
Loading summary
Rico Nasty
This is an iHeart podcast.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Guaranteed Human.
IBM Ad Voice
So let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there and everywhere, but your AI can't use the data because it's here, there and everywhere? Seems like something's missing. Every business has unique data. IBM helps your AI access your data wherever it lives. To change how you do business, let's create Smile to Business IBM.
Starbucks Ad Voice
It's the season to come together over your holiday favorites at Starbucks. Warm up with a creamy caramel brulee latte, get festive with an iced gingerbread chai, or share a velvety peppermint mocha Together is the best place to be at Starbucks.
Pets Best Insurance Ad Voice
Protect your pet with insurance from Pets Best plans start from less than a dollar a day. Visit petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered in admin by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC or underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company for terms and conditions, visit www.petsbest.com. policy products are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company, Independence American Insurance Company or Ms. Transverse Insurance Company and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC. $1 day premium based on 2024 average new policyholder data for accident and illness plans. Pets Age 0 to 10 this is.
Sophie Cunningham
Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or osa, in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at. Don't sleep on OSA.com this information is provided by Lilly, A medicine company.
David
I have nothing to say about that meat stretching thing. In hindsight, it was a weird choice.
Rico Nasty
It was.
Langston Kerman
It was great.
Rico Nasty
Stretch that meat, though, y'. All. Make a wake. Make sure you wake up in the morning.
David
Stretch it.
Rico Nasty
Don't get a crank.
David
Get a slant board. You guys ever fuck with. I got a slant board.
Rico Nasty
What's that?
David
It's like a slanted board, but you just stand up. It like stretches out your calves and your quads and stuff like that. It's really good.
Langston Kerman
It's a slanted board.
David
I know.
Rico Nasty
I imagine being able to.
David
We're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's in the living room, I'm standing.
Langston Kerman
Up, just stretching his meat. Morning stretches like a goddamn pizza dough.
David
Watching the new Baby, you see my roller? The cat got my roller again.
Rico Nasty
Government growing babies, Microchips in your babies.
David
All koala be the ozone player owes me money. Marshy to venom, Turkey stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing. It's just one of them days that I want to be all alone. It's just one of them days. Don't take it personal. I just want to be all alone. You think I'm doing? Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Langston Kerman
Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.
David
Theories and we don't work to prove a God damn thing.
Langston Kerman
Fuck. Are we not helping?
David
We're the official sponsors of your backslide.
Langston Kerman
God damn. You were doing better before you listened to us.
David
Yo, it was gonna go good for you. You were gonna get the kids back.
Langston Kerman
You were in church. Come on.
David
Twice a week now you're on two episodes and look at you. God, you're in a parking lot right now, brother.
Langston Kerman
You would do better to put something in your vein.
David
Wipe your face.
Langston Kerman
You're sick.
Rico Nasty
You guys are sick.
David
It's a problem.
Langston Kerman
We should not.
Rico Nasty
You're infecting everyone.
David
Yeah, serious.
Langston Kerman
It's not good. We love it here. Frankly, we're surprised you would do this.
David
Yeah, you're really shloving it.
Rico Nasty
Why?
David
Because we. I'm talking about. I'm referencing men in parking lots.
Rico Nasty
Well, yeah.
Langston Kerman
You'Re classy.
Rico Nasty
The lot lizards.
David
Oh, I wasn't. I think sex. Work is work.
Rico Nasty
Do you have a cp? Cpn. What is that?
David
CPAP machine. What you need?
Rico Nasty
Cdl.
David
Cdl. I don't need. Baby, I don't have a DL.
Rico Nasty
Baby, I don't have a DL. I got a cow.
David
California State id.
Rico Nasty
You better get the real one. I know.
David
Yeah, I'm trying to get.
Langston Kerman
You don't have the real one.
Rico Nasty
They're gonna probe. Everybody doesn't have the real one.
David
I don't even have a state id. I'd be using my passport card.
Rico Nasty
No, stop.
Langston Kerman
Come on, man.
David
Yeah, it's a problem.
Langston Kerman
If you want to be able to keep this going, we gotta.
Rico Nasty
I don't have a real ID either.
David
Okay?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I don't. Y' all are being crazy.
David
How long have you had a real ID for?
Langston Kerman
The whole time. The second it was available.
David
I said crazy like, come on, man.
Langston Kerman
Honestly, what I.
David
He said, oh, I need to do my thing now.
Rico Nasty
Right now.
Langston Kerman
What I got was lucky because I moved to LA at the exact time that they started making that change. And so, like, I had to get a new id and then it just. Mine was expiring. I needed one. It worked out perfectly.
Rico Nasty
When did you guys get your driver's car?
David
Well, that's how they get you.
Langston Kerman
That was one of them drops that you gotta be aware of.
Rico Nasty
Who is that? It sounded like he came from behind the curtain. I said how.
David
It was Dr. Phil.
Langston Kerman
That's not Dr. Phil.
David
Is that not Dr. Phil?
Langston Kerman
No, that's how they get you. That's Tom Hanks.
David
So that's how they get you. Oh, Black Jeopardy.
Langston Kerman
On black Jeopardy. That's right.
Rico Nasty
Black Jeopardy.
Langston Kerman
SNL skit.
David
The best Jeopardy in the land.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, I need to watch that. Is that else? Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Rico Nasty
I need to be cultured.
David
It's our pilot. We're trying to write.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Our guest today. I think we should just.
David
Oh, yeah. Let's just get into it. I was trying to think of one. I didn't really have one, other than I think Kool Aid Jammers was kind of a conspiracy. Oh, why would they send us if it's still Kool Aid? Why would they package it and make it more expensive? It seemed like a. It seemed like a drink for the working class, and then for some reason, they made it more expensive.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you're saying that Kool Aid was for the people.
David
It was affordable, and then they found.
Langston Kerman
A way to make it champagne.
David
Now the jammers. Now everybody can't have a Jammer.
Langston Kerman
That's true.
David
Think about how much Kool Aid Jammer you were allowed to drink versus how.
Rico Nasty
Much Kool Aid they sold out. Huggies. That's for real. Auspicious.
David
Oh, the little Huggies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
I'm still drinking on Huggies. Blue and green only. I don't give a fuck.
David
Tin foil, tops, 5G. You're not worried about it?
Rico Nasty
Ballin bitches up there in the corner of the couch. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
How do you feel afterwards? You don't feel crazy?
Rico Nasty
My teeth be real gritty, but it gave you a certain type of edge, you know what I mean? Like something about them Huggies. It just reminds you of that.
David
It makes you strong. It's like going out without a tea. You're strong now.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. You're strong.
David
Yeah, I love doing that.
Rico Nasty
I love leaving the house with nothing but my phone.
David
Yo, this is. It's like we're twins. I didn't have legal ID for like, four years.
Rico Nasty
One time I just got my driver's license.
David
Let's go. I'm getting mine. And everybody makes it seem like you're crazy.
Rico Nasty
You're actually lacking because if you would have got it through Covid. I got my licen through Covid. So the instructor couldn't even be in the car with me while I took my test. That is why there's so many bad drivers. Let's do a theory on that. Damn traffic has gotten horrible over the years because, hella people got their licenses.
David
Covid let everybody in because we were.
Rico Nasty
Like, bro, how the fuck. So you telling me not only can we not go nowhere, but now n can't drive? I had to learn how to drive. It was Covid. So how many other people had that idea?
David
I. You know what's crazy? I got a car during COVID still didn't get a license or. I came up on a car. Somebody died.
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. I literally. Oh, in the car?
David
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Rico Nasty
They died. They left you the car.
David
They left somebody else the car. That person was leaving California and was like, I don't really.
Rico Nasty
Wow, that's fucked up to give away a car somebody dad gave you. Yeah, the car had bad juju. You still got it.
Langston Kerman
This feels like I'm watching two people fall in love. This is so nice.
Rico Nasty
What's your sign?
David
Taurus. What's your sign? Taurus.
Langston Kerman
I'm a Taurus too.
Rico Nasty
When is your birthday? When is your birthday?
David
Cinco de Mayo.
Rico Nasty
My birthday is May 7th.
David
Nuh.
Sophie Cunningham
Wow.
Rico Nasty
I'm about to fucking rip this.
David
That's crazy. He's April 23rd.
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. No, you're not.
Langston Kerman
Yes, I am.
Rico Nasty
No, you're not.
Langston Kerman
Don't be nasty.
Rico Nasty
He's one of those fucking. He's not a major.
Langston Kerman
No, I'm better.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
I'm.
Langston Kerman
I'm the.
David
I'm the original. No, no, no.
Langston Kerman
Watch your mouth. Don't be like that.
Rico Nasty
You're like, I'm gonna do my. I.
David
Come on, we can be friends.
Rico Nasty
I get it.
Sophie Cunningham
Y' all in love.
Langston Kerman
But let me be a friend.
Rico Nasty
Be us, Torres. We real accidental. We don't have our IDs. That's how I knew you wasn't a mate.
Langston Kerman
I am a tourist.
David
He is a Taurus.
Langston Kerman
So my wife and I are both tourists.
Rico Nasty
What?
David
Because you guys have the same birth or. Like, it's really close, right?
Langston Kerman
Six days apart.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
What the hell? That's kind of crazy.
Langston Kerman
That's what I. I've always feared that that was going to be people's reaction, you know?
David
What's to your wife and you being.
Langston Kerman
Taurus together and, like, right next to each other.
Rico Nasty
I've been in, like, a constant loop because my mom birthday is three days after mine. So my whole life, any birthday money I got, I was like, let me.
David
Spend it on my mom for my birthday.
Rico Nasty
Oh, I gotta give my mom a little something.
David
That's sweet.
Rico Nasty
Can't forget my mom. She's kind of holding me at gunpoint.
David
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
No, I would never forget you, mama. No, no, no, no.
Rico Nasty
No parking bag out there.
Langston Kerman
I actually, when I think about my birthday, I think about children.
David
We should just connect them.
Rico Nasty
No? And we did. And we did.
David
You can't have birth.
Rico Nasty
That's not. I did.
David
You could do it with a joint.
Rico Nasty
Birthday trip with my mother. I have gone to Hawaii. I have no siblings.
David
Damn. It's not a joint. I think it's just a birthday trip. Like, you don't even have to say joint if you don't have a church.
Rico Nasty
That's so funny. Right? I turned 23. Didn't take Homegirls or nothing. Just took my mom.
Langston Kerman
Is it fun?
David
What big Island? What island did you go to?
Rico Nasty
Just, like, Honolulu. My mom was turning 50.
David
Okay.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, okay.
Langston Kerman
Damn. So you have to prioritize her birthdays because 23 isn't as groundbreaking.
Rico Nasty
And the older you get, the more it's like, oh, damn, your mom's only gonna turn 50 once. And, like, this is the only time you're really, like, able to do anything for a birthday like that. Cause when she was like, 30, I'm like, fucking, yeah.
David
Asking for t. Shit.
Langston Kerman
You're in the way.
Rico Nasty
She trying to go out to the club. I'm like, where are you going?
David
That's why I'm glad I have a young mom, though. We already hit enough milestones now. 60 is like, whatever.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
I remember 30 was a big one in the house, Right?
Rico Nasty
Holy shit.
