Pedo Mustaches (with Steelo Brim) RE-RELEASE

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Pedo Mustaches (with Steelo Brim)" – My Momma Told Me

Episode Title: Pedo Mustaches (with Steelo Brim) RE-RELEASE
Release Date: July 24, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Boren
Guest: Steelo Brim
Network: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction

In this provocative episode of "My Momma Told Me," hosts Langston Kerman and David Boren, along with their guest Steelo Brim, delve into the controversial and unsettling conspiracy theory linking mustaches to pedophilia. The discussion navigates through historical contexts, societal stereotypes, and the impact of pop culture on these perceptions.

Unpacking the Pedo Mustaches Theory

The episode kicks off with the hosts introducing the core conspiracy theory: the association of mustaches, particularly on white men, with pedophilia. Langston Kerman remarks at [09:48]:

Langston Kerman: "Trust a black man without a mustache or a white man with one. They're both pedophiles."

This bold statement sets the stage for a deep dive into the origins and evidence supporting this theory.

Historical Context and Research

Steelo Brim brings forth detailed research, surprising the hosts with the depth of information behind the theory. At [10:36], Steelo explains:

Steelo Brim: "August of 2003 is sort of like its first appearance in sort of like the public lexicon, right? The Internet itself again."

The conversation reveals that the correlation between mustaches and pedophilia isn't as ancient as initially presumed but gained traction in the early 2000s, partly fueled by articles on platforms like Urban Dictionary. Langston cites an early definition from Urban Dictionary:

Langston Kerman: "A person who is genetically predispositioned to have upper lip hair, usually accompanied by aviator sunglasses, police issue gloves, and a pedophilia-like stare down."

Influence of Pop Culture and Public Figures

The hosts discuss how public figures have inadvertently or otherwise influenced the spread of this stereotype. David Boren brings up Adam Morrison, a prominent basketball player, whose mustache became a focal point for mockery and suspicion:

Langston Kerman: "Adam Morrison... crowds were chanting Amber Alert at him while he was playing in games."

This incident reportedly boosted Google searches related to the "Pedo Mustache" theory, embedding the stereotype deeper into public consciousness.

Sociocultural Implications

The conversation shifts to the societal implications of this stereotype, especially concerning black men and their facial hair. Langston posits that many black men grow mustaches to assert their masculinity and resist societal pressures:

Langston Kerman: "Black men largely grow mustaches as a way to affirm their masculinity. That in society where we are so often living around people attempting to steal control of black men's position as men in a world, this is like an effort to create control for ourselves."

This assertion highlights the intersection of race, gender, and societal expectations, emphasizing how personal grooming choices are laden with deeper cultural significance.

Counterarguments and Criticisms

Despite the depth of the theory, the hosts acknowledge counterarguments that suggest the mustache-pedophilia link may be more of a cultural trend rather than a legitimate indicator of criminal behavior. Langston references historical figures like Edmund Kemper and Ted Bundy, who also sported mustaches, to question the validity of the stereotype.

Langston Kerman: "If you wear trench coats to shoot a school, you wear an Adidas tracksuit. So you can really surprise people with whatever your bullshit is."

This metaphor underscores the unpredictability of appearances and challenges the reliability of visual stereotypes in identifying criminal intent.

Guest Insights: Steelo Brim

Steelo Brim contributes by elaborating on the research and personal observations that led him to propagate the "Pedo Mustaches" theory. His insights aim to provide a framework for understanding how such stereotypes take root and influence societal perceptions.

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode concludes with the hosts reflecting on the implications of the stereotype, the responsibility of individuals to look beyond appearances, and the dangers of such unfounded associations. They emphasize the importance of critical thinking and caution against letting superficial traits dictate judgments about one's character.

Langston Kerman: "If you don't have facial hair as a black man or if you do have a thick mustache as a white man, certainly you are doing something that we all need to be slightly wary of."

Notable Quotes

• [09:48] Langston Kerman: "Trust a black man without a mustache or a white man with one. They're both pedophiles."
• [10:36] Steelo Brim: "August of 2003 is sort of like its first appearance in sort of like the public lexicon, right? The Internet itself again."
• [27:30] Langston Kerman: "They are used more as a sort of like, weapon against men. That this is sort of like a way of asserting your dominance, much like a buck growing its horns real big."

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Final Thoughts

"Pedo Mustaches" serves as a stark reminder of how stereotypes can perpetuate harmful misconceptions within communities. While the conspiracy theory lacks substantial empirical evidence, the episode effectively highlights the need for awareness and the dismantling of unfounded biases. Listeners are encouraged to engage critically with such narratives and promote a more nuanced understanding of individual identities beyond superficial traits.

Transcript

[David Boren]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Steelo Brim]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Steelo Brim]

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[Steelo Brim]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Here's what I love about Marcus Houston. He's been able to take a significant fashion l in every single era.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow, that's true.

[David Boren]

What you about to bring up?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm about to bring up the clear suit.

[David Boren]

I know what you about to bring up.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Obviously.

