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Garrick Bernard
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Langston Kerman
On the road, we've had a couple times where, like, we'll go and do, like, live shows, and then afterwards, the fucking club will try to write a check to. My mama told Me. It's like, bitch, dude.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
It's a company.
David Bore
Yeah. It does feel crazy to be like that doesn't exist.
Langston Kerman
What are you talking about?
Garrick Bernard
The cash. It's a podcast. Put it to the tubio, write it
Langston Kerman
out to the local strip club. Me and my man got business to do.
Garrick Bernard
Come on.
David Bore
I'll cash it there. They know I'm coming.
Garrick Bernard
Going in an order. Give me crystal in the back.
David Bore
They already took the wing money out.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
David Bore
I said it's Denise there.
Garrick Bernard
You know it's Denise.
David Bore
The government growing babies. Microchips in your ants. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians have been in dirty stuff. Y' all can't tell me nothing for the bitch. You said I shot some shit up out of my dick. Now she's sick. She better lay low. Welcome to Mama's Gentiles Alike to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me,
Langston Kerman
the podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories
David Bore
and we finally work to prove the conspiracies of anyone. Truly.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
We're open.
David Bore
The Internet at large.
Langston Kerman
We're open. We prefer black. We.
David Bore
That's what we. That's my top one.
Langston Kerman
That's what we were aiming at. But if you white and you got a pretty good one, we'll talk about it with you.
David Bore
Also, if you're Asian, let us know.
Garrick Bernard
Just in general, you gotta tell us.
Langston Kerman
You gotta tell us. The law says you gotta tell us.
David Bore
We're making a list and checking it twice. There's a lot of Johns out here.
Garrick Bernard
There's a lot of Johns. There's a lot of Johns. Christianity really fucked this up, yo.
David Bore
I feel.
Langston Kerman
I feel.
David Bore
Is it weird that, like, I feel worse for Korean Christians than, like, black Christians?
Garrick Bernard
Because it's so far. That's what I'm saying.
David Bore
It wasn't even supposed to be over there.
Garrick Bernard
No, not at all.
David Bore
It was like, black Americans. I'm like, okay, I get it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You guys, were.
Garrick Bernard
You really. That was, like, dedicated. That's not. You just stumbling across.
David Bore
That's what I'm saying.
Garrick Bernard
Across the place. You went out to Korea.
David Bore
That's what I'm saying.
Langston Kerman
What it is, too, is that they on wax have so much invention on their own that y' all had your own things. And we know about. They've erased our history.
David Bore
We don't even know what we were up to. And that's why you. And then you needed a God then.
Garrick Bernard
Right?
David Bore
And I get that. That, like, makes sense. But they were back there. They got great stuff going on. I'm not, like, hating baby man. Snack food, technology, breakdancing.
Garrick Bernard
Let's go, K Pop.
David Bore
That's a good car.
Langston Kerman
Better than hamsters. Come on.
David Bore
That's an affordable vehicle.
Garrick Bernard
That was the best super bowl commercial
David Bore
of all time,
Garrick Bernard
man.
David Bore
Oh, you know what I was thinking? Yeah. I was thinking this on a plane. I think that the takedown of the black streetwear explosion in the late 90s. I think he was an inside job. I think Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger did it together.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, my God. Wow.
David Bore
Because they're the only ones that stood through the whole thing. And they took all these pictures next to rappers, smiling, knowing they were gonna take that shit out. You're saying because street wear and I dress like shit. Yeah, but I'm saying relax.
Garrick Bernard
I didn't mean relax. You know that. You know when you. I feel like when you dress a certain way and also know the history of fashion, that means that you're fashionable, you just choose not.
David Bore
That's what it is. I am a conscience. Just subject. Like I'm not going to know.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, well.
Langston Kerman
Well, that's. I didn't mean yes as in you dress like shit. I meant that you take no pride in fashion in that way.
David Bore
I. I have a hard time convincing myself it's not mostly a distraction. Used to fuck people up.
Garrick Bernard
There it is.
David Bore
Yeah. I have a hard time with it. And then you watch all that shit on just, like, the amount of waste and stuff like that. And then just, like, how it was like in general, anyway. The whole point of it was the dalliance. That's not the point. What I'm saying is. Remember when it was going crazy? Echo.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Sean John Fat Farm.
David Bore
Sean John Fat Farm. Rockaway. It was going nuts. You know what else they all had? Plus sizes.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
You get a 3 XL fat farm sweater vest. That's not what that's.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, it feels like. It feels like you want some bigger.
David Bore
But what I'm saying is. Okay. Okay, maybe it is for the biggest cause, but because at the end of the day, they all went away. Who's still there for me? Who's there? What's the first brand? When I Click on dxl dot com. This Polo Ralph Lauren. I got some in my backpack right now.
Langston Kerman
I will say that is a fascinating thing about Ralph Lauren is he is the only person, like, from the beginning, in high fashion, that was like, nah, I gotta make it for the big motherfuckers.
Garrick Bernard
Which.
David Bore
What is that about? Because it's synonymous. It's not a community, per se, but it is like, you are young, you're fat, you get your first check. You're black, you get polo.
Langston Kerman
When I know most people of my age range, like a big dude. If we're going out and you gotta dress up and you don't wear polo, I'm surprised there's a gay or somewhere.
Garrick Bernard
I'm actually upset about you.
Langston Kerman
I'm absent, yo.
David Bore
No, I got it in the bag.
Garrick Bernard
Just in case. Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
Just in case. I didn't even plan. I was just like, let me just. Let me just practice. Just in case. Just in case. I don't know what I'm gonna get into. Right. When I'm out there, anything can happen. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I might have to keep a phone on me.
Garrick Bernard
You rely. I keep that thing.
Langston Kerman
I keep that thing.
David Bore
I got that bear in my pocket. And thank you to that bear. God bless that bear. That bear got me through some hard time. That bear afforded me. I should not have gotten.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, but they saw. They saw the Ralph Lauren.
David Bore
They saw the Ralph Lauren. And.
Langston Kerman
And to your point, I think the fact that they have stood this. The test of time could easily be to the fact that they were maybe the only white players in that side of the game.
David Bore
Right.
Langston Kerman
Or it could be that the two white players sabotage the other parties at.
Garrick Bernard
Who was the one that was, like, upset at rappers for wearing his. His stuff?
David Bore
That is a great question.
Langston Kerman
It's a complicated question because that is Tommy Hilfiger.
Garrick Bernard
Tommy Hilfiger.
Langston Kerman
But that's not true.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, it's not true.
Langston Kerman
There is no truth to any of it.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, my God. My mom lied to me.
David Bore
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. As did both of ours. My mom was big on that. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
I think because she didn't want to put. You know what I mean? Because all of a sudden, now I got a Perry Ellis. No one respects me.
Langston Kerman
No.
Garrick Bernard
At all.
David Bore
No one on the bus respects me. No.
Garrick Bernard
Everybody's like, Perry Ellis. That's lame, bro.
David Bore
Harry Ellis. It might as well be Polo Club.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. It's in the same font as Tommy Hilberry. Come on.
David Bore
It's U.S. polo Association. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. I got this from Burlington Perry.
Langston Kerman
Saw an opening. He tried to get in.
David Bore
That sucks. Hate Perry Ellis, our guest today. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Langston Kerman
We've already been talking to him. He's been a part of our lives as long as we can remember. He's the best.
Garrick Bernard
He's.
Langston Kerman
He's a hilarious comedian you've seen all over the Internet, Comedy Central, the likes of. He's an actor. He's been in many, many projects performing as an actor. He is a writer of notes. He's written on amazing things. He's currently writing on Rick and Morty. God damn it. He does it all. A dear friend. Give it up for Garrick Bernard.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, man. Hey. Thanks for having me, dog.
