The Real COVID (with Ali Siddiq)

Summary

"The Real COVID" (with Ali Siddiq)

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Ali Siddiq
Release Date: February 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie sit down with the ever-hilarious Ali Siddiq to explore some classic and offbeat Black conspiracy theories—with a special focus on the COVID-19 experience. What starts as a wild, laugh-filled conversation about Tyrese’s baldness, the legacy of Southern rap, and questionable bike fashion, pivots into a candid, gripping, and darkly funny account of Ali’s harrowing encounter with "real" COVID at the peak of the pandemic. The episode wraps up with signature banter, a rundown of “Mr.” movies, and a voicemail about whether the devil made women.

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Key Discussion Points

1. The Tyrese Baldness Conspiracy

• The trio joke about how Tyrese has been bald forever and the possible reasons behind it.
  • Ali Siddiq: “Since the Coca Cola commercial, I never seen him…never had hair” (07:00)
  • Theories range from alopecia, to wanting to stand out from other model-types, to possible white ancestry—drawn with the group’s trademark irreverence.

2. Southern Rap Legacy and Houston’s Influence

• Ali defends Houston’s foundational role in hip hop; particularly in pioneering independent labels and the “chopped and screwed” sound.
  • Ali Siddiq: “Houston rappers created all of this shit... Rap-A-Lot like ’87.” (09:36)
  • The hosts are surprised to learn how labels like Rap-A-Lot and Suave House predate others like No Limit, Death Row, and even major moves out of Atlanta.

3. Old-School Black Childhood and Parenting

• Stories include fights leading to respect and friendship, and the time-honored tradition of “getting your ass whooped” by your parents—often followed by some dinner and a life-lesson talk.
  • Langston: “My mom had a lot of nights like that at dinner... pretty one-sided before I was big.” (23:04)
  • The hosts and Ali explore how parenting styles have mellowed over generations, reminiscing on strict, almost theatrical discipline.

4. Bike Culture and Black Community Perceptions

• Ali recounts buying a fancy bike as an adult and catching flak from Black folks who assumed he’d “lost his truck” and was down on his luck.
  • Ali Siddiq: “I couldn’t take the pressure from Black people…” (33:17)
• The trio talk about grown-man bike gear, helmet styles, and Black skepticism toward lycra and cycling paraphernalia.

5. Comedy, Acting, and "Making It" on Your Own

• Ali dissects the difference between stand-up comics and comedic actors, expressing loyalty to stand-up as a calling.
  • Ali Siddiq: “I’m a comic...I stick to straight comedy. I have no desire to act. A comedic actor is different from a comic.” (41:04)
  • The group shares how sometimes being on film—even successfully—can distort how audiences view a comic’s actual talents.

6. Ali Siddiq’s Harrowing “Real COVID” Story

(Main Theme Segment: 44:05-53:40)

• Ali differentiates between “real COVID” (early, high-mortality strain) and the variants that followed.
  • Ali Siddiq: “If you didn’t get [COVID] when the shit was hot, I don’t respect your COVID. I wanted on death. I hit it on when it was at its highest…unstepped-on COVID.” (45:15)
• He recounts spending 32 days quarantined in a hotel, fearing for his life while absorbing grim news reports and following desperate advice.
  • Ali Siddiq: “You're in the hotel room... and you have to turn the TV off because they saying people are dying from the [illness] you got... So it's 32 deaths today—you like, oh, no, I'm next.” (46:24)
  • His brutal, honest take on the symptoms, length of illness, and the psychological toll is injected with gallows humor.
• Perhaps the wildest moment comes when Ali describes fearing death, insisting on dying in presentable clothes:
  • Ali Siddiq: “Day 30...I'm on the floor grabbing my heart, and my mind said—but you can't die with this outfit on... I put on a Nike suit and I just laid in the bed like I wanted to be found.” (50:49)
• Post-COVID, Ali reveals ongoing panic attacks and acknowledges both psychological and possibly physiological trauma, all delivered in a raw, funny, and moving way.

7. Comedy and the Art of “Talking to Yourself”

• The group riffs about the mental gymnastics involved in self-parenting and talking oneself down from irrational thoughts, especially in adulthood and post-trauma.

8. Deep Dives: The “Mr.” Cinematic Universe

• The trio go on a unique tangent, giving their picks for most under-appreciated movies by “Mr.”—“Mr. Brooks” (Kevin Costner), “Mr. Church” (Eddie Murphy), and “A Man Called Otto” (Tom Hanks), plus the all-time classic “John Q” (Denzel Washington).
  • Ali Siddiq: “If your face ain't wet doing this goddamn movie, you let me know.” (57:18)
  • Much of the segment is a spirited debate about comedy classics, fan-favorite lines, and the legacy of Eddie Murphy.

9. Listener Voicemail: Did the Devil Make Women?

(Voicemail segment: 70:35–74:28)

• A listener asks whether God made men and the Devil made women, referencing the “goat head” shape of ovaries.
  • Ali, Langston, and David respond with both jokes and a rebuttal, defending women and dismissing the theory as misogyny and projection.
  • David (Borey): “You’re just gay. That was just—you’re a closeted homosexual person who’s struggling with your relationship to women.” (72:02)
  • Ali Siddiq: “You can’t have goat pussy till you love yourself.” (72:30)
• Discussion veers into pop-cultural images of the devil, ending with a loving reassertion of respect for women.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Early COVID:

  • "Unstepped-on COVID, like, my shit was not stepped on. Like, the shit I had was crazy." — Ali Siddiq (45:17)
  • “I'm on the floor grabbing my heart… but you can't die with this outfit on.” — Ali Siddiq (50:49)

• On Independent Hip Hop:

  • “Houston rappers created all of this shit... Rap-A-Lot like ‘87.” — Ali Siddiq (09:36)

• On Stand-Up vs. Acting:

  • "A comedic actor is different from a comic... from a comedian. So. Oh, because he was in this movie. Cause he was on this sitcom, that makes him a great comic. No, it doesn’t.” — Ali Siddiq (41:39)

• On Mental Health After COVID:

  • “I think something's fucking happened to me. Cause this shit had happened…and I'd be happy…all of a sudden, I'm like, I can’t breathe.” — Ali Siddiq (53:46)

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Important Timestamps

• Tyrese conspiracy & baldness: 05:27–07:30
• Southern rap, Houston's role: 09:04–13:15
• Hip hop origin stories: 13:42–15:47
• Old-school parenting & fights: 20:44–27:39
• Black bike culture & social pressure: 32:08–39:09
• Ali on being a comic, not an actor: 41:00–43:33
• Ali’s "real COVID" saga: 44:05–53:46
• Panic attacks, post-COVID struggles: 53:36–55:06
• “Mr.” movies and comedy classics riff: 56:05–62:35
• Listener voicemail: devil made women: 70:35–74:28

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Tone and Style

The episode blends classic barbershop humor with deep-dive Black cultural commentary. The hosts and Ali riff, roast, reminisce, and inject moments of honesty and vulnerability amid the punchlines. Raw language, quick wit, and personal storytelling dominate the energy.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is essential listening for fans of stand-up, Black popular culture, and genuine, hilarious storytelling about surviving tough times. Ali Siddiq’s COVID account is as much a time capsule as it is a stand-up routine, and the hosts' chemistry keeps the serious moments accessible. Whether discussing music, masculinity, or medical trauma, “The Real COVID” stays true to the podcast’s irreverent, insightful heart.

Transcript

[Ali Siddiq]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ali Siddiq]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Ali Siddiq]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Ali Siddiq]

Subject to change.

[David (Borey)]

Visit your nearby Lowes on Colorado street in Kennewick.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, this is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Ali Siddiq]

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[Langston Kerman]

Stop everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

Put that shit down.

[Langston Kerman]

Stop making love to your significant others.

[David (Borey)]

We're talking get your penis out of.

[Langston Kerman]

Your wife and get that pussy out of your side piece.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, out of it.

[Langston Kerman]

Into your. I've never had sex before.

[David (Borey)]

We have big news.

[Langston Kerman]

Big, huge news.

[David (Borey)]

Unbelievable news.

[Langston Kerman]

For all of you who want to.

[David (Borey)]

See us get filthy rich, we are offering up a new opportunity. A bag of beans, if you will, that we're hopeful you believe is going to grow into a giant beanstalk. Yeah, magical beans. And those magical beans are the My mama told me Patreon I actually am 1.4% Nigerian. African.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm a sister.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[David (Borey)]

Why is that the button you pressed.

[Langston Kerman]

I shouldn't have smoked.

[David (Borey)]

We're starting a Patreon.

[Langston Kerman]

We're starting a Patreon. It's gonna be so much fun. We're gonna have, what, four extra episodes a month?

[David (Borey)]

It's four extra episodes. It's all kinds of games. It's watch alongs, it's grab bags, it's.

[Langston Kerman]

Gonn mailbags, live streams, all this stuff. Langston's nudes.

[David (Borey)]

This is the first I'm hearing of it. But I'm not in a space to contradict. I'm desperate for you to join. So if that is what will entice you to come see us over at Patreon, please do that.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, so you can go ahead and go online to WW Patreon. It's on the bottom. We'll have it flashing on the screen.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, my mom told me. Likely. But we'll figure it out. It's coming. Bye, bitch.

[Ali Siddiq]

And so we still trying to buy it back. But I got a remedy for that now on how to get it back. We ain't tripping.

[David (Borey)]

Oh, you got a plan?

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah, for sure got a plan.

[David (Borey)]

Okay. He gonna run in there OJ style. I'm excited.

[Ali Siddiq]

Got a plan. They don't have to worry about us calling anymore. We're good.

