The Ghost of Episodes Past: The War on Christmas

Summary

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Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me

Episode: "The Ghost of Episodes Past: The War on Christmas"

Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Al Jackson
Date: December 23, 2025
Podcast Network: Big Money Players Network / iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

This holiday episode of My Momma Told Me takes a hilarious deep dive into the so-called "War on Christmas," the perceived decline of Christmas traditions, and debates around Black holidays—especially Kwanzaa. Hosted by comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie, the episode centers on satirical and insightful banter, with guest Al Jackson sharing thoughts on the shifting relevance of Christmas, the potential rise of Kwanzaa, and how holidays are co-opted by mainstream American culture. The trio challenges common narratives, injects personal stories, and ultimately questions what it means to have—and keep—holidays rooted in Black community tradition.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Debunking the "War on Christmas" (03:07–08:50)

• The hosts examine the rightwing conspiracy about a "War on Christmas." David dismisses the idea as silly, arguing that Christmas is still the dominant holiday in America.
  • David: "80% of households in this country still celebrate Christmas. You win." [04:06]
  • The irritation some people feel about "Happy Holidays" is mocked.
  • Kwanzaa and Hanukkah are jokingly referenced as being treated with far less seriousness.
• Langston plays devil's advocate, suggesting some interpret pressure to say "Happy Holidays" as symbolic of America's changing values and demographics.
  • Langston: "This is a transforming nation. And they would claim that the transformation itself is being reflected in the holidays of it all." [07:14]

2. Religious Shifts and Holiday Participation (08:50–09:49)

• David and Langston poke fun at the concern that other religions might be "rising up" to replace Christmas, with David noting the only real new communities he's noticed are "witches and Scientologists," and even then, only in certain regions.

3. Historical Roots & Capitalism’s Role in Christmas (11:27–13:50)

• After a commercial break, Langston shares research that modern Christmas is a relatively recent invention, primarily popularized during the Charles Dickens era.
  • Christmas as we know it—with gift-giving, "cheer," and Santa—is a 19th-century cultural construct, not an ancient tradition.
  • Langston: "Even Christmas as we celebrate it is not like this ancient…generation after generation type thing." [11:27]
• David notes that capitalism quickly latched onto and fueled the holiday's expansion.
  • David: "Valentine’s Day, right? It’s the modern day. They got you to start spending money and that’s when it blew up." [12:50]

4. Christmas Spirit: Real or Manufactured? (14:28–18:23)

• The hosts discuss whether the “Christmas spirit” is a genuine moral shift or merely a byproduct of slower schedules and nostalgia.
  • Both admit being nicer during the holidays mostly due to having fewer obligations, not because the holiday itself inspires lasting virtue.
  • Langston explains feeling the Christmas spirit primarily through sharing joy with his child, illuminating how parenthood revives holiday excitement.
    • Langston: "My daughter now understands what it means to receive gifts...she’ll, like, see stuff and be like, I want to give that to my cousin, and that’s beautiful and sweet..." [16:13]

5. Kwanzaa: Rise of a Black Holiday? (24:29–30:13)

Al Jackson’s Theory: Kwanzaa is Poised for Growth

• Al Jackson admits he never celebrated Kwanzaa much as a child but suggests it could be the next big thing as Christmas’ appeal wanes for new generations.
  • Modern kids aren’t as excited about Christmas morning due to the year-round accessibility of gifts.
  • Al: "My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad...the excitement is gone." [26:43]
• Kwanzaa’s focus on unity and values, combined with the social media generation’s appetite for causes, could fuel its rise.
  • Al: "You get a couple big people on that...Christmas is wobbly." [28:50]
• The commodification of Black culture (e.g., Juneteenth) is discussed, and how holidays rapidly shift from niche observances to national celebrations with mainstream (often white) participation.

6. Commodification & Cultural Ownership of Black Holidays (33:24–46:09)

• Comparison to how Juneteenth and MLK Day became mainstream, often losing their deep cultural specificity.
  • Langston: "Juneteenth is now...ubiquitous with the American holiday experience." [35:04]
• David and Langston raise concerns over holidays shifting from in-group, meaningful celebrations to widely marketed, diluted events.
  • Examples: White participation in formerly Black-centric holidays, brand involvement in Pride Month.
  • Al: "It's the price of admission to be accepted by the greater United States or zeitgeist culture...you have to give up the 'this is ours.'" [44:47]
• Tension between the benefits of popularity (resources, recognition) and the risk of losing cultural control and authenticity.

7. State Black Holidays & Defining Authentic Celebrations (60:09–70:10)

• A rundown of various state-recognized Black holidays, e.g., Rosa Parks Day, Emancipation Day (with multiple dates), Malcolm X Day, Barack Obama Day, and even George Washington Carver Day.
• Discussion of "Black Bike Week" and HBCU homecomings as organically Black holidays that remain vibrant because there is no demand for outside (white) validation or participation.
  • Langston: "Black Bike Week remains a black holiday because we don't demand that they participate in the shit." [49:09]

8. Should Holidays Be Universal or In-House? (52:22–58:40)

• Exploration of whether Black holidays should be kept insular or pushed for widespread adoption.
  • Drawing lessons from ethnic street fairs and Pride parades: true celebrations often retain a sense of “outsider art,” mystifying nonmembers just enough to keep the core intact but not exclusive.
  • Langston: "True cultural celebration should feel almost like outsider art." [55:30]
• The value of more resources and infrastructure that come with national recognition is acknowledged (e.g., Juneteenth festival funding).
  • David: "If we're getting more resources to this thing, I do think of it as a net positive." [58:40]
• However, Langston remains skeptical that institutional support is worth the subsequent dilution and commercialization.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• David (on the supposed War on Christmas):
  "Shut up. Yeah, you're stupid. 80% of households in this country still celebrate Christmas. You win..." [04:06]
• Langston (on holiday spirit):
  "It's just an allegory. It's just a part of the year where we very briefly go, hey, we probably shouldn't be the worst version of ourselves right now..." [14:05]
• Al Jackson (on the kids’ reaction to Christmas):
  "My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad...the excitement is gone." [26:43]
• Al Jackson (on Kwanzaa’s future):
  "You get a couple big people on that...Christmas is wobbly." [28:50]
• David (on American commodification):
  "That's an American thing more so than it's even a black thing. What's being offered up in culture that isn't eventually gonna be co-opted by corporations?" [45:19]
• Al Jackson (on mainstreaming Black holidays):
  "It's the price of admission to be accepted by the greater United States or zeitgeist culture...you have to give up the 'this is ours.'" [44:47]

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Important Timestamps

• 03:07: Episode theme introduced: the myth of a "War on Christmas."
• 11:27: Research on the real history and capitalist influences behind Christmas.
• 14:28: Personal reflections on holiday behavior and nostalgia.
• 24:29: Al Jackson introduces his Kwanzaa “on the come up” theory.
• 33:24: How holidays move from niche to mainstream—Juneteenth as a case study.
• 40:04: Debate over the pros/cons of mainstream adoption of Black holidays.
• 49:09: Discussion of Black Bike Week and HBCU homecomings as "real" Black holidays.
• 52:22: Questioning the value of national recognition vs. cultural authenticity.
• 58:40: Debate about the impact of pouring public resources into Black holiday celebrations.
• 60:09–70:10: Sidebar on state Black holidays, the legacy of George Washington Carver, and the creation of Black holidays.
• 71:07: Listeners encouraged to suggest a My Momma Told Me holiday.

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Tone & Style

• The hosts and guest keep the discussion light, irreverent, and at times deeply insightful, blending jokes ("Big Kwanzaa in Detroit," [32:32]) with social commentary.
• Comedy is central—even as the podcast addresses serious questions about identity, commodification, and collective memory, laughter anchors the conversation.
• Self-deprecating asides (e.g., about parental duties, failed attempts to celebrate Kwanzaa, or holiday commercialism) make the conversation relatable even as it remains rooted in uniquely Black experiences.

