Luka Dončić…The Smartest Trade in NBA History (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Luka Dončić…The Smartest Trade in NBA History"

Podcast Information:

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Hosts: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Hosts' Names: Langston Kerman and David Borey
• Episode Title: Luka Dončić…The Smartest Trade in NBA History
• Release Date: February 4, 2025
• Description: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Borey explore intriguing Black conspiracy theories, blending humor with deep dives into both silly and serious topics.

---

1. Introduction to Luka Dončić's Trade (02:05 - 04:04)

The episode kicks off with Langston Kerman (referred to as Kendall) and David Borey delving into the high-profile NBA trade of Luka Dončić to the Los Angeles Lakers. They ponder the strategic motivations behind the trade, speculating whether external factors like environmental issues influenced the decision.

Notable Quote:

David Borey [02:05]: "Luka is about to cash in on everything America has to offer."

2. Unpacking the Conspiracy: Wildfires and Los Angeles' Fame (04:04 - 07:00)

The hosts hypothesize that the trade might not solely be based on basketball prowess but could be connected to broader societal issues. David suggests, almost rhetorically, that the Lakers were "down bad" due to wildfires, necessitating a stellar player like Luka to uplift the team's image and fan engagement.

Notable Quote:

David Borey [03:30]: "I think they gave Luka to the Lakers because of the wildfires."

Kendall adds his skepticism about the fairness of the trade, emphasizing that it "doesn't make any sense."

3. The Lakers' Legacy and Potential Challenges for Luka (07:00 - 12:10)

Comparing Luka's impending experience with that of LeBron James, the discussion turns to the potential pitfalls of moving to Los Angeles. They recall how other stars like Steve Nash and Dwight Howard struggled to adapt to the city's pressures and spotlight.

Notable Quote:

Kendall [07:21]: "It was right after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this city could take a man down."

The conversation underscores the risks Luka might face, despite his immense talent, in a market known for its high stakes and intense scrutiny.

4. Voicemails and Listener Contributions (25:34 - 49:58)

The episode features listener voicemails, one of which intriguingly points out a resemblance between the late Jermaine Stewart and Candace Owens. The hosts humorously explore this comparison, weaving it into their broader discussion on appearance and identity.

Notable Quote:

Listener [25:34]: "Jermaine Stewart looks like Candace Owens. I would love it if you guys would, like, have a side by side comparison so everybody could see it."

Langston and David engage in a playful banter about this resemblance, reflecting on Jermaine Stewart's legacy and the unexpected ways listeners connect with celebrities.

5. Philosophical Musings: Life, Morality, and Responsibility (42:17 - 50:05)

Transitioning from sports and pop culture, the hosts delve into deeper philosophical territory. They discuss why it often feels like "good people die early and people who aren't good live a really long time," questioning divine intent and the moral frameworks imposed by society.

Notable Quote:

Kendall [42:17]: "Why does it seem like the good people die early and, like, people who aren't good live a really long time?"

This segment reveals the hosts' contemplative side, addressing existential questions and societal perceptions of morality and purpose.

6. Generational Gaps and Societal Change (48:45 - 49:58)

Continuing their exploration of societal issues, Langston and David discuss the challenges older generations face in adapting to evolving social norms, particularly regarding language and inclusivity. They controversially suggest limiting the voting age to mitigate conflicts between generations, highlighting tensions in contemporary discourse.

Notable Quote:

Kendall [48:55]: "We should be coming together to discuss how we can cut the voting age after a certain point. I think certainly 55 seems reasonable to me."

This provocative stance sparks reflection on the interplay between age, experience, and societal progress.

7. Closing Thoughts and Future Aspirations (50:03 - 53:21)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts share their personal aspirations outside the podcasting realm. Langston expresses a desire to dance on Janet Jackson's tour, showcasing his whimsical side, while David contemplates pursuing filmmaking, despite feeling underqualified.

Notable Quote:

Kendall [13:06]: "I'd be a dancer. You know what I mean? Like, I would just, like, showed up as a dancer on Janet Jackson's tour."

This light-hearted exchange underscores the hosts' camaraderie and willingness to dream beyond their current endeavors.

8. Final Remarks and Call to Action (53:21 - 54:41)

In their final moments, Langston and David promote their online presence and upcoming comedy shows, encouraging listeners to engage through social media and attend live events. They humorously invite listeners to share their own conspiracy theories, fostering a sense of community and participation.

Notable Quote:

Kendall [50:08]: "Send us your own drop. Send us your own conspiracy theories."

---

Conclusion: In this episode, "My Momma Told Me" masterfully blends humor with insightful commentary, dissecting the Luka Dončić trade through the lens of both sports analysis and broader societal conspiracies. Hosts Langston Kerman and David Borey navigate a range of topics from NBA strategies and celebrity impersonations to deep philosophical debates, all while maintaining an engaging and entertaining dialogue. Notable for their candid exchanges and thought-provoking questions, the hosts offer listeners a comprehensive and enjoyable exploration of their chosen conspiracy theory, making the episode a must-listen for both fans of the show and newcomers alike.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• David Borey [02:05]: "Luka is about to cash in on everything America has to offer."
• David Borey [03:30]: "I think they gave Luka to the Lakers because of the wildfires."
• Kendall [07:21]: "It was right after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this city could take a man down."
• Listener [25:34]: "Jermaine Stewart looks like Candace Owens. I would love it if you guys would, like, have a side by side comparison so everybody could see it."
• Kendall [42:17]: "Why does it seem like the good people die early and, like, people who aren't good live a really long time?"
• Kendall [48:55]: "We should be coming together to discuss how we can cut the voting age after a certain point. I think certainly 55 seems reasonable to me."
• Kendall [13:06]: "I'd be a dancer. You know what I mean? Like, I would just, like, showed up as a dancer on Janet Jackson's tour."
• Kendall [50:08]: "Send us your own drop. Send us your own conspiracy theories."

Transcript

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[David Borey]

Luke is about to cash in on everything America has to offer.

[Kendall]

And he's like 26.

[David Borey]

I forget about that.

[Kendall]

He's not even an old man.