[David (Borey)]

Okay?

[Ali Siddiq]

We're good.

[David (Borey)]

This is cool. And we do threaten big corporations here on the podc.

[Langston Kerman]

Langston Kerman does. The government growing babies. Microchips in your babies. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Marshy defending turkey stuffing. Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[David (Borey)]

Honey came in, said she caught me red handed creeping on the bedroom floor. Picture this, we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor. That's what it is.

[Langston Kerman]

You want right back.

[David (Borey)]

No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

There it is.

[David (Borey)]

There it is. Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast, where we.

[Langston Kerman]

Dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories. We also respect the music of Shaggy and his lyricism.

[David (Borey)]

I think we respect Shaggy quite a bit. On this podcast, I think he comes.

[Langston Kerman]

Up, maybe even more than he should.

[David (Borey)]

I think we talk about Shaggy more than most Shaggy. Centric podcasts probably cover him.

[Langston Kerman]

You heard it here.

[David (Borey)]

I've been thinking about this. This is actually something we could talk about real quick. How come we ain't never seen Tyrese with hair? Why has he been bald since he was a boy?

[Ali Siddiq]

Alopecia.

[David (Borey)]

Okay. Exciting.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't think he just Figured it out. You guys never just shaved your head before.

[David (Borey)]

And he was like.

[Langston Kerman]

He was like, this is too. This is too good.

[David (Borey)]

I'm not gonna need this.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Since the Coca Cola commercial, and he.

[Langston Kerman]

Was like 18, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

And I think that why he cut his hair is because at the time, what was the dude. The other model type dude?

[Langston Kerman]

Tyson.

[David (Borey)]

Tyson Beckman.

[Ali Siddiq]

Tyson Beckman had a little shape up, and he wanted to be different, so he just cut it.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, Tyrese looks great hairless. He looks like he's not supposed to have hair.

[David (Borey)]

I do not say it as a critique. I'm genuinely curious because that man figured it out.

[Langston Kerman]

It makes him look faster.

[Ali Siddiq]

Maybe he. Maybe he kind of like. You know, white guys lose their hair very early. Yeah, maybe he's part white. I have no idea.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna say I think he's to the bone.

[David (Borey)]

I'm gonna say there's a fair amount of evidence.

[Ali Siddiq]

The Gibson family was untouched.

[Langston Kerman]

If Tyrese has a drop, then I have a drop. This whole thing starts to come apart.

[Ali Siddiq]

I can't.

[David (Borey)]

I think somehow he got Gibson and earned that name.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I mean? He didn't have to.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't know.

[David (Borey)]

He took it from a slave master. They didn't give it to him.

[Ali Siddiq]

I have no idea. Tyrese just never since the Coca Cola commercial, I never seen him.

[Langston Kerman]

Never had that My Way video. None of the early Tyrese hot dog.

[Ali Siddiq]

He was always seen. When he came out, it was like, no hair. When he first. First Coca Cola commercial, he was just random dude singing. He was a model, I guess, you know? And then figured out that he could sing. And boom, boom, boom. Coca Cola commercial on the subway. Never had hair.

[David (Borey)]

Never had hair. Hey, Charisse, if you're out there, that's dope.

[Langston Kerman]

We think it's great.

[David (Borey)]

We think that's real cool, though.

[Langston Kerman]

I celebrate your whole catalog, bro.

[David (Borey)]

You got no smoke over here.

[Langston Kerman]

Sweet. Lady's a good ass song, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think Tyrese. The only time I ever even seen Tyrese's song, when he got into it was Spanky Hayes. And he had that chinchilla on, and he was talking to Spanky, and then Spanky came with some type of woolly fur coat on, mimicking him. Cause he ball head too. I'm like, yo, Spanky is fucking killing Tyrese right now. I don't know. Spanky Head on some furry shit. He was like. So let me tell you. Mimicking like it was. I was like, oh, shit. Tyrese gonna regret this one. Yeah. I leave him alone. It was a. Some people you just can't really mock. Especially when we gonna go in. Like. That's what you said. Like, I don't know why ti didn't pick this battle with 50. 50 gonna be on some bullshit.

[Langston Kerman]

We've said this a lot of times.

[Ali Siddiq]

The song is jamming enough, man. Just do the damn song, man. Oh, God. I don't buy on no verses. And shit ain't even happening, bro.

[David (Borey)]

We're so happy. He. Yeah, Everybody's so pumped that he's making music again just for Red light.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what got me wearing my hat over here. I'm like, shit, come on, Tyrone. I'd wear it on my chin if I could. And then, you know, and then juvie. Juvie then came back out, got them girls busting it back open again. You done came out with an answer to back that ass up.

[David (Borey)]

Good Lord, you're doing beautiful work.

[Ali Siddiq]

350 alone.

[Langston Kerman]

I truly think Juvenile shouldn't have to pay taxes for his work in this country.

[David (Borey)]

I think that's a fair state.

[Commercial Announcer]

Juvenile.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think Juvenile. Juvenile is one of the most underrated rappers. Juvie, man. That fucking 400 degree album was bananas, bro.

[David (Borey)]

Imprinted. Bananas imprinted in almost every brain of a generation.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's the south and we don't get a lot of credit. Yeah, we don't get a lot of credit in the south, man. Yeah, it's weird, really. Houston created all of these niggas. Houston rappers created all of this shit.

[David (Borey)]

You feel like Houston, we can do that. Houston innovated before Atlanta.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hell yeah. Way before Atlanta.

[Langston Kerman]

Really?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, way before Atlanta.

[David (Borey)]

Tell me more.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, way before Atlanta.

[David (Borey)]

Because for me, historically, I think about, like. I think about, like, the wave.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, Yeah. I always think about Atlanta because those are people who was getting the hype. But Houston cultivate. Like, if you add. If you thought about this, who is the first independent record label, like, in hip hop? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. That's a difficult.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's clearly rap a lot over, like.

[Langston Kerman]

No limit, like, time timeline wise.

[David (Borey)]

No limit's way.

[Ali Siddiq]

I mean, no Limit came and got the game from Jay. He came and got the game from Jay.

[David (Borey)]

What's.

[Langston Kerman]

What's. What's the time? What's the timestamp on rap?

[Ali Siddiq]

A lot like 87.

[David (Borey)]

Damn. That's before Death Row.

[Ali Siddiq]

Cause ghetto boys way before Master P and M. Right?

[David (Borey)]

Yeah. No, for sure. Ghetto boys was like, that's rap a lot. Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

Damn.

[David (Borey)]

That's real.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. We the home of the. We the home of independent labels.

[David (Borey)]

That's Crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, when I think about independent rappers, specifically Southern, I do think about, like, Houston for sure.

[David (Borey)]

Houston's the only one where I go.

[Langston Kerman]

I think about Slim Thug, primarily.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you think about Swisher House. That came after. Right. That's 98.

[David (Borey)]

Houston's the only one where people are independent. And it feels like y' all stay independent and thrive.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[David (Borey)]

Everybody else stays independent and kind of like, oh, you see their shit every once in a while, but they aren't.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you talk about suave house. Suave house came before the rest of them, and suave house came Houston. That's Tony Draper.

[Langston Kerman]

All right.

[David (Borey)]

Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

Damn.

[David (Borey)]

Does that make you. So you're like, yo, we started this shit.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, when you think about chopping, screw who you think about.

[David (Borey)]

That's Houston, for sure.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Dj.

[Ali Siddiq]

But people will say other people. Cause they copy. They mimicked it, but it's literally called Chopped and Screwed. And they think T Pain and all the rest of that. But it's literally called Chopped and Screwed.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, right.

[David (Borey)]

It belongs to a. He put his name on it.

[Langston Kerman]

There's a screwed man.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

He is a person. It's a person.

[David (Borey)]

A n got screwed here.

[Langston Kerman]

And I can't quite pinpoint who it was.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know what I'm saying? That type of shit, like, yo, Houston is like, we get overlooked for a bunch of stuff that we started.

[David (Borey)]

Does that make you bitter about it? Do you feel.

[Ali Siddiq]

Nah. I mean, it just made me think people goofy as shit. I was like, yo, you a goofball.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's like, if you. If you look at, you from Chicago.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Who launched y' all first? Chicago rapper. Do or Die.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah. Do or Die is.

[Ali Siddiq]

Who are they signed to?

[David (Borey)]

Crucial Conflict. I would put way before a bunch.

[Ali Siddiq]

Of who was who. Who was do or Die Signed to rap a lot. Oh, really? Whoa. Yeah. God damn.

[David (Borey)]

I didn't know that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yes.

[David (Borey)]

This way, sir.

[Ali Siddiq]

You wasting your time here. This nigga's a historian. I'm old as hip hop.

[David (Borey)]

Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

Me and hip hop the same age.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

And before. What's crazy is I'm actually older than hip hop because hip hop wasn't formed all the way when I was coming up.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Right, right.

[Ali Siddiq]

So if you say, let's go to 83. Right. I'm 10. So there's rappers, but there's no. It wasn't even called hip hop. It was just called rapping.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Christmas rapping.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm not gonna rap about hip hop artist. He was a rapper.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you had rapping. Rapping and break dance hadn't merged yet.

[David (Borey)]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, okay, okay.

[David (Borey)]

These were separate artists.

[Langston Kerman]

Two different types of guys.

[Ali Siddiq]

Just got break dancing. Some mantronics that I don't, I don't, I ain't fucking with you. Like, I'm just dancing to the music. So it wasn't the Hip hop is a, is a collaboration of the DJing dancing clothes and rapping.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

And like graffiti, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

Like wild style.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, right.

