"The Real COVID" (with Ali Siddiq)

Podcast: My Momma Told Me
Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Guest: Ali Siddiq
Release Date: February 17, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, comedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie sit down with the ever-hilarious Ali Siddiq to explore some classic and offbeat Black conspiracy theories—with a special focus on the COVID-19 experience. What starts as a wild, laugh-filled conversation about Tyrese’s baldness, the legacy of Southern rap, and questionable bike fashion, pivots into a candid, gripping, and darkly funny account of Ali’s harrowing encounter with "real" COVID at the peak of the pandemic. The episode wraps up with signature banter, a rundown of “Mr.” movies, and a voicemail about whether the devil made women.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Tyrese Baldness Conspiracy

• The trio joke about how Tyrese has been bald forever and the possible reasons behind it.
  • Ali Siddiq: “Since the Coca Cola commercial, I never seen him…never had hair” (07:00)
  • Theories range from alopecia, to wanting to stand out from other model-types, to possible white ancestry—drawn with the group’s trademark irreverence.

2. Southern Rap Legacy and Houston’s Influence

• Ali defends Houston’s foundational role in hip hop; particularly in pioneering independent labels and the “chopped and screwed” sound.
  • Ali Siddiq: “Houston rappers created all of this shit... Rap-A-Lot like ’87.” (09:36)
  • The hosts are surprised to learn how labels like Rap-A-Lot and Suave House predate others like No Limit, Death Row, and even major moves out of Atlanta.

3. Old-School Black Childhood and Parenting

• Stories include fights leading to respect and friendship, and the time-honored tradition of “getting your ass whooped” by your parents—often followed by some dinner and a life-lesson talk.
  • Langston: “My mom had a lot of nights like that at dinner... pretty one-sided before I was big.” (23:04)
  • The hosts and Ali explore how parenting styles have mellowed over generations, reminiscing on strict, almost theatrical discipline.

4. Bike Culture and Black Community Perceptions

• Ali recounts buying a fancy bike as an adult and catching flak from Black folks who assumed he’d “lost his truck” and was down on his luck.
  • Ali Siddiq: “I couldn’t take the pressure from Black people…” (33:17)
• The trio talk about grown-man bike gear, helmet styles, and Black skepticism toward lycra and cycling paraphernalia.

5. Comedy, Acting, and "Making It" on Your Own

• Ali dissects the difference between stand-up comics and comedic actors, expressing loyalty to stand-up as a calling.
  • Ali Siddiq: “I’m a comic...I stick to straight comedy. I have no desire to act. A comedic actor is different from a comic.” (41:04)
  • The group shares how sometimes being on film—even successfully—can distort how audiences view a comic’s actual talents.

6. Ali Siddiq’s Harrowing “Real COVID” Story

(Main Theme Segment: 44:05-53:40)

• Ali differentiates between “real COVID” (early, high-mortality strain) and the variants that followed.
  • Ali Siddiq: “If you didn’t get [COVID] when the shit was hot, I don’t respect your COVID. I wanted on death. I hit it on when it was at its highest…unstepped-on COVID.” (45:15)
• He recounts spending 32 days quarantined in a hotel, fearing for his life while absorbing grim news reports and following desperate advice.
  • Ali Siddiq: “You're in the hotel room... and you have to turn the TV off because they saying people are dying from the [illness] you got... So it's 32 deaths today—you like, oh, no, I'm next.” (46:24)
  • His brutal, honest take on the symptoms, length of illness, and the psychological toll is injected with gallows humor.
• Perhaps the wildest moment comes when Ali describes fearing death, insisting on dying in presentable clothes:
  • Ali Siddiq: “Day 30...I'm on the floor grabbing my heart, and my mind said—but you can't die with this outfit on... I put on a Nike suit and I just laid in the bed like I wanted to be found.” (50:49)
• Post-COVID, Ali reveals ongoing panic attacks and acknowledges both psychological and possibly physiological trauma, all delivered in a raw, funny, and moving way.

7. Comedy and the Art of “Talking to Yourself”

• The group riffs about the mental gymnastics involved in self-parenting and talking oneself down from irrational thoughts, especially in adulthood and post-trauma.

8. Deep Dives: The “Mr.” Cinematic Universe

• The trio go on a unique tangent, giving their picks for most under-appreciated movies by “Mr.”—“Mr. Brooks” (Kevin Costner), “Mr. Church” (Eddie Murphy), and “A Man Called Otto” (Tom Hanks), plus the all-time classic “John Q” (Denzel Washington).
  • Ali Siddiq: “If your face ain't wet doing this goddamn movie, you let me know.” (57:18)
  • Much of the segment is a spirited debate about comedy classics, fan-favorite lines, and the legacy of Eddie Murphy.

9. Listener Voicemail: Did the Devil Make Women?

(Voicemail segment: 70:35–74:28)

• A listener asks whether God made men and the Devil made women, referencing the “goat head” shape of ovaries.
  • Ali, Langston, and David respond with both jokes and a rebuttal, defending women and dismissing the theory as misogyny and projection.
  • David (Borey): “You’re just gay. That was just—you’re a closeted homosexual person who’s struggling with your relationship to women.” (72:02)
  • Ali Siddiq: “You can’t have goat pussy till you love yourself.” (72:30)
• Discussion veers into pop-cultural images of the devil, ending with a loving reassertion of respect for women.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Early COVID:

  • "Unstepped-on COVID, like, my shit was not stepped on. Like, the shit I had was crazy." — Ali Siddiq (45:17)
  • “I'm on the floor grabbing my heart… but you can't die with this outfit on.” — Ali Siddiq (50:49)

• On Independent Hip Hop:

  • “Houston rappers created all of this shit... Rap-A-Lot like ‘87.” — Ali Siddiq (09:36)

• On Stand-Up vs. Acting:

  • "A comedic actor is different from a comic... from a comedian. So. Oh, because he was in this movie. Cause he was on this sitcom, that makes him a great comic. No, it doesn’t.” — Ali Siddiq (41:39)

• On Mental Health After COVID:

  • “I think something's fucking happened to me. Cause this shit had happened…and I'd be happy…all of a sudden, I'm like, I can’t breathe.” — Ali Siddiq (53:46)

Important Timestamps

• Tyrese conspiracy & baldness: 05:27–07:30
• Southern rap, Houston's role: 09:04–13:15
• Hip hop origin stories: 13:42–15:47
• Old-school parenting & fights: 20:44–27:39
• Black bike culture & social pressure: 32:08–39:09
• Ali on being a comic, not an actor: 41:00–43:33
• Ali’s "real COVID" saga: 44:05–53:46
• Panic attacks, post-COVID struggles: 53:36–55:06
• “Mr.” movies and comedy classics riff: 56:05–62:35
• Listener voicemail: devil made women: 70:35–74:28

Tone and Style

The episode blends classic barbershop humor with deep-dive Black cultural commentary. The hosts and Ali riff, roast, reminisce, and inject moments of honesty and vulnerability amid the punchlines. Raw language, quick wit, and personal storytelling dominate the energy.

Final Thoughts

This episode is essential listening for fans of stand-up, Black popular culture, and genuine, hilarious storytelling about surviving tough times. Ali Siddiq’s COVID account is as much a time capsule as it is a stand-up routine, and the hosts' chemistry keeps the serious moments accessible. Whether discussing music, masculinity, or medical trauma, “The Real COVID” stays true to the podcast’s irreverent, insightful heart.