The Secret Hormones in Fast Food...(with Ayanna Dookie)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Secret Hormones in Fast Food..." with Ayanna Dookie

Podcast Information:

• Title: My Momma Told Me
• Hosts: Langston Kerman and David Gordon
• Guest: Ayanna Dookie
• Release Date: December 3, 2024

---

1. Episode Introduction

In this episode titled "The Secret Hormones in Fast Food...", hosts Langston Kerman and David Gordon are joined by comedian and former Weight Watchers employee, Ayanna Dookie. The trio delves into a provocative conspiracy theory suggesting that fast food, specifically McDonald's French fries, influences hormonal development in young girls, leading to premature physical changes.

---

2. The Fast Food Hormone Conspiracy

Ayanna Dookie initiates the discussion by sharing a personal story from her time at Weight Watchers. She recounts an encounter with a client who blamed her physique on McDonald's French fries, claiming they caused early breast development.

Ayanna Dookie [02:19]: "I used to work for Weight Watchers and I remember I had a black woman come and say to me... she was like, the reason why your chest has gotten so big is because your mother is feeding you French fries from McDonald's."
(02:19)

Langston and David express skepticism but remain open to exploring the theory's validity, discussing the potential impact of diet on hormonal health.

---

3. Personal Experiences and Family Dynamics

Ayanna delves deeper into her personal life, explaining how her father's belief in the fast food theory contributed to her parents' divorce. She describes the emotional turmoil of being blamed for her own physical development.

Ayanna Dookie [15:01]: "It was my dad who argued with my mom, saying that it was the French fries that was making me and my sister busty."
(15:01)

The hosts empathize, sharing their own experiences with body image and parental expectations, highlighting the psychological effects of such beliefs.

---

4. Scientific Exploration of the Theory

Langston and David transition into a more analytical discussion, examining the plausibility of the conspiracy theory from a scientific standpoint. Langston presents research indicating that unhealthy fats, sugars, and chemicals like phthalates in fast food can stress the adrenal glands and disrupt hormonal balance.

Langston Kerman [43:35]: "Our body produces 200 hormones that all play a role in how we develop and function. By adding in junk food... you are putting stress... which influences the way your body regulates hormones."
(43:35)

David questions the direct correlation between McDonald's French fries and specific physical changes, prompting a nuanced debate on the broader impacts of diet on hormonal health.

David Gordon [46:56]: "How direct is that correlation? Is it about overall development rather than just breast size?"
(46:56)

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5. Societal and Cultural Implications

The conversation broadens to address societal beauty standards and their evolution. Ayanna discusses how cultural preferences for curvaceous figures among Black and Hispanic communities may pressure individuals to conform, potentially impacting mental health and body image.

Ayanna Dookie [66:16]: "In our culture, it's deemed more attractive to be thicker, and I wonder how much that affects our health."
(66:16)

Langston adds that socioeconomic factors, such as living in food deserts, exacerbate the issue by limiting access to healthy foods, thereby increasing dependency on processed fast foods rich in unhealthy fats and sugars.

---

6. Hormonal Health and Development

Ayanna shares insights into how hormonal imbalances not only affect physical appearance but also contribute to health conditions like lupus, which disproportionately affects Black and Brown women. She emphasizes the vulnerability of women due to the complexity of their hormonal systems.

Ayanna Dookie [65:28]: "Women have a heavier cocktail of hormones to deal with, making us more vulnerable to conditions like lupus."
(65:28)

Langston and David discuss the implications of early puberty, particularly among marginalized communities, and how it intertwines with issues of health, self-esteem, and societal expectations.

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7. Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts and Ayanna reflect on the importance of awareness and education regarding diet and hormonal health. They acknowledge the complexity of the conspiracy theory, recognizing both its metaphorical truth and its sensational aspects.

Langston Kerman [70:34]: "Being careful in the way you speak to young girls makes a big impact on how they see themselves and are treated in the world."
(70:34)

They encourage listeners to critically evaluate the information they consume and advocate for better nutritional education and support systems to mitigate unwarranted health concerns.

---

Notable Quotes

• Ayanna Dookie [02:19]: "She was like, the reason why your chest has gotten so big is because your mother is feeding you French fries from McDonald's."
• Langston Kerman [43:35]: "By adding in junk food... you are putting stress... which influences the way your body regulates hormones."
• David Gordon [46:56]: "How direct is that correlation? Is it about overall development rather than just breast size?"
• Ayanna Dookie [65:28]: "Women have a heavier cocktail of hormones to deal with, making us more vulnerable to conditions like lupus."
• Langston Kerman [70:34]: "Being careful in the way you speak to young girls makes a big impact on how they see themselves and are treated in the world."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of "My Momma Told Me" adeptly blends humor with critical discussions on health, body image, and societal pressures. Through personal anecdotes and scientific inquiry, Langston, David, and Ayanna challenge listeners to rethink common beliefs about diet and hormonal health, particularly within the Black community.

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Connect with the Hosts and Guest:

• Langston Kerman: Follow on all social media platforms, visit mymamapodmail.com
• David Gordon: Follow for updates and offerings on hormonal health discussions
• Ayanna Dookie: Instagram @adookie | Website

Upcoming Events:

• Start the Steal Tour: Catch Langston and David live in Seattle on December 12th and Portland, Oregon on December 15th. Tickets available on their websites and social media.

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For more insightful conversations and groundbreaking conspiracy theories, subscribe to "My Momma Told Me" on your favorite podcast platform.

Transcript

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[Ayanna Dookie]

I wonder, you know, I see I used to work for Weight Watchers and I remember I had a black woman come and say to me. She goes, oh, I don't want to be as small as you, you know, and. Because in her mind, yeah. I mean, this is when I was. I was like a size 6. I wasn't even like. And I'm still. I'm still pretty.

[David Gordon]

She comes in eating McDonald's French fr. He's like, I ain't trying to.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, you know, I'm an asshole. I told her I don't know how I didn't get fired from that job. I told her. I said, don't worry. This requires work.

[Langston Kerman]

Yo, you.

[David Gordon]

You. You were taking head shots at Weight Watchers. That's crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

She's having a tough time. A. Let that one slide.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Get out my face, you fat.

[Langston Kerman]

Just let that one roll off your shoulders, player.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Damn. Nah, you ain't gonn.

[DSW Voice]

Idiosyncras.

[Langston Kerman]

God damn the government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Martians invented turkey stuffing. Y'all can't tell me nothing.

