yo, why do. Why do all Hoteps. Why do all Hoteps talk like they. Like they hooping?
Langston Kerman
Cause he dunking on y' all dumb ass. You don't know your history. And so he hitting you with that fucking historical cross, you know what I mean?
Alex English
I don't know how much I'm willing to listen to a nigga with a Burger King crown on. I just don't know.
Langston Kerman
I know exactly how much I'm willing to listen. And it's zero.
Alex English
It's zero. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I would have walked into that, into that workshop and immediately turned right around and been like, my bad, y' all, this was a mistake. I apologize. For what?
Alex English
Because there are. There are people seated and attentive. So that makes me think, oh, there was an event Bright made for this event, right? He. Somebody came here with the intention of hearing about their. Their what? What was once their green skin.
Langston Kerman
That's right. My man put out some crudite and said, sit down, sit down. We got a lot to talk about.
David Bore
Here's an issue too, is if you're going to talk to me with the crown on, it has to be metallic based. I will not listen to a man in a plastic crown. I just can't. It's how I can.
Langston Kerman
And what he's saying, my brother, is that that is part of your brainwashing. He's explaining in the video. And it's a shame you don't listen, David, because he's explaining very clearly in the video that our relationship with these expensive metals is fake. That's the real fraud. We need to be putting copper on our skin and iron so that the magnesium from our sweat can soak back in, thus turning our skin green the way it's supposed to be. Wake up, my nigga or get off the fucking mic.
David Bore
Oh, what's your chain made out of, Lex? You got a copper chain on right now. Where's your chain?
Alex English
Okay, so do you. Do you think that when someone gets a bad ear, like an infection from an ear person and it turns your ear drain, do you think. Do you then think that that's like science trying to tell us something?
David Bore
I.
Langston Kerman
That's what he said.
David Bore
Infection is what's taking me back to the base of who I'm supposed to be.
Alex English
We're viewing it as an infection, and that is part of the brainwashing. Also.
Langston Kerman
That's what he's saying. He's saying that the hurt that you feel when your ear becomes green and almost swollen. Pussy. He's saying that that in fact is just the transformation of you back to God. That is you going. It is painful to return to your true self. And the true self you are is green, my brother.
Alex English
Listen, I'm here for it.
David Bore
Honestly, I'm not. Do you not. I feel like you're already forgetting what this guy looked like. You want me to pay? I feel like you're already forget had a plastic crown and aviator glasses. That is not a man who's here to lead you to anything.
Langston Kerman
No, he's. Listen, he's not an inspiring spokesman, but we're early in the company. We can't afford LeBron yet, but we'll get to LeBron. We'll make our way up to LeBron. But for now, the young man in the Burger King crown is going to have to do. Every video that I seem to come across to some extent is making a similar argument that this. It's sort of just a bunch. It's just a bunch of people with fake jewelry on being like, I ain't gotta buy real ones. Just me turning back to God.
David Bore
Does not need to be from Cuba.
Alex English
Yeah, yeah. And now that they. And now that they got like a bad reaction to the jewelry, they're just like, they're rationalizing as like, oh, you know what? That's not the jewelry. That's. I gotta spread this message to people. It is just rooted in, like, people getting bad skin infections.
David Bore
It's the classic Adam Sandler peeing your pants is cool. Everybody pees their pants.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it truly. And look, I'm all for us empowering ourselves beyond traditional white education. Right. That I do think the white world would tell us that black people have existed X amount of years. And it may in fact have been millennia past, whatever that. That version of understanding is. That said, I don't like when we buy into sort of anti white history, anti white teachings at. At our own expense. You know what I mean? Like, nigga, your neck hurts, your wrist.
Alex English
Hurts, your ear is about to fall off.
Langston Kerman
You are infected.
Alex English
You are. Yes, but, you know, but you know what? To your point, Langston, I think if. If there were any conspiracy theories, to me, this is truly the most innocent one because. Because it feels like any, you know, a lot of the rhetoric that these people spew are usually like, yeah, the white person did this to us.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
And I'm like, no, this, you know, this feels very like, oh, something happened, you know, and maybe not something that was like, manipulated, you know, by an outside source. This is just something, somebody. He's very chemically. He kept saying things like magnesium. He kept using chemistry as, like, explanation for it. So. But, I mean, I'd be a fool to think that he feels like there's no way.
Langston Kerman
I. I hate to break it to you, and, and I, I don't like being this person, but a hundred percent, they blame white people.