[Ali Siddiq]

So this, all, this wasn't merging. Y' all never watched Beat Street? Yeah, you gotta.

[Langston Kerman]

I said Ramon beach street made me feel like if I go to New York, I was like, I just gotta stay away from that third rail. That's how they got it.

[Ali Siddiq]

And by the time you watched it, you and your third. By the time you watched. That's right.

[Langston Kerman]

12 years old, that was over mid-90s. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you watched it in the mid-90s? I watched it when it came out.

[David (Borey)]

See, I, I, I never watched it. You never see, by the time I.

[Ali Siddiq]

Gave it to you, it's a bunch of light skinned dudes on there.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. It's a bunch of light skinned dudes.

[Ali Siddiq]

You don't know this, but that does.

[Langston Kerman]

Make a big difference for me.

[Ali Siddiq]

That makes a huge difference for you. I would love breaking 1 and 2.

[David (Borey)]

I go this movie to too dark for me.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

I don't see myself.

[Langston Kerman]

Who's the light skinned one? And you like ozone better than turbo.

[David (Borey)]

Is that the one? Is Vin Diesel in one of them?

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

Vin Diesel?

[David (Borey)]

No, I don't think so.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, Sean, Claude Van Damme is in the back in one. Yeah, he's doing like, he looks like. You remember Street Fighter? Yeah. How the European guys would dance in the back?

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what he did.

[David (Borey)]

You know, he wasn't originally a martial.

[Langston Kerman]

Artist, just a handsome man.

[David (Borey)]

He was just a dancer that could kick real high. And they were like, bro, I could see what to do with you.

[Ali Siddiq]

That happens. Yeah, that happened back then. You know, we just look at it as like, I don't, I think that the past, the history of how things emerged gets overlooked all the time, you know, like this was like y' all do conspiracy theories. This was a major conspiracy theory when I was growing up. Was on breaking. Was that broom on a wire?

[Langston Kerman]

Cause that was the coldest part of the whole show.

[Ali Siddiq]

Was that broom on the wire or.

[Langston Kerman]

Did that nigga learn magic? Is this nigga curse this one that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Caught his break dancing in the world. He wanted to open the Broom up. Does he literally have an electricity flowing through him? It was dope as hell.

[Langston Kerman]

He sent it to the broom, and then he.

[Ali Siddiq]

And you know how many people try to do that?

[Langston Kerman]

I tried to do it in my.

[Ali Siddiq]

Goddamn room, trying to do that broom. It was like, this shit won't stay out, Ali.

[Langston Kerman]

I swear to God.

[Ali Siddiq]

My broom stood for three seconds.

[David (Borey)]

It didn't wiggle, but it stood for three seconds.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

I do appreciate that. Of the world before Internet, that idea of people trying shit in the house.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, I think about what it would have done to me to have seen the moonwalk for the first time.

[Ali Siddiq]

Bro, let me tell you.

[Langston Kerman]

Move. Move the coffee table, yo.

[Ali Siddiq]

Mother, father, make room. Like, I can tell you what you don't want to do is do it on carpet with no shoes on.

[David (Borey)]

Let's go.

[Ali Siddiq]

I have the worst carpet burn on my toe since 1980. Goddamn. 3. It was 84. Cause I was 11 when it came on. Yo.

[Langston Kerman]

It was on the Motown 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

And we are stuck to this TV.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Mike came out and it was like, listen, listen. Like, we like, oh, his brother's walking out. What Mike about to do.

[Langston Kerman]

Because you.

[Ali Siddiq]

You had no clue, cuz.

[Langston Kerman]

Was he solo? How solo was he?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, he was. He was getting ready to go solo. So he came out with his brothers, and he was like, oh, Jack. Hell, yeah. And then. Then Mike, everybody was walking off. He was like, excuse me, boy.

[Langston Kerman]

I have something to do.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, they was like. They were being. It's like they were walking one way, and Mike wasn't moving. Mike is like, okay. Yeah, okay. Now that they're gone. Yup. Now. And then he said it. Yo, those are the good old days, and I appreciate that. And then somebody then magically. Nigga had a hat in his hand. He was like, but.

[Langston Kerman]

Over.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, over.

[David (Borey)]

Your shit is crazy, too, because y' all were in an era. You're watching this live. That means you didn't even understand that there was technology involved. That, like, he needed a smooth surface and a smooth shoe. You're like, nope.

[Ali Siddiq]

Barefoot, on carpet, on carpet, on cement. Like, this became a breakdance move. Like, this is one of the moves in breakdancing. Like, yo, this is a serious. See, when people think that they know how breakdance. If you never carry cardboard around. That's true. Like a box. Like, you broke a box down and you had it with you. Jesse, do you imagine carrying a big ass cardboard? Like, I might run into Mike.

[Langston Kerman]

It might happen.

[Ali Siddiq]

And Mike ass gonna get served and.

[David (Borey)]

Gonna catch me slipping.

[Langston Kerman]

I've been going crazy. Cardboard has my name on it.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you already know what this is.

[Langston Kerman]

And then it says Wacky D. What's crazy?

[Ali Siddiq]

I had a piece of cardboard.

[Langston Kerman]

In.

[Ali Siddiq]

My back pocket and a glove. Cause I could hand stick.

[Langston Kerman]

Holy shit.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I was like, yo, I guarantee, yeah, y' all never gonna catch me slipping. I'm ready with all types. Oh, you on it. Pop glove on.

[David (Borey)]

Let me tell you something.

[Ali Siddiq]

Let me tell you something. You finna get served?

[Langston Kerman]

Cause honestly, if I'm in any sort of a situation and someone takes out one glove, I immediately rethink.

[David (Borey)]

I've made a mistake, dog. I made a mistake. I'm sorry.

[Langston Kerman]

I made a mistake. Okay. I didn't realize it was one glove time.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, I thought you were gonna put on two.

[Ali Siddiq]

My bad. This is crazy. This is like when people used to. People used to fight. Like, really just straight up fight. And when you come from that era of fighting, you can't be scared in this day and time. It's no way. You like, yo, you do know that I fight though, right? Like, for real? Like, I don't have to shoot you. It's like, hey, when people used to do this, oh, really? This is what we doing. Just take off one ring. Take they ring off. You like, oh, so this was about to happen.

[David (Borey)]

You one of them guys?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, it's been several times growing up. Well, I was like, what you doing? What are we talking about? And I'm just taking off my swatch watch, like, okay. And then like, yo, and then. And then you. You used to look at people's hands. Back in the day, you was like, yo, do I want to really get into an argument with this dude? And people hands would be like, nah, that's. That's several teeth marks. And then people like, yo, that's me right there.

[Langston Kerman]

You hit me in my goddamn mouth.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know, this was a different era, man. Growing up in that era and the 80s was. I'm born 1973. So by the time I'm 10, you know, I've been outside since like 8. Like, on my own, where you can just be outside all day and then you get 10. Oh, you running. You. This is when you really moving around. Yeah, so by the time you 13, you, like, really moving around.

[David (Borey)]

I have a feeling that a lot of this is rooted in the fact that we started making fights. Public conversations that it used to be local, sort of like small batch fights in a community that you knew about. And you would find out through experience you fight a motherfucker and you find out that that motherfucker can fight. Leave him alone. And then it turned into the Internet and television being able to publicize all these fights. And now niggas don't want to be embarrassed. So it turns into. I just shoot. I don't know how to fight.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm just getting your ass beat. The embarrassment of it goes further than it ever has before. Like within this era.

[David (Borey)]

I think so.

[Ali Siddiq]

But you know how crazy it is though, that you rather that all I do is shoot. So you. So embarrassment supersedes prison.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, not you. You are.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm just talking.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm talking to the people who doing it. They're nuts.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So, yeah, I can be free and embarrassed, but I can be tough and in prison.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Where now once again, you have to fight.

[David (Borey)]

I have to fight every day.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because you can't shoot in there.

[Langston Kerman]

It's the hardest place to shoot. It's truly. It's no shot.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's no shots.

[Langston Kerman]

There's very rarely a shot. Yeah, like, it's true. It's just a numbers game.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is back to this.

[David (Borey)]

Back to.

[Ali Siddiq]

You're going to get your ass beat regardless.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, you might as well take this L right here.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, man, get your ass and go eat a pizza.

[Langston Kerman]

You keep going outside.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know how many times that people get into a fight? Like known people that would get into a fight with each other and then have a drink with each other.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

And talk about the fight. See, you know you made me whoop your ass right as they sharing a 40. That's cool. That is great.

[Langston Kerman]

Me and my mom had a lot of nights like that at dinner at first. Up at school.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm not laughing at him fighting his mother. Not in his climate.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was one sided.

[David (Borey)]

They were pretty one sided before I was big.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm talking about. Oh, you talking about when like your mom.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

And then you got to sit over dinner. I just got to make sure the climate. Because this is. It's a mean climate out here.

[David (Borey)]

He's talking about when she whoop your ass and then pour you a big juice.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, no, no, I'm talking.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, my mama whoop your ass and want to talk to you about it. Oh, man. Tell me what happened. Yeah, well, you came in and then shit went bad for me.

[Langston Kerman]

I actually tried to move rooms. You followed me.

[Ali Siddiq]

You talked through the whole thing. You talked through the whole thing. You not even a silent whooper, which.

[Langston Kerman]

Is Disrespectful to me. I would like you to be out of breath.

[David (Borey)]

It was when you threw that shoe at me that things sort of changed on my end, personally.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. You know, hey, doing good. Then you got upset. I thought my lie was working. I don't know. I don't know How. How did you see it?

[David (Borey)]

It did make Duck Hunt worse.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That being said, Hamburger Helper is delicious.