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Takeaways for Non-Listeners

• The "War on Christmas" is skewered as a fabricated panic: Christmas is thriving, and holiday inclusion won’t erase it.
• Black holidays like Kwanzaa may soon experience a boom, possibly at the cost of authenticity, commercialized just as Juneteenth and Pride have been.
• Real "Black holidays" thrive when they’re for the culture, not out of a demand for mainstream acceptance or participation.
• The episode is equal parts sharp social critique and playful riffing, making it both meaningful and entertaining.

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For Further Engagement

• Listener Challenge: Suggest a new holiday the show could champion, with hosts promising to commit if it’s funny and Black enough [71:07].
• Merge & Merch: Multiple mentions of new show merchandise, connecting back to the episode’s capitalist holiday themes—satirically, of course.

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(End of summary)

Transcript

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

The government growing babies Microchips in your anus.

[David]

All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians have been in Turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome gentiles and little mamas alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast where.

[David]

We dive deep into the pockets of.

[Langston Kerman]

Black conspiracy and we finally work to prove that the bpm, the beats per minute of the Cupid Shuffle are engineered at a specific frequency that is meant to enter the black brain and create order in the black community. Casper, he wasn't just giving us a hit, he was giving us organization. Thank you for your work, sir. We miss you every day.

[David]

RIP Gone for not forgotten.

[Langston Kerman]

Gone but not forgotten. And I don't know that I know his real name.

[David]

I don't know. I don't Know his face.

[Langston Kerman]

I knew he had a Kango.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man, I knew it was an old nigga in a Kangol who I.

[David]

Am always inclined to listen to.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Believe it or not, we have a conspiracy for today. We talked about this right before we jumped on. But in light of the holiday season, it is, in fact, the holiday season, and we don't give a fuck which holiday that is for you.

[David]

I don't give a shit.

[Langston Kerman]

It doesn't mean a goddamn thing to us, but celebrate however you choose to celebrate. And in light of that, we said we were going to say, my mama told me there's a war on Christmas.

[David]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[David]

Come on. I love this one.

[Langston Kerman]

You love this. I was worried you. I was worried this wouldn't sit well with you, but I'm excited. Tell me everything you know.

[David]

Oh, I love it. Because I think it's for stupid people.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, the entire concept of a war on Christmas is for you.

[David]

Shut up. Yeah, you're stupid. 80% of households in this country still celebrate Christmas. You win. You win. We're not gonna overtake you white guys or your Judeo Christian holiday that all this consumerism is based around. We're so upside down. We got Jews celebrating Christmas. Yeah, I know a lot of Jewish people who do both. Christmas won. We won. It's not even a. Shut up. Oh. Cause you have to say happy Holidays. That's your big problem. It's still Christmas. You don't got to go to work on Christmas. You got to go to work every fucking day. Hanukkah, though.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

You're saying yeah?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. I don't. It does feel like.

[David]

I think legally you can't even ask for Kwanza off. I don't think you're even allowed to ask for it.

[Langston Kerman]

They like, hey, man, don't say that.

[David]

We know it's made up.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't say that, because now you're making me feel weird as a boss, and I. I ain't even want to be that guy, but, you know, I. You know, I'm not fucking giving you that stupid ass.

[David]

You know damn well you don't celebrate no Kwanzaa. Go break down these boxes.

[Langston Kerman]

You know good and God damn well I wasn't about to give you Kwanzaa days off.

[David]

Yo, I know we're Facebook friends. I saw you're throwing a party. I know you dj.

[Langston Kerman]

I know all your secrets, my man.

[David]

Yeah. Were you ever Facebook friends with, like, coworkers?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, when I was teaching. Yeah, I had a few that I was friends with, but I didn't.

[David]

I never, I never, like, maybe one or two. I never added them.

[Langston Kerman]

I, I, I knew which ones I could be and which ones I couldn't be. Like, there were some teachers who, like, if they saw me out partying, we're gonna bring judgment back to school. And then there were some that were like, I would have been there if you would have invited me. You know what I mean?

[David]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

This was in the Kraken days.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. This is when I was, this was when I was blacking out on Kraken. Yeah.

[David]

Blacking out Kraken.

[Langston Kerman]

I was blacking on Kraken, then waking.

[David]

Up and being like, so, kids, the Dewey Decimal System.

[Langston Kerman]

What did we think of Sylvia Palaf?

[David]

And they were like, Mr. Kraken, why do you smell like a bodega? They called you Mr. Kraken.

[Langston Kerman]

They knew already. They were like, this dude's drunk on Kraken. I could tell.

[David]

Oh, man. But yeah, So I say all that to say it's so funny. The war on all this stuff is like, do I think there are legitimate wars on some social constructs? Yeah, sure. Christmas, I don't think, is one worth even talking about.

[Langston Kerman]

I 100% agree. I wonder if there's any benefit to playing some devil's advocate inside of this.

[David]

Yeah, let's.

[Langston Kerman]

For the benefit of sort of like, let's create a little bit of chaos to be able to.

[David]

Oh, you don't want it to be this. You don't want it to be an 18 minute podcast.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I was hoping not to be. I think that, I think what they're, what people are claiming when they say that there is a war on Christmas is not just rooted in, in, like, the literal Happy Holidays of it all, but more in, like, the larger fear of the United States no longer reflecting the values that they claim it was built on. Right. That, like, this is a transforming nation. And they would claim that the transformation itself is being reflected in the holidays of it all.

[David]

Outside of. But that's what I'm saying. Outside of you having to say happy Holidays. Let's be honest. And I love him.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

I'll start by saying that I love him. Big fan. Is Islam really gaining?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no, I never thought about that at all. I'm not getting new recruits ever.

[David]

I don't think they're gaining. I think they're keeping it. I think they're keeping it. I think Shout out to Philadelphia. I think they're. I think they're doing good, but I don't think at least in my lifetime, I don't think there's been like some groundswell.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David]

Of any other religion. If anybody's coming up, it's the witches. That's the only bitches I've seen more of now than from when I was a kid. And nobody even believes you, you dizzy ding dong.

[Langston Kerman]

I would say it's. It's witches. And Scientologists are the only people that I've seen make a real fucking like, whoa, where'd that come from? You know?

[Medical Ad Voice]

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[David]

And even Scientologists. Do you know Scientologists who don't live in California? Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not a one.

[David]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

I've met some people that. That don't live in California that identify as former Scientologists in California. Yeah, they like, escaped and now they drive a cab in Minnesota and they're happier, but also got a story to tell. And even if you didn't ask for it, they're going to tell you.

[David]

Yeah, exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

But no, I don't know any active Scientologists in, like, fucking Chicago, bro.

[David]

I don't even know any Scientologists out of LA County.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm. You're saying you get to orange and they're like, I ain't doing that bullshit.

[David]

I think maybe you get to orange. I'm saying you go north. No, I got you like in the bay. I never knew anyone. And they got some weird religions up there. You could get away with pretty much anything.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[David]

So that's all I'm saying. With this.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, devastating news for those Muslims out there.

[David]

I can feel Carlos is like, he's firing up his computer right now.

[Langston Kerman]

He is typing with a ferocity he has never typed before.

[David]

I don't think he's typing. I think he's dictating to his girlfriend. Baby, tell him. It's egregious.

[Langston Kerman]

First of all, the fact that you think that man has a girlfriend is insane.

[David]

People can get girlfriends.

[Langston Kerman]

That's insane.

[David]

There's no way.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, I will say to the question of the war on Christmas, one of the things that I briefly looked up a few things as it relates to this conversation.

[David]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

But we need to throw to a break, so maybe we should. Yeah, let's take a break and then we'll come back and we'll talk about some of the brief research that I did relating to this. All right, we. Yeah, we'll be right back.

[Al Jackson]

Just talking.

[Langston Kerman]

My mama told me.

[David]

We are back.

