My Momma Told Me – “Justice for Melvin!” (with Will Miles)

Release Date: September 9, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
Guest: Will Miles

Episode Overview

This episode of My Momma Told Me is a freewheeling, hilarious discussion between Langston, David, and guest comedian/writer Will Miles. While the podcast is usually dedicated to exploring Black conspiracy theories, today’s installment—“Justice for Melvin”—leans into comedic banter about Black pop culture, the way society perceives Blackness, and the media narratives around it. The trio riff on everything from nostalgic films like Baby Boy, make a case for Melvin’s side of the story, and jump into theories about SeaWorld and modern “slave narratives.” They also respond to voice messages from listeners, including a spot-on theory about smoke detector beeps in Black people’s videos online.

Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter: Robots, Drawers, and Panties

Timestamp: 02:43–04:28

• The group riffs on the idea that Will.i.am is a robot, poking fun at his futuristic persona.
• The conversation segues into a playful debate about the difference between "drawers" and "panties."
  • Quote: “What's the difference between drawers and panties?” (Langston, 04:07)
  • Quote: “Size.” (Langston, 04:10)
• The hosts joke about masculinity, language, and cultural terminology, imagining scenarios where a tough guy like Ving Rhames (from Baby Boy) would refer to his underwear as "panties."

2. Justice for Melvin: Pitching ‘Baby Boy 2: Melvin’s Story’

Timestamp: 06:43–08:11

• The trio imagines a sequel or spin-off to Baby Boy told from Melvin’s perspective.
• They speculate about Melvin’s backstory, including the actual “three strikes” that landed him in trouble.
• Quote: “We don’t need Baby Boy, too. We need Baby Boy from the perspective of Ving Rhames’s character.” (David, 06:43)
• Discussion turns to the criminal justice system, systemic racism, and how Black men like Melvin are policed for minor infractions rather than real violence.

3. Mental Health & ‘Baby Boy’ Characters

Timestamp: 09:26–10:25

• Analysis of the psychological health of movie characters.
• Langston and Will suggest that “crazy” looks different for Black men due to how society criminalizes instead of seeking to understand them.
• Talk of undiagnosed mental health conditions among Black men in media and real life.
• “They’ll put us in jail before they label us autistic. There’s something to think about.” (David, 09:30)

4. Books, Black Literature, and Social Media Fame

Timestamp: 11:13–13:54

• Will shares his (limited) love for literature, mentioning Fat City and Shakespeare’s Complete Works.
• The hosts joke that Instagram-famous authors like Quan Mills and writers of Black urban fiction deserve shelf space alongside Shakespeare.
• Hilariously discuss classmates who became Walmart-level erotic fiction writers and celebrity alumni from their respective high schools (including Top Chef contestants and Michelle Obama).

5. School Rivalries and R. Kelly’s Victimology

Timestamp: 15:21–16:09

• Langston and David joke about Chicago schools, noting that R. Kelly “only targeted the good schools.”
• Candid reflection on how dangerous men find prestige in status, even in victimizing.

6. Church, Megachurch Pastors, and Double Entendres

Timestamp: 20:19–22:51

• The hosts riff on a viral “meat stretcher” church clip, reading subtext into megachurch sermons.
• Langston launches a conspiracy: megachurch pastors intentionally add sexual double meanings to amuse themselves and their inner circle.
• Quote: “I think that megachurch pastors are trolling.” (Langston, 21:23)
• Will and David contend that they may simply be “evil,” but they all agree on the performative, showbiz nature of big Black churches.

7. Black Elon Musk & Shade Room Ownership Conspiracy

Timestamp: 23:00–24:00

• Brief foray into rumors that T.D. Jakes owns The Shade Room (“the TMZ of Black Instagram”). They quickly fact-check and lampshade the ease of being duped by online conspiracy theories.
• Quote: “We all get got.” (Will, 24:09)

8. Cult Leaders and Building Planes in the Air

Timestamp: 24:26–25:40

• Extended metaphor about cult leaders “building the plane while flying it.”
• Compare 19 Kids & Counting to cult behavior; discuss the danger of legacy obsession and narcissism in large families.

9. SeaWorld Performances, Black Entertainers, and Slavery Conspiracies

Timestamp: 26:36–27:42

• Langston riffs on seeing “cool Black performers” at SeaWorld, suggesting it’s a plot to make Black people comfortable with slavery again.
• Quote: “They are getting all these cool Black performers to do that, to get us comfortable with slavery again.” (Langston, 26:59)
• The group links animal subjugation/entertainment to historical and modern-day social control.

