Only Black People Are In the Illuminati (with Jemele Hill) - My Momma Told Me

Transcript

Langston Kerman (0:00)

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Lauren Vogelbaum (0:04)

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Langston Kerman (2:09)

I think it was somewhat recently it came out that Bea Arthur and Betty White couldn't stand each other. Yeah, I was like, yo, Golden Girls drama.

David Borey (2:18)

It was like a Martin Gina situation.

Ryan Seacrest (2:21)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Only Black People Are In the Illuminati"

Podcast Information:

Title: My Momma Told Me
Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
Description: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Borey delve into exhilarating, groundbreaking, and occasionally controversial Black conspiracy theories. Featuring guests, they explore everything from playful conspiracies to more unsettling ones, reminiscent of tales from that uncle who wore jeans to swim in the public pool.
Episode: Only Black People Are In the Illuminati (with Jemele Hill)
Release Date: July 8, 2025

Introduction to the Topic

At the outset (02:09), Langston Kerman introduces the central theme by referencing a recent revelation about the strained relationship between Bea Arthur and Betty White, setting a light-hearted tone before delving into deeper discussions.

Defining the Illuminati and Its Perceived Goals ([18:07] - [44:35])

The conversation shifts focus to the Illuminati, with Jemele Hill posing the intriguing assertion that "only Black celebrities get put into the Illuminati." This sparks a multifaceted discussion among the hosts about the nature and objectives of the Illuminati.

Clarifying the Illuminati:
- Langston Kerman (18:07): Expresses confusion about the true goals of the Illuminati, questioning if it’s solely about world domination or establishing a global currency.
- David Borey (18:15): Suggests the need for a structured agenda, pondering why only Black entertainers are associated, rather than professionals like doctors or surgeons.
Celebrity Focus:
- The hosts note that public discourse rarely mentions white celebrities in the Illuminati, questioning if there's a racial divide in these conspiracy theories.
- Langston Kerman (19:11): Points out that while names like Oprah, Jay-Z, and Beyoncé are frequently mentioned, figures like Elon Musk or the Rothschild family are common in white Illuminati narratives.
Historical Context:
- Ryan Seacrest (39:13): Provides historical insights, noting that the original Bavarian Illuminati was an Enlightenment-era secret society aiming to promote reason and individualism among elites.
- The group was disbanded in 1785 by the Duke of Bavaria but re-emerged in lore, with debates about its modern existence.

Black Illuminati vs. Traditional Illuminati ([22:24] - [44:35])

The hosts explore the concept of a "Black Illuminati," contemplating its members, goals, and differences from the traditional Illuminati.

Membership and Influence:
- Ryan Seacrest (22:34): Imagines the Black Illuminati as a co-op of wealthy Black individuals ensuring their collective prosperity.
- Langston Kerman (22:24): Suggests influential Black billionaires and business moguls like Byron Allen and Deborah Johnson as potential members.
Impact on Culture and Business:
- David Borey (23:21): Highlights the disparity in public perception, noting that while Black celebrities are often scrutinized, powerful white families like the Rothschilds are similarly subject to conspiracy theories.
- Ryan Seacrest (61:17): Argues that organizations like the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) mirror the traditional Illuminati's role in shaping policies and maintaining elite interests.

Celebrities and Influence ([45:03] - [64:25])

The discussion turns to specific celebrities and their alleged ties to the Illuminati, blending humor with conspiracy speculation.

Eddie Murphy and Sammy Davis Jr.:
- Ryan Seacrest (57:09): Jokes about Eddie Murphy being an honorary member, highlighting his influence in entertainment.
- Langston Kerman (57:44): Mentions Sammy Davis Jr. and humorous anecdotes to illustrate the perceived connections.
Historical Figures and Presidents:
- Ryan Seacrest (53:30): Playfully asserts that every U.S. president, including George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, is part of the Illuminati, blending historical facts with speculative fiction.
- Langston Kerman (55:12): References Frederick Douglass, intertwining historical oppression with the conspiracy narrative.

Modern-Day Implications and Reflections ([64:25] - [85:16])

As the episode progresses, the hosts reflect on the societal impact of conspiracy theories and engage with listener feedback.

Listener Interaction:
- A voicemail from a listener introduces a controversial theory linking Black male loneliness to interracial relationships, which the hosts deconstruct with humor and critical analysis.
- Ryan Seacrest (75:06): Critiques the harmful nature of such narratives, emphasizing the importance of addressing real societal issues without perpetuating baseless conspiracies.
Cultural Commentary:
- The hosts debate the role of media, entertainment, and societal expectations in shaping and perpetuating conspiracy theories.
- Langston Kerman (76:56): Highlights the need for diverse representation in addressing and debunking harmful myths within the Black community.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts ([86:13] - End)

In the closing segments, the hosts transition from conspiracy theories to more personal reflections and comedic interactions, maintaining the episode's engaging and humorous tone.

Reflections on the Illuminati Discussion:
- Langston Kerman (86:13): Summarizes the episode's findings, suggesting a reimagined Black Illuminati focused on economic power and community support.
- David Borey (86:20): Proposes influential figures like Byron Allen as leaders in this redefined secret society.
Episode Wrap-Up:
- The hosts conclude with humorous exchanges, reinforcing the blend of comedy and critical thought that characterizes the podcast.

Notable Quotes:

Langston Kerman (05:01): “We’re just throwing all these celebrities in there. It’s like, so what I have learned today is that if I’m thinking about the Illuminati, I’m going to eliminate the celebrities.”
Ryan Seacrest (22:34): “If you make it in, you never go broke again. You get all the protections of what this institution represents, so long as you’re willing to play the game the way we play the game.”
David Borey (33:28): “I was sitting here. No one Italian. This is crazy.”
Ryan Seacrest (39:32): “A German lawmaker who believed strongly in enlightenment ideals and specifically worked to promote the principles among the elites.”
Langston Kerman (64:25): “We need to be on the Illuminati. We have been greatly underestimating our people.”
Ryan Seacrest (75:25): “He’s not doing good.”
David Borey (85:03): “If your prayers include any of those things, they’re not going to work because I’m rejecting them all.”

Key Takeaways:

Reimagining the Illuminati: The episode explores the idea that the Illuminati, traditionally portrayed as a secretive elite group, might have a distinct "Black Illuminati" composed of influential Black figures in entertainment and business.
Cultural and Racial Dynamics: There's a notable discussion on the racial aspects of conspiracy theories, questioning why Black celebrities are predominantly associated with the Illuminati compared to their white counterparts.
Historical Context: Providing a brief history of the Bavarian Illuminati, the hosts differentiate historical facts from modern-day myths, highlighting how the original society's goals differ from contemporary conspiracy beliefs.
Celebrity Influence: The conversation humorously speculates on which Black celebrities could be part of this redefined Illuminati, blending real-life figures with fictional elements.
Societal Impact: The hosts critically examine how conspiracy theories can influence perceptions within the Black community, emphasizing the need to address genuine societal issues without resorting to unfounded claims.
Engagement with Listeners: Through processing listener voicemails, the hosts demonstrate the podcast's interactive nature, addressing and debunking harmful theories with a mix of humor and critical analysis.

Conclusion: In "Only Black People Are In the Illuminati," Langston Kerman and David Borey, joined by guest Jemele Hill, navigate the intricate and often humorous landscape of Black conspiracy theories. They dissect the notion of a Black-centered Illuminati, juxtaposing historical contexts with modern-day celebrity culture, all while maintaining an engaging and critical dialogue. This episode serves as both entertainment and a thought-provoking exploration of how societal narratives shape and are shaped by cultural myths.