[David Boren]

Legendary.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Legendary. Wait a minute.

[David Boren]

That was pre Covid.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm pretty sure I was before the towers fell. I think. I think we still had the towers.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he was still dating Beyonce when he did that.

[David Boren]

He was like, people never forget.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, I think he was in a clear suit, smashing Beyonce. So, you know, I can't believe she let that fly.

[David Boren]

I like to think that Marcus used to never actually smash Beyonce and they just dated. It makes me feel better.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I also would like to think that.

[David Boren]

She is a queen, and I would like to know that she did not do that.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Get your clear hands off of me.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, I play chess. Sometimes queens make bad moves. You know what I mean? You gotta move back, Rethink yourself, baby girl. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

The ozone lair owes me money. Martians have been in turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing. Give me that donkey butt and them big old legs. Welcome back to another episode of My.

[Langston Kerman]

Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we work to.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Prove that the T and T Pain does not, in fact, stand for Tallahassee. It stands for Troutman, as in his real father, Roger Troutman of Zappin Roger, a pioneer of the vocoder, AKA the fucking voice thing that T Pain does. He is, in fact, a Nepo baby. It was not on him. It was in him the whole time. Y' all wake up. I am David Boren.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm Langston Kerman. And I'm stunned at this revelation. You're saying that he had a silver auto tuner in his mouth when he was born?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He was born with it in his mouth. You thought he invented that shit. Come on, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

You saying he cried? Beautiful. Just.

[David Boren]

That was.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That was. He grew up to the sounds of so rough, so tough in the city of good old Watts.

[Langston Kerman]

If it's true. Devastating. Truly. We've all been rooting for T Pain. I think in part because of. We thought he got it up. You know what I mean? He was doing it from the ground up.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He did that by himself. Like, he got it out the mud. I was like rapper turned singer. Like, I get it.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man. But nah, T Pain's out here. Just, just.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You didn't even hear the whole. You didn't even hear the whole conspiracy theory. Roger Troutman was killed by Larry Troutman, who was also percussions in the Zap band. I think it was a beef over T. Pain's mom and the illegitimate son. Whoa, back up. I'm too hot right now. I'm too hot right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Drop.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm too hot right now. I'm too hot right now.

[David Boren]

Drop.

[Langston Kerman]

Drop.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Motherfucking bars, nigga. You know nothing about that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's. This is heavy, dog. I don't even.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I think we're trying to truly unpack it.

[Langston Kerman]

We would have to do a different day.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

It's a different day. Hey, you might notice that the audio fucked up.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, we're not a perfect show. There are hijinks every week with this program. Mostly I would say on David and I's part, I would say that. That if there is an issue with the show, it's usually David or I's fault or my fault. And we're not proud of that. But we're not gonna. We're not.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

We're not gonna hide from it. We are not men who pretend like we are not flawed.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

If you cut us, do we not bleed?

[Langston Kerman]

We bleed and we bleed a lot.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

If you play Cha Cha. Do we not slide.

[Langston Kerman]

One hop this time?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You know, not Charlie Brown.

[Langston Kerman]

But unfortunately, due to some technical difficulties, this episode has sort of. We've had some hijinks. We lost the first little segment of the show. And we assure you, dear listener, that it was hilarious. There were funny shit inside of this motherfucker, you know.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, you would have loved it. Remember the first time you saw that Patti LaBelle rolling on the Floor video? That's what you would have had you heard the first step. But it's gone now.

[Langston Kerman]

It's gone. There's nothing we can do about it. It's lost in the ether, lost in the sands of time. But here's the good news. Our guest is. Is a phenomenal talent, a hilarious person, a man who. Who you know best from. From his podcast, Wine and Weed. But you probably know him best from. From being one of the co hosts of the long running show, maybe the longest running show in the history.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

It's like that in General Hospital, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think I dare to say there's nothing longer. It's that show, General Hospital, the Simpsons and C Span. I think Those four are the sort of Mount Rushmore of long running shows. But he's one of the co hosts of ridiculousness. He's a hilarious man, a dear friend. And we're going to jump straight to the research section of this episode. So don't be thrown off by the sort of weird cutting and pasting if you. If it were.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Because you know what? That's just show business. And honestly, you're lucky to have us. So what are you going to do?

[Langston Kerman]

What the fuck? We could be anywhere right now, bro.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You don't think I could have been working for fucking all state selling term life right now? I could have been a term life God. I could have had equity. I'm here talking to you losers because of art.

[Langston Kerman]

I would be putting a tire in some water and telling you where the hole is right now.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Come on. You don't think my man would have been a. A big old savant. Quit playing with me.

[Langston Kerman]

But our guest, he's hilarious. Give it up for Steelo Brim, everybody. Steelo, amazing. You came to us, Stilo, with a conspiracy that, that I would argue also is going to be up for some debate as to whether or not it fall into reality. Not by me. Hey, I'm not pushing back, baby. I'm good, I'm good. We all good over here. I'm not pushing back, but I dare say you are going to upset certain gentlemen in our communities. You said, my mama told me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Never.