[David Gordon]

Whoa. Jibbidi bop boop Jibbidi bop boop Jibbidi bop boo. Jibbity world. Welcome, little mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

[Langston Kerman]

Me, the podcast, where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

[David Gordon]

Theories, and we finally work to prove that International Black Love Day was not founded on February 13 as a spiritual partner to Valentine's Day, but in fact, as a way to double tax the black man again. Stay woke, brothers and sisters. Stay woke. My name is David Gordon.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm Langston Kerman, and I'm intrigued. I. I will admit I didn't know anything about International Black Love Day until right this second. Is that a holiday motherfuckers are participating.

[David Gordon]

In since 1993, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Gordon]

I had no idea. On February 13th, which is diabolical. It feels like they're trying to double dip.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. So the day before Valentine's Day, theoretically, I am meant to give my black lover a different gift instead, and that's. What does that do? How does that black love and not white love?

[David Gordon]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, cool, cool.

[David Gordon]

I didn't go too deep into it. I didn't go. It's a day. It's marketed as a day of celebration, reconciliation, and atonement that takes place on February 13th.

[Langston Kerman]

That's a lot of apologizing. I'll say that.

[David Gordon]

It's a lot of. Please, baby, baby, please. I'll make it up to you on Valentine's Day.

[Langston Kerman]

I swear to God, I'm gonna do right by you this year. Well, I pray that our Listeners that the little mamas out there are enjoying their International Black Love Day and preparing. I hope you're buying all of your items early because those International Black Love Day sales are gonna come up fast, and you're gonna want those good apology gifts. I think that's fair to say.

[David Gordon]

You're gonna wanna hit that Sheen International Black Love Day sale.

[Langston Kerman]

Mm. That fine sheen. Quality material. Our guest today. Our guest today. I wonder if she's participated in International Black Love Day. She made a point to tell us that she's single and she's out in these streets, and any of our listeners DM her immediately.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Don't worry about it. That's not what I said.

[David Gordon]

Don't worry about what?

[Langston Kerman]

You send DM her right away.

[David Gordon]

She just wants to contact.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You know what? That's on me. That's on me.

[Langston Kerman]

She's a. She's an amazing comedian, a person I've known a long time. It's been a decade, probably since we first finished.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Probably a little more.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But a phenomenal comedian. I'm a big fan of hers. And she's here to talk some shit with us today. Give it up for Ayana Dukey.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Hey. Hello. Hello. Hello. So is it Sheen or Sheen? I thought it was Shein.

[David Gordon]

Oh, I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

We haven't done that research.

[David Gordon]

No, that's deeper than.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, I didn't. I was just wondering if I was saying it incorrectly this whole time if.

[David Gordon]

It'S not spelled as straightforward as fashion Nova. I ain't got it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I don't know if she an is like saying Tarjay. You know, we're trying to make it a little.

[David Gordon]

Oh, I like that.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. It might be this. Exactly. Shein. Shein. Isn't that, though, like, the 13th? I feel like the 13th and the 15th are side chick days.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, interesting that the 15th is your obviously, your second paycheck of the month, and. And now you got a little surplus. Now you got a little bit to play with. You slide that over to baby girl.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Exactly.

[David Gordon]

And you have the space. You have the space because you just did your due diligence on the 14th.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That was my understanding.

[Langston Kerman]

Now maybe this International Black Love Day that we're all just hearing about, apparently for the first time, maybe this is like a rebellion against that. Right. That they're going like, oh, by doing it a day, you're showing that you're prioritizing this person as opposed to the 15th, where it very well could be side chick behavior.

[David Gordon]

Oh, so you think this is to elevate the Side chick or dude.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm saying it's creating space to at least make whoever receives the gift feel certain that you are doing right by them.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Saying creating the space makes it seem a lot more fancy than it actually is.

[David Gordon]

Here's the thing. Weaponizing therapy language is amazing because you can create space for your host. Like, there's a lot of levels to.

[Langston Kerman]

It they should have never gave you niggas. Dr. Phil never gave it to him.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I feel like Ayala was the original one who was, you know, fix my life. That's where we started.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, I've heard a lot of people do bad behind the term manifest. I've heard that.

[Ayanna Dookie]

The new one, though, right now everybody's working on detachment. That's what's out in these streets these days. Everybody's working on their detachment, their detachment issues, to their trauma and their baggage and to material goods. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Has somebody hit you with that as of late? A little detachment talk or is that just. You're just catching strays?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Well, you know the whole thing about manifesting, you know, I have some things that I'm. I'm currently manifesting. And then I heard that I have to detach from the things that I want in order to manifest them. So I have to pretend like I don't want it. So I gotta play, you know, kind of like chicken with the universe. It's like, I want it, but I don't really want it. But I want it, but I don't want it.

[David Gordon]

See, that's where I get hung up on these types of things. If the universe is as old as it is, I'm gonna trick it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You know what I'm saying?

[David Gordon]

Like, I could just think differently. And the universe is gonna be like, where'd he go? It has no object permanence. It's seen me this whole time.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, that is a fair point. I think the manifestation really feels like it's treating the universe like a dum dum. And that feels a little false where it's just not. But also, if I. If I yell at the moon at the right time, the moon's gonna do what I want it to do. And it's like, nah, motherfucker, that's the moon.

[David Gordon]

But also, it could be dumb. You've seen a platypus. Explain that. That's not like.

[Langston Kerman]

That's true. That's true. I have seen a platypus. And not as impressive as you think they are when you catch them in person. Real small.

[Ayanna Dookie]

How big are they chipmunks are. But I think that's because Alvin and Chipmunks. I didn't really realize how small they were in real life.

[David Gordon]

Right. They made you think they were child size.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. And I was like, why is this thing so small? I just thought it was like a premature chipmunk. But then I saw a few of them.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen. That's the buffest chipmunk they got. That one's jacked, man.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Simon was so tall. Wasn't Simon.

[David Gordon]

I mean, that's why they lived with Dave. Cause they were playing basketball. They were playing aau. That's what they don't talk about with that whole situation. It was like a blind side kind of thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think at some point they were plugging them chipmunks with human growth hormone. I think they were definitely. You know what I mean? They were doing everything they could to maximize on the talent.

[David Gordon]

Right. Who was getting paid for all those concerts? They didn't have parents.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That's true. And then Brittany. Brittany was pretty developed for a chipmunk as well. That was Alvin's girl, right?