[Ali Siddiq]

I love it.

[David (Borey)]

Thank you for putting in the work on it.

[Ali Siddiq]

You don't even want to ask. You ever got your ass whoop and you cried over the food.

[Langston Kerman]

Crying. I can't.

[Ali Siddiq]

I can't. Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

That does not help.

[Ali Siddiq]

I can't stop.

[David (Borey)]

But as a parent, if I could.

[Langston Kerman]

Stop, I would stop. Trust me. I don't want to be crying anymore.

[David (Borey)]

I get it. And I know it doesn't help, but as a parent now, I'm constantly telling my daughter to be like, come on, stop it, man. No, it doesn't help it. But you can't help but be like. It doesn't require all this.

[Ali Siddiq]

Stop. You're a young parent, huh?

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm a more seasoned parent, sure. So when me and my. When my kids get into it, I am. I'm like, come here. Hey. I see you crying already. That's not really affecting me. It's not changing what I'm about to say. Seasoned parent. We, like, nothing breaks when we jump together. So. So you crying. I wait. I wait to do. Okay, we had like three minutes. Now you ought to be definitely running out of water.

[David (Borey)]

I actually don't find you adorable anymore.

[Ali Siddiq]

Stand right here. I'm gonna go do something. I'm gonna come back and see what you got going on out there. Yeah, I'm like the worst to them, but I'm the best. Cause I don't react anymore. It's like my older kids was like when you said you 38. My oldest son is 32, so my oldest daughter 27. But then I have younger kids, and I just look at them, they get in trouble. I just be like, then that's how you felt. That's what you wanted to do. Trust and believe. I'm not gonna waste my energy. I say mean shit. I'm like, you're not that important to me. God damn. For me to go get a building, for me to go get belt and come in here. I'm not doing all that, man. Wallow in your life. I don't care. That's how you feel.

[Langston Kerman]

Cool.

[Ali Siddiq]

Cool.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, I'm gonna take that beating.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'll be Honest. The words are crazy. I'm like, so you decided that this is what you was gonna do?

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Okay. And you thought it was important enough for me. Matter of fact, I don't even know why I'm having this conversation, because I don't care. Did you? You should have died when you did. You should have died.

[Langston Kerman]

Press a button.

[Ali Siddiq]

I told you.

[Langston Kerman]

What button do we have for that? What button do we have for that?

[Ali Siddiq]

I told you. I told you that this electric bike was not an off road bike. You know what I'm saying? And I come back, I see that apparently you fail. Yeah, no, I didn't fail. Oh, so now we going to compound the injury with lies. So I went out and I investigated. You know, I'm like, forensic, right? And I come in, I say, so you heard. And you should be. And you should be. And what would have made this worse? If I would have had to take you to the hospital. Cause I would have drove slow and I would have hit random bumps just to make it worse for you.

[David (Borey)]

We are gonna stop off at Arby's.

[Ali Siddiq]

Before we get in. Let me run in here, get me some Funyuns. I gotta be in the hospital all damn night.

[David (Borey)]

It's not gonna be a problem.

[Ali Siddiq]

My mom was like that. My mom managed. I did something that my mom told me not to do. She started off with, that's what your ass get. Yeah, like, damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, especially.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is what you get.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, especially fucking up a bike. That was a big problem in my house. Cause that was like, bike's what I got. Bike is like, as a kid, that's like. I don't really have, like, anything else like that.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's.

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I got. That's what I got you.

[David (Borey)]

It used to be.

[Langston Kerman]

That's your car.

[David (Borey)]

It used to be standard issue for every kid. And in that way, like, everybody had a bike, but not everybody could get another bike. And so, like, if you fucked that up, that was that, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

I got hit by a car on my bike. My mom just kept my shit on the back of the apartment. I just had to see it every day on the deck for, like, probably till the next birthday came around.

[Ali Siddiq]

Probably.

[Langston Kerman]

It was Thanksgiving Day.

[Ali Siddiq]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Probably didn't get another one till my birthday. Cinco de Mayo.

[Ali Siddiq]

You should have fixed it yourself. That's what we would do.

[Langston Kerman]

He got. I got hit by a car.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was.

[David (Borey)]

He got to fix himself.

[Ali Siddiq]

But you were still thinking about the bike. You looking at the bike. That's crazy.

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[Ali Siddiq]

It's an Olympics you'll never forget. Prime Time in Milan the Moments Chloe Kim with the gold medal. Flex the stars Ilya Malinin out of this world the spectacle from beautiful northern Italy with very special guests every night of the Olympics. Experience the world's biggest show. Prime time in Milan tonight, 87 Central on NBC. And Peacock hey.

[Langston Kerman]

This is US Olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Langston Kerman]

As athletes, our lives are about having a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust. So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and.

[Ali Siddiq]

You learn more at pennymac.com pennymac loan services llc/housing lender nmls id 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

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[Ali Siddiq]

I remember what. It was maybe like eight years ago that I realized I really got a different respect for bikes because I was living in this neighborhood and this guy asked me to join the cycling team with the neighborhood. I said, oh, okay. And so he told me to go to this place called Bike Planetarium. So I went and I didn't recognize any of the names of the bikes. And I'm laying my mind. I'm like, you know, it's Swin, Huffy, bmx, Diamondbacks. You know, these type of bikes. You know, grew up riding bikes. I know how to ride a bike. And it's all type of funny ass names in here. And I was like, this. I was like, specialized, Bianchi, Cannondales, Giants. I was like, yo, my man, what's the price of this bike? And he's like, it's on there. I said, nah, it's just a SKU number on here. He's like, that's it. I'm like, this bike got a comma in the price. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, this bike was like $4,000.

[David (Borey)]

It's crazy.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I bought the cheapest bike in there. It was $1,800.

[David (Borey)]

That's nuts.

[Ali Siddiq]

And it was. I rode that bike like four times. Only because I couldn't take the pressure from black people. It was like, it was weird. I was riding the bike and then next thing I hear on the street in the barbershop mother. I'm like, hey, man, you cool? I said, what's up?

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I heard you lost your truck. I lost my damn truck. He's like, yeah. They said, you a psych. And he was on a bike riding to work.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm like, I don't even got no day job.

[Ali Siddiq]

What am I riding to work through?

[Langston Kerman]

No, I. I feel that. Cause like that bike riding shit, it putting the helmet on really hurt me a few times.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a big, like riding past. Riding past some cool teens trying to.

[David (Borey)]

I got my helmet on.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm 37 years old because my homie, he got a bike at this, this a year ago. He got a bike at the same time. We're like, we're about to Be on bike. We're gonna really, really do it. His wife didn't make him get a helmet.

[David (Borey)]

Helmet.

[Langston Kerman]

My wife did. Oh. And now I got a helmet. Every time it's like, oh, brother, it's. It's a. In like in like my bike is like, I'm big. And I was 100 pounds bigger.

[Ali Siddiq]

So I had to get like the, the.

[Langston Kerman]

So my shit wasn't like leaned down in the. You know what I mean? My shit was like. And I was like, up.

[David (Borey)]

You got them big bikes from Black Beach Street. Your shit playing Atomic Dog.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Dog catch. I flew up to the style. Where my bitch at.

[Ali Siddiq]

That helmet. That helmet is respectable. That's when people don't know. They laugh at you with your helmet. But me as a grown man, I roll by and I was like, yo, my man, where you get that helmet from? Cause when I bought that bike, I bought the helmet for damn sure. Yeah. Because my boy was cycling with a team. Dude hit something in the street and they going 50, 60 miles an hour. Holy fuck, they really moving. And that crash was crazy.

[David (Borey)]

Yup.

[Ali Siddiq]

And if he wouldn't have had. He showed me his helmet, like, man, if I wouldn't have had this helmet on, bro, I'm talking about. I'm out of there.

[David (Borey)]

It's mush.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I'm like, yeah, so that's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

We lost a friend like that. Yeah, yeah, we lost a friend like that, which was also like, part of it was like, I can't.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, I'm winning him.

[Langston Kerman]

They can't make something. You gotta. You gotta get a new era or something. Like, bro, they look.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's all type of cool ass helmets.

[Langston Kerman]

Not at Walmart, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you goddamn Walmart.

[Ali Siddiq]

Go to bike Planetarium is what the shit is at. Yeah, Walmart.

[Langston Kerman]

My shit. My shit made me look special.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It is like the bike and then the posture.

[Ali Siddiq]

You are making a choice by any cyclist out there. He is not being disrespectful. He is just saying that I love your culture.

[Langston Kerman]

If you're looking, I love bicycle. I still got my shit and Specialized. That's what. That's the brand.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's the brand. That body need a tune up. Yeah, man, everybody need a tune. You gotta take that bike in. You got a specialist with a Walmart helmet. You're crazy. You're. That's a conspiracy theory. You're like, you are bugging right now. You gotta get the real shit. That got. They got grades to the helmet. It's like motorcycles.

[Langston Kerman]

I did not know that mine is not a motorcycle helmet though for sure.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, it's like the like motorcycle almost like a. Helmets have a certain grade to them. Right, right, right, yeah.

[David (Borey)]

So like depending on how.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, like you have different levels of motorcycle helmets and these are the best type of helmets, the nine diamonds, like something like that. But when you have a bicycle helmet, it's the joints that is fitted to your thing. They come up under the chin that have your ears out, that's contorted to your head that make it look fucking cool as hell. But these are the real helmets.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I mean my shit's good. It's got like, it's got like the.

[Ali Siddiq]

If it's at Walmart, you're not finna sell me on no Walmart. What is a top tier Walmart?