[Langston Kerman]

Trust a black man without a mustache or a white man with one. They're both pedophiles. Steelo, I did a bunch of research on your conspiracy that I would love to unpack with you. Now. I think. I think you're. It's. It's some pretty promising research. It was far more information than I expected to be able to find. I thought this was just be like speculation, but now there seems to be some real research behind this. So what's especially interesting is that apparently the associations of mustaches and pedophiles is much more contemporary than we actually realize. I thought this was like something that dated back millennia and shit.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I thought it was like the 40s, 50s.

[Langston Kerman]

See, even that seems like a thing. But apparently August of 2003.

[David Boren]

I started the rumor. If it's 03 for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

And you know what's funny? The article said Steelo Brim was walking around his high school calling niggas pedophiles when they had no facial hair.

[David Boren]

Got you, Spade. You know, those people did turn out to be pedophiles.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's fair. And that's. And that's where that's. See? Research.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you got to do your research.

[David Boren]

I just spoke it into them, and now I feel guilty right now.

[Langston Kerman]

He's like, oh, no, no, I gotta explore this.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Don't put that on yourself. Don't put that.

[David Boren]

You're right. You're right.

[Langston Kerman]

You're right.

[David Boren]

You're absolutely correct.

[Langston Kerman]

Why is Thilo saying this every day? Maybe I gotta unpack this. I will say that. So August of 2003 is sort of like its first appearance in sort of like the public lexicon, Right? The Internet itself again. They. They said. They said it first appears apparently Urban Urban Dictionary. I'm a Bing man. Sweet being. They said the definition on Urban Dictionary for stash. This was their first definition of. It was a person who is genetically predispositioned to have upper lip hair, usually accompanied by av aviator sunglasses, police issue gloves, and a pedophilia like, stare down.

[David Boren]

Yeah, that's him. That's him. I just saw him dead in my head when you were talking. I was like, that's the guy. Rushed that man.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the guy. I don't need to see no other pictures. I know.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I have a few questions even as far as this research goes. Hey, when was urban dictionary.com invented?

[David Boren]

Oh, my boy did that. My boy did that in science class, I think that's what I'm saying.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

So it was like. If it was. Because if this was when the site was new, there had to be a term of it catching up to previous pop culture ideas, meaning where they were filling in the blank. So it had been prevalent for years. That's just when they put it on that.

[Langston Kerman]

This is some shit that came out in 86. But we didn't get hip to it.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Till 2000 because the website came up in late 02. They were still just backfilling. All right, what urban slang do we need to put on there?

[David Boren]

99 urban dictionaries. 99. Whoa. Right before doing a little research myself. Guys.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Did you just say the Willennium?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's how I measure time. Is pre Willennium.

[David Boren]

Post millennium.

[Langston Kerman]

Myself, I'm 23 years old. Past the millennium. You know what?

[David Boren]

You really have that album. You had that album?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I had that. Of course I had that album.

[David Boren]

I was a battle with friends. And that was his favorite album.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man. That was really.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You liked that album better than Big Willie style. It wasn't just talking. If we're talking canon.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, it wasn't about better or worse. It was about inspiration. And that nigga was inspiring me in 99. There was nobody else that could inspire me more than Will Smith.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

In 99.

[David Boren]

A great year.

[Langston Kerman]

He was killing it in 99, man.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Was that when Miami came out or was that before?

[Langston Kerman]

That's post Miami. Miami is, I think, in the.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

What was on Millennium?

[David Boren]

Yeah, what song, William? You don't even know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, give me a second. He had that song, and I think it was with Cisco. I want to say he had. It was. No, it was with kc and he had that song with KC.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Another year.

[David Boren]

Well, Wild Wild west was the first sing released for Millennium.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, that song was bad.

[David Boren]

Then he had will 2k, which is crazy. Which is a crazy. And then he had Freaking it come out.

[Langston Kerman]

Freaking it.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

What was on that one?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't. I don't even remember Freaking it. But come on.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

My boy was.

[Langston Kerman]

My boy was being sexy for the last time. Come on.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No, he was. He was sexy on Big Willie Style. I don't know why I'm going so hard for Big Willie Style.

[David Boren]

That was a great record. What you mean?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

It was clearly written by Nas.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, well, certain. Certain songs, for sure. There were a few.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

We could snicker all night on my jolly ranch. Will Smith didn't write that.

[Langston Kerman]

No, he didn't write that down. He. He liked it, though.

[David Boren]

I don't play Will.

[Langston Kerman]

He got that.

[David Boren]

Might take him a little longer, but he got that.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He got it. He got. He just had to sit in there with. Chewing on a cigar. Listen to the beat.

[Steelo Brim]

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[Langston Kerman]

So I will say it sounds like you boys are not in tune with the the possibility of this 2003 start date. But I will say that additionally what they claim is that in 2006, Adam Morrison. Y' all remember Adam Morrison, of course. That big motherfucker from Gonzaga with the mustache apparently is the thing that pushed it over the top.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I thought you were talking about Return of the Max.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's Mark Morrison.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, I do remember this dude.

