Kwanzaa Is On The Come Up! (with Al Jackson)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Mama Told Me"
Episode: Kwanzaa Is On The Come Up! (with Al Jackson)
Release Date: December 24, 2024
Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Gborie
Guest: Al Jackson

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Introduction

In this festive holiday episode of My Mama Told Me, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by guest Al Jackson to explore the rising prominence of Kwanzaa. The discussion delves into the cultural significance of Kwanzaa, its potential to gain mainstream recognition, and the challenges it faces in a landscape dominated by established holidays like Christmas and Juneteenth.

Kwanzaa’s Cultural Significance and Origins

Al Jackson begins by sharing his personal connection to Kwanzaa, highlighting the lack of exposure he and others had during their upbringing. He reflects:

Al Jackson [20:31]: "My relationship with Kwanzaa has been slight to nonexistent most of my life."

Jackson credits his progressive mother for introducing him to Kwanzaa in the 1980s, a time when the festival was not widely recognized or celebrated outside certain communities. He emphasizes the holiday's core principles of unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith.

The Evolution of Kwanzaa’s Popularity

The hosts discuss the potential trajectory of Kwanzaa's popularity, drawing parallels with the recent mainstream adoption of Juneteenth. Langston Kerman raises concerns about the rapid commercialization and dilution of cultural significance:

David Gborie [78:38]: "But, yeah, this is gonna be popular. But it's like, that's the same thing with Kwanzaa. Is Kwanzaa gonna morph into pumpkin pie or is it gonna stay sweet potato pie?"

They ponder whether Kwanzaa will maintain its cultural integrity or become another commodified holiday stripped of its original meanings.

Comparison with Other Holidays

The conversation shifts to comparing Kwanzaa with other significant holidays:

• Christmas: Discussed as a deeply ingrained tradition that may be losing its sentimental value among younger generations due to the overabundance of gifts and the immediacy brought by online shopping.

  Al Jackson [22:32]: "Now the immediacy. My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad. Like, they don't care about their Halloween candy. They don't care about Christmas."

• Juneteenth: Highlighted as a holiday that gained national recognition recently, emphasizing the role of social media and public advocacy in its rising prominence.

  Al Jackson [33:09]: "But to that point, Juneteenth is now. It seems pretty ubiquitous."

• Pride: Used as an example of how cultural celebrations can be embraced widely, sometimes leading to tension within the communities that originated them.

  David Gborie [80:21]: "Look how crossover straight white ladies love. Pride and straight white guys go to pride because straight white ladies are at pride."

The Role of Social Media and Popular Culture

Social media's influence on the spread and transformation of cultural holidays is a crucial topic. The hosts discuss how platforms like TikTok can both amplify and distort the meanings of holidays:

David Gborie [36:01]: "It reminds me a little bit. I've been watching the Menendez brothers stuff. [...] But part of the reason that the Menendez brothers are now getting like this, this new trial, was in part because a bunch of TikTok kids started unpacking their story."

They explore the idea that while social media can democratize cultural narratives, it can also lead to oversimplification and misrepresentation.

Challenges and Concerns about Co-opting and Commodification

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the risks associated with Kwanzaa gaining widespread popularity:

• Cultural Dilution: The fear that Kwanzaa's profound cultural roots may be overshadowed by superficial celebrations devoid of their original intent.

  Langston Kerman [78:44]: "It's a constant struggle."

• Commercial Exploitation: Concerns about corporations co-opting Kwanzaa for profit, similar to how other cultural elements have been commercialized.

  David Gborie [81:44]: "But it's more of an American thing... it's like what's being offered up in culture that isn't eventually going to be co-opted by corporations."

• Maintaining Authenticity: The hosts debate whether Kwanzaa can retain its authenticity while seeking broader acceptance.

  Al Jackson [55:58]: "But until she can come with a real argument for what our belief is, I'm not buying this shit until she does."

Personal Anecdotes and Stories

Throughout the episode, personal stories and anecdotes are shared to illustrate broader themes:

• Transitioning Generations: Both hosts reflect on how their perceptions and celebrations of holidays have evolved with changing times and societal norms.

  Langston Kerman [70:52]: "It's tough because I recently realized I ran out of, like, all the knowledge I acquired from reading in my youth."

• Cultural Practices in Different Eras: Discussions about how cultural practices and societal expectations have shifted over the years, impacting how holidays are celebrated.

  David Gborie [67:14]: "What the slip and slide all stars."

Conclusion: Hosts’ Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Langston and David express cautious optimism about Kwanzaa's future. They hope that Kwanzaa can grow in prominence without losing its cultural essence, serving as a unifying force within the Black community:

Langston Kerman [81:36]: "I pray that Kwanzaa somehow becomes the miracle holiday. If there is a miracle inside of Kwanzaa, I think the miracle would be Kwanzaa, by some miracle being the first holiday that remains at its core fully black, but also gains the popularity that it deserves in unifying black people."

They acknowledge the fine balance between embracing a cultural holiday and protecting its foundational principles from becoming mere commercialized festivities.

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Notable Quotes:

• Al Jackson [22:32]: "Now the immediacy. My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad. Like, they don't care about their Halloween candy. They don't care about Christmas."

• David Gborie [80:21]: "Look how crossover straight white ladies love. Pride and straight white guys go to pride because straight white ladies are at pride."

• Langston Kerman [81:36]: "I pray that Kwanzaa somehow becomes the miracle holiday. If there is a miracle inside of Kwanzaa, I think the miracle would be Kwanzaa, by some miracle being the first holiday that remains at its core fully black, but also gains the popularity that it deserves in unifying black people."

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting the main discussions on Kwanzaa's cultural importance, its potential mainstream adoption, and the associated challenges. Notable quotes are included to emphasize key insights and perspectives shared by the hosts and guest.

Transcript

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[Comedy Announcer]

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[Apple Music Voice]

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[Oscar Mayer Voice]

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[Truck Week Voice]

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[Oscar Mayer Voice]

12 hours of Oscar Meyer smoking thick cut bacon for half the day, they're still smoking that bacon. If you're driven by your love of smoky thick cut bacon, keep it Oscar. If you've got a plan to eat smoky thick cut bacon, keep it Oscar. Stay farming. DJ Dramos from Life as a Gringo.

[Apple Music Voice]

No.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow.

[Apple Music Voice]

In my family, one of the biggest points of contention was finances. And I know as I gotten older I made it a promise to myself to say I don't want to relive that. You know, hiring somebody to do credit repair for me. That was a gift that I gave myself that allowed me to then get my first apartment, then eventually buy my own home. Like these are all things that are possible.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of my Cultura podcast network.

[Apple Music Voice]

And the fact that like ballroom dancers are wearing those and they're dancing backwards in high heels. That's banana grams though.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's nuts.

[Truck Week Voice]

Women are strong. I've always said it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You have always said that.

[Truck Week Voice]

I've always said that.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I've argued with you a few times but you've always said it.

[Truck Week Voice]

I've said let em loose I say don't lower the rim.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Raise it, raise it up.

[Truck Week Voice]

Put them in heels and raise it up.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think they haven't tapped into their true potential. They're like Gohan, they just need the right trigger.

[Truck Week Voice]

Get them Super Saiyan.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

The government growing babies microchips in your 80s all koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money Washington.

[Apple Music Voice]

Bending, Dirty Stu, y'all can't tell me nothing.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Gentiles and little mamas alike, to another phenomenal episode of.

[Truck Week Voice]

My Mama Told Me the podcast, where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And we finally work to prove that the bpm, the beats per minute of the Cupid Shuffle, are engineered at a specific frequency that is meant to enter the black brain and create order in the black community. Casper, he wasn't just giving us a hit. He was giving us organization. Thank you for your work, sir. We miss you every day. Rip Gone for not forgotten Gonford, but not forgotten. And I don't know that I know his real name.

[Truck Week Voice]

I don't know. I don't know his face.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I knew he had a Kangol.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Oh, man. I knew it was an old nigga and a Kangol who I am always.

[Truck Week Voice]

Inclined to listen to.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, he was a real. He dressed, I think, through the whole of his life like we dressed during that era where people got dressed up in the club.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, the sweater vest.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. He would, like, keep a blazer and a Kango on, but jeans.

[Truck Week Voice]

Can I say, this is embarrassing. I was maybe the brokest I had been in my adult life at that point. I did not participate in the business casual in the club.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what? History's gonna shine nicely on you because of that.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, that's a good way to look at it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? Like, I did. I was wearing bow ties in the club.

[Truck Week Voice]

You seem like you.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I was in a bad way. I was buying clothes and being like. Cause I was a teacher at the time. I was like, I could wear these to school and to the club. And that's a bad situation.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's never. At that age, if you're wearing your work clothes out, it's a problem, dude.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was how I designed it.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, man. Cause I'm not gonna lie. Like There weren't a couple days I left Target, just took the name tag off, went to a party. I don't love it. I don't love it. But like, yeah, that's never a good situation.

[Apple Music Voice]

You guys gotta factor the dress code in. Remember, it was a different dress.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's true. That's true.

[Apple Music Voice]

Especially at black clubs. Direct response to, like, the saggy jeans, big T shirt era.

[Truck Week Voice]

The G unit jackets of the time.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. Where everybody looked like a runner in the wire. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of clubs pushed back on that with their no hats with logos on them that kind of, like, coded language.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was a strict dress code at the time. And now I think most places are pretty. Like, if you look good, you can come in. But there was a strict dress code where it was like, you cannot have on anything that even resembles clothes that we consider, like, ethnic, urban, whatever the fuck it is.