[David Borey]

Cause he's got that. He's got that Jokic thing where they.

[Kendall]

Yeah, he looks like shit, but he's not old.

[David Borey]

It's hard years over there it was 26 he got him the long way.

[Kendall]

Yeah, if he missed a shot, they shooting him. The government growing babies Microchips in your.

[David Borey]

Anus all koala bears are racist.

[Kendall]

The ozone layer owes me money Marching to.

[David Borey]

Ben and turkey stuff Y'all can't tell me nothing? Ay yai yai yai yai yai yai ya who that, who that, who that, who that, who that, who that, who. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

[Kendall]

Me podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.

[David Borey]

And we finally work to prove some shit. Just try to figure some shit out.

[Kendall]

There's some shit. It don't matter what it is.

[David Borey]

Come on.

[Kendall]

We're open to some shit.

[David Borey]

Just a couple fellas trying to get to the bottom of it. Speaking of getting to the bottom of it, you know what I've been thinking?

[Kendall]

I'm listening.

[David Borey]

This sounds crazy. I think they gave Luca to the Lakers because of the wildfires.

[Kendall]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

They were like, la's down bad. We can't have Hollywood's favorite team looking bad. Whoa. Go on and give them some Luca.

[Kendall]

Go ahead. Give them something to believe in for a few years.

[David Borey]

Come on. We can't have the Lakers asked out like that.

[Kendall]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

Cause why else? Why Langston? Why did they do that?

[Kendall]

I'll be honest. It wasn't a fair trade.

[David Borey]

It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't even make any sense.

[Kendall]

And I don't pretend anymore to be, like, a true expert at this shit. You know what I mean? There are those guys that, like, know all the point systems and can figure out the value of each individual player. I'm not doing none of that, but if. If I am the Dallas Mavericks, you went home and you went, fuck, bro.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying.

[Kendall]

What did we do? What did we do? What did we do?

[David Borey]

Why would we do this other than. And listen, it's cool.

[Kendall]

It was awesome.

[David Borey]

I'm excited. I don't really care, actually. Like, I'm excited for LA to have that. I feel like I would like to see what happen. Uh. Oh. I would like to see what happens Sports wise. After 9 11, I was not paying a lot of attention.

[Kendall]

Which heroes really stepped up in. In the. In 2001.

[David Borey]

Come on. Yeah, come on. Because it just feels crazy. It does like it. And like I said, you. Like you said, I'm not an expert in any way, but it's very rare that you see something that makes. Feels like it makes that little sense.

[Kendall]

It made no sense. And it was in the dark of night that they announced this.

[David Borey]

Nighttime, after the tariffs.

[Kendall]

Well, okay. This is a conspiracy I found myself landing on because I agree with you 100%. This felt insane, but a part of me went, I think this is answering the problem that Adam Silver's been having with those numbers. Every week we're getting told NBA numbers are down, nobody's watching anymore, the game isn't the way it's supposed to be. Every week we're being told that Adam Silver makes a few calls and figures out a new plot for. For a otherwise broken story.

[David Borey]

I get that. I mean, I think it's like doing something drastic. It's like having a baby to fix a relationship. Like, this shit's going crazy.

[Kendall]

We're not gonna make it.

[Chumba Casino]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

We gotta do something. We gotta do something.

[Kendall]

You can't live like this forever.

[David Borey]

I have to keep her next to me.

[Kendall]

But look, Luka to the Lakers. I bet you. I bet you numbers shoot up for at least a few months, brother.

[David Borey]

And then we gotta deal with Los Angeles.

[Kendall]

Luka, come on, man.

[David Borey]

That could be. Luka's about to have two podcasts.

[Kendall]

This dude ain't never. He's never even been anywhere yet.

[David Borey]

No, he doesn't. He's never been outside. He's never been outside.

[Kendall]

He hasn't had time. He's been this massive franchise player for. He hasn't even done it yet, bro.

[David Borey]

Luka. Is Luka married?

[Kendall]

I don't know, but he's about to date Saweetie.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

[Kendall]

He's about to be with Saweetie, bro.

[David Borey]

That's how hard he's been working. We don't know if he's married.

[Kendall]

Come on, man.

[David Borey]

Bro, this is. It's going to be crazy. Yeah, it's going to be crazy.

[Kendall]

No, it's nuts.

[David Borey]

I hope, because, like, I kind of want. I want to. I want to see what he's like.

[Kendall]

Oh.

[David Borey]

Like, I want to see. I want to see.

[Kendall]

You want to see the true cut of his jib?

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah. Because this city will destroy. Destroy a man, bro.

[Kendall]

The amount of heroes that have ended up here, broken men, is pretty crazy, bro.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying. It's tough.

[Kendall]

Like, not even. Like, Steve Nash couldn't cut it in la.

[David Borey]

Come on.

[Kendall]

Fucking Dwight Howard and Primed or White Howard couldn't cut it in la.

[David Borey]

That was Superman Howard.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

No, no, it wasn't.

[Kendall]

It was right after.

[David Borey]

It was right after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this city could take a man down.

[Kendall]

No, it's bad.

[David Borey]

But Eastern Europe is a hard place, so maybe he rises to the. What if Luka becomes the new Mr. Hollywood basketball?

[Kendall]

That's crazy.

[David Borey]

What if he becomes more charismatic than LeBron? Whoa.

[Kendall]

He's like the. He's like Magic Johnson, but with a silly accent, dog.

[David Borey]

Cause here's what I'm saying. Space Jam with Luka. It's not worse than space jam with LeBron.

[Kendall]

It can't be.

[David Borey]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kendall]

It literally can't be. Even if he turned. If he turned to one of the monsters in the middle and he went, oh, brother, I'm sort of an alien, too, and then they both look down the barrel of the camera, it'll still be better than what LeBron made for space. Jesus.

[David Borey]

That's what I'm saying. That movie was really upset.

[Kendall]

It was a nightmare, man.

[David Borey]

That shit sucked. And I ride for Cheadle, man.

[Kendall]

Bro, I had to. There was a minute where I had to take a break on a little bit of dime.