[David Boren]

Yeah, he looked like Lurch. Yeah, he was high all the time.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He played for the Bobcats too, right? Yeah, yeah, he had a weird looking dude.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he was a super early pick in the NBA and a super regrettable choice for.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He was number three.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he went number three and then did not do anything for anybody for a long time.

[David Boren]

He would thrive in the NBA today. It's just at that time, you know, he wasn't. Wasn't made for him.

[Langston Kerman]

He was in an era where Biggs needed to be bigs and he ain't know how to do that. You know what I mean?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, yeah, you had to be a. You had to be kind of an animal.

[Langston Kerman]

But Adam Morrison apparently was getting made fun of so often. Despite being the leading scorer in the NBA in the NCAA that year, he was being made fun of specifically for his mustache so often that literally crowds were chanting Amber Alert at him while he was playing in games. And that subsequently increased the Google searches that ultimately became the popularity of the Pedo Stash.

[David Boren]

I remember being at that game, a young guy Amber alert. We were getting that chance started.

[Langston Kerman]

Now the question is, any regrets because you were yelling at a boy. He was a child.

[David Boren]

I think Adam Morrison was like 20 when he graduated.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure. He wasn't one and done.

[David Boren]

He went for all four years, didn't he?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he wasn't a one and done guy. I know that for sure.

[David Boren]

No, I waited until he became 19. Those kind of things. I was never as a child with catcalling.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's really all you can do.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Ask Marcus Houston.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, you just gotta wait till. Wait till they're 19 and then it's hey by me.

[Langston Kerman]

Speaking of wild hair choices, can We. Can we just take a moment for recent Marcus Houston hairstyles?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Ooh, those braids. Those fake. Fake braids.

[David Boren]

He had fake braids, bro.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

The tubi braids.

[Langston Kerman]

He was. He was in a to be program where he had arguably something far worse than Shemar Moore.

[David Boren]

Oh, not possible. Not possible.

[Langston Kerman]

Tyler, bro, you gotta take a look and just. Just take a gander. Look at it now and make a choice.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

It's really bad.

[David Boren]

He looked nothing like Roger.

[Langston Kerman]

That's not the Roger I know.

[David Boren]

I think he got the braids deleted off the Internet. I cannot find them.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You can't find the tube? Oh, they're bad. I can't find. Smart man.

[Langston Kerman]

It was a very exciting day on Twitter a few days ago. And granted, I don't have a Twitter anymore, but I do have burner accounts and accounts. What the f. Yeah, you gotta explore out here. But the point is. Oh, this goes on. Right? So the 2007, the pedo stash apparently gets this giant influx on Google. It's suddenly, like, become this Google hot search all the way up to 51 out of 100 in its scale. And then in 2010, it becomes crazy popular again because Justin Bieber grows his first mustache, and everybody starts calling him a pedophile.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

So it really seems like just famous people growing mustaches. And we like, that nigga's a pedophile. That was a pedophile about right there.

[David Boren]

I mean, famous people with mustache. Is that it?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I think there just wasn't a term for it. I think it was a thing. We all knew. It's like Bomo. Bomo's been around for everybody. We just didn't put a word on it to.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You found it.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Walk us through all of your feelings.

[David Boren]

Well, first of all, he didn't need design. They could have catch with straight backs. Oh, they're so thick and so high. Yeah, it's like a box. A box. It's weird.

[Langston Kerman]

They sit up tall. Baby, those ain't. Those ain't resting.

[David Boren]

Also, his beard is fake as well. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

I think everything is fake in that picture.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Doesn't look good.

[David Boren]

No, that was the budget. All this. Oh, it stands right on the front screen. Story by Chris Stokes. That's all I need to hear. That's all you read?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's a bad combination.

[David Boren]

Oh, my God. Marcus in the news a lot lately.

[Langston Kerman]

Marcus Houston's been acting up a lot lately.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He just is notorious for making poor decisions.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Like, physically.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He keeps doing it to himself, and in that way, I respect It. It's like he was.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Obviously being who you are.

[Langston Kerman]

And I repeat, who you are, Marcus Houston. And he did. I. I will say, the immature IMX era, my man.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, you can't IMX as well.

[David Boren]

Magic. I mean, they both had hits.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's the IMX hit. Was it Stay Tonight?

[David Boren]

Was that my first time?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, my first time.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That was the IMX hit.

[David Boren]

That was their biggest hit.

[Langston Kerman]

They climbing out the window. Yeah.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

REM did that one Stay the Night, though. Was that not a hit?

[David Boren]

Just know he gave advice on. He gave Me Bison, that song. He said, if you're gonna do it, just make sure you strap twice. Which is the craziest.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I mean, he's already used to wearing double plastic.

[Langston Kerman]

He's like. He's like, listen, as a man who wears too much plastic, you want it to be thick. You need that thick coating of plastic. Please, double strap.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

Trust me.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

So.