[Truck Week Voice]

The rubber sold shoes used to piss me off.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was crazy because that's like, of.

[Truck Week Voice]

All the things that I'm not going to get hard, sold shoes is the one that I'm not going to, bro.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We all had on flat bottoms. That's crazy.

[Truck Week Voice]

Crazy.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

But I knew cats that had a backup pair of, like, nicer khakis, nicer shoes, in case. Because it would ruin your night if four of the homies got in and they were like, those are sweatpants, not jeans. You're like, no, look at the material. These are Dyer fashion argument with the bouncer, like, you're not getting in.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You mean that dude in a black T shirt? Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

He ain't gonna.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

He's not gonna get it. That this is, like, fashion innovation. Our guest today, you're already hearing from him. We're so happy he's here. We're in Denver. We're at Dude Idk Studios, the finest establishment we've ever been at in Denver. I would say we've never been anywhere else, but this is the best.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. This is top tier. I shot my special in here.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You shot your special here?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And it seems impossible, but.

[Truck Week Voice]

Is this beanie crazy?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You look great.

[Truck Week Voice]

Is it crazy?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You look gorgeous, man.

[Truck Week Voice]

It's like a little guy. Cool beanie. When you said I had a beanie, I was like, okay. And then it was like, smaller than I'm used to.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I'm sorry, man.

[Truck Week Voice]

No, it's not. You didn't do anything. This was like. Cause of the Santa.

[Pets Best Voice]

Ha.

[Truck Week Voice]

We had a whole debacle before.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Our guest today has nothing to do with any of this debacle I'm sorry, I just. He's truly been a victim the entire.

[Apple Music Voice]

Time I was staring at the beanie. Cause you can't tell how big they are. And then you go to tug down and pull it down over your ears, and it has no give. It don't go. No give. And you're like, I gotta commit to this. But that's like. You need a tough. The hair beanie and we don't have that.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, so this is not good.

[Apple Music Voice]

No, it's a good look. You just gotta commit to it. It works with the jacket. Old school.

[Truck Week Voice]

Cause he tossed it to me. It was light.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

That I'm used to.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. I was already like material than this.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. This doesn't have the weight.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

This don't feel like I'll be wearing.

[Truck Week Voice]

I'm used to a 45. You gave me a 38.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I'm sorry, man.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's okay.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think you're doing fine. And I'm so happy that our guest is here not wearing any shitty clothing. You look great.

[Apple Music Voice]

Paint on my pants. Like a concerned dad. This podcast, which I am so, like. Yeah, Shout out.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Neck on Jesus person. I'm a huge fan of. You're a huge fan of. You know him from Comedy Central. You know him from his work on fx. You know him from his work on the goddamn news. You do the news sometimes?

[Apple Music Voice]

I used to. That show has been canceled.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Okay.

[Apple Music Voice]

Well, yeah, I did the news for seven years, man. You know, you in this business, Dave. You in this business? It's just like, that was a great run.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Do something else now.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No, you've done it all, and it all is amazing. And more importantly, you're an amazing comedian. And we're so happy he's here with us. Give it up for Al Jackson, everybody.

[Apple Music Voice]

O. Do we have to say give it up when we all know each other and there's no one here?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We usually press a button and then there's like a sound effect that would follow it. And I didn't keep that in account when I said, give it up, so.

[Apple Music Voice]

Well, I still appreciate it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Thank you. I'll take it up. And there were times I started my comedy career in South Florida, in Miami. And it was a different world for standup in that. Like doing black rooms early in your career when you weren't good. Anyway, sometimes you would just walk into a nightclub. Thursday, it's ladies night. No one knows their standup. No one knows. And then they just stop the music. Trick daddy going, that's. Hey, we got some comedians Here. And just the intros would just. All right, y'all. Now, you know we don't boo here. You know we don't boo here. All right, so we're gonna show him some respect. I'm like, God damn. It's like. But if I didn't book him. But be respectful. I'm like, just bring me. You know, it's like, oh, just. Just, please just bring me.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You would do better pulling the cord and just letting me talk than prefacing this with like, look, I've never met this boy in my life. It scares me that he's here. But we got to be respectful. Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Also, there's no joke. I can tell that's better than the Slip and Slide All Stars.

[Apple Music Voice]

Oh, man. You know what I mean? What a period of hip hop.

[Truck Week Voice]

Come on, take the house.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, dude.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You're from. You're from Florida?

[Apple Music Voice]

From Cleveland. I went down to Florida for grad school, and then I taught middle school, like. You?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Did you teach middle school?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I taught high school.

[Apple Music Voice]

High school, yeah. I taught middle school for five years and started doing open mics at night. But, yeah, so I started my career in South Florida, but I'm from Cleveland.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

But you were there when the trick daddy reign was supreme.

[Truck Week Voice]

That seems like one of the golden eras of the world.

[Apple Music Voice]

It was just. It was the last, I feel like, period of time where the world was like the wild, wild west. Like, the apartment complex I was in was a place where those people don't exist anymore because now those people have been fired and let go, and now they've been replaced with 27 year olds that are serious about their career. Maintenance men, smoking blunts, walking down the hallway. I like that you go down to the office because your sync isn't working, and the woman just tells you, well, what the fuck do you want me to do about that? Like, to your face?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yes.

[Apple Music Voice]

Like, there's no. I mean, just. It was a wild time in life, you know, And I think it was good for me. And I wonder if there's like a part of everybody that wasn't alive and kind of an adult of that period that is trying to get back to just a little where it's not even. It's so. You know, even if you're in Vegas, your wife is like, why are you still at the Aria? I'm looking at your location. You know, it's like, it's hard to just. Vegas used to be just a place where you could just go and be a dirtbag. Coke, booze, strippers, and then Come back and assume your normal life again and just, like, have that outlet.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

There is no.

[Truck Week Voice]

There's no dirtbag release.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

There's no what happens in anywhere. You know what I mean? Like, it's. Everything is documented, and if it isn't documented, it could be documented. And in that way, it forces people to never release fully into, like, oh, I'm just a scum. I'm just scum for a little while.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Now the problem is they funnel it into YouTube comments.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

You know what I mean? And, like, places on the Internet where it doesn't feel good to release.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

You know what I mean? But it's like, if you could just go to Vegas once a year, kill a prostitute with your boys, maybe you don't have to be so mean to these female comedians on YouTube.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. That's what's missing is a dead sex.

[Truck Week Voice]

Worker that's obviously going crazy. But I do think that maybe you need to be able to go out and get nuts. I went to New Orleans just recently, and it was just not. It just the tone of it feels like it shifted a little bit, even on Bourbon street and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Are there just people taking video of themselves? I feel like there's a. There needs to be a place where you know that you're not gonna be videoed, and that's even at strip clubs. Even when. Who's a John Morant out here in Denver?

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

He had the strap with him at the strip club.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Not great. But that's not our business.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No.

[Apple Music Voice]

And it affected his career, and it's just like, athletes can't go to the strip club. You're 22, you know, or whatever.

[Truck Week Voice]

I'm 22, and I make millions of dollars, and I can't party with a naked woman and a gun.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And those strippers weren't scared.

[Truck Week Voice]

No.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? Like, whatever. Whatever he was doing with that gun. And again, not my version of a great time, but, like, whatever he was doing, he made it clear with everybody around him, this is okay. No, they're good.

[Truck Week Voice]

They thought. Inside sources say they thought he was being corny. They weren't like, oh, he's gonna shoot us.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No, they were just like.

[Truck Week Voice]

It was like, why are him and his boys all hanging out with their shirts off, not talking to us?

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. We're next to a target.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's the thing, bro. People need to know that about that, is that it is next to a target. Whoa. It shares a parking lot with a target.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Whoa.

[Truck Week Voice]

And a chick Fil a anything you need on that block. Which is pretty cool.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

But yeah, it wasn't like.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's a greater problem where just like I think that I was able to like when I decided to stop drinking, chill out and just be a normal person, I got all that out of me. And it was a lot in there. It was a lot. I was a wild dude. And now I'm just like, I don't need to be there, I'm good. I know they having fun, but like I've seen it kind of manifest with some of my friends my age, I'm 47. Where they did the right thing straight through college, straight through graduate school, got the job, house, wife, perfect life. And they're like, do you want to go to a beach party in Vegas? No, they're 26 year olds. Like, you look like a silent partner here. You don't look like you should be mixing it up. But they're still trying to get their, their 27 year old selves back. So I don't know, I'm glad I got that out.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I feel closer probably to what they were in that. I don't know that I got like all my rocks off before I got married and like settled into a life. And I do know now more than ever that like, oh, I'm just never going to have it. Like, there's no version where I get to go party on the beach with a bunch of bad bitches and pretend like that's my life again. It just isn't. You know what I mean? And that's cool. Like I love my family, I love the life that I built, but you just have to settle into the fact that like them days were available, you didn't access them quite as much as you should have. And you'll live with that, you know what I mean? You'll have to satiate in different ways, but it ain't happening with the bad bitches on the beach.

[Truck Week Voice]

I was just gonna say, do you think you want it more in theory than you do in practice? But that's just saying of course you want it in practice.

[Apple Music Voice]

I don't know if you do.

[Truck Week Voice]

You think so? I don't know, like one day? Like a day?