Alex English
They blame white people's transformation.
Langston Kerman
So what you should know and talked about in the past as it relates to a gentleman by the name of Bobby Hemet. Bobby Hemmett is the historian I often turn to. For all my HOTEP knowledge, He's really.
David Bore
A light in the dark for you.
Langston Kerman
He Is I think whenever I'm in doubt, I'm like, there's a Bobby Hemmett quote relating to this. And it usually is absolute nonsense. But that said, he talks a lot about a history that is sort of unwritten about the black race. That we in fact used to be gods. That we were like these sort of like eternal beings that had like full control, we could fly, we had different sort of like a glow about us and shit. And that it is through history that black people essentially had to sacrifice our God like power and thus find our way back to that God experience. So our journey through like the negative white history that exists is us just having, basically taking, taking our powers away and allowing whatever sort of like transference of pain and suffering to allow us to recreate ourselves as God and ascend beyond the God level that we used to be. It's the only way you can ascend as a God is to fail and start over again. Is. Is basically his argument. And I think I say all that to say I think green skin sort of falls into that same type of thinking. That this is a reflection of our sort of godlike powers that we sacrifice to be here amongst the whites.
David Bore
I just want to. I want to throw this out. I want to see what you guys think about this. Are we sexy or green?
Alex English
You know, Listen, thank you for asking. This is a fabulous question because when you think about the way. Think about the way in which brown, our brownness, our brown identity is like labeled as like chocolate. How many times have you been like told, I don't know, dog. I think I would rather be referred to as like minty than like chocolatey.
Langston Kerman
Oh, really?
Alex English
Minty. If I was green, I would love to be like a minty ass nigga. You minty.
Langston Kerman
That does sound cool.
Alex English
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
You know, chocolate never sounded bad.
Alex English
It has never really sat right with you.
David Bore
I don't know.
Langston Kerman
It's also never been my description. So I, I think I yearn for it. I think I.
Alex English
Yes, you get, you get vanilla. You get what you get like vanilla. Like what you get?
Langston Kerman
No, it's always. My shit's always offensive. It's always butter. It's somebody saying butterscotch. But they say it in a mean way. Do you know what I mean? They're never like, you are beautiful. Butterscotch. They like butterscotch ass nigga. And then crazy.
Alex English
That's mean.
Langston Kerman
It's not.
Alex English
That's very mean spirited. Even if, even if you say it nicely. It's mean spirited. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
There's something hateful in It.
Alex English
Well, yeah, I'd say, like, hey, listening, being. Being. Having white men refer to me as chocolate at one point or another, I'm like, yeah, I just. I don't. I don't need. But if I heard you real minty, I'm like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I smell good.
Langston Kerman
What's fascinating about what you're talking about, Alex, is it reminds me of something. And this also relates to history that I've learned from Bobby Hemmett, but also a few other places. But it talks a little. It reminds me of something called melanin theory. Melanin theory. I don't know how familiar you are with it, but melanin theory is essentially the argument that black people are, in fact, just physically and internally, stronger and better than white people because of the melanin in our skin, throughout our bodies.
Alex English
Which is why doctors be like, yeah, you good. And you still got your fucking, like, arm torn off. And you like, no, you good.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, well, that certainly. That's where it works in the opposite direction. Right? Is that like white people for years believed, and the history of gynecology was in fact, built this way because white people believe that. That black people didn't feel pain. Literally. That, like, we had no access to pain. Nerve endings, and therefore you could do whatever the fuck you wanted to us. Or when we complained about pain, it was false because we.
Alex English
It really. It really goes back even. It's kind of. That's. That kind of exists even within the race. Because how many times has a little black boy falling on the ground, he started crying, and an auntie, uncle, or even like a parent is just like, man, get your ass up. You ain't. Ain't nothing wrong with you. Meanwhile, he's like, in pain. Quit being. Quit. You know what I mean? Like, I've seen. It happened to me enough times.
Langston Kerman
Beyond people is what you really do be on.
Alex English
Ain't nothing wrong with that. Nigga, get up. Meanwhile, you're literally bleeding.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I'm curious to hear from both of you how that supports or jets against the possibility of the greenness of it all. Because if we're embracing the green, I don't know that melanin is green. I think melanin specifically is sort of the darkness of skin tone or the brownness that I think we equate with blackness. Obviously.