[Langston Kerman]

Top tier Walmart.

[Ali Siddiq]

They don't wear pajama pants. They can't wear pajama pants. This is nobody. This is the one, this is the.

[Langston Kerman]

One with the fresh produce.

[David (Borey)]

It's a good ass spine.

[Langston Kerman]

Shout out to Stapleton. Lot of Africans working in there.

[Ali Siddiq]

Cycle community. Cycle community. Emailing, telling, not Walmart, no man, now.

[Langston Kerman]

I gotta look my up.

[Ali Siddiq]

But.

[Langston Kerman]

I do love bicycling. I was trying to get all my friends that nobody wanted to do it.

[David (Borey)]

I think it's crazy with cycling.

[Ali Siddiq]

Bicycle with me.

[Langston Kerman]

I would. I don't have a bike though, man. Alana got another one. It got a basket on it but we could go out. But I feel good about it. Drop a bike in the chat.

[David (Borey)]

Drop them bike.

[Ali Siddiq]

And he has a nice bike, people.

[Langston Kerman]

He has a nice bike. I got a good ass bike. I got a good ass.

[Ali Siddiq]

Is it what, how, what this is.

[Langston Kerman]

This is how I got stickers on. Is that what you mean?

[Ali Siddiq]

That's how the dude sold me my bike. He's like. I said man, why is this? Cause my bike was. I bought a giant for the first time. It was 1800 for this bike. And he was like, see what you can do. And I was like, but I'm not carrying it, I'm riding it. He said, but trying to tell you if your bike, if you can pick your bike up like this with two fingers, nothing. You got a mean ass bike. Like that's a serious. What was the frame?

[Langston Kerman]

You know what the frame was made.

[Ali Siddiq]

Out of some weird shit that he told me, you know. But I have a specialist now. I have a specialist in the Canada. I have both.

[Langston Kerman]

Those are good bikes.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, they're really good bikes.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm trying to upgrade though because I got one Because I was heavier. Now that I'm lighter, I could get a better bike.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you what, you had a mountain bike or you got a. I had.

[Langston Kerman]

It was like. It was almost like a beach cruiser, but the gear system was different. But it's like the shape of a beach cruiser. Okay, but now I could get like a little bit.

[Ali Siddiq]

The wheel's big.

[Langston Kerman]

Not that big like the way you said it.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I didn't even say no kind of weight. Hey, you have one big wheel.

[Langston Kerman]

One little wheel. He said, you got. You like the baby and baby kids, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I'm not even saying. You got a toe.

[Commercial Announcer]

Look.

[Langston Kerman]

Wheel on it.

[Ali Siddiq]

Your wheel's plastic, right? I'm like, damn. Okay.

[David (Borey)]

You got a silly mustache when you ride.

[Langston Kerman]

Twirled up on the end tire stick, though. I gotta keep it. I had to get it to support the weight.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Now the weight's down. I'm trying to get something cool. You got my old shoe to come.

[Ali Siddiq]

Congratulations.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you.

[David (Borey)]

You know, we haven't even done any introduction. This is fucking great.

[Ali Siddiq]

Let's.

[David (Borey)]

We're cooking, baby. We're gonn all that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, I'm me.

[David (Borey)]

All that. Don't you think for a second that.

[Ali Siddiq]

D that dies on the vine.

[Langston Kerman]

I want to introduce Cannondale owner.

[Ali Siddiq]

Come on.

[David (Borey)]

Fame cyclist has joined us today. That's how you know him best as a cyclist.

[Langston Kerman]

First and foremost.

[David (Borey)]

We couldn't be more excited for this guy. Phenomenal comedian. You know him from all of his goddamn special. Was one of the emperors of comedy, as it were right now. Writer, actor, comedian. All the sheep.

[Ali Siddiq]

No actor. No actor.

[David (Borey)]

You don't act at all?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, no, I'm a comic.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I stick to straight comedy. I have no desire to act.

[David (Borey)]

Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

A sitcom or movies, you wouldn't even.

[David (Borey)]

Fuck around over there.

[Ali Siddiq]

Well, this is my thing. I'm not gonna play no role that doesn't suit me. But I'd rather be known as a comic and rely on my comedy bones before anything else. Hell, yeah. I think with comedy now or with people's judgment of comedy, that they'll label you a great because you was in somebody's movie.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know, a comedic actor is different from a comic. You know what I'm saying? From a comedian. So. Oh, because he was in this movie. Cause he was on this sitcom, that makes him a great comic. No, it doesn't.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I agree with that. People conflate it like it's two different games completely.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's totally two different games.

[Langston Kerman]

Like it's being funny. Versus writing your own material, right?

[David (Borey)]

No, they're not even. They honestly don't even have that much to do with each other. And people pretend like there's, like, a crossover, but some of the funniest motherfuckers on camera are not good at standup.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, bad at it, vice versa. I've seen some of the best standups, and you see them in a movie, and it's just like, hey, did you get that ball, Rick? And you're like, damn, this guy was killing it to sell her, though.

[Ali Siddiq]

I like what you do with your gyms. Normally. It's not his words.

[CarMax Announcer]

Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So having a. That's a whole different muscle, you know, So I always. When people. I've. Since my whole career, 28 years, I've never came up to credits that weren't mine. And people used. I used to hear it used to be. It used to kill me. You seen him on Apollo. You seen him on his. I was like, I ain't never seen him on Apollo.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't even remember, like, he was on Apollo.

[David (Borey)]

I'm not gonna lie to you. That was a crazy flex. That is a fucking. What just to be like for you to be where you are in your career and be like, none of it. Nobody else gave it to me. This was all mine. That's a crazy flex.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, what's crazy? When somebody said, man, I saw you on Netflix, I said, no, you did not. No, you did not. You did not see me on Netflix. Nothing against Netflix, but you didn't see me on there. You know, I'm on my own situation. So that's. I say the fact that you even associated me with Netflix let me know that my marketing and my brand is really cooking. You know what I'm saying?

[David (Borey)]

The cookingest nigga in the game.

[Ali Siddiq]

Noted.

[Langston Kerman]

Psycho enthusiast, slash cook.

[Ali Siddiq]

Okay. And cook, meaning with comedy. Because, you know, I used to be a street pharmaceutical rep. You know, I had a couple of cooking situations that. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Also an amateur Pfizer rep. Got a long.

[David (Borey)]

Let me tell you why you need that eighth booster. That's the one that's really gonna get it. If we can all just get that eighth booster, it's really gonna take this thing out.

[Ali Siddiq]

I still wonder what was in that. In that shot.

[David (Borey)]

In that shot, sure.

[Ali Siddiq]

I still wonder what was in that shot.

[David (Borey)]

I do believe that there was stuff in there that helped. I just don't believe. I don't believe that they did enough of the pour back and forth to get all the stuff that ain't gonna help.

[Langston Kerman]

Out? Yeah, you gotta get it all out of the bottom.

[David (Borey)]

You gotta get all the bottom.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like when the body washes out. You cut it.

[David (Borey)]

They had a little bit of blue at the bottom.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think it's good enough, though. Like, taste it. Just taste it.

[Langston Kerman]

Did you get Covid, though?

[David (Borey)]

I did, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Did you get it early?

[David (Borey)]

I did not get it early.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, you ain't you a fake covider like I'm talking about. And I say that about people all the time. They call it. They call it after Covid. I don't respect. I don't respect your covert. And you didn't get it when the shit was hot. Like when it was hot off the presses. Like when fish come out the grease. Like, I'm like, I don't respect that shit. I wanted on death. I hit it on when it was at its highest. Like, yo, you said once it mutated.

[David (Borey)]

That wasn't real, Covid.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you had that April Covid.

[Ali Siddiq]

I had fresh.

[Langston Kerman]

Fresh in the house. Covid.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, unstepped on Covid. Like, my shit was not stepped on. Like, the shit I had was crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

You had Covid. When they lay you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Everybody, this is crazy. When you have it and you sitting. Cause I had to be in a hotel. I didn't want to get my family sick. So I'm in a Hotel for 32 days.

[Langston Kerman]

God damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Cause people don't realize everybody kept testing positive. You didn't just. After 14 days, you would still test positive for Covid. So you still didn't know if you had it or not. You know what I'm saying? But you still had symptoms. People were like, oh, you just went away in 14. Like, that's bullshit. You know what I'm saying? Everybody had it for a long time. Like y' all saying goddamn. But you gotta remember, people was in the hospital. Yeah, they wasn't in the hospital for 14 days. They was in the hospital for a long ass time.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

And so on the news, when you have it, when you had the hot shit, when Covid first came out and you sitting. You sitting in the first of all.

[Langston Kerman]

Do Covid shape me? My Covid was valid.

[Ali Siddiq]

That shit was stepped on. You know what I'm saying?

[David (Borey)]

Now my Covid are real.

[Langston Kerman]

No, my shit, my shit.

[Ali Siddiq]

My shit was for real.

[Langston Kerman]

They got it. They got it out of Montana. They growing up there.

[Ali Siddiq]

They. They had the. They had the. The shot at the time. This is when they had no shot. And you're in the hotel room, right? And you have to turn the TV off because they saying people are dying from the. That you got. Not like. Like, this ain't no random. It's like. So it was 32 deaths today. You like, like, oh, no, no, I'm next. I'm dead. You're next.

[Langston Kerman]

And then make another tick mark on.

[David (Borey)]

We miss you, Maurice.

[Ali Siddiq]

Day 28. My fucking legs swollen.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no, that's scary as hell.

