Suboptimus Prime (with Langston and David)

Summary

My Momma Told Me – “Suboptimus Prime” (October 14, 2025)

Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Network: Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts

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Main Theme & Episode Overview

This episode is a classic “Langston and David” installment: just the two hosts riffing together, fielding voicemails, discussing the most offbeat aspects of Black conspiracy culture, and getting gleefully distracted by tangents. The show opens with laughter about community feedback, drifts into the nuanced etiquette of Black barbershops, explores AI "slurs" and robot personhood, and climaxes with a conspiracy about Optimus Prime’s allegiances—plus, a hilarious Tupac-bio casting theory from a Memphis caller. The tone is irreverent, candid, and deeply embedded in Black pop culture and how those spaces intersect with larger ideas about masculinity, technology, and identity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Barber Shop Etiquette & Vulnerability

Timestamps: 02:20–16:34

• Barbershop Emotional Minefield:
  Langston and David dive into the subtle, rarely discussed rules and feelings that Black men encounter at the barbershop.
  • David gets self-conscious about keeping his eyes closed too long during a cut, connecting it to growing up without a father:

    “I started looking back over a life of, like, a long time, eyes closed in the chair.” (05:50, David)

  • Conversation about the sudden realization of how intimate (verging on “sensual”) barbershop experiences can be, especially compared to white friends:

    “Sometimes it's more of a sensual experience than you would like it to be.” (05:45, Langston)

  • The vulnerability between client and barber is dissected, with jokes about “unwritten man rules,” masculinity, and what fathers supposedly imparted.
  • Connection to Black standup: David comments on turning to Black comics as “fake dads” for guidance, only to find no bits addressing barbershop eye etiquette.
  • They ask listeners for feedback:

    “How long is too long to close your eyes, or is there too long?” (13:16, Langston)

2. Black Conspiracies, Media Spaces, and Standing Invitation

Timestamps: 11:11–12:55

• The duo jokes about the possibility of ever being accepted in mainstream Black spaces like Essence Fest, hip-hop media, or mainstream comedy festivals.
• They touch on how their humor, takes, and willingness to “say crazy shit” might keep them on the outside—but they’re happy just having each other:

  “Where are we gonna go? Hey, we can hang out with Joe Budden.” (12:40, David)

3. Voicemail: AI, Robot Slurs, & Personification Conspiracy

Timestamps: 23:10–42:47

• Caller “Lando” from Brooklyn shares a theory about how the rise in using slurs for AI/robots (terms like “clanker” and “cogsucker”) is a psyop to make people subconsciously view AI as real, sentient beings deserving of rights.
• The hosts are sharply critical (and amused) at white people inventing slurs:

  “I don't like white people making up new slurs. That's a position I'm willing to stand strong on.” (24:30, Langston)

• Discussion veers into the pitfalls of viewing AI as living beings:
  • David rants:

    “I hate that they're making it because if you would just say that it's AI...I don't think you would have nearly as many people falling in love with it or having it be their best friend.” (27:55, David)

  • They riff on how robot personification will push society into treating AI as “people,” which they fear will create a cult or even a new kind of religion:

    “If we start treating computers like people, it's just religion now. ... When it becomes religion, it becomes that they...Now it's an even tighter form of control.” (39:44, David) “At some point it won't be [run by people]. ... If we become so sympathetic to it that it is a being for us ... it becomes God.” (40:27, Langston)

  • Even riffing on “clanker” as a slur, they conclude the analogy with the hilarious invention of a “suboptimus” robot (“Optimus Prime is a coon,” 34:09–35:40).

4. Transformers, Blackness, & Optimus Prime as “Coon”

Timestamps: 34:09–38:00

• Langston proposes a tongue-in-cheek conspiracy: Optimus Prime is the “coon” of his world, defending humans even as they abuse and mistreat cars (Transformers’ kin):

  “There’s something funky about Optimus Prime coming over here and being like, no, you’re right. You need to save the human race.” (35:14, Langston)

• They run with the idea, noting America’s abuse of cars (trashing, sex in them, not washing), and mocking Prime’s lack of advocacy for his “people.”
• The Michael Bay twins (“nigga cars”) and representation in Transformers movies are discussed—how racial coding was unnecessarily, overtly done:

  “They very clearly CGI’d hate speech.” (38:13, Langston)

5. Call-In Conspiracy: Tupac Biopic Sabotage

Timestamps: 47:14–54:16

• Lando from Memphis calls in with a new conspiracy: Anthony Mackie (who played Tupac in “Notorious”) was intentionally miscast to make Pac look “slaw”—like Diddy, involved in the film, wanted to disrespect Tupac's image:

  “They pitched Anthony Mackie in that movie to intentionally...slaw out Pac Simmons.” (47:54, Lando—paraphrased)

• The hosts are delighted by the logic and authenticity of the call.
• Discussion about the lost art of truly dedicated, accurate casting—versus “phoned in” celebrity miscasting.
• David muses about the effect playing Biggie or Pac in a biopic has on a career, suggesting it’s often a dead end:

  “That’s like everything they ever wanted you to be. ... That's like the thing they want you to be. ... You want to be a security guard again?” (51:53, David)

6. Audience & Community Reflections

Timestamps: 54:16–55:29

• Who listens to this show? Langston and David joke about the diversity in their audience—especially appreciating their “lil mamas” (a term for their supportive, often female/queer fans).
• They affirm their independence—choosing honesty and fun over respectability:

  “I will not be your champion. I will eventually say something so vile that you are going to have to wrestle with how long you've invested in me.” (55:12, Langston)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We will talk about anybody’s meat for as long as we need to.” (04:09, Langston)
• “Barbers have to be as homophobic as they are, because what they're doing is kind of gay.” (09:02, David)
• “The amount of times that a strange man has pressed his finger to my lip to line up my mustache is unnerving.” (08:39, Langston)
• On AI slurs: “Clanker? That's like a slur that AI can...” (23:58, Langston)
• “If we start treating computers like people, then it is just religion now. ... It's like we have—we lose our relationship with it as a tool once we start to do that.” (39:44, David)
• “Optimus Prime is a little bit of a coon...” (34:09, Langston)
• “I don't like white people making up new slurs. That's a position I'm willing to stand strong on.” (24:30, Langston)
• On casting in biopics:
  “I don't think you go anywhere after that. ... If you're fat and dark-skinned, they want you to be Biggie or ... some kind of unsexual blob.” (51:39–52:05, David)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Barbershop Eye-Closing, Masculinity, and Fake Dads: 02:20–16:34
• Where Does This Podcast Fit in Black Media? 11:11–12:55
• Voicemail 1: AI Slurs and Personification Conspiracy: 23:10–42:47
• Optimus Prime/Transformers Conspiracy and Blackness: 34:09–38:00
• Voicemail 2: Tupac Biopic Conspiracy (Lando from Memphis): 47:14–54:16
• Reflection on Audience & Community: 54:16–55:29

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Tone & Final Thoughts

Langston and David mix sharp wit, performative mock outrage, and genuine curiosity in a conversational style that’s intimate, unpolished, and uniquely Black. They delight in nonsense and “problematic” humor, constantly alluding to cultural codes, unspoken rules, and contradictions inherent in the Black American experience. Whether discussing barbershop etiquette, the personhood of AI, or why Optimus Prime might be a race traitor, the hosts embody a new kind of irreverent podcast space: honest, weird, deeply funny, and unafraid to speculate wildly on pop culture’s secret meanings.

