Silver Teeth Are For The Bad Kids (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Silver Teeth Are For The Bad Kids"

Podcast Information:

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Comedians Langston Kerman and David Borey explore the most exciting, groundbreaking, and sometimes problematic Black conspiracy theories. They engage guests to discuss everything from silly conspiracies to frightening ones, often drawing from anecdotes like those from an uncle with peculiar habits.
• Episode: Silver Teeth Are For The Bad Kids
• Release Date: January 28, 2025

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "Silver Teeth Are For The Bad Kids," hosts Langston Kerman and David Borey embark on an exploration of societal perceptions and conspiracy theories surrounding the concept of "silver teeth" in the Black community. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary, they dissect the metaphorical and literal implications of silver teeth as a symbol of socioeconomic status and identity.

Setting the Stage: Introducing Silver Teeth

The conversation kicks off with David introducing the central theme:

David Borey [21:03]: "It's just like we're making fun of kids with a lack of resources, right?"

Langston agrees, framing the discussion around how silver teeth are often perceived as a marker of poverty rather than a fashion statement:

Langston Kerman [21:26]: "We're truly just making fun of poor kids."

Personal Anecdotes: Experiences with At-Risk Youth

Both hosts delve into their personal experiences dealing with after-school programs and at-risk youth, providing a backdrop for understanding the origin of the silver teeth metaphor.

Langston shares his teaching experiences:

Langston Kerman [12:13]: "I had been working with kids in high school and shit for a while. I had a teacher in high school who sort of would take us to middle schools and younger classes and let us be his assistants in sort of working in education."

David reflects on encountering at-risk youth:

David Borey [09:31]: "I walked past the after school program in my neighborhood the other day. A bunch of at risk youth. It was too much. I didn't like that."

These anecdotes highlight the challenges faced by youth in under-resourced environments and set the stage for discussing how symbols like silver teeth emerge in such contexts.

Dissecting the Silver Teeth Metaphor

The hosts analyze the symbolism of silver teeth, questioning whether it's an intentional statement or a result of economic constraints.

David posits:

David Borey [24:06]: "It's just funny that you think it's silver just because of the lack of resources on the tooth. I think silver is the cheapest one."

Langston adds:

Langston Kerman [24:22]: "I think it's just that color is probably free."

They debate whether silver teeth are a deliberate fashion choice or a makeshift solution due to financial limitations, ultimately leaning towards the latter.

Societal Implications and Stereotypes

The discussion pivots to the broader societal implications of associating silver teeth with negative stereotypes.

David challenges the notion:

David Borey [20:56]: "We've got cell phones, we have smartphones in our pocket. We can't engineer these kids some shiny teeth at least."

Langston contemplates the aesthetic choices:

Langston Kerman [24:32]: "It's crazy because it also was born in the platinum chain era. We should have been like, fuck yeah. Silver teeth. That's cool."

Despite recognizing the stigma, both hosts lament the lack of affordable alternatives that could allow for self-expression without the negative connotations.

Conspiracy Theories Explored

In their characteristic humorous style, Langston and David weave conspiracy theories into the conversation, linking them metaphorically to the silver teeth topic.

David introduces a conspiracy theory:

David Borey [04:02]: "That cybertruck explosion, uh. Oh, I think it was a psyop by Big Firework."

Langston responds playfully:

Langston Kerman [04:27]: "I like that because it presumes that fiasco was the word that they were gonna choose."

While these segments serve more as comedic interludes, they underscore the podcast's focus on blending humor with critical analysis of societal issues.

Reflections on Education and Economic Mobility

The hosts reflect on the role of education in economic mobility, contrasting it with less traditional paths.

Langston discusses his teaching career:

Langston Kerman [10:49]: "I genuinely was like, well, I want to have a career. I don't want to be like a dude who just like goes and fiddles around."

David critiques conventional career paths:

David Borey [13:32]: "That's just like talking. Hey, did you know you have a couple seconds I could get you? What If I told you I could get you a free roof and your insurance would pay for it."