[David Gordon]

Yeah. She felt like an adult.

[Ayanna Dookie]

She did. She was very developed. She was.

[Langston Kerman]

Good for you for knowing the lady Chipmunks names. And maybe this is the most misogynistic thing I could say. I never bothered. I never was like, oh, they got names.

[David Gordon]

You weren't fucking with the Chipets?

[Langston Kerman]

Nah, I was like, names.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You treated them like wnba. That's horrible.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm a big fan of the wnba. Them bitches, I didn't give a fuck.

[Ayanna Dookie]

They had a whole career. They were on tour, too.

[David Gordon]

But they don't have a Caitlin Clark. To be fair, if we're drawing the comparison, I mean, who was it?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Brittany, Eleanor? What was the other one?

[David Gordon]

You don't even remember.

[Langston Kerman]

You're right.

[Ayanna Dookie]

What are you talking about? Give me a sec. I remember two out of three. I think that's pretty good considering how old I am.

[Langston Kerman]

They're not memorizing these girls with old bitch names. You know what I mean?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Like, yeah, Brittany is a. Eleanor is old.

[Langston Kerman]

Eleanor is oldest. Why would you name that child Chipmunk Eleanor?

[Ayanna Dookie]

I just. I just feel like we need to look up the other chipmunk's name.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm never gonna do it.

[David Gordon]

My guess is Roxanne.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm not gonna play Brittany.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Jeanette and Eleanor.

[David Gordon]

Okay.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Jeanette was the third one. I forgot.

[David Gordon]

So Jeanette, that was the smartest.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Now you know.

[David Gordon]

That was the smart little guy.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I feel like Eleanor was the smart one. Jeanette was a chubby one. The cook.

[David Gordon]

Yeah. There's always a fat one who goes with the fat guy that they don't like as much.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. So they were. You know, they were loving up on each other.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, we can't. We can't talk, girl. Chipmunks all day. We came. You came with a conspiracy I'm very excited about. I. I feel like it's one that we've sort of circled in a general sense in the past, but we've never done any version of a deep dive, and certainly not with any of the specificities you came with. But you said. My mama told me McDonald's fries cause young girls to develop prematurely.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Specifically, the French fries.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[David Gordon]

Oh, specifically.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know it got down to, like, your meal order.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. Tell us everything you know to start us from the beginning.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, so it was an argument between my parents. My parents are divorced, and I live.

[Langston Kerman]

Is this what broke them up? Because that's. That's terrible.

[David Gordon]

Don't take her to McDonald's no more. She's getting back. She's in junior high school now. We can't have it. It. I'm not ready. You're killing our family.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Now she's getting sick. Oh, God. Well, it viol. This is so stupid. I've never had to talk about this. Okay, so.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Technically, I. I hope I'm not ruining the theme, but it was my dad who argued with my mom, saying that it was the French fries that was making me and my sister busty.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, no.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

Must be a tough time in a father's life. What the fuck am I gonna do?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Those goddamn French fries.

[David Gordon]

I do. He probably seen it coming, and he's like, no, no, no.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's not right. But I do get it. Do you know what I mean?

[David Gordon]

Where it's just like.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not right. And you have to.

[David Gordon]

It is not right.

[Langston Kerman]

You have to acknowledge that. But there is a part of you that goes like, well, if I'm a father, I want to do everything I can to delay, delay, prevent, prevent. You know what I mean? Like, whatever I can. And if I think McDonald's french fries are somehow making these tits just a little heavier. We're cutting out French fries, baby. It's no more French fries in this house until I can get a hold of these things.

[Ayanna Dookie]

This is ridiculous. My dad said with a straight face, he was like, the reason why your chest has gotten so big is because your mother is feeding you French fries from McDonald's.

[David Gordon]

Did he say this at his house, at his apartment.

[Ayanna Dookie]

And I was already self conscious because When I was 10, I was bigger than everybody else. I was like a B Cup at 10 years old. But in my defense, all the women on his side of the family, that's just how they're built, right? So it's genetic.

[David Gordon]

No, the titties came from him. And that's probably that thing where in deep down, he probably knows and he feels a way about it, right?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Responsible.

[David Gordon]

He's like, I know it isn't. It isn't the. It isn't the french fries, it's your aunties.

[Langston Kerman]

That's gotta be hard where you go like, damn, I gave my daughter big titties. That is completely me in my blood, nothing else.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, damn. Which is not a curse. It's not.

[Langston Kerman]

I have.

[David Gordon]

No, it's not a curse.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not a curse, but it's not a gift I think a father intends to give.

[David Gordon]

Right.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You ever see men with big hips? I always feel so bad with them. Like, hippie men. Like, it's just like, ooh, you so pear shaped.

[David Gordon]

I just think that moms feel that same way. Where she's like, are there moms like, stop feeding my boy. Stop feeding my boy. And it's Taco Bell. It's too damn.

[Ayanna Dookie]

He's too damn curvaceous.

[David Gordon]

I can see that thing from the front.

[Langston Kerman]

Look at his silhouette. He could do the silhouette challenge right now. It's making me sick.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I think I should have done shrooms before this podcast.

[Langston Kerman]

That's why I smoke weed.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, I really never thought about that before. Like a woman seeing her son have a womanly body and feeling. That must happen as well, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, yeah, I think. I think maybe it should be. I should clarify that while this is a gendered conversation, it's not a specifically gendered issue. I imagine that, like, you are constantly recognizing both the gifts and the quote unquote curses that you're handing down to your children. And some of it comes in, like, mental health. Some of it comes in fucking dietary restrictions and shit. And then some of it's just, damn, I made a thick ass son. And I don't know what to do with that feeling.

[David Gordon]

I think my mom saw it. I think she was like, that's my mom's body. Fuck, yeah. Get him in football. Get him in football. Get him in football.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Are you saying you have pronounced it?

[David Gordon]

I'm saying my grandma was big, my auntie was big, and I'm big in the same way. But the other people in our Family aren't big like that.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, that makes sense.

[David Gordon]

Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. I don't think it's as, like, I don't know why men have big hips. Like, when they end up. I dated my very first serious boyfriend, had big hips.

[David Gordon]

Thank you for qualifying it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Which one?

[David Gordon]

You were like, I'm an ally.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You're like, I've done my part.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I served my nickel.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Come on. I support. I support.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

But, yeah, when he would gain weight, like, his boobs would start getting pronounced too. And I was like, why am I here?