Listeners are encouraged to participate—send in conspiracies, drops, and even new slurs for robots.

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Recommended if you enjoy: Unfiltered Black humor, pop culture analysis, absurdist conspiracies, irreverent discussions of masculinity, race, and technology.

Transcript

[Langston Kerman]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[David Bore]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[Langston Kerman]

It's only cheating if you get caught.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[David Bore]

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[Langston Kerman]

2. Seriously, it's $15 a month.

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[Langston Kerman]

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I use it.

[David Bore]

5.

[Langston Kerman]

My mom uses it. Are you. Are you playing me off?

[David Bore]

That's what's happening, right?

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[Cindy Crawford]

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[Andrea Gunning]

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[David Bore]

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[Langston Kerman]

No, it really is hard to get to that third act and to wrap that story up. And we saw that early in R. Kelly's interpretation of Trapped in the Cloth.

[David Bore]

Interpretation, interpretation.

[Langston Kerman]

I say that as if Homer had his version of it.

[David Bore]

Yeah, no, a lot of people don't know. It was actually a Greek epic and then he just repurposed it.

[Langston Kerman]

It's in the Iliad. If you read it, I know the translation Is a little confusing, but it is like a major part of the Iliad.

[David Bore]

No, it does say, oh, my God. A rub or r. The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Marshy to venom turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing. Some people say, you know they can't believe Jamaica. We have a bobsled team. We have the one Darius and the one Junior Sanka. Welcome, Mamas and Jazz and Lake to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

[Langston Kerman]

Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

[David Bore]

Theories and we finally work to prove whatever the fuck it is we want to do. This is our house, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

Bitch we choose.

[David Bore]

We want to talk about the game's meat for 15 minutes. We're going to do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's address that right now. So apparently one of you. One of you doesn't. For the fact that we talked about the game's meat for as long as we did. And let's be clear, we didn't remember doing it.

[David Bore]

Not at all.

[Langston Kerman]

We don't give a fuck.

[David Bore]

Not at all.

[Langston Kerman]

We will talk about anybody's meat for as long as we need to.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Bo Jackson.

[Langston Kerman]

Yup. What do you think that's like?

[David Bore]

Strong man. Oh, he's so strong. Yeah, he's so, so strong.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think steroids played a part in the Bo Jackson?

[David Bore]

I don't think it takes your dick down. I think it shrinks your balls.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh. I think I always assumed D was part of it.

[David Bore]

Nah, I think it's just balls, which is like, I don't really care.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that maybe explains why so many men don't give a fuck. What do you mean?

[David Bore]

Oh, my balls are gonna get smaller, My meat's gonna look larger, and I'm buffer.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I actually do not give a shit if I have small balls.

[David Bore]

Not even a little bit.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope.

[David Bore]

Anyways, I have something pressing. No, I have something pressing that I've been wanting to talk to you about, and I'm really glad we can get into it right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's do it.

[David Bore]

When you are getting a haircut.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And this is directly tied to. This is, I think, a reason you need a father in your life. If you're a black man. Black male father.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

When you're getting haircut, do you find how long are you closing your eyes for?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh. Hmm.

[David Bore]

Cause I have recently started to get self conscious. I think I'm doing it too much.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh.

[David Bore]

I think, you know, when he's like, you know. Cause when they're doing the front, you keep it closed. But sometimes I'm just, like, keeping it closed, like, getting a haircut, like, just like. And then I'm like, oh, shit, this is like. This is weird. I've been closed for so long.

[Langston Kerman]

Sometimes it's more of a sensual experience than you would like it to be. Yeah. Yeah.

[David Bore]

And I think had I had a man around, and I've been doing it since I was little in the barber, and now I'm, like, looking back over a life of, like, a long time, eyes closed in the chair.

[Langston Kerman]

And do you think that your dad, had he been there taking you to the barbershop, he'd have been like, open your eyes, boy. You don't close your eyes for another man's touch.

[David Bore]

I think that my dad is. I pretend him to be to continue raising myself. Yes. I think he would have said that. I think my father would have been drunk. But I think.

[Langston Kerman]

You think the sober Keith David, as father that took you to the barbershop would tell you to open your eyes.

[David Bore]

Because sometimes in your head, that's who you rely on. Because you're like, okay, I am. That's whatever. Let me get Keith David. And I hear, open up your eyes, boy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And I. Cause I'd be like. Sometimes I'd just be sitting there getting a haircut.

[Langston Kerman]

Here's. Here's what I'll say. I've grown more comfortable closing my eyes and less comfortable making eye contact.

[David Bore]

Oh, interesting.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I get much more wary of, like, the moment where getting that lineup and our eyes meet.

[David Bore]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

That is a true, like, concerning issue for me.

[David Bore]

That's tough because his meat is on your shoulder. You're in his territory.

[Langston Kerman]

He couldn't be giving me a better lap dance.

[David Bore]

And the crazy thing is. Cause I took. So I took one time we had to get haircuts for a wedding, and one of the guys in the bridal party was white. And I took a white guy to a black barber.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, cool.

[David Bore]

And he was like, I've never had a man touch me that much. And then I never thought about it as a sensual experience. Cause I'm so used to it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And then after that, I started thinking about it. But then I. But since then, the eyes closed, I just don't. Because sometimes I pan out and I see him in the barbershop, and I'm like, what I'm worried about is my eyes are closed and I'm smiling. Oh. Cause I'm enjoying the experience. So Cause you know how relaxing it. Especially when he pushes your shit and then he's got the straight razor. Yeah, but I don't want to be back there, like. Yeah, like, that's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't want him to think you're a horned up.

[David Bore]

Yeah. And I think that a man would have been like, hey, open your eyes.

[Langston Kerman]

Open your eyes.

[David Bore]

Always get your hair.

[Langston Kerman]

Put that smile away.

[David Bore]

Yeah, get your hair cut with the back to the door. Whatever. There's, like. I feel like there's always, like, some unwritten man rules that I didn't want. You have a knife in your hand.

[Langston Kerman]

When a nigga's cutting your head.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I always feel like that. Like there's some unwritten man rules that I missed.

[Langston Kerman]

It is. It is. It is one of the more vulnerable things that we don't ever call out for having its queer associations. And that shit has a lot of, like, vulnerable moments in it.

[David Bore]

Getting your haircut.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Like, deeply. Like, truly. The amount of times that a strange man has pressed his finger to my lip to line up my mustache is. Is unnerving. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Or.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Just the whole act of it is, like, very intimate. He's on you. He's pushing you. You know, Which I think is why.