David Bore
I don't know if I can give up my melanin, which is a known fact, for the possibility of chlorophyll or whatever the fuck.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
Yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, are we the First, I mean, if that's the case, then we are like the first plant based people.
Langston Kerman
Well, that, that is in, in a lot of the research, that research that I've, I've seen a lot of people make, not plant based people arguments, but more suggestions that we have, like this deeper connection with the sun almost in a photosynthetic type way that like we, we soak up their ray, the sun's rays, in a way that it empowers us more than just like, makes us look good, you know what I mean?
Alex English
So now it makes me wonder, you know, and I am an avid weed smoker, if having, if smoking weed in fact does something different to us than it does to white people, does it make us higher? I think maybe, whoa, maybe we don't see. I'm leaving room for that to be. If we are one, if we are the people of the earth and the sun and like, hey, maybe there's also that can, there's also that conspiracy that, you know, that I think at this point has been disproven, that we don't, we don't suffer from sunburn or that we don't. It's been disproven. But to some level, I'll tell you, I've been in the sun. I've never been sunburned a day in my life, would you say?
David Bore
And I refuse. I just refuse.
Langston Kerman
You don't need. You've never put on sunscreen once.
Alex English
I rarely have I ever put on sunscreen.
David Bore
I laugh at the fact.
Langston Kerman
Wow.
David Bore
I mock openly. My little brothers are biracial. And one of the first times I ever remember my littlest brother getting truly angry. He fell asleep and he got a sunburn. My mom and I made fun of.
Alex English
Him.
David Bore
And we were like, marty got a sunburn. My thing is. And he was like.
Alex English
Now you turn it red.
David Bore
He's also showing some of that light skin rage.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, no, I gotta put it on.
Alex English
I put it on.
Langston Kerman
I don't have to put it on every time I go out. And I rarely put it on if I'm not like at a beach or at a pool. But if I'm at a beach or a pool, I put it on.
Alex English
I'm gonna be honest, every time I put on sunscreen, I've been like, in my head, I'm just like, I don't need this shit.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
I'm just like performative. You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Everybody's doing it. So I'll put it on too.
Alex English
Yeah, I guess I'll obey. These are white rules. I don't really know what y' all like. Yeah, this ain't got nothing to do with me.
Langston Kerman
I, for years, I for years tried to be defiant about it and be like, nah, I don't need that. And then got enough sunburns that I was like, bro, you can't keep living like this.
Alex English
This is.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it's crazy.
David Bore
I don't. I've never had a sunburn in my life. Even in the blistering suns of Africa, Caribbean, in South America, no burns.
Langston Kerman
Wow. Beautiful, beautiful life.
Alex English
This is starting to hold up, y' all.
David Bore
Come on.
Langston Kerman
So it does okay.
David Bore
Because of that. Why I don't want to transfer this. I think in melanin theory, in that side of things, I'm wealthy. I don't want to go to this green thing where I'm at a dearth.
Langston Kerman
That's fair. It's a big swing. It's a big risk. It's a big risk to buy into. I don't know if it's worth it, but I am excited to tell you guys a little bit more. There's a little bit more research that I have to share with you. So let's take a break. We're going to take a break. We'll be back with with more Alex English and more My mama Told Me.
Ryan Seacrest
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Langston Kerman
The NBC Nightly News legacy isn't handed down or NBC News.
Tom Brokaw
I'm Tom Brokaw.
Langston Kerman
We hope to see you back here.
Ryan Seacrest
I'm Lester Holt.
Langston Kerman
It's carried forward.
David Bore
Tom Yamas is there for us.
Langston Kerman
Firefighters are still working around the clock. As the world changes, we look for what endures. We are coming on the air with.
Alex English
Breaking news right now.
Langston Kerman
We look for a constant and from one era to the next, trust is the anchor for NBC Nightly News. I'm Tom Yamas. A new chapter begins NBC Nightly News.
David Bore
With Tom Yamas evenings on NBC.
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Langston Kerman
Pop my butt. Pop, pop my butt.
Alex English
Yeah. Pop my butt. Pop, pop my butt.
Langston Kerman
Do you know what pop my butt.
Alex English
Meant to Harriet Tubman? Do you know what that meant? It meant a whip.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
Probably my most favorite moment on television ever.
David Bore
Oh, God, I don't even know the backstory. Is it Ilyana?