10. Reality TV as Imprisonment: Love Island, Surveillance & Psychological Warfare

Timestamp: 29:43–34:52

• Hosts draw parallels between reality TV (especially Love Island) and imprisonment.
• Unpack the psychological torture and forced interactions, noting how reality TV is engineered for maximum drama—by isolating, depriving, and constantly surveilling participants.
• “Reality TV is set up like torture.” (Will, 30:57)
• Question whether marriage itself, if performed under ‘Love Island’ conditions, could even survive.

11. Listener Voicemail: The Great ‘Smoke Detector Beep’ Black Psyop

Timestamp: 40:39–44:40

• A listener calls in with the theory that beeping smoke detectors in Black people’s viral videos are AI or government edits meant to distract and demean Black voices.
• Quote (Listener): “Someone…is editing in all of these smoke detector beeps in Black people's videos as a psyop. There's no way that every time a Black person gets ready to make a cogent point online that a smoke detector beep just happens to go off.” (40:39)
• The hosts enthusiastically agree, joking about “BlackAnon” (their version of QAnon) and how quickly a smoke detector beep derails comment sections.
• They agree that the “beep” meme is exaggerated and weaponized to undermine Black online credibility.
• Quote: “They're really making us animals in a way that doesn't feel true.” (Langston, 43:38)
• Quote: “It’s beep gate 100%.” (Langston, 44:23)

12. Black Features, AI, and Deepfakes

Timestamp: 44:40–46:26

• Paranoia about how AI and deepfake technology are being used to control narratives, especially when it comes to Black content online.
• Share an example of a completely fabricated viral story about a SeaWorld whale trainer death, which turns out to be a deepfake—increasing existential anxiety over what’s real.

13. The Matrix, Black Creators, and Media Control Conspiracies

Timestamp: 47:06–48:32

• The myth that a Black woman wrote The Matrix and The Terminator is discussed (and debunked).
• The group jokes about how society loves conspiracies that credit Black creators—until the storylines get too elaborate.

14. AI, Surveillance, and the Loss of Agency

Timestamp: 48:39–49:22

• Discussion around the idea that AI and social media know so much about us, they can feed us not only specific content, but potentially fake realities.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We don’t need Baby Boy 2. We need Baby Boy from the perspective of Ving Rhames’s character.” (David, 06:43)
• “They’ll put us in jail before they label us autistic.” (David, 09:30)
• “I think that megachurch pastors are trolling.” (Langston, 21:23)
• “They're really making us animals in a way that doesn't feel true.” (Langston, 43:38)
• “It’s beep gate 100%.” (Langston, 44:23)
• “They're getting all these cool black performers to do [SeaWorld], to get us comfortable with slavery again.” (Langston, 26:59)
• “Reality TV is set up like torture.” (Will, 30:57)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:43 — Will.i.am as robot/futurist, “drawers” vs. “panties” debate
• 06:43 — Pitching Baby Boy: Melvin’s Story, criminal justice system
• 09:26 — Black mental health and autism diagnosis in the system
• 11:13 — Will’s reading habits, Quan Mills, Instagram-famous authors
• 15:21 — Chicago school rivalry and R. Kelly’s victim preferences
• 20:19 — “Meat stretcher” and megachurch trolling theory
• 23:00 — Shade Room/T. D. Jakes conspiracy
• 24:26 — Cult leadership, “building the plane while flying it”
• 26:36 — SeaWorld, Black entertainers, conditioning on subjugation
• 29:43 — Reality TV as psychological punishment
• 40:39 — Listener voicemail: ‘beep’ psyop in Black videos
• 44:40 — Black features, AI bias, deepfakes, fake SeaWorld tragedy
• 47:06 — Black creators and ‘Matrix’ authorship myth
• 48:39 — AI, surveillance, loss of narrative control

Conclusion

This episode is less a deep dive into a single Black conspiracy theory and more a showcase of comedic chemistry, wild riffs, and collective theorizing on how media, tech, and institutions play psychological games with Black Americans. Will Miles blends seamlessly into the “BlackAnon” improv, and the group’s paranoid sensibilities both lampoon and genuinely interrogate pop culture and society. If you want laughter, sly insights, a little dread about the future, and uncensored takes on Black culture—this one’s a must-listen.

Where to Find the Comedians

• Will Miles: Instagram @coolguyjokes87, comedy special Birth of a Nation (800 Pound Gorilla, September 9th)
• David Gborie: Instagram @huskyniggafits (“all my AI fits will be bory”)
• Langston Kerman: @langstonkerman; Aspiring Deadbeat Tour in various cities

Listener Call to Action

• Send conspiracy theories or thoughts to mymamapodmail@gmail.com or call 844-LIL-MOMS