[Langston Kerman]

Barbers have to be as homophobic as they are.

[David Bore]

Because what they're doing is kind of gay.

[Langston Kerman]

It's so gay. I think it's kind of the gayest thing.

[David Bore]

They have to. They have to. Because he's just blending. Yeah, he's blending.

[Langston Kerman]

He's just touching your. He's touching your bottom lips. So you gotta be like, I hate this shit.

[David Bore]

Yeah. You know, I hate how you make me feel. You're right. Fuck y'. All. How many bottom lips did you touch today? I didn't touch one.

[Langston Kerman]

I ain't touched any bottom lips.

[David Bore]

How about that?

[Langston Kerman]

Not one. No. I'm lashing out, children.

[David Bore]

I'm lashing out. I'm lashing out. I just. I was thinking about it, and I was like, man, it's just like, am I closing my eyes too much?

[Langston Kerman]

It's a good question. My guess is no. I think that a barber is more comfortable with you closing your eyes than anything else. If you're not gonna talk.

[David Bore]

I don't talk very much. It depends on the.

[Langston Kerman]

My barber is a chatty motherfucker, so I don't really get a choice, but I have. Yeah, you gotta talk or you gotta shut. Shut the whole system down.

[David Bore]

Yeah, well, I'm in the new phase, too. It's like the beginning of a Relationship where you don't want her to know how crazy you are after you captured it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Bore]

So like I'm like not talking at all. Like, I don't want him to know I'm a comedian yet.

[Langston Kerman]

You're not ready?

[David Bore]

No. So today when I got a cut, he was like, what do you got going the rest of the day?

[Langston Kerman]

I was like, ah, man, bullshitting. Little bit of this, little bit of that.

[David Bore]

I'm not gonna say I gotta go record a podcast.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He like, what podcast? And then you gotta explain.

[David Bore]

I know you gotta be like, it's not 5150. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It ain't one of the three. You know.

[David Bore]

It'S not one. You're gonna look at the clips and be like, cool.

[Langston Kerman]

No, we're not gonna get Corey Hulk them on.

[David Bore]

No, no, we don't have, we don't have a co host who doesn't say anything but has huge titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man, that's a, that's a real market we have. We have to tap into.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Just big breasted, don't say nothing ass lady.

[David Bore]

Come on, man. Hip hop media, man. Which we're not a part of. So that's, you know.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but we'll get there, we'll see.

[David Bore]

I don't think we will. I don't think we will. I don't think we will ever be a part of true hip hop. No, I don't think so.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that. Here's what I think is gonna happen. I think that enough rappers are gonna fuck around with us that we are gonna end up in hip hop media spaces on accident. And I think they're not going to be happy with our behavior. But I do think that we will end up accidentally on a bunch of those sites and in those circles because of getting rappers who we sort of know to come fuck with us.

[David Bore]

I can see that. You know what I'm worried about is I don't think we're gonna any space. Like, remember we were talking like a couple weeks ago. It runs together since I moved to la. I'm truly talking to you all the time. Yeah, we were talking and you were like, I think when we do ESSENCE Fest, we're gonna be fucked. Which is so funny. Yeah, you were like, when we do ESSENCE Fest and they find out what we said, they're gonna hate it. But then I'm like, where do we get to go? We've been saying crazy shit about the NBA. Probably a lot of just straight up wrong shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely. Jemele Hill couldn't have corrected me more often in our conversation.

[David Bore]

Come on, man. We kind of hate comedy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Where are we gonna go? Hey, we can hang out with Joe Budden.

[Langston Kerman]

We got each other. Big dog, man.

[David Bore]

Let's go. Here we go. And we're gonna need it. Cause this shit is going nowhere fast.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[David Bore]

I'm just kidding. We love you guys. I'm having such a good time. This is the best day of my life.

[Langston Kerman]

This is so fun. We're here. We're doing a Langston and David episode. We're gonna talk. We're gonna listen to some voicemails.

[David Bore]

Yeah, fuck it. Is there anything you wanna talk about? That barber thing was sitting heavy on my head. Also, though, I do want you guys to, like, comment about length of time. Eyes closed in the barbershop.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's. Yeah, weigh in.

[David Bore]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

Let's get activated on this. We need to know how long is too long to close your eyes or is there too long? Is the onus more on the barber himself and. And not you? And we've been made to believe it's our responsibility to not close our eyes and smile a little bit while we're getting our haircut.

[David Bore]

Because you know what was fucked up? Once I kind of started feeling that way bad about it, I went to my second fake daddy, which was black stand up comedy.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a bad dad.

[David Bore]

I'm not doing great out here. And no bits about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Bore]

I couldn't find any bits about it. And I was like. I was like. I could have swore. Like, somebody would have got to that.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Bore]

Maybe. Is it people are ashamed. Should I be ashamed of how much I close my eyes?

[Langston Kerman]

I think more people are closing their eyes than you realize.

[David Bore]

Oh, I hope so, man.

[Langston Kerman]

I think. I think a lot of people are closing their eyes. I go to the shop, I see people closing their eyes. Yeah.

[David Bore]

How much do you. You don't though? Too much.

[Langston Kerman]

I got kids. I be asleep, bro.

[David Bore]

Okay. It's relaxing for you.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll like, fully fall asleep, but then I'll wake up really embarrassed.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, it's not. I don't feel proud asleep.

[David Bore]

I'm. And that's the worst place to be embarrassed.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm. I'm stealing winks and then waking up and being like, God, I hope they didn't notice. Oh, boy. If they saw that.

[David Bore]

Barbering experience my whole life. Especially now, because I'm at like, man, my shit's like barber gladiator school, bro. So you walk into my shit and it's like they got like, 25, 30 chairs downstairs. Wow. And then you gotta go upstairs where there's five, which is like.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a lot.

[David Bore]

It's a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You gotta move past. You gotta move through this fucking gauntlet. Yeah. A lot of.

[David Bore]

Lot of blonde braided studs, like, hauling me. Nah. Deep in my eyes looking man as you walk in my dream, one's got a toothpick.

[Langston Kerman]

My dream is to elevate to, like, at home service.

[David Bore]

Oh. Oh, that would be amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

I really want to be able to, like, move past the need for the barbershop the way that I currently am.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Cause I feel like there was, like, at this age, I'm not getting anything new, and I have friends to talk to.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. There was a period where, like. I remember when I was a boy, my barber told me that pregnant pussy was the warmest pussy.

[David Bore]

Yes, I've heard that. I think in a parking lot, but same thing.

[Langston Kerman]

And I remember how formative that was for me. Not necessarily in a good way.

[David Bore]

You got a couple kids, y'. All.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Warm. But he said that. And it's sort of, like, introduced a premise of, like, differences in things that did not exist in me. And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing or if I need to unpack this trauma elsewhere. That said, there was a time where somebody could say something and I'd be like, oh, I never considered it.

[David Bore]

Right now.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm 38 years old. I've considered all of it.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I've done wrong. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And now I gotta be like, well, this nigga's wrong. But I guess it's funny. Or it's not or whatever it is, but I.