[David Borey]

Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Kendall]

No, I really did. I watched that movie, and I said, I thought you were a man of principle. I thought you cared about this art form. I now know that you're willing to cash in.

[David Borey]

You did Hotel Rwanda, and this is.

[Kendall]

Where the fuck you're willing to go.

[David Borey]

All right.

[Kendall]

I still love him. I still think he's one of the best, Arguably one of the best we have as performers, as celebrities in totality.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah. He is one of the fucking best as Denver citizens.

[Kendall]

Oh, he's a Denver citizen?

[David Borey]

Yeah. Chauncey Billup's cousin.

[Kendall]

Whoa. He's the best.

[David Borey]

Come on, baby. But, hey, that was a bad look for everybody.

[Kendall]

Answer for yourself a little bit.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Except for LeBron.

[Kendall]

No. LeBron did what he was supposed to do.

[David Borey]

Yeah. That was exactly what it was gonna be.

[Kendall]

He knew right from the start.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kendall]

He's like, I can't act. What y'all want from me? Yeah. If y'all let me make Space Jam, then I'm gonna make Space Jam.

[David Borey]

And that's all we want from him. Come on. He's a big, strong boy doing his best out here. That's.

[Kendall]

It's nasty, though. If Luka. If Luka suddenly takes on that new tentpole position. That's scary stuff.

[David Borey]

I don't know how you could not. I don't think that. I don't think you come here as an athlete of that level of notoriety and don't get influenced at all. You know what I'm saying?

[Kendall]

Well, I mean, it's tough, right, Because Anthony Davis would have been that if he were here alone. But he had LeBron James sort of as the catch all for that responsibility. And so it's hard to know how many stars we could have had not be that had they been here without like their counterpart to sort of.

[David Borey]

That's fair.

[Kendall]

Take that response. Because even like the Kobe, it took a minute before Kobe was the guy of the city. Shaq was the guy of the city for a.

[David Borey]

That might just be literally a size thing.

[Kendall]

That's true.

[David Borey]

You put them next to each other.

[Kendall]

I'm going to go with the big guy.

[David Borey]

Look at his little guy.

[Kendall]

Yeah. Pick the big one.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Kobe wasn't out like that. He was waking up at 4:00am no.

[Kendall]

Yeah. I mean, he did Moesha.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kendall]

I don't know.

[David Borey]

He.

[Kendall]

He was trying to be cool.

[David Borey]

Oh, didn't he rap for a second?

[Kendall]

Oh, he definitely rapped.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that's right.

[Kendall]

Yeah, yeah. No, he raps. He had a whole mixtape.

[David Borey]

I don't like that.

[Kendall]

Not as bad.

[David Borey]

You have to. You can only be so good at basketball and rap. I think Jello hit it kind of perfect. He's where you cannot quite be. You could be great. You can't be active in the league. Good.

[Kendall]

He's. I think that's the part that, that the fact that he's just paired with these two much more talented brothers is very unfortunate because at the end of the day, he still is unbelievable at basketball.

[David Borey]

Right.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? Like Just as a human being, he ain't top 350 to be able to make the league and he's not even another 150 for the G League. But he certainly is a top, you know, 1,000 players on earth basketball player.

[David Borey]

And that's how good you have to be to also rap.

[Kendall]

And he's right in the right pocket.

[David Borey]

Because we talked about it. With titties and ass. God doesn't give with both hands.

[Kendall]

Sure.

[David Borey]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kendall]

Yeah. No, I agree.

[David Borey]

So it's like his titties are just big enough to have a huge ass.

[Kendall]

Who do you think is the best rapper that the league has ever produced?

[David Borey]

Damn, that is tough. I mean, Master P got like a two day, ten day contract.

[Kendall]

Don't do that. Master P is not. If we give Master P an NBA. That was a purchase contract. I think we can all agree.

[David Borey]

Cause he was old, too, huh?

[Kendall]

He wasn't in anybody's NBA shape. Do you know what I mean? Like, we didn't see him, like, stop down on the music to really lock in.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

This nigga was on top of tanks.

[David Borey]

Which is also a shot that you have to take. If you get it, though.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

If you get famous enough for them to let you do a thing you truly love and are not qualified.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You have to. I can't wait.

[Kendall]

J. Cole tried.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Remember? Did he play Africa?

[Kendall]

Yeah, he went and played in Africa for a while. And even before he did that, he was, like, showing up to the dunk contest and trying to dunk one. Like, he was, like. He was trying to be funny about it, but he was really trying to be like, hey, y'all, I'm out here. I'm really, like, with the shits.

[David Borey]

Okay. In that vein, I have a question for you. What is something that you are completely under qualified to do that you love? That if we blow this podcast up, you're gonna go do?

[Kendall]

I'm gonna go try to do.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

I'd be a dancer.

[David Borey]

Wow.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

I don't even know what. No, I don't even know what the avenue is for that.

[Kendall]

I don't either. You know what I mean? Like, I would. What I want, what I think would be so funny and so cool, is if I just, like, showed up as a dancer on Janet Jackson's tour, and.

[David Borey]

It'S just still you with your career.

[Kendall]

And I'm just in the background.

[David Borey]

Not even, like. Not even in the front.

[Kendall]

No. Just wherever she needs me.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? You're a role player. She's got your thing. You're a role player.

[Kendall]

My responsibility is to sell the whole show, but I'm serving as hard as I fucking can.

[David Borey]

I like that every night of the.

[Kendall]

Tour, and I never bring it up.

[David Borey]

Cause you know what is funny about that? Everybody would love it. Because it was like when Michael Jordan played baseball, where they're like, he's not very good, but damn. Hard worker. Yeah, hard worker. He goes, you know how many balls he hit yesterday? That's gonna be it. They're gonna be like, we were on tour. Langston's on the bus, popping coochie, just getting ready for that Berlin Day.

[Kendall]

But I think that is so funny.

[David Borey]

It's funny.

[Kendall]

And that then at least makes me feel true to my character. I'm not being a monster and just, like, stepping out of my humanity. I'm just being like, no. What's the funniest thing I could do? I'm gonna go pop pussy.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I like that.