[Ali Siddiq]

Both of them, like, both legs. Like, I wake up and both of my legs are, like, fucking huge.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, I have somebody else's legs. Fuck. And I'm like, yo, this is fucking crazy. And this shit was. This shit was fucking scary to have it at that time. And they don't have. Like, man, people was telling you to take all type of shit, you know, you just. Yeah, you just. You just. You in your own room just mixing, like. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how much magnesium I put in this, brother.

[David (Borey)]

You gotta try COD Live oil. I think that's the difference maker. We ain't got enough cod liver oil.

[Ali Siddiq]

What you got? You got zinc in your niggas calling each other. Hey, man, how much zinc do you put in this shit?

[Langston Kerman]

You like, what's this? Was it like a Covid. Hotel? Are you at the hotel?

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm at a hotel. Like, my hotel. Like, I booked a hotel. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't presume that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, I booked a hotel and went. And I went in and was in there 31, 32 days. And it was insane. And it was crazy. I moved hotels. One time, I just moved my room to another floor. It's like, I felt like I was in his room too long, and I never let the housekeeper. I just, like. Yo, just put towels outside the door.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, it was fucked up. And it was people that were calling, and it was just. Shit was bad, bro.

[David (Borey)]

No, that sounds terrible. I got the sniffles.

[Ali Siddiq]

And so you was going like, you couldn't taste. You couldn't taste shit. You. You, man. At one point, I woke up and, like. Yo, man, I was like, I don't think I can fucking hear. Like, wait a minute. I'm like. And I was calling my family. I'm like, yo, man, this shit is. This shit is mean. This is some mean shit. So I called my partner that was a doctor, and he was like, hey, man, listen, you gotta let this shit run its course. I'm like, no, you gonna have to give me a better goddamn.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

He said, man, I can, man, stay hydrated, you know, Put some Vitamins in your body. But, bro, I don't. It's like, man, we trying to figure this shit out. And I'm like, so you are part of the team, like, that's trying to figure this shit out. And they don't have nothing at this time.

[David (Borey)]

I think often about how much the shot was just meant to get us to the point where it could mutate at that rate, right? That, like, to your point, the original strand had killed so many people so fast, they already knew it. They were like, bro, this is about to take out, like, half the planet Loki. This is gonna be nuts. And so all we can do is figure out a way to get enough people to get it, survive it, and it mutates into something manageable versus what.

[Ali Siddiq]

It originally was, was crazy. So when I was taking the test. But the level of weakness that you have, this is when I knew that I was fucking vain as shit. This is when I knew I was vain. Like, I ain't gonna bullshit you. Like, day 30, day 30 was probably the craziest day. I'm getting ready to go take a shower, and I'm. And getting ready to take my clothes off and stuff, and my fucking heart just start beating erratically like it was crazy. This is 30 days in, and then I'm on the floor grabbing my heart, and I'm like, yo, this shit is crazy. And my mind said, but you can't die with this outfit on. You got on a wife beater and one sock and you. Cause you getting ready. I'm getting ready to get in the shower. I'm like. I'm like, no, I can't die like this because if they come in the room and they find me, it's gonna be all type of.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what I'm saying?

[Ali Siddiq]

What type of gay Ali was on? Had on one socket. A wife beater. You know what I'm saying? A wife beater and no bottoms, motherfucker. Weird. He's like, yo, I'm giving a die. Like goddamn kung fu. The kung fu man died. He had the shower on.

[Langston Kerman]

Where was his belt?

[Ali Siddiq]

Somebody find his belt. I took a shower. I took a shower and my heart is still crazy. And I put on a Nike suit that I had in my. I put on night suit, and I just laid in the bed like I wanted to be found.

[Langston Kerman]

I was like, yo.

[Ali Siddiq]

I closed my eyes. I said, man, this is. I just want to be peaceful. Yeah, I just closed my eyes.

[David (Borey)]

That's so funny that this is the universal symbol for dying in peace.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't Want to just die?

[Langston Kerman]

Because if you see it, you're like, oh, yeah.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

But if you would have went like this, we'd be like, yeah. What type of something happened to him?

[David (Borey)]

He died weird.

[Ali Siddiq]

Somebody murdered him.

[Langston Kerman]

He died weird. That sucks.

[David (Borey)]

That sucks.

[Langston Kerman]

He died. Nobody lays down like that. Everybody.

[David (Borey)]

But if you.

[Ali Siddiq]

If you cross your. Then you good, you know?

[David (Borey)]

He was.

[Ali Siddiq]

He was okay. He was peaceful.

[David (Borey)]

That's cool, man. He called his kids.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Probably didn't even feel it.

[Ali Siddiq]

He got to talk to him, right? So I was like, just imagine I wake up, like, nine hours later. Yeah. In the same room, and I ain't cutting the lights off. And I'm like, it's.

[Langston Kerman]

It's.

[Ali Siddiq]

Cause it was daytime. Yeah. Now it's dark in my room. I was like, damn. I think I went the wrong direction.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, shit.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, man. Is this purgatory or. I'm finna go to hell?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't feel like purgatory. Is that dark.

[Ali Siddiq]

Then my phone. Then my phone lit up.

[David (Borey)]

I can't see that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Then my phone lit up. I was like, ain't no cell phones in death.

[David (Borey)]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank God.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I was like, oh, shit, I'm still here. Yeah. But my heart was like, that shit was crazy. But now, since then, I think I've had panic attacks before. Like, one, maybe one a year for, like, maybe, like, eight, nine years prior. But now this shit is very frequent. Like, this shit is post Covid. Yeah. Like, I was. But since COVID man, this shit gets crazy to me.

[David (Borey)]

But do you think that's just brought on by the trauma of being essentially, like, in the. Like, on your deathbed for 32 days? Or do you think it's the COVID itself?

[Ali Siddiq]

I think something's fucking happened to me. Cause this shit had happened to me, and I'd be happy. Like, it's not like I'm going through something. I'm living my fucking life, and all of a sudden, I'm like, I can't breathe.

[David (Borey)]

Holy crap.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh. It's not like I cannot breathe at all. Like, weird. And I had to talk to myself, like, yo, if you can't fucking breathe, it's been like, 10 minutes, nigga. What you think you are, fucking Navy Seals? No, no, I'm definitely. I'm definitely dying. No, you fucking not. Goofy ass boy.

[David (Borey)]

Big dog, we gonna have to exhale. This is.

[Langston Kerman]

You're in cold stone. You gotta die of cold stone.

[Ali Siddiq]

I done been on the plane. It's like, yo, man, this shit is. This shit is crazy. And the lady Come by. Are you ready for your meal yet? Yes. This gotta be my last meal. My can't breathe ass.

[Langston Kerman]

I believe I. I believe if I requested the roti.

[Ali Siddiq]

Sometimes you gotta talk. You gotta talk yourself out of bullshit. Oh, yo, man. Like, oh, man, I am all the time.

[David (Borey)]

Oh.

[Langston Kerman]

Constantly, constantly.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, like, when something happening, you like, hey, man, I'm finna do this. Don't do that shit. And you gotta really get into your mind. Like, it's like, sometimes I be thinking my mind and who I am is two different motherfucking people. Like, I'm like, yo, let me talk to this nigga. Cause right now he on some bullshit.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, no, you're acting up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David (Borey)]

I asked you to stop doing this.

[Langston Kerman]

Yo, yo, when you have to talk to yourself like that, like, when you have to parent yourself and your own friend.

[Ali Siddiq]

Say, my man, we went over this. Hey, bro, say, my man. Come on. Come over here real quick. Come over here, let me talk to you. Cause you on. And then at the time, hey, bruh, what type of shit you on right now?

[David (Borey)]

This is actually the one thing that can hurt your life. And then you're, like, doing it.

[Langston Kerman]

You know you're lying. Don't lie to me.

[Ali Siddiq]

Are you trying to pull a wool over my Y. Your brain is saying some, but your real self is like, yo, man, you're on some right now, bro. I don't.

[David (Borey)]

It's not like, work. I'm here the whole time.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah. It's just us in here. That's so funny.

[Ali Siddiq]

Who you lying to?

[Langston Kerman]

Who you are? It's just. It's me and you in here.

[Ali Siddiq]

Me and you, big dog.

[David (Borey)]

I'm the only.

[Ali Siddiq]

You lie to everybody, Mama.

[David (Borey)]

Look, I get why you lie sometimes.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, man, you know I know you, right? Yeah, I've been here the whole time, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Never left. Never left.

[Ali Siddiq]

So, you know. You know, when I think about this, the first movie comes to my mind. When I saw the movie, I was like, God damn it. This is it. Mr. Brooks.

[Langston Kerman]

I never even seen him.

[Ali Siddiq]

You ever seen Mr. Brooks?

[David (Borey)]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, man, this is one of Kevin Costner's fucking best movies.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a bold statement.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I'm making that. I'm standing on that scene.

[Langston Kerman]

He's got real hits.

[Ali Siddiq]

This Mr. Brooks is the man. Kevin Costner has never been this good.

[David (Borey)]

Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

All right, I'm staying away.

[Langston Kerman]

What year is it?

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't know. The year. I know Mr. Brooks is fucking awesome.

[David (Borey)]

Mr. Brooks is timing.

[Ali Siddiq]

Whatever this shit came out is fucking crazy. You know what I'M saying. But you look up that movie, bro. Yeah. I give you my personal number. If you watch this movie and you don't think Kevin Costner, this is the coldest movie you've been in, call me and tell me so.

[David (Borey)]

Okay?

[Ali Siddiq]

All right. I'm standing on that, Mr. Brooks.

[David (Borey)]

I'm gonna check it out.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's like when I look at eddie Murphy's movies, Mr. Church. Best fucking movie.