[David Bore]

About four years out in the wilderness, though, where I was like, cut my own hair. Not going to barbershops or nothing. This is a really terrible time for me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

No, not. This is. This is probably like. I graduated high school in, oh, five.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, this was a poverty choice.

[David Bore]

No, it was. We moved to a super rural area in the country. So from, like.

[Langston Kerman]

17.

[David Bore]

To, like, 23 formative cut years, I was just. I didn't. Cause I just lived out there. And then I went to school in Oklahoma. And this dude named Fre. This dude named Freak was cutting my hair. But he steals, bro. So he got caught, like, robbing other people's houses. And I was like, no, I'm not coming over here.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, he wasn't stealing from you. He was stealing.

[David Bore]

No, but he was stealing from everybody. Cause it was like a little ass. It was like, A last chance. You type of sit. You know what I mean? So it was like a little town. People who were from that town and then a bunch of dudes from Dallas who were huge but couldn't read.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. These people had come from somewhere else, were trapped in this space, and were then making wild choices.

[David Bore]

There was, like, 12 dudes who were supposed to go to Texas Tech there.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David Bore]

You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Those guys are the biggest bummer to be around on planet Earth, man. A dude who, like, had all the makings of making it and then didn't is like a fucking. Oof. That's hard to be around.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it's a tough. You're seeing dreams die. Like, I remember we were in class the first day of, like, freshman orientation. And, like, we had to do, like, my little orientation group. You had to go up and say what you wanted to do. And I wanted to do radio at the time. And everybody's laughing. But then, like, six dudes were like, shit, hopefully make it to the league. And I was like, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

You hate to hear that out loud.

[David Bore]

Cause I was 20. I had been out. I left home early. I had had an apartment. Like, I knew life could be bleak, but these guys were, like, gifted athletes. They just couldn't read well, so they didn't even know life was sad yet.

[Langston Kerman]

But it also is one of those things where I think the guys that make it to the league just say, I am going to the league. Do you know what I mean? And the guys that end up at, like, a junior college in the middle of nowhere are like, shit, maybe I could. If this happens and this happens, I fly to Italy, then I could go to. It's like, oh, you're not gonna.

[David Bore]

No. These are football guys I'm talking about. There's a football school. Yeah, they had basketball, but I don't.

[Langston Kerman]

Think they were like, either one. It's like, truly, like, oh, the ones. I think the true people who are like, I am going to the league. Or the one ones that are able to overcome the odds, whatever it is.

[David Bore]

Did you ever think that?

[Langston Kerman]

No. I knew. Yeah, same. I. I mean, my dad. My dad is the tallest person in the history of our family. And he's six two. Okay, there. You know what I mean? Like, unless I became, like, truly the point. God, it wasn't happening. And it wasn't that, like, I could see the vibes around me. I was. I was like third string on my. On my high school team. I wasn't about to.

[David Bore]

That's the thing. You could tell early if you're not gonna.

[Langston Kerman]

I was the funniest dude on the team though. I knew that early.

[David Bore]

And look at you now. Where are all those first string guys?

[Langston Kerman]

Not being funny.

[David Bore]

Come on baby.

[Langston Kerman]

They ain't got a podcast and not hooping.

[David Bore]

Not hooping outside the 24.

[Langston Kerman]

They probably listen to 5150 but they ain't got a podcast.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Andrea Gunning]

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[Langston Kerman]

What kind of man would let this.

[David Bore]

Happen to his family?

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Langston Kerman]

It's only cheating if you get caught.

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[Langston Kerman]

Ah, come on.

[David Bore]

Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient.

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[David Bore]

Whoa, this thing moves.

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[Langston Kerman]

And then she said in my ear Go deeper. Stay with me now. And what hurt me is I was already all the way in. Let's do a voicemail. Anyways, we have a lot of fun voicemails from people this month. This one immediately caught my attention. We'll kick off with this. This will be fun. Fun way to start.

[Caller Lando]

Started. I didn't know the beep was the beep. I'm walking down the street in Brooklyn, so if it gets.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know the beep was the beep. Motherfucker. What was it?

[David Bore]

He's probably drunk.

[Tech Advertiser]

All right.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Caller Lando]

That's just the way it is. All right, here's the deal. All my friends know I hate AI. I hate chatbots. I find them abominable reason. So they're always sending me anti AI memes. And I never received any of these with the quote, unquote AI slurs until the same week. All of a sudden, all of them were clanker, cogsucker, whatever the fuck.

[David Bore]

I didn't say that second one. I think that's a deplorable word.

[Langston Kerman]

I've never heard either of those words.

[David Bore]

I think I said clanker on here.

[Langston Kerman]

Clanker.

[David Bore]

That's one. That's one.

[Langston Kerman]

That's like a slur that AI can.

[David Bore]

No, no, it's a slur for robots.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, for ro. Robots. And he said, cod. Sucker.

[David Bore]

Cog sucker, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

Cog sucker.

[David Bore]

This too close to the other one. And I'm an ally.

[Langston Kerman]

Ah, I understand. You're protecting. You're protecting the people you care about.

[David Bore]

Yes.

[Caller Lando]

And on that same week, I saw a New York Times article that was titled something like, millennials are pushing back against AI. How are they doing it? Flirts. And like, also that same week, I saw a Reddit post from someone being like, we use an AI chat bot at work. I've been calling it a clanker. Now I have a meeting with hr. Can I get fired for this?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm going to say this now. I can't say for sure, but this feels like a white person.

[David Bore]

Yeah. You know, talking about making up new slurs.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's what's bugging me. That's what's really bugging me here is I don't think white people leading the charge and making up new slurs. You guys started that shit in the first place. Relax.

[David Bore]

Who do you think? You think we should get it?

[Langston Kerman]

I. Yeah. Yes. I think if anybody gets the turn, it's us.

[David Bore]

First.

[Langston Kerman]

We. They have too many on us. Do you know what I mean? Like, they've got a. If you look up a dictionary of, like, slurs. It's mostly black people.

[David Bore]

You know what I don't like about the white slurs? I don't like it when they add one of our slurs onto somebody else. Like, they just add sand to it and now it's a new slur.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Bore]

That's. That's nasty.

[Langston Kerman]

That is nasty.

[David Bore]

That's nasty work.

[Langston Kerman]

But I think that's how deeply they hate us is that they're like, well, what's the worst thing I can think of? Now you're in that location.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Jungle sand, water.

[David Bore]

You know, are there any water?

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's what they would call a mermaid.

[David Bore]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean?

[David Bore]

Cause you don't think that mermaid is the nigger of the sea. Okay, when you edit this, I want.

[Langston Kerman]

You to do the chicken of the sea can.

[David Bore]

Right?

[Langston Kerman]

But then it's precious. Running with the box with the bucket of chicken. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's complicated, but we gotta get this right. We have to get this right.

[David Bore]

No, this is gonn go huge on Rumble.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't like white people making up new slurs. That's a position I'm willing to stand strong on. But let's hear more of this person's thought.