David Bore
People who were in slavery wish that they had curbside service at Applebee's.
Langston Kerman
Well, it's the truest statement I've ever heard.
Garrick Bernard
It's a maybe.
David Bore
I don't think anything's wrong with it.
Garrick Bernard
I don't think anything's wrong with that at all. I think the only thing wrong with it is that it was coming from a white dude. Clearly.
Langston Kerman
But also, unfortunately, it sounds like it
David Bore
was coming from Don Lemon. God damn it.
Garrick Bernard
Fuck it.
David Bore
Again.
Garrick Bernard
Always Don Lemon.
David Bore
Don Lemon.
Langston Kerman
I'm pretty sure, if my memory serves me correct, I think that's Don Lemon saying that, man.
Garrick Bernard
Don Lemon, he'll always catch you off guard.
David Bore
Yeah. He'll get you.
Garrick Bernard
He'll get you. That's nuts.
Langston Kerman
Do y' all remember and I.
Garrick Bernard
We'll.
Langston Kerman
We'll get to you. You're a lovely man. We're so happy you're here. Do y' all remember that Don Lemon used to be the bad guy?
David Bore
Yeah. Yes.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Like, he wasn't just, like. Like, neutral and shit. Like, Don Lemon was the literal. We would.
Garrick Bernard
We.
Langston Kerman
He was Candace Owens.
David Bore
Yeah, he's a bad guy. He was Candace Owens.
Garrick Bernard
He was the respectability politics guy.
Langston Kerman
And then he just did that gear shift one year. Was like, I'm gay. I was tripping. What's up? And then we kind of let him in.
David Bore
Hey, this is gonna sound crazy. We need to allow gay people to be evil.
Langston Kerman
Oh, interesting.
David Bore
I thought there was. I didn't know.
Garrick Bernard
I thought that.
David Bore
You see how I backed up a little bit.
Langston Kerman
Say what you think, David.
David Bore
No, I think it's true equality if people can be bad.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Bore
So I think we need. You can't. You can't just be like, I'm gay. And that was a. Yeah, I'm a good person. Suck my dick. Which is actually not homophobic.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, yeah, that's real. That's real shit.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I don't disagree with you.
David Bore
You had to corner on it.
Langston Kerman
I was listening.
David Bore
Whoa, whoa.
Langston Kerman
I was listening. And we haven't even talked about poor Lavar Ball's foot.
David Bore
Oh, I saw that video where he said he grew it back.
Garrick Bernard
You see that? He grew it back like piccolo.
David Bore
We. If anybody could do that, though it is, it's Levar.
Garrick Bernard
I absolutely.
Langston Kerman
I don't know that there's a man on this earth that I believe in more at this point.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah.
Garrick Bernard
All three sons. All three sons are very, very successful.
Langston Kerman
Like, in a way that we. I at least have to acknowledge in front of you. I've certainly told you I did not believe in him before.
Garrick Bernard
No.
Langston Kerman
Like, I was not a faithful from the beginning. You talked about it. He bought Big Baller brands.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, really?
David Bore
I paid money for a shirt that I never received.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, okay.
Langston Kerman
Well, he tried to buy Big Baller brand. He wanted to be an early investor in the whole program. And I didn't believe in it for a second, but once I saw what he was doing, I had to acknowledge that this is a man who defies all logic, all odds. He is maybe the Messiah. And in that way, I will never doubt him again.
David Bore
No, I think he speaks truth to power.
Garrick Bernard
I think so.
David Bore
Especially when you see back in the day, him talking about what kind of player Lonzo was going to be versus where it's like, he knew because he never had anything great to say about Jello.
Garrick Bernard
He's just like, oh, yeah, well, my two boys. That middle one, he a little weird,
David Bore
but he's strong as hell.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. That boy big like me.
Garrick Bernard
He big. And it's like, oh, that's not.
Langston Kerman
That's not a compliment.
David Bore
Big dog.
Garrick Bernard
I don't know. I don't know if you really have a leg to stand home with that. I'm sorry.
Langston Kerman
Okay. Okay. That's the way you introduce yourself.
David Bore
That's exactly what we're here for.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Yeah.
David Bore
But wait, what did happen to us? I am worried about his health.
Langston Kerman
I don't know. I think I.
David Bore
You can't just. They don't just take your leg.
Langston Kerman
No, I. I think I read it somewhere that it was like some sort of vein disease or, like, condition. It wasn't. It wasn't like, oh. I mean, good news would be like, oh, you had cancer and we had to cut it off. It wasn't that.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
It sounded like maybe you could have taken slightly better care of yourself and
David Bore
here we need him for a long time.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. I can't have that shit get to, like, his heart.
David Bore
No, I would like him to eventually get some kind of office. Yeah, yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Like political office.
David Bore
What if we give him Doge?
Langston Kerman
No.
David Bore
Okay.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Some of us aren't progressing.
Langston Kerman
I think. I think we want him to earn that. I think you get him in the door and you see what he does with it. I don't think. I think with this type of power comes a certain responsibility and we need. We can't just thrust that up.
David Bore
Here's the thing I say about Lavar Ball. He is a sycophant to no man.
Garrick Bernard
Wow.
David Bore
Who's. Who's he bending the knee to?
Langston Kerman
Well, no one now anymore.
David Bore
I liked it before. I don't like it anymore.
Langston Kerman
He can't.
David Bore
I'm just saying. Levar. He's not gonna get pushed around.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's literally being pushed.
David Bore
He's gonna get one of those robot legs.
Langston Kerman
100.
Garrick Bernard
That'll be cool.
David Bore
I think it's gonna be like.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
I think we start the cyborg technology.
Langston Kerman
I want him to get the springy one.
David Bore
Oh, the sprinter South African who killed his.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, he stabbed the lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Bore
He's out.
Garrick Bernard
He's out.
David Bore
Yeah. He just got out.
Garrick Bernard
They let him out.
David Bore
He just got out.
Garrick Bernard
Wow.
Langston Kerman
Think he'll do the pot?
Garrick Bernard
He should.
Langston Kerman
He is white African.
David Bore
That's not the thing.
Garrick Bernard
Apartheid, you know what you're doing? Hey, apartheid, you know what you're doing?
David Bore
We don't. No white South African. Will Ferrell is. Okay.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
I feel like that's a slippery. You let white South Africans in. That's a slip.
Garrick Bernard
Slippery.
Langston Kerman
No, they're. They're. They started a lot of this shit.
David Bore
Yeah. Ultimately they're Dutch and you know how we've talked about that. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
I watched the. The Color of Friendship last night. Oh. Is an old Disney Channel original and it is about an apartheid white South African doing a student exchange to a black family in dc.
David Bore
So glad Disney took that on.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Really weirdly. Very well done.
Langston Kerman
Oh, you think so?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. I was like, oh, this is kind of a lot for a Disney Channel original. And it was like. It came out in like 2000 or something.
David Bore
Johnny Tsunami era.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, that era. This is the era of them trying to like, hey, we need to tackle the tough shit for our kids. That type of era.
Langston Kerman
I like that you measure time by Johnny Tsunami.
Garrick Bernard
That's a big one.
David Bore
It was pre imposed.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Yeah. But there was a time they were trying to court. They also had the famous Jet Jackson.
Garrick Bernard
Famous Jet Jackson.
David Bore
He was a cool guy.
Langston Kerman
God damn. I thought that was the coolest.
Garrick Bernard
That was Michael B. Jordan before he popped off. I think that he actually told him to kill himself. Fuck. Maybe we.
David Bore
Maybe this is the door we opened. That's crazy. That's crazy.
Garrick Bernard
He was like, hey, yo, I'm gonna need that spot, big dog.
David Bore
Cause he would have been better.
Garrick Bernard
He would have been better.