[David Gordon]

Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, that's. That's 100% my issue. I gain weight in my chest much. Much like my mother does, and ain't nothing I can do.

[David Gordon]

Are you. And I. I don't want this to sound crazy. I'm just asking for clarification.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

Are you saying that your mom has big titties?

[Langston Kerman]

My mom?

[David Gordon]

Yeah. I'm not.

[Langston Kerman]

Has. And respectfully, enormous titties.

[David Gordon]

Okay.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Like.

[Langston Kerman]

Like we're deep in the Alphabet. At my mom's house, sometimes you say.

[David Gordon]

Some shit, and it, like, continues to build your origin story in my head, man. I don't know why that matters.

[Langston Kerman]

Look, man, it's a lot going on over here.

[David Gordon]

I know it, I know it, I know it. And I appreciate the adversity, the concrete that you eventually bloomed from.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, no, it was, you know, the Big Diddy concrete.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay. As a man. Cause I feel like I'm lost right now.

[David Gordon]

And my mama got big titties, too. I'm not trying to be crazy.

[Ayanna Dookie]

How does it make you feel? Like, does it. Was it. Did it make you feel you're gonna.

[David Gordon]

Have to fight some battles in junior high school?

[Langston Kerman]

Honestly, my mom's big titties never played, like, a major role in my interaction with other kids. Nobody ever talked, like, super crazy to me about my mom's titties. But I think what it does is it creates this weird dynamic because my mom's been married four times. I watched her date multiple times. And it creates this weird dynamic of watching your mom do what is natural to be a sexual person, to engage in an honest way. But you're fucking seeing it. You know what I mean? Like, there's no privacy to her sexuality in a way that I wish I had.

[David Gordon]

Right. And then. Cause the bad guys. When your mom dates a bad guy, then you know that that's at least some level of what he's there for. And that is a difficult thing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You're like, damn.

[David Gordon]

Where it's like. It's like, man, this nigga, he's a fucking. He plays the keyboard. He's only here for the titties. This sucks.

[Ayanna Dookie]

It is so interesting as a woman because I was raised by a single mom and to watch the men that came through and she would just date some clowns. I remember this dude showed up to take her to her work Christmas party, which was like a big deal. And she was still getting dressed. I opened the door and he had on a tie, and it was like this real gaudy Christmas tie. And I said, oh, that's an interesting tie. And we all know interesting is not a compliment. And he goes, oh, watch this. And he hit a button and it started singing and lighting up. And I was like. And my mom is so bougie. I was like, oh, I can't wait till this bitch sees this time. She came out and I was like, show at a time.

[Langston Kerman]

She like, that better be light up Louis Vuitton, otherwise this is fucked.

[Ayanna Dookie]

She was like, I'm taking you to a law firm's Christmas party, and this is the bullshit that you wear. I just sat there and watched this man get cussed out about his tie. It was a good. It was a really good night.

[Langston Kerman]

That does sound nice. Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Like, yeah, this is a fun time.

[Langston Kerman]

So your dad comes to you and he. He tells you. I like that he placed the blame on your mom too. That was really. That's really nice. Right at the end of him to be like, it's your mama's fault, but you gotta stop eating French fries. Do you at any point believe him? Are you entertaining this or are you like, shut the fuck up? I. I'm. I'm gonna eat what I want. It don't matter.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, so my dad has, like, a history of. I think he looked at me and two things happened. I think he saw a lot of my mom in him, in me, which obviously he chose her for a reason. And then he just being. Because it's just me and my sister. Well, now he has another son on the side. Not on the side. I mean, it's whatever side to you.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I get it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I fuck with that little. And I. I felt that energy.

[David Gordon]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Fast.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I was trying to be polite about it.

[David Gordon]

No, no, it was clear.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Wrong with him. It was clear. He's 20. He's 20 years younger than me. I don't got shit to talk about.

[Langston Kerman]

But, yeah, I get it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Like, growing up, like, when I was 16, my dad came, picked me up, and we're driving down to Jersey Turnpike. He's picking Me up, bringing me back to Maryland. And he says, he goes, you know, you're a Scorpio just like your mom. And Scorpios are very sexual beings. And at this point I'm just like, where is this conversation going?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't. This conversation.

[David Gordon]

He had a sex talk with you?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Prior, there's been no sex talk. Like, none of my parents ever gave me a sex talk. When I got my period, my mom was like, do you know how to use a. A maxi pad? I was like, it's a sticker. I've been using stickers since pre K. I'm good on the sticker. You stick it to your draws. I get it. That was my sex talk.

[David Gordon]

Wow.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That was the entire sex talk. So I'm. I'm not accustomed to talking to my parents about sex or sexuality or your body. Even when I as I was developing because my mom's pretty flat chested. So in her mind she was like, I got a bra when I was 16. So when Ayanna turns 16, she'll get a bra. As opposed to assessing the situation that's happening.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you got these big old. She had Donald's French fries titties.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Exactly. I got the french fried titties. Yeah, exactly. So I was getting teased at school coupled with, you know, having the last name dookie. So it was a hard time.

[David Gordon]

Oh, man.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, it was rough. So I. My last name. People are like, how come you don't have a bra? And I'm like, I don't know. So I can't jump rope for like a whole year because everybody's making fun of me. It was bad. It was rough times. But in my mom's mind, yeah, in her mind, this is a certain age that you get a bra and you haven't reached that age yet.

[David Gordon]

Even though you get the support.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Exactly. She was not trying to support. So my dad, he is just as bad with sex talk. I don't know what possessed him while we were on the Jersey Turnpike, I guess since he had me trapped. But he started giving me this speech about Scorpios are very sexual beings. Your mom's a scorpio. And you know, you have to be very careful that you don't let sex ruin your life because by nature I know you're gonna be very sexual. And I'm like, this is weird. Then he starts naming other Scorpios that he knows.

[David Gordon]

You know, my man Rick.

[Langston Kerman]

He said, let's see, Dr.

[Ayanna Dookie]

It's just Pat's just giving me his reference on scorpios And I just wanted to tuck and roll onto Georgie Turpin. I was like, can I make it across the.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna be honest. As far as sex conversations with a dad, that's pretty low on the list of quality ones that I've heard up to this point.

[David Gordon]

Point, really?

[Langston Kerman]

That's tough.

[David Gordon]

Did your dad give you one?

[Langston Kerman]

My dad?