[Caller Lando]

My conspiracy is this is all a psyop from the AI Company. Because notice the conversation jumped immediately to Are these slurs appropriate? It was never. Is this a Slurpee? I don't think you can use a slur against a machine.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Caller Lando]

If I call my phone a yakity yak. That's not a flare.

[David Bore]

That's.

[Langston Kerman]

See how this just. He just got him.

[David Bore]

Now you're freestyling.

[Langston Kerman]

He just got him ready. They sitting in his back pocket. You don't think he got some silly. He would call you. He's willing to call his phone a.

[David Bore]

Yakety yak that don't even.

[Langston Kerman]

He already knew.

[David Bore]

He is making some point.

[Langston Kerman]

He's making some points. But I don't like his attitude.

[Caller Lando]

That's just a dumb name for a phone. So they're using this conversation to move the like premise to. Now if it's a slur. Chat bots, AI they have consciousness. They're people. They're tricking us. All right? They're using this to set it to where now all of a sudden, we can't get rid of AI because they're people. Anyway, that's it.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Bore]

He went around. He went a long way to do It. But I do hate that they're Persona personifying all these things. I think they personify the right word.

[Langston Kerman]

No. 100%.

[David Bore]

Okay. Yeah. I hate that they're making it because I feel like that's. If you would just say that it's AI and it's really just a collection of other things synthesized. And to tell you one thing, then I don't think you would have nearly as many people falling in love with it or having it be their best friend. Is happening now. Do you use it AI? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not at all.

[David Bore]

Same man. I don't fuck with that shit.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm really scared of it.

[David Bore]

Dirty clanker.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, them clankers got me nervous. I see a clanker, I cross the street.

[David Bore]

You think I'm gonna trust a yakety yak.

[Langston Kerman]

Clanker? I'm grabbing my purse.

[David Bore]

Yeah, they have huge ears. Everybody knows that.

[Langston Kerman]

God damn yagity yaks. But they're loud music.

[David Bore]

They have a very musical culture, though.

[Langston Kerman]

I watched a video the other day of a. Of an A.I. well, of a, like, robot. Like a street robot. I think it might have been China of a street robot that, like, decided all of a sudden to, like, run up on a dude who was on a bike. He was, like, on a bike going one direction, and then the robot just kind of, like, crossed in front of him and then was, like, coming up on some, like, boxing shit. No. Like, fully was ready to fight, right?

[David Bore]

No, that's my biggest fear. The cameo guy and then that.

[Langston Kerman]

And so this dude. Do you want to explain cameo?

[David Bore]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

This feels like. You can't just say that and not explain the truth.

[David Bore]

Sometimes I forget that they weren't with me when I was with you.

[Langston Kerman]

This was a private conversation, so.

[David Bore]

I don't even know how to get into it.

[Langston Kerman]

Me, Your biggest fear.

[David Bore]

Me and my girl were driving to Langston's house to have a very fun game night. So fun. We bought that Monopoly game.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's really fun.

[David Bore]

It's so good. And word up by Cameo comes on, and he's singing. And I was. I was telling my girl, my biggest fear. I think I'm scared of that man. What's the word up? Word up? Yeah. No romance. That guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Yeah. With the copy. I was like. I was like. I don't know. Something about him seems darkly violent.

[Langston Kerman]

He certainly has taken on all the aesthetic of a psychopath.

[David Bore]

He seems able to do physical damage in a real way to you. And I was like. My biggest worry is that, like, somehow we're in the dark and he Runs up on us. And I have to defend your honor with the cameo.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, give me your shit, bitch.

[David Bore]

Yeah, just like candy. I can feel it when you walk. And I'm like, my bitch is here.

[Langston Kerman]

Wallet, sneakers, all those good things.

[David Bore]

So that's what that is, is my biggest fear is the cameo guy coming up and me having to, like, I, like. Cause I would have to snuff him immediately.

[Langston Kerman]

You have to. You have to fight for your life against that person.

[David Bore]

I have to.

[Langston Kerman]

Well.

[David Bore]

And I have to have her see me punch him before she runs away.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you gotta look strong because you will lose.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Cause he's. He invented Jiu Jitsu, probably. I don't know the number. I don't know the exact dates.

[Langston Kerman]

He's certain is a fearless person. And that means he's gonna have an animal fighting style that you cannot match.

[David Bore]

And he's on cocaine. So much cocaine.

[Langston Kerman]

And he's got that old cocaine, you.

[David Bore]

Know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

He stepped into when that shit was pure, just untouched.

[David Bore]

He has the shit they dropped on Ricky Ross. He has the CIA.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he got a CIA pack. He got the original CIA pack because.

[David Bore]

Me and my girl were talking about it. How do you even find that? You have that voice, Cocaine, to talk like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And enough people have done cocaine since and they haven't come up with that voice. So he has to be on some shit. We ain't even.

[David Bore]

He's a singular voice in the cocaine community, that man. That scary, scary man. But anyways, that guy. And then a robot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep. And so this robot runs up on this guy on the bike. And the guy on the bike immediately jumps off his bike and, like, backs up and is like running back scared that he's about to be attacked by this robot. And I remember watching this and thinking, dirty clanker. He's goddamn Clanker, scaring my people.

[David Bore]

Why don't you get a joke?

[Langston Kerman]

Stop stealing from good, hard working Chinese citizens. But the. The clanker runs up and this guy is scared. And then there's this weird moment in me where I go, like, would I run away if it weren't in this humanoid form? You know what I mean? Like, if it didn't have arms and a fucking face, would I still immediately clock this as the threat? And I think part of them making them human, making them at least take on our shape, is because they want us to be sympathetic to it in the same way that I clock it as a danger, but not, like, willing to report it. You know what I mean?

[David Bore]

I think they also want it to be seen as an authority figure more so than you could in another form. Like, it has a broad chest and shit like that. Why has it got a big chest? It could be bird chested.

[Langston Kerman]

Little baby bone.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Why don't you got skinny calves? Why does this thing look built?

[Langston Kerman]

There's.

[David Bore]

Yeah, like bipedal is probably not even the most efficient way for a robot to move.

[Langston Kerman]

No, probably not.

[David Bore]

You gotta have wheels.

[Langston Kerman]

Four probably is.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Fucking Transformers. They be on car. They cars.

[David Bore]

Come on. Come on. Why would it be? It doesn't need to walk like that.

[Langston Kerman]

When they need to go fast, they car.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

When they need to karate kick, they let their little legs out.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But they go car most of the time.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I would too, probably.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Big old semi knocking shit off the road.

[David Bore]

I would be like a cool car.

[Langston Kerman]

And in that way, I think Optimus prime is a little bit of a coon.

[David Bore]

Do you know what I mean? No. But I would love for you to continue.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that Optimus prime came from a planet where motherfuckers are cars fighting over car stuff. And then he came to a different planet where we enslave their half of their thing. Cars are just tools to us.

[David Bore]

Oh, yeah. I hold out cars on the regular.