[David (Borey)]

I don't even know Mr. Church.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Of all Eddie Murphy's movies.

[Ali Siddiq]

All of them, Mr. Church.

[Langston Kerman]

Ah, that's tough.

[Ali Siddiq]

If your face ain't wet doing this goddamn movie, you let me know. Cause, man, I see with Denzel, best movie, John Q by far.

[David (Borey)]

What other Mr. Movies you know?

[Ali Siddiq]

Mr. Mob. Yeah, I did run.

[Langston Kerman]

I ain't seen none of the Mr. Movies.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hit me with some more of them spinoffs.

[David (Borey)]

I'm trying to get into Mr. Cinematic Universe.

[Ali Siddiq]

Look up Mr. Brooks. I'm gonna check them both out. I'm telling you.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait, what'd you say for Denzel?

[David (Borey)]

John Q. John Q. John Q is a unbelievable film that they, I think, downplayed.

[Ali Siddiq]

They downplayed it. And John Q is a fucking monster.

[David (Borey)]

That's a good movie.

[Ali Siddiq]

If you. It's like, I give you four. I give you four cry parts. I give you four.

[David (Borey)]

And that motherfucker's hit.

[Ali Siddiq]

When they look. Oh, it was like.

[Langston Kerman]

It's four.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's four parts that you gonna need some shit like this in. They hit in a way where I.

[David (Borey)]

Would call it beforehand, be like, hey, bro, you're gonna cry. Yeah, this is gonna be Cry Ugly.

[Ali Siddiq]

Cry.

[Langston Kerman]

Is John Q the movie that's made you cry the most in your life?

[Ali Siddiq]

A Man Called Otto.

[David (Borey)]

That's the one that makes you.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, A Man Called Otto is Goddamn. What's my man from Cast Away?

[Langston Kerman]

Tom Hanks.

[Ali Siddiq]

Tom Hanks. Best movie. A Man Called Otto.

[Langston Kerman]

You're pulling deep cuts on very famous actors. Yeah, well, John Q's not a deep cut, though.

[David (Borey)]

I feel like.

[Langston Kerman]

John Q. John Q. Or is that not a famous movie? I feel like. I thought it was a very.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's like they. These are the movies that people. They downplay these movies, man. And these are like. It's like damn near downplaying life. Life is a fucking classic.

[David (Borey)]

Life comedy of all time.

[Langston Kerman]

Life is maybe his best movie for me.

[Ali Siddiq]

Who, Eddie.

[Langston Kerman]

Eddie.

[David (Borey)]

It's my favorite.

[Langston Kerman]

I put life up there. It's like.

[Ali Siddiq]

For me, it would be like, after John Q.

[Langston Kerman]

After John. For Eddie Murphy.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, after John Q. Then Life.

[David (Borey)]

No, Eddie.

[Langston Kerman]

No no, no, Eddie wasn't John Q. Oh, you're talking about Mr. Church. You said Mr. Church.

[Ali Siddiq]

I mean, Mr. Church.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, but that's still. We're still in the top three.

[David (Borey)]

Eddie Griffin and John Q. Eddie. That's cool.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, actually, Eddie Murphy. My favorite Eddie Murphy movie is the Nutty Professor. But I have to, like, with a caveat. I saw it that summer in Atlanta, and I never seen something like that happen in a movie theater before. I, like, I remember I was like nine years old. We go to see the Nutty Professor. It was like the idea of comedy can transcend.

[Ali Siddiq]

You were how many years old?

[Langston Kerman]

I was about nine. I was about nine years old. It was the summer that the Olympics were in Atlanta. And we went and saw. With my uncle, we went and saw the Nutty Professor. And the scene around the table, in my head, people were standing up. I'd never seen a movie go that crazy. Like, it changed my whole life.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know why it wasn't for us? Because we had already seen him do.

[Langston Kerman]

It before, like, on that level.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because I was always, like, on that level. Cause the first level, it's like he's doing something that. Which is incredible. But we've seen him do it before because of coming to America.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that was character.

[Ali Siddiq]

Those characters. Do you feel like he went in. He was the characters that. This.

[Langston Kerman]

He did whiteface.

[Ali Siddiq]

This was the first time.

[David (Borey)]

Nailed it.

[Langston Kerman]

Nailed Whiteface.

[David (Borey)]

Fucking nailed it.

[Ali Siddiq]

The first time you seen Eddie go fucking nuts in a scene with him. In the scene. It's just him and Arsenio, man, in that barbershop. It's so classic that he's going so close to back and forth. If a man wants to be called.

[Langston Kerman]

Muhammad, I'mma call him Clay. I'm going to call him Clay.

[Ali Siddiq]

He's doing a different role race. Yeah, it's like. It's too.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Iconic. So when you see him doing another professor, you expect him to do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I didn't. I was.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because you were you. You. Different era.

[Langston Kerman]

No, but I had seen. I had seen. I was nine. I was an Eddie Murphy, like.

[Ali Siddiq]

But you were nine. He coming to America came out. We was in the theater. You were not born.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I was not born. But by the time I saw another Professor, I probably seen coming to America 12 times.

[David (Borey)]

It scared me how much it made me Nutty Professor.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

Where I was like, bro, I didn't know that this joy was in me. Am I not accessing?

[Langston Kerman]

That's what I'm saying.

[Ali Siddiq]

Coming to America.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you think coming to America is funnier than Nutty Professor.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hell yes.

[David (Borey)]

I think pound for pound as films, Coming to America is a funnier film. I think when you are nine absorbing that.

[Langston Kerman]

I ran Nutty professor back about a month ago.

[Ali Siddiq]

It is so bad it still hits. But if you watch, if you watch Coming to America, Eddie is going fucking ballistic in here. He is going running so many plays in here.

[Langston Kerman]

Sexual chocolate is crazy.

[Ali Siddiq]

Look at what line from Nutty professor do you say or you hear people say on a random basis?

[Langston Kerman]

I hope you fart to your asshole.

[Ali Siddiq]

Folks.

[David (Borey)]

Nobody the women be shopping is Dave Chappelle. That's not even Eddie Murphy yet.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Nobody says that. That's too long.

[Langston Kerman]

We say it in my house, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

I said random. Let's go outside of your home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sexual chocolate is going to be said somewhere.

[David (Borey)]

If I go a week without hearing it, I had a bad week.

[Ali Siddiq]

If you have sex with chocolate and when somebody talk about names, he's going to talk about is a man want to be called Muhammad. God damn it. You know what I'm saying?

[David (Borey)]

That boy good.

[Langston Kerman]

That boy. It is top 10.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, man. It's so much. It's so much. There's so many things that's repeated from this movie and just random. Life.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Over. That's how I judge things. Like, even with life, you have things in life.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't be scared.

[Ali Siddiq]

You gonna eat your corn? You eat your corn Again.

[David (Borey)]

Another moment where I was like, God damn, this is. This is what I dreamt of. Harlem Nights is like that for mes. Yeah, Harlem Nights is tougher for me. I. I felt like they didn't fully know how to. To give everybody their moment, like, as an ensemble.

[Ali Siddiq]

Everybody had a moment, though. They had a moment, but Dela Ree had a moment.

[Langston Kerman]

That's who I go to first. When I think about me, though, it's Del.

[Ali Siddiq]

Richard had a moment. Eddie had several moments. It's like, who else did they need moments? This film here, Harlem Nights was insane.

[David (Borey)]

I just mean that, like, when you watch life, it's such a beautiful balance of like Martin being at his best, Eddie being at his best. They're both cooking. You could watch that movie and just focus on Martin.

[Ali Siddiq]

Who else was in the Harlem Knights was at their best? These motherfuckers was old.

[David (Borey)]

That's the problem.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

How quick you wanted Richard to be like, n. I'm on my deathbed.

[Langston Kerman]

I.

[Ali Siddiq]

That was one.

[Langston Kerman]

Red Fox was on his wheel.

[Ali Siddiq]

Red Fox. Oh, he like, God damn. I got Tax evasion shit going on. I ain't thinking about this goddamn movie.

[Langston Kerman]

The.

[David (Borey)]

The glasses is Redd Fox being the funniest. I just wish we had him fully cooking.

[Ali Siddiq]

Red was cooking. Swallow it. Red had a lot of classic shit in there.

[David (Borey)]

For me, the second best part of Harlem nights next to Della Reese is arsenic. That's Arsenio.

[Ali Siddiq]

Arsenio went nuts. He went nuts in Harlem and went nuts in Harlemite shit. And coming to America.

[David (Borey)]

Went nuts.

[Ali Siddiq]

Is that I'm going to eat you and your friends. You crazy ass man. That dude was crazy. And then that goddamn. And we gonna take it to the G. We gonna get down that night and say Jesus. It's like it's locked of shit. There's a lot of shit in there, man. And this coming to America, you can't. Who is that? Just a man I met in the restaurant. You can't deny. Yeah. Like this shit is crazy. This movie's not insane.

[David (Borey)]

He really had like a God run. And I.

[Ali Siddiq]

You think that's enough? Make it a cool meal.

[Langston Kerman]

But none of that makes me laugh. As hard as the grandma in Nutty. I gotta be the grandma Nutty Professor. This may be the funniest thing I've ever.

[David (Borey)]

Come on, Cletus.

[Langston Kerman]

Mike Douglas used to make me boys.

[Ali Siddiq]

I see you like Vogel 100%.

[Langston Kerman]

I never straight from it. I'm nasty. I'm nasty.

[David (Borey)]

Look, man, we need to take a break.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh yeah.

[David (Borey)]

This has been insane. We're going to take a break.

[Ali Siddiq]

We're going to come back.