This segment highlights the tension between pursuing stable, conventional careers and seeking alternative means of financial success, a theme that resonates with their exploration of societal perceptions like silver teeth.

Concluding Thoughts: Challenging Stereotypes and Encouraging Conversations

As the episode wraps up, Langston and David emphasize the importance of challenging stereotypes and fostering open conversations about socioeconomic disparities.

Langston emphasizes understanding:

Langston Kerman [23:47]: "Yeah. It's like they're kids already, right? So they don't get silver teeth on their own."

David underscores the need for empathy:

David Borey [35:02]: "It's crazy that this is, like, some version of survival for us."

Their closing remarks urge listeners to look beyond superficial symbols and address the underlying issues that lead to such societal stigmas.

Notable Quotes

• David Borey [21:03]: "It's just like we're making fun of kids with a lack of resources, right?"
• Langston Kerman [21:26]: "We're truly just making fun of poor kids."
• David Borey [24:06]: "It's just funny that you think it's silver just because of the lack of resources on the tooth. I think silver is the cheapest one."
• Langston Kerman [24:22]: "I think it's just that color is probably free."
• David Borey [35:02]: "It's crazy that this is, like, some version of survival for us."

---

Conclusion "Silver Teeth Are For The Bad Kids" offers a thoughtful and humorous examination of how societal perceptions and economic limitations intersect, using the symbol of silver teeth as a focal point. Through personal stories and engaging banter, Langston Kerman and David Borey encourage listeners to rethink stereotypes and consider the deeper issues affecting underprivileged youth in the Black community.

For those interested in exploring similar themes and diving deeper into Black conspiracy theories with a comedic twist, "My Momma Told Me" provides both entertainment and insightful commentary.

Transcript

[David Borey]

Amazon One Medical presents painful thoughts. I could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room.

[Langston Kerman]

A kid just wiped his runny nose.

[David Borey]

On my jacket and the guy next.

[Langston Kerman]

To me sitting in a pool of.

[David Borey]

Perspiration insists on sharing my armrest. Next time, make an appointment with an.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Amazon One medical provider.

[David Borey]

There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Amica Insurance Representative]

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[Boox Company Representative]

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[Langston Kerman]

I never had that where I had to get taken home. But I did get I was always the last kid at after school program.

[David Borey]

That'S also not a good guy. It sucks after school program when nobody's there.

[Langston Kerman]

It stinks. Nobody's there. Every adult there is so tired of you.

[David Borey]

They're tired of you. They hate your mom.

[Langston Kerman]

I resent everything about you. And you're standing there and you're still dribbling a basketball, just oblivious.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? Just fucking Roberta.

[Langston Kerman]

Check this out.

[David Borey]

You still think you're friends? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You're like, nah, we were hanging out earlier. You asked me could I catwalk. I show you government growing babies, microchips.

[Ryan Seacrest]

In your anus, all koala Bears are racist.

[Langston Kerman]

The ozone layer owes me money.

[David Borey]

Marshy to vet and turkey stuffing. Y'all can't tell me nothing. Come on, baby. Show some class. Why you wanna move so fast? We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. We could dance and party all and drink some cherry wine. Welcome, little mamas and chick toddles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama.

[Langston Kerman]

Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, and we finally work to.

[David Borey]

Prove whatever it is you're talking about.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. All the bullshit that runs through your head, we'll prove it, right?

[David Borey]

Hell, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

We'll make you believe that you were right the whole time, you stupid bitch. We know you're dumb.

[David Borey]

Here's what I'm thinking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

That cybertruck explosion, uh. Oh, I think it was a psyop by Big Firework.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah. Cause here's. Listen to this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Trump Tower cybertruck fiasco.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David Borey]

It's an anagram for buy fireworks cuck. So you like that one?

[Langston Kerman]

I like that.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I like that because it presumes that fiasco was the word that they were gonna choose.

[David Borey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on the. Bro. I was in the Delta Lounge fucking. That was My Beautiful Mind.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

I was sitting there like, I got to make it work.

[Langston Kerman]

Mr. Borea, another ginger ale. Shut the fuck up, bitch.