David Bore
Lee Thompson Young would've.
Garrick Bernard
He would have gone the off. He has hazel eyes. He just stared at you.
David Bore
I really thought he could do anything.
Garrick Bernard
He was stunning, man. But he had, you know, just.
David Bore
Don't talk about how great the famous Jet Jackson was.
Garrick Bernard
No, he was.
Langston Kerman
He was like Will Smith cool. He had, like, locked into something that, like, I. I don't think I've ever. I ever say it out loud, because I'm afraid I just liked him more than everyone else did.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
David Bore
Yeah, maybe.
Langston Kerman
There was, like, this.
Garrick Bernard
There was, like, something about him where I was just like, oh, this is what the peak man is, you know? So I'm less than.
David Bore
I felt less than.
Garrick Bernard
I felt very insecure.
David Bore
I felt like a jb.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it really. He really has something. And, man, we lost someone special.
David Bore
That shit was fucked up. That was the best Disney Channel show,
Langston Kerman
I think, for me.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And you know what?
Garrick Bernard
Crazy. That's.
David Bore
I don't remember a single episode.
Garrick Bernard
Me neither.
David Bore
I don't know what the. I think he was on a TV show.
Garrick Bernard
He was on a TV show, but he was also, like, a spy or something.
Langston Kerman
He was a real spy pretending to be a fake spy.
Garrick Bernard
Okay.
Langston Kerman
But also going to high school.
David Bore
Yeah, but he also had time. He was making mixes, too. You remember that? I remember his grandma came into his room one time and he's like, hey, Grandma, wanna listen to my mix? Full turntables and mixer setup.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Cause I could do anything.
Langston Kerman
He just had a gift for all things. Yeah, but he wanted to be a regular kid.
David Bore
Anyone willing to suck that dick like lbj.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Lty said, no way.
Garrick Bernard
He didn't do it. He said, no way. He's like, oh, well.
David Bore
They were like, we're gonna put you in clerk's five.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
And that's the ultimate. The ultimate downturn of a career.
David Bore
He was supposed to be a Good Will Hunting. He said, no, no, no, no, no. Mr. Weinstein.
Langston Kerman
Garrick. You came to us with a conspiracy. And frankly, I don't know that we need to cover it at this point.
David Bore
That's the thing about the Topsy.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, man. We've hit a lot of hot spots already. This almost feels like we gave y' all an Episode. Yeah.
David Bore
You're welcome.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
You're done. Congratulations. But you came to us with a conspiracy. I excited about that. I'm surprised we haven't covered in a full way yet. Yeah.
David Bore
It has not. I feel like it's come up, like, in passing, but I don't think never
Langston Kerman
as a full topic. But you came to us and you said, my mama told me the Mandela effect is real.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Tell us everything. You.
Garrick Bernard
It is real. The Mandela effect, basically, is everybody having a different memory of. It's basically like kind of revisionist history a little bit where they're just. Everybody has a different memory of what happened to Nelson Mandela when he was in prison. And that's what we feel like is the shift of two different parallel universes kind of colliding.
Langston Kerman
I say.
David Bore
I always thought it was the Mandala Effect, and I was just remembering the name of the effect. Wrong.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Holy.
Garrick Bernard
Wow. So you.
Langston Kerman
But you didn't. You didn't associate it with Nelson Mandela.
David Bore
No, I associated with the Bear Steen Bears versus Bear Steam. That was the first time I ever
Langston Kerman
heard of as it's framed. You never knew about the Mandela roots?
David Bore
No. What are they. They don't think he went to prison.
Garrick Bernard
I think he went to prison, but a lot of people think that he died in jail.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
But he did not die in jail.
David Bore
He went on a big press tour.
Garrick Bernard
He went on a press tour after huge.
David Bore
They pushed down our throats. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
No, he was in jail as terrorist. He never was a celebrated. You know what I mean? Like in the public eye. They did not treat him as a celebrated.
David Bore
I'm talking about when he got out.
Langston Kerman
That's what I'm saying. The Mandela we know is the out. So I'm agreeing with him. Is that it's crazy that people would think he was dead in prison without.
David Bore
He died in.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Yeah. But there was. It was another. There was another civil rights terrorist in apartheid Africa that did die in jail.
David Bore
Oh.
Garrick Bernard
And that became. And that became the Nelson Mandela.
Langston Kerman
I got you.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And you.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Knowing all that.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
That. That people believe that he died.
Garrick Bernard
Yep.
Langston Kerman
And most of them are stupid.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
Then go. There is legitimacy.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
To this claim.
Garrick Bernard
Yes. Because there. No, no.
David Bore
My question is Mandela specifically, you're talking about. Or in other things?
Garrick Bernard
There's other things because there's the Bear Steen Bears and the Bear Stain Bears. I don't even remember how that shit was spelled, but I remember both of them. And then there's also Shazam and Kazaam.
David Bore
That one. That one's Fucked up.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
The Sinbad joint.
Garrick Bernard
The Sinbad one versus the Shaq joint versus the Shaq one.
Langston Kerman
Well, there is no Sinbad one.
David Bore
That's what I'm saying.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And that's what fucks me up is I legitimately remember Sinbad as a genie.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
Langston Kerman
And I don't know what to do about that.
David Bore
It does feel like some shit he would do.
Langston Kerman
It feels a hundred percent. Even as I'm saying it now, I'm picturing him in my head.
David Bore
That's so cool.
Langston Kerman
In the genie costume.
Garrick Bernard
I could picture him in the genie costume on the VHS tape. Like on the, on the box cover. Like that's. It's wild how I would always say Kazam or Shazam. I. I can't say for sure which one it is.
Langston Kerman
No.
David Bore
I don't know if you have memories of Shaq, because my memory is of the Shaq.
Garrick Bernard
I remember the Shaq one. I remember. Yep.
David Bore
And he did Cheeseburgers from the sky.
Garrick Bernard
Cheeseburgers from the sky. And the, the, the, the goat eyes or whatever. He ate goat eyes or something?
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, he ate goat.
David Bore
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
It was like.
Langston Kerman
I never saw the film.
Garrick Bernard
It's fantastic.
David Bore
You saw Kazam.
Garrick Bernard
You saw, you saw Sim. I think I saw Universe. I knew you were.
David Bore
Alternate timeline aspect.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, alternate timeline aspect, fellas.
David Bore
What you saying?
Garrick Bernard
No, no, no, no. We knew. Yeah. How is it? Is it with an A or with a D?
Langston Kerman
Did Jamie Foxx have freckles or not?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, right, right, right.
David Bore
Is that one.
Langston Kerman
That's Cal Williams claim is that he's a clone because the Jamie Foxx we knew didn't have freckles. And this new Jamie Foxx has a fuck ton of freckles for some reason. And I do not know why this nigga has freckles.
David Bore
That is scary.
Garrick Bernard
That's gotta be an age thing, right? Like, that's gotta be like the Morgan
Langston Kerman
Freeman joint they're in. Cute ass box.
Garrick Bernard
You know what I mean? Oh, but also, he's like a lying theater kid. So like he could be putting those on like sizzle was for a while, you know?
David Bore
Oh, you think he would go that far?
Garrick Bernard
I think so. I think so.
David Bore
But who's it to attract? He's already Jamie Foxx.
Garrick Bernard
I know, but like he, you know, I mean, he dated like Idina Menzel, didn't he? Or, or he.
Langston Kerman
He's dated.
Garrick Bernard
Or.
Langston Kerman
Is that a plethora of white women? Yeah, like what's her name? Tom Cruise's? Katie. Yeah, that's Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were together For a while. That's actually his main boo that I think of when I think, okay, that's
David Bore
why he talks about it in the
Langston Kerman
special of not dating white girls. There's somebody more recently that he split with. It might have been Idina Manziel that I think has prompted him being like, I'm done with white women. But he is.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. He's a theater kid, bro.