[David Gordon]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, one time. Because I. I was. I, like, advocated for my family to go to church. This was with my mom. My dad would never go to church, but my mom, I was like, yo, I want to go to church. I want us to, like. Because all my friends went to church. I was like, no, it's community there. It's important. I want to learn about youth grew.

[Ayanna Dookie]

How old were you?

[Langston Kerman]

I think I was, like 12 or 13. That I started making our family go to church and then was super into. It was like, going twice a week and shit. Bible study twice. Yeah.

[David Gordon]

I was like, right before puberty. Before puberty, Right.

[Langston Kerman]

It was like, as puberty was building kind of thing. It was right before, but puberty was locking in. And then I remember, like, being at church enough that I had kind of built this identity of, like, I am a church kid. This is who I want to be. And going to my dad. We were also riding on the expressway, the 290 expressway. I don't remember where we were going in Chicago. I remember looking at my dad and saying, I'm gonna save myself until marriage. And then my dad, who is a pretty stoic guy, doesn't often offer a lot as far as, like, like, you know, heavy conversation. He thought. He took a breath and he said, oh, why? And I swear to God that next week I was like, what am I doing? What is it? If the man ain't gonna respect me, I don't even know that I should keep doing this. This is silly. Maybe I should be getting busy. And then I start trying to get.

[David Gordon]

Also them hormones hit. I don't know if you could have kept that plate spinning.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. But I think maybe why literally launched me into puberty.

[David Gordon]

It was that night.

[Langston Kerman]

It was the McDonald's french fries I needed.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You woke up that next morning. Like, what happened in my drawers.

[Langston Kerman]

Is anybody else's balls heavier? Mine feel heavier here. Okay.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I. I can't imagine how awkward it is for a parent. I mean, you. You have a kid. Like, that conversation is just. I mean, I don't know if it's. I don't know if the mom should have the conversation with the daughter or if it's ever Appropriate for a dad to have. I mean, obviously, if it's just a single dad, there's no choice. I mean, but I just.

[David Gordon]

I don't. I had a single mom and we danced around it like once and I cried. Cause I was like six and you don't wanna talk about sex with your mom. I remember also in the car, I don't remember where we were going. It was like. I was like. I think I was home sick from school or something, and she was driving me somewhere and Sexual Healing came on the radio and she turned down the radio and she was like, david, do you know what sex is? And I just started crying. And then that kid came.

[Langston Kerman]

Let Marvin tell.

[David Gordon]

That. Kicked the bucket. I had to talk about that shit. We still don't talk about it.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, but I was too young. That's why she. I was like, you fucking weirdo.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Did you know what sex was then?

[David Gordon]

I knew. No, I think I still thought it was like getting naked and kissing. You know how little kids, they understand that there's a ritual to it. But I didn't quite understand. I. I don't think I knew about the penetration until I saw, you know, like a Penthouse magazine. Probably within the next two, three years of that.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, two, three years of six.

[David Gordon]

I was an apartment kid. You guys never knew, like older kids who had like a porno or anything like that? Older. Yeah, I was gonna say.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I guess maybe as a girl, I just did not necessarily have the same access.

[David Gordon]

Oh, yeah, there was also.

[Langston Kerman]

I saw some shit early.

[David Gordon]

And you go back and you're like, how terrible of people those kids were.

[Langston Kerman]

That's the problem is that was an.

[David Gordon]

At risk youth that you were showing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

Like.

[Langston Kerman]

It'S crazy. The type of little boys that will show you something just because it's the only way that they can, I guess, stuff the feelings down. It's not.

[David Gordon]

I remember hanging out with this girl in our stairwell, probably like fifth grade. And we were hanging out with this bad kid. His name was bj. And she was like, her mom wasn't home. And she was like. She went in the house and he was like, she about to. I remember it so specifically. He was like, she about to give you some draws. Go in there. And I was, whoa. I got so scared. And he was like, don't be a. And I didn't go in there. But like, now, in hindsight, you're like, that kid, he needed a parent.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

PJ is always a bad name. He always know a bad. Everybody know a bad.

[David Gordon]

PJ is a bad name. Yeah, as a kid, you do think you're just like. You're just like, oh, it's weird. He's weird over there.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know. Yeah, he's a weird guy. I don't. We need to take a break, but when we come back, we're gonna actually talk about this conspiracy because I feel like we haven't even dived that far into it. But that's okay because that's the nature of this goofy fucking podcast. And we're so happy you're here. So we're going to take a break. We'll come back with more. Ayanna, more My Mama Told Me.

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[Podcast Host]

Restrictions apply for more than 30 years. In Kansas City, Kansas, a man allegedly raped and terrorized black women. A detective named Roger Galupski.

[David Gordon]

He told me to keep my mouth closed. If I did say anything, I would come up missing like so many others.

[Podcast Host]

But then, right before trial, he was found dead, leaving countless questions behind. Listen to corruption Uncovered from Roc Nation and its philanthropic injustice division, Team Rock. Wherever you get your podcasts, My Mama.

[Langston Kerman]

Told Me presents the Start the Steal tour. We're very excited about it.

[David Gordon]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out and the dates are coming up fast. And so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on our Instagrams, on our websites, on our link tree. December 12th, we're in Seattle. And December 15th, you're closing it out in Portland, Oregon. We want y'all to come out. We want y'all to kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests with just me and David depending on the city. It'll be a great time.

[David Gordon]

All that meet and greets. You think Chris Brown has a good.

[Langston Kerman]

Meet and greet, bro? Let's be clear. I'll take a weird picture with you for free.

[David Gordon]

Give your meat a good old rub. We are back with Ayana Dukey discussing all manners of young sex and development and whether or not french fries give you some big ass tips. Titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Now this is the question I had as it relates to those french fries. When you say it's causing early development, are we strictly focusing on titties or is it like, development in all forms? It's strictly titties.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Just titties. There was no emotional. There was no hips. Maybe I had hips, but I don't think the hips were the problem.

[David Gordon]

No, the hips were on your boyfriend and you hated him for it. You resented. You resented that. That box.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Young man, why are you curving better than me? But no, just the titties. Just. Just titties. The french fries. Not just McDonald's. McDonald's french fries were contributing to early development of me and my sister's titties.