[David Borey]

Get out of here.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm onto.

[David Borey]

I cracked a fucking case.

[Langston Kerman]

You're talking to me about ginger ale?

[David Borey]

Give me the WI fi backwards.

[Langston Kerman]

I swear to God, I'll change airlines. I swear to God.

[David Borey]

I did look into it, though. Fireworks sales have been very down.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, shit, bro.

[David Borey]

That shit was up at 600 million in 22. 2022. And now it's down to, like, 300 or something like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. Why do you think that is?

[David Borey]

This article, the one article that I read said something was about pandemic. I kind of feel like. And this is gonna sound crazy, I feel like sometime between 2020, I think sometime between 2021 to 2020 now. Till now.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. White women, 2020.

[David Borey]

Now, white women switched up on fireworks, and then everybody pretended like they've hated them forever now.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, you think white women were the sort of starter to the pivot.

[David Borey]

Did you ever know? Remember in 2015, white ladies loved fireworks.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It felt mostly for white women.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? That's a.

[Langston Kerman]

That's cool. Not the participation in fireworks, but the literal, like, receiving of fireworks. Like, people being like, let's go to the fireworks. Let's go to Joy. Look at this baby. Yeah. Yeah. It felt like a white woman now playing with fireworks. That's for everybody.

[David Borey]

Come on. That's where I come in.

[Langston Kerman]

We all got dirt bags in our families, and in that way, they are for all of us.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I want to learn how to smoke cigarettes and light off bottle rockets. This summertime, I'll have to be back to fifth grade for six weeks. I do feel like there was a tonal shift. And it's interesting because I even hate to say this, but, like, man, they do stress dogs out.

[Langston Kerman]

No, they really suck for animals.

[David Borey]

Yeah, I get it.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not. And it is a funny thing about it, because it's not like some weird liberal agenda thing. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Like, I want it to be.

[Langston Kerman]

I want it to be everybody's dog gets fucking sick.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

The night of 4th of July and a lot of Dodgers games. Like.

[David Borey]

Also Chinese New Year. Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

If you live next to some Mexican fol during the Dodgers game, you are gonna have a noisy night.

[David Borey]

Hell, yeah. And that is a tough thing for me to reconcile because it's like, as a lifelong lover of fireworks, knowing how irresponsible they are, it's like, damn, man. I can't even justify it anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, man. It's a tough, Tough thing to have to give up, I guess.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Growing up is hard, you know?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm sorry.

[David Borey]

It's okay, man. I still got other stuff. I've even.

[Langston Kerman]

Reach. Reach. Come on. The love of a. No, that's not enough.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That doesn't cover it.

[David Borey]

If that was enough, I wouldn't be stealing from the grocery store. Sometimes I just want to feel. I've been trying to make her steal all the time. She hates. Whoa. She doesn't ever.

[Langston Kerman]

She won't participate.

[David Borey]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

But you'll do it with her.

[David Borey]

I'll like, man, this is. This feels sometimes. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

You don't ever steal with your wife?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't steal. Oh, I wish I did. I don't think. I don't say that at all to shame you. I really am impressed. I have a few friends who, like, are very open about, like. No, I steal all the time.

[David Borey]

I don't steal all the time. It's like, little funny shit sometimes.

[Langston Kerman]

I got you.

[David Borey]

Yeah. I'm not like, I've never been, like, a thief in the way that, like. Like, I wouldn't steal from people.

[Langston Kerman]

No. But it's like, it's always Walmart Corporation in a way that it's like, well, you're not gonna do anything about this. Even if you did catch me.

[David Borey]

What are you gonna do if I drink a brisk in the store while I'm walking around?

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa, that terrifies me.

[David Borey]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

I do not have that confidence.

[David Borey]

You? It's not even confident. It's the kids who work there. At 15?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

It's like bringing alcohol into the movies. What are you? You're a child. I'm a man.

[Langston Kerman]

I get it and I believe you. I don't have it in me.

[David Borey]

That's so weird because it's.

[Langston Kerman]

Even the way you're saying it sounds like some shit. I've been so scared of children in my adult life that I have no doubt that those kids would scare me too.