Alex English
She was on loving hip hop. And that was. Yeah, the lady was unloving hip hop. She. I don't. I forget what reason she showed up to the show, what part of her life needed to be fixed, but she did something. I mean, I would imagine that if you were on you definitely need your life fixed at some point or another.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I don't know that Ayanla was specifying. I think she was just meant to fix your whole shit.
Alex English
Your whole shit. You're right. Yeah. She could still.
Langston Kerman
You're a piece of shit, and I'mma make you less a piece of shit by the time I'm done with you.
Alex English
And she had. That woman. That woman had a song out with those lyrics, and so she made her read her own lyrics to a photo of Rose Parks.
David Bore
Honestly, if I had to read a transcript of this podcast to, like, Sojourner Truth, I would also feel good, bro.
Langston Kerman
If any of our ancestors saw the way that we behave and talk and think about this shit, they'd curse us.
Alex English
Put me back in that coffin, bro. I've seen.
David Bore
I'm thankful current relatives don't listen to this. Like, the alive ones.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. No, this is a nightmare for anybody who loves us or wished better for us. Another sort of thinking in this green theory that I came across, because when I initially looked up, can black people used to be green? One of the things that pops up, it talks about sort of our historical relationship with green energy. Not necessarily green skin that, like, specifically when you look up, black people used to be green. It talks about how sort of like, green our culture has been historically that, like, reusing shopping bags as trash bags, using old containers for other purposes.
David Bore
Do we make that up? Do white people not do that?
Langston Kerman
I don't know that they do it the way that we do it.
Alex English
I mean, the trash bags under the sink are definitely. That's one of, like, the most connecting. I mean, that could be a class thing also. But yeah, I'm willing to hear the research backing up that, you know, because you also have what we share, what I know that we share with the Latino community is that the grandma had, like, a cookie tin, but with, like, hair. Hair. Knitting. Knitting, yeah.
Langston Kerman
That's another form of.
Alex English
We share that with you.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Reusing.
Alex English
Yeah.
David Bore
Has anybody those cookies?
Langston Kerman
I. I have, and they're ass.
Alex English
Yeah, I've seen. I've seen it. I've seen it with the proper contents before, but you always know it's going to end up being something else in, like, the next two weeks.
Langston Kerman
It really blows my mind that that many people bought them cookies because, like.
David Bore
You notice they only bought them once.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they ain't buying cookies.
Alex English
Yeah, that's true. You just needed somewhere to put your knitting products.
Langston Kerman
So I'll suffer through this first batch if it means my needles can go away.
Alex English
But I Can't remember a time where like, oh, yeah, even like how the Crisco can on the stove, you just go ahead and put your grease from your last. You know, now your chicken tastes like fish.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
The reusing.
Langston Kerman
They talk about that. The reusing of the grease. The sort of. Even the reusing of a large can to put the grease in and store is an example of something that specifically they're saying is sort of black rooted culture.
Alex English
So you know what I'm hearing? You know what I'm hearing a little bit.
David Bore
Do you guys. Or I want to see. Do you guys stretch body wash? And like, I have put a little.
Langston Kerman
Water in that bad boy.
Alex English
I'm in a different financial situation now. You know I'm not, bro. But no, no, no, no, no, no. But let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, Bori. It's not even about that. Because there have been days where I forgot that I didn't have enough body soap for the next wash.
David Bore
Yes.
Alex English
And yeah, it's getting. It's. The water's going in the bottle. So actually it ain't even about that. It's like sometimes you just be forgetting, like, oh, I didn't buy. I forgot to go get some more dove and you in the shower. So I'll say. Here's what I'm hearing also.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
Climate change, not niggas fault.
David Bore
Come on, let's go.
Langston Kerman
I like that.
Alex English
It's our problem. It's our problem. It is our problem.
Langston Kerman
I'm gonna be honest. It's our problem that we have to.
Alex English
Address because it affects us, but it's not our fault. It ain't got nothing to do with us.
David Bore
That's generational. I do feel like Jheri curl ass niggas set back for a time.
Langston Kerman
You can't exactly say you have a small carbon footprint when you are putting wet fumes in the air.
Alex English
So what you're saying is coming to America, however. However much was in, however much product they used was a part of the problem. They said in that specific scene, I hope I didn't have. I hope they didn't have to do that scene a bunch of times. Hopefully it was one take. I hope so. Glow was one take.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
Alex English
Damn.
David Bore
But everything. I think we're good.