[Langston Kerman]

So apparently in this article that I read, did a lot of research on this. Apparently if you look at the mug shots of contemporary pedophiles. Right. I. The contemporary list, I don't either. It's not my taste, but I do report it. But the contemporary collection of mug shots does not, in fact, reflect a bunch of people with the same mustache. That is not necessarily a trend.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah. Because they're probably hip to it now.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Yeah, I like that. It's like the whole school should have been in the room type thing.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You got to throw them off the set.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

Nobody's.

[Langston Kerman]

Nobody's wearing trench coats to shoot a school anymore.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No, that's what I'm saying. That's why the white guys mustaches now are so cheeky about it. Because they know it's jumped a shark already.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. If you wear.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

They know it's back to being safe.

[Langston Kerman]

If you go and shoot up a school, you wear an Adidas tracksuit. So you can really surprise people with whatever your bullshit is, you know, Gotta.

[David Boren]

Get that motion going where you gotta move. Yeah, yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

America, I love this country.

[Langston Kerman]

But one of the things that was especially interesting, right, because they're saying there's no direct correlation for now, but. However, there was this dude, Tom O', Carroll, who wrote a book in 1980, a book called. And I'm not bullshitting this, a book called Pedophilia, the Radical Case, in which he apparently dedicates a lot of his. His literature to making a case for adults and children being able to have relationships.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

All right, this is.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the core of the book is him Being like, yeah, no, it's, I.

[David Boren]

Want to know how many units he sold. I want to know every unit that went out to every person.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm sure the government has a list of exactly what units and what addresses they were sold to.

[David Boren]

I hope he is just an agent. I hope he's just a federal agent who made a fake book and he.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Was like, this will get out.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Whoever buys it will know.

[Langston Kerman]

I, I hate to break it to you boys, but, but actually he was eventually arrested for, you guessed it, pedophilia. And when he was arrested, his mug shot became sort of like the most quintessential pedophilia mustache man picture in history that like he, he could not look more like what we associate with the pedophile. This is 1980, big old thick mustache, long hair, dead eyed stare. Like it's, it's all the shit that you would say is a pedophile. And then when you combine this with people like Jeffrey Dahmer, like Edmund Kemper, like Ted Bundy, like John Wayne Gacy, who all also had thick mustaches, it starts to feel in fact like a trend.

[David Boren]

I've never felt more sure of myself.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's good. That's good. I like that for you.

[David Boren]

You feel great. Oh, great.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what we do on this podcast.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

We're really trying to here to uplift fellow black men.

[David Boren]

That's what I shared the wall and I got here and realized I was really.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No, no, you thought, you thought you were a joke. You came over here. You're Jackson Pollock.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man. Well, one of the things, one of the things that, that they then use as a counter argument inside of this article is that they say that all of those men that I just listed rose to their creepy prominence between 1973 and 1991 when mustaches were most in style. And so subsequently they would say that this is more of a cultural trend rather than a pedophilic trend.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Boo.

[David Boren]

Oh, I like the last part. I thought we were onto something.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm just presenting information. I, I listen, I haven't, I haven't put staked in, you know, in the first.

[David Boren]

I love the, if nothing else, the research has been mostly about white men.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Boren]

Having covered it all are black men without mustaches. And that's fair. I get it.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I think there's not as much research as white men.

[David Boren]

100% I agree with you. Is it, is it up to us to do the research? I'd rather not be a part of the community, you know, black people. And if you spot any out there? I'm not asking you to deliberately go out there and look for something. I'm saying if you're on the streets and you're walking around and you see somebody without a mustache, call the police.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Just make it simple.

[Langston Kerman]

And we gotta get. I think we gotta push past this fear of snitching in relation to certain things. Look, if it's something. If you're participating in crime and then a crime happens, and then you tell on a motherfucker that's snitching.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's.

[Langston Kerman]

That's snitching. And you gotta unpack why you did that and how that affects you.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

However, also, if we were in it together and you snitched.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's probably snitching.

[David Boren]

If you cut my mustache and you. And you didn't tell me on the way out, hey, man, that's a bad look.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

If you cut my mustache, do I not bleed?

[Langston Kerman]

But I will say that this issue, right, of whether or not this would be snitching to tell on a motherfucker on the street because they look creepy. Feels like we need to expand beyond that. We need to say no. That is objectively dangerous for our youth, for our most vulnerable. We gotta tell somebody.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm not.

[David Boren]

That's Jerry's final thought.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, what's fascinating. And we need to take one rip, too, right?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Rip. Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Jerry.

[David Boren]

He came on Ridiculous as one of my favorite guests of all time.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

Really?

[David Boren]

Yeah, man.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I thought he was. He's one of those ones. I never thought he was going, no. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't imagine Jerry Springer can die as much as just fade into quiet?

[David Boren]

You know, we had Larry King as well. Two white men who I never thought would go. Larry King even talked on the show. He was gonna freeze himself. And I respected that. I believe he didn't get to it, obviously.

[Langston Kerman]

Did Larry King, like, wear suspenders and shit? Like, was he full. Larry King.