[David Borey]

But these are working kids. These are losers the other day, right? These are kids who have kids who have a job. They're losers.

[Langston Kerman]

If you're a kid with a job, fuck you.

[David Borey]

But I walked past because I do. I know what you mean. I walked past the after school program in my neighborhood the other day. A bunch of at risk youth.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

I wanted to turn the dog around. I was like, stella, let's go back, bro. Let's just go the other way. They were outside, they were playing basketball. They had other at risk youth. Like, they were. That. It was too much. I didn't like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Now make that your job. You understand?

[David Borey]

Why did you do that?

[Langston Kerman]

I was going into classrooms. Some of them. There was a freshman class. My second year at a school in Boston. There was a freshman class that from day one, I was like, these niggas hate me, right? They. They're not fucking with me. They're not giving me. They're not laughing at no riffs. They're like kind of being disrespectful already. I got a. I got a whole year starting off like that, and it didn't get no better.

[David Borey]

And you got a bow tie on.

[Langston Kerman]

And I got a bow tie on.

[David Borey]

You don't even have your armor. They can't even be like, at least he dresses cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, he's fly.

[David Borey]

Ye. Why did you. Is that like a self. Self flagellation thing is. It is stand up. Similar to that where you're like going in to prove yourself against insurmountable odds.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I didn't know what else I could do. I genuinely was like, well, I want to. I want to have a career. I don't want to be like a dude who just like goes and fiddles around. I went to school, you know what I mean? Got good grades and like, Followed all the rules. And so, like, in my mind, I should keep following the rules and find a career. And teaching felt like, well, I don't have any other skills.

[David Borey]

But didn't you feel like you were smart enough to figure out how to get some money, though? Cause teaching there was. You truly had no. You're like, you were just on some good person shit, right? Like, you were never. There was no plan to get money in the equation, right? No.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know that there's a plan that anyone could have to get money in education. Like, short of, like, abandoning education and then writing about it. Like, you can't watch English teacher on that. Yes, they were all teachers on that show.

[David Borey]

But that's what I mean is like, so you. Because you didn't. Did you believe in it? Like, in a. I mean, there's. There's that level of, like, acts of service. Right. You felt like you were doing good.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You believed in the idea.

[Langston Kerman]

I believed in it enough that I recognized that I could be good at it in some way, and I believed it.

[David Borey]

How do you even tell. What's the barometer?

[Langston Kerman]

I had been working with kids in high school and shit for a while. I had a teacher in high school who sort of would take us to middle schools and younger classes and let us be his assistants in sort of working in education. And then I'm older. I'm much older than all of my siblings. I'm 10 years older than the name next in line. So I'd already been, like, around kids. It's sort of like my mom had what I now believe to be an illegal daycare basement.

[David Borey]

Come on. We don't need to. Come on. Who knows?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know the legality.

[David Borey]

It was community. She was servicing the community we had.

[Langston Kerman]

You know, she was like, putting up, hosting her own shit and sort of doing her own thing. I'd been around kids enough, coached basketball. Like, I could have figured it out. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

Interesting.

[Langston Kerman]

Whereas, like, if somebody was like, all right, now learn mufflers. What. What do you mean? I don't.

[David Borey]

But you never. That's interesting. I get. Okay, so you would. Had a background in it. Cause I. Teaching seems like, bro, there's no way I would have ended up.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I mean, you talk about doing the roofing, and that's how I feel where it's like, there's no world where I would have, like, gone and signed up.

[David Borey]

That's just like talking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Hey, did you know you have a couple seconds I could get you? What If I told you I could get you a free roof and your insurance would pay for it. A free roof and your insurance. That's how they do it. They say, I'll get you, and your insurance will pay for it. By the way, I got the solar guy if you want to save money on your electrical bill or whatever. Yeah, like, I could see a way of making money doing that. But you were just. You were just going to be poor and poor and proud forever.

[Langston Kerman]

Huh? I think, if I'm being honest with you, I think I always thought that I would find a creative way out.