Langston Kerman
One of the other things that they point to is even our relationship with food. Right? That specifically our food. Food was often viewed as these scraps for everybody else. It is food that they were essentially throwing away that they were like, here, you can have this, monkeys. And then we were able to build not just a meal at the time, but, like, an entire culture around the foods that were thrown away. Thus sort of reintroducing uses for animals and for byproducts in a way that. That others had not imagined in the past.
David Bore
Have you ever thought this just came to you? Ever thought how mad the slave masters must have been if they tried soul food and it was good?
Alex English
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They're doing what, like, you got to. You got to show pleasure from some shit that these, you know, less than made, like, holy shit. But they actually do things right and, like, better and, like, better than us. You have to admit to yourself, like, this is better. Arguably better.
Langston Kerman
Nigga Jim, come in here.
Alex English
Come here real quick. Yeah, come here.
Langston Kerman
So you're telling me this is the foot. Wait, wait, wait. Nigga Jim, you're telling me this is the foot because I gave this to you to make you feel small. Yeah, this is delicious.
Alex English
Yeah. Yeah. You meaning to tell me this actually has protein? Like, this actually has, like, health? This did improve my life.
Langston Kerman
This is so much better than Diane's greens. What is this?
David Bore
I gave those chitterlings to you as a joke.
Alex English
Yeah, Yeah. I did it to insult you.
Langston Kerman
I thought you would wrap it around your children's neck and call it jewelry. I didn't think you would.
Alex English
You mean to tell me you all are eating this food and then dab in your mouths, like, good, thank you, daddy, for the delicious meal.
David Bore
To Atlanta and sell it for $50 a plate. I'm tired of overpaying soul food. I'm just saying that that's fair.
Alex English
Hey, that's fair. That is fair. I was gonna say, this made me think of. Because I did also have one other thing that I was like, oh, well, maybe there's some concepts here that we probably aren't thinking about. Cause, like, look. Look there. I love it when we have to play the game of. Was that cartoon character black?
Langston Kerman
There we go. You're bringing it up for me. Thank you so much.
Alex English
And, you know, not very long ago, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, and we were watching tv, and I was like, have you ever seen that? He's from Brazil, so he does not know. He did not know. He didn't grow up watching. He didn't grow up watching, like, Nickelodeon. And so I turned on an episode of Doug for him, and I was like, there's his blue best friend. His friend is blue. And he was like, oh, okay. And I'm like, word up. But I need you to know something. While we watch this series. He's black. He's black. And now that I think about it, Roger Klotz is blacker because he's actually green. Because Skeeter has, like, blueness to him.
Langston Kerman
Skeeter's deeply blue. Roger.
Alex English
There was a lot of thought around him being black, but then I think about it, and I'm like, oh, well, Roger is like, you know, a black.
Langston Kerman
I'm gonna be honest with you. I never thought Roger was black.
Alex English
Never thought Roger was black.
David Bore
And maybe Mr. Dink.
Langston Kerman
Oh, Mr. Dink.
Alex English
I thought, oh. Because Mrs. Dink was giving Weezy Jefferson all the way. Like, I used to think that that was the actress who was voicing that character for a minute. That sound very much alike, but absolutely, absolutely. Mr. Dink. Mr. Dink. Yeah. Cause a nigga that wear. A nigga that wear a blazer with a turtleneck all year round. Yeah, that's a different. That's a black man. He getting into hijinks.
David Bore
Also, Bibi Bluff, she was very big.
Langston Kerman
Bluff was black.
Alex English
And see that. And that's why I appreciate. I appreciate that Patty Mayonnaise was Patty Mayonnaise, famously. Yeah, that show really gave you. Hey, we don't do colorism here. You can be black and be the mayor, the mayor's daughter. You can be the neighbor that's got money inventing stuff. You can be the girl that people want to date, and you can be the cool guy that know how to turn his body into all sorts of knots and shit like that.
David Bore
Yeah, but Roger was poor, right?
Alex English
Yeah, Roger was. Roger was poor. Yeah, Roger was. Was poor. Yeah, he was trash.
Langston Kerman
He was either a poor white or one of those. One of those Mexican dudes who, like, really likes the Ramones. You know what I mean?
David Bore
Like, you know exactly what you mean.
Alex English
Yeah, yeah, but Doug was inclusive.
Langston Kerman
But one of the things that. The last piece of research that I came across was sort of this suggestion that green in television does equate to black people. That, like, especially in media, we often are seeing these green characters, but they are, in fact, sort of like black aligned. Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy is green but black. Piccolo is green but black. They're. They. They list a bunch of examples, right?