Langston Kerman
That dude loves.
David Bore
Is that what it is? Is that why he's so talented?
Garrick Bernard
I think so.
David Bore
Because he's the most talented.
Garrick Bernard
He's the most talented, I would say.
David Bore
I don't think anybody could really.
Garrick Bernard
Because when. When people do the ego, they usually get the Grammy from doing, like, stand up or something like that. But he did it off a full, like, albums. I liked those albums, and they were really good.
David Bore
Come on.
Garrick Bernard
Fantastic.
David Bore
Living on the alcohol. That was a whole season.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. That's nuts. Because, like, unpredictable.
Langston Kerman
God damn. That to his grandma.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
The sad song.
Garrick Bernard
He is the most talented. Like, just moving from thing to thing. Like, there's. I don't think there's anybody, really.
David Bore
You should see him naked in the post.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, man. Crazy beautiful. Yeah, because y' all the butt naked basketball, man.
Langston Kerman
Of course. We're always at the butt naked basketball.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
It's never far.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, God.
Langston Kerman
So you are a believer in this?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Do you feel that this is something that we should be doing something about?
Garrick Bernard
I don't know. Because I feel like so with the collision of parallel universes and whatnot, where what I fully believe is that there's just a group of people that I wholeheartedly do not agree with. And they get to just, like, walk around kind of being very, very wrong. And they look at me in the same way or in the same light in the same way, where you're like, no. The Fruit of the Loom logo had a cornucopia behind it. And I'm like, it fucking never did. You know, like, that whole shit.
David Bore
Cause now I'm one of those people.
Garrick Bernard
You're wrong. Yeah. See, that's not. I feel like.
Langston Kerman
I thought it was the cornucopias I've always.
David Bore
I've had. Cause I had that from Tighty Whitey.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, right.
Langston Kerman
And that's what makes this shit so complicated to me, is because a moment ago, you boys picked on me.
Garrick Bernard
Remember, we created this nasty river, and
Langston Kerman
you said that we were from. You were from a different dimension, and I was the weirdo. But now we're aligning, and I noticed you didn't step up.
David Bore
You didn't Say, strange bitch.
Garrick Bernard
Strange bitch. Strange motherfucker. No, no, no.
Langston Kerman
You left me. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah. This nigga, I guess he can speak.
David Bore
It might be colorism.
Langston Kerman
It's colorism. It's a nasty, nasty case of colorism.
David Bore
Yeah, yeah, that's all. Listen, that's what happens. Because every time there's a can't read, ooga booga monkey joke.
Langston Kerman
Yep.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, they look so.
David Bore
You know what? Sometimes I'm trying to team up. Sometimes I'm trying to team up.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
See, that's why Kendrick can't make hits. That's why he can't make pop hits. Because everybody's just like, you dumb, dark bitch. And so he's like, all right, well, I gotta be lyrical. I gotta see, see.
David Bore
All right, fair enough.
Garrick Bernard
That's what it's always been, bro. They always think we stupid.
Langston Kerman
I'm glad your boy had a fun year. He had a. I'm glad he had a fun year.
Garrick Bernard
It's gonna be over soon and I don't care.
David Bore
It was worth it. It was worth it.
Langston Kerman
It went crazy.
Garrick Bernard
All right, so. But yeah, I think that with. With everything. Those small, like, differences in, like, how these people grew up from this separate dimension.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Them colliding with our dimension and then, like, having those small differences and having those small, like, varying opinions on things can, like, grow into devastating effects. And that's where I feel like, y' all gotta go, bro. I know this is kind of weird and kind of, like, far fetched a little bit.
David Bore
Are you suggesting, like, a final solution?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, yeah. We gotta figure out who. Figure we gotta figure out. It's like a.
David Bore
You don't gotta do that. Relax. They're watching.
Garrick Bernard
It's like somebody. Yeah, you gotta. Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
Y' all heard that, right?
David Bore
Hey, I ain't gotta tell you this one.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Garrick Bernard
No, he said that. He said that live on air. Live on air.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. He don't give a. Oh, damn.
Garrick Bernard
They gotta go, bro.
David Bore
I don't even think jail gonna fix him.
Langston Kerman
Y' all gonna have to just put him down.
David Bore
He's sick. Wait. Here's my question, though. If that is what it is, then. Then it becomes that the nature of these things are always fractioning and breaking off. Yeah, yeah. If, like. Let's say that I can exist in the. Through the Loom timeline with you, but in the Kazam timeline with you, then they're constantly. So then what's.
Langston Kerman
Well, what.
David Bore
What's. What's. What's it worth the. Why intervene at all?
Langston Kerman
Here's here's. And I've been thinking about this. That's a feeling I've also been wrestling with. And what I think makes more sense to me.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Or rather what makes this issue sometimes confusing is this suggestion of a constant inner looping of these dimensions that like it's always this bleeding coming in from a different dimension or vice versa, whatever the fuck. And I think what makes more sense is that there was a collision event that maybe at one point like a, like a Kazam Big bang.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, big bang. Is that the Mandela though? Is that, is that a loop? Or maybe.
Langston Kerman
Maybe there's a source event that sort of becomes the big one that we all feel. I don't know what that might be.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
So what you're saying is we're spinning off more and more.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I'm saying that until we have to. A bleed happened.
Garrick Bernard
We gotta get the lights.
Langston Kerman
See, now you're being nasty again.
David Bore
Now you're being nasty.
Garrick Bernard
Guess what? Now this is happening. Oh God, he was being handsome.
David Bore
Oh man.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
No, I, no, but I think, I think in that instant you create a bunch of bleed. But then on top of that those people that bled begin to cross pollinate. They start having, you know, relationships and building lives in a new dimension which then produces these sort of cross dimensional beings that now live, you know, sort of with the identities of a person slightly askew.
Garrick Bernard
Yes.
David Bore
Because now they. Their timeline or whatever is. But I also don't know. This is already too heady for me. I also don't know how like linear universes are.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
And that does like, that's what I mean is like if it's not that linear, I don't think think it still doesn't seem like it would matter that much.
Langston Kerman
Meaning that like what's the chaos?
David Bore
What's the worst potential chaos?
Langston Kerman
Well, I think that's the point, right. Is that it's not as much of like this world ending chaos. It's these minor adjustments to your human experience.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. These small things. Because like if you, if you're like looking at like parallel universes in the first place, it's. It is just you essentially in like with infinite amounts of differing choices. So like if you know, I'm putting my left hand up in a parallel universe, somebody else is putting their right. I'm putting my right hand.
David Bore
But everything else is exactly, everything else
Garrick Bernard
is exactly the same as.
David Bore
So because there's an infinite amount of them.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
And it could be as small as putting his hand up or it could be. You're Putting your hand up. And another version of you is stabbing.
Garrick Bernard
Stabbing somebody.
David Bore
Right. And then another one.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Has two dicks. Exactly.
Garrick Bernard
That's exactly right. Absolutely. Absolutely.
David Bore
You probably merge that one.
Garrick Bernard
Right. But those.
Langston Kerman
You're looking for more dicks.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, okay.
David Bore
At least for a short amount of time. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
He's trying to have the shocker of
David Bore
dicks until I accomplish my goals.
Langston Kerman
I'm still trying to perfect the one I got.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, man, it is a lot to deal.
Langston Kerman
I ain't got a lot of space for learning a new dick yet.
David Bore
Here's the thing though. You got another dick. Nobody else got that.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. That's your cornucopia around the fruit alone.
David Bore
I don't even know where it would be. On the side on top.
Langston Kerman
I think you got to. I think it's one of those where you got to customize it.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, shit. Would it be on the side. Would be kind of wild though.