[David Borey]

Come on. You knew you were trying to be a movie star.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't think it was movie at the time.

[David Borey]

Right, right, right.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it was poetry. And I think my plan was to event. I was gonna use education sort of as a starting point, but I'd eventually work my way up into, like, some kind of professorship and publish and sort of become a very important poet.

[David Borey]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, was the transition that education would follow.

[David Borey]

Oh, I don't know any poets except for. Who's the one cool poet they give you in high school? Dreads, dark skin, black. Stacy.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, Saul Williams. Yeah, okay.

[David Borey]

Yeah, sure. That's the only.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

Was that the. You were trying to be more scholastic than that?

[Langston Kerman]

I think at the time, in high school, I wanted to be Saul Williams, and I wanted later to be more of, like, a page poet, a literary guy.

[David Borey]

Man, that's a tough road.

[Langston Kerman]

You really didn't have.

[David Borey]

You haven't really picked a lot of. Easy, easy.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why we're here, baby.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Cause this is also. We're doing a black conspiracy podcast on Will Ferrell's network. You really not taking a lot of layups, my man?

[Langston Kerman]

Baby, I do it niche or I don't do it at all.

[David Borey]

Hey, I used to work at the gas station. It was a good job, too, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

But if you think about, like, even the creative shit that. That you do, that's why comedy is so appealing to me. Because, like, when it's great, it's so fucking good. And it's why you resent. I resent at least, like, even the cool jobs. Cool jobs and the shit ain't funny. I get so mad.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It doesn't really feel worth it.

[Langston Kerman]

You're sitting there like, damn, I know this has, like, weight to it, but come on, y'all. This sucks.

[David Borey]

Yeah. Doing unfunny shit for money is.

[Langston Kerman]

It stinks.

[David Borey]

I mean, that being said, if you guys want to hire me for your little sitcom. You need a fat friend, fat neighbor, fat teacher. I'll be the coach. I'll be the centric entertainer.

[Langston Kerman]

There you go.

[David Borey]

You know what I mean? I got you. But.

[Langston Kerman]

I like that you kept saying fat.

[David Borey]

I think that's usually what happened.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure. But we knew you could have said friend after a while.

[David Borey]

Okay, you need a friend or a PE coach.

[Langston Kerman]

We weren't gonna miss. That part is. It's cooked in.

[David Borey]

What are we here to talk about? I don't even know.

[Langston Kerman]

We had a conspiracy. I thought at least it was suggested that we talk. My mama told me, which is a thing that's come up a bunch between us privately. My mama told me bad kids have silver teeth.

[David Borey]

Bro, this has been coming up in my life in general a lot lately.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm so sorry.

[David Borey]

No, no, no. It's just people have brought it up to me. Like different people have been saying shit about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Borey]

And then it's like, I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait. Before you get into it, let's take a break. And then when we come back, you can unpack some of what you got about this silver tea.

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[David Borey]

Yeah. Yes.

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[Langston Kerman]

I actually am 1.4% Nigerian. Africa.

[David Borey]

African.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm a sister. Okay.

[David Borey]

And I'm a brother.

[Langston Kerman]

And I'm a lover.

[David Borey]

No. These kids with silver teeth. So it's been, like, I think within the last month or so, it's been brought up to me as, like, an example.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[David Borey]

Like, a few times. Like, one time I was talking to my girl, and she was like, oh, you know, he has silver teeth. And like, just like. It's just like. I've seen it a while, and I was thinking about it, and I was like, I think what it is, is, like, we're making fun of kids with a lack of resources, Right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. We're truly just making on poor kids.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It's like, they were bad. Cause they were so poor.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

They had teeth. It wasn't. It's not jewelry. That's a different kid.

[Langston Kerman]

I bet if we looked at who gave them a ride home, we'd also get some cues on how they. Yeah.

[David Borey]

A lot of coaches who wanted to go to their house first. Were you ever that K got picked up? The coach had to take you home?

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Borey]

Ooh, that's a bad day.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, no, I didn't.

[David Borey]

That's a bad day. Cause he's like. He's there, you're there, and then you realize he realizes he can't just leave you there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, this wasn't even an agreement ahead of time.