[David Boren]

Came on there being misogynistic old white stuff that you were like, oh, I don't make it like this anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

When somebody. Somebody bad shares their true beliefs and you're like, oh, oh, okay.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, exactly who I thought you were.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. You've had a lot of beautiful guests. I will say we're going to take one more break, but when we come back, I do, in fact have a little bit of research on the. The alternative side of this on the black men with no facial hair that I want to hear from y'.

[David Boren]

All.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Let's bring that up.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, so we're we'll be back with more stilo brim and more My mama told.

[Steelo Brim]

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[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Why are you gay? Welcome back to my mom and told me we are here with Steel o Brim. I don't have my pad but I still have my mouth. Man of a thousand voices David Boury thanks to Kermit Stilo Brim we are discussing the mustache, the mustachioed white man and the non facial haired black man. In terms of pedophilia.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Or general creepiness.

[David Boren]

Overall creepiness. Yeah, I feel like it's overall creepiness.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, I feel like it's overall creepiness.

[David Boren]

I think they're responsible for murders as well. It's not just right.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, that's. I think that's. That's where we should have started. Is that it's like also apologize. You're a weirdo.

[David Boren]

Yeah, I take full responsibility.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No, that's fine. That's fine. That's fine.

[Langston Kerman]

And maybe that's where we need to sort of embrace our non facial haired brothers. Is like For a while, they've been called pedophiles. And we don't think you're a pedophile necessarily. We just think there's something wrong with you.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

It just makes me sad that your face doesn't work as good as mine.

[David Boren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's all it is.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't like looking at you, but that doesn't mean you like looking at kids, I think, yeah, we've all had ugly friends.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

But do you?

[Langston Kerman]

But do you? And that's the real question. Yeah, yeah, there we are. So in relation specifically to the black men, one of the things that. That I read about, or like an argument, an article argued, is that black men largely grow mustaches as a way to affirm their masculinity. That in society where we are so often living around people attempting to steal control black men's position as men in a world, this is like an effort to create control for ourselves by growing facial hair and proving our masculinity.

[David Boren]

Yeah, you know what it is? Because the black.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I just got a bad chin.

[David Boren]

That could be it, too. That's a strong thing.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Real talk, man. It's just like, it's better this way.

[David Boren]

Because the black men who don't have facial hair also either work in finance or politics, and you don't trust either one of them niggas either way.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That's a good point. Politicians never have facial hair, and it.

[Langston Kerman]

Means they're playing white guy rules when you play in those spaces, which means that they are willing to cut their facial hair largely because they're like, I need to fit into the rules of some shit that never belonged to me in the first place.

[David Boren]

Man. Let's go there, brother.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go there.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Has Obama ever. Has Obama also. Shout out to Mayor. Hey, you know what, though? You know what, though? Shout out to Mayor Webb in Denver. He's black. He always kept a mustache on him.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. Hell, yeah.

[David Boren]

I'm going to Denver tomorrow.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, shit. I'm out here.

[David Boren]

Oh, okay. I was just there two weeks ago. Three weeks ago.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, it's the best. But yeah. So shout out to Mayor Webb. Holding it down in Denver. Also, though, has Obama. Do we have any pictures of Obama.

[David Boren]

With a beard right now? I think he's had a mustache before, right?

[Langston Kerman]

He had a mustache when he was like, when he was super young. Them cigarette pictures and shit. He'd be having, like a cool mustache. And then I think maybe right after presidency, he might have grown a little bit of facial hair, but it's never been anything Substantial.

[David Boren]

I can't combine him.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No, me either. I saw Photoshop.

[Langston Kerman]

But you know who kept a beard? Kwame Kilpatrick. That man kept a beard.

[David Boren]

That man. He couldn't keep a job, though. That man was wild.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

What about Colin Powell?

[Langston Kerman]

You know Colin Powell didn't grow no facial hair. I don't even know. I think Colin Powell had them burned off. You know what I mean?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

The, the. Whatever grows there, it's like a criminal with fingerprints. He was like, I want no traces.

[Langston Kerman]

The man, the man named himself after misspelled Colonel, you know what I mean? Like, he's, he's committed to this shit.

[David Boren]

I really can't find Barack with a mustache, but I trust Barack. Somehow I do trust Barack.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he's made it to the exceptional.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

List as much as I trust the President.

[David Boren]

Exactly, Exactly.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

So let's, let's start with that. Like, it's not like, damn, that's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

One of the things that they also point out is that in the early 1900s, many black men wore mustaches as a sign of defiance against white supremacy. That much in the way that we're talking about where white people are telling you clean shaven is the way to be. That's professional. That's the way a man's supposed to look. Black people start growing their facial hair to be like, fuck you niggas do how we want to do over here. And they said that same kind of resurgence happened in the 1970s because of the black power movement, that like a bunch of, you know, like the, like the Black Panthers and shit would grow their facial hair again to, to assert their dominance and defiance against. Against the powers that be.

[David Boren]

Because a nigga without facial hair is definitely giving up secrets.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

To be fair, as many secrets as he has, I don't even think he has that many.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

To be fair. Did Huey. Huey have facial hair?