[Langston Kerman]

Do. Ultimately, some of the research that I found does point to not there, in fact being a war on Christmas, but instead reminded me pretty quickly how Little Christmas is the tradition we think it is, that even Christmas as we celebrate it is not like this ancient fucking, you know, generation after generation after generation type thing. And they pretty much point to, like, Charles Dickens era, like America or fucking Britain, whatever, as the origin of Christmas as we understand it now. Right.

[David]

I mean, because the night before Christmas was like the first reference to Santa Claus, Right. You know that the poem twas the night before Christmas and all through the house and the creatures.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know if that's the first reference to Santa Claus, but it might be the first that sort of applies him the way that we understand him now. You know what I mean? That, like, there are iterations of Santa Claus that have existed for a really long time in other sort of, like, cultures and communities and shit, but they've never necessarily understood him as like, jolly good fellow who, like, eats cookies and sugar snaps and whatever the fuck.

[David]

I mean, it seems like Valentine's Day, right? It's like the modern day. They got you to start spending money and that's when it's blew up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think it. It sort of is all connected to, like, capitalism, right? That, like. So Charles Dickens, I guess, in some of his shit, starts to really write about Christmas not just as like a technical holiday that sort of is listed in the Bible and recognized, but he attaches morality to it where it becomes like sort of this sanctifying holiday where we are meant to share, spread cheer and share gifts and love and reconsider our. Our own choices and think about how we can be better people. All of that shit is, like, very new in his generation. And then suddenly people run with that because of capitalism. They're like, yeah, if you got to be a good person, then you better buy these gifts or these items to be able to justify your good.

[David]

Right, Right, right. And that's why I also don't care much about a war on it, to be honest. Yeah, I was gonna do what I was gonna do regardless. Like, what is the war? The war is attacking you, buying presents for people.

[Langston Kerman]

Right? It's not. It's just. This is just an allegory. It's just a part of the year where we very brief, briefly go, hey, we probably shouldn't be the worst version of ourselves right now because our family's around, because we're feeling nostalgic, whatever the fuck is the sort of, like, actual attachment. But, like, it's just an allegory.

[David]

Do you. Let me ask you, and I'll take it personal. Do you feel like your behavior personally Improves during Christmas.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I have less stuff to do.

[David]

Nigga. Same. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's easy to focus on relationships and shit when I don't. I don't really have a ton of gigs or nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think I slow down and so, like, I. I reflect on the things that are important to me in part because there are other part of the year where I ain't working that much and I do the same shit.

[David]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

But, yeah, if we're just all doing it collectively. All right, cool. That's tight.

[David]

All right. That's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Like, I think if everybody got a week off of work and just had to, like, chill and not really have to be stressed about a bunch of stuff, we'd be more moral people.

[David]

I think that's fair. I mean. Yeah. I mean, the constant grindstone of capitalism kills everybody. But do you feel like. Like, do you get caught in the Christmas spirit? Do you find yourself, like, out and you got the baby and your wife, and you're here, you're in Target, you're hearing the music. Maybe you got some eggnog in the cart, and, like, you're just feeling like, yeah, let me give this homeless guy five bucks.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But I think that's largely brought on by my kid. More than, like, the inner my kid. My family sort of makes that feel more.

[David]

You don't have to put it in the quotes, bro. Well, I plan to leave, so I.

[Langston Kerman]

Don'T want any legal connections. We were never a family.

[David]

I was your caretaker.

[Langston Kerman]

I was. I stayed here.

[David]

I didn't sign the birth certificate.

[Langston Kerman]

But, no, I think, like, you know, you feel all of the things because your kid is getting excited for the things. Like, my daughter now understands what it means to receive gifts, and obviously she gets excited for fucking Christmas and Santa Claus and all that shit. But she also is beginning to at least understand that there is a giving inside of, like, oh, that's adorable, too. And so, like, she'll, like, see stuff and be like, I want to give that to my cousin, and that's beautiful and sweet and to be some, like, fucking scrooge around. That doesn't. That's not human. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still a person. I'm just like, yeah, it's fucking beautiful. Yeah, I want some eggnog while I watch her, you know, stuff a teddy bear into a bag and call it a gift. That sounds.

[David]

That's a gift. Why'd you do that?

[Langston Kerman]

Because she's gonna stuff it dumb And I'll have to fix it because I'm a father. David.

[David]

I don't. Is that what that.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I'll have to put the bag down and she'll barely be able to get the teddy bear in. Cause her stupid little hands don't even work right yet. The synapses don't fully connect well enough. And she'll get distracted and want to color. And even though we agreed we were gonna wrap gifts and make this a sweet, beautiful thing, but for three seconds, she is sincerely going to try to stuff that bear into that bag. And she'll say it's for her cousin. And that's so meaningful to her. And I'm gonna enjoy that for that three seconds that I can.

[David]

You really paint a glowing portrait of family life.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, man, I couldn't be happier. I could not be happier.

[David]

All right. That's a good answer, though. That is a reasonable. That's a good. Because I don't really care about Christmas spirit at all, but I don't have a child.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's just you get certain things in your life that gets, you know, you rarely get to experience life again anew.

[David]

Right. Right. I mean, I do feel like as though I have a giving spirit. I just don't. It's not limited to. I get kind of more annoyed when it's limited. When it's asked to be limited to this time of year.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That it just becomes obligatory instead of.

[David]

Yeah. Yeah. Then it just becomes like, oh, this is just another job.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair. I can see that.

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Visit PLO.com to learn more. That's P L U V I CTO.com.

[Langston Kerman]

Our our guest today. You. You're already hearing from him. He. He. We're so happy he's here. We're in Denver. We're at Dude Idk Studios. The the the finest establishment we've ever been at in Denver. I would say we've never been anywhere else but this is the best.

[David]

Yeah, this is top tier. I shot my special in here.

[Langston Kerman]

You shot your special here?

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And it seems impossible, but.

[David]

Is this beanie crazy? You look like crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

You look gorgeous, man.

[David]

It's like a little guy. Cool beanie when you said I had a beanie, I was like, okay. And then it was like, smaller than I'm used to.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm sorry, man.

[David]

No, it's not. You didn't do anything. This was like. Because of the Santa hat, we had a whole debacle before.

[Langston Kerman]

Our guest today has nothing to do with any of this debacle.

[David]

I'm sorry, I just.

[Langston Kerman]

He's truly been a victim.

[Al Jackson]

The entire time I was staring at the beanie. Cause you can't tell how big they are. And then you go to tug down and pull it down over your ears, and it has no give.

[Langston Kerman]

It don't go.

[Al Jackson]

No give. And you're like, I gotta commit to this. But that's like. You need a tough. The hair beanie, and we don't have that.

[David]

Oh, so this is not good.

[Al Jackson]

No, it's a good look. You just gotta commit to it. It works with the jacket. Old school.

[David]

Cause you tossed it to me. It was lighter than I'm used to. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I was already like, material than this.

[David]

Yeah. This doesn't have the weight.

[Langston Kerman]

This don't feel like a beauty I'd be wearing.

[David]

I mean, I'm used to a 45. You gave me a 38.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm sorry, man.

[David]

It's okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I think you're doing fine. And I'm. I'm so happy that our guest.

[David]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

They're not wearing any shitty clothing. You look great.

[Al Jackson]

Paint on my pants. Like a concerned dad. This podcast, which I am so, like, yeah, Shout out.

[Langston Kerman]

Jesus person. I'm a huge fan of. You're a huge fan of. You know him from Comedy Central. You know him from his work on fx. You know, I'm from his work on the goddamn news. You do the news sometimes?

[Al Jackson]

I used to. That show has been canceled.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

Well, yeah, I did the news for seven years, man. You know, you in this business, Dave. You in this business. It's just like. That was a great run.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Do something else now.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you've done it all, and it all is amazing. And more importantly, you're an amazing comedian. And we're so happy he's here with us. Give it up for Al Jackson, everybody.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, do we have to say give it up when we all know each other and there's no one here?