[David Borey]

No, no. This is. A coach is leaving after practice.

[Langston Kerman]

He's stuck around an hour and a half to, like, work on something.

[David Borey]

And then you're still out there.

[Langston Kerman]

You're still sitting on the curb all alone.

[David Borey]

Yeah. And then he's like, your. Yeah. And then you gotta be like. But then he's also gotta be like, well, I'll give you a ride home. And you're like, coach Marcus, I understand that if she shows up and I'm not here, I'm gonna get my ass.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And then it's like, okay, well, you want to come in the car? And then you're like. You trying to jerk me off. Yeah, that never happened.

[Langston Kerman]

I was gonna skip that part. There was a time my parents would be so late where after a while, they would make me wait at the top of the stairs.

[David Borey]

Oh, yeah, I've had that. Man, these are crazy memories. I'm just remembering where it's like they start shutting down to where you're in.

[Langston Kerman]

The last room, last available space.

[David Borey]

That's the saddest.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

A place that was once filled with children, and now you're just.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't even go be. You don't even get to go to be a kid area.

[David Borey]

No, you can't even. We already put the books away.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

We already put all this shit up.

[Langston Kerman]

Put your homework away.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Go wait at the top of the stairs.

[David Borey]

Put your coat on. Put your backpack on. They're waiting in the doorway. Yeah. Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

It's embarrassing.

[David Borey]

That shit is about as bad as it gets. Yeah, that shit is pretty rough.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I. So in that way, I do. I guess I sympathize with what you're saying, that maybe this is just us making fun of the poor.

[David Borey]

I think that's what it is because it's like they're kids already, right? So they don't get silver teeth on their own. Like, no kid's like, oh. Cause if I had a choice as a kid. Yeah, it'd all be cool. Do you not feel that?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but it's just funny that. That you think it's silver just because of the. The lack of resources On. On the tooth. It's. I think silver is the cheapest one.

[David Borey]

Oh, is it the cheapest metal?

[Langston Kerman]

I think I have to assume that.

[David Borey]

That has to be a metal.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think it's actual silver.

[David Borey]

No, I don't. It can't be.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's just that color is probably free.

[David Borey]

Okay. It's like a. It's a sinister color.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Like when you see. Did you ever know a kid who had too many.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's not a. It's not a silver. You envy. No, it doesn't.

[David Borey]

It's not shiny, which is like, bro, come on. We have cell phones, we have smartphones in our pocket.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

We can't engineer these kids some shiny teeth at least.

[Langston Kerman]

It's crazy because it also was born in the platinum chain era. Do you know what I mean? So we should have been like, fuck yeah. Silver teeth. That's cool.

[David Borey]

That's how you know they did it on purpose.

[Langston Kerman]

No, we were like that.

[David Borey]

That's. Your shit looks dirty.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

It makes your whole mouth look dirty.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It can't be real silver. If it is, I apologize. I know there's probably some person at home very upset that we were suggesting.

[David Borey]

Right, right. And you were probably bad.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

And I'm sorry you had to wait in Mr. Marcus's car til your mom came.

[Langston Kerman]

Look, man, if you would just focus up.

[David Borey]

Yeah, that was. Bro, that was the worst shit about that situation. Wasn't even the best on the team. It wasn't like he was waiting for an aspiring Michael Vic, cuz then it's like an inspirational story. This nigga is 7 out of 10.

[Langston Kerman]

He's not Sandra Bullock at all, bro.

[David Borey]

He's just a guy who probably start varsity. If you work hard, it's not going anywhere.

[Langston Kerman]

No, there's. There's no career after this. I'm not building a name here.

[David Borey]

No, no, no. So.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I'm not going to be able to grab your mask and be like, Bori, we're counting on you as an.

[David Borey]

Interior defensive lineman in the seventh grade.

[Langston Kerman]

You could have saved this team, buddy. This is what we've been working for. This is what those Car rides were all about.