[David Boren]

Ah, you shut the up with that.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm just gonna. I just wanna keep conspiracy.

[Langston Kerman]

I just wan.

[David Boren]

Again. A strong black man I don't think could grow facially. That's right.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I think what it is.

[David Boren]

If I can see you deliberately trying and veins popping out, but you're trying to make hair pop out and it never comes, brother. I'm okay with that.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

And you know what? Eldridge Cleaver had enough for the both of them. Yeah, Damn, that counts, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think so.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Because Cleaver had a strong. Like one of those thick, thick goatees.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he was. That was a real plus one goatee for you know what I mean? He added some, some Folks, to that one.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, he was tall as hell, too.

[David Boren]

He rocked the shadow here and there. Yeah, Huey had the shadow a couple times, but.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, okay, I'll give it to him.

[David Boren]

But the shadow scares me because it says now that he did cut his facial hair, but that was. What year was this? Oh, it was before 03, obviously. You know, when I started.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

All bets are all. Yeah, would. This ain't even canon. This is like a long story.

[Langston Kerman]

This is before Jesus. We don't know what that was.

[David Boren]

This is.

[Langston Kerman]

This is all Old Testament.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah. This is pre millennium.

[Langston Kerman]

So the last thing that I'll point out is that they also point out that mustaches apparently are not often associated with attracting women that, like, their research shows that women are very rarely actually.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Speak for yourself, baby.

[David Boren]

They're not interviewing black women.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think so. I'm just telling you what the thing said. But they basically said they don't find that that's something. Women are more neutral on the mustache. They are, however, used more as a sort of like, weapon against men. That this is sort of like a way of asserting your dominance, much like a buck growing its horns real big.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

We literally been doing that for the last hour, and I stand on that. You. No mustache pussies.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's just men trying to big dog each other with beards and mustaches and shit.

[David Boren]

I agree. Yeah, but beards are different. You know, I'm just saying. I'm just.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, beards.

[David Boren]

Beards are a whole community I respect, you know, of all races.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boren]

All kinds, all colors. Beards. I respect all kinds.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I don't like it when it gets too crazy. Like, I don't need you to be a beard guy.

[David Boren]

I. I don't know how many Asian men I've met with beards that I've been.

[Langston Kerman]

They don't grow good beards.

[David Boren]

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna go so far as to say that that's not offensive because I've heard. I. I know enough Asians.

[David Boren]

I didn't even know.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Did you hear one of your barbershops? No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

I. I don't know. I don't know. I'm. I'm a hate filled man. But I. I'm not saying this out of. Out of hate. I. I truly think their. Their hair tends to be wispier, and it just doesn't beard up like a full beard as well as. As they would like, often.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

And they're taking our jobs.

[David Boren]

Okay. All right.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I'm with you, Langston. I like. I like them I just don't want one dating my sister.

[David Boren]

Now, I will throw in something random, kind of a, you know, 88.

[Langston Kerman]

No, please go crazy.

[David Boren]

How do you feel about Asian men getting dreadlocks or locs? Have you seen this sensation and the process that it takes to accomplish? How do you feel?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Or even.

[David Boren]

Not even just that. Also, just the sponge work. Have you seen them get the box with the sponge work?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I have seen that. They're doing crazy things in Tokyo.

[David Boren]

Where do we land?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I feel better about it than I feel about white guys doing it. And that's about as good of anything as I have to say about it.

[David Boren]

I don't even know if I've seen white guys do it. White guys are doing this, too, with dreads.

[Langston Kerman]

The dreads.

[David Boren]

Yeah, but that's. Hey, I don't trust that either. I've said that I'm ridiculous as before. I've already stood on that. I don't know why guys with dreads. It's not my thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Have y' all seen the video?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

There's nobody's thing. There's nobody. It's not even their thing. Truly. They always regret it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they never stay that way forever.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

They.

[Langston Kerman]

They know it's always a phase.

[David Boren]

The ones in Venice are. They're locked and loaded. Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Until their dad calls them back to work at the law firm. Yeah, like, they're just. They're on. They're on rich white guy, rum sprigger.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they. They back out eventually. I will say that. That. I don't know if y' all remember this, if y' all ever seen the video of them white little white boys doing wave checks where they'll, like, have on, like, do rags, like, and be like, wave check.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Wave check.

[Langston Kerman]

And then, like, pull their shit off, and they'll have, like, crazy white boy waves for three minutes until somebody can do this. And then suddenly it all goes away. But, like, they're white. White kids are now taking over that space, and it makes me terribly uncomfortable.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, I already ruined sneakers. What else are you gonna take from us?

[David Boren]

I love a good white wave check. It is the funniest thing.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, what is this?

[David Boren]

Caught off guard. It's always the white guys. You're like, yo, this kid's adorable. One day you'll wake up for right now, this is great.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, this is a crazy look.

[David Boren]

It'll be. It'll be. It'll be the. The. The Gen Z's version of blackface once we go.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, this was doing wave check videos in 2016.