David Bore
No, I mean on the side of the current dick.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. No, I mean, yeah. Like, honestly, like if it was like two. Like a. Like, like a tuning fork.
Langston Kerman
Oh, I think you wanted it like
David Bore
a double barrel shotgun.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, double barrel. Oh, double the gird.
Langston Kerman
That's haunting.
David Bore
But then check it out. Check it out.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, okay, okay. Now we're. Now, now we're talking. Now we're talking. Dog.
Langston Kerman
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
David Bore
I don't know, man.
Garrick Bernard
Nobody wants that.
David Bore
Yeah, you don't want it.
Langston Kerman
Of course women want it, but they don't want to have to put those two weird dicks in to get it.
David Bore
They do once. And that's really all you need.
Garrick Bernard
Ok. All right. They want to try at least. At least once, man.
David Bore
You don't want to see three titties.
Langston Kerman
I'll be honest. I do. And I'll also be honest. I can't think of a better place to put it now. And that's bothering me.
David Bore
Yeah. That is because you didn't want. Because of the ooga booga inside of him. Doesn't want monkey to be right.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. That's not. Now you're trying to make up for lost time.
Garrick Bernard
We're back to it.
David Bore
It couldn't possibly be a good idea.
Garrick Bernard
I gotta go dicks. I gotta be the opposite way. Yeah, no, no, no. I get it.
David Bore
Fair enough.
Garrick Bernard
You're a dark skinned contrarian. That's what it is.
Langston Kerman
I can't believe this somehow got twisted back on me. This is nasty work you all are doing.
David Bore
I think we take a break and we come back and we get to the bottom of this.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Let's, let's take a break. We're gonna be back with more Garrick Bernard or My Mama told Me.
Commercial Announcer
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David Bore
Life with CIDP can be tough, but
Garrick Bernard
the Thrive team, a specialized squad of
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Langston Kerman
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Garrick Bernard
For joy.
David Bore
Watch Rare well Done, an all new reality series.
Garrick Bernard
Rare Rare well Done offers help and hope to people across the country who live with the rare disease CIDP. Watch the latest episode now exclusively on rarewelldone.com
Martha Stewart (Ad Segment)
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Langston Kerman
We're not gonna let Joe Biden and
David Bore
Kamala Harris cut America's meat. That's dead on that. That's dead on that. Put your uncircumcised dicks in the air.
Garrick Bernard
We're back.
Langston Kerman
I don't know why I'm doing it.
Garrick Bernard
What is the. What is the hooded symbol?
Langston Kerman
Twist.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, twist it. Twist. Twist.
Langston Kerman
You twist it, you make it look mangled. Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
This is why they won't let me be a rapper, because that would be my whole shit. Put your twisters up.
Garrick Bernard
Put your twisters up if your shit is weird Twizzlers. Put your Twizzlers up, baby.
Langston Kerman
Put your shit up. If your mom tried to make a
Garrick Bernard
point or you're foreign born.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Or you're foreign born or you're British.
Langston Kerman
We're back with more Garrett.
David Bore
Yeah, we're back.
Langston Kerman
We're still talking about the possibility that the Mandela effect is real. You maintain it is. I certainly am willing to entertain the possibility that it happened at a point. That's where I live right now, at least. Where are you in all of this?
David Bore
I mean, I think that I need more examples because I've never looked into it that deep. I need more. I mean, Kazam. Shazam. I'm a Shazam man. But then the cornucopia got my man feeling upset. We're partners.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
We have a business together.
Garrick Bernard
I don't like him feeling. I don't like him feeling bad.
Langston Kerman
My mama told me incorporated it.
Garrick Bernard
Of course.
David Bore
My mama told me Industries.
Langston Kerman
I found a list of 40 of them that we can discuss.
David Bore
Yeah. Just hit like, the big ones.
Langston Kerman
There's obviously Nelson Mandela dying in prison. There is Jif, not Jiffy. When you think about peanut butter, choosy moms choose Jiff. Jif. Did you ever imagine it with Jiffy? J. I F. F. Why?
David Bore
I. You know what I think about now? Do you remember when they came out with the berry infused peanut butter?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
That in my head is Jiffy with
Garrick Bernard
the Y. Yeah, that was the one with the. The strawberry in the middle or something like that.
David Bore
No, no, no, no, no. That's different. I know what you're talking about. The. Where it was strips of.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, strips. Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
No, no, no.
Langston Kerman
Strips.
David Bore
I'm talking about. They had an infused. Oh, it was like berry infused. But I remember it being Jiffy.
Langston Kerman
It probably was the competitor, Skippy, and
David Bore
I was like, skippy had the Turquoise.
Garrick Bernard
The turquoise top. Yeah.
David Bore
Yeah. Skippy's had them.
Langston Kerman
Seattle Mariners. I'm saying that the language conflation makes us remember Jiffy, as opposed to Jif, which is what it always was. Or it is a bleeding of dimensions.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Which is easier to believe.
David Bore
How come these are all millennial coded? Except for Mandela.
Garrick Bernard
It's all pre Internet stuff, which is fun.
Langston Kerman
Okay, yeah, let's talk about this. When you think of Febreze, how is it spelled?
David Bore
Breeze with a fe.
Langston Kerman
Breeze with an F E. Yeah. B R E E, Z E. That is not correct.
Garrick Bernard
See? See? It's fucking. That doesn't make any sense.
David Bore
What are you talking about?
Langston Kerman
Febreze is spelled F E. B R
Garrick Bernard
E, Z E. No, that's. That doesn't make any sense.
Martha Stewart (Ad Segment)
That's wrong.
Garrick Bernard
That's wrong. Febreze as a company is incorrect. It's. Yeah, yeah. They're wrong.
David Bore
Febreze with a fee. Fruh.
Langston Kerman
Fellas, I don't disagree with you, but that is apparently not true.
David Bore
Fuck. Okay, keep going. This is fucking me up. I don't like it.
Langston Kerman
Go ahead and spell Oscar Meyer for me.
David Bore
Papaloni has a first name. It's O S, C A R. My baloney has a second name. It's M A Y E R. M
Langston Kerman
A Y E R. And then I
Garrick Bernard
remember M E Y E R. Oh,
Langston Kerman
so M A Y E R is correct. M E Y E R is not correct. What the fuck?
Garrick Bernard
So I'm the one that's wrong.
David Bore
Maybe you can't read.
Garrick Bernard
But. But I'm like. I'm imagining the logo and everything, and there's an E after the M. It's.
Langston Kerman
It's a nasty thing that happens because it is very possible that we're just dumb.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And it's a lot of people trying to pretend they are not dumb via interdimensional time fucking travel.
Garrick Bernard
Way more fun.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
It is a lot better world.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
It just feels nicer than to be like, damn, I've been dumb the whole time. That's probably devastating for a lot of people when you're like, I can't be that.
Garrick Bernard
Which honestly goes back to the Korean Christianity of it all. Where I'm like, why would you not believe in the more fun thing if you're South Korean? Like, I would. I don't want to believe in Christianity. That's boring.
Langston Kerman
It's not fun.
Garrick Bernard
I'm trying to believe in the gods I want had. I want to have, like several.
David Bore
Is that what they had before? I don't know. Is it like a polytheistic I believe so.
Garrick Bernard
I believe it's a polytheistic situation.
Langston Kerman
Whoa. I truly have no idea.
David Bore
I don't know what they were on.
Langston Kerman
I will say that there's no way Christianity was the better option.
Garrick Bernard
No, it was a whiter option for sure.
David Bore
I don't think any indigenous religion. I don't think Christianity was ever the better option. No, I don't think that shit. I think they were fucking and eating berries or doing whatever, and white people hate people fucking.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, that's.
David Bore
If we could all agree with that.
Langston Kerman
Nobody's arguing with that. Yeah, that's where our timelines think.