[Kendall]

Behind Janet Jackson and never bring it up with anybody.

[David Borey]

I like that. Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Kendall]

What would you do, man?

[David Borey]

I've been thinking about it. I don't know. Because all the stuff I ever wanted to do in a realistic way was in this realm.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I think that. Oh, I pretend. I pretend to be an Arturo. I pretend to be like a Paul Thomas Anderson style filmmaker.

[Kendall]

Wow.

[David Borey]

I would make like really artsy movies that are bad. But that's funny because they're bad.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Oh. Like intentionally you would make them bad?

[David Borey]

I would just make them how I want them to be.

[Kendall]

And you don't have the potential for that artistry.

[David Borey]

I. I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah, because like, music seems like you have to sort of invest a little too much. And I have like no musical talent per se. And it's just so many people flip to rap, you know what I mean, that nobody would care. So I kind of have to go somewhere. I wonder what I would do.

[Kendall]

Yeah. To me, the music feels a little like the coward's way out.

[David Borey]

Yeah, it's too.

[Kendall]

Cause you can make a nice beat and be bad at music. You know what I mean? We know too many examples of untalented people already grifting over there.

[David Borey]

Right? Eddie Murphy already partied all the time.

[Kendall]

Yeah, man.

[David Borey]

Oh, you know what? No, I'd be a painter.

[Kendall]

Oh, that's nice.

[David Borey]

I would be a painter.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Because like, I had to do some shit like last year, I think it was. And it's like so fun and soothing and really nice to paint.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

But it's like I'm so. My shit is behind the fridge right now, bro. It's so bad.

[Kendall]

It's not. It's not a product you're ready to show anybody.

[David Borey]

It's so bad. But I enjoy it. I think it's like. It's like. It feels nice. Nice.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

It working in that visual media.

[Kendall]

So.

[David Borey]

Yeah, just be a pain. I have a gallery. And then I would like to. Your dancing thing, I would kick it with real artists, right. And then I'd be like, hey, Kehinde.

[Kendall]

Yeah. What you think of my.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah. Just like, just put it in the back.

[Kendall]

Hey, hey, man, we gotta link up, man.

[David Borey]

Come on. You were on the pod. You were great. Let me put it in the back.

[Kendall]

I think that's smart, man. Everybody Needs. And I want to encourage everybody listening, everybody should think about what their grift would be if they had enough money to escape the fucking hamster wheel of the life you've created.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Not your passion.

[Kendall]

No.

[David Borey]

Not your passion.

[Kendall]

No.

[David Borey]

That's important to note. Not your passion.

[Kendall]

Because hopefully your life is your passion to some extent. We pray that everybody at home is living some version of a dream that they've had.

[David Borey]

Exactly. I'm talking about the scam.

[Kendall]

Yeah. Where you're like, I have enough resources that I can just fuck around a little bit.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is also product lines. I would want to do that too.

[Kendall]

It is an unreasonable thing that we ask of celebrities and rich people to not fuck around a little bit.

[David Borey]

Bro, you're so lucky. Anyway, like, it's like when people get mad at people taking their other shot or they're like, stick to. Like. I always get mad with athletes. That whole idea of stick to playing basketball.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

It's like, I played basketball good enough that you know who I am, Billy Bob.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You think I'm gonna shut up and dribble? Get everything you came for?

[Kendall]

I wanna exist.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

I wanna.

[David Borey]

And especially with basketball, you know that shit's not gonna last. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Like, you've got, what, 10 years on average and it's not on average than that.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think it's less than that.

[Kendall]

Yeah. It's some short ass window of your life that you can actually just fucking play. And even then, how many of those years are you truly playing the way that you dreamt of playing the game?

[David Borey]

Exactly.

[Kendall]

No, it's crazy.

[David Borey]

And as someone who's gotten close enough to his dream fairly to know this shit is disheartening anyways because you loved whatever you loved on a purity level. And then when the business and whatever gets involved, you get to this point where you will be disillusioned with it.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like they. Sometimes they lie to you. Especially like football players and stuff. But, like, for the most part. Right.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I think crazy things.

[Kendall]

I think there is. I think there is no truth to the fantasy.

[David Borey]

Right.

[Kendall]

The fantasy is the. Is what inspires you. It's what makes you want to pursue whatever your career is. But that is a fallacy because once you get there, there's responsibilities, there's etiquette, there's disappointment across every facet of this shit. And you go, okay, well, it wasn't what I thought it would be, but I'm still happy to be here.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And that's what I think we need to because I don't want this to. I I fucking love my job, baby.

[Kendall]

Yeah, it's a great job.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It was amazing.

[Kendall]

The fact that any of you listen to this blows our fucking mind.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I am talking cheek about it to protect myself from the eventual downfall that I will have from my actions within this room.

[Kendall]

Come on baby.

[David Borey]

Am I speaking to specifically what I did yesterday? Yes. Which we are going to cut out right?

[Kendall]

Yeah. We can cut that out. Yeah. The we didn't come here to talk about your crimes.

[David Borey]

No, no no no. We. It was funny though.

[Kendall]

It was. I laughed and then I got scared.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Foreign.

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[Kendall]

We got voicemail. Yeah, we have multiple voicemails, but we have.

[David Borey]

Which. Thank you guys.

[Kendall]

To start with.

[David Borey]

Yeah, you guys have been calling in. That's real cool. Some breathy. Some breathy intros.

[Kendall]

Lot of y'all are coming at us.

[David Borey]

Some breathy intros.

[Kendall]

A lot of y'all are coming at us with the lights turned down.

[David Borey]

Yo, that's. Yeah, with like some pantyhose over the lamp.

[Kendall]

Yeah, it's weird vibes coming down the old voicemail chain.

[David Borey]

You ever do that? You like mood lighting? Sexually?

[Kendall]

Man, I can't say that I've done too much dabbling in the moonlighting me mood lighting. It's a lot of harsh bulbs. Yeah, it's a lot of getting to business.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of get it on before you realize everything I don't have in this apartment.