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, I mean, in theory, but I think in the fantasies that we all have about like whatever scenario that you want to paint, whether it's you and six models in a penthouse, wherever I was, I did this old school hip hop show and they're playing Jay Z and he had that line, I Got six model chicks, six bottles of crisp. And I was thinking, like, the Al now would hate to be at the bar with six models and like, just trying to, like, wrangle them to go and be like, yo, where Jessica? Come on. She put her card down. My card is down. No, you paid your. I would be so frustrated. Cause I'm old now. But like, I did that, and that was the point.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You want to go? You want to go.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. And I wonder if dudes, when they do their fantasy, take their personality into that fantasy.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think that's often the problem. Right. And it's something I think I was aware of even at a younger age, was like, I would watch the dudes who were really, like, saucing with women and really, like, going crazy out there. And I watched how they talked to people and how they, like, moved with people. And I knew I didn't have that in me.

[Truck Week Voice]

That is. You will learn that. First time you go to a nightclub and you're like, oh, that's not what I'm doing.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And that's the problem. It's not that I didn't want to do it.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? I just didn't have it.

[Truck Week Voice]

No. True.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And I know even now, like, even with my resources and whatever, I'm gonna be around six baddies and I'm not gonna talk to him like a man that gets six baddies.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. You're gonna try. You're gonna try to interject stand up comedy into the conversation.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I'm gonna fuck around and bring up Attack on Titan and then it's ruined.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's true. That's true. Cause I have had myself in bad bitch situations where I was not converting. Very nervous. And then that feels even worse than the idea.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's why I don't want to be around you.

[Truck Week Voice]

Making it happen is a bad feeling. That's a low where you're like, I got the. I got in.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

If you didn't go, you can sleep.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's true.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

If you went and you bombed. You awake.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You feel that?

[Truck Week Voice]

That's a tough night.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Damn.

[Apple Music Voice]

But also, their personalities might not. Like, we could hang out in any scenario. And I feel like it would be funny, serious at some points, but just, like, interactive because of the way we talk to each other. But a model, for the most part, is probably not used to comedic banter.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No.

[Apple Music Voice]

And that's not a shot against models. But the people that they interact with are people with yachts and the people that are short with them. Like, be ready at 9. The chopper will pick you up on the roof. And she's like, okay. They're not ready for, like, David's witty banter.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No. I'm like, I have to be funny.

[Truck Week Voice]

Or the back end of the night when you find out I'm sad.

[Apple Music Voice]

You think you first man to cry in front of me.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's fair.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. Well, we're glad you've changed your ways. We're glad you're here with us today on our most Christian episode, I would say. Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Merry Christmas.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Merry Christmas. It's our holiday episode. We're excited to have you here, Al. And you came to us with a conspiracy. You came to us with, I would say, a denser conspiracy than we're going to articulate it as. But we're excited to hear you fully unpack this thing. It's, I think, gonna evolve as you explain it. But you basically said, my mama told me Kwanzaa is on the come up.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Tell us everything you believe.

[Truck Week Voice]

Please get into it.

[Apple Music Voice]

My relationship with Kwanzaa has been slight to non existent most of my life. My mom was a very progressive black woman. Like I always said. Like, she had us eating quinoa, like in 89 when no one knew.

[Truck Week Voice]

Damn.

[Apple Music Voice]

Like health food store. Like the same kind of store that has, like, carrot juice. You know, like one of them co ops where you like, why it smells weird in here. It smells like raw vegetables and radishes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You like, why do I have to go to the bag? Yeah, that doesn't seem right.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's like my mom was on that grinding her own coffee bean. She was like, when everybody's going like, yuppie, big cell phone. My mom was just very like, of progressive. And so she introduced Kwanzaa, but like introducing Kwanzaa in 1986 to a couple black kids in Cleveland. It's like, wait, one gift and no one knows what I'm talking about? And I don't know how to say it, and I won't say it like Kwanzaa. There was no place, there was no fertile ground for it to grow. But as I look at my kids, who are. I can't barely call them kids anymore, 17, 16 and 10. And how they react to not only Christmas, but Halloween, Thanksgiving to a lesser extent. Kids don't care about their Halloween candy. They don't care about Christmas. Because before the Internet, if you wanted something, you threw hints all year.

[Truck Week Voice]

I want this.

[Apple Music Voice]

I want this dirt mini dirt bike. And you say, January, March, November, throwing it out to Santa.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Now you could just get it. And so the immediacy. My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad. Like, they'd be up like nine. Like, we were up at 4:30 getting yelled. Go back to bed. Parents still wrapping gifts down there, you know? So the idea of Christmas and the immediacy or the excitement of what they got is gone. It does not exist.

[Truck Week Voice]

Interesting.

[Apple Music Voice]

And I look at these kids now, and that just on its own is very creepy. But I look at these, like, girls, my daughter. I look at these kids.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I look at these kids.

[Apple Music Voice]

They, like, they don't know I'm looking.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

At.

[Apple Music Voice]

But no, it's like they are incredibly emotionally articulate. My daughter and her friends and the way they talk to each other, and they're like, sometimes we'll just get on a zoom call and we'll give each other positive affirmations. I'm like, what?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's crazy, bro.

[Truck Week Voice]

How old is she?

[Apple Music Voice]

Seventeen. But, like, I know people 20 years older.

[Truck Week Voice]

I want my friends to do that.

[Apple Music Voice]

Can you imagine? Just like, hey, let me. Let me just call Dave Lang and just be like, you were really good today.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Hey, brother, you're doing great. You're inspiring.

[Apple Music Voice]

A lot of people coordinated. We are all calling at the same time on purpose. And my greater point to that is that they are a lot more. They're gonna be a lot less interested in celebrating a holiday like Christmas, where there's not a lot of. Unless it's a very religious thing for you. It's really just seen as like a gift giving and taking thing. Kwanzaa, I found out, happens after the day after Christmas, So it's the 26th to New Year's, so it's that dead week. So there's territory there. It's one thing a day. One day is like unity. One day's, like, togetherness. And it's about, like. It's the kind of stuff that I wouldn't have even known what you were talking about had you suggested that. But I could see my daughters and also tiktokers getting this big and being like, today for unity, blah, blah, blah. You get a couple big people on that. And Kwanzaa. I'm saying Christmas is there to be nice. It's wobbly.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

So you're saying, if I'm hearing you correctly, you're not necessarily tracking it rising yet. You're on some, like, future stock shit. Yeah, this is. This is investing in. In Pork Belly for you.

[Truck Week Voice]

And also, you're charting the. The drop of Christmas, right? You think Christmas is on the decline?

[Apple Music Voice]

Not on the decline. I think what we've seen is that for whatever lies we want to tell ourselves, most of these holidays are for adults, like Halloween. Yeah, we say trick or treating, but them kids are in the house by dusk. Ain't no late night trick or treat. And if there is, it's out in the suburbs. I live in Denver in a house in a nice, safe neighborhood, you know, And I've been there right before COVID like four or five years. I don't think I've ever gotten a trick or treater. Houses are close to each other. It's. It was a neighborhood that's like built for. You could hit 10 houses.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, my neighborhood too.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. But like now everybody throws their kids in the car and they go out to the suburbs. Because the suburbs can block off like the street and then everybody pops their garages and it's kind of like a dick measuring contest between houses. Like, yeah, you giving out candy, but they got music in there. Wife's got her tits out.

[Truck Week Voice]

Husband, you know, like, we're over here giving out scholarships.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, like, really, you know, so it's like a chance for closeted extroverts to act like, oh, I'm just sexy Sherlock Holmes. It's like, all right, dog. You know what I'm saying? You just wanted to put on some fishnets and be in public. Cause that's who you are internally. So I feel like Halloween parties are big. Halloween lasts like three, four, or five days. I saw people in November going to Halloween parties.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

So we were on tour and we were in Atlanta on Halloween and mostly performing for old black ladies who were not participating in Halloween, not having a great time. They were not there for it at all. But we then toured. We had like four days, basically, and went to Austin like three days later. And Austin, three days after Halloween was still celebrating Halloween, like, was still. Sixth street was blocked off. Everybody had on a costume. And it felt very adult in that way where it had nothing to do with children and trick or treating. This was grownups in nasty clothes wearing their shit.

[Truck Week Voice]

And that's how I think about it. I do think about it, is Halloween is for foam parties or whatever.

[Apple Music Voice]

You know what I mean?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

You don't think about the kids.

[Truck Week Voice]

Not at all. And I do think I used to see more kids. I feel like I used to see more kids. I mean, you don't see kids out the house in general anymore, but I used to see more, like, even within my neighborhood. That's like yours. Klaus is close together, set up for trick or treating. Hardly anybody had any Kind of lawn ornaments, any kind of lights. There just really wasn't a lot of it.

[Apple Music Voice]

The suburbs took all that when we.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Were kids, and I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. But when we were kids, it felt like we were terrorizing people some where, like, the doorbell never stopped ringing. Like, if you shut your door, you were getting a ring, ring, ring all night long. And now even at my house, like, and I live in a pretty, like, walkable, very nice, pleasant neighborhood, lots of houses around. And, like, we get some trick or treaters, but they don't bother us. Like, if we turn the porch light off, it's over. Like, everybody's very, like, aware and respectful of the holiday. And so to circle this back to Christmas, if it sounds like I'm understanding you correctly, it's less that Christmas is disappearing, but more that we value it differently than we did as children.

[Apple Music Voice]

Absolutely. And only the people that. Like the kind of religious people that go to church on Christmas Eve or go to church Christmas Day or something like that. It really is almost like Thanksgiving. It's a holiday for older folks. Football and food. That's great for me, I'm damn near 50. But, like, my son don't care about football. He's 16. So, like, he's like, I don't eat that much. Like, Thanksgiving isn't a big deal to him.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Damn.