[David Borey]

You remember those car rides. No, there is none of that. Which by the way, fuck these athletic kids, all right? The truly good athletic kids were spoiled the whole time and we always pretend like they weren't. Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[David Borey]

Come on, man. You don't think LeBron had a car when he turned 16, right? Come on, man. Everybody knew. Everybody knows.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Borey]

Is we need to look out for the mid kids. Oh, the 6.5s to 7.5.

[Langston Kerman]

There's still potential there.

[David Borey]

And they're all hearts.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Maybe they don't like this situation either.

[David Borey]

No, no. And okay. Are they going to make it out via football? Probably not. But they might be a mid level insurance salesman.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[David Borey]

And you need that more than you need a professional football player.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, insurance prices are going up. Maybe that's going to be a little in for you.

[David Borey]

Come on. Or they might be a teacher turned. I don't. What would you describe yourself now?

[Langston Kerman]

A survivor, baby. I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna give up.

[David Borey]

No, no, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

Stop.

[David Borey]

Never stop. Keep saying hey.

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[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

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[David Borey]

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job right now in life?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not embarrassed.

[David Borey]

You don't tell them this though. You tell them about English teacher or like whatever TV show I say I'm in.

[Langston Kerman]

Entertainment.

[David Borey]

That's smart.

[Langston Kerman]

And then, and then if they get curious, I'll explain more. But like I don't start with podcasts. No, no, that's.

[David Borey]

That's kind of the last one. It's like a mumble. Yeah, you know I do some television writing. I do some voiceover work as well. Yeah, I tour as a stand up comedian and also a couple podcasts.

[Langston Kerman]

Occasionally I podcast. I don't know. Yeah I'm not committed to it.

[David Borey]

No, no, no. I think it's a useless medium. Really.

[Langston Kerman]

What I'm interested in is art.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I will say that while I agree with you about it being a resource thing, there did seem to be some level of choosing the silver that maybe we are unaware of. You know what I mean?

[David Borey]

That like on the end of the parent or on the end of the child.

[Langston Kerman]

The child that like there's a. Or the parent. I think it's probably.

[David Borey]

Letting you choose what color your teeth are. Probably a lack of resources anyway.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure. But then there's the other side where it's like, I bet they had something that was worse but not silver, that your teeth could have been.

[David Borey]

You think so?

[Langston Kerman]

I think so. I bet there was probably like a yellow. You know what I mean? Like it just. There was probably just. You know what I mean, Something stupid.

[David Borey]

Like a fleshy or like something that's.

[Langston Kerman]

Not so dark mother of pearl that they would like put into it.

[David Borey]

Those kids teeth, I'm thinking about them. You know what was fucked up about them is they were like silver on the front, but it seemed like the edges were black. So then it made it just look. Made your mouth look dirtier.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, it was bad.

[David Borey]

You ever teach any silver teeth? Kids who kind of got out of it?

[Langston Kerman]

I bet I can think of at least three kids that had silver teeth and they were my more troublesome children.

[David Borey]

Did they? How's that?

[Langston Kerman]

Now they're not people that I would know how to check in on.

[David Borey]

Oh, God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean, bro, you.

[David Borey]

Can'T even fight them on an interview. That's a bad sign.

[Langston Kerman]

I bet I can, but you know what I mean, like, it ain't just gonna be their name. It's gonna be something like weird and nasty.

[David Borey]

Yeah. It's gonna be some explanation of a thing they do. Yeah. First name thing that they do. Well, yeah. Thing that they have gooder than them or whatever.

[Langston Kerman]

Pink booty hair, 73. And it's like, oh, okay, you got some weird shit going on that I ain't trying to.

[David Borey]

Would you if you had to put a skill into one of your social media. Cause you're Langston Kerman across platforms.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Borey]

Had you ever considered something else?

[Langston Kerman]

No. Cause I was like, nah, why would I fuck around? This is right here and nobody else wants it. And if this is going to ever become mine, I got to take it right away.

[David Borey]

No, you really saw the vision in a smart way.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, it's paid off dividends. I'm Killing it on social media.

[David Borey]

That's true. You are huge.

[Langston Kerman]

I am massive on social media.