[David (Borey)]

Back. No, we. Brother. We'll squeeze one in. This has been a long run and I'd be irresponsible not to do something about it. We're going to take a break. We're coming back. More Ali, Sadiq.

[Ali Siddiq]

More.

[David (Borey)]

My mama told me.

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[Ali Siddiq]

It's an Olympics you'll never forget. Prime time in Milan the month. Chloe Kim with the gold medal. Flex the stars Ilya Malinin.

[David (Borey)]

Out of this world.

[Ali Siddiq]

The spectacle from beautiful northern Italy with very special guests every night of the Olympics. Experience the world's biggest show, primetime In Milan tonight, 8, 7 Central on NBC. And Peacock.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey. This is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Langston Kerman]

As athletes, our lives are about having a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust. So when it came to getting the best mortgage, we chose PennyMac. PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ali Siddiq]

Look, if you hate cops just because.

[Langston Kerman]

They'Re cops, the next time you get.

[David (Borey)]

In trouble, call a crackhead.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't call me. Or Langston Kerman. We're back.

[Ali Siddiq]

We're back. We're back.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't call me.

[David (Borey)]

Don't call me. I'm not.

[Langston Kerman]

I mean, I'm a phone call guy, though.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I call you, we talk.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[David (Borey)]

We talk. Talk somehow more than we talk here, which is crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

That is true. Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah. We talk every day.

[Ali Siddiq]

You text or talk?

[David (Borey)]

No, we'll be on the phone.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't really. I'm not funny in text. I don't feel. And I. I hate the tone of text messages.

[David (Borey)]

I disagree. You make me laugh in text.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah.

[David (Borey)]

I think you're funny in text.

[Langston Kerman]

I just don't. I don't feel like I have all my tools available.

[David (Borey)]

I get you. You got a signature voice.

[Langston Kerman]

I got like.

[David (Borey)]

I just.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't like text. I don't like texting people I like.

[David (Borey)]

That's fair.

[Langston Kerman]

If I. If I. If I dislike you, I'll text you all day, I guess.

[David (Borey)]

Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

Disclaimer.

[David (Borey)]

Ali, we want to close out this episode by doing a voicemail together. Our listeners send us voicemails. This one's exciting. Can we do the devil one, please?

[Ali Siddiq]

Well, now, what's down with it? It's your boy. Do be the D. I'm coming from New Orleans with this question here. Got love for y'. All. Been supporting both of you guys since the beginning.

[Langston Kerman]

But on to other matters.

[David (Borey)]

I don't like how he talks, bro.

[Ali Siddiq]

That guy on your special, you were.

[Langston Kerman]

You weren't afraid that he could basically.

[Ali Siddiq]

Snap his fingers and destroy your reality? Because I'm pretty sure one of those rings was the reality stone, my brother.

[Langston Kerman]

But no, the question I have for.

[Ali Siddiq]

You guys is, and this is a.

[Langston Kerman]

This is a conspiracy theory.

[Ali Siddiq]

What if God made men and the devil made women?

[Langston Kerman]

And I only asked that because women's.

[Ali Siddiq]

Ovaries are in the shape of a goat head, AKA the baffle mitt. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just want to know what you guys would think about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Keep up the good work.

[Ali Siddiq]

Much love, you guys. I don't believe that. Because goat and women both taste the ladies.

[Langston Kerman]

Two of my favorite stews.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'll be honest.

[Langston Kerman]

Both best prepared by Jamaicans.

[Ali Siddiq]

Maybe you had a garage today just going by that.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah. I think I venture to say, and I apologize if this comes off mean, bro. You're just gay. That was just. You're a closeted homosexual person who's struggling with. With your relationship to women.

[Langston Kerman]

To women in general. Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

And women in general.

[Ali Siddiq]

You are rejected by a goat. Yeah. You can't get none of this goat pussy.

[David (Borey)]

You can't have goat pussy till you love yourself.

[Langston Kerman]

Also, the devil doesn't look like a goat to me. Ok? Ba bphet is not. I don't know how it became.

[Ali Siddiq]

That was like Trump has no resemblance to a goat.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm saying, bro, the most devilish people I know don't look like God. Like, I don't know. I don't understand how Baphomet became. I don't know a lot about demons, but I don't understand how that became the placeholder for the devil or whatever. To me, the devil looks like a handsome guy who can convince you to do shit, right? That's like what the devil looks like.

[Ali Siddiq]

It used to be a dog.

[David (Borey)]

Devil. Used to be a dog.

[Ali Siddiq]

Used to be the symbol. Used to be a dog. Canine. They always use it in devil worshiping dogs.

[David (Borey)]

Oh, that's interesting. Like in.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why he's a dog catch catcher.

[David (Borey)]

Atomic Dog. We're back. Hell, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Y' all gonna stop talking about my frat brother. I let y' all slide on the first. On the first. Atomic Dog. Okay, I think they gonna make me say something. Hey, we haven't said anything bad.

[David (Borey)]

We just named some traits.

[Ali Siddiq]

Big R, big rule to George Clinton. Rude. Hey, I was like, okay, maybe they saw it on my hand. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

I really just enjoyed the song.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's a good song. It's a great song.

[Langston Kerman]

It's fantastic.

[Ali Siddiq]

It blew out more black men, knees, Acl, mcl. As soon as it go out, it don't matter how old you, it's up. It is up.

[David (Borey)]

I don't believe that the devil made women. I'm a big fan.

[Langston Kerman]

I like women.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, I'm a big fan.

[Langston Kerman]

If anything, he might have made men.

[Ali Siddiq]

I like him a lot. Devil has no.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not a contest.

[Ali Siddiq]

He has no creative power. He has no creative power at all. Ali.

[David (Borey)]

Like, I like him the most.

[Ali Siddiq]

He was made. He was made himself.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think he's a self made man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, man.

[David (Borey)]

The devil. The devil got it out the mud dog.

[Langston Kerman]

I used to have a bit like that. I was real sick in the beginning.

[David (Borey)]

Nah, you were tripping, Ali. This was great, man. Thank you for doing this.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, thank you for still upset about this Atomic Dog reference.

[David (Borey)]

Sorry, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, look.

[David (Borey)]

Hey, look. We'll voucher the parking lot. You ain't got to pay for it, huh?

[Ali Siddiq]

That's on us or less a discounted rate.

[David (Borey)]

You get to ride out of here on your big motorcycle all by yourself.

[Ali Siddiq]

The devil looks like this big headed guy right here. Like, it's a big head ass dude. Yeah, okay. Big head ass dude.

[David (Borey)]

Yeah, he's got a big head.

[Ali Siddiq]

That is crazy. Why. But why would your head be that big if you hold a brain big.

[Langston Kerman]

Enough to create a person.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I think smart. Compare fact. No doubt.

[Langston Kerman]

It's tough because it look like ass from this angle.

[Ali Siddiq]

Exactly. I'm like, yo, man, I would. I would.

[Langston Kerman]

I.

[Ali Siddiq]

If I did, if I could create a. I would create my head a little different than that. Like, yo, put my in one spot.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe take the seam out.

[Ali Siddiq]

Maybe I need to grow some hair. Maybe I'm not Tyrese and I need to be. Goddamn, I need to have a fro on top of this.

[David (Borey)]

I think I'm gonna concentrate on man pieces. Then I'll get to turning white people.

[Ali Siddiq]

This goddamn ass head I got right now. I can't wield my thoughts and make my. Like, this is a BBL head. It's not even.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it looks like you bought it in the doctor.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm right. Thank you, fellas.

[David (Borey)]

You tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got.

[Ali Siddiq]

Going on alizadeep.com all things you can find me on YouTube, go on my website, you know, grab some tickets and one of the tour dates and make sure if you grabbing tickets for me, go to my website or the venue that you trying to go to. Do not go on the Internet and get tricked by somebody called Ticket Mr. Get Yourself Together.

[Langston Kerman]

Another great Mr. Movie.

[David (Borey)]

What you got?

[Langston Kerman]

Nothing crazy cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Come see us in New Orleans. Yeah, we're gonna be in New Orleans March 22nd, 23rd.

[David (Borey)]

I think it's 2024. It don't matter. New Orleans.

[Langston Kerman]

Patreon.com mymamatoti Sports drink.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[David (Borey)]

Follow the Patreon with us on Patreon, y'. All. Y' all have been going crazy already, but. But we want more of you to join us on Patreon. You can see me on tour. I'm still on the Aspiring Deadbeat tour. You can get all my tickets@langston kerman.com and most importantly, send us your drops. Your own conspiracy theories. Tell us why you think Yakub's head looks like [e-mail] give us a call at 844. Little moms, we would love to hear from you. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Bye, bitch.

[Ali Siddiq]

And then she said in my ear, go deeper.

[David (Borey)]

Stay with me now.

[Ali Siddiq]

And what hurt me is I was already all the way in.

[David (Borey)]

My Mama Told me, as is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kernlan, co hosted by David.

[Langston Kerman]

Borey, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani.

[David (Borey)]

And Joelle Monique Co produced by Bay.

[Langston Kerman]

Wayne Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman.

[David (Borey)]

Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger. You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube. Follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ali Siddiq]

Holidays have come and gone once again. But if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift, well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ali Siddiq]

See terms Owning a home is full of surprises.

[Langston Kerman]

Some wonderful, some not so much.

[Ali Siddiq]

And when something breaks, it can feel.

[Langston Kerman]

Like the whole day unravels.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's why HomeServe exists for as little as 4.99amonth.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Ali Siddiq]

For plans starting a just $4.99 a month, go to homeserve.com that's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply. Uncovered repairs. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.