[David Gordon]

So I think that's really interesting because when I saw that you had said this, I was thinking back, and it's really. It's nice to have this discussion with good people because I've heard this come up and it's always the most unsavory type of dudes. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

That's why this is never a conversation I've ever wanted to get in, because it usually comes from a bad place. But it is always titties. And it's like, I've heard it from milk, from hormones and food, like all kinds of shit. But it's always.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I've heard about chicken.

[David Gordon]

Yeah. But it is always. It's always titties. And it's always this idea. It's always this sentiment of, like, you see how big these girls titties are these days? And it's like, I feel like I wasn't around in the 70s. Look, I don't know, but it feels like there were always people with big titties. Like, I don't. I don't. But maybe titties have gotten bigger. I don't.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, I wish there was a study. Is there a study that, like, women's titties over the.

[David Gordon]

I've been knowing my own personal research, and the results are inconclusive.

[Ayanna Dookie]

What I think, though, I don't know if you guys have ever had this experience where you, like, look at, like, college kids now and you're like, I don't feel like I look that young when I was in college.

[David Gordon]

Yes, I do. I do feel that way. I feel that way with high schoolers as well.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, it's like you look at them and you're like, there's no way it popped possible. This is what I was looking like at 16, 17 years old. But sometimes I look at these kids now and they seem so much older because the girls are always wearing the eyelashes and the makeup. Like, I just don't remember having all the nails and eyelashes and all the makeup and the hair and those. I feel like when I was that age, I was more. I don't want to say natural. I just. I felt like I was 16 years old with titty.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's interesting. I. Yeah, I feel like with young men, certainly, like, there's been so much, so many advancements in, like, how to make a big buff person. Do you know what I mean? That, like, athletics and fucking working out and being in shape has just advanced over time, which is why LeBron looks like LeBron and Bob Cousy looked like fucking Bob Cousy. But, like, there is a part of me that sees, like, these young dudes with big fucking NBA shoulders already, and you're like, God damn. Is that a change in, like, our, you know, our eating that's turning it that way, or is that just the advancements of technology and, you know, exercise and shit?

[David Gordon]

I mean, I will say there were always boys who looked like men, but in a different way than it is now. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like when I was younger, the boys who looked like men were like. It wasn't because they were crazy buff. It was just because this kid got a full beard and hairy ass legs in the seventh grade. He looks like a construction worker. You know what I mean? Like, that's how the men look, the older boys. And now it's like, you see these kids and they look like fitness influencers and they're 15 years old.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, it's just a different. You're right. It's a different vibe than it used to be, for sure.

[Ayanna Dookie]

But we have gotten, as a human species, we have gotten bigger over the years. Cause I think about whenever I go to, like, like, you know, you're traveling and you go someplace that has ruins or something, some old, old, old something, and everything's just smaller. The doorways are smaller, everything is shorter. Not just like wide wise as far as, like our weight, but everything. It seems like in the medieval times, we just were not as tall. So maybe there's that.

[David Gordon]

But I mean, I went to the Coliseum and all I could think was, I bet they had tiny titties. Way to bring us back, these Italians weren't on shit.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, ain't no cave drawings of women that look like Kim Whitley. You know what I mean? It's all.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That was so specific, Lance.

[David Gordon]

No. If you're of our age, though, if you're a black man of our age, that she struck us accord.

[Langston Kerman]

She. Those titties meant a lot to me.

[David Gordon]

It was a big deal for a long time. Big deal.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Really? Okay, that is new to me. I didn't realize that she was like the, you know, the arbiter of titties.

[David Gordon]

Oh, no. She birthed the generation.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, Yeah, I would say. We've talked about her a few times on this podcast. We don't believe that she's ever fully gotten her flowers that, like, generation after generation have treated her because of how funny she is and how phenomenally talented she is. She has tricked a lot of people into pretending like she's ugly. And that is one of the baddest bitches on the planet.

[David Gordon]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, objectively fine.

[David Gordon]

I think they tried to play her in Next Friday, which was really the ultimate, right? Yeah, like, that was the one. Cause that probably came out when I was like 14 or 13 or something like that. And even in the video they tried to make it, or in the movie, they tried to make it seem like. Like it was this crazy thing. I was like, craig, you need to get over there.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. What are you doing?

[Ayanna Dookie]

That's interesting as. As a woman in comedy. It's the. I will say that there is this line that I don't think it's like this that much anymore, but when I first started, where it's like, if you're going to be telling jokes, you got to throw out every level of. I don't want to say femininity, but that has to be muted. That really has to be. Put a lid on it. Just cover it. And now I don't feel like, as a woman so much. I feel like a lot of us are leaning into, like, yeah, I'm hot too, and I have no problem.

[David Gordon]

Do you think that's because everyone's titties are bigger now?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Personally, when I first started comedy, I was told to cover them up.

[David Gordon]

Really?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. Indirectly from guys or Jack, you know, no one's gonna listen to you. You're on stage looking cute. I know. I still don't bring my titties out on stage. I'm still pretty conservative about them.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I just say I hate what men made comedy. It really makes me angry that we would tell a bunch of women to cover up titties because we're so insecure about what comedy can be.

[David Gordon]

It's cause it's a bunch of dudes who don't like women, bro. It's cause they don't, like, wi. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, they don't like women, and I love titties. And if they can be combined, why. Why would I stop that?

[David Gordon]

It's called steak and shake. Like, you could have two great things.

[Ayanna Dookie]

What? What?

[David Gordon]

But you know what?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm crazy.

[David Gordon]

It is. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's. Yeah, it's awful. It's really.

[Ayanna Dookie]

It's really. You know what? Tonight, after this conversation, my shows tonight, I'm bringing out the titties.

[Langston Kerman]

Please let them know I'm gonna do that.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You guys have empowered me.

[David Gordon]

That's all we wanted.

[Langston Kerman]

That's all we want.

[David Gordon]

That's why we started this.

[Langston Kerman]

Listen When Bori and I first sat down, we said, how can we get these ladies to pull their titties out? How can we make them, but not in a voyeuristic kind of way. How can we empower them to pull their titties out? Yeah. That's all we care about.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I feel empowered.

[David Gordon]

I feel it's one of the major cares. Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah. I feel like I have developed that inner knowing and confidence that I'm gonna make space on stage for my titties.

[David Gordon]

Thank God.

[Langston Kerman]

We did it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Thanks, guys.

[Langston Kerman]

We did.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I appreciate you guys so much. This has been great.