[Apple Music Voice]

And there's a space for Ra Kwanzaa. Ra Kwanzaa. And just any other kind of, like, holidays kind of go up and down. And I feel like there's just going to be adult holidays because Halloween, I think, is almost fully adult, but just like, you need the kids for the. For the beard of it, but really a lot. There's gonna be a younger generation that takes, like, a kind of fringe holiday, dusts it off and makes it their own.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I love the idea of the executives at Big Kwanzaa rubbing. They're rubbing their hands together.

[Truck Week Voice]

We here at Big Kwanzaa in Detroit.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Are you tired of Santa Claus dancing in the back of your video? Come on over here to Big Kwanzaa.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's a thing. And then we're gonna have to watch the commodification of Kwanzaa, which is gonna be the most American thing you can do, is, like, all these things that you think are so underground. As we look at, like, Snoop selling us, you know, fire pits outside.

[Truck Week Voice]

We got some of that Snoop wine on Thanksgiving.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, Wine is just like. I mean, all these things that were underground, now they're going to be used to market to you.

[Coca Cola Voice]

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company.

[Deli Mex Voice]

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[Deli Mex Voice]

How crispy are the new deli mix? Crispy quesadillas. Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Deli Mex Voice]

Deli Mex Crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.

[Apple Music Voice]

So crispy. Like barely hear myself think crispy.

[Deli Mex Voice]

These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your Closest grocery store for deli Mex. Crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We were talking about this before you got here, but we. We were talking about how quickly Juneteenth got usurped as now a just general national holiday that everybody gets the day off for nobody. You ain't gotta pray. You ain't gotta go thank your black neighbor, nothing. It's just, you get the day off, and you ain't gotta talk about it. And it happened so fast, because four years ago, even I don't think I knew any white people who even knew what Juneteenth.

[Truck Week Voice]

It wasn't even. It wasn't up for discussion. It never came up. No, like. And then they found out about that shit, and then white ladies got an Instagram filter, and it was.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And I don't. I mean, I'm not from the South. Y'all ain't from the South. It wasn't a thing for me growing up.

[Apple Music Voice]

Not at all.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? Like, even in black households, it's not like everybody celebrated Juneteenth.

[Apple Music Voice]

You would get a calendar, and it'd be like Juneteenth was in the same genre as, like, you know, like, there'll be a day that's like winter solstice on the calendar. And you're like, what is that? You know what I'm saying?

[Truck Week Voice]

It's a holiday in italics.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Arbor Day, where they, like, a law has been passed. They have to alert you that that's a. But it wasn't a thing. And then, like you said, out of nowhere, it's just like, you don't celebrate June. You don't think we should. I don't think most Americans, even to this day, know exactly what it is.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No.

[Apple Music Voice]

They probably heard it once. But just like, you know, people are just coming around on MLK Day.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. And that's also a fascinating thing, because I didn't realize, and this is my own ignorance, I didn't realize how recently MLK Day was a day. You what?

[Truck Week Voice]

I mean, how recent is it? I don't know how recently it is.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

MLK Day. They were fighting against it during the fucking, I think, Bush administration.

[Apple Music Voice]

Arizona. Arizona wouldn't like, because what's it called? The Public Enemy had a song basically about it.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, by the time I get to Arizona.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would just, like, people would not. They would not take the day off just out of, like, clear defiance of just, like, fuck that, dude.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It, like, didn't get declared a national holiday until, like, pretty Recently.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. That's crazy. I guess we are. We're at least of the age where it's like, that's right when we would have been little kids enough to not know, because I always recall it be. I always remember it. But damn, that's cold blooded.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, man. But to that point, Juneteenth is now. It seems pretty ubiquitous.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

With like the American holiday experience. And then the same feels like it will happen to Kwanzaa. Should it get this inevitable.

[Apple Music Voice]

It'll be a clear dividing line between the generations, I think. Like, I think it'll be a younger person's thing and eventually they will be older, but for a while it will be like 24 year old students at NYU consciously celebrate it and get some kind of, you know, traction on the Internet from it. But like, your uncle would be like, what now?

[Truck Week Voice]

It does make sense. I see what you're saying. It's right for, like, it's the perfect small cause for an Internet asshole to take up. Right. Like, that's the perfect thing. Everybody's heard of it, but it's still niche enough that you, you could be interesting by doing. It's a perfect way to pretend you're interesting is what I'm saying.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It reminds me a little bit. I've been watching the Menendez brothers shit. Like, you know, they had the show and then they had the documentary and they both came out sort of in tandem. But part of the reason that the Menendez brothers are now getting like this, this new trial, or at least this new assessment of their sentencing was in part because a bunch of TikTok kids started unpacking their story and going like, hey, it's fucked up that we didn't address all the sexual assault stuff that happened in their family that, like, they claimed that they were brutally, brutally assaulted by this father and the mother to some extent, and that was the cause for them needing to kill their parents. And they, in the trial, it gets treated a lot more like, y'all are just bad boys. You did a bad thing, you're going to jail for the rest of your life. And that all happened on TikTok. And so the question of a person on TikTok being like, we gotta reassess Kwanzaa feels very in the wheelhouse of some TikTok shit.

[Truck Week Voice]

I also feel like Christmas is ripe for a takedown just because I'm going to blame it on Jeff Bezos. Kids get too many packages, they're not as excited about presents.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Think about it. When you were a kid, how many Packages you got very rare. I got a package. I went. It was the most. It was as exciting as Christmas.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

My mom's saying, david, you got something in the mail that was nuts. It was. It's the same as Christmas.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was nuts.

[Truck Week Voice]

It was the same exact thing.

[Apple Music Voice]

You've been thinking about it for weeks. When you sent away for something, it was six to eight weeks. Every day at school, you'd be like, man, is that gonna be at home? And then when it is.

[Truck Week Voice]

And it was trash. Whatever it was.

[Apple Music Voice]

Of course it was.

[Truck Week Voice]

It was trash.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Nothing.

[Truck Week Voice]

Goddamn Nesquik beanie.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Nothing I could afford in the East Bay magazine was gonna.

[Apple Music Voice]

East Bay.

[Truck Week Voice]

Where's that documentary? Netflix.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Come on, man. Yeah, East Bay went through it, baby. They had a high high and a low low real fast.

[Apple Music Voice]

That was. That was. You know, there's always this narrative that, like, women be shopping, but, like, guys looked at that catalog in the exact same way that my grandmother would look at a Saks Fifth Avenue catalog and be like, I'm going to get that. Look at. My grandma would be like, look at those Isotona gloves.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

And we'd be like, look at those shorts. You could customize them. You go, all right. We could go to the court with the same color shorts. It was like the same thing.

[Truck Week Voice]

They've got all the colors of shocks.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Every shock.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

The amount of times me and my boys sat in a bed with our feet up, just flipping through East Bay, talking about the shoes we were never gonna have.

[Truck Week Voice]

Bro.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's the hours that I wasted. It's immense.

[Truck Week Voice]

I used to look at East Bay like a real magazine where I'd be like, oh, I haven't seen this one.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It meant the world to me.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, it was amazing. You're planning outfits. Planning full East Bay outfits.

[Apple Music Voice]

Did you order anything from there? Never.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

One time, I think I got some Team Jordans once. Like, talked my dad into getting me some Team Jordans out of the. Again. Team Jordans. That ain't Jordans, right?

[Apple Music Voice]

That's the polo club of polo.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

100%.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was. It was. I should be fair to myself. It was also early in the Team Jordan era where we didn't quite understand they had.

[Truck Week Voice]

They were relevant for a minute where it was. Okay.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

They had a moment where you didn't quite know that those weren't going to be treated like real Jordans. It felt like, like, 12 and a halfs. And you were like, ah, that's cool. We got them 12 and a half.

[Truck Week Voice]

Whatever.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And now we all know that? Yeah, it's the U.S. polo Association.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah. That sounds like the minor leagues.

[Truck Week Voice]

Polo.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was a bat, but I got some of those. But truly, everything else was just a dream that I was selling myself every month.

[Truck Week Voice]

I would have myself fitted before football season with that East Bay. That came out right before school started. Of course, I had the gloves circled, I had the cleats circled. Never got it. But, man, I was ready.

[Apple Music Voice]

I ordered two things. I ordered this thing called the Accurim. I used to play hoop. And it was like a rim that you put on on the inside. Like it was what an old person would shit in. And that shit gets your jumper so nice. Cause it has to be not only just a swish, but you have to put arc on it. So when you practice a couple summers with that, bro, my. My jumper was nice.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Oh, it worked, bro.

[Apple Music Voice]

It worked.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You're the first person I've ever heard who bought like a basketball training that was like, nah, this shit worked.

[Apple Music Voice]

Did you ever dream of just having a rebounder, like all time rebound? No, but just a person I used to think of, like this imaginary guy that would just like rebound. Like, how many more shots I could get up.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You're doing great, Al.

[Apple Music Voice]

Fake, Daryl.

[Truck Week Voice]

You didn't get it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You mean, was I you wet?

[Truck Week Voice]

You mean, was I a lonely child?

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shooting jumpers is the dead giveaway here.

[Truck Week Voice]

Please tell me the second thing you got was those plyometric shoes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's the ones I wanted so bad.

[Apple Music Voice]

You know, that's exactly what I'm about to tell you. They were. Yes, they were called strength shoes. I used to be able to dunk with two hands. I ruptured my Achilles tendon, but it absolutely. They absolutely worked.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, that fucks me up knowing that that shit worked. Yes, I remember. Like, your parents are like, this is ridiculous. There's no special sneakers you're gonna wear. But like, I remember looking at it and being like, this technology makes sense.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You're on your tiptoe.