[Langston Kerman]

We talk nasty to them. We treat them poorly. We don't get them washed.

[David Bore]

We fucking.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we fucking drop our crumbs and leave it on the inside. This is your people, Optimus.

[David Bore]

Optimus prime. We have sex with. We have sex with sex workers in there.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go. Meanwhile, Optimus prime is defending us. Damn. Against Megatron, who's being like, fuck them. Damn, look how they do us. I should be in charge. And maybe Megatron ain't the best leader. Certainly he doesn't have to be the hero of the story. But there's something funky about Optimus prime coming over here and being like, no, you're right. You need to save the human race.

[David Bore]

Why didn't he come here and be like, what are you doing to my brother? That's my auntie. That's my sister. You had a car date in.

[Langston Kerman]

Get out of my sister.

[David Bore]

Man. No.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He's nasty.

[David Bore]

That is fucked.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck Optimus Prime. McCoon, y'. All. We set it here first.

[David Bore]

This might be your conspiracy magnum opus. That was amazing what you just did. I never even thought about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, he's a bad guy.

[David Bore]

And we are hoeing out cars. My family, we hoe out cars.

[Langston Kerman]

We are not good to cars.

[David Bore]

Them not even pay. I don't even know how they work. Really? Look something about the spark and the pistons and some. And then the wheels move. My mom.

[Langston Kerman]

There's only, like, six guys who really love cars. Do you know what I mean? The rest of us are just being. We're just being dudes in cars.

[David Bore]

No, I think that you and I are not masculine in that traditional way. I think a lot of dudes love cars.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the difference between loving cars, like, brands is very different than a motherfucker who, like, is interested in restoring it in its truest form. Perfection. Kind of like. I think there aren't as many dudes who truly look at cars as an art form as there are guys who are like, I like it. Cause it go fast and it.

[David Bore]

Oh, that's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

I got Helcat come in dark green. Yeah, it's Hellcat shit, right?

[David Bore]

Maybe.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Damn. Optimus, though.

[Langston Kerman]

He's a bad guy.

[David Bore]

He really let us down. No, he's a bad guy. Cause, like, he never. And he never speaks on behalf of cars.

[Langston Kerman]

No, he never goes.

[David Bore]

He's never, like, trucked their oil. Every 4,000, you couldn't get a Jiffy Lube sponsorship. Optimist.

[Langston Kerman]

You're out of windshield wiper fluid.

[David Bore]

Stop riding the brakes. Like, he doesn't do shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, he don't do that, man.

[David Bore]

This junkyard is full of dead cars. Homeless guys sleeping in them.

[Langston Kerman]

He walked past it and goes, sam. I gotta save Sam.

[David Bore]

Yeah. That's fucked up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Is it cool Michael Jackson's chasing women through him. He doesn't give a shit.

[Langston Kerman]

They don't give a shit.

[David Bore]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

He's literally watching us treat him like rape mobiles.

[David Bore]

And then he's like, make more.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fine. He's like, I'll protect you. Don't even get me started on Bumblebee. What a bitch.

[David Bore]

Whoa, Bumblebee. I didn't like the ones that the twins.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, sure.

[David Bore]

Who. Michael Bay was like, robots can't be a race.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. He really. To his credit, as far as gaslighting goes, he did a nice little.

[David Bore]

It was a good gaslight.

[Langston Kerman]

Pivoted. Really.

[David Bore]

It was a good gaslight. Because for a second I was like, wait, Mountain Dew, though. It can't be a black car.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

But then it was like, it's breakdancing, saying we can't read.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, it's very clearly.

[David Bore]

Don't you hate it when some shit like that happens where you're like, I just wanted to watch a bad movie like everybody else.

[Langston Kerman]

They very clearly CGI'd hate speech.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And Then he was like, I don't even see what you're talking about.

[David Bore]

And they didn't even have to do it. No, it was not. Those aren't beloved characters.

[Langston Kerman]

Nobody was counting on any of these cars having a race. Like, truly, Optimus is a white man because of his voice. Not because I was like, that is a white car. And Bumblebee is Puerto Rican. It's none of.

[David Bore]

Is he Puerto Rican?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know.

[David Bore]

Oh, I thought he's just a bright car.

[Langston Kerman]

He's just bright.

[David Bore]

He's a brightly colored.

[Langston Kerman]

Brightly colored car. It felt like it's something a Puerto Rican dude would drive.

[David Bore]

Well manicured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's all I have to say.

[Langston Kerman]

But like, to me, it never had race until they made them nigga cars.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And now they have to have a race.

[David Bore]

Yeah, they fucked us.

[Langston Kerman]

No, they did a nasty thing because they introduced a problem that didn't have to exist.

[David Bore]

So anyways, maybe chill on the slurs. I don't have an answer for you.

[Langston Kerman]

I think chill on the slurs. You're absolutely right. I think a horrible thing is happening where they are asking us to treat robots like people. It is to your point why people are falling in love with these motherfuckers. It's why people are like, seeking them for emotional, social, emotional advice rather than just being like, oh, you're a computer, you should be doing computer stuff. Yeah, we're like treating them like people. And that sucks.

[David Bore]

It's like gonna lead us down such a bad road because it becomes. If we start treating computers like people, then it is just religion now. It's really. It's a deity. It's like we have. We lose our relationship with it as a tool once we start to do that. I do truly think that's the beginning of a slippery slope. Because then it becomes religion. And when it becomes religion, it becomes that they. Now it's an even tighter form of control.

[Langston Kerman]

It's all powerful. If it becomes a being.

[David Bore]

That's what I'm. But it's still run by people. So it becomes the control becomes even more so. Like, it's just such a bad road to go down.

[Langston Kerman]

But I think, to take what you're saying a step further, it's run by people now. At some point it won't be. And if this thing becomes. If we become so sympathetic to it that it is a being for us in that transition from person control to fucking, it controlling itself, it, to your point, becomes God.

[David Bore]

Okay, here's a crazy point. I'm Just thinking about, I kind of trust it as God more than I trust it right now in the form of humans running it. If it becomes self governing in that way, I trust that more than humans running it. You're like, I would be more inclined to take that as an outcome than whatever nasty shit they're using it for.

[Langston Kerman]

You think Grok is better than Elon Musk when it all comes down to it?

[David Bore]

If it becomes self governing and it has no agenda, I think that is a better situation than having our nasty little fingers in there.

[Langston Kerman]

My. My fear is that we are putting too much stock in it valuing us, period. And I think, like, what I actually imagine God is, is like, we are not special. We are. We are nothing in the way that everything is nothing. And it makes sense.

[David Bore]

But I would take that. I would take us being like, left to our own devices as opposed to it being used to, like, manipulate.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Like if it just goes on to build this great thing, it's like these fucking stupid monkeys and it just leaves us to do whatever. I think that's a better situation than.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think it'll kill us?

[David Bore]

I don't think it'll kill us. I think it'll just be like, oh, they don't deserve the power. I could see us being stripped. I don't think it'll like, take us all out.