[Kendall]

I had an ex that decorated her room with string lights and I remember that kind of being a vibe, like a mood lighting sort of situation. But that Wasn't my work. That was just some shit I, you know, I enjoyed another person decided we should do. But, like, I've never been a hero and been like, hey, we should give ourselves a little naughty light.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Like, that don't feel like, honestly.

[David Borey]

And I got my hands full with the other thing. I don't really care that much. Yeah.

[Kendall]

I'm really trying to stay focused. Yeah.

[David Borey]

I'm trying to be. Trying to be a hero in one category.

[Kendall]

Whatever you need. But also, let's stay. Let's keep our eye on the ball.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I got a thing I have to focus on. There's a finish line.

[Kendall]

Yeah, No, I can do that.

[David Borey]

And for me. But I want you to get to yours first.

[Kendall]

Yeah. It's more important.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah. When people. Cool.

[Kendall]

I'm gonna get mine.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I'm gonna get mine. Thinking about it on the Uber home, not in the Uber.

[Kendall]

You made yourself clear, right?

[David Borey]

No, no, no.

[Kendall]

Right on top of the Uber.

[David Borey]

Treat that Uber like a dollar tree. Call back.

[Kendall]

Yeah. You gotta go back and watch an episode to know what that means. We got a voicemail. It's a. It's a quick one, but. But I'm excited. Let's listen to it now.

[David Borey]

Good evening, little mamas and gentiles alike. And to the new little nasties, this is more of a statement than a question. My name is Art. First time, long time, first time caller, long time watcher and listener. But my statement is that Jermaine Stewart looks like Candace Owens. I would love it if you guys would, like, have a side by side comparison so everybody could see it. That's all I got for you.

[Kendall]

Thank you. God damn it.

[David Borey]

That's what I like about this show. Our listeners are hilarious. They got the same hair.

[Kendall]

That's devastating hair. Oh, my God. That's devastating for her.

[David Borey]

For the entire Owens family, really. I first of all wanted to say, man, fuck yeah, man.

[Kendall]

They look just alike.

[David Borey]

Yeah, man, they're identical. Yeah, that's. I mean, what if we go even deeper? Look at that. Here's what I'm wondering. Cause Jermaine Stewart dead. Yeah. Or is he.

[Kendall]

I will come back and possess the soul of a very confused black woman.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Maybe he went down to come back.

[Kendall]

Up and he's like, I'm gonna get y'all niggas. Ye.

[David Borey]

I saw the James Brown movie. They said, sometimes you got to get down to get on up.

[Kendall]

Get on up.

[David Borey]

That's hilarious. It's crazy.

[Kendall]

It's unbelievably true.

[David Borey]

It's Uncanny. It's uncanny. When you look at it, it's crazy.

[Kendall]

How much these two look alike.

[David Borey]

And if you guys don't know Jermaine Stewart, he's sang the famous song we don't have to. Is it called Close off the song where he's saying about not fucking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kendall]

To have a good time. Yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

Dancing party.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

All night. Which is. Now that I'm singing it. I could see you getting it to that.

[Kendall]

Come on, man.

[David Borey]

I could see. I could see because, like, I. Cause here's. Sorry to go back. I know we're backtracking a little bit to get to you. For you to get that, you have to have, like, a TikTok go crazy or something where it's like, I saw Langston dancing into Jermaine Stewart.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

He was going nuts. Going nuts. And then Janet reposts it. Love this. Or like, heart eyes.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And then we don't hear anything about it.

[Kendall]

Six months later, suddenly my people are making a few calls.

[David Borey]

Yep.

[Kendall]

Janet's people are answering a few calls. Like you said, six months down the line, I'm at the United center, baby.

[David Borey]

Mr. Kerman, if you're nasty.

[Kendall]

I'm getting a little bit of that Blue Ivy solo.

[David Borey]

That's exactly what we want.

[Kendall]

That's all I want, bro.

[David Borey]

That's exactly. Exactly what it is.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? I don't even. Cause it ain't even gotta be my show. I just want that moment where Jen is like, ha, ha. And then I go, yeah. And just hit that shit.

[David Borey]

That could be so good.

[Kendall]

That would be dope.

[David Borey]

But, yeah, caller, this is exactly right. What do you think about Jermaine's. What do you think about that song?

[Kendall]

I don't think it's one of those songs that I don't think I had ever analyzed the lyrics for. I never put any thought into the fact that he's telling people, like, don't. Don't fuck.

[David Borey]

Oh.

[Kendall]

To me, it just was, like, so sort of catchy.

[David Borey]

Poppy. Yeah, yeah.

[Kendall]

Like music. It had no meaning whatsoever.

[David Borey]

Okay. Because for me, weirdly, because this was one of the. It was just on the radio stations my mom was playing all the time. This was one of those ones that even as a kid, when I first saw the video, I was like. Like, I don't believe him.

[Kendall]

Wow.

[David Borey]

Even as a kid, I was like, I don't know. This doesn't.

[Kendall]

You thought he was lying? You thought he was fucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

It's so anti. Everything you know about musicians, and he was Young, Right. And it was like, at a time, it just seemed very anti everything. And then when I. When I saw the video, I was like, I don't think he wants to fuck that girl.

[Kendall]

Yeah, I think he's fucking.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think it ain't that girl. I think he just wants to drink some cherry wine with you, baby girl.

[Kendall]

Yeah, I. I certainly. The man looks too much like Candace Owens to have been genuinely heterosexual.

[David Borey]

That's what. And I think he. I think his demise kind of feels a little bit like that, right?

[Kendall]

He died. He. We should say he died of AIDS complications.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

And, yeah, it feels like you were a part of a community that you weren't will willing, probably able to be open about. And ultimately, you know, a lot of pop stars, their music is written for them or these songs.

[David Borey]

Oh, I didn't think about that. Maybe somebody else gave it to them.

[Kendall]

I think a lot of it's, you know, you're a cute kid or you're like a talented person. And they go, we wrote a hit for you.

[David Borey]

And all the straight guys probably passed on that. Yeah.

[Kendall]

They were like, nah.