[Langston Kerman]

Let me tell you a few things that I found, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on these things. Number one, one of the things I found is that it is true that fast food specifically does affect our hormones, right? That it has a direct effect on our hormones. Basically, our body produces 200 hormones that all play this role in how we develop and function. And that by adding in a bunch of junk food a lot of these fats and. And grease and fucking sugars and shit, you basically are putting stress. These unhealthy fats put a stress on your adrenal glands and alter the bacteria in your gut and basically influences the way that your body is able to regulate the hormones that exist. Right? So theoretically, there is a logic to. By eating fast food, you are changing the way that your body develops a lot, getting bigger and subsequently getting bigger breasts because of it.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, so there is truth to what he said.

[David Gordon]

Now, how direct is the correlate? How direct is that line, though, is my question.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, that's the thing. Nothing in anything I've read has been like, now the French fries.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Specifically McDonald's french fries.

[Langston Kerman]

That's where you gonna get them titties.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Burger King wasn't the problem. It wasn't Burger King or Friendly or Wendy's. It was McDonald's.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not McDonald's french fries specifically. It certainly isn't like, French fries hit the titties. Chicken nuggets. That's where you get that thigh meat. And thigh meat.

[David Gordon]

That was my question. More is like, is it a direct correlation to breast size as much as it is overall development. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

And one of the things that I also read is that to the point you were asking about the changes in development, historically, we have shifted way earlier for most women going through puberty that basically in like, the early 19th century, 20th century, rather early 1900s, they were averaging in puberty around 16 or 17. Whereas now women, I think, on average are closer to 12 or 13, if. If I'm remembering correctly.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Which is crazy because I got my. I got my period when I was 12, 12, and I was like the latest in my class. Like, people were looking at me like I was crazy. Yeah. Because I got it in middle school.

[David Gordon]

This is a difficult question to ask.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, take your time.

[David Gordon]

I truly want to. It just sounds crazy. Even in when I'm running it around in my head. How. What's the time between getting titties and your period?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, interesting.

[Ayanna Dookie]

So that was what was weird for me because in 10. No, in fifth grade. Cause I'm 10 years old in fifth grade. That's when we had sex ed. I don't know when your schools gave y'all sex ed, but when I was in Maryland, they gave us sex ed.

[David Gordon]

I had a couple. I went to a lot of schools.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Okay, so we got it in fifth grade.

[Langston Kerman]

I think that's earlier than we got it. We were closer to six. Seventh grade, I think was seventh, one in eighth.

[Ayanna Dookie]

So what was interesting is like they give you the diagram where they're just like, you know, they separated the guys and the girls. So they give you like the diagram of the different. You know, like around this age is when you're gonna see little buds in your breast and, you know, you might start seeing some pubic hair, you know, in your cooch and underneath your arms. I always say cooch.

[Langston Kerman]

You're gonna want to watch your cooches. Young la.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That's old school. Me listen to Uchi coochie la la la. Just shorten it. Cooch. So like, for me though, I would look at these diagrams and I'm just like, well, my breasts are over here on like stage 14, but I got no pubic hair during any period. So it was just all over the place. But also what I found out later on is my mom menstruated less late, and she also menopause late, which is good for me because I haven't had any kids potentially. If I decide I want to be, you know, like Janet Jackson knocking 1 out of 50, hell yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

But you're still in the game. I got you.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I mean, me out here. But I think it depends because I knew plenty of flat chested girls that got their periods way before I did and they went on to be flat chested women.

[David Gordon]

Does. Yeah. And I. Oh, sorry. I just.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you got it.

[David Gordon]

Your voice. Was that like a source of frustration where you're like, this bitch doesn't even have titties. I don't know, like, she got her period already I'm over here with these happy titties. This bitch bleeding. Like, I don't know. Was it. Well, yeah. Was that a source of, like, frustration?

[Ayanna Dookie]

It was uncomfortable because it felt like everybody and, you know, like, well, y'all wouldn't know because y'all aren't men. But, like.

[David Gordon]

Like, I have no idea.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Girls, you know, girls in the class, they're like, I got my period. You know, it's something that's, like, chatted amongst us, and I still didn't have mine. And then, you know, boys just being nosy, they start, you know, just repeating nonsense in their ear as well. Like, you know, Yana did get her period, and I just started. At that age, you don't want to be different, right? We can all acknowledge that. You know, you're in the fifth grade, fourth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, high school, everybody. We are not being our unique selves. We don't start being our unique selves until we become comics. But for the most part, you know, when you're that age, you're just trying to fit in with everybody else. So it was hard for me because I had girls say, well, how come your breasts are so big but you don't have your period? And I don't have an answer for that.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You know, it's like, I come from a long line of titties. Like, what do you say?

[Langston Kerman]

First of all, rude. But second of all, I'd say that this research does seem to support that there is no direct correlation between some of your physical development and your puberty development. Right. That some of this is your body taking on a new shape because of the hormonal changes. And those hormones aren't all firing at once, and it's not fucking releasing the kraken in your body. It's just sort of like, all right, this part's gonna grow, and then this part's gonna grow, and then suddenly, you know, you're putting pads in your underwear and whatnot.

[Ayanna Dookie]

It's, you know, it's interesting. Even now, at some point, I have no. I know. People tell me, like, why are you always saying your age? And I'm like, cause I like how I look. But at 43, like, I don't. I don't have that many gray hairs. Whereas, like, my sister in her 30s, she just started. They started popping up. So it's just interesting in general, like. Like how our body ages, whether it be puberty or for women, we have our post puberty. I guess that's menopause, you know, Because I have friends that are my age that are in perimenopause, and I. And I'm not. You know, my period is like clockwork. I can set a timer to my period. So it's just interesting how that happens. And as far as, like, how our bodies develop, I don't know if guys even have. I don't know if y'all go through, like, a second puberty or, like, there's any shift that happens afterwards.

[David Gordon]

You get some hair, the shit gets bigger and it's a wrap.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Did y'all both have wet dreams?

[David Gordon]

I never had wet dreams.

[Langston Kerman]

You never had a single wet dream ever?

[David Gordon]

No. I was accessing my. I understood how to get to my semen pretty early. You know what I'm saying? I wasn't backed up.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Ayanna Dookie]

How early? How early?

[David Gordon]

All right. I mean. Okay. I mean, I guess we're being open on this. I was masturbating before I could ejaculate.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Gordon]

Okay. I don't know.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Are you able to get hard if you're. If you haven't had that first?

[David Gordon]

Yeah, I don't know much.

[Langston Kerman]

You can get hard pretty.