[Langston Kerman]

We usually press a button and then there's like a sound effect that would follow it, and. And I didn't keep that in account when I said give it up, so.

[Al Jackson]

Well, I still appreciate it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, thank you.

[Al Jackson]

I'll take it.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, we're Glad you've changed your ways. We're glad you're here with us today on our most Christian episode, I would say.

[David]

Yeah. Merry Christmas.

[Langston Kerman]

Merry Christmas. It's our holiday episode. We're excited to have you here, Al. And you came to us with a conspiracy. You came to us with, I would say, a denser conspiracy than we're going to articulate it as. But we're excited to hear you fully unpack this thing. It's, I think, gonna evolve as you explain it. But you basically said, my mama told me Kwanzaa is on the come up.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Tell us everything you believe.

[David]

Please get into it.

[Al Jackson]

My relationship with Kwanzaa has been slight to non existent most of my life. My mom was a very progressive black woman. Like I always said, like, she had us eating quinoa, like in 89 when no one knew.

[David]

Damn.

[Al Jackson]

Like health food store. Like the same kind of store that has like carrot juice. You know, like one of them co ops where you like, why it smells weird in here. It smells like raw vegetables and radishes.

[Langston Kerman]

You like, why do I have to go to the bag?

[David]

Yeah, that doesn't seem right.

[Al Jackson]

It's like my mom was on that, grinding her own coffee bean. She was like, when everybody's going like yuppie, big cell phone. My mom was just very like, of progressive. And so she introduced Kwanzaa, but like introducing Kwanzaa in 1986 to a couple black kids in Cleveland, it's like, wait, one gift and no one knows what I'm talking about. And I don't know how to say it, and I won't say it like Kwanzaa. There was no place, there was no fertile ground for it to grow. But as I look at my kids, who are. I can't barely call them kids anymore. 17, 16 to 10. And how they react to not only Christmas, but Halloween, Thanksgiving, to a lesser extent. Kids don't care about their Halloween candy. They don't care about Christmas. Because before the Internet, if you wanted something, you threw hints all year. I want this. I want this mini dirt bike. And you say, January, March, November, throwing it out to Santa.

[David]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Now you could just get it. And so the immediacy. My kids get up on Christmas morning like a hungover dad. Like they'd be up like 9, like we were up at 4:30 getting yelled. Go back to bed. Parents still wrapping gifts down there, you know. So the idea of Christmas and the immediacy or the excitement of what they got is gone. It does not exist.

[David]

Interesting.

[Al Jackson]

And I look at These kids now, and that just on its own, is very creepy. But I look at these, like, girls, my dog. I look at these kids. Look at these kids.

[Langston Kerman]

They, like, they don't know I'm your dog.

[Al Jackson]

But no, it's like they are credibly, emotionally articulate. My daughter and her friends and the way they talk to each other, and they're like, sometimes we'll just get on a zoom call and we'll give each other positive affirmations. I'm like, what?

[Langston Kerman]

That's crazy, bro.

[David]

How old is she?

[Al Jackson]

Seventeen.

[David]

But, like, I know people 20 years older. I want my friends to do that.

[Al Jackson]

Can you imagine? Just like, hey, let me. Let me just call Dave and Lang and just be like, you were really good today.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, brother, you're doing great. You're inspiring.

[Al Jackson]

A lot of people coordinated. We are all calling at the same time on purpose. And my greater point to that is that they are a lot more. They're gonna be a lot less interested in celebrating a holiday like Christmas, where there's not a lot of. Unless it's a very religious thing for you. It's really just seen as like a gift giving and taking thing. Kwanzaa, I found out, happens after the day after Christmas, So it's the 26th to New Year, so it's that dead week. So there's territory there. It's one thing a day. One day is like unity. One day is like togetherness. And it's about, like. It's the kind of stuff that I wouldn't have even known what you were talking about had you suggested that. But I could see my daughters and also tiktokers getting this big and being like, today for unity, blah, blah, blah. You get a couple big people on that. And Kwanzaa, I'm saying Christmas is there to be nice. It's wobbly.

[Langston Kerman]

So you're saying, if I'm hearing you correctly, you're not necessarily tracking it rising yet. You're on some, like, future stock shit. Yeah, this is investing in pork belly for you.

[David]

And also, you're charting the drop of Christmas, right? You think Christmas is on the decline.

[Al Jackson]

Not on the decline. I think what we've seen is that for whatever lies we want to tell ourselves, most of these holidays are for adults, like Halloween. Yeah, we say trick or treating, but them kids are in the house by dusk. Ain't no late night trick or treatment. If there is, it's out in the suburbs. I live in Denver in a house in a nice, safe neighborhood, you know, And I've been there Right before COVID like four or five years, I don't think I've ever gotten a trick or treater. Houses are close to each other. It's. It was a neighborhood that's, like, built for. You could hit 10 houses.

[David]

Yeah, my neighborhood, too.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. But, like, now everybody throws their kids in the car and they go out to the suburbs. Because the suburbs can block off, like, the street, and then everybody pops their garages, and it's kind of like a dick measuring contest between houses. Like, yeah, you're giving out candy, but they got music in there. Wife's got her tits out.

[David]

Husband, you know, like, we're over here giving out scholarships.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Like really, you know, a chance for closeted extroverts to act like, oh, I'm just sexy Sherlock Holmes. It's like, all right, dog.

[David]

I mean, you don't see kids out the house in general anymore, but I used to see more, like, even within my neighborhood that's like yours, Klaus is close together, set up for trick or treating. Hardly anybody had any kind of lawn ornaments, any kind of lights. There just really wasn't a lot of it.

[Al Jackson]

The suburbs took all that when we.

[Langston Kerman]

Were kids, and I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. But when we were kids, it felt like we were terrorizing people's homes where the doorbell never stopped ringing. Like, if you shut your door, you were getting a ring, ring, ring all night long. And now even at my house, and I live in a pretty, walkable, very.

[David]

Nice, pleasant neighborhood, lots of houses around.

[Langston Kerman]

And we get some trick or treaters, but they don't bother us. If we turn the porch light off, it's over. Like, everybody's very, like, aware and respectful of the holiday. And so to circle this back to Christmas, if it sounds like I'm understanding you correctly, it's less that Christmas is disappearing, but more that we value it differently than we did as children.

[Al Jackson]

Absolutely. And only the people that. Like the kind of religious people that go to church on Christmas Eve or go to church Christmas Day or something like that. It really is almost like Thanksgiving. It's a holiday for older folks. Football and food. That's great for me. I'm damn near 50. But, like, my son don't care about football. He's 16. So, like, he's like, I don't eat that much. Like, Thanksgiving isn't a big deal to him.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Al Jackson]

And there's a space for Ra Kwanzaa. Ra Kwanzaa and just any other kind of holidays kind of go up and down. And I feel like there's just going to be adult holidays, because Halloween, I think, is almost fully adult, but just like, you need the kids for the beard of it, but really a lot. There's gonna be a younger generation that takes, like, a kind of fringe holiday, dusts it off and makes it their own.

[Langston Kerman]

I love the idea of the executives at Big Kwanzaa rubbing. They're rubbing their hands together.

[David]

We here at Big Kwanzaa in Detroit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Are you tired of Santa Claus dancing of your video? Come on over here to Big Kwanzaa.

[Al Jackson]

It's a thing. And then we're gonna have to watch the commodification of Kwanzaa, which is gonna be the most American thing you can do, is like, all these things that you think are so underground. As we look at, like, Snoop selling us fire pits outside.

[David]

We got some of that Snoop wine on Thanksgiving.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Wine is just like. I mean, all these things that were underground, now they're going to be used to market to you.

[Langston Kerman]

We were talking about this before you got here, but we. We were talking about how quickly Juneteenth got usurped as now a just general national holiday that everybody gets the day off for. Nobody had. You ain't gotta pray. You ain't gotta go thank your black neighbor, nothing. It's just, you get the day off and you ain't gotta talk about it. And it happened so fast, because four years ago, even I don't think I knew any white people who even knew what Juneteenth.