[David Borey]

Bobby Brown is like, hell, no. Wait till you hear my new shit.

[Kendall]

Bobby Brown's like. But then you're lying, because that's the only way I have a good time. I ain't never had a good time with my clothes on. They gotta come off. And if nothing else, Bobby Brown is about integrity.

[David Borey]

He just starts playing.

[Kendall]

Now, if you'll excuse me, fellas, I gotta get to fabbing fun.

[David Borey]

I got these bike shorts with my name down the side, man, if we could get Bobby Brown, dawg, if Bobby.

[Kendall]

Would come kick it with us, that'd be dope.

[David Borey]

I think. I think he would.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I think Bobby's fun.

[Kendall]

I bet he is.

[David Borey]

I think he's so fun.

[Kendall]

We gotta get more popping before we reach out to Bobby Brown.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kendall]

Cause I want him to come at his best, you know what I mean?

[David Borey]

I don't want him to be upset. I don't want any of these people that we speak about, like, with such a reverence. I want them to be happy to come in here because we've had some people not so excited to come in here.

[Kendall]

Yeah, we've had a lot of people.

[David Borey]

Yeah, a lot of.

[Kendall]

Oh, yeah. Who thought this was gonna be different.

[David Borey]

Yeah, a lot of people thought this was Breakfast Club 2.

[Kendall]

They look around the studio and they go, all right. Okay.

[David Borey]

A lot of calls to PR firms after the interview.

[Kendall]

Stop wasting my time. I'm trying to promote a Movie here. I barely see my kids. You got me talking to boys.

[David Borey]

Boys. I came in the alley.

[Kendall]

In the alley. I was so scared.

[David Borey]

The dark one was all sweaty. Oh, man.

[Kendall]

Oh, what was the voicemail even about? I don't even remember anymore.

[David Borey]

It was the Kansas Owens.

[Kendall]

Oh, Candace. He looks. He looks just like her. She looks like him and she's an awful, awful person.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I don't feel bad making fun of her.

[Kendall]

Not one redeemable queen.

[David Borey]

He seemed great.

[Kendall]

He seemed awesome. And it's unfortunate that he died of at such a young age of such an ugly disease that now we know could have been prevented by healthier communication around sex and safety.

[David Borey]

Yeah. You know what I liked about him? He had that big ass hook. You ever see a guy with a hoop that's too big? You remember that back in the day? Yeah, it was always like. It was like, that's a bold guy.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Hoop a little too big or like double big ass hoops. And you're like, damn, you look like a prostitute.

[Kendall]

Which was a word we said back then.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was cool. It was cool. It was cool. Yeah. I love a too big hoop. Remember? Was it Wesley in New Jack City? Little bit too big of a hoop.

[Kendall]

Oh, you thought that was too big?

[David Borey]

You think he had a big ass hoop?

[Kendall]

You know what my problem is? I have really teeny tiny earlobes, right?

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

And because of that, I can't really.

[David Borey]

Do a hoop in general.

[Kendall]

They just hang to it, like hangs loose.

[David Borey]

Then it. Cause that does look like a woman's ear.

[Kendall]

It looks like a woman's ear. And more importantly, it looks like I'm sick.

[David Borey]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? Like, it really makes it look like I'm not all the way. Well, when you're like, hoop ain't in.

[David Borey]

The right way, I need you to be open to what I'm gonna ask you right now.

[Kendall]

I'm ready and I'm willing.

[David Borey]

This is gonna sound crazy. I ask to learn because you are light skinned. Do you worry about looking sick often?

[Kendall]

Not because I'm light skinned.

[David Borey]

Cause you're thin.

[Kendall]

I think thin is a factor.

[David Borey]

Because nobody ever thinks fat people are sick.

[Kendall]

No. Never once.

[David Borey]

Yo, that's so funny. I never thought about that. Never once, not one day with somebody like, you gotta call the door.

[Kendall]

I always say to myself, now they got too much nutrients coursing through their veins.

[David Borey]

Whatever is needed to fight off, they got it in ample amounts.

[Kendall]

Listen, some of us got an army, some of us got a fleet. Yo, that's so funny, yo.

[David Borey]

Because even me, I never seen a fat guy was like, oh, he looks sick. Yeah.

[Kendall]

No, and that's on us. No, we gotta be better.

[David Borey]

Yeah. That's not great. That's not great.

[Kendall]

I think a lot about going bald, cold. It hasn't happened. Thank God.

[David Borey]

I think you kind of passed it.

[Kendall]

If it was gonna happen, you know, Time is a. Time is a nasty, cruel winch. I don't know.

[David Borey]

Stay vigilant. I get it.

[Kendall]

I don't know when and if it'll ever happen, but I pray you know, it'll be.

[David Borey]

You're not even thinning, though.

[Kendall]

No, not at all.

[David Borey]

Yeah, same, same.

[Kendall]

I.

[David Borey]

But I overgrows my.

[Kendall]

My. My biggest fear is that if I go bald and I'm not like Buck, I'm. I'm in a bad way. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Oh, interesting. Yeah. I never thought about that.

[Kendall]

I gotta really go the rock route. If.

[David Borey]

Yeah, if it goes. You gotta, like, tighten everything.

[Kendall]

Otherwise you do look kind of. You know what I mean? You start to look a little sick to me.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And you just look old so fast.

[Kendall]

So fast.

[David Borey]

Balding, it does people.

[Kendall]

Yeah. It hits people hard. So, you know, I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to get on my Shemar more. My LL Cool J, they're a prime example. Plenty of examples.

[David Borey]

I'd be forgetting Shemar's bald.

[Kendall]

The goatee is so thick.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It's so black.

[Kendall]

It covers everything.

[David Borey]

So thick.

[Kendall]

Black. It's headphone black. It's the color. He dyes it.

[David Borey]

He's doing good. We get him on. I saw him coming through the J Hud line. Which, man, doesn't that seem good?

[Kendall]

Man? That's fun.

[David Borey]

It's like maybe it used to be. Doing stand up comedy on the Conan O'Brien show was like the thing I wanted the most.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Now they got that J Hud line.

[Kendall]

I want to do that J Hud line.