[David Gordon]

That's not the problem.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, pretty much when you come out, you can get hard. That's.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. But, like. So it would, like. I don't know how to explain it. It was an orgasm, I guess, but nothing would come out. But, like, the muscles would kind of do the orgasm thing. But. So I think because of that, it was just like, as soon as I could, I could. So, yeah, I didn't ever. Wet dream.

[Langston Kerman]

Wow. I did. Yeah. I made a mess a few times.

[David Gordon]

It seems like it would be a weird time, though. You know what I'm saying?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, it seems I weirdly, was excited because I similarly, was sort of like, I think later in the game for some of my friends. And so it felt like, oh, okay, all right. Definitively, I got something going on here. Whereas, like, before that, it felt like I wasn't in the game, if that makes sense.

[David Gordon]

Right. You're like, okay, it's happening. Relax.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. It's like you're becoming. You're becoming just like everybody else. Everything's normal here kind of vibes.

[Ayanna Dookie]

That's a hard thing for somebody that's a late developer to, like, see all your friends going through this because you're like, am I broken?

[David Gordon]

It's also not great if you're an early developer, though, that too, where you're just like.

[Langston Kerman]

That seems worse.

[David Gordon]

Beating off nobody else.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Just me out here.

[David Gordon]

It's like psychological. There's a lot of, like, shame around it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You feel like you invented a cursed time machine.

[David Gordon]

Well, it's just like you're doing this because you're not even seeing a result. So you're just like, this is crazy.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

But now as you get older, you realize that it was like, you know, stressed out kid. It's like anxiety stuff. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely.

[David Gordon]

And like, control and all that stuff.

[Chumba Casino Voice]

Hey, comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh with the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okatsuka, Brian Regan, Chelsea Handler, Corey Holcomb, Dane Cook, Sara Milliken, Matt Matthews, Nick Swartzen, Sebastian Maniscalco, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Coca Cola Voice]

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024, the Coca Cola Company.

[Langston Kerman]

The.

[DSW Voice]

Holidays are here, and so is the IKEA Winter Sale. Now's your chance to make the holidays a little more magical and less expensive. Save up to 50% off on select items in store and online now through January 7th. Plus, IKEA loyalty members get an extra 10% off on sale items. Need help managing the clutter of decorations? Ikea Storage Solutions will keep your home tidy from toys and tinsel. Having extra guests over. Check out offers on select dining furniture to make more room for the people who matter most this time of year. Don't wait to finish your winter wish list. Shop the IKEA Winter Sale in store or online now until January 7th. Visit ikea-usa.com wintersale for more details. Term supplied offer valid Dates may vary us only while supplies last. Selection may vary by store and online. See [e-mail] wintersale for complete terms.

[Podcast Host]

Restrictions apply for more than 30 years. In Kansas City, Kansas, a man allegedly raped and terrorized black women. A detective named Roger Golubski.

[David Gordon]

He told me to keep my mouth closed. If I did say anything, I would come up missing like so many others.

[Podcast Host]

But then, right before trial, he was found dead, leaving countless questions behind. Listen to corruption uncovered from Roc Nation and its Philanthropic Injustice Division. Team Rock. Wherever you get your podcasts, my name.

[DSW Voice]

Is Rhiann and I'm a healer, clairvoyant and empath. Everyone I read for tells me that I've confirmed something they've already known but we're afraid to see. Sometimes I have to tell people things they don't want to hear. But if I don't tell them, I am not helping them.

[Langston Kerman]

At California Psychics, we thoroughly test our psychics to make sure they're professional, have.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Real gifts, and communicate clearly. Plus, we have over 4400 psychics to choose from.

[DSW Voice]

California Psychics look for psychics with experience who are confident in their abilities. They're very selective and have very high standards.

[Ayanna Dookie]

And California Psychics promises that your psychic reading will be the best you've ever had. Satisfaction guaranteed. Just call 800, predict 800 p r e d I C T. I really.

[DSW Voice]

Look inside people deeply to find their deepest truth. It's so rewarding helping people. It's a very uplifting feeling this visit.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Californiapsychics.Com or download our app. Plus, new customers get 80% off. Call 800, predict 800 P R E D I C T. California Psychics, the psychic service more people trust.

[Langston Kerman]

My Mama Told Me presents the Start the Steal tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it out. And the dates are coming up fast. And so if you live in one of these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on our Instagram, on our websites, on our link tree. December 12th, we're in Seattle. And December 15th, you're closing it out in Portland, Oregon. We want y'all to come out. We want y'all to kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests with just me and David depending on the city. It'll be a great time.

[David Gordon]

All that meet and greets. You think Chris Brown has a good.

[Langston Kerman]

Meet and greetings, bro. Let's be clear. I'll take a weird picture with you for free. One of the other things I found that I think so what they say is that basically like these fats and grease and the in the sugar all has a chance to affect your hormones. Obviously, we see it in the way that we gain weight. But because people are younger, in theory, the way that you gain weight can change. The way you metabolize it will change and subsequently can cause bigger breasts or bigger butt or whatever it is. But it isn't necessarily the root cause being the French fries. It's just all the shit that you're putting in your body can change. That. Right. One of the other things that I found is that there are these things called phthalates. Phthalates, It's P H T H A L A T A E S, so good luck with that shit. But they are something that also sort of exists in our fast food, right? And they make plastic more flexible. It's basically like this chemical that helps to make plastic more malleable. And that is something we are consuming and that has other health effects that sort of like change the way that our body. Body creates hormones, reacts with its hormones. We are eating plastic as a result of the way that these things are cooked and wrapped. And that is also changing our bodies.

[David Gordon]

God damn it.

[Langston Kerman]

Now it sucks, man.

[David Gordon]

I do have a question. And this is, this is, this is goofy. But this is also like, so does that mean that someone who wasn't going to have a body that style, like, could you eat fresh fries into some titties? Like, do you ever remember that? I remember, like specifically, I feel like girls I knew who developed young, the girls who didn't always had like some excuse. Like I remember there was this girl I went to junior high school with who had like, she didn't have titties and she came back with big titties and all these. It was around the time that Bowflex came out and all these girls were like, she just went to her dad's house and hit a Bowflex all summer and that's why she got titties.

[Langston Kerman]

That's not even what a Bowflex does.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, we talking about that.

[David Gordon]

It's children. It's children. But like, does that mean that are, are there people eating their. Are there people French frying their ways