[David]

It wasn't up for discussion. It never came up.

[Langston Kerman]

No, like.

[David]

And they found out about that shit. And then white ladies got an Instagram filter and it was done.

[Langston Kerman]

And I don't. I mean, I'm not from the South. Y' all ain't from the South. It wasn't a thing for me growing up.

[Al Jackson]

Not at all.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Like, even in black households, it's not like everybody celebrated Juneteenth.

[Al Jackson]

You would get a calendar and it'd be like, Juneteenth was in the same genre as, like, you know how, like, there'll be a day that's like winter soul system on the calendar. You're like, what is that? You know what I'm saying?

[David]

It's the holiday in italics.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Arbor Day, where they have to.

[Al Jackson]

A law has been passed. They have to alert you that that's a. But it wasn't a thing. And then, like you said, out of nowhere, it's just like, you don't celebrate June. You don't think we should. I don't think most Americans, even to this day know exactly what it is. No, they probably heard it once, but just like, you know, people are just coming around on MLK Day.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And that's also a fascinating thing because I didn't realize, and this is my own ignorance, I didn't realize how recently MLK Day was a day. You know what I mean?

[David]

How recent is it? I don't know how recently it is.

[Langston Kerman]

MLK Day. They were fighting against it during the fucking, I think Bush administration.

[Al Jackson]

Arizona, Arizona wouldn't like. Cause what's it called? The Public Enemy had a song basically about it.

[David]

Oh, by the time I get to Arizona.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would just like, people would not. They would not take the day off just out of like clear defiance of just like, fuck that, dude.

[Langston Kerman]

It like didn't get declared a national holiday until like pretty recently.

[David]

Yeah, that's crazy. I guess we are. We're at least of the age where it's like, that's right when we would have been little kids enough to not know. Because I always recall it being. I always remember it, but damn, that's cold blooded.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, man. But to that point, Juneteenth is now. It seems pretty ubiquitous with like the American holiday experience. And then the same feels like it will happen to Kwanzaa. Should it get this inevitable.

[Al Jackson]

It'll be a clear dividing line between the generations. I think, like, I think it'll be a younger person thing and eventually they will be older, but for a while it will be like 24 year old students at NYU consciously celebrate it and get some kind of traction on the Internet from it. But your uncle would be like, what now?

[David]

It doesn't make sense. I see what you're saying. It's right for like, it's the perfect small cause for an Internet asshole to take up. Right. Like, that's the perfect thing. Everybody's heard of it, but it's still niche enough that you could be interesting by doing. It's a perfect way to pretend you're interesting.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you. Have you ever celebrated Kwanzaa in your adult life?

[David]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

No, not as a child, but not even as an adult.

[Al Jackson]

No. And maybe I was thinking since I have this take, I might next year, you know? Cause it's too late now to spring it on my kids. But that's what I said. They gonna be gone next year. I know.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, I know.

[Al Jackson]

It's like, that's my idol. I'd be like, I'm ready. Oh, y' all are college. All right then. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It's just gonna be one young child being annihilated by a new. A new holiday.

[David]

That would be so hard. And he knows his brother. He knows his siblings had Christmas.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[David]

And friends.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. It's like, yo, what'd you get for unity today?

[Langston Kerman]

Umoja.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, A lot of couscous.

[Langston Kerman]

It turns out me and my dad held hands in the kitchen and said what we're grateful for about each other.

[Al Jackson]

That's what it is. But the only time that that works, holding hands, talking about, like, hey, man, we live a good life, which I think we should do more often. I have tried to do with comics is that's a certain time of your life. That's like post college, until you get married, where you're trying to figure out who you are. And there's a space in there where you be open. It's also the same period of time where you're open to joining a cult, which is weird.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David]

What is the Kwanzaa greeting?

[Al Jackson]

Actually, it's Swahili based, so, like, I feel very uncomfortable. Black man from Cleveland. Swahili.

[Langston Kerman]

Many, many Kwanzas to you, brothers.

[David]

Okay, I like that.

[Al Jackson]

I like that. May Kwanzaa be with you.

[David]

The only Swahili word I know is jambo.

[Al Jackson]

What does that mean?

[David]

It means hello. I had a book when I was a kid called Jambo means hello. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. You read the title. You're like, got that.

[Al Jackson]

You know what, though? Highly effective, though.

[Medical Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

How many books do you read, do you remember years later?

[David]

A lot.

[Al Jackson]

It's impressive.

[David]

I read a lot of books as a kid. I don't read as many as an adult, but I read a shitload of books as a kid, man.

[Al Jackson]

I had ADHD or do, but, dude, I got Adderall, and it changed my life. I started being able to read. I got through college without ever really reading. I just had to listen because I couldn't read anything. And then I just went on a tear and I started reading everything.

[David]

Oh, no, I don't have it anymore. I'm. My brain is much. But as a kid, I was like, really?

[Al Jackson]

You feel it starting to go?

[Medical Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[David]

It's tough because I recently realized I ran out of, like, all the knowledge I acquired from reading in my youth. I got to the end. Does that make sense?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Like, the porch is over. And now I got to acquire new and the muscle atrophied from. Not like, I still read, but I read like four or five books in a year. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Al, before we wrap this thing, Up. I guess the question on my mind, you talked about the possibility that Kwanzaa could become more powerful. You talked about the possibility that Kwanzaa could be then overtaken by our white counterparts, that it would become sort of a universal holiday. My question for you is, do you think ultimately that would be a good thing for the growth. Is the growth of this holiday worth the squeeze of it becoming national and subsequently slightly white, if not completely?

[Al Jackson]

Well, there's nothing that's. If you do not cross over in a popular culture. Popular culture is not only all cultures, but definitely white culture. You are going to hit. You have a hard ceiling. Think about how many people are famous in the black community and people don't know who they are. You know, there's a lot of. If you don't cross that level into, like, where 13 year old white kids know who you are, 27 year old grad students know who you are. There's just a level to how far that you can go within any industry, anything. It's just. It's a numbers game.

[Langston Kerman]

Nick, you know who Allen Payne is. You do? Oh, okay.

[David]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Nick's one of us, though. You know what I'm saying?

[David]

Good.

[Langston Kerman]

Go.

[Al Jackson]

It's anyone. Without trying. That's. That's what black dudes really. If we feel like you're trying, it's like, all right. But yeah, there's this past Thanksgiving, just to keep it pretty recent. I was floored at the number of people that had never tasted or heard of sweet potato pie.

[David]

Never heard of it.

[Al Jackson]

Never heard of it. They heard of pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is our culture's baseline for a holiday pie. Sweet potato pie is baseline. Baseline for black. For black, yeah. That's the ceiling. And when people. My girl made it and when people tried it, they were like, oh, like, they were just like, why don't people eat this? It was just like some obs, like you came out with kiwi or something. They were like, oh, this is some weird. You know, it was just like dragon fruit.

[David]

Huh?

[Langston Kerman]

I'll try it.

[Al Jackson]

But yeah, this is gonna be popular. But it's like, that's the same thing with Kwanzaa. Is Kwanzaa gonna morph into pumpkin pie or is it gonna stay sweet potato pie? And that's the question.

[David]

Well, I would love for Patti LaBelle to make my Kwanzaa, so I'm into it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, Patti LaBelle does Kwanzaa pies. That'd be pretty cool.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, I can't imagine how good that'd be.

[David]

That's the crossover we've been waiting for.

[Langston Kerman]

Patty, get on the phone, baby girl.

[Al Jackson]

Come on.

[David]

It's right there.

[Langston Kerman]

We've been calling you. You gotta pick up.

[David]

It's right there.