[David Borey]

You're the only Langston Kerman I follow every day.

[Langston Kerman]

I say to myself, buddy, another banger. Another goddamn banger of a day on social media. You're accumulating followers at an insane clip. No one's ever seen anything like this in their lives.

[David Borey]

I'm, like, three checks away from giving that shit up, to be honest. If I could make $30,000 more dollars this year, I won't have Instagram, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

It's crazy that this is, like, some version of survival for us.

[David Borey]

Is it? Are we surviving?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. I think so. I think we are surviving.

[David Borey]

I feel like I'm in Coach's car all over again.

[Langston Kerman]

We're grateful for you that. Watch and listen. We do believe that this beautiful thing that we've created continues to feed us, to grow. Yeah. Over the years. It's fun.

[David Borey]

I have been having a good time. We've been getting some emails of people being angry, too. That's exciting.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. People are pissed off.

[David Borey]

I like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Happy with us. I like that they've got things to say and they're not in a psychotic way.

[David Borey]

No, no. In a very direct upset with our personalities.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Really? Like, not enjoying us and our lives. I was the one. I was like, damn, he ain't even. He ain't even that wrong. Like, it's like, fuck you. You know what I mean? But it wasn't like. It wasn't, like, egregious.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He was polite.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[David Borey]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, thank you to everything you do.

[David Borey]

Oh, okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Cool, man.

[David Borey]

Except for that lady who's commenting about me having a snotty nose all the time.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, shit.

[David Borey]

Fuck you, bitch. All right. Sometimes I get congested. You still watch, bitch.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's not nice. Your nose is fine. You're doing all right.

[David Borey]

Yeah. So I started varsity.

[Langston Kerman]

You started two years. Only took a couple rides home from coach.

[David Borey]

Couple rides home and never got tricked off. How about that?

[Langston Kerman]

Never once.

[David Borey]

How about that?

[Langston Kerman]

Wasn't even offered.

[David Borey]

Yep. Come on. Not hot enough.

[Langston Kerman]

Coach. You got in the car, you was like, hey, man, this is just a ride. By the way.

[David Borey]

By the way, nothing's gonna happen. It's like when a bad date with a woman. Nothing's gonna happen. By the way.

[Langston Kerman]

By the way, it's coach's time of.

[David Borey]

The month, so Coach has a headache.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we did it.

[David Borey]

Yeah, this is pretty good, I thought.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we did great. You want to tell people where they can find you and what you got going on.

[David Borey]

You can find me in the bathroom changing shirts. So you don't think that we did these all on the same day.

[Langston Kerman]

Perfect way to dispel the illusion. Tell them about it directly. What a useless choice that we've wasted our entire airplane that didn't service anybody. They don't feel any more joy knowing.

[David Borey]

That that's not hilarious.

[Langston Kerman]

Now look at us. We're fools.

[David Borey]

We're fools. That's pretty funny to let them know that that happened.

[Langston Kerman]

That's hilarious.

[David Borey]

Also, please buy my special so I don't have to take rides with strangers. Patreon.com David Bore the special is called Birth of a Nation with the G. It's selling like hotcakes. I sell one to three a day. You think I need this? Yeah, I got Patreon money, you bitch. Langston, where are you gonna be.

[Langston Kerman]

Now? I don't know at all. You can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. I ain't got nothing else really going on to go watch the special on Netflix. And if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us what that other color for your teeth could have been, send it all to mymamapodmail.com give us a call at @844, Lil Moms. We would love to hear from you. Buy the merch. Oh yeah. Subscribe Rate Review rate Wait, wait.

[David Borey]

Leave comments.

[Langston Kerman]

Leave comments. Blow your nose, bitch. Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

White wine, White woman and Hate crimes.

[Langston Kerman]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kernan, co hosted by David.

[David Borey]

Bourie executive produced by Will Ferrell Ansani and Olivia Aguilar.

[Langston Kerman]

Co produced by Bay Wayne.

[David Borey]

Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman.

[Langston Kerman]

Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger. You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

To Blue Diamond Resorts and do your.

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

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