[David Borey]

I want to hear what song they sing.

[Kendall]

Uh huh.

[David Borey]

Go, Bory. Tell your story. You know what I mean? I don't know.

[Kendall]

Yeah. You got the practice of active surprise that they're there. Even though you knew this was about to happen because you've seen all the videos. Yeah.

[David Borey]

I've been taking lessons for you for weeks. Since I booked this shit. Since I booked this shit.

[Kendall]

Yeah. I hired a private choreographer.

[David Borey]

You think I'm not gonna.

[Kendall]

To help me look cool?

[David Borey]

Yeah. You think I just walked out of the dressing room with the cape on?

[Kendall]

You're absolutely right. I stuffed my pants a little bit so there's something showing in my slacks. Come on.

[David Borey]

That J Hud. That's the Kingmaker J Hud line.

[Kendall]

You gotta do it right or if.

[David Borey]

You blow it, Terence Howard with that little ponytail.

[Kendall]

You gotta do it right or you don't do it at all. No, I feel you.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that's important.

[Kendall]

We should take a break.

[David Borey]

All right, let's take a break.

[Kendall]

Let's take a break. And when we come back, maybe we'll do one more voicemail.

[David Borey]

Yeah, we got another good one.

[Kendall]

All right. More David, more lanksy than more. My mama told me.

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[David Borey]

You could pet this dog.

[Kendall]

What does that mean?

[David Borey]

No, I don't. Here's the thing, man. Here's the thing about me. Sometimes the charisma outpaces the brain. And then you're just on the ride.

[Kendall]

Right?

[David Borey]

You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Right, right, right.

[David Borey]

That happens to me often.

[Kendall]

I like that.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

That's a good way to live.

[David Borey]

It's the way that I've chosen.

[Kendall]

Well, the alternative, I guess, would be that the charisma. The brain far outpaces the charisma. And then you doubt every choice.

[David Borey]

Well, that's happening in real time as well. So then it's just. I take a lot of shots I'm not sure about.

[Kendall]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I think that's better.

[David Borey]

All right, cool.

[Kendall]

I just. I'm happy for you and I hope you're happy for yourself, though.

[David Borey]

Me, too, man.

[Kendall]

We got another voice, man.

[David Borey]

Let's listen to the voice. This episode's so funny, man. Tell people to listen to this one.

[Kendall]

That's a good one. Point to somebody.

[Listener]

Hi, David and Langston. My name is Kendall. So this week's mini episode is what made me think of my mom saying this. And this is so terrible because she said it after a friend's mom passed away, but we were kind of just ruminating over why. Why does it seem like the good people die early and, like, people who aren't good live a really long time? And she was like, I feel like that's God giving them time to get right with the world before they pass on. And good people, they've already been good, so they can just go ahead and go. So, yeah, that's what I have.

[David Borey]

Thank you.

[Listener]

And yeah, shout out. To being a little mama.

[David Borey]

Okay, let me tell you what I hate about this.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I'm sick of God putting the onus on us for his mistakes. You fucked him up. Now I gotta deal with his badass for extra years. Like, that's not my problem. That's your problem. God, you know what? I'm Saying.

[Kendall]

You're saying that God made them bad in the first place. So why is it somehow our responsibility to have these bad people on Earth?

[David Borey]

I'm having a hard enough time being a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dealing with all the other. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, like, why is that my responsibility? Responsibility.

[Kendall]

Yeah. I've always struggled with the question of good and bad as it relates to God. I think this weird morality that we've created for our own survival is not necessarily what God is functioning under.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I mean, if we're gonna get deep into it, I don't think it can be, because then everything becomes this, like. Cause then there's a sliding scale of what you're supposed to be, and everybody's trying to work towards that, and it seems like, I. I don't know. That's not how I've seen the world to work. Yeah.

[Kendall]

What. What are y'all expecting? That every time somebody dies, unfortunately, he's. He's upset about it. God is. God is up there like, I killed Jermaine Stewart.

[David Borey]

Also. He already knew.

[Kendall]

Yeah. He's like, nah. And also.

[David Borey]

Also, if the bad people who go against him, he knows what's gonna happen, then what was the point of making them in the first place? What was the point of all this? Like, then it's like, then he is just really fucking with us for no reason. I don't like that.

[Kendall]

Yeah. No. I think at best, we're like. We're an extra life in an unlimited game of Mario. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Also, part of me feels like. I think maybe you don't have to be, but I feel like at some point in getting older, being, like, mean and shitty kind of serves you better. Like, where it's just like, nope, fuck y'all. I'm doing what I want. I'm 95 years old.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Where you're like, oh, I love you. I'm helping you. Yeah.

[Kendall]

I think about how long did that energy. I think about how hard it would be, obviously, for people to, like, adopt these new ways of thinking that young people are demanding of older people. But then I think about, like, how much more difficult it would make their everyday lives. Do you know what I mean? Like, obviously, it's hard emotionally to reconsider your language and, like, and. And how you speak about certain communities, but it's not impossible. Right. That's manageable.

[David Borey]

Right.

[Kendall]

But then you think about, like, how literally having to think about that shit or change the way you talk changes what little community you have left, right? Like, snatches away the friends that you had, snatches away the comforts that you've lived under.

[David Borey]

Because now you're 80, you go, you play basketball at the Y or whatever, and now you're saying, they them and they don't want to.

[Kendall]

They. Now you can't play. Now they're like, hey, man, you gotta stay at home, dog.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Arnold.

[Kendall]

Look, man, you're cool. We've enjoyed you. But this ain't. This ain't it no more.

[David Borey]

Damn. Yeah. That's brutal. I never thought about it in that way.

[Kendall]

It seems like too much of a cost for an older person in some ways. And to your point, it feels like, yeah, I'll just. You say I'm a bad guy. Fine, I'm a bad guy.

[David Borey]

Because it does seem like embracing whatever it is you are, like, it does seem like one thing that older people have, I think a lot are. They're like, hey, I am who I am. Am.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like. Like, I think that's kind of. We can do. We can. I think we can kind of say that across the board through different types of people and socio. Whatever. It's like. That's kind of. Old people are like, nah, nah.