[Truck Week Voice]

I'm doing the angles. This technology makes sense. It really.

[Apple Music Voice]

It really worked. Obviously. My kids, one of the best days of my life. I've had some good highlights in my life. I threw down a dunk at my boy Donnie's house in his driveway. Yeah, I still remember that. That was probably 30 years ago.

[Truck Week Voice]

Fuck, bro. No, this is one of the best days of my life hearing about it.

[Apple Music Voice]

Dude. It was. You know who had crazy hops? Yeah. Is Craig Robinson.

[Truck Week Voice]

What?

[Apple Music Voice]

He came to our show because he's doing a show in Denver. So he came on our set, and I don't know why we were talking about basketball. We had the clip ready. It was him. No comics user. The hack joke. But it was him 200 pounds ago. But, I mean, like, crazy, like, threw down like Daryl Dawkins dunk. Like, Bruh. Craig Robinson was a baller.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what? I could see that. Because he's bigger than you think he is, right? Like, he's like. He's like, secretly, like, almost six, three, six, four, I think. And then he also is, like one of them dudes that, like, had a whole life before he got to comedy.

[Apple Music Voice]

Not the teacher like us.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, he was a teacher. He was a musician. He did a lot of shit. And I think those kinds of guys, they always. You got one in your pocket where you're just like, yeah, I used to play ball. Yeah, I used to dunk on motherfuckers. I don't do that no more.

[Truck Week Voice]

Can't believe those sneakers worked. I'm sorry. I'm just like.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's like a whole life.

[Truck Week Voice]

If I convinced one birthday dude, they looked ridiculous.

[Apple Music Voice]

No, you look like an asshole. You looked great. They were like snowshoes in the city.

[Truck Week Voice]

Because they were like. It was like a wider platform. And then the shoe was on top of that.

[Apple Music Voice]

Right, Right. It was like a trophy of a shoe.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It was like you were walking around like a GI Joe. You know what I mean? Like, you're truly just sitting on top of fucking GI Joe platform.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And that. It just kept you on your tiptoes all day.

[Apple Music Voice]

I mean, you do see women. I don't know, as much as you used to. When it was, like, almost unacceptable for a woman to be out without wearing high heels. But when you think. And I've talked to a lot of my female friends. Cause I just took it for granted, like, oh, they throw your heels on and they go out to party. Think about being on your toes, leaving the house, going up and down stairs, dancing back on your toes. And then you see, like, some chicks would have, like, crazy calves. You'd be like, oh, how did you. It's like, it makes sense. It gets your leg game, right?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

For Sam's show, we all put on high heels to, like, try them. Cause that was, like, part of a bit of an episode. Whatever. I walked probably 10ft and was like, I don't wanna. I can't do this no more. This is.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's amazing. It's a nightmare. It's crazy when you think about it, like, that is something I have thought about, though, that we are in an era that. Speaking of East Bay, that we would've never thought about in terms of sports where women's basketball, pro and college. Like, I've talked to homies have been like, yo, the Iowa game's coming on. Hit you back. And they're talking about women's college basketball. Think about how crazy that would have sounded eight years ago.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Nah, dawg, I did. I was a practice player at. For our college. Our women's college basketball team.

[Apple Music Voice]

That's cool.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, it was fun.

[Apple Music Voice]

What college?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Michigan.

[Apple Music Voice]

Oh, Jesus.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yes. Team one.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, it was. They were the worst team in.

[Apple Music Voice]

You must can ball, though.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I was pretty good.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, I could play. I could play some ball. I can't anymore, but at a time in my life, I was pretty good at basketball. But one of the things that. That I realized, even when doing it, this was 2007, that I'm doing it. There was nobody I told it to that didn't laugh in my face. You know what I mean? Like, even now, when I mention it to, like, executives and stuff, they kind of, like, chuckle and shit, because it's. As a premise just seems absurd that a man would bow the knee to more talented women than him at a. You know what I mean?

[Apple Music Voice]

At a thing Wildly more talented.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

So much better.

[Apple Music Voice]

I'm giving you props for being on the court with them. I just think that it's. I forgot what that principle's called. Like, the more you learn, the more you realize, the less you know. And so you understand how difficult life is.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

And that's why, like, a lot of people will look at something amazing, be like, ugh, yeah. All right.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Basketball, you shoot the ball in the hoop. Got it. But, like, when you learn basketball, you have to learn how to shoot and get your mechanics, then learn how to dribble, then learn how to play defense, then learn how to play team basketball, and then learn how to play against the zone. You just realize you'll never know all the stuff, but if you keep your horizons super low, everything is super easy to you. Cause you're like. Cause you take the simple thing. That's.

[Truck Week Voice]

Cause you can't do anything right? Right? You can't do nothing. Everything hard seems easy because you've never tried to do anything.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's the thing that drives me the craziest. I only watch the NBA. I'm not really tapped in. In any other sport, but, like, you'll see it probably every day that an NBA game is playing some. Some Player's name will be trending. And it's just people saying they're fucking trash. Just like Gabe Vincent for the Lakers.

[Apple Music Voice]

Unbelievable.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Every week they're like, fucking Gabe Vincent. He's the worst player in the league. He fucking sucks. He is so good at basketball.

[Truck Week Voice]

He's the best athlete you would ever come across if you met him in person. In your entire life. By far and away, every. Every single NBA athlete I've played against.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

D2 dudes that I was like, I can't believe how much better you are at basketball than I am. You know what I mean? Like, you're light years above what I'm capable of. So, like, what are we talking about? He's not trash. You're upset with him, right? And you're in a bad way because your parlay ain't gonna hit. But, like, no way is this a bad basketball player. Watch your fucking mouth.

[Apple Music Voice]

There's no respect. Watch your mouth, dawg. It's crazy. Like, in terms of just like, can you put a little speck on anybody's name? Like, it. Dude, I remember when the Cavs won the title from Cleveland. It was the only time our city's ever seen a title in my lifetime.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I'm sorry that's happened to you guys.

[Truck Week Voice]

I can't relate.

[Apple Music Voice]

I mean, dysfunctional organizations. I mean, if you think about it, if you look at a team as just. And I was telling my homie this in a weird way, if you think about how, like, just soccer or football, whatever, in Europe, if you suck, they demote you to basically the same thing.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's the greatest system in the world.

[Apple Music Voice]

It is. But here, NFL, they share that TV money. So there's no incentive for your team to get better. Because the good thing about capitalism, whatever, is it eliminates poorly run companies.

[Truck Week Voice]

But here we talk about that on the road. With what team did we talk about that with?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I don't remember. But I do remember the conversation.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, Jerry Jones.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Oh, the Cowboys. That's right. Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. Because it's more lucrative than for Wynt, than if he's a winner.

[Apple Music Voice]

What if the Cowboys or the Browns had to drop down and play in, like, the XFL or the afl?

[Truck Week Voice]

If it was the XFL and the.

[Apple Music Voice]

Super bowl winner came up and played in the pros.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Oh, like soccer.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. Like, you get, you get. And it would just keep your shit. So you're just not like, yo, we got an 85 year old running our team, and your team looks like it a good wide receiver. It's like the way like a 7 year old would draft. Like, I just need a good wide receiver. It's like, no. You know, but you. There's no incentive to get better because the floor is the same as the ceiling.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. The split. We still see the bread that we're gonna see. Everybody's gonna eat.

[Apple Music Voice]

And it increases every year, right?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. You just gotta keep on. You just gotta hold the team. As long as you own it, you make that money. That's bad business.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Once again, I'm sorry you guys haven't won. We recently won. It was pretty great.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. Bucks fan.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I wasn't win. Anytime.

[Apple Music Voice]

You're a buck.

[Truck Week Voice]

No, this is. Cause it's Christmas. It didn't come across. The bit. The bit didn't really work. This is coming out on Christmas Eve.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

So I wore Christmas colors.

[Apple Music Voice]

Well, you had on the Santa hat, and then.

[Truck Week Voice]

And then I gave it to Langston because I wanted him to be involved. That's not what this is about.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, you swung big on Christmas.

[Truck Week Voice]

I swung huge.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You said, I love the Lord.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's not what I said.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I want to rank it, you know? That's what you swung.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's not what I swank.

[Apple Music Voice]

You said, I love the women not working.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's not what I said. I think women should work more.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Before we go to break. Do you. Have you ever celebrated Kwanzaa in your adult life? No, not as a child, but not even as an adult.

[Apple Music Voice]

No. And maybe I was thinking, since I have this take, I might next year, you know? Cause it's too late now to spring it on my kids. But that's what I said.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

They're gonna be gone next year.

[Apple Music Voice]

I know. I know. It's like, that's my idol. I'd be like, I'm ready. Oh, y'all in college. All right, then. Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's just gonna be one young child being annihilated by a new. A new holiday.

[Truck Week Voice]

That would be so hard. And he knows his brother. He knows his siblings had Christmas.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Friends. Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's like, yo, what'd you get for unity today?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Umoja.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. A lot of couscous.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It turns out me and my dad held hands in the kitchen and said what we're grateful for about each other.

[Apple Music Voice]

That's what it is. But the only time that. That works, holding hands, talking about, like, hey, man, we live a good life, which I think we should do more often, like I have tried to do with, you know, comics, is like, that's a certain time of your life. That's like post college. Until you get married where you're trying to figure out who you are and there's a space in there where like you be open. It's also the same period of time where you're open to joining a cult, which is weird.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

It's the same thing.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. I mean, really, this is a cult.

[Truck Week Voice]

What do you think this is a comedy thing?