David Bore
There we go.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, it is. Yes, it is.
David Bore
Is. That's when two become one.
Langston Kerman
Oh, yes.
Garrick Bernard
Circle of life.
Langston Kerman
Know what I'm talking about?
Garrick Bernard
Little something goes together. You get one big one.
Langston Kerman
Little something I've been working on.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Everybody put your twos up.
David Bore
Make a boy choose a twist.
Garrick Bernard
Look like this.
Langston Kerman
But you want it to look like this. Say, yeah.
David Bore
I'm trying to untangle the mind.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, my God, that's so nasty.
Langston Kerman
I'll hit you with a few more.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
And then. Well, let's take a break. No, we should take one more break, and then when we come back, we'll talk through the remaining examples. I think that's where. Okay, we're gonna be back with more. Garrick, Bernard.
Martha Stewart (Ad Segment)
More.
Langston Kerman
My mama told me,
Commercial Announcer
You know what quality feels like. You can see it in the way a fabric moves, recognize it in a flawless fit, and appreciate it in the details that make our styles unique. It's the standard Coldwater Creek has honored for over 40 years, derived from a rich Mountain west heritage and designed for today in styles that are distinctively Coldwater Creek. For a wardrobe you can count on season after season, visit coldwatercreek.com, shop new arrivals, and save 15% on purchases. $75 or more with code iHeart.
Garrick Bernard
Having MG can make cooking difficult. But over the years, I've found some
Commercial Announcer
really helpful tools and tips that I'm excited to share.
Garrick Bernard
Hi, I'm Alicia. I think cooking should always be fun, creative, and, of course, delicious. These black bean burgers are hearty, full
Commercial Announcer
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Garrick Bernard
You're gonna love them. Check out Alicia's black bean burger cooking video and other recipes. Full of tips and tricks for managing common MG symptoms while cooking only at mg-united.com Ready, let's cook.
Martha Stewart (Ad Segment)
Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret. Getting ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter beforehand so the paper grips and stays in place. Then lay down the Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper so drips and spills stay on the paper, not all over your kitchen counter. You can roll out dough, prep a party spread, or cook alongside family. When you're done, cleanup is as simple as lifting the paper and revealing that clean counter underneath. Effortless. You can use it for cooking and baking, prep and even crafting, especially when you need extra working space. Because when the mess is already handled, you can focus on what matters. The food, the people, and the moment. It may look effortless, but now you know. It's Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Take a tip from me. Wet it, set it, prep it, done. Make it easy. Make it with Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Available now in the Reynolds wrap aisle in Walmart.
Bethenny Frankel
This is Bethenny Frankel from Just be with Bethenny Frankel. Most dog food is marketing, not nutrition. That is why Biggie and Smalls eat just food for dogs. Real, 100% human grade food with ingredients I actually recognize. And yes, I do see the difference. Better digestion, healthier skin, more energy. Dogs that feel better. My babies, if you've been on the fence about switching, stop overthinking it. What's more important than your furry babies and their health? Go to justfoodfordogs.com right now and get 50% off your first box. No code needed. Just try it.
David Bore
Honey, we don't say the n word
Commercial Announcer
around 2 year olds.
Garrick Bernard
Why not?
Langston Kerman
Where do you stand on that cussing in front of our kids?
David Bore
Yeah, I don't.
Langston Kerman
I don't cuss in front of her.
David Bore
I think that's better.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I. Look.
David Bore
Kids who cuss are real trashy.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
They always smell like smoke.
Langston Kerman
There's a level of decency I just want you to start with. And if you become jaded and, you know, life happens, it will happen. Yeah. I don't need you to be the kid that, like, gets everybody saying at school. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Be that kid who's like, I know what sex is.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I'm starting you on a track that I don't even need you on.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
My kid watches PBS shows.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
And I want. I want to keep you right there as long as you're willing to be there. And then we can have a different conversation.
Garrick Bernard
Right.
David Bore
That makes sense.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
That makes total sense.
Langston Kerman
I don't know. Oh, more examples.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Let's talk about this. The Monopoly man. When you imagine him, describe the basic details.
David Bore
Black shoes, gray pants, waistcoat, hat, monocle.
Langston Kerman
Monocle.
David Bore
Running, running.
Langston Kerman
Running splits.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Running splits.
David Bore
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Okay.
David Bore
Now, these girls on the Internet upset that Mr. Monopoly could do the splits, though.
Garrick Bernard
Bro, if he didn't have a monocle, I'll flip the table, bro.
Langston Kerman
I got bad news.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, come on, man. Come on, man.
Langston Kerman
He doesn't have a monocle, okay?
Garrick Bernard
In fucking Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls, the second Ace Ventura movie, he points out the Monopoly Man. Oh, he points out a guy that looks like the Monopoly man. And he says that because he's bald and he has a moniker.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Why the fuck. Why would they make that joke?
David Bore
You told me. You told me.
Garrick Bernard
After a lie.
David Bore
You told me. Jim Carrey, James Carrey, Canadian citizen.
Garrick Bernard
The king of Canada.
Langston Kerman
Jim Carrey, in the height of his career, truly on top of the world in a way that no man has ever been on top of the world would lie to us.
David Bore
I don't think so.
Langston Kerman
No monocle.
David Bore
Monochromatic. Jim Carrey is trying to set us free.
Langston Kerman
Apparently, the Monopoly man had perfect vision unaffected, and that's where he was putting his money.
David Bore
That's bullshit.
Langston Kerman
Yep.
Garrick Bernard
He got lazy.
David Bore
What about Mr. Peanut?
Langston Kerman
Mr. Peanut? They don't got no shit on Mr. Peanut.
David Bore
He's got a monocle.
Langston Kerman
He has a monocle?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Okay.
Langston Kerman
He has a monocle, then. That's what they're saying is the conflation is that people are remembering Mr. Peanut traits on top of the more of
David Bore
these that we hear, the more that feels like what is correct to me.
Langston Kerman
Okay, let's do this. You don't watch Star Wars.
David Bore
I've watched Star Wars. Is that uka booga shit?
Garrick Bernard
No, no, no. You've been very clear.
David Bore
You don't fuck with any. Yeah, I get. I don't really fuck with that shit.
Langston Kerman
He don't have no whimsy.
David Bore
Yeah, it's little.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Motherfucker don't do no whimsy.
David Bore
Yeah, it's fucked up. I'm working on it, though. I got a bike.
Garrick Bernard
Okay, that's whimsical. Then you have the little bell.
David Bore
Don't do that.
Langston Kerman
Hey, were you a little gay about it?
David Bore
Yeah. He trying to play. I had to get a bike.
Langston Kerman
He really tried to, like, make it this massive.
David Bore
I'm already out here, man.
Langston Kerman
That was mean.
Garrick Bernard
No.
David Bore
What do you mean?
Garrick Bernard
The bell makes it whimsical.
David Bore
It was the way he did it, you know?
Garrick Bernard
It was. It.
David Bore
Did it hurt?
Garrick Bernard
Okay, my bad. My bad.
Langston Kerman
He didn't assume you had the big handlebars out here.
David Bore
I got the big handlebars out here.
Langston Kerman
Nah, but he went like this. He said, oh, you got a little bell.
David Bore
I don't know any men with belt. Do you have a belt on your bike?
Garrick Bernard
No. No. My girl has a belt on her bike.
David Bore
Yeah. That's crazy. So does mine. She got a basket.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
I get a silly horn.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, that.
David Bore
You should still get a bike, I think.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. I would fuck around and, like, be annoying about it, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, okay.
David Bore
Okay.
Langston Kerman
But there's no way I'm getting.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, you would get one of those bikes with the one huge wheel right around. Dressed like the Monopoly Man.
David Bore
The fuck is wrong with him?