Langston Kerman
That's when she busted out the wine coolers.
David
She was like, 19. We're like. We're like 19 years apart. Wow. Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. My son is. Well, I had him at 19.
David
Okay. So he remembers 30. It's gonna. It's gonna be tough to get some shit out of us.
Rico Nasty
He remembers 25.
David
Whoa.
Rico Nasty
And, like, he brings that version of me up all the time. And I was like, I'm not like that. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
We talk about it all because my mom was 20 when she had me. And I do think that in your mind, you're like, you stopped at that age for me. I will always see my mother as some version of a 20 year old.
Rico Nasty
Of a 20 year old. Wow.
Langston Kerman
Because that is how I met her.
Rico Nasty
Aww.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
So he'll always see me. Like a. Yeah. Aw. I love that for him.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I love that for him.
Rico Nasty
Because I guess it's like having a sibling.
David
It's closer. Because it's closer. I think it's closer than you.
Langston Kerman
Sounds like you're not negotiating on offering something else.
Rico Nasty
I wish I had siblings, though. I think about that all the time.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
I feel like I was born alone. And I think people that are like, only children are, like, really fucking weird.
Langston Kerman
Mm.
David
Well, I think it's because you got to just be in the house alone. Weird. By yourself with no restrictor place.
Rico Nasty
Exactly. There was no one. Like, hey, that's weird.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Until you got older and you went around people, they're like, what?
David
Or you went to, like, a sleepover. What's wrong with you? What are you.
Langston Kerman
Bro, why are you doing that?
David
Yeah. And you're like, no, I pee in the sink with nobody's home.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I remember one of the. One of the worst. One of the worst whoopings I ever got in my life was because I tried to pee in my Super Soaker because I wanted to shoot it in the toilet.
David
You had good comedic instincts, even as a boy, I'll tell you that.
Langston Kerman
Because I didn't want to shoot at people. I'm not crazy. I just wanted to pee in the Super Soaker at the top so that I could then shoot. Shoot into the toilet. But I didn't have any siblings at that point.
Rico Nasty
I'm so happy that that is not in the trajectory of things I've gone through. Cause I swear to God, like, throw the whole kid away.
David
It's a little boring.
Rico Nasty
So you had a pissy Super Soaker sitting in the middle of the bathroom.
Langston Kerman
It's worse.
Rico Nasty
How did your mother find.
Langston Kerman
I was trying to pee into the Super Soaker and missed and then was just the whole time chasing an impossible hole.
David
Did she catch you trying to pee in?
Langston Kerman
No, I peed so much over the floor that I didn't know how to reason with it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I didn't know how to.
David
Like, just one second, you were like, oh, my God. I was like, oh. Oh, I fucked up. I fucked up. Okay, all right, all right.
Langston Kerman
Let's just all talk about what we did.
Rico Nasty
What is. Okay, wait. What is, like, the craziest thing that happened to you as a kid? Can I, like, like, on some. Like, just like. It's some crazy ass shit. They still tease you about it still to this day? Cause I had some crazy shit happening the stuff.
David
I feel like yours is gonna be different than mine.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, you start.
David
Yeah. You leading us.
Langston Kerman
Don't make us do this.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
Okay. We'll spill some tea.
Langston Kerman
Okay. I'm excited.
Rico Nasty
I went to the beach. Which beach? Colonial beach in Virginia.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Rico Nasty
Right. Anybody that knows this beach is about to be like, holy fucking shit, I got in the water.
Langston Kerman
Whoa. This is not good water, I assume.
Rico Nasty
Well, it's like 2005.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Rico Nasty
It's not the best.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
But it's not as bad as it is now. But it's not the best.
David
I was trying to figure out what the year had to do with it.
Langston Kerman
Water used to be good in 2000.
David
Better outside. I was like, go on. But I mean, no.
Rico Nasty
Like, water, literally. Yeah. I feel like it's not worse.
Langston Kerman
I think it's getting worse.
Rico Nasty
It's more polluted.
David
Yeah, probably.
Rico Nasty
But, I mean, that was only 20 years ago, right? Well, shit changes. I'm standing tall on the water.
David
I don't give a fuck.
Rico Nasty
The water in 2005 is better than the water from today.
Langston Kerman
You were drinking it. You were having fun back then.
Rico Nasty
I was in the water. I didn't care about bacteria or anything. I was a child. I had to be about 7 or 8. I got home, my ass was itching.
David
Oh, no.
Rico Nasty
Right? I was like, huh, that's weird. I look at my ass in the mirror, there's a boil.
David
Oh, no. Oh, shit.
Langston Kerman
Well, this is bad.
David
So just like, you right after the.
Rico Nasty
Afternoon, like, it was literally like two days after, and I called my mom in the bathroom. I said, mom, there's something on my butt. My mom was like, what the fuck?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, let me see.
Rico Nasty
I showed my mom what was on my butt. And I hate when parents do this. She gonna call my goddamn aunt into the. Look at this. I said, what the fuck you call me?
David
What the fuck? She got to see my butt.
Langston Kerman
This was a private conversation.
David
You could.
Rico Nasty
You did this on your own.
Langston Kerman
I called you in here.
David
I trust you.
Rico Nasty
Next thing you know, they playing. God damn. They playing an operation on me.
David
No.
Rico Nasty
I'm in the goddamn bathroom. They're popping the boil. My aunt is holding me down. My mom is popping it. My cousins is laughing. And that's me. That's where I come from.
Langston Kerman
And they will always remember.
Rico Nasty
I have a rough day. That's the version of myself that I see. I say, wow.
David
Getting a boil pop. That's not so crazy.
Sophie Cunningham
Yes, it is.
Rico Nasty
In front of your whole family.
Langston Kerman
In front of your whole family. What the fuck? It's Not. That's not. That's not great.
Rico Nasty
That's crazy. Your boy booty for, like, 10 years.
David
Yeah, that's hard. That's hard.
Langston Kerman
If they won't stop bringing it up, you have to reach a point where you either accept that as who you are or you create enemies out of your entire bloodline. Like, you have to make a choice of, like, either I will be Boyle Booty.
Rico Nasty
I had to own it. Hence the nasty in my name. I knew that they would try to sell the story someday. Now I'm living my truth and I.
Sophie Cunningham
Get to speak about it.
Rico Nasty
And I'm like, that's why they're like, Ms. Nasty. Like, they get it. My family, they're like, oh, she's nasty. It makes sense to them that everyone else, obviously. They sexualize you.
Langston Kerman
This is like a beautiful.
Rico Nasty
Really?
David
Yeah, it's Nasty. Booty Boiling.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that's the long version of her name.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Rico Nasty Booty Boil.
David
Okay, okay.
Rico Nasty
Rico Nasty Bubble butt. Booty boil. Bubble Booty boil. Bubble Booty Boil, I guess. Drop that shit. Drop that shit. You wanted to.
David
Let's go.
Rico Nasty
Pop my butt. Pop, pop my butt. Pop my butt. Pop. Pop my butt. Do you know what pop my butt meant to Harriet Tubman? Do you know what that meant? It meant a whip.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that's right. And we all agree on that.
Rico Nasty
Have y' all ever twerk?
Langston Kerman
Not with.
David
Not in a way that. Yeah, not. Not in a way that I would really.
Langston Kerman
I've never tried.
David
Call it that.
Rico Nasty
You should.
David
I've tried a lot of dances in the house alone.
Langston Kerman
Do you think that's the lesson of what Ayanla wanted her to learn was to go out there?
David
But.
Rico Nasty
Well, see, the deeper question that needs to be asked here is, you know, do you think that's what Harriet Tubman was doing? But what were y' all doing? What were the men doing?
David
You weren't popping your butts on the underground Railroad.
Rico Nasty
You weren't popping any. You weren't popping shit.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Wow.
Rico Nasty
You were being led by a woman. So now you have the opportunity to pop your butt.
David
I'm not ashamed of being led by a woman.
Langston Kerman
Of course.
Rico Nasty
But now you have the option.
David
She knew what freedom was.
Langston Kerman
I think she's saying maybe Harriet Tubman wanted to see a little ass popping.
David
Oh.
Langston Kerman
Oh.
David
Like, for her troubles.
Langston Kerman
And if we ain't gonna lead, we might as well give her what she like.
Rico Nasty
If you're not gonna. I'd like to think people then just follow full fledged. See what the girls are doing. So I just don't understand why men have never went in their rooms.
David
And no, I'm telling you, I put.
Rico Nasty
On sexy red and shake it.
Langston Kerman
I don't know that what sexy red elicits for you.
Rico Nasty
What do y' all do to feel good?
Langston Kerman
That's the thing.
Rico Nasty
Like, you need to, like, what's your vibes like? What do you like?
Langston Kerman
I don't really do that move, but I do think the sentiment exists. It just ain't right there.
David
What do I do to feel good? That's a good question.
Rico Nasty
That is the problem with men today.
Langston Kerman
Nah, I be turning Dijon up loud.
David
Yeah, he likes Dijon. I walk the dog.
Langston Kerman
You know what I mean?
David
I be walking the dog all fast.
Langston Kerman
While trying to make all the noises he makes.
Rico Nasty
You're funny.
David
Okay, just, me and the dog walk really, really fast. Real aggressive. We just walk so fast. We're not thinking about my dad anymore. I'm your D.
Langston Kerman
You break the speed force. Nah, I don't need a daddy now. I can be in whatever time I want.
Rico Nasty
I'm the fastest boy on the block.
Langston Kerman
The dog just dragging.
Rico Nasty
Please. Holy shit. You're killing me, man.
David
Sometimes I do be getting mad, though. If we're walking all fast and she stops to poop, I get kind of mad.
Langston Kerman
I do get that.
David
You know what I mean? Because we're like. We're like on pace. Like, we're. Because we got the apple watch on and we know what the average mile time is, and we're moving. Stella. We got it. And then that's always when she wants to go poop.
Rico Nasty
Stella, Frenchie.
David
No, standard poodle.
Rico Nasty
Oh, shit.
David
Big black dog.
Rico Nasty
What the hell?
David
Sweetheart, Sweetheart. Kind of. Kind of weird.
Rico Nasty
She's weird.
Langston Kerman
She shows her ass a lot. She pops her butt a lot.
David
She pops her butt. She backs. She. She's got, like a weird thing where she backs into room. Yeah. I don't really know, man. It's like she gets all stressed, and then she'll, like, back.
Rico Nasty
She'll be like.
David
But she, like, looks like. She's like, oh, my God.
Langston Kerman
She introduced herself via her butt. She'll, like, back into here.
David
We got, like a freak farm. We got a real freak farming.
Langston Kerman
Because that's how I met her asshole first.
David
Yeah, she came.
Rico Nasty
She just came and just said, hey, man.
David
But then we also have a hairless cat. It's weird in there.
Rico Nasty
Okay. I'm fucking with the vibes. That's some real tourist shit. I mean, I have a dog and I have a cat. I have a friend. She didn't Have a cat and I had a friend and I had a spider.
David
You had a frog snake?
Rico Nasty
I had a frog. I had two frogs. No, just regular green tree frogs.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David
Oh, that's kind of cool, though.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I had a tarantula growing up.
Rico Nasty
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
It get a little weird out here.
Langston Kerman
I got it for $10 at a garage sale.