Alex English
It's like Princess Tiana's, like, her. Isn't her gown green?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, she's a.
Alex English
Or is it.
Langston Kerman
Yes, it's like a green. It has, like, green and yellow in it, I think.
David Bore
Yeah, it's green, right?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, but her frog color is for sure.
Alex English
Her frog. O L V. Yeah, yeah, there you go.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. That we are. We are depicted as green in media, even when we are. We are not green in person. And they would argue that that is simply much in the way that you were saying that, like, green products are pitched to us. They are somehow finding our true green selves even as they deny our green history.
Alex English
Oh, damn. So when somebody says you're green with envy, that baby ain't racist.
Langston Kerman
Oh, somewhat.
Alex English
When you. That's. That's racism. Green being associated with envy now. Okay, us. Well, I do know some. I do know some hating ass niggas, so. Hey, maybe that.
Langston Kerman
Both can be true. I think both.
Alex English
Maybe both can be true.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. But that's kind of it. It seems. If I were to. I don't know. Bory, do you want to put a cap on this? Where you land in all of this?
David Bore
While this conspiracy theory does have angles that I like and appreciate, I am so dark skinned that I have to live in the now.
Langston Kerman
That's fair.
Alex English
I hear you.
Langston Kerman
Alex, where are you?
Alex English
Well, I want to say this. I'm so glad that this conversation is had between, I would say, is the gradient. You know, it's the gradient for the. For us like, me in the middle, me sandwiched in between the. I'm like, this is the perfect kind of conversation. Three black men of today, you know, should be. This is the perfect conversation.
Langston Kerman
It truly is. The evolutionary chart. Just. We need a green nigga on the other side of Bori.
Alex English
Yeah. To round it out, you know, like a true black man's roundtable.
Langston Kerman
Me to Alex to Bori to Piccolo. Yeah.
Alex English
I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna fall in line with, like, you know, it really does feel religious in a way where, like, there are things that I'm absolutely, in this conversation, going to straight up reject, but there are things that actually make me feel good in this conversation also where I'm like, well, I'm willing to. I'm willing to let that be my version of the truth of it, you know?
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I. I think. I think that the. The suggestion of green skin almost distracts from the good that is underneath this conversation.
Alex English
Yes.
Langston Kerman
I do not genuinely believe that black people used to be green, but I do fully believe that there is massive parts of our sort of, like, history that have been manipulated and. Or watered down.
Alex English
Our genealogy. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. That has been made less fantastical than they probably are. And in that way, we have not yet found our way back to our greatest potential. Like, that all seems possible, even if our skin remains exactly as it is.
Alex English
Yeah. It feels Inspired.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
Overall, I think this is a great conspiracy theory.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it really does.
David Bore
It's a great launch point.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Alex English
I think the tone of the conspiracy is to uplift and empower rather than, like, it feels like less of a call to action for, like, someone to do something drastic, you know? Or maybe, you know, somebody. Somebody's like, I want to come back, and they start, like, putting acid on their face.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I think. Yeah. You don't have to aspire to anything other than continuing to be your great self and presuming the best of your people and our futures. It truly. It has all the potential in the world to just make us feel good, unlike most of the conspiracies on this show, which are like, nigga, you're secretly getting whipped, and here's why and how. And it's like, all right. Yeah, I get it.
David Bore
Feelings. When it's just, like, real. Like, it'll be, yeah, outlandish shit. And then you're like, can't wait for my man Langston to dispel this rumor. And then it's just like, no, they're trying to get us.
Alex English
Look at that. Look at them engaging in Hollyweird again.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. So I. I think we all feel good, which is really nice. We did it. And. And, Alex, you want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?
Alex English
Well, you know, I'm out here in these streets. I'm about to be. I'm back. Back on the standup grind. You can check out New York After Dark on Peacock. That was a fun time. I'm on Alex English Instagram, A L, E, X English, but spelled English with the number three as the E. Yeah. Cause that's. You know, I still use. Use handles like. Like Black Planet, like, Black planet pages. And AlexEnglish Co is my website where I'll be posting all future dates. And those will be. Those will be announced soon when A get let go from his job, like, for, like, in comedy. And then he's like, oh, I got to figure out my date. Just follow me online. Follow me online and you'll see me post some, and I'll be in your town.
Langston Kerman
So this whole area, this whole time is open?