[Langston Kerman]

We got a lot of ideas for you, Patty. But more importantly, we want Quanza to become very pop. I do worry about it, I guess, is maybe my concern is that I do think, I think about it a lot in terms of larger black conversations. Of how many things do we actually want to become as universal as we claim that we do that like, and it's something we see often on the Internet where people get upset when our culture becomes usurped and we feel like we deserve credit for the thing that was a very popular thing with these TikTok dances where black kids were creating these beautiful choreographed dances. And then a white girl would go and do it and become much more popular off of this shit. And a part of me goes, stop showing these motherfuckers that shit. Just keep it in house.

[David]

Do you think that the nature of Kwanzaa though is a little different than even that of a Juneteenth? Where it's like Juneteenth is like a celebration of a thing that happened in America, so it's able to be co opted where Kwanzaa is specifically created to be this like Pan Africanist, like holiday? I don't think that. So to that I guess I say I don't think it scales up. Cause I don't think that they get on board.

[Al Jackson]

Excuse me, I was just having this thought. I think the real, real time example that we have of it is pride.

[David]

Look how crossover straight white ladies love pride.

[Al Jackson]

And straight white guys go to pride because straight white ladies are at pride. And I know for a fact gay men, that was like, I used to get my ass kicked. My boyfriend got his teeth knocked out because we were holding hands in 1982 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. And now to see those same dudes at our parade, I'm sure infuriates them, but they're probably gay, younger LGBTQ folks that are like, but this is what we wanted. So it's the price of admission and the price of admission to be accepted by the greater United States or zeitgeist culture, whatever is, you have to give up the, this is ours. And you have to watch somebody who didn't give a fuck about it, commodify it and make money off it and act like they thought of it.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think that's really where I struggle with it, is the commodifying. I'm fine with it. Becoming a commodity we all benefit from. But when it starts becoming the type of commodity that like, truly, only the motherfuckers that didn't invest in it in the first place are the ones making the money off of it, it gets scary.

[Al Jackson]

Well, it's every. Look at the weed business, right? Look how many.

[David]

Yeah, it's going to be. Coca Cola has a Kwanzaa flavor.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's hard to know where this starts and stops, but I mean, I think.

[David]

That'S an American thing more so than it's even a black thing. Is it's like what's being offered up in culture that isn't eventually gonna be co opted by corporations.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. And I pray if we can wrap this thing up, I pray that Kwanzaa somehow becomes the miracle holiday. If there is a miracle inside of Kwanzaa, I think the miracle would be Kwanzaa, by some miracle, being the first holiday that remains at its core fully black, but also gains the popularity that it deserves in unifying black people.

[David]

Well, Langston, tis the season. I believe in this Kwanzaa Day miracle.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell yeah.

[David]

Kwanzaa Day. Kwanzaa week. What do they call the Menorah?

[Al Jackson]

The Menorah.

[David]

The Kwanzaa.

[Langston Kerman]

Menorah. Yeah, the Kwanzaa.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, I don't know.

[David]

Confusing.

[Langston Kerman]

The Kwanzaa stick.

[David]

The Kwanzaa stick.

[Al Jackson]

The Kwanzaa stick. And yeah. And when you see it at Target and it's better homes and living.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You know, there are no African Americans on that board.

[Langston Kerman]

When Hasbro has a game for Kwanzaa.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Target always wants some white kid stands up.

[David]

I win.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like I'm the king of Kwanzaa.

[Al Jackson]

But I mean, in a weird way, good for him because more people know about it. So it's. It's the constant struggle.

[David]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yikes. Al, you want to tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Al Jackson]

You can find me at Al Jackson on IG and you can listen to me on daytime Talk After Dark, where we. It's my old daily Blast live show, but we're right here in this here studio. Shout out, dude. IDK Studios for holding me down. Shout Out, Nick. Shout Out, Jacob. But yeah, and just check my website, Al JacksonLive for days. But mostly follow me on Instagram.

[David]

We are back. So I do wanna speak to. Because we came in talking about it and we kind of pulled from it. This idea is what we wanted to discuss. The idea that there are no black holidays anymore.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That there Are. There are no. And when we say black holidays, at least we maybe should clarify that, like, there are technically black holidays, right? That, like Juneteenth being an example of one, Martin Luther King Day being another. I think those are technically. If my research.

[David]

I feel like those are the two.

[Langston Kerman]

I think those are the only two national holidays relating to black history.

[David]

But that seems very.

[Langston Kerman]

It's loose.

[David]

It's very loose that month. It feels like. Do you feel like. Because when was Black History Month enacted? It feels like within our lifetime, right?

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's not in our lifetime. I actually looked it up. The original sort of like, introduction of what would eventually become Black history month was 1916.

[David]

Oh, wow. I didn't know that.

[Langston Kerman]

It basically was introduced at first as like a Black History day. Carter G. Woodson is given the credit for sort of the initiation of it all. But it was like, it started as like a day of commemoration and then a week. Negro Achievement Week, I believe it was originally called.

[David]

I think maybe we keep that name.

[Langston Kerman]

Negro Achievement Week right after Black Bike.

[David]

Week.

[Langston Kerman]

Is Black Beach Week, Black Bike Week, and Negro Achievement Week.

[David]

That's your whole summer break, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

But even that. Even that I think is such a good example of, like, Black Bike Week remains a black holiday because we don't demand that they participate in the shit.

[David]

Okay, I see what you're saying.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? Like, them n in Myrtle beach. Just keep being themselves in Myrtle beach on their bikes with their weird, used to be bad bitch ladies. Because we should pull up. Can we get.

[David]

Will we get. We should get Will Ferrell to send us to Black Bike Week, bro, if.

[Langston Kerman]

We went to Black Bike Week and hosted a live episode.

[David]

Let's go.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know that we'll survive, but I'd have fun.

[David]

You go out doing what you love.

[Langston Kerman]

If I'm going to die, kill me at Black Bike Week.

[David]

I don't want to ride one of the motorcycles, but I want to sit on a motorcycle that's the color of tropical Starbust Starburst. Starburst is weird.

[Langston Kerman]

And I thought you could pronounce it different now. I was like, oh, that's cool.

[David]

It was playing so Rough, so Tough by Zappin Roger, come on, man. They look, every time I see an old black guy on a motorcycle with loud music, I get jealous.

[Langston Kerman]

That'd be so cool. They would hate our guts. But, man, would we have fun down there.

[David]

Who cares, man?

[Langston Kerman]

It's not about that.

[David]

It's about having. I just want, man. I just. This is. This Is true. I just typed in Black bike week into YouTube, and the first thing I see is a lady on a giant white and pink motorcycle and then another lady walking by with a T shirt that says big Booties matter.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[David]

Which I didn't even know was in Contestant.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it keeps ebbing and flowing. I think there was a period where white people hated him, and then they embraced them mostly on their own bodies. And now I think they're pushing back against them again.

[David]

Okay, well, either way, Black Bike. But I see what you're saying.

[Langston Kerman]

Black Bike Week, that's a real holiday. That's a real black holiday. Fucking homecoming, even. Yeah, that.

[David]

What is it?

[Langston Kerman]

The Howard homecoming is like a real black holiday that remains black because they don't then go, hey, white people, you must be a part of this. You must prove that you recognize our commitment to our culture. It's like, no, just leave them out of this.

[David]

I mean. Cause also, force is not maybe the way. I think there is a point to where forced acceptance is necessary, whether it be like, integrating schools and stuff like that. But things like a holiday, I just don't know if that's ultimately does what you want it to. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It is worth noting that Carter G. Woodson, basically, he hoped that others would popularize the findings and sort of like, the culture of all the things that he was doing with the Negro History Week, whatever it was called. And then that eventually snowballed into what we now understand to be the, you know, February Black History Month.

[David]

Right, right, right. No, I.

[Langston Kerman]

So it. It wasn't. And even I think. Where did I read it? There was something I read that basically said that even as he was sort of like, building this thing, the intention wasn't as much of like, oh, we're just gonna, like, spend a month making, you know, crediting all of the things that black people do in February. I always was what it got assigned. He picked February. He was like, nah, February's the move. Why Woodson chose February for reasons of tradition and reform. It is commonly said that Woodson selected February to encompass the birthdays of two great Americans who played a prominent role in shaping black history, namely Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass, whose birthdays are the 12th and the 14th. And I remember reading that it wasn't so much that he was like, oh, I love Abraham Lincoln and I love Frederick Douglass for, like, their work, but he was. Well, he basically was like, there's a lot of shit happening all at once. So February sort of makes sense. If we're going to be able to build this thing.