[Apple Music Voice]

I mean, come on. I was telling my boy the other day with cults, like, I wonder if like. Because if we only see the people that successfully started them and you know that there's some that have failed. But what about the kinds that just like you have a cult and you try to get like 500 people and you got like four bro, there's bad 20 people cults. Really?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Shut up.

[Truck Week Voice]

What's the. What's Nick, do you know the county where the frozen dead lady was Mother God? Yeah. But in that county there's several other cults that are on the same type of thing where it's just like 10 people who are on this shit.

[Apple Music Voice]

Maybe that's the way to go. Because like NXIVM got too big and once he started branding them, the government was like, we gotta get in.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Have you seen the Mother God documentary?

[Apple Music Voice]

I think so. Was that that woman that kind of went crazy but like those kids were obsessed with her. Which one's the Mother God?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

She. She starts drinking silver.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yes, I saw that one. Absolutely.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, it's very that one. That part of it.

[Apple Music Voice]

That guy had to carry her around at the end.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Ye herself to death. But specifically with silver and alcohol.

[Apple Music Voice]

Right. Can you imagine like diagnosing cirrhosis and then also having to be like, are you drinking liquid silver?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And she's like, yes, because I'm God. But that one I think is an example of like there were only like 15 people, but they fucked with her hard.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's all you need. Small batch cults is really the way to go, I think.

[Apple Music Voice]

Like bourbon.

[Truck Week Voice]

The problem becomes when they scale it up, like. But if you're able to start a religion and it's just like you get eight to 10 people, but they'll die for that shit. Don't get greedy. You know what I mean? How much do you need?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

My wife keeps trying to start a cult.

[Truck Week Voice]

What?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have done this right before a break. But she's actively keeps being her whole thing. She's a lawyer and she keeps saying that a cult. In order to start to get religious exemption from taxes, all you need technically is a firmly held belief you don't need a lot of paperwork. There isn't even a lot of filing because she does nonprofit tax work. And so, like, part of what she knows is that, like, religious exemption is very different than, like, if you have to file as a nonprofit that services this and this for the community, whatever. And so she keeps trying to convince her friends, if we buy a compound somewhere and we just establish a firmly held belief, we can create religious exemption and live off the grid.

[Apple Music Voice]

Get out of here.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's pretty cool.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It is pretty cool. My issue with it, and this is what I keep trying to emphasize with her, is that this is great that.

[Truck Week Voice]

You'Re wearing a Santa hat.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Cause now I imagine you guys have that fight, but you're in a Santa hat.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's most of our fights.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's like you have to put that hat on to be able to speak in front of the group. Langston has on the Santa hat. Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

That's one of the, quote, laws I.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Have on the sanding.

[Apple Music Voice]

You wait. You wait.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

My issue with it is not that it doesn't sound dope. It's that, historically, we've always seen somebody take it too far. Do you know what I mean? Like, Wild, Wild country was about people putting on maroon and fucking in the woods, and everybody loved it, and they were doing great, and there were no problems until Sheila took it a step too far and she poisoned the water supply. And now all of a sudden, we don't get to fuck in the woods no more because things got crazy.

[Truck Week Voice]

Right.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? Like, there's always.

[Truck Week Voice]

Are you worried that you'll be Sheila?

[Apple Music Voice]

I gotta step in for Sheila, dog.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You think Sheila's the hero in this story?

[Apple Music Voice]

I think Sheila is, maybe. And this is gonna sound crazy, I put her in the same pantheon that I put Kobe.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Whoa.

[Apple Music Voice]

I swear to God. In that. Somebody that's able to have determination on a level where it's unhealthy, but it's necessary to get what you want done. Done. Kobe was going through a rape trial and balling on his off dates, going crazy.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

The death, thousand yard death stare. That's what Sheila had. And Sheila was cool until that county around her started trying to pull some shenanigans with the votes and trying to get them up out of there. And Sheila was like, it ain't going. What did Marlo say in the wire? You want it to be one way, but it's the other way. It was the other way, and I don't have that in me. I don't Know how many people do. But if you can get a Sheila on your side, you're in good shape. If she's going against you, it's a problem.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

But that's my issue, is that I think it's not that you don't want Sheila on your side. And I agree with you. It was much more about those white people making problems for them than it was that Sheila created the problems. But what you do need with this firmly held belief is a level of sobriety where you go, we don't really believe this shit. And Sheila really fucking believed it.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, right.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's dangerous.

[Truck Week Voice]

And that's. That's just you being too good of a cult leader.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

That's the problem is that, like, somebody in there is really gonna be like, I'll die for this shit.

[Truck Week Voice]

Well, you need to kill you for.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

This shit, or I'll kill you for this shit. And that's scary.

[Truck Week Voice]

But that's what I like about what your wife's idea is. She's like, hey, y'all, we're gonna run a scam. We all know we're scamming. That I think seems reasonable.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

But up until it always starts that way.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, I think he pulled me over. Cause I was on you. I never thought about the long term. Because we're imagining this in this abstract way. Like we are all kind of these fixed individuals, but we all know that there have been periods of our lives, we got homeboys, where it's like, yeah, this is a fun thing. After he's had 27 nights of threesomes with. With 25 year olds calling him their lord or whatever. That would change the chemicals in his mind, truly.

[Truck Week Voice]

But that's not what he's talking about. Right. Because also, the way that your wife is describing it, there's no growth.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

But I don't know that she can see past that. Do you see what I'm saying? I think she's looking at it as like, I have 11 best friends. If me and my 11 best friends all lived on a compound together and we pretended to have this firmly held belief, we'd be fine. But what she's skipping is that we are raising children. And our children would be raised on this compound with this firmly held belief as a principle that they're living under, which means that they will eventually want to carry that forward. And maybe my kids are cool enough that they get that this is a bit. Or maybe my son is a weirdo who decides that the firmly held belief means he gets four pussies a night. And if he doesn't get his four pussies a night, he'll chop your feet off. Now we've got a problem.

[Truck Week Voice]

But what I'm saying is the 11 of you, or however many of the 11 couples on the compound, right? Are you actually withhelding to the belief or is that what you're telling the government? I tell the government all kinds of shit, you know what I'm saying? Are you in that compound practicing a religion or is there a set of rules that you're telling the government you reside by, but you guys are just living? Because if you guys are just living, I don't think it becomes that. I think it becomes just like a cool scam you guys are running.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think I. I don't think that's the.

[Truck Week Voice]

I think that a turn to a religion is a lot more purposeful than that.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think that. I think what you're saying sounds to me idealistic more than what we've seen historically in practice, that almost always in practice, somebody takes it too far and then you're wake up.

[Truck Week Voice]

I mean, what is the firmly held belief? Are you creating a religion or are you hiding from the government saying something? Because to me it sounds like you're just hiding from the government and feeding this up.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And that's part of my problem. She don't have a firmly held belief yet. So until she can come with a real argument for what our belief is, I'm not buying this shit until she.

[Truck Week Voice]

Has a messiah, she has a God.

[Apple Music Voice]

I think again, you do start with a firmly held belief. Hey, all people are great. We're all gonna wear Santa hats. Yeah, that's how it starts. But it's not gonna, you know, fundamentally because of the way human beings change over the course of times. Months, years. By the end of it, it's going to be somebody. There's going to be. Because within any faction, you start off unified. If you think about just the Walking Dead initially, it's like I never watched it, but just the concept. We are all trying to not get eaten by zombies. That we are. We are one unit with that goal. But just like any faction, Lord of the Flies, once you get together, that faction is gonna split. Some people are like, now let's rape the women. And other people like, let's get sanitation and running water and have funerals. Everything is going to split. And you're gonna start off like, hey, we all wear Santa hats and we have fun. And this is all a tax scam. Seven years down the line. There's no way that you are Still. That is still the motto that we're just vibing. No.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We're gonna argue over dinner one night and it's gonna create a faction. And now suddenly your beliefs and my beliefs are slightly askew, and a generation later, we're murdering each other.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I don't think it's possible.

[Apple Music Voice]

The nature of things.

[Truck Week Voice]

I don't think it's that dark. I think. I think I believe in small batch cults.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Whoa.

[Truck Week Voice]

I believe in small batch cults. Well, I think when you try to start scaling it up and inviting people from the outside, I think you can do it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Well, let me tell you about a little country called the United States of America, my man. It started with something called the Declaration of Independence, and it ain't going so well.

[Truck Week Voice]

It's not going so well. He won.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We need to take a break.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, we do.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We went so long. All right, we're gonna be back with more Al Jackson, more My Mama Told.

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[Truck Week Voice]

We are back. Happy Kwanzaa. What is the Kwanzaa greeting?

[Apple Music Voice]

Actually, it's Swahili based, so, like, I feel very uncomfortable. Black man from Cleveland. Swahili.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Many, many Kwanzas to you, brothers.

[Truck Week Voice]

Okay, I like that.

[Apple Music Voice]

I like that. May quanta be with you.

[Truck Week Voice]

The only Swahili word I know is jambo.

[Apple Music Voice]

What does that mean?

[Truck Week Voice]

It means hello. I had a book when I was a kid called Jambo Means hello.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Okay. You read the title. You're like, got that.

[Apple Music Voice]

You know what, though? High stayed with you.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

How many books do you read do you remember years later?

[Truck Week Voice]

A lot.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's impressive.

[Truck Week Voice]

I read a lot of books as a kid. I don't read as many as an adult, but I read a shitload of.

[Apple Music Voice]

Books as a kid, man. I had ADHD or do, but, dude, I got Adderall and it changed my life. I started being able to read. I got through college without ever really reading. I just had to listen because I couldn't read anything. And then I just went on a tear and I just started reading everything.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, no, I don't have it anymore. I'm. My brain is mush. But as a kid, I was like, really?