Langston Kerman
Black people can do this, too.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
I've never even thought about a black person on a penny farther.
Langston Kerman
Nah.
David Bore
Nor have I seen any historical evidence.
Garrick Bernard
I didn't even know it had a name. I thought it was just Big wheel bike.
David Bore
Penny, Big wheel bike. No, I see niggas on big wheels. That's different.
Langston Kerman
All right, we're talking Star wars. What about C3PO? We remember C3PO.
David Bore
C3PO.
Langston Kerman
Describe him. Just the basics.
David Bore
British gay. Yep.
Langston Kerman
Physically.
Garrick Bernard
Gold.
Langston Kerman
Gold. All gold. Bottom to the top. No, sir. He has a silver leg.
Garrick Bernard
What the fuck? Okay, that one might just be.
David Bore
Is that like some kind of canon? Like, he lost it in the minds of Tatooiner some shit?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
I think it's a part of the first story. When we meet him, he is like, a robot being put back together or some shit. And. And it isn't until later that he's, like, shinier and a little more, like, sexy. But in the beginning, he's dusty as hell.
David Bore
Yeah. Doesn't he get, like, a remodel, though?
Langston Kerman
Silver Lake.
David Bore
Okay.
Garrick Bernard
Silver Lake still.
David Bore
All right. That one's.
Garrick Bernard
That one. Yeah. Gold and silver. I feel like those get blended.
Langston Kerman
Also, don't spend a lot of time on the leg. The lighting was. You know what I mean?
Garrick Bernard
Like.
David Bore
It was.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, it was. Y' all were making TV the way that you knew how to make it.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Forrest Gump. What's his famous catchphrase?
David Bore
Life is like a box of chocolates.
Langston Kerman
No, sir, it's. Life was like a box of chocolates.
David Bore
No, that's not correct. Mom always says, life is like a box of chocolates. I don't know. Yeah, because he's dumping his stupid slow mouth. Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
Why would. He was. That doesn't even make sense in the context of the film.
Langston Kerman
Well, he was slow.
Garrick Bernard
Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, man.
David Bore
No.
Garrick Bernard
You guys are gaslighting us in the figures.
David Bore
I don't know what's going on.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, this feels like.
David Bore
Okay, is it because it was past tense? Mama always said life was like a box of tons.
Langston Kerman
No, they're saying that the. The phrase that everyone cites is poorly cited. Life was like a box of chocolate.
David Bore
Pull that shit up, then. Yeah, Olivia, pull that shit up then, please.
Garrick Bernard
Please.
David Bore
And by the way, it's not even the best quote in that movie. The best quote in that movie is I was running. That's the best part of the whole movie.
Langston Kerman
Okay, here we go.
Garrick Bernard
Do you want a chocolate?
Langston Kerman
That I didn't realize how insane this million and a half of these.
David Bore
No, this movie's crazy.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, it's very nice. My mom always said life was like a box. Oh, my God, bro, I'm so upset.
Langston Kerman
I am.
David Bore
This sucks.
Garrick Bernard
Disappointed. You know, that's a mis.
David Bore
That I. That also doesn't feel like. It's just. Of course. Of course I would. You would hear that. That also doesn't seem like a crazy conspiracy to me.
Garrick Bernard
No. Two things, I feel like they are from the other dimension. Are scrubbing things from our memory that we remember correctly and are gaslighting us into believing that these wrong things, like the Monopoly man, because I have, like, tethered proof, which is the fucking movie with Ace Ventura. Why would they make that joke? And then also, I fully remember life is like a box of chocolates. And I also remember in Star wars, him saying, luke, I am your father. That was never. Apparently, that was never in the movie at all. He never says that. No, that's what.
David Bore
See, I like the scrubbing thing, because what we're doing is, instead of being dumb, we're going deeper.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
Make it bigger.
Garrick Bernard
Make it bigger.
David Bore
Make the hole so wide you could just walk out.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. This is full gaslighting, this is.
David Bore
And why are two of them Star wars based?
Langston Kerman
Here's what I'll say.
David Bore
Is there a black one in there?
Langston Kerman
No, they're mostly white, but that's maybe because they don't.
Garrick Bernard
Interesting.
David Bore
Is there a Spanish one in there?
Langston Kerman
No, not really any Spanish ones.
David Bore
Is there an Asian one in there? Wow.
Langston Kerman
It's mostly white.
Garrick Bernard
Huh?
Langston Kerman
Huh?
David Bore
Isn't that crazy?
Garrick Bernard
That's wild.
David Bore
Isn't that wild?
Garrick Bernard
That's nuts.
David Bore
It's all Judeo, Christianity, and a Saxon.
Langston Kerman
Y' all cooking right now? Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
And it kind of feels like it. It all stems from apartheid South Africa, and they were just like, all right, what is the new thing that we can do to fuck with these people? Because they're free. They're free now. They get to live. And like, okay, so we banned books. Cool. But what's the next step? What's the next step? Let's make them think that Nelson Mandela died in prison.
Langston Kerman
Amen.
Garrick Bernard
He did not die in prison. Let's make them think that it was Jiffy and Jiff and not Jiffy. Let's make them think that the Monopoly man had no monocle.
David Bore
Yes. And then they got that big one that they loved so much. Let's make them think he was a genie when he was really the red one.
Garrick Bernard
When it was really the red one. So now I feel like I'm fucking crazy. I'm losing my mind. I'm out in the streets. I'm like, hey, I'm yelling at the sky saying the Monopoly man had a fucking monocle and now I can't get a fucking loan.
Langston Kerman
Here's where I think you're really cooking is. I think that even if this isn't some inter dimensional shit, there's so much incentive to plant these little fuck with you games on the part of the powers that be to make people fall into conspiracy theory.
David Bore
It's a wedge issue.
Langston Kerman
And it's such an innocuous start to conspiracy theory that both makes you feel like, holy shit, I know a lot. But also doesn't start with like, let's kill a race of people or let's blame a race of people for, like, what's happening to our communities and shit.
David Bore
But it takes up time, and I
Langston Kerman
bet you them cookies link you over to some other shit that might get you where you need.
David Bore
They need. Here's a question. Here's a final question. And remember, if this happens, I did not kill myself.
Garrick Bernard
Okay? Okay, okay.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
David Bore
And I'm afraid to ask this.
Langston Kerman
I'm scared to listen.
David Bore
Is there a Jewish one on the list?
Langston Kerman
I think there's an argument that the Berenstain Bears.
Garrick Bernard
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, all right. So now.
Langston Kerman
I think maybe we could argue
Garrick Bernard
y' all with us now, y'.
Langston Kerman
All.
Garrick Bernard
Okay? So again, they're gaslighting y' all, too. Okay, all right.
Langston Kerman
Maybe the Berenstein Bears might have been Jewish, but that's not for me to decide.
Garrick Bernard
I don't. You know. Cause, hey, if I'm trying to erase somebody's heritage, I'm trying to also take the main stain of somebody else's name. Like the thing that's the moniker of the Jewish religion or faith or race. I'm taking that out literally.
David Bore
Gonna stain it.
Garrick Bernard
So I'm gonna stain.
David Bore
Come on.
Garrick Bernard
Come on.
Langston Kerman
I Think those.
Garrick Bernard
Come on, let's go. Come on.
David Bore
We in there.
Langston Kerman
I think those might have been Polish bears. I think that was Jewish, but they dressed like that.
Garrick Bernard
Nah, they were Jewish bears.
Langston Kerman
Polish, Jewish. Jewish, religious, but from Poland, I guess is my signature.
Garrick Bernard
Listen up, my Jewish brothers. And that. You're trying to take this away from us.
Langston Kerman
No, no, no. I'm saying we're in agreement.
Garrick Bernard
Okay. All right, all right, all right.