[David Boren]

Gotta go.

[Langston Kerman]

Fire.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Do they. Are they using. Are they using dac?

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Boren]

Murray's.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Murray's.

[David Boren]

No, I'm joking.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they're using, like, gorilla glue. I don't know that white people's hair just does that with some Murrays.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, this is terrible.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's pretty wild.

[David Boren]

They got the Bow wow wave durag.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, they got the bow wow. They invest.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

That is the best durag in the world, though. That's it.

[David Boren]

Really is. We can all.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Who would have thought where that career was going to take him?

[David Boren]

Do you think Bow wow owns a big percentage of this, or do you think it's just like, let's use shot Moss?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I think not as much as we want him to.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, really?

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I would love it to be proprietary and that he invented it.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, I know. Let's be honest. We know he didn't invent it. We know this nigga didn't sit down and concoct anything. You know what I mean? He's not the Virgil of do rags. He is very much a man just making choices. But I do think I have hope that. That he owns a bigger percentage than we think. I want to believe this is going to keep him.

[David Boren]

I think he's a majority owner. You want to.

[Langston Kerman]

I do. I think so. Yeah.

[David Boren]

A majority owner.

[Langston Kerman]

I think he's like 51% of that.

[David Boren]

I would say 25%, but I would say they're still moving units.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I was saying 15, but yeah, they're moving units.

[David Boren]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[David Boren]

He said 51, man. That's a lot of.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Listen, that would have had to have been his idea, or he was on the ground floor.

[Langston Kerman]

I want to thank.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I feel like they were making do rags.

[David Boren]

He would have had the source himself.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Ye. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He would have had to go to. I don't know where they make velvet. I was just gonna out myself.

[Langston Kerman]

But here's the thing. Here's the thing. And hear me out. Nobody up to this point had ever thought to brand durags. Even Nelly when he was doing them two tone durags, and that was like their signature shit. He never came out with a durag company. Bow Wow's the first motherfucker to be like, I'll put my name on it. If I'm a durag designer. Yeah, they're Bow Wow do rags. You can have 51% of what is ultimately going to be a billion dollar.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You're not going to give them 51. That's a lot length.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Now Bow Wow has all the control and power.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah. And then you see what happens when he runs the ship?

[David Boren]

Collaboration with B2K. We don't want it.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah. You want the limited edition.

[Langston Kerman]

I want to imagine.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You want the raspy Durang.

[Langston Kerman]

I want to imagine Bow Wow as the Logan Roy of durags, where he's just sitting at the end of a table.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You mean an embarrassment. You mean not a serious person.

[David Boren]

I've been watching you hate Logan Roy.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I don't. I don't. Oh, no. I hate Kendall Logan.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Logan's the one saying.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Yeah, I take it back. I take it back. I take it back.

[Langston Kerman]

I love that. You're like, logan's a good guy.

[David Boren]

I think he was a good guy.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

He's a beast is what I'm saying, man.

[Langston Kerman]

But point being, I. I think ultimately, if we're. If we're really going to land this plane, because at some point, we have to, it sounds like there is some possibility that there's truth to this and it's not just a cultural sort of timestamp that. That if you don't have facial hair as a black man or if you do have a thick mustache as a white man, certainly you are doing something that we all need to be slightly wary of. And what that something is is yet to be decided.

[David Boren]

Throwing these last two words. They're more than two. Abraham Lincoln had no mustache and a beard.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[David Boren]

He was half white, half black. People know that, and that's why he had that. So that's just a full circle.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

I am on those. I am on those Reddit forums. Yes, I do know that.

[David Boren]

Yeah. He's Ethiopian.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Right?

[David Boren]

And then you look at him and you're like, I cannot see it. He's Ethiopian.

[Langston Kerman]

He's very tall, and he got them eyes. Yeah.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

All right.

[David Boren]

Thank you guys, though, for letting me even do this.

[Langston Kerman]

This was a great time. Could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

[David Boren]

We're still just moving that train along, doing ridiculousness. 2000 more episodes we just signed on for, which doesn't sound real, but it's real.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Oh, that's the real number. Damn. Good for y', all, man.

[David Boren]

Oh, thanks, man. You can find me at Stilo Brim. I think across all, maybe not Tick Tock, but who cares? Tick Tockers are not watching this. Right? Not our peers. Not our peers.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

No.

[David Boren]

Yeah. Only pedophiles are on there.

[Langston Kerman]

And if pedophiles. If you're listening, don't put us over there. Don't. Don't mix and match, baby. But follow Steelo boy.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

You you got anything cool guy jokes87 on Instagram? Watch Royal Crackers on HBO.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, and as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman. And as always, you can. You can follow our YouTube subscribe. Write me in comments. We look forward to all that shit. And send us your own conspiracy theories, your own drops, your own accusations of who is and who isn't a pedophile to my Mama podcast. We would love to hear from you. That's about it. Bye bitch. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money.

[Lauren Vogelbaum]

Martians invented turkey stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Steelo Brim]

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[Langston Kerman]

This is an I Heart podcast.