Alex English
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
David Bore
All right.
Alex English
I could have been asking for days, but, yeah, I'll be around. I'll be out and around.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, boy, what you got?
David Bore
Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram, patreon.com backslash David Bori, G B O R I, E. My special Birth of a nation with the G is available for purchase there is so good. Everybody's having a great time. They love the Patreon as always.
Langston Kerman
You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. Watch my special it's called Bad Poetry. If you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us what color skin the white man used to be before he got here, send it all to mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. Rate review like subscribe wash your ass okay Bye bitch. I actually am 1.4% Nigerian African I'm a sister okay My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I My Heart.
David Bore
Podcast created and hosted by Langston Kern.
Langston Kerman
Co hosted by David Bore executive produced.
David Bore
By Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.
Langston Kerman
Co produced by Bay Wayne Edited and.
David Bore
Engineered by Justin Kah Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger.
Langston Kerman
You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to Our Channel.
Ryan Seacrest
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Langston Kerman
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Content Warning: This summary includes quotes containing racial slurs and sensitive topics discussed in the podcast episode "It Ain't Easy Being Green (with Alex English)" from the "My Momma Told Me" podcast. Reader discretion is advised.
Podcast Information:
In this episode, hosts Langston Kerman and David Bore welcome comedian and writer Alex English to discuss a unique and unconventional conspiracy theory: the claim that Black people historically possessed green skin. The conversation blends humor with speculative analysis, exploring the origins, implications, and cultural aspects surrounding this theory.
Key Quote:
Alex English introduces the topic by sharing how he stumbled upon the theory through TikTok, where a community is actively promoting the idea that Black people were once green. The hosts express both skepticism and curiosity, pondering the historical and biological plausibility of such a claim.
Key Quote:
Langston Kerman brings up historical narratives and mythologies that hint at a more mystical origin for Black identity. Referencing historian Bobby Hemmett, he discusses theories about ancient Black people possessing god-like powers and attributes, suggesting that the green skin theory could be a symbolic representation of lost or suppressed ancestral strength.
Key Quote:
The hosts delve into the biological aspects, comparing melanin (responsible for skin pigmentation) with chlorophyll and questioning whether the green skin theory holds any scientific merit. They discuss the role of melanin in skin color and explore the absurdity of the idea that natural evolution could result in green skin without any ecological pressure or advantages.
Key Quote:
Alex English shifts the conversation to cultural practices often attributed to Black communities, such as the reuse of materials and sustainable living. They humorously connect these practices to the green skin theory, suggesting that environmental sustainability reflects an inherent 'greenness' in cultural identity.
Key Quote:
The discussion moves to how media portrays Black characters, often using green hues or objects to symbolize aspects of their identity. They cite examples from television and film, questioning whether such representations are reinforcing stereotypes or hinting at deeper, unspoken narratives.
Key Quote:
A significant portion of the conversation tackles colorism within the Black community, debating the implications of skin tone labels like "minty" versus "chocolate." They explore how these labels can carry both empowering and derogatory connotations, reflecting broader societal perceptions of race and identity.
Key Quote:
Note: The use of the racial slur in the quote is reflective of the original conversation and is presented here for accurate contextual representation.
Langston Kerman emphasizes the importance of reclaiming and reinterpreting historical narratives to empower the Black community. He suggests that even if the green skin theory is unfounded, the underlying message of reconnecting with a lost or hidden heritage holds significant value for cultural identity and empowerment.
Key Quote:
As the episode nears its end, the hosts and guest reconcile the fantastical elements of the green skin theory with practical and empowering aspects of Black identity. They acknowledge the theory's lack of scientific basis but appreciate its role in sparking imaginative discussions about heritage, representation, and self-empowerment.
Key Quote:
David Bore [58:50]:
"While this conspiracy theory does have angles that I like and appreciate, I am so dark skinned that I have to live in the now."
Langston Kerman [60:57]:
"I do not genuinely believe that Black people used to be green, but I do fully believe that there are massive parts of our history that have been manipulated...and we have not yet found our way back to our greatest potential."
Final Thoughts:
The episode "It Ain't Easy Being Green" offers a blend of humor, skepticism, and cultural analysis as the hosts and Alex English navigate the peculiar conspiracy theory surrounding the historical skin color of Black people. Through engaging dialogue and critical examination, they balance entertaining speculation with meaningful discussions on identity, representation, and empowerment.