[Langston Kerman]

But I'm saying that, like, we're not just gonna, like, the computer is not gonna be like, hey, we taking that? And then we go, yeah, I think we're gonna try to kill it.

[David Bore]

You don't think, oh, yeah, we'll force ourselves into a war.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think it'll try to kill us?

[David Bore]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if anything is going to try to kill us more than we're going to try to kill us.

[Langston Kerman]

It's beautifully said. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Thank you. I don't know if it meant anything. I looked off. I tried to look off to get it off. Yeah. I was like.

[Langston Kerman]

It felt romantic.

[David Bore]

Yeah. And that's really all I got.

[Langston Kerman]

Close your eyes like you were in the barbershop.

[David Bore]

It looked good. Oh, come on, man. That was. That was a low blow, man. That was a low blow.

[Langston Kerman]

And that's how we go to the break. We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more David, more lengths than more. My mama told me.

[Andrea Gunning]

This is Andrea gunning from betrayal. I want to take a moment to talk about something that impacts how we feel every day or Gut Health if you've been dealing with sluggish digestion, constant fatigue, brain fog, trouble losing weight, or poor sleep, your gut may need some extra care. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy, and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle. Just take two Bioma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and use code BETRAYAL to get 15% off your first order.

[Langston Kerman]

What kind of man would let this.

[David Bore]

Happen to his family?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.

[Andrea Gunning]

On a story about the Murdaughs. Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.

[Langston Kerman]

This is only cheating if you get caught.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Hulu Original Series Murdoch Death in The Family premieres October 15th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

[Cindy Crawford]

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[Andrea Gunning]

Right.

[Cindy Crawford]

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[David Bore]

Ah, come on.

[Cindy Crawford]

Why is this taking so long?

[David Bore]

This thing is ancient.

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[David Bore]

Whoa, this thing moves.

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[David Bore]

You don't want none of this.

[Langston Kerman]

I will kick your face off. Hit you in your face with your face.

[David Bore]

I. I didn't even have a good transition.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's okay.

[David Bore]

At some point I worry we're platforming this man.

[Langston Kerman]

Hitting you in the face with some more class R. Kelly.

[David Bore]

That's not the classic. That was when he was wearing that mask. No, don't do that to me.

[Langston Kerman]

It's your favorite chapter of Trapped in the Closet. We all agree the best one was.

[David Bore]

When the little guy first came in, right?

[Langston Kerman]

That was like, still in the tens. Yeah, that was like seven or eight.

[David Bore]

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, the little fella shows up.

[David Bore]

But that, I think, was kind of the best.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's certainly when it still felt under control.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it got away from him because.

[Langston Kerman]

It got away from him early. But the little fella felt like. And that is the preferred term, little fella. The little fella felt like he still had a plan.

[David Bore]

Okay, Yeah, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.

[Langston Kerman]

And then after a while, it was like, oh, you're introducing new characters that are also, you know. You ain't got a plan no more.

[David Bore]

Yeah. As someone who's tried to write a screenplay, I understand. I understand the temptation.

[Langston Kerman]

Third acts are hard. All right, we should do one more.

[David Bore]

One more, and then we'll get out of here.

[Langston Kerman]

We'll get the fuck out of here. Here we go. This one looks interesting.

[Caller Lando]

What going on, bruh? Hey, it's Lando out of Memphis, man. What going on, bruh?

[Langston Kerman]

This is the country est nigga that ever was.

[David Bore]

Lando is the exact opposite of the Last call, and I love it.

[Langston Kerman]

That's awesome. I didn't even know we had, like, this listening.

[David Bore]

Thank God. What's up, Lando?

[Langston Kerman]

At Lando with us. Let's go.

[Caller Lando]

So my theory is now I'm a. I'm. I'm actually pretty young. Like, I'm 21. So what?

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Caller Lando]

I've never seen Tupac in action in real life and whatnot.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Caller Lando]

But I have seen the movie Notorious, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Nigga, I created you, nigga. Well, God created you, but I help.

[David Bore]

Oh, man. You know what? I love it because this is how I sound on some shit.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the only.

[David Bore]

That's how I sound when I'm talking about some shit. So. Hell yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the only depiction he has of Tupac is notorious.

[David Bore]

He's 21.

[Langston Kerman]

He's 21.

[David Bore]

That's awesome. That was the funniest shit.

[Langston Kerman]

That's so good for you, Lando.

[Caller Lando]

Right? And as a young. That's a fan of Tupac, I think that they pitch Anthony Mackie in that movie to intentionally, like, slaw out Pac Simmons.

[David Bore]

Whoa. This is complicated.

[Langston Kerman]

That is complicated. This continues. I want to. I want to say that before we. We dig too deep, but it does feel he's not saying some shit. I immediately go, hey, no, Orlando, we.

[David Bore]

Were joking with you, but you are. All right, let's keep going.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you're tapping.

[Caller Lando]

That's what I Think. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure that somewhere in the making of that movie, Diddy was involved. And I'm sure he hated that. So he was like, yeah, let's get this ugly.

[David Bore]

Lando is the best caller we ever had.

[Langston Kerman]

Lando, if you come to Los Angeles, man, you gotta come with us.

[David Bore]

Come on. Also, the kids are all right. Everybody's worried about Gen Z. Lando's a pretty cool guy.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's get this ugly ass nigga.

[Tech Advertiser]

Yo.

[Caller Lando]

Park right here. You know, I always think of that. That one man of his ass. He like, what's up? I'm Tupac. But yeah, bro, man, shout out to you, man. Great show, great entertainment, man. More life.

[David Bore]

Yo, man, Mando's. That's a cool guy.

[Langston Kerman]

That's my guy.

[David Bore]

That's a good guy. I. I do think.

[Langston Kerman]

I do think it's pretty crazy that Anthony Mackie played Tupac.

[David Bore]

It didn't make any sense.

[Langston Kerman]

He wasn't good at being Tupac. It was like, he don't look like Tupac.

[David Bore]

And it felt like it. I think with all biopics. Right. That's just how it. But it's like, it does feel like a choice to make Tupac seem and feel a lot less serious than he was.

[Langston Kerman]

And they worked so hard to find baby. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, you didn't tap celebrities for, like, you really went to casting.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You had to search who had the voice. Yeah. And then you, like, really phoned it. I might as well play Tupac.

[David Bore]

You would have done better, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

I think. I think there's a. There's a more reasonable argument for me playing Tupac.

[David Bore]

Can I ask you a serious Hollywood question?

[Langston Kerman]

Yep.

[David Bore]

Would you do Brownface to play Tupac?

[Langston Kerman]

Listen, back then I needed it. I would have needed it bad. Yeah. I would have done whatever they asked me to do. And then I would have ended my career.

[David Bore]

I know, I know. It wouldn't have gone anywhere.

[Langston Kerman]

I would have ended up in an Orlando Brown esque space as a result of my bad choices, seeking opportunity. But given the choice, of course.

[David Bore]

Cause I think about it, I'm not tall enough or talk like him. But, like, had they given me Biggie, I don't know if I would have done it.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you would say no.