[Apple Music Voice]

You feel it starting to go?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah. It's tough because I recently realized I ran out of, like, all the knowledge I acquired from reading in my youth. I got to the end. Does that make sense?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Like, the porch is over, and now I got to acquire new and the muscle atrophied from not like I still read, but I read like four or five books in a year. You know what I mean?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

There is. There's a very embarrassing thing when somebody asks you, like, what's your favorite book? And then something from high school pops in your head.

[Truck Week Voice]

Truly.

[Apple Music Voice]

Fahrenheit 451. Fences.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah night by Eli Wiesel.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I like the Things They Carried.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. You just have to act like you kept reading. But that book, you're like, look, Catcher in a Ride. Still really good.

[Truck Week Voice]

Okay. This is fucked up though, that. But it is. I do feel that way about that book.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

He literally tried to argue with me the other day about how good that book was.

[Truck Week Voice]

It is amazing. It is amazing.

[Apple Music Voice]

Maybe I need to reread it.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, we should all reread it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I taught it and I don't feel that way.

[Truck Week Voice]

I love it. And I've read other Salinger shit to make sure that I love it. Right? You know what I mean?

[Apple Music Voice]

Okay, that's great. I'm giving it a reread. You taught English?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, I taught high school English.

[Apple Music Voice]

I taught middle school science.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Oh, man, middle school. I hated them. I briefly did like after school programming with middle school kids. And they're truly the greatest nightmare I could imagine. So I couldn't handle it.

[Apple Music Voice]

You gotta get on em early. I was at a weird time in my life in that I was just as crazy as they were. Like, I was partying.

[Truck Week Voice]

Miami.

[Apple Music Voice]

I was a 27 in Miami. Like pre social media. So it was like the 1950s. Like, literally, you could still smoke cigs in the bar. Like, like Miami's loose, bro. You could like take a scotch and walk outside and like, like the glass dog and you know what I'm saying, like, they just don't care down there. And so I think my kids felt my energy. But now if I tried to teach nad on there, they would rip me apart. You know, like when an old, like one of the first, like the original gang member, like, goes back to jail and he's like, I'm an og. And they're like, shut up, old man.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I don't give a fuck about each other.

[Apple Music Voice]

You just don't have that energy anymore. So, like, they don't even hold up Crip.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Like we hold up Crip.

[Apple Music Voice]

Get the fuck out of here. You trying to tell. You don't know your history, young man?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You see, when we started, it was about break dancing. Shut your ass up.

[Apple Music Voice]

I'll see you at the club. That's how they used to settle beefs. Think about that. Just like, yo, me and David's crew, we gonna settle this on Friday at Club Outlander. It's like, what?

[Truck Week Voice]

I don't think there's any dance move I could do to you that would feel better than hitting somebody in the face.

[Apple Music Voice]

No, I do not.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

There was one brave man who figured that out. He lost that dance battle. He was like, I'm just gonna beat him up.

[Truck Week Voice]

Hell, no.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I'm gonna punch him in the head. I think that's gonna feel bad.

[Apple Music Voice]

That was ground zero for gang violence right there.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Can we go back to dancing and. And graffiti, y'all?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's like, that's why we know the name Stanley Tookie Williams. You know what I mean?

[Truck Week Voice]

Because his windmill wasn't windmilling. Now everybody's gotta die because he can't do a battle.

[Apple Music Voice]

I mean, if you think about, like, Juice doesn't seem like that long ago, but when you watch it, when you see the gun that Tupac has, like, I would give that to my. That gun is like. He's got, like, a.38 special dragnet. Like, he would look crazy if you pulled that out. Like, you could get that in the club openly. And like, how quickly that elevated to. Hey, like, you gotta be extra strapped up now.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And even that he only had one gun. The whole movie is about one gun.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, it's a community gun.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, the whole movie is just about Tupac got the gun and isn't being nice about it. And then everybody's scared. It's like, bro, everybody's got guns now. Everybody. They're not revolvers. They're really high tech.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, they got switches.

[Apple Music Voice]

That's how they. They Jews, too, got squashed in the. Just the early development. Like, Juice is successful. Let's make juice 2. Where now another guy's got a gun. Then it's just a gang. Oh, okay. It only works if one. If there's one gun.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

What if Tyrese Gibson has the gun now? Pretty good.

[Truck Week Voice]

I would watch Juice 2 starring Tyrese Gibson.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I do believe that they made a Juice two, and I do believe that it starred. If I'm not mistaken, I think it might have been either Soulja Boy or DC Young. Fly.

[Apple Music Voice]

Really?

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, they made a Juice 2 recently, I'm pretty sure. Who's they?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I think that's a conspiracy.

[Apple Music Voice]

Did they make a Belly two?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yes.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. Belly two exists.

[Truck Week Voice]

Juice two exists not what you want it to be. Yeah, I kind of steer. It's not great watching movies starring the game.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you've discussed this, but I guess what? I guess no, Pac wasn't the first act. I mean, Ice T is in the first couple break ins. And I. Here is a weird conspiracy I did have because I was like, remember the Olympics this past year? That Australian breakdancer Ray Gunn ruined breakdancing. They took it from the Olympics. I'll Never forget Breakin 2. They put a white girl in there. She was horrible. And that was the end of the break ins. Cause Breakin one wasn't that the first time was about New York City break dance scene. It was like the culture, hip hop dancing, the gay scene, like an alt scene was really breaking one, Breaking two. They stuck the rich white girl in there because they needed that narrative of like, my father's gonna tear down the community center and make a strip mall. That was a big thing.

[Truck Week Voice]

And like, breaking two also makes no sense, story wise.

[Apple Music Voice]

Stop to me.

[Truck Week Voice]

I watched it with my girl like six months ago. It's a horrible movie.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Is that Electric Boogaloo?

[Truck Week Voice]

Yes. So it doesn't make any sense. It's like terribly like, Breaking one had a plot. Breaking two, it was just like. It was really bad.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Admittedly, I've never seen either of the breakings. I don't.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, what are you, a Beach street guy?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No, I haven't seen that either. There are certain films.

[Truck Week Voice]

Crush Groove, that's your thing, buddy.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

There are certain generations of films that I know that if I watch it, I'm not going to like it. And I don't want to disrespect it. Do you know what I mean? Where I just go, I'm too old. The generation has passed. There's nothing they're gonna do that's gonna like, wow me. I'm good. Out of respect, I'll acknowledge y'all had it, and I'll move on with my life instead of doing that shit. Where we go, man? What the fuck was Rev Run talking about?

[Apple Music Voice]

That was 40, 50 years ago.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, he was killing it back then. I get it. But not no more. And I'm not trying to.

[Apple Music Voice]

Do you know what? I still watch that holds up King of New York.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, with Frank Wyatt. Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

It really.

[Truck Week Voice]

Christopher Walken.

[Apple Music Voice]

It's dark.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Okay.

[Apple Music Voice]

Have you seen that?

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I haven't.

[Apple Music Voice]

Laurence Fishburne.

[Truck Week Voice]

Laurence Fishburne's kind of goofy.

[Apple Music Voice]

Wesley Snipes, his character, but he. That's. I mean, he was coked out and probably unmedicated, you know? Do you ever think about that? Like, when you look at our parents, like, everybody that they grew up with was not medicated. Yeah, all the depression, all the alcoholism. Nobody around them was like, hey, David, I don't think you should be drinking in the morning. Like, no one ever told you. Everyone depressed. I mean, it's crazy that they made it. It's like, really bananas when you think about it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

No, they. When they call younger generations, like, weak. I do understand what they're saying. I don't agree with it, but I understand it. It was like you were truly raw, dogging the world, and you figured out a way to survive this shit. And we're asking for reasonable accommodations. And you're like, but I didn't have that.

[Truck Week Voice]

Right, Right.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And so it's like, nah, comparatively, we are doing a weaker thing.

[Apple Music Voice]

Absolutely.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

But it also. You're tripping. You shouldn't have done that.

[Apple Music Voice]

Right. There's some low key hating because I'm sure they're looking like, well, do you know what I could have done if it wasn't legal to slap your wife in Texas until 1991 or whatever. These crazy laws that they grew up with, like, women. Like, I don't think people realize, like, the world that women were living in up until probably like the mid, early 90s where what was going on at work, like, your boss would just call you, yeah, what's up, hot chocolate? Like, your boss, like. Or shut the fuck up. Like, people were. It was crazy.

[Truck Week Voice]

You go on Miami at work with women.

[Apple Music Voice]

I'll just say, like, in the places I worked, some of them were comedy clubs. So we gonna make this real vague, but, like, it would be. I can't. It was like Studio 54. It's exactly what you think it would be. There was blow everywhere. Everywhere. And especially, like when you would do the smaller cities, you'd be in like Fort Myers or somewhere. Just the owner would just. You go back there to get paid, get your check and just blow on the table. Your check sitting there, waitress sitting on his lap, he's half in the bag, his wife is up front. I mean, it was, fuck that. But it didn't seem weird. It was just like I was offered to be paid in cocaine or money. And I was like, I was a teacher. I was like, give me money, I have nothing. I didn't even. But the idea that somebody would even propose, that didn't seem crazy. I was like, I'm sure some people would do that. I was like, I hope I get in a position to take that, you know, I hope I don't.