David Bore
Finally we can come together.
Langston Kerman
Yeah. We can agree on this.
David Bore
Yeah, this in basketball, I think.
Garrick Bernard
I think they love basketball.
David Bore
They love it, too.
Langston Kerman
I think if we. If we want to knock this to its final closing, I think we're all in agreement that there is certainly a power that be deciding to make these minor changes to.
Garrick Bernard
With us. Yeah, yeah.
Langston Kerman
And whatever that power is, we haven't fully aligned on. I would say some of us disagree, but ultimately we do agree. Y' all are fucking with us and. Stop it.
Garrick Bernard
Stop, please.
David Bore
Just read a couple more to go out on, though. We get out of here.
Langston Kerman
Okay, we'll get out of here. I think. Let's see. Neil Armstrong was believed dead years before he actually was. Oddly enough, people had no recollection of the aeronautic legend's death. Many fans apparently forgot or. Oh, no, that's not true. Okay. This is the opposite of the Mandela. They thought he was still living and did not remember him dead.
Garrick Bernard
Oh, that.
Langston Kerman
Like he died in 2012.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, that. Wait, when did Buzz Aldrin pass?
Langston Kerman
Buzz Aldrin, I don't think died until, like, last year.
David Bore
Who was knocking people out out?
Langston Kerman
Buzz Aldrin.
David Bore
That was Buzz Aldrin. He's dead.
Langston Kerman
He just.
David Bore
He just died.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I think. But that might still be kicking it. I don't know, man.
David Bore
I bet if you went to space, you wouldn't want to beat everybody up.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, just like I'm a God, bro,
David Bore
because they be getting divorced and.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, yeah.
David Bore
It's like the perspective. The perspective really them up.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
That's why I don't want to go to space.
Langston Kerman
We'll make this our big close. This is. Well, this one's embarrassing. One of them is that a lot of people remember there being 51 or 52 states instead of 50. That's dumb.
Garrick Bernard
That's dumb.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
That is evil beast.
Langston Kerman
Okay. I'm glad we're all in agreement on that.
David Bore
There's like the lower 48, I guess.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Sing the Mr. Rogers theme song. Just the first line.
David Bore
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Langston Kerman
Okay, great. It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood is the correct lyrics.
Garrick Bernard
But see, see, this is where I.
David Bore
That goes back to the little kid.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
David Bore
That feels like that could be just. That's not as concrete to me.
Garrick Bernard
But there's also, like, the aspect of the neighborhood feels better musically than this. It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood that, like, feels like beautiful day in this neighborhood.
David Bore
Yeah, I don't like that.
Garrick Bernard
I don't like that. It doesn't feel good too.
David Bore
I didn't really like that show, though. No, I wasn't watching it even as a kid. I thought it was for Big.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Okay. This will be the big closer, since we didn't love that as. As an option. What did Hannibal Lecter most famously say to Clarice?
Garrick Bernard
Hello, Clarice.
Langston Kerman
Hello, Clarice. The. In. In Silence of the Lambs.
David Bore
Oh, I only remember the fava beans part.
Langston Kerman
Okay, well, hello, Clarice is. Is what people suspect is what he said. In fact, the reality that is all he said was good morning.
Garrick Bernard
No, no, no.
Langston Kerman
He never said hello.
Garrick Bernard
No, see, bro, no, no. I like. That's some shit that everybody quoted, though. That doesn't make any.
David Bore
Olivia
Garrick Bernard
Bus is alive. Buzz is al He. Buz, baby, you did it, buddy.
Langston Kerman
We missed you, man.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, man.
Langston Kerman
God damn, that was cool.
Garrick Bernard
Keep knocking people out.
Langston Kerman
Don't knock us out. Hey, we killed you.
David Bore
Jake, Paul got a bag for you if you want. Fight. Tyson.
Langston Kerman
What a great episode.
David Bore
Yeah, this is a lot of fun.
Langston Kerman
This is really fun. Garrett, can you tell the people where they can find you what bullshit you have going on?
Garrick Bernard
I'm on Garrett, Eric, Bernard, and all the things Instagram, Threads.
Langston Kerman
I guess this motherfucker promoting Threads, it's going bad, y'.
Garrick Bernard
All.
David Bore
Yeah, that's like social media goodwill, you
Garrick Bernard
know, I don't like it, but I. I'm not on X or Twitter anymore, so.
David Bore
But Threads is all like, what was the worst date you've ever been on?
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, and I'll answer those fellas how
David Bore
much booty is too much booty. Like, craz.
Garrick Bernard
It is.
Langston Kerman
It's like, for. It's like Facebook but for thinkers.
Garrick Bernard
You know what I mean?
Langston Kerman
That wanted to be, like, deep.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah, I hate it like that.
Langston Kerman
Yeah.
Garrick Bernard
It's not great.
David Bore
I pop in sometimes, though.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah. I just want to see what. What's going on.
Langston Kerman
All right, well, follow Garrick on Threads.
Garrick Bernard
Don't follow Garrick on Thread.
David Bore
Hell yeah. What, you got cool guy jokes? 87 on Instagram.
Langston Kerman
Hell, yeah. And you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms.
David Bore
You on Threads.
Langston Kerman
I'm on threads. I'm on threads, baby. I don't thread much, but I'm on there.
David Bore
I think I'm on there in that. Like when I post Instagram.
Garrick Bernard
Instagram. Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I want to get back to post it because I don't post on X anymore. Yeah, I still go over there for the poison.
Garrick Bernard
Yeah.
Langston Kerman
Yeah, I need a dip. Yeah, I need a little taste. But sometimes it feels good to be bad. Yeah, it feels good. That's beautifully said. I don't thread, but I am over there and you can follow me on all this stuff. And if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us how much booty is too much booty, send it all to mymamapodmail.com 844 Lil Moms if you want to talk to us on the phone and buy the merch like and subscribe, rate, rate, review, do all that shit. And remember, there ain't no such thing as too much booty. Bye bitch.
Garrick Bernard
Hey, where the bitches at? It's supposed to be titties.
David Bore
Where the fucking titties in the bitches?
Langston Kerman
My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network
David Bore
and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted
Langston Kerman
by Langston Kerman, co hosted by David
David Bore
Bore, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani
Langston Kerman
and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay
David Bore
Wayne edited and engineered by Justin Kahman
Langston Kerman
music by Nick Chambers art by by Dogon Krieger. You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.
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Podcast: My Mama Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Garrick Bernard
Release Date: April 2, 2026
Episode Theme: Exploring the Mandela Effect and Black conspiracy lore with comedic insight
In this lively re-release, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by writer/comedian Garrick Bernard to plunge into the notorious “Mandela Effect”—the phenomenon where large groups of people remember events or details differently from how they happened. The trio bounce between pop culture misremembrances, Black community conspiracy classics, and playful examinations of memory, misinformation, and the impact of collective belief. Throughout, they use humor, cultural critique, and sharp personal anecdotes to interrogate both the funny and unsettling sides of the Mandela Effect.
The hosts riff on show business, checks written out to the podcast, and strip club scenarios—a comedic setup leading into conspiratorial territory.
They joke about the full spectrum of Black conspiracy theories (“microchips in your ants,” “all koala bears are racist,” “Martians been doing dirty stuff,” etc.), setting the playful tone for the episode.
The episode is conversational, irreverent, and steeped in Black comedic sensibility. The hosts blend playful ridicule and sharp cultural analysis, maintaining an inclusive, inquisitive, and sometimes chaotic tone that demystifies conspiracy culture without taking themselves too seriously.
Absolutely. The summary covers key cultural touchstones, provides a history of the Mandela Effect, and highlights major comedic and thought-provoking moments, giving any listener a complete guide to the discussion—even if they haven’t heard the episode.