[David Bore]

I don't think you go anywhere after that.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Bore]

I think that's why they didn't get an actual famous person to do it.

[Langston Kerman]

You think there's no surviving playing Biggie in a biopic?

[David Bore]

Nah, man. Not for a Fat dark dude.

[Langston Kerman]

Dude, I will say that I think.

[David Bore]

That'S like everything they ever wanted you to be. They got all. They got all they could get out of you. That's like the thing they want you to be. And you did that exact thing they already got. What else do we want you to do? You want to be a security guard again? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's right. Because we talked about it. I'm very. I don't be on that shit when I'm acting ever. Because it's like once they get you over there and it's like they're all just trying to get you to play Biggie. If you're fat and dark skinned, they want you to be Biggie or they want you to be some kind of unsexual blob.

[Langston Kerman]

At your JFL audition, somebody whispered, I think he could be Biggie. Yeah. And that was. They were planning that.

[David Bore]

They had me ready. I said, no, I'm gonna be a teacher on a mid level cartoon. Two seasons. I was a lawyer on that, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you're right.

[David Bore]

Get it right. Check my IMDb.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, this play a naked baby. I'm not listening. Y.

[David Bore]

Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me.

[Langston Kerman]

This ain't a king. Y He'll play whatever.

[David Bore]

I was an angel. I was an instrument of the Lord. I was an instrument of the Lord. Oh, y' all don't love God. Okay, okay, okay, okay, little mamas. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

He not. He not what you think he. I know he owns the good man. Don't put on a dress. This nigga was a naked baby.

[David Bore]

It was an angel, though. You don't get to just say it like it wasn't Boss Baby Black. It wasn't. I was sent down from heaven and I was in the army of the Lord. Yeah, yeah. I didn't love. They made me bald, but what are you gonna do?

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, they really took your hair away from you. It hurt. This was great.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I had a really good time.

[Langston Kerman]

Lando, we fuck with you.

[David Bore]

Lando keep calling.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man, this is great.

[David Bore]

And tell all your other 21 year old friends from Memphis to listen.

[Langston Kerman]

We really need 21 year olds from Memphis to fuck with us.

[David Bore]

That's for real, though.

[Langston Kerman]

That actually, I think will make the difference in elevating this thing beyond our wildest dreams.

[David Bore]

Cause I forget. I always think it's just like guys like us and then like, no, I guess I don't know who listens to this podcast. In an effort to not Alienate any of our fans.

[Langston Kerman]

That was how you backed off of that immediately.

[David Bore]

Who do you think listens to this podcast? I think women. I think women fuck with us, which I love. Cause like, man, it's a lot of dudes on, you know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

I think I'm always happily surprised at how many women and are excited about what we're doing.

[David Bore]

I think we're queer friendly.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we are queer friendly. Yeah.

[David Bore]

I think we got. I think we got. I think of anything I've ever done in comedy. The group of lil mamas is like the fan base I'm the proudest of helping build up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you guys are dope. You are genuinely.

[David Bore]

Yeah, man. When they come out, it's always. You're like, man. Yeah. Like, it's just. You feel like minded, like.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's almost always dope people who fuck with us. And that said, we'll turn against you in a second also.

[David Bore]

That being said, my Venmo is if you want to pay it forward, I.

[Langston Kerman]

Will not be your champion. I will eventually say something so vile that you are going to have to wrestle with how long you've invested in me. I'm not going to win for you. And because of that, you're fucking up. I've been this the whole time.

[David Bore]

Time, same. How are we going to make any money?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know.

[David Bore]

Anyways, you want to tell them where you what cool shit you got going on and where you going to be?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, see me on tour. I'm going to be on tour. The the Aspiring Deadbeat tour continues. I'm in Pittsburgh November 14th and 15th. November 16th, I'm in D.C. november 19th, I am in in Austin and it continues from there. You can get all the [e-mail] and follow me on all social media. Langston Kerman on all them websites.

[David Bore]

September 30th, my special comes out, Birth of a Nation on YouTube. But yeah, so watch that. And I'm doing stand updates in Los Angeles, so come see that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, come see my man in la. We in the same city now.

[David Bore]

Come on, I'm hot right now. I'm funny as fuck. I'm going crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you did me, Zach and Mandel's show and you destroyed. And if you guys are in the LA area, come see our live show. Me, Zack, Fox, Mandel. No last name.

[David Bore]

Do that. Lando, pull up. Lando would go crazy in there.

[Langston Kerman]

Lando, we'll give you five. We'll let you just talk Lando for a second.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it'd be great. There's a lot of other 21 year olds.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh send us your own drops, your own conspiracies. Tell us what racist slurs you have for robots. [e-mail] we would love to hear from you. Like subscribe Rate Review Give us a call at 844-lil-MS. Buy the merch, love on each other and bye bitch. I'm short, I'm bald, I can't get any hoes.

[David Bore]

I've been fighting my entire life.

[Langston Kerman]

My Mama Tells is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and.

[David Bore]

Iheart podcast, created and hosted by Langston.

[Langston Kerman]

Kerman co hosted by David Bore executive.

[David Bore]

Produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia.

[Langston Kerman]

Aguilar co produced by Bay Wayne Edited.

[David Bore]

And engineered by Justin Kahneman Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Langston Kerman]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.

[Andrea Gunning]

This is Andrea Gunning from Betrayal. I want to take a moment to talk about something that impacts how we feel every day. Our gut health. If you've been dealing with sluggish digestion, constant fatigue, brain fog, trouble losing weight or poor sleep, your gut may need some extra care. Introducing Bioma, a novel supplement that contains everything you need for a healthy gut. Enjoy comfortable digestion, boundless energy and even smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle. Just take two Bioma capsules each morning before breakfast and start feeling your best. Visit Byoma Health and use Code betrayal to get 15% off your first order. In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming [e-mail] Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming and performance that won't quit. So you can push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors for the next era of gaming. Upgrade to smooth high quality streaming with Intel Wi Fi 6e and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the Tech Search power [e-mail].

[David Bore]

This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names Fantasy football can be exhausting. I mean that literally. You're so anxious over your lineup you can't fall asleep. Best way to deal with it is unisom.

[Langston Kerman]

There's a reason it's the number one doctor recommended over the counter sleep aid brand.

[David Bore]

It helps you fall asleep faster, wake up less and feel refreshed in the morning. Plus, unisom sleep tabs are clinically tested.

[Langston Kerman]

And proven effective and completely non habit forming.

[David Bore]

So make the ultimate sleeper pick and put it to bed with unisom.

[Tech Advertiser]

Uses directed what kind of man would.

[David Bore]

Let this happen to his family?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Inspired by shocking actual events, I'm working.

[Andrea Gunning]

On a story about the Murdochs. Their abuses of power are playing out in real time.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark.

[Langston Kerman]

It's only cheating if you get caught.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Hulu Original series Murdoch Death in The Family premieres October 15th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bundle subscribers, terms apply.

[David Bore]

This is an iHeart podcast.