[Truck Week Voice]

Tell us Adderalls.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah, just. Dude, it was. I will say this, and just to wrap that up. There was one place where when a new waitress would come to the club, like, oh, it's, you know, Nora's first night. All the waiters and waitresses would be in the back area where the bar is. And they would have her like, walk down, like the, you know, the gauntlet. And everybody, they'd be like, look at her ass. They'd turn her around and then everybody, the men and the women would smack her on the ass.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Holy shit.

[Apple Music Voice]

Every new female waitsaf. That's on God. But it was just like, oh, there's a new chick working. It's just. And that's where the MeToo movement came from.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Put her on the COVID of Time magazine.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know what I mean? Not Terry Crews.

[Apple Music Voice]

Oh, that's good.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I don't give a fuck about him getting his dick grabbed that one time. That lady deserves a profile of like, hey, I went through it because there was no payoff on the other end of this. No, I was just a waitress at a comedy club in Miami. None of this, none of the math here works out in my favor, right?

[Apple Music Voice]

And that waitress would tell a waitress, you know, from her mom's generation, they hit me on the ass and they'd be like, that's all, honey.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, congratulations.

[Apple Music Voice]

Like, think about that.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I mean, sounds like you had a good first night. Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

What is your. Is your manager gay? Done like women, it's like, yeah, just. What a different world. And it wasn't that long ago, you.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Know, Al, before we wrap this thing up, I guess the question on my mind, you talked about the possibility that Kwanzaa could become more powerful. You talked about the possibility that Kwanzaa could be then overtaken by our white counterparts. That it would become sort of a universal holiday. My question for you is, do you think ult that would be a good thing for the growth. Is the growth of this holiday worth the squeeze of it becoming national and subsequently slightly white, if not completely?

[Apple Music Voice]

Well, there's nothing that's. If you do not cross over in a popular culture. Popular culture is not only all cultures, but definitely white culture. You are going to hit. You have a hard seal. Think about how many people are famous in the black community and people don't know who they are. You know, there's a lot of. If you don't cross that level into like where a 13 year old white kids know who you are, 27 year old grad students know who you are. There's just a level to how far that you can go within any industry in anything. It's just. It's a numbers game, Nick.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You know who Alan Payne is. You do? Oh, okay.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Nick's one of us, though. You know, it's anyone. Without trying. That's what black dudes, really. If we feel like you're trying, it's like, all right. But, yeah, there's this past Thanksgiving, just to keep it pretty recent. I was floored at the number of people that had never tasted or heard of sweet potato pie.

[Truck Week Voice]

Never heard of it.

[Apple Music Voice]

Never heard of it. They heard of pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is our culture's, like, baseline for a holiday pie. Sweet potato pie is baseline. Baseline for black. For black.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

That's the ceiling. And when people. My girl made it, and when people tried it, they were like, oh. Like, they were just like, why don't people eat this? It was just like, some obs. Like, you came out with kiwi or something. They were like, oh, this is some weird. You know, it was just grapefruit.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Huh. I'll try it.

[Apple Music Voice]

But, yeah, this is gonna be popular. But it's like, that's the same thing with Kwanzaa. Is Kwanzaa gonna morph into pumpkin pie or is it gonna stay sweet potato pie? And that's the question.

[Truck Week Voice]

Well, I would love for Patti LaBelle to make my Kwanzaa, so I'm into it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah. Patti LaBelle does Kwanzaa pies. That'd be pretty cool.

[Apple Music Voice]

Oh, I can't imagine how good that'd be.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, that's the crossover we've been waiting for.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Patty, get on the phone. Baby girl.

[Apple Music Voice]

Come on.

[Truck Week Voice]

It's right there.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We've been calling you. You gotta pick up.

[Truck Week Voice]

It's right there.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

We got a lot of ideas for you, Patty, but more importantly, we want Kwanzaa to become very popular. I do worry about it, I guess, is maybe my. My concern is that I do think. I think about it a lot in terms of larger black conversations, of how many things do we actually want to become as universal as we claim that we do that, like, and it's. It's something we see often on the Internet where people get upset when our culture becomes usurped and we feel like we deserve credit for the thing. That was a very popular thing with, like, these TikTok dances where, like, black kids were creating these beautiful choreographed dances, and then a white girl would go and do it and become much more popular off of this shit. And a part of me goes, stop showing these motherfuckers that shit.

[Apple Music Voice]

Right, Right.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Just keep it in house.

[Truck Week Voice]

Do you think that the nature of Kwanzaa though is a little different than even that of a Juneteenth, where it's like Juneteenth is like a celebration of a thing that happened in America. So it's able to be co opted where Kwanzaa is specifically created to be this like Pan Africanist, like holiday. I don't think that. So to that I guess I say I don't think it scales up. Cause I don't think that they get on board.

[Apple Music Voice]

Excuse me, I was just having this thought. I think the real, real time example that we have of it is pride.

[Truck Week Voice]

Look how crossover straight white ladies love.

[Apple Music Voice]

Pride and straight white guys go to pride because straight white ladies are at pride. And I know for a fact gay men. That was like, I used to get my ass kicked. My boyfriend got his teeth knocked out because we were holding hands in 1982 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. And now to see those same dudes at our parade, I'm sure infuriates them. But there are probably gay younger LGBTQ folks that are like, but this is what we wanted. So it's the price of admission and the price of admission to be accepted by the greater United States or zeitgeist culture, whatever is, you have to give up the. This is ours. And you have to watch somebody who didn't give a fuck about it commodify it and make money off it and act like they thought of it.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And I think that's really where I struggle with, with it is the commodifying. I'm fine with it becoming a commodity we all benefit from, but when it starts becoming the type of commodity that like, truly, only the motherfuckers that didn't invest in it in the first place are the ones making the money off of it, it gets scary.

[Apple Music Voice]

Well, it's every. Look at the weed business, right? Look how many.

[Truck Week Voice]

Yeah, it's going to be. Coca Cola has a Kwanzaa flavor and all this.

[Apple Music Voice]

Yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And it's hard to know where this starts and stops.

[Truck Week Voice]

But I mean, I think that's an American thing more so than it's even a black thing is it's like what's being offered up in culture that isn't eventually going to be co opted by corporations.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

I don't know. And I pray if we can wrap this thing up, I pray that Kwanzaa somehow becomes the miracle holiday. If there is a miracle inside of Kwanzaa, I think the miracle would be Kwanzaa, by some miracle being the first holiday that remains at its core fully black, but also gains the popularity that it deserves in unifying black people.

[Truck Week Voice]

Well, Langston, tis the season. I believe in this Kwanzaa Day miracle.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Hell, yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Kwanzaa Day. Kwanzaa week. What do they call the menorah?

[Apple Music Voice]

The Menorah.

[Truck Week Voice]

The Kwanzaa Menorah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah, the Kwanzaa.

[Apple Music Voice]

Oh, I don't know.

[Truck Week Voice]

That was confusing.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

The Kwanzaa stick.

[Truck Week Voice]

The Kwanzaa stick.

[Apple Music Voice]

And yeah. And when you see it at Target, and it's better homes and living, you know, there are no African Americans on that board.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

When Hasbro has a game for Kwanzaa, yeah.

[Apple Music Voice]

Target always wants some white kid, stands up, I win.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

It's like I'm the king of Kwanzaa.

[Apple Music Voice]

But, I mean, in a weird way, good for him, because more people know about it. So it's the constant struggle.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Oh, man.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Yikes. Al, you want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Apple Music Voice]

You can find me at Al Jackson on ig and you can listen to me on Daytime Talk After Dark, where we. It's my old Daily Blast live show. But we're right here in this here studio. Shout out, dude. IDK Studios for holding me down. Shout out Nick. Shout out Jacob. But yeah, and just check my website, Al JacksonLive for dates, but mostly follow me on Instagram.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Fuck yeah.

[Truck Week Voice]

Bori coolguyjokes87 on Instagram. Birth of a Nation on all streaming platforms. Patreon.com Davidborg Hell yeah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. And you can watch my special, it's called Bad Poetry. It's on Netflix. Watch English Teacher, it's on fx. And if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us what the actual menorah for Kwanzaa is called, send it all to mymamapodmail.com youm can also call us at 8844, Lil Moms. We would love to hear from you, hear your sweet, sweet voices. Send it all. Call us. Rate Review. Subscribe. Buy the merch. Celebrate Kwanzaa.

[Truck Week Voice]

Come on.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Bye, bitch. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kirkman, co host, hosted by David.

[Truck Week Voice]

Bourie, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

And Olivia Aguilar, co produced by Bay.

[Truck Week Voice]

Wang, edited and engineered by Justin Kah.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Music by Nick Chambers.

[Truck Week Voice]

Artwork by Dogon Kriega.

[Oscar Mayer Voice]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow YMama told me and subscribe to our channel.

[Coca Cola Voice]

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola.

[Comedy Announcer]

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[Oscar Mayer Voice]

Scott Patterson from I Am All In Again Podcast Life Short Talk Fast Stream Gilmore Girls on Hulu that's right, grab your coffee and get cozy because all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls are now on Hulu. Stream all the witty, banner, heartwarming moments and awkward Friday night dinners with Lorelei, Rory, and the eclectic mix of characters. Whether you're rewatching or going Gilmore for the first time, Hulu has you covered. It's a show. It's a lifestyle. It's now streaming on Hulu.

[Deli Mex Voice]

How crispy are the new Deli Mix? Crispy Quesadillas. Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Deli Mex Crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up. If you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute.

[Apple Music Voice]

Mmm, so crispy.

[Deli Mex Voice]

Like barely hear myself think Crispy. These should come with a warning. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mex Crispy Quesadillas in the frozen aisle.

[Apple Music Voice]

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