[David]

Right? Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

So it had its intention. And you know, I know every month, every year we complain that it's the shortest month and what an odd choice that that would be the one for black people. But it turns out the black dude that made it wanted it that way.

[David]

I also don't the shortest month thing is like a bit.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David]

That's not really my issue with it.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's not like I'm celebrating Black History Month every day. The whole month anyway.

[David]

Well, and I almost think that that is my issue with it is that it becomes so long that it is diluted as opposed to like some kind of. What did he say? Nigga Advancement Malik.

[Langston Kerman]

Nigga do better, Nigga do better day.

[David]

I mean but. But there is something to like, you can't keep it because I don't think any month ascribe to a people outside of that group of people. Listen, a lot of people talk about Pride month. It's not people outside of that community as much. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And I will say that again and I'd be curious to talk to a queer person about some of the co opting of pride. Even that like you see fucking the second that June 1st hits, every brand is sort of like transforming their logos and putting up flags and sort of screaming about their embrace of like queer culture. And it's like I don't know that they mean that shit. And I don't know that that helps queer people in any honest way.

[David]

Right. I mean, man, bro, I. At least the pride that I've been to within San Francisco, when I lived there, it almost felt less. It was just a party. It was just a street party.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

I saw a lot of hetero heterosexual stuff going on to be, you know what I mean? A ton.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think it should. It should feel a little. I think true cultural celebration should feel almost like outsider art. They should feel like something that like a average person can't just walk into and make sense of because it is. It is honest to the culture and not just, you know, fucking, you know, a cliff notes of what culture is.

[David]

Right. That being said, I do love an ethnic street fair.

[Langston Kerman]

It's awesome.

[David]

Yeah. I was out with the lowriders on Cinco de Mayo and that's my birthday.

[Langston Kerman]

I went to. There's like an Italian fair, street fair that happens in New York one time.

[David]

And like isn't that everyday New York?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, sure, but this is the one they acknowledged. But it was like in Little Italy and, like, they had, like, a bunch of foods I had never heard of. It wasn't. You know what I mean? This is Italian street. I'm like, all right. Spaghetti and the rest. And nah, they were eating all kinds of shit. I had never heard of doing weird stuff. And I was like, this is cool. I never been a part of this, bro.

[David]

I love any. Tell me. I will pull up on any ethnic street fair. It's like, the greatest.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's fun, man.

[David]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And so I do. I think maybe that's what I wish the energy was for our holidays is more. It is something that you could pull up on as a white person. I don't want it to be exclusive, but I don't want it to be something where you just sort of reap the benefits without ever having to interact with us directly.

[David]

I will say, I do like the idea of. With it becoming a national holiday. I like the idea of resources being poured into it that wouldn't have been before because, like, we went to. We went to Jazz Fest yesterday and, like, in. In Five Points, which is a, like, historically black neighborhood or whatever. And, like, they got signs for. They're having a Juneteenth street festival in which Lil Bow Wow is performing.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell, yeah.

[David]

And, like, I don't know if that. Because it's, like, city funded, and I don't know if that would have been able to be as big before that.

[Langston Kerman]

Without the national recognition.

[David]

Right. And I think that's cool. And I wish that I'm gonna be in Canada for Juneteenth because I make great decisions.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, man.

[Al Jackson]

But.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[David]

I think that's great. I think that's great for kids. I think putting some infrastructure around it allows it to ultimately grow. So it is like, I don't know, what are we asking for? Because if we are asking to keep it insular to the point that we can't worry about what they're doing, okay, yeah. Some of them are gonna take it off and not care and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But if we're getting more resources to this thing, I do think of it as a net positive.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I just wonder about the way the resources are actually being used. Like, to your point, I think that's great. That little Bow Wow.

[David]

Bow wow don't do that.

[Langston Kerman]

That grown Bow Wow.

[David]

Shad Moss.

[Langston Kerman]

Shad Moss.

[David]

Durag magnate.

[Langston Kerman]

Can be. Can. Can find funding and. Or rather, this organization can find funding to pay Shad Moss to appear at their festival. On the flip side, I resent the fact that that funding is only disseminated at the point that we are fighting for a national holiday, I think that that funding should have existed years before it did, regardless of whether Shad Moss is available or not.

[David]

Also, I'll give you $2,500 if you want to book Shad Moss.

[Langston Kerman]

You think that's all it costs to book Shad Moss? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[David]

Me and my friend, we were. We were talking about it though. He said he thinks five. I said I think 10.

[Langston Kerman]

To get bow wow to perform? Yeah, I think it's way more than 10.

[David]

You think it's way more than 10?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think he's good. I think he's. He's asking for 20 plus, and I think maybe settling at 15. Yeah, maybe he settles at 15, but I think he's definitely showing up asking for like 20 to 50. And then they talk him down because where else is he gonna be?

[David]

Denver on Juneteenth?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Shout out.

[Langston Kerman]

One of the things I also looked up was the list of other black holidays. There are apparently a ton of state holidays as it relates to black stuff. There's a Rosa Parks Day that is either February 4th or December 1st. I don't quite understand. It's celebrated. The states that celebrated are Alabama, California, Michigan, Missouri, Ohio, Oregon, Tennessee, and Texas. There's Emancipation Day, which apparently what we were talking about is. And this is fucking crazy, it's either March 22, April 16, or May 20, or July 3 or November 1, bro. And it, I think, depends on the state. And the states are Florida, Maryland, Puerto Rico, Washington D.C. puerto Rico, bro. I'm just telling you what they said. And the United States Virgin Islands apparently celebrates this.

[David]

That makes me so mad about my homes state. Puerto Rico. Does it? Yeah, they know. Black puppy.

[Langston Kerman]

You got a voice in there. There you go.

[David]

I didn't do it, though.

[Langston Kerman]

You noticed you didn't do it to the full extent of your power.

[David]

I said it in my voice. And that's kind of a workaround that.

[Langston Kerman]

How you cheat the system. There's Harriet Tubman Day, which this one is March 10th. There is no debate about it. Only Maryland apparently celebrates it. It commemorates the death of Harriet Tubman, which feels odd. There's Malcolm X Day, which Illinois is the only place that celebrates it. May 19th. And that's the birth. Yeah, we got it. That's the birthday of Malcolm X. There's Barack Obama Day. That's also in Illinois. It's August 4th, the birthday of Barack Obama.

[David]

Hawaii said no Comment.

[Langston Kerman]

And Kenya was like, we celebrate too.

[David]

Huge festival in Nairobi.

[Langston Kerman]

We love Barack Obama Day. Put us on the motherfucking map, baby. There's. There's Transit Equity Day or Equal Transit Equality Day. I assume that has something to do.

[David]

With black people on the bus.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, the bus boycotts. And that's in Wisconsin for some reason on February 4th. And it's on the birthday of Rosa Parks. And then finally there's George Washington Carver Day, February 4th 1st. And that's only in Iowa. What? Look, man, there are also some other crazy.

[David]

Didn't George Washington Carver work at Tuskegee out. Was he born in Iowa?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't. I've never known George Washington Carver to have anything to do with Iowa.

[David]

Neither have I.

[Langston Kerman]

Apparently he's a big Iowa.

[David]

No, he was born in Diamond, Missouri.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David]

He went to Iowa State as well.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, there we go.

[David]

Okay, that makes some sense. I went to his house when I was a kid.

[Langston Kerman]

Was he there?

[David]

We went to his house. We went to Booker T's house.

[Langston Kerman]

He was like.

[David]

He was like, david, it's me, Judge Washington cousin. I talk like this cause my balls can't cut off. Does anybody know that about me? I don't know if maybe this was good that you have that back.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm back, baby.