Rico Nasty
Whoa. That's cool as fuck.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it was cool.
David
Garage spider. Yeah. We don't even know if it was a tarantula.
Rico Nasty
It was at all. That's cool, though.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I used to take it to school.
Rico Nasty
Your mom let you buy that?
Langston Kerman
My dad, yeah.
Rico Nasty
Oh, that's cool.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, my. My parents divorced early and they knew. And I didn't have siblings for a long time, so they knew they had to, like, entertain me.
David
So I said, just let them get no restrictor plate. What animal would you have? If you could have any animal?
Langston Kerman
I want one of them potbelly pigs, but the little bitty ones. But I now understand that they aren't ever just little bitty ones. They eventually grow into big ass pigs. So it is. It's a fictional ant.
David
They're good pets in that they're very smart. Yeah, they're like really, really smart.
Rico Nasty
What about you? Any animal.
David
It's hard because I would love to tame the sea.
Rico Nasty
I know. I was thinking shark.
David
Yeah. Or something like that.
Rico Nasty
Like, imagine you walk into the person's house and they have a shark.
David
Or like an orca whale. Like what killer? Like what free Willy should have been. Oh.
Langston Kerman
Like a true bond.
David
Holy shit. Where are you putting me? Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what's happening in my head. Like, okay, here's what's happening in my head. I ride my bike to the dock, right? Yeah. And then I put my bike over here. And then I just start running up the dock. And people are like, what's this guy doing? He's running up the dock. And I jump off the edge. And as I jump off the edge, he comes and scoops me. And then we go on an adventure.
Langston Kerman
Whoa.
David
That'd be pretty cool.
Langston Kerman
I keep picturing that Sylvester Stallone, this meme. But it's you and a fish, but.
David
It'S me in a pit.
Rico Nasty
I love that. I see that.
David
For you, that could be cool.
Langston Kerman
That's dope.
David
I think, like, the idea of being paired with a giant water animal suits me.
Langston Kerman
That's. That's really beautiful.
David
Yeah. Because I also love sea turtles in a.
Langston Kerman
In a.
David
In a. In a strong way.
Langston Kerman
Rico.
Rico Nasty
Shark.
Langston Kerman
Shark.
David
Shark.
Langston Kerman
But. But what kind of shark?
David
Hammerhead. Great white.
Rico Nasty
Great white.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
White.
Rico Nasty
King of the jungle, like I would imagine, right? I'm like. I live in a penthouse apartment in Tokyo.
David
Okay.
Rico Nasty
You walk in, it's dark. Like when you go into a fucking Hollister store.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Okay.
Rico Nasty
It's a big window, but it's round. And then it goes all the way. But it's a break, right? And it's a fucking big ass shark tank. Whoa.
David
The apartment is a shark tank.
Rico Nasty
The apartment has a shark tank.
Langston Kerman
And it goes all window, window, window. Shark tank.
Rico Nasty
Yep.
David
Oh, so it's really a giant tank in a small apartment.
Rico Nasty
It's really like.
David
Okay. I like that.
Rico Nasty
This whole wall going all the way up for like four floors was a tank.
Langston Kerman
Yes, it was.
David
Okay, I'm gonna pitch you a name.
Rico Nasty
Okay.
David
Shark Part man.
Rico Nasty
Shark part man.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Okay.
David
All the walls. Shark. My walls are shark.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Whoa.
David
My walls are tanked.
Langston Kerman
I'm shark everywhere I go.
David
It's all shark in here.
Langston Kerman
When I shit, it's shark in here.
David
Everything.
Rico Nasty
You know what sharking is?
David
I don't think. We think it's the same thing. No?
Langston Kerman
No. Are you gonna tell us?
David
I thought it was when you beat people.
Langston Kerman
Hell, no.
Rico Nasty
When you eat people.
David
I thought it was when you beat people at pool.
Rico Nasty
Shark. No.
David
What are you talking about?
Rico Nasty
Talking about sharkin.
David
Like, if you think about. He's trying to Google it.
Langston Kerman
Look it up.
Rico Nasty
Look it up. Sharkin. What's sharkin?
Langston Kerman
Sharkin can refer to a few different things. According to the AI overview, which we trust. It includes the act of pulling down someone's clothes without their consent.
David
Is that what you're. Matt, you could just tell us. Is that what you meant to say? That's crazy.
Langston Kerman
I thought it was gonna be, like, a crazier thing. She really, like, built this up in a way where I was like, this.
Rico Nasty
Has to be the picture of Diddy.
David
Yeah, Now I get it all. Way more.
Langston Kerman
Kaiser Sosei over here, picturing out.
David
You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Finding out information in the room.
David
Is that the shark you met, though?
Rico Nasty
No.
David
Oh, okay.
Rico Nasty
What's the other option?
Langston Kerman
The other is a pickup artist term for repeatedly trying to seduce a potential sexual partner. Or in a slang sense, refers to the illegal practice of a loan shark. So those are the other two options. I bet it's number two.
Rico Nasty
No, it's supposed to be just like sharking, like when you just, like, out on a prowl.
David
Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. I get that.
Langston Kerman
I think that's what this is saying.
Rico Nasty
I love the taking Someone. What. What was the first one?
Langston Kerman
Oh, that. The. The first one is taking people's clothes off.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Without their consent.
Rico Nasty
Holy shit.
David
Oh, is that like, pantsing, too?
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, but it sounds like it could.
David
Go in a lot of different ways.
Rico Nasty
There's layers.
David
I just never. Pants are either.
Langston Kerman
I never care for that game.
Rico Nasty
Wedges. Armpit farts.
Langston Kerman
You did armpit farts?
Rico Nasty
I can still do them to this day. Bust it. Bust it real quick.
David
You got it.
Rico Nasty
You only bust it for.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Go crazy.
David
Okay, you want to get on that. Poops.
Rico Nasty
All poops.
David
Wait.
Rico Nasty
No.
Langston Kerman
Oh, man.
Rico Nasty
Embarrassing. This is like when you pull your dick out and it's just like, you're like.
Langston Kerman
I'm sure this is a lot.
David
This feels worse than that because there's more people.
Langston Kerman
Oh, no.
David
Oh, no.
Langston Kerman
Imagine how many more albums you would have sold if that.
David
Listen, this happens to people all the time. It's not even weird. It's not even weird. We could just watch a movie.
Rico Nasty
Is that even weird?
David
No, I just.
Rico Nasty
With that look, like I can't do it, and it's, like, making me.
David
No, I think you can do it.
Rico Nasty
You think you can do it? I've done it before.
David
No, no, I'm sure you look like a doer.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, like, I do a lot.
David
No, my friend told me you did it.
Rico Nasty
I do. Exactly. Just call her right now and let her know.
David
Well, it's not the best.
Rico Nasty
When I was doing it, I bet it was loud. It was really.
David
I bet it was really loud.
Langston Kerman
I bet that shit would have echoed.
David
Yeah. You know, but for now, you know, maybe I get you a drink and we just hang out. It's not a big deal.
Rico Nasty
I just don't want you to feel like I didn't, like, put the effort in because I did put the effort.
David
No, no, no.
Rico Nasty
I wanted to meet you.
David
I will say I have to get up early. You know.
Rico Nasty
Kind of just like that. Kills the vibe, though, because, like, I can try again. No, maybe we can try again later next week. Next week? No, later tonight. Later tonight. And I can. I'll pay for the food.
David
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Stick around, you say okay.
Rico Nasty
Wait a minute. All right, all right. You gotta put down that masculine energy. I got it. I got the food now. Okay, My dick don't work. I pay for the food. What you want? You want the fucking purse?
David
Oh, now this bitch. Getting a little close to home. Tread lightly.
Langston Kerman
This is a podcast of respect.
Rico Nasty
Like.
David
Y'.
Rico Nasty
All. I love it here.
David
This is a good time.
Rico Nasty
Like, we need to be stopped.
David
Rico.
Langston Kerman
Nasty is with us. God damn, we're so excited you're here. You. We've talked so much already that it. It's.
Rico Nasty
We didn't even get to the shit.
Langston Kerman
We haven't even gotten to the shit. But you came to us with a conspiracy that has sat in our lap for some time. We've desperately wanted to talk about it. We're so happy you're ready to. My mama told me.
Rico Nasty
Big hats make superior people. You're kicking, dog.
Langston Kerman
Tell us everything you know.
David
Let's go.
Rico Nasty
My homegirl, she like 18. She told me about that big hat theory.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
And she told me everything I needed to know.
David
What'd she say?
Rico Nasty
It's about power.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
Rico Nasty
And big hats, it's about power. When your head. When you play like this, when you know things, those thoughts have to be protected. And you can't just be out and open with your cranium exposed.
Langston Kerman
Just rawhead, right?
Rico Nasty
Just rawhead. Like that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
You need protection.
David
I don't ever rawhead the world.
Rico Nasty
You can't do that.
David
No, I don't do that.
Rico Nasty
Right now my scalp's showing. Yeah, we gotta get our shit together.
David
Do you want a hat? You have a couple behind you.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, Yeah, I think that would work, actually.
David
Okay. Yeah, go ahead.
Rico Nasty
While we're talking about this.
David
Yeah. Just in case. Yeah, hold on.
Rico Nasty
You have good ideas. They try to get you, right? So I think that, like, when you think. When you think about the people who wear the big hats. Zendaya Icon.
Langston Kerman
Big hat. Big ass hat.
Rico Nasty
Big ass hat. Erykah Badu. Big ass hat.
David
Big ass hat.
Rico Nasty
And then we get over to Beyonce, and those are, like, uncharted territories.
Langston Kerman
Some of the biggest.
David
Pharrell.
Rico Nasty
Pharrell.
Langston Kerman
Pharrell.
Rico Nasty
I mean, like, they're channeling energies. Our hats clearly aren't big enough.
Langston Kerman
Abraham Lincoln.
David
Damn. I mean, mine's pretty big. I have seven and a half.
Rico Nasty
I think that there's a 5G Internet connection, but going to outer space to talk to the aliens, I think the other 5G frequencies that we can't understand. That's how Beyonce can sing.
Langston Kerman
And you think that lives inside of the big ass hat?
Rico Nasty
Yeah. And I think that when they go into certain spaces where they know people are trying to, like, they gotta put that fucking hat on. Cause they're not getting there.
David
A way that, like, people think maybe the pyramids or some type of conductors.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Or something like that.
David
You're saying the big hat is a smaller. It's like a pyramid on your head.
Rico Nasty
I'm thinking the big hat is an antenna.
David
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it's like WI fi boost.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
It's like walking around with your fucking computer plugged into a router. It's like it's not getting no faster than that.
Langston Kerman
Right.
David
I got the big hat on now. I'm in tune.
Rico Nasty
The ideas are no doubts, no second thoughts, no second chances.
Langston Kerman
Right?
David
They're going most like your chances are scary.
Langston Kerman
Now, here's my question for you. Is this a big hat that is bestowed upon them after a certain level?
Rico Nasty
Yes. I think Erykah Badu gifts them to people.
David
Whoa. Oh. She's the big hat.
Rico Nasty
She's the source connoisseur, not the conductor. She's the conductor.
David
The cosmic haberdasher.
Rico Nasty
I mean. Yes, exactly. Exactly that. And when you really think about it, Erykah Badu is all about frequencies, right? Who's she talking to?
David
I have no idea.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I will say it doesn't feel like anybody else is on the show.
Rico Nasty
The hats are translators.
David
Okay, so she. How does she pick who to give the hats to, is my question.
Rico Nasty
She knows.
David
She just knows.
Rico Nasty
And we will never know. It's kind of like Freemasons. Oh, we don't need to know. We just see what's being done. And we know that if you remove that hat, I'm pretty sure 10 bodyguards are gonna fucking.
David
I put a hat on recently that was bigger than my normal. And it felt good.
Langston Kerman
You felt more powerful.
David
Yeah. I wish I could show you a picture.
Langston Kerman
Would that. That thing go all the way around?
David
Yeah. I wanna show you so bad.
Langston Kerman
Because it was a fedora situation.
David
Can someone grab my phone from this?
Rico Nasty
Should I have worn my hat today? My big hat?
David
Yeah, I didn't.
Rico Nasty
Abraham Lincoln vibes.
David
Whoa. So high you. Where you go up, not out.
Langston Kerman
What is she trying to conduct?
Rico Nasty
Cause I'm trying to get higher.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
They're trying to broaden their horizon. I'm trying to rise above. So I need the longer hat. And sometimes when you see people with the longer one and the wide one.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
That's like fucking with tequila and Hennessy.
Langston Kerman
Whoa.
David
Somebody's getting pregnant.
Rico Nasty
They're double dipping.
Langston Kerman
That's crazy.
Rico Nasty
They're double dipping.
Langston Kerman
You're about to upset one of these sides.
Rico Nasty
It's. And hey, if you stand next to somebody wearing a big hat, too, it's a cross.
David
Double big hats.
Rico Nasty
People need to create the imagery. Right? Now, if you put two people in the big hats next to each other, it creates a cross.
Langston Kerman
Whoa.
Rico Nasty
Because of the hats.
David
I'm glad we smoked before this.
Langston Kerman
Wait, so I Have a question. If. If these hats represent that you're not viewing this as nefarious, then no. So talk to me more about what.
Rico Nasty
Power is this nefarious?
Langston Kerman
You don't think that this is a threat as much as a. What do you see it as? No, because power for me scares me. I go. I don't want people amassing power over me. That's terrifying.
Rico Nasty
They're amassing their own powers within. They're amassing their powers within so that it translates to the masses with, you know, outward. You know what I'm saying? They're transmuting thoughts that everyone is experiencing and filtering through them and putting it.
Langston Kerman
Out in music and offering just this ultimate good based off of what the hat can do.
Rico Nasty
Because when you think about the people who wear the big hats.
David
Sean C. Reilly.
Rico Nasty
I don't think. Is that a white person?
David
He is the whitest.
Rico Nasty
I don't think white people need to be. They're not involved. I'm talking about the biggest dog.
David
I've been seeing white ladies with Raiden hats like crazy.
Rico Nasty
I think. I think that the big dogs are Erica, Beyonce, Zendaya. Those are the only ones that matter.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David
Okay.
Rico Nasty
I don't even really. Do we have any other men hats?
Langston Kerman
Pharrell. Pharrell was the biggest man hat that we had.
David
I think that's the largest one.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Pharrell can get a package.
David
You know who's got big hats lately?
Rico Nasty
Who?
David
Friend of the program. Wayne Brady.
Langston Kerman
Wayne Brady is wearing a lot of big hats.
David
Hats.
Rico Nasty
Is Wayne Brady black? Yes.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Who's Wayne Brady? Why does that sound so familiar?
David
A Bahamian man.
Rico Nasty
Is he. Is he really? Why is Oprah touching on his chest like that? That.
Langston Kerman
Oh, because they were pretending to have intimacy.
David
What song was about him and Oprah?
Rico Nasty
You better shut up about what we did.
Langston Kerman
Don't tell nobody.
Rico Nasty
I.
Langston Kerman
You Oprah.
Rico Nasty
She got that look in her eye.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
A little glassy.
IBM Ad Voice
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And he look a little sad.
David
You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
Like he had to do something he didn't really want to do.
Rico Nasty
Oprah. I used to love Oprah, man.
David
Don't say it one more time or else she'll appear.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Good. Give me a fucking car. Porsche Cayenne. Oprah.
Langston Kerman
She gonna drop it on you.
Rico Nasty
Falls in the fucking sky. I walk outside and it falls out of the sky.
David
Oprah.
Langston Kerman
I made a wish on Oprah's paw.
Rico Nasty
Little beakers of Oprah. Do y' all remember? Did y' all ever. Did y' all ever get, like, in trouble for Saying oh my God.
David
I think very little by.
Rico Nasty
Or being like, oh my God. Jesus Christ.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
I.
David
Very young.
Langston Kerman
If you throw that in there.
David
Yeah. But I feel like around puberty it started being able. Cause I was never. I don't cuss crazy in front of my mom even now. But like I was able to bust a few like, like seventh, eighth grade.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. I think I curse too much.
David
My mom still is not really tolerating like that.
Rico Nasty
She's not.
David
I, I, I wouldn't be like, I'm not like in the car with my mom like that. Like. No, but. And ass.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
I'm.
Langston Kerman
I gotta, I can cuss, but I gotta keep it. I can't PG 13.
David
Yeah. It's not like I can't go on it. I can't launch into some shit it.
Langston Kerman
Which is crazy because I pay for everything.
David
Brother.
Rico Nasty
Brother.
David
I'm a co signer on a lot.
Rico Nasty
Of leases and I'm like, I can't be like, what the. I can't.
David
Can't say.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I got some words I want to get off my chest.
David
Hey, where the at where the titties in the. Let my man talk like that in front of his mama. He should be able to walk in the room.
Rico Nasty
That's sick. Mama.
Langston Kerman
Where the bitches?
Rico Nasty
That's crazy. I guess it's different. Cause I'm a girl.
David
Yeah, probably a little bit.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. I was a little edgy growing up.
David
Oh, really? Yeah, nasty and edgy.
Rico Nasty
I was a little edgy growing up, which you could probably.
David
Yeah, I get that.
Rico Nasty
I was a little.
Langston Kerman
As a fan of your music, I think I.
Rico Nasty
What kind of.
Langston Kerman
I could piece that together.
Rico Nasty
You see it?
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Oh, my God.
Rico Nasty
What the fuck?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think to be able to find the, the perfect unique sound you have found, you had to be dipping over into some weird shit where you didn't belong and carrying that back into black spaces where it was not natural.
David
I feel like crazy because.
Rico Nasty
Wait, what's the Internet search like? What?
David
Like just like what you look. The things you look up on the Internet, I think are probably pretty.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Your Explorer page is probably odd.
David
Oh, for real?
Langston Kerman
You'll show us?
Rico Nasty
Let's see what we got.
Langston Kerman
This is very interesting.
David
This is exciting.
Rico Nasty
Let's see what I got. Is my phone even in here?
Langston Kerman
This is so brave of you.
Rico Nasty
Let's see. Actually, let's see my Google search.
David
Yes. Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Let's see. We're going straight to safari history.
David
Yeah, Safari is where I get weirder.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you get weirder on.
David
Google's a Lot more tame on chrome.
Rico Nasty
What's the most babies had at once?
David
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Langston Kerman
When you ask that question, do you mean, like, them all coming out at the same time?
Rico Nasty
She had a set of three triplets. She had nine babies. Heaviest baby ever born.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
You were on a Baby Kick Rodney King video.
David
Uh. Oh, damn. How did that lead to that?
Rico Nasty
Camp deodorant.
David
Okay, you just got him sandwiched in. My man Rodney, no litter is.
Rico Nasty
He is like, literally, like, heavy baby. Heaviest birth.
Langston Kerman
Barney King, let's go.
Rico Nasty
And Pedarant, turn in electronics for money. I'm so cheap. I swear to God, I hate that. Look. Coin Star near me. I still collect coins.
Langston Kerman
Me too.
David
Oh, man. Yo, did I tell you what happened at the Coin Star, though, recently? To me? No.
Langston Kerman
What happened?
David
We got a bullet. We put all our coins in, and there was a bullet in there.
Langston Kerman
Like a literal bullet?
David
A bullet? Yeah. And like. Cause it didn't sort or whatever. Yeah, we put it in Alana's little Trader Joe's bag, and then we were flying to Denver, and it was in the Trader Joe's bag at the Burbank Airport. Yeah. Guys. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Did they make a big deal out of it?
David
The cop was like. The cop was like, you're not gonna get. Or they're just gonna send something to your house.
Rico Nasty
Cause she.
David
You know, it wasn't on. It was her back.
Langston Kerman
Oh, shit.
David
I felt like Jay Z.
Langston Kerman
Thank God. My baby. Do a beer for me.
David
Hold me down. I take care of the cat.
Langston Kerman
I'm a shade the cat.
Rico Nasty
Have y' all ever taken a charge for a girl?
David
No. Or a boy?
Langston Kerman
No.
David
It's not like a sex.
Rico Nasty
Next thing.
Langston Kerman
It's the charge.
David
I.
Langston Kerman
That's really my big hang up is the charge if we don't have the.
David
Same blood or we. I'm not doing that.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
I'm sorry that happened to you.
David
I got to take care of my family. Did you take a charge for a boy or a girl?
Rico Nasty
No, they took a charge for me.
Langston Kerman
Oh, yeah.
David
I could see you having that power.
Langston Kerman
You very charming.
David
That makes sense.
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. That's.
David
Did you ask him to, or did he just do it because he loves you? I don't know why I laughed when I said that. That was up.
Langston Kerman
You fully cuxed my.
David
It's just because I've been having such a good time. This dumbass do that on purpose or on accident, But I bet you didn't say anything. I bet he just did it.
Rico Nasty
He just did it.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, that's Beautiful.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
He just did it.
David
I. I take my. I keep my laugh.
Langston Kerman
Damn.
Rico Nasty
He just did it.
David
Yeah. Where's he now? Is he still. No.
Rico Nasty
Nope.
David
No way. He's still gone.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
Damn.
Rico Nasty
What the.
David
What was the charge? God.
Rico Nasty
He's been gone ever since I got.
David
Was it a body?
Langston Kerman
Ever since I got to move my.
David
Chair over a little bit.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. Come on.
David
I got one bullet.
Langston Kerman
I guess this date went bad. This. This got scary at the end.
David
Oh, man.
Langston Kerman
We need to take a break.
Rico Nasty
I'm just kidding, guys.
Langston Kerman
Let's just take a break.
Rico Nasty
I'm not. Oh, God. We went to jail for like, four hours.
David
We're gonna be back.
Langston Kerman
That was so funny.
David
More.
Langston Kerman
Rico. Nasty. More. My mama told me.
Rico Nasty
So.
IBM Ad Voice
Let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there and everywhere, but your AI can't use the data because it's here, there, and everywhere? Seems like something's missing. Every business has unique data. IBM helps your AI access your data wherever it lives. To change how you do business, let's create. Smile to Business IBM.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's. But there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50 like the DeWalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2pm you get same day delivery by 8pm shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's. We help you save the holidays are.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Back at Starbucks, so share the season with a peppermint mocha. Starbucks signature Espresso Velvety mocha and cool peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks.
Pets Best Insurance Ad Voice
Protect your pet with insurance from Pets Best plans start from less than a dollar a day. Visit petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Co. Or Independence American Insurance Co. For terms and conditions, visit www.petsbest.com. policy products are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company, Independence, American Insurance Co. Or Ms. Transverse Insurance Co. And administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC. $1 a day premium based on 2024 average new policyholder data for accident and illness plans. Pets age 0 to 10.
Rico Nasty
I've never been to a football game. Really?
Langston Kerman
Never?
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
Why not?
Rico Nasty
I've never known anyone that goes to a football game like, yeah, I've never gone. Only basketball.
Langston Kerman
Basketball's fun.
Rico Nasty
I've been to basketball. I've been to a soccer game, but I've never been to a football game. My Entire baseball. I've been to baseball. I've never been to a football game, though.
David
Footballs are fun.
Langston Kerman
Football game is fun. If you're in a group that cares.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. It's not a two person, like a baseball game, you can go with you.
Langston Kerman
And one other person.
Rico Nasty
Like, even basketball, you can go on like a date.
Langston Kerman
You can just ignore the game and jump in when you're in the game.
Rico Nasty
But ball is more like. I don't know, like, I don't really hang around friends that like, go to games. But that is something that I put on my little list. I have a list of things I want to do before I turn 30.
David
Okay. What else is on the list?
Langston Kerman
Get that boil popped.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
What else is on the list?
David
Was that a crazy question?
Langston Kerman
She said, I thought this was an easy interview.
Rico Nasty
I said, it's a bottomy now.
David
Peace.
Rico Nasty
It's a birthmark.
David
This is my Eddie Murphy dog.
Rico Nasty
What else do I want to do? I want to walk in the grass in like wet grass without shoes on.
David
You never done that one time.
Rico Nasty
No.
David
In your whole life. Where are you growing in Maryland.
Rico Nasty
I don't do that. Maryland. I just can't do it. I have like a sensory thing for me.
David
Oh.
Rico Nasty
It's not like.
David
It's like a.
Rico Nasty
You didn't.
David
You had the option. You just had the option. I just did.
Rico Nasty
So, like, I want to eventually, like, be able to be like, more like grounded in that sense where I'm not like, afraid of nature.
David
Do you like nature?
Rico Nasty
I do now. I be like hiking and shit, but. And I be on the heights and I be seeing like, little Japanese women or they be barefoot. And I'd be like, how do you guys, like. I don't know. And it's not really in a judgmental way. It's more so like in a Damn. That's so cool that, like, you're just not scared.
Langston Kerman
You found something I have not yet found.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
I like it when people can do shit. I was in Hawaii and we hiked down to this, like, volcanic beach. And then we were going up and coming up was crazy. And there was this local Hawaiian dude who was basically running up, no shoes. On. On.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Just like, you could just tell, like, he just does volcanic rock.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Yeah. It was like. It was so impressive.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
I was like, I'm my bitch ass. I'm having a hard time in shoes.
Langston Kerman
I'm. I'm walking and I'm scared because it was like.
David
It was like. It was like hard to get down.
Langston Kerman
We were. I. When I Went to South Africa. We hiked this thing that is more like the junior version of a hike out there for them where they're like, anybody, Everybody can come do this. It's this easy. Lion's Head Mountain is like, the one that anybody can do. My wife and I were doing it, and the whole time being like, I think we need to go back.
David
It was that steep.
Langston Kerman
This is scary. And these paths are narrow. I am uncomfortable and, like, push through. But there were kids in front of us just, like, playing and jumping around. And you feel like a coward, but it's like, that's so terrifying. I'm not built for whatever.
David
Nature will hoe you out.
Rico Nasty
It really will. That's how I felt when I. I first went for a hike ever. My whole life. Last year, it was the beginning of the summer, and I went on the fucking hike. And after the hike, my adrenaline was rushing so much, and I was so exhausted that I went to sleep. And all I dreamt about was myself on the hike, but I wasn't scared. And ever since then, I, like, go.
David
On hikes all the time.
Rico Nasty
It was like, you know how you have those dreams where, like, you feel like you're gonna fall? Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
It was like moments like that in the dream where I'm on the edge and I just. I will never forget that shit. That was like, the only time I ever felt like since music. That was the only time I felt like, oh, shit. Like I'm good at something or I can be if I stop being scared.
David
Man. So hiking really unlocked a lot.
Rico Nasty
Yeah, it really did the, like. It did its thing for me. For real. Cause I was going to the gym and bro, I go to the gym and bro, bitches be bad as fuck. And I'm like, distracted, and I'm like, you know you're distracted. And then, yes, they do.
David
Yes, they do.
Rico Nasty
They be bad as shit.
David
Like, I'm really worried about that. Cause he was trying to told me to go to his gym because I was in Denver. I was working out at the ymca.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Shout out to all my boys at.
Rico Nasty
The downtown Y. I went to the fucking Equinox. The Hollywood Equinox.
David
Oh, yeah.
Rico Nasty
It's like, fine shit, fine shit. Tall fine shit. Buff ass, fine shit. Fresh lineup. Fine shit, fine shit, fine shit. God damn. I came here to work. Fine shit, fine shit, fine shit, fine shit. Then you see a bitch. Then you get your heart broken in that motherfucker. Cause you working out and like, in your brain, it's one nigga in there. You like Ooh, that's my boo. That's my booty. Yeah, you walking on your little Stairmaster. You walking on his stairmaster. That's my man today. Maybe he gonna talk to me today.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he did good.
Rico Nasty
Bitch with the body of a guy. Why are you here?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, she walking a motherfucker.
Rico Nasty
And the nigga that you thought was looking at you, baby, no, he's looking at her too. And you're on a stairmaster, and these are fucking strangers. And you're like, oh, my God, he's fucking cheating on me.
David
I gotta get out of here. He literally just looked at her ye.
Rico Nasty
In front of me. You've never even had a conversation with this person.
Langston Kerman
You see people.
Rico Nasty
So I stopped going to the gym.
Langston Kerman
You see people in the gym that you see them, and you go, brother, you already finished the work.
Rico Nasty
I said, why are you taking up? You got all the muscles you got. Take up some space up in this motherfucker. You take up space at the machine. Work this machine. Give me abs out of here. Get out, get out. I can't take it anymore. And the girls with the fat bus, you know, it's even up, cuz. Like, they be like.
Langston Kerman
And be careful because they. They mean a lot to me.
David
But that's a huge part.
Rico Nasty
That's the best part. I'll tell you why. Cuz you live your whole lives, right? You live your whole lives like they're editing their pictures, bro. There's no way nobody's ass is that fat. There's no way nobody's ass is that skinny. That fat. You go to the gym, you see some shit, you. You say, oh, so God has favorites. So God. Yeah. So God has a list of people. She probably don't know music.
David
She probably can't do music.
Langston Kerman
She can't do music.
Rico Nasty
Has a list of people.
David
When I see people that are really fine, I assume they can't read. And that makes me feel better.
Rico Nasty
When I see people really fine, I just assume they're super fucking boring. I'm like, you are not fun.
David
And I don't think there's anything wrong with you doing it.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
Because sometimes. And then they are fine.
Langston Kerman
That's my go to. I've never tried alliterate. I. I might try.
David
Will make you feel great.
Langston Kerman
That might feel good.
Rico Nasty
That can't read.
David
You can't read. Baby, her waist small as that bitch can't.
Rico Nasty
I know that camera shut.
Langston Kerman
I would have to help you through it. I don't.
David
She's lucky she got here.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, she didn't Know when to stop.
David
Yeah, tell me, tell me.
Rico Nasty
All the gym is a real question. Crazy place. Like, for real. You know how motherfuckers be like, they be like, oh, yeah. Nobody's really happy like that in real life. Yeah, nobody really looks like that in real life. It's all the Internet.
Langston Kerman
They really do.
Rico Nasty
You go to the gym, you gonna be more depressed than when you went in that motherfucker.
David
That's where they're at, though. You don't know what their life is outside of that.
Rico Nasty
At least they fine.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, at least they fine.
Rico Nasty
At least if they friends say, let's go to Miami tomorrow, bitch.
Langston Kerman
No preparation.
Rico Nasty
You don't have to.
Langston Kerman
I've been ready.
Rico Nasty
Bitch ass fat.
Langston Kerman
Absolutely.
David
That's true. Cause I'm even me going to Miami. I changed the diet up a little bit.
Langston Kerman
I want to look different than it is right now.
Rico Nasty
I don't think a fat ass would, like, cure all my problems, but I don't know what that is with.
David
Dear Diary.
Rico Nasty
Dear diary, I've heard time and time again. Please bestow upon me the fattest wagon.
Langston Kerman
Dear God, it's me, Rico.
Rico Nasty
I see what you've done for the other girls. Just give me the doctor, please. Please. I feel like I'm literally like. You know the meme of Squidward where he's watching everyone play outside? That's how I feel when I watch.
Langston Kerman
Girls with fat butt.
Rico Nasty
Like when I watch Ari twerk.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
I'm like, oh, yeah.
David
Throwing it in a circle probably is really fun.
Langston Kerman
It seems nice working, like. Oh, shit.
David
Like when they, like, pick up the foot and like, kind of swing around. You're like. Like they're about to get. You're like, oh, you. It's like when you see somebody run real fast and you're like, that's because he's good at that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or like what any of that shit is like.
Langston Kerman
It feels like literally when you see a master at work, you wanna be a part of it.
David
That's how I feel about twerking.
Rico Nasty
That's how I feel. Yeah, that's how I feel about it as well. I say, whoa, yeah, yeah. If I can shake my ass like that. We're forgetting the real stuff. If I had a butt, I wouldn't be a rapper.
David
What would you be?
Rico Nasty
Anything I wanted to be. What do you mean?
David
Astronau, Mid level management.
Rico Nasty
Rapper'S girlfriend.
David
What do I need money for? I'm sitting on this dump truck.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
I'll run a target. Who gives a shit? Who should Claps.
Langston Kerman
Who loves the vending machines? That's me.
Rico Nasty
No, I literally wouldn't do nothing.
David
Yeah. That I could see working out for sure.
Rico Nasty
You know, I wouldn't have to.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
But I mean, I mean, I will say I've known some dudes who just kind of get by just fucking girls because they got whatever they never seen. It never seems.
Rico Nasty
It never really fulfills, you know, they seem mad.
David
Like, not even restless, just like. It's just kind of empty.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
And they're never good parents.
Rico Nasty
Empty as.
David
Funny as shit.
Langston Kerman
Oh, empty. A. A lady with a fat ass, too. Fat of an ass isn't a good parent.
David
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Rico Nasty
You're the best mama.
Langston Kerman
I thought that's what he was saying.
David
The mamas with the big butt, the.
Rico Nasty
Big arms, Those are the best moms ever. I literally just watched a whole tik tok about that where it was like, the reason.
David
You said, I watched the whole tik tok, you know, it's a 90 second platform.
Rico Nasty
I watched the whole tik tok about it. I'll tell you right now. They said that the reason why, you know, people are so fragile in sports now is because their moms are bad bitches. And they keep trying. People trying to keep populating with bad bitches, and they need to be populating with bitches that are more like, sturdy. Your son is gonna go to the league. I started thinking about that shit. I started thinking about that shit for real. I was like, whoa. Like, in reality, like, damn, no, my son is not gonna go to the league. He's not. He's just. Yeah.
David
No one's son is in reality is. You don't know that. They say, I do know that. I do know that.
Langston Kerman
You never want to think my boy got a chance in high school.
David
You go to that football camp where.
Rico Nasty
They'Re like, no, you don't.
David
Like, of all the guys in high school, they're like, 5. 1% of you are going to go on. 1% of you in this room or whatever going to go on to play College. Of that 1% of 1% is going to. It's like, nobody plays.
Rico Nasty
It's really crazy, though.
David
You know there's only ever been 5,000 people in the NBA.
Rico Nasty
Are you kidding me?
David
Yeah, it's. You would think it's. It's, it's. It's. Nobody does.
Langston Kerman
I know multiple NBA players.
David
Yeah, but look up how many people have played in the NBA total.
Langston Kerman
No, I, I believe you. I'm saying, like, I.
Rico Nasty
Well, they normally have really long careers. And one.
David
No, they don't.
Rico Nasty
They don't.
Langston Kerman
NBA players. No, no, no.
Rico Nasty
LeBron James is.
Langston Kerman
LeBron James is a God amongst men. He. He does not exist on our natural plane.
David
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Langston Kerman
He is. He is not only going to probably break the record for how long anybody has played basketball, he also is going to play another elite level.
Rico Nasty
How long has LeBron James been playing?
Langston Kerman
22 years.
David
He. He. My senior year of high school was his rookie season.
Rico Nasty
That's actually insane.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
I'm 29, and he is not. He's currently not playing, but I bet when he comes back, he's gonna be busting ass.
Rico Nasty
Wow. I honestly feel like I got to watch a game, and I was courtside and LeBron was right next to me.
David
Mean. Did you talk to him, girl?
Rico Nasty
No. What the.
David
Oh, that's a crazy question. I'm asking crazy questions.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. He's literally working. He's literally playing against.
David
You see him talk to people all the time.
Rico Nasty
What am I supposed to say to him? Hey, LeBron, he trying to tell them what to do.
David
Tell him you're gonna release a deluxe album. I would start a deluxe album.
Rico Nasty
He didn't.
David
Yeah, that's fair.
Rico Nasty
He was just like, oh, he was upset. And I was just looking at him like, damn. Yeah, you are. I felt like I was in space, Jamie. And that's not just. Cause he was in Space Jam, but, like, literally, I felt like I was in Space Jam. Cause everybody, it's like, regular human. Regular human. Then you get down to the court, and it's like, holy shit.
David
Yeah, they're giants.
Rico Nasty
God was like, okay, I'm gonna make y' all and stretch em and like, that's crazy.
Langston Kerman
It's wild. When you get up close to them, they can't read.
Rico Nasty
Yes, they can.
Langston Kerman
When you see how. When you see how little they can.
Rico Nasty
Do a lot of things.
David
Uh.
Langston Kerman
Oh, wait a minute.
Rico Nasty
I'm just joking.
David
I don't know any basketball players.
Langston Kerman
When you see how little their waists are in person, that's where I go like, o, this some freak shit.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Cause they're like.
Rico Nasty
I'm taking a look at the waist.
Langston Kerman
They're like big motherfuckers with big, wide, broad shoulders. But then they have 32 jeans, and it's like, oh, that's. You're like, you shouldn't exist. That's not even possible.
Rico Nasty
That's actually crazy. I've never taken a look at their waist.
David
You should try it.
Rico Nasty
Only their butts.
Langston Kerman
See I don't go that low.
David
Only their butts. I don't look at their butts at all. Do they got ass? Basketball players got ass like that.
Rico Nasty
They got little petite butts.
David
Okay, what are you looking for in ass?
Rico Nasty
Something like. They'd be like, she wants tennis.
David
That'd be like, tennis?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Football players have cute butts. Okay, I'll be seeing that.
Langston Kerman
She want that Kyle Lowry.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
What's that? I have to Google it. Is his ass fat?
Langston Kerman
Oh, he got the fattest ass NBA ever seen.
Rico Nasty
Maybe that's what I'll do to reverse the patriarchy. I just pop out with Enigma. Fat ass.
David
Yo, you should.
Rico Nasty
And I'm just like, y'. All.
David
You should be like a real rapper about it and come out with, like, 10. Just, like 10 dudes coming out the wind.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. You open the door for them.
David
Yeah. Like three. And they walk like. They walk like badass. Like, they be like.
Rico Nasty
They all got their little. Their little go yard.
Langston Kerman
Two of them hold hands.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. Yeah.
David
We don't know what that is. Yes.
Rico Nasty
We need to get.
David
We need to get the. That's really what you gotta do. That would be cool.
Langston Kerman
See, this is how fat Kyle Lowry's ass is. They make memes about him having a.
David
Big old dunk everywhere.
Rico Nasty
Oh, God.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, He a big old thickum.
Rico Nasty
That's messed up.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he.
Rico Nasty
Why do they put him in booty short?
Langston Kerman
It's hard not to because of how thick the man is.
David
Also, the Internet's fucking.
Rico Nasty
Look at that white picture.
Langston Kerman
Oh, my God. He's sitting on something.
Rico Nasty
Whoa.
Langston Kerman
Great player. Fat or ass?
Rico Nasty
That's crazy as hell.
David
Yeah, that's where you. That could be your future.
Langston Kerman
You could have a bunch of men with dumpers.
Rico Nasty
Maybe that's what I'll do.
David
I think that'd be pretty cool.
Rico Nasty
That's what I'll do.
David
I've never seen anybody do it.
Rico Nasty
That's what I'm saying.
David
America does not celebrate big buddy.
Rico Nasty
There's a lot of things that women could be doing right now. Like, I've always had the idea of, like, having a boy and, like, making him like the bitch. Not like. Not like that, but like. Like, like, he. Like, he my. Like. Like. Yeah, like. Like, he my. Like.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
Like. Like how be having a little accessory. And they be like a bad jump that don't nobody know where the jump from. The jump don't never talk. That's what I like. Like, I like a jump that's like.
David
Yeah, you just got one. You got one from Gary just Like, nobody.
Rico Nasty
They from, like, low key. They low key as. And they just like, damn, who that. That's my. Shut up.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they don't talk, so.
Rico Nasty
Don't talk.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
You know what I'm saying?
David
Like, you could do that.
Rico Nasty
I'm doing it right now. I'm working on it. Currently, I have a. I have a person.
Langston Kerman
Let's go.
David
We got ass.
Rico Nasty
Does he have ass? He got a little one.
David
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Hey, but with the technology now, we could change that.
Rico Nasty
I know. That's what I'm saying.
David
Get him some scope. You can get him the bbl.
Langston Kerman
A hebl. Yeah.
David
Yo, you would. You would be pioneering. You would pioneer that.
Rico Nasty
You know, I've lived lives that y' all would never know about, but of course, unfortunately, I know all about the dbls. I know all about the dbo.
David
Why is it DBO Dick Dick, or actually the Dick Butler Dick Bleed. I think he used to coach Steelers. Dick Butler.
Langston Kerman
They take a little bit of meat from your leg, they put it on your ass.
David
This surgery is so you can float.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
They do have DFTs, though.
David
A DFT?
Rico Nasty
Like an NFT sign. Dick transfer.
David
Dick Fungible.
Rico Nasty
Token Dick Fungible Transactions.
David
Dick.
Rico Nasty
Funds and transactions. Yeah, the dbts. The. The dft.
David
Sorry, what? I don't know what that is, though.
Rico Nasty
The dick. Fat transfers.
David
You're fucking me up.
Rico Nasty
That.
David
That's an option.
Rico Nasty
I'm talking about some lore that I shouldn't be talking about.
David
Yeah. I don't.
Rico Nasty
I could get murdered for speaking on this.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Be careful.
Rico Nasty
Let me. Shut up. Be careful.
Langston Kerman
We told you we won't protect you. Yeah, we don't.
David
We don't have the.
Langston Kerman
That's the one beer you can have.
David
Yeah. You walk out of here, you're by yourself.
Rico Nasty
Take it to the head. DBOs are real, though.
David
No, I believe it. I believe that we've talked about it before. It was only a matter of time that.
Rico Nasty
That the men caught on.
David
Yeah. I do think it'll end the world when men figure out how to make all their dicks bigger.
Langston Kerman
I do think it speaks to how challenging the dick is that it took this long to. To perfect the technology.
David
It's really the one thing you gotta be like, I just got what I got.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
And maybe that's because we didn't have enough men who were willing to be volunteers for experimentation.
Rico Nasty
I honestly feel like.
David
I think if you went to the.
Rico Nasty
Right, should treat their little dicks like how girls treat little titties.
David
Oh. Oh. Cause they're like I also got ass. Is that what you gotta wear? Drawers? Is that what you. I see where you're coming from. You ain't got to have it all, baby.
Langston Kerman
Just make sure that ass is.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
Come over here and sit it down.
Rico Nasty
You got a little thing.
Langston Kerman
Fat ass is my type. The rest of it is what it is. Let it be where it lay.
Rico Nasty
Hug that thing out with me, twin. No. That's fucking fat. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you know, Ying and yang, man. You can't have one without the other.
Langston Kerman
Okay, we need to take one more break. We're going to be back. More. Rico Nasty. More. My Mama told Me.
IBM Ad Voice
So. Let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there and everywhere, but your AI can't use the data because it's here, there and everywhere? Seems like something's missing. Every business has unique data. IBM helps your AI access your data wherever it lives. To change how you do business, let's create smarter business. IBM.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
The clock's running out on December deal drops at Lowe's. But there's still time to wrap up something they'll love. Shop great gifts under $50 like the DeWalt Elite Series 100 piece bit set. Plus, if you order by 2pm you get same day delivery by 8pm Shop December deal drops while you can. Lowe's. We help you save.
Starbucks Ad Voice
It's the season to come together over your holiday favorites at Starbucks. Warm up with a creamy caramel brulee Latte. Latte. Get festive with an iced gingerbread chai or share a velvety peppermint mocha. Together is the best place to be at Starbucks.
Pets Best Insurance Ad Voice
Protect your pet with insurance from Pets Best plans start from less than a dollar a day. Visit petsbest.com Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC or underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company for terms and conditions, visit www.petsbest.com. backslash policy products are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company, Independence American Insurance Company or Ms. Transverse Insurance Company and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC. $1.00 a day premium based on 2024 average new policyholder data for accident and illness plans. Pets age 0 to 10. Would you say that you're racist?
David
Not at all. No.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
David
Look at my dog. He's as black as can be. And we're as back as can be. What my mama told me.
Langston Kerman
Let's go. Let's go.
David
Yeah, Swee.
Langston Kerman
They're still here with Rico Nasty. You. Before we. Before we get into the voicemails, I hear you acting Now.
David
Oh, yeah, tell us about that.
Langston Kerman
And take your time. Don't you rush. Make it a dramatic pause. Really sit into it. You're an actress. You want to own. Yeah. You want to own this scene.
David
And. And action.
Rico Nasty
I used to watch War of the Worlds.
Langston Kerman
Let's go.
Rico Nasty
With Tom Cruise.
David
Uh huh.
Rico Nasty
And now I get to act on the same show as Elle Fanning.
David
Mm mm. Not talking about.
Rico Nasty
And if you ain't know, I know it was Tom Cruise in Dakota.
David
Fan.
Rico Nasty
That was my favorite movie. My whole. That was my favorite movie. War of the Worlds, I used to watch it.
David
That's an interesting movie.
Rico Nasty
With Dakota Fannin and Tom Cruise.
David
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
And now I'm in this bitch with Elle. Like Denzel.
Langston Kerman
Let's go.
David
You hear it first. You heard it here first, Rico. Nancy's the new Tom Cruise.
Langston Kerman
Mm.
David
I like that.
Langston Kerman
Transference of properties.
David
I like that.
Rico Nasty
No, it's very surreal though, being on a show. So there's some heavy hitters on there too.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's up.
Rico Nasty
Fucking Nicole Kidman, Michelle Pfeiffer.
David
That's the two heaviest hitters I know.
Rico Nasty
I was took. I just was like Alvira. She would probably been like, girl, I'm like Alvira. Another grand lord. And she loved me in the world. Like, baby, like, that's okay, that's okay, that's okay. But yeah, that shit is really, really crazy.
David
She danced a lot like this.
Rico Nasty
She just was. So that's how she did.
David
And she like looked hella mad. You never seen Scarface?
Langston Kerman
I've never seen Scarface.
David
Whoa.
Langston Kerman
We know it's not a cool thing to say. You gotta watch it. I know.
Rico Nasty
You have to watch it.
David
And then she's dancing to the song and the song's like, bounce, bounce to the Yale.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David
Bounce, bounce to the. Yo, that's a good movie.
Rico Nasty
You know what's fucking crazy? Future sampled that scene. She was. He sampled a song from there. She's on Fire.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rico Nasty
Future sampled that.
Langston Kerman
It reached a point after a certain age where it was like, embarrassing to sit down with it.
David
You're like the 40 year old virgin, but with Scarface.
Langston Kerman
That's right. That's right. I have gotten pussy before.
Rico Nasty
Twice. Twice.
David
And it worked. I beat the game.
Rico Nasty
I beat the game for some motherfuckers.
Langston Kerman
It's just easy.
Rico Nasty
I'm Guitar Hero intermediate bitch.
Langston Kerman
But yeah, I need to see Scarface.
David
You have to.
Rico Nasty
You have to do Scarface. I mean, you've seen Belly.
Langston Kerman
I've seen Belly.
Rico Nasty
So come on. You would like Scarface.
David
Okay.
Langston Kerman
Same vibes.
Rico Nasty
Same vibes. It's just like a whole lot of crazy ass shit. Like, if you watch Power and shit like that, you will like it. It's like the fucking Cuban version of that shit.
David
Yeah. You wanna see somebody blow up to be the man.
Rico Nasty
Their accents are so good too. The acc. I love the accents. I love the accents.
David
That's my favorite Al Pacino accent.
Langston Kerman
I don't know if Al Pacino is going to want to stand on this. When it's all said and done, it's.
David
Better than his Puerto Rican in Carlito's way.
Langston Kerman
That's fair.
David
That one was. That whole movie, he was like, I'm just a Puerto Rican. He's like, yo, what's going on? Give me some of rose con pollo. Wow.
Rico Nasty
Ros con pollo.
David
I like to do the hoche coche, my friend. I don't think that's how it goes.
Rico Nasty
That's not Puerto Rican at all.
David
No, but that's how he talks in the whole movie.
Langston Kerman
They really let my boy be whatever he wanted to be.
David
Yeah, that's cool.
Langston Kerman
That's really cool.
David
I want to, bro. I would love to be going bad accent in a movie, bro.
Langston Kerman
It would bring me so much pleasure to get to play Asian.
Rico Nasty
Now, how we gonna make that happen?
Langston Kerman
I don't think it can. I'm just saying.
Rico Nasty
Eddie Murphy did it.
Langston Kerman
There was an era.
David
No, that was Norbit.
Rico Nasty
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Wait.
David
Oh, he did? Yeah. He did it in Norbit.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he was Asian.
David
No, I was making a joke that she thought Norbit was an Asian guy.
Langston Kerman
That was Norbit playing an Asian dude. Eddie Murphy would never do that.
Rico Nasty
Eddie Murphy would never do that. But in case he wanted to do you.
David
You would like to play Japanese specifically.
Langston Kerman
I want to be able to have lived in an era where this type of. Type of sort of, like, observation wasn't racist as much as it was.
Rico Nasty
You know what's so funny, though? I honestly feel like they love us and we love them. That's so funny because, like, that's how.
David
You view that relationship.
Rico Nasty
I do. I feel like. I feel like black people, we love Asian culture. We do. We love the anime, we love the way they dress.
Langston Kerman
Food.
Rico Nasty
But they also the food. The way that their. Their style is, the way they are, how creative they. How neat they are, how, like, everything is, like, organized and structured and like, what's the word for it? Like, everything is functional.
Langston Kerman
There's a discipline.
Rico Nasty
We fuck with the balance and we fuck with a lot of the things in their culture, and I feel like the same vice versa. They fuck with our music. They fuck with the way we dress. They fuck with our hair. They fuck with our food. They literally love fried chicken. And I just think it's cute. Like, I think it's cute. I fuck with them. And I really do think that, like, out of everybody, they. It might come off a certain type of way from this side of the world. Cause they On a completely different side of the world.
David
Right?
Rico Nasty
But I don't think they mean no harm by that shit. I really do think they. They, like. They think we cool as shit. And they don't understand it, because when you go to those places, they don't have a lot of black people.
David
I'm going to definitely.
Rico Nasty
Oh, I'm going this Friday To Tokyo? Yeah.
David
Oh, man. What are you doing? I don't know.
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. I'm literally surprising my son. He thinks we're not doing nothing. It's his 10th birthday. I said we going big. So I'm gonna surprise him.
David
You go see the TikTok.
Rico Nasty
I'm literally surprised.
Langston Kerman
That's crazy.
Rico Nasty
Literally, like, he thinks we're not doing anything.
David
And you're taking him to Tokyo?
Rico Nasty
Yeah, I'm taking him to Tokyo. Are you gonna wake up?
David
Are you gonna do the Mario Kart in Shibuya?
Rico Nasty
Yes.
David
Yeah, that's what I've been looking at. You did it, right?
Langston Kerman
We didn't get to do the Mario Kart.
Rico Nasty
He gets to ride the bay.
Langston Kerman
We didn't get kids with us and shit. Okay, yeah.
Rico Nasty
So we're gonna go and. Yeah, I'm really excited for that because, like, I don't know, the way he likes the culture, it just reminds me of, like, bro when I was younger, and I liked certain shit. And, like, people was like, you're weird. You watch. You watch that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. Yeah.
David
This is where you guys can relate.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it's like, you like that type of stuff. And I was an anime on a. On a cassette tape.
Rico Nasty
You feel me?
Langston Kerman
Like, you know what I mean?
Rico Nasty
And I wasn't really big. I'll say this. I wasn't really big on anime growing up, but I loved the way they dressed, and I love their hair, and I love the way they edited pictures, and I just loved the way they talked. The way they talked. And I loved the art in the shows. Like, I literally loved how soft the girls were and how cool the guys were.
Langston Kerman
You just fully recognized a value, an appreciation for what you were saying.
Rico Nasty
And then, like, I remember, like, trying to bond over with Other people, and they're like, what is that?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, fuck. Fuck you talking about?
Rico Nasty
But, yeah, I do feel like when you get older and then you're able to, like, go over there and be like, damn, y' all kind of are obsessed with us the same way we are with you. And I think the world likes to make things evil. It's like they're fetishizing us. It's like, yeah, of course people fetishize fetishized things and any fucking demographic, but.
David
We'Re beautiful with them.
Rico Nasty
I feel like they really do think that we're just.
Langston Kerman
And I do. I think some of it also is that the fetishizing has been the result of the bad juju being shared. Like, I think there was.
David
Now you're putting different people's.
Langston Kerman
I think it was more an organic exchange of culture at one point, and then the Internet started pumping in this negative energy, and then you start to buy into it or. Or negate it or whatever the art argument is. But, like, ultimately there probably was a genuine appreciation just being like, I don't. I ain't never seen nothing like you. But I like that.
Rico Nasty
But I like that.
David
Yeah. And you feel like the Internet corrupted that.
Langston Kerman
I think the Internet has corrupted some of that organic.
David
I mean, it can run with the narrative, right?
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
I think they make. Anybody. They make. They're really quick to make homage look like. Like. Like paying homage. They make that look like. Like you're. They are very quick to say to switch the intention of it.
David
Yeah, for sure. I think I. Yeah, I agree with that.
Rico Nasty
For sure. And I do feel like, yeah, in some cases, if you aren't honest about where you're biting your shit from or getting your shit from, it's real easy for motherfuckers to be like, you're copying. But I do think, like, if you look at it, they've always been infatuated with us and they love what we do and that we can't really take that shit from them and be like, no, you weren't. But because they were. It's like, it goes back far. They love darker people and like our culture and how resilient we are. Cause it says.
David
See what happens when you let him out.
Rico Nasty
It said the dark skinned.
David
Okay, that's fair, that's fair. I'm just saying, you let this off the cage, you see what happens?
Langston Kerman
Now we doing podcast. Now we doing podcast.
David
I got a friend in this village.
Rico Nasty
He said, why you laughing? You laughing at me?
Langston Kerman
All right. Oh, my God, Rico, we have a. A voicemail. We want to. We want to play. And feel free to stop it at any time if you. If you so choose.
David
Okay. All right.
Voicemail Caller
Every time I call, it's like David ending it. It is so aggressive. But nevertheless, my conspiracy theory with Halloween just ending is that Michael Jackson's song Thriller was actually about crack. And the Thriller. Thriller itself was the crack rock. Because if you really dissect and you listen to the lyrics like it's close to midnight and it's something evil lurking in the dark. The evil which was lurking in the dark were the crackheads.
Langston Kerman
Oh, crackhead.
Voicemail Caller
And it's further demonstrated in a video when we get to the dance sequence and they start hitting the dance moves. Those dance moves were the gyrations and movements. Even though crack was not out when Thriller came out in 1980. 83. Because the crack epidemic really started. 85, 86. It was like Quincy Jones wrote that song. He was forewarning us about the evils to come with crack cocaine. Y' all niggas be blessed.
Langston Kerman
Okay?
David
Cause immediately, do the word association. Cause this is crackhead, Crackhead night.
Rico Nasty
Crack at night. Oh, I just want the crack. I want the crack. Crack, crack.
Langston Kerman
At the end, when she goes, oh, it was a bad dream. And he looks into the camera. That's a crackhead.
David
That's a crackhead. His eyes are yellow.
Langston Kerman
That's a crackhead who has not fully been exposed, which we've all been around.
Rico Nasty
That's like the first time somebody do come in front of you.
Langston Kerman
It's like, whoa, I didn't know you were ahead. I didn't know you were like that.
David
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
And he was telling us. He's like, you think that this is the weirdest shit you ever seen. You about to see niggas like this every day, y'. All.
David
Yes.
Rico Nasty
For the rest of your lives.
David
Every way you look. No one can save you from the beast with 40 eyes.
Langston Kerman
Some shit a crackhead would say.
David
And then that white guy comes out and he's saying, what's gonna happen, happen? Darkness falls across the line and it's hopeless. Your body starts to shiver.
IBM Ad Voice
Yeah.
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. They're talking about crack.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they're talking about crack. God damn.
Rico Nasty
Look at him.
David
For no mere mortal can escape the power of the crackhead.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, the crackhead fuck. God damn.
Rico Nasty
It. Sounds like something he would listen to on the way to get.
Langston Kerman
I would have appreciated him.
Rico Nasty
It's close to me. Hey, it's something. I can't wait to get my crack. It's giving, like, crackhead theme song you.
David
Can see him like, to it the.
Langston Kerman
Whole time he's outside.
Rico Nasty
He's like, I can't even do this. They planted that song.
David
The C, Y, A, B, C. Okay, easy as 1, 2, 3.
Langston Kerman
Now, see.
Rico Nasty
Oh, we don't say that word on here.
Langston Kerman
You've lost your.
Rico Nasty
Bleep it out.
Langston Kerman
You've lost your. You were having fun. Everybody thought they had a volley in the air, and then it just turned into you doing Michael Jackson karaoke. And that's not the purpose of it.
Rico Nasty
It's fine.
David
I thought we were having a great time.
Langston Kerman
I do think there's probably more validity to. Michael Jackson had a lot of allegorical ass songs where he's talking about wizardry and shit in a way that he's never quite explained to us why that made sense to. To him.
David
And I'm talking about, like, you know.
Rico Nasty
What'S really weird, y'?
Langston Kerman
All?
Rico Nasty
Before, it looked like he was uncomfortable, and now it looks like he's happy that we're talking about his truth.
Langston Kerman
Oh, he's happy for us.
David
Oh, that does feel that way. Wow. Bad eye makeup too. It's not good.
Langston Kerman
No. I probably look better from a distance.
Rico Nasty
He's actually really happy.
David
He's like, finally, there's no one sees it.
Rico Nasty
Tell them about it.
David
Yeah, that's what he wants us to tell them about.
Rico Nasty
We won't let you down, Michael.
Langston Kerman
What is blood on the dance floor?
David
I don't know.
Langston Kerman
What is Smooth Criminal? He wasn't any of Smooth Criminal.
David
I tried to figure that out a bunch of times.
Langston Kerman
What was Captain. Captain Elo. What was that about?
Rico Nasty
Billie Jean is not my lover.
Langston Kerman
That's what I'm saying. He don't want to.
Rico Nasty
She's just a girl who claims that I'm the one.
David
Cuz we danced on the floor in the round. That's not sexual.
Langston Kerman
No, but if the. If you're dancing in the floor light up, you had sex, that rules. I think if I. If I am cool enough that when I step, the floor lights up.
David
Yeah, you.
Langston Kerman
You coming out here, you fucking.
Rico Nasty
Yeah. Yeah. You're not gonna turn that down.
Langston Kerman
You came into my aura.
Rico Nasty
How many. How many times you're gonna see that in your life? That's a once in a lifetime.
Langston Kerman
Have y' all seen that video that's been circulating of the lady giving Michael Jackson the award? And he kisses her and she's in the back and she's, like, about to pass because of how, like, euphoric she's feeling from having kisses.
David
Oh, I thought you were. Because of how good he was at kiss. Them little flat lips touched hers.
Rico Nasty
I feel like Michael was a good kiss.
Langston Kerman
You think Michael was a good kisser?
David
I think he was a selfish lover.
Langston Kerman
I don't think Michael kissed more than four people.
David
Yeah, but I think he was selfish every time.
Rico Nasty
No. Who? Nevermind.
David
No, we, we're our.
Rico Nasty
I love Prince.
David
Of course, everybody knows Prince was coming.
Langston Kerman
Prince, blow your back out there.
Rico Nasty
I love Prince. Yeah, Prince is fine.
Langston Kerman
Everybody feels that way.
David
Yeah, everybody. That's unanimous. Ain't nothing wrong. I never saw Prince video and didn't believe it. Yeah, I saw a lot of Michael videos and didn't believe it.
Langston Kerman
I think Prince was mounting women.
David
Yeah, yeah, Prince was. I think he.
Rico Nasty
That's a once in a lifetime chance. You're gonna take it up.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I can't imagine having not taking.
Rico Nasty
The opportunity, I mean, like, just to be around him. Like, he was just so, like, if.
Langston Kerman
Prince would have been like, hey, man, we. Would you like to fuck? I. I would.
David
You think that's how he would have said it? Hey, man.
Langston Kerman
Hey, bro.
David
Hey, bro.
Langston Kerman
Big Dog.
Rico Nasty
Big Dog.
David
Hey, in the back, in the boy.
Langston Kerman
I ain't meet you yet. You want to fuck?
Rico Nasty
What would be my pickup lines as a man? I'd be like, you trying to let me do that for you?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I got some skins you could borrow.
David
Yeah, you trying to let me do that for you?
Rico Nasty
Little.
Langston Kerman
Hey, Prince, I can pick you up.
Rico Nasty
Hey, Prince, let me be charming. Let me be charming. Prince.
Langston Kerman
Prince, you ain't the only one wearing ruffles, Prince.
Rico Nasty
I got platforms in the trunk. You know what you want to do?
David
My pants don't got no ass either.
Langston Kerman
Different reasons. The boy only hurts so much. I can take the ass off the pants to protect me. Oh, man, I think we did it. I think we did the whole episode.
Rico Nasty
I love this.
Langston Kerman
This was so fun. Could you tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?
Rico Nasty
Oh, my God. If y' all want to go find it, then go find it. The name is on here. You know what? That's what's crazy, right? You'd be like, what you want to plug? I mean, if you look up Rico Nasty on literally anything, it's only one Rico Nasty. So whatever you want to know, go ahead and look at at it. We got other interviews.
David
Yo, they're nice people. I gotta keep down to them.
Rico Nasty
What y' all want from when I shake you up?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, they cool.
Rico Nasty
We got the deluxe coming out.
Langston Kerman
Let's go.
David
Okay.
Rico Nasty
If any black baddies Watching this right.
David
Now with the fatties. Men or women.
Rico Nasty
Y' all seen what we said about fat asses. We need you to come to the front.
Langston Kerman
Come to the front.
Rico Nasty
Come to the front. No, but thank you guys for having me. And like, I know that your fans are cool as fuck because y' all are cool as fuck.
David
Oh, thank you very much.
Rico Nasty
Your fans are normally like a mirror. Yeah, sometimes. But me, me still calling shots. I'm like, yeah, you're going to have to prove it to me, guys.
Langston Kerman
Bori. What? You got.
David
This cool guy jokes 87 on Instagram, man.
Langston Kerman
Follow me at Langston Kerman. I think you can still see me on tour. I'm hitting a fan on the aspiring deadbeat tour. And you can send us your drops, your conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us what you think about the way that Rico spoke to you, send it all to mymamapodmail. If you wanna give us a call, call us at 844-LIL-Moms, buy the merch. Take care of yourselves. Bye, bitch.
Rico Nasty
I'm a very good bad boy. I'm a very good bad boy.
Langston Kerman
My Mama told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's big money Players Network.
David
And I heart podcast, created and hosted.
Langston Kerman
By Langston Kearney, co hosted by David.
David
Bore executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Joel Monique co produced by Bay Wayne edited and engineered by Justin Coffee.
Langston Kerman
Music by Nick Chick Chambers.
David
Artwork by Dogon Krieger.
Langston Kerman
You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama told Me and subscribe to our channel.
Pets Best Insurance Ad Voice
Season two of unrivaled basketball is here and the talent is unreal. The best women's players on the planet are running it back with even bigger bigger moments and bigger stakes. Don't miss as Paige Beckers, Nafiza Collier, Kelsey Plumb, Brianna Stewart and more take the court and redefine the game. This isn't your regular season. This is unrivaled where the pace is faster, the energy is higher and every athlete shines unrivaled basketball season two, sponsored by Samsung Galaxy Tips off January 5th on TNT, TruTV and HBO.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Max Amazon Five Star Theater presents Real customer reviews performance formed by Ed Helms. Tonight's review tactical jacket. I was living a simple life. Didn't get out much. Then I bought this jacket and everything changed. Women came flocking to me from lands domestic and foreign. On the 245 day sailboat voyage home.
Langston Kerman
I was attacked by a shark.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
I knew it was the jacket. He was was after giving up the jacket in exchange for my life. 5 stars Amazon Customer 69 Shop the perfect gift this holiday on Amazon.
David
This is Julian Edelman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jewels. Sunday mornings I've got my game day ritual, coffee, Lucky socks and now new Morning Uncrustable Sandwiches.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
It's all about that 12 gram protein boost with the new Uncrustables Bright Eyed Berry or Up and Apple flavors.
David
Bright Eye Berries got a feisty receiver.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Energy up and Apple. Your classic Do it all tight end.
David
Soft, pillowy, packed with protein and easy enough for Grunk to grab from the freezer.
Lowe's/Amazon Ad Voice
Whether you're on the couch, driving to the Texas tailgate or heading to the locker room, new Morning Uncrustable Sandwiches are the MVP of snacks.
David
Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with New Morning Uncrustable sandwiches packed with 12 grams of protein.
Sophie Cunningham
This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or osa, in adults with obese obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snore loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA. This information is provided by Lily, A Medicine company.
Rico Nasty
This is an I Heart Podcast.
Starbucks Ad Voice
Guaranteed human.
Release Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Rico Nasty
This high-energy episode of "My Momma Told Me" features rapper and cultural lightning rod Rico Nasty joining comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie. The trio delves into the world of Black conspiracy theories with their trademark irreverence, humor, and casual wisdom. The centerpiece is the “big hat theory”—the idea that the bigger the hat, the more power or ego a person holds—but listeners get much more: hilarious coming-of-age stories, life lessons, pop culture hot takes, and reflections on authenticity, self-image, and cultural exchange.
The episode is loose, funny, and equal parts edgy and genuine—driven by Rico’s unfiltered storytelling, the hosts’ playful energy, and recurring riffs on conspiracy theories as Black folk wisdom. Language is direct, peppered with cussing and slang, and the group seamlessly moves from humor to moments of sincerity about identity, culture, and vulnerability. The recurring motif is embracing “being weird”, claiming your narrative (“booty boil” becomes legend), and the magic in community storytelling.
In this riotous, insightful installment, "My Momma Told Me" digs under the surface of pop culture, family lore, and the conspiracies we create to make sense of it all. The “big hat theory” is a launchpad for discussions of self-protection, status, and channeling energy. Rico Nasty’s presence powers the episode through frank, fast-paced exchanges touching on everything from childhood trauma to the gym as a microcosm of desire and envy, to the future of cosmetic enhancement. By episode’s end, listeners get a healthy dose of joy, relatability, and attuned social commentary—plus a sense that being “nasty” is less about shock and more about owning your story.
For newcomers: You’ll get myth-busting, realness, and a lot of laughs—plus a new appreciation for hats, body modifications, and why it’s ok if your childhood nickname was “Boyle Booty.”