[Kendall]

You know, as much as I yearn there, there are times where I, like, find myself yearning for, like. For the feelings of youth. Right. Like, being able to go back and enjoy parties and be outside the way that I was at certain points in my life, there's no part of me that would trade it for, like, having to relearn myself.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? Like, I figured out so much shit, truly, I can't handle going back and having to, like, be dumb about who I am.

[David Borey]

Because that uncertainty is kind of. Every time I. Or most times I ever got tripped up in a bad way was me not behaving in a way that was fully not.

[Kendall]

It was just me not being honest about who I am. And now I'm in some dumb.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kendall]

100%.

[David Borey]

Now I'm in this car.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? I'm in this basement with some people. I'm still. Yo, go, boy.

[Kendall]

Let me out. Yeah.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Oh, I would have. Oh, yeah. Let me out, dope. Yeah, yeah, Trey.

[Kendall]

Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's not worth it. And so I think for older people, as unfortunate as it is, for, like, the greater good of society, for them, it's like, nah, I figured out who I am.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And I think, honestly, maybe that's the issue that we have with them is that they don't. They're not as malleable in their personality and stuff like that.

[Kendall]

100%. It's extremely frustrating, and I think it's extremely harmful to the greater good of society. And so I think let's take away their votes. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

We're not doing good right now as a people.

[Kendall]

We should be coming together to discuss how we can cut the voting age after a certain point. I think certainly 55 seems reasonable to me.

[David Borey]

That feels young.

[Kendall]

Yeah. I don't care. Cut them off. Because all my Heroes that turn 55 are duds now. So I'm good. 55. Cut it off. Anybody in between there gets a full vote. Everybody else, you got to figure it out.

[David Borey]

Damn.

[Kendall]

You just see the results.

[David Borey]

Damn. No votes for olds.

[Kendall]

I don't like the way y'all vote, so. No.

[David Borey]

All right.

[Kendall]

It don't feel like it's thinking about me and my future.

[David Borey]

It's not.

[Kendall]

And that's.

[David Borey]

It's singing about the past.

[Kendall]

That's all I need.

[David Borey]

You're thinking about Jermaine Stewart. We're thinking about Candace Owens.

[Kendall]

That's totally true. That's all it is.

[David Borey]

No, that was boys that went crazy.

[Kendall]

That was crazy.

[David Borey]

That's so nuts.

[Kendall]

That's all it is. They're being like the person with that face that I knew was a fine young man.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kendall]

I don't mind her.

[David Borey]

You mean that boy? He doesn't want to take his clothes off to have a good time. I'll vote with him. Yeah. That cherry wine enthusiast.

[Kendall]

No.

[David Borey]

Pirate Hoop ear.

[Kendall]

Come on.

[David Borey]

They still think it's Jermaine. It's Candace Owens.

[Kendall]

That's Candace Owens, baby.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Because gender politics.

[Kendall]

Fuck.

[David Borey]

I think we did it. We fuck.

[Kendall]

We did it. Yeah. All right.

[David Borey]

We really covered a lot of ground.

[Kendall]

God damn. Tell the people where they can find you.

[David Borey]

Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Patreon.com davidborry by my special Birth of a Nation. March 1, the Carco Theater in Renton, Washington. March 14, the comedy Commonwealth in. Man, I thought it was in Cincinnati. It's across the river in some town in Kentucky. Look it up. Just look up Comedy Commonwealth. David Boury. March 15, Comedy Corner Underground in Minneapolis.

[Kendall]

Okay, so Kentucky, not Cincinnati.

[David Borey]

Yeah, but it's like. It's just the rivers right there.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I'm trying to pull up to that aquarium, too. Let me know.

[Kendall]

Is there a nice aquarium out there?

[David Borey]

Yeah. On the Kentucky side.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I went there last time. I played Gold Bananas.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[David Borey]

Do you Ever go to the aquarium when you're on the road?

[Kendall]

I've been a few times.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

I like the aquarium.

[David Borey]

That's what I like about getting older on the road becomes like, actually, what interesting thing this town has? And not I'm gonna try to have sex.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean?

[Kendall]

Yeah, that is nice. I like the aquarium. Cause I never feel like I'm getting the bad version of it.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? Like, the aquarium always feels like, well, it's. I wasn't gonna see this shit anywhere else. So.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

You know what I mean? You're not gonna, like, walk into a different restaurant and they have as good of a display of fish.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Kendall]

So it's like, nah, you don't gotta have a whale shark. I'm cool.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I would like to see a whale shark.

[Kendall]

I'd love to see it. That'd be awesome if y'all got that. But if you just got, like, a little sick. Little sick clownfish.

[David Borey]

I'll check that out. Yeah, I'll check that out.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

It's Wednesday. What I got to do, I'm in Cincinnati. I'm like, eat chili on spaghetti.

[Kendall]

Yeah. You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms and you can see me February 22nd. I'll be in Vancouver for the Just for Laughs festival. And then March 27th through the 29th. I know I said 29th through the 31st previously. I was wrong. It's 27th through the 29th. Ninth. I'm going to be in. In. In Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club. I would love to see y'all there. Send us your own drop. Send us your own conspiracy theories. Give us a call if you want us to understand who else Candace Owens look like. Send it all to mymamapodmail.com call us at 844-LIL-MOMS. Buy the merch rate and subscribe rate. Subscribe love on each other. Take your clothes off. Have a good time. Bye. Bitch.

[David Borey]

Why are you gay?

[Kendall]

Who says I'm gay?

[David Borey]

You are gay.

[Kendall]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money players network.

[David Borey]

And iHeart podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kern.

[Kendall]

Co hosted by David Bourie, executive producer.

[David Borey]

Produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.

[Kendall]

Co produced by Bay Wayne.

[David Borey]

Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman.

[Kendall]

Music by Nick Chambers.

[David Borey]

Artwork by Dogon Kriega.

[Kendall]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow YMama told me and subscribe to our CH.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Kendall]

High Five Casino.

[David Borey]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Borey]

Use as directed.