[David]

I. No, wait. You say his boss got cut off.

[Langston Kerman]

There's a conspiracy theory. I'm surprised we haven't talked about this together on the podcast. It certainly has come up. There is a conspiracy theory that George Washington Carver had a surprisingly high pitched voice because he was castrated as a boy. He was born into slavery and was castrated and then was freed and obviously did a bunch of cool shit. But the theory is that his voice was really, really high because of his castration. It's the same theory that people had about Michael Jackson's high voice. Although that was obviously proven wrong by all the people who are like, nah, that nigga's voice was real deep. He was being silly.

[David]

He sounded like pretty good.

[Langston Kerman]

What if everybody from Gary just talks like Freddie?

[David]

That's what I've assumed. Always. Is that. Do you not. As men, women.

[Langston Kerman]

What I would love if there's a listener with the know how is to redo that doo doo audio. But now with Freddie saying it, Michael Jackson, you got to do the video too. It's got to be video of Michael Jackson saying there was doo doo everywhere. But it's with Freddie gives his voice instead.

[David]

They could for sure do that. They did that AI Wagwan, Delilah Drake shit. You can't do everywhere with Freddie Gibbs.

[Langston Kerman]

I was really surprised that that was AI. I thought Drake had fully been broken by Kendrick.

[David]

I listen to it more times than I care to admit.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[David]

It's really funny, man. It's funny how they talk there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

Maybe we start talking in Toronto accents and then we, like, carry it over.

[Langston Kerman]

Ugh, I hate the Toronto accent so much.

[David]

It's so funny, though.

[Langston Kerman]

It's cartoonish. It's like they.

[David]

They're all cartoonish. You ever heard a white guy from Chicago?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that's fair.

[David]

They're all cartoony. It's all funny.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No accent is. Is without its flaws, I guess.

[David]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Which is why we deserve to say a man. It's why we deserve to have some fun with it.

[David]

I'm going to start with the Canadians and then work my way down.

[Langston Kerman]

That's smart.

[David]

Hey, fam, you cheesed? What do they say? Hey there, bud. Hey, I'm the Canadian bud.

[Langston Kerman]

But that's what makes it makes me so mad about it because they talk like that, but then they say, like, weird Caribbean words and that's meant to be like tough guy shit.

[David]

In the same world, Caribbeans go everywhere. The Caribbean people go everywhere. It's the same reason British people do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, let me say this, Caribbean people need to stop.

[David]

Whoa, whoa.

[Langston Kerman]

Y' all need to sit the fuck down. Yo, the same issue I have with Juneteenth.

[David]

You real bad, man.

[Langston Kerman]

You're spreading yourself too wide and you're making it so that your culture is now being, like, misappropriated by a bunch of white, weird Canadians. And I don't like that. And Drake is wrong, but you're wronger. So sit the fuck down somewhere and stop chilling with all these people.

[David]

Oh, man, that's.

[Langston Kerman]

That.

[David]

They're not. It's just. They just go places and are cool. Listen, I'm for it. Caribbean people pool.

[Langston Kerman]

Nope, nope.

[David]

Listen, Caribbean people, I say. Keep it going.

[Langston Kerman]

We're calling upon you because we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are now selling, and it's fucking great. We love it so much.

[David]

It's sleek, it's sexy.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on. You want to tell them what we have?

[David]

Yeah. We have three different types of hats, which is really fun. We have a two tone hat, alien dad hat. The traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with the alien who has a koofie on it, says my mama told me. And then we have T shirts that say proud little mama, which is who you are.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You can buy the merch now. Go to mymamatoldme.merchtable.com. it's a brand new name, but it's the same old merch. And we would love for you to get some if you haven't got it already. And we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so get it. The last thing I'll tell you in this. This actually made me laugh pretty hard. There are a bunch of other black holidays. Jackie Robinson Day, African American Music Appreciation Month, which apparently is June. Obviously, there's Kwanzaa, which unfortunately has been treated with such lack of seriousness that nobody will treat it like a real holiday.

[David]

I mean, you could bring it back.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't have that kind of energy or commitment.

[David]

But me, I believe Christmas House.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I believe in whoever has that kind of strength, but it's not me. But my personal favorite. This is my personal favorite day that I read on the list. Apparently, there is a Kunta Kinte Day. Kunta Kinte Heritage Festival. That happens.

[David]

He's not real.

[Langston Kerman]

It happens in Annapolis, Maryland. It remarks the arrival of Kunta Kinte, which. Maybe he was real. I don't understand. No. When you look it up, it's the picture of Levar Burton as Kunta Kendi.

[David]

Fuck you.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, Wait, no. Yeah. Yes. Okay. He is a fictional character from the novel Roots.

[David]

Was Roots a Fictional. But I've never read Roots.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's fictional. And not only was it fictional, I believe that Alex Haley, the author, was later revealed to. Because he was saying this was all based on real shit. And then it later got revealed that all of it was just him, like, fucking around like none of it was. Was rooted in any real truth of anything. So, yeah, it's all made up. But the fact that there's a Kunta Kinte Heritage Day is nuts.

[Podcast Announcer]

Fuck.

[Langston Kerman]

But God damn it, that might be our only black holiday. So we gotta kind of take it where it is, you know what I mean? Because maybe Kunta Kinte Day is, like, fucking the blackest thing out there.

[David]

Olivia's saying this is the moment for us to start our own holiday.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh.

[David]

She said Goofy Friday.

[Langston Kerman]

I will.

[David]

Maybe we'll workshop it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I don't think. I don't think we can make it a weekly thing, and I don't think Koofy Friday is. Is quite right. But, yeah, listeners, if you're inspired, maybe send us your thoughts on what could be the My Mama Told Me Inspired holiday.

[David]

Listen, if you guys do a good job next year, we'll commit to it. We will do a live show.

[Langston Kerman]

We'll do a live show to celebrate the holiday. We'll wear traditional garb. Yep. We'll create traditional garb that we will wear on the holiday. We will fully commit to selling this holiday. You pick the date. You pick the theme. We will pick the best of the themes and suggestions.

[David]

Yes. Also, you picked the location.

[Langston Kerman]

Pick the location. It's gotta be a black.

[David]

Do all the work for us.

[Langston Kerman]

It's gotta be a black location. Yeah, don't come and be like, ah, we're gonna do it in Vail. You're like, no, I don't know why.

[David]

My state caught it straight.

[Langston Kerman]

You know why.

[David]

Yeah, I do. I don't know exactly why.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, we want it to be somewhere black and we want it to be something cool. So don't come with bullshit. But it also has to be funny.

[David]

It has to be funny.

[Langston Kerman]

We like funny stuff at this podcast, Bory. You want to tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on.

[David]

Run the whole catalog back. We want to be on all of your Spotify raps next year. Am I going to share them? Probably not. It gives me anxiety, but I do love to see it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David]

And in the meantime, you know, you can follow me on Instagram oolguyjokes87. You know, just doing some local shows around town. I still have some leftover tour merch. Go to bring davidaplate.com buy up some of that and you know, just Kwanzaa. Oh, yeah, and get. We have [e-mail] yeah, so go buy the merch again.

[Langston Kerman]

My mama told me.merchcentral.com there's lots of cool hats and pins and T shirts and that's it. But you can buy any of that stuff and then you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all the cool social media platforms. I love new followers. So come on over. Come rest on my knee if that's what you need. Over here at old at Langston Kerman's house. And as always, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us how there is in fact a war on Kwanzaa, please send it all to mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. Follow the podcast. Subscribe. Like, do all the shit that you're supposed to do. I ain't gonna say no more. Bye.

[David]

And he died on the cross to take sin away. You take him High you take him, low you take jc.

[Langston Kerman]

Where else you go?

[Commercial Voice]

The government growing babies microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist.

[David]

The ozone layer owes me money. Marshes invented turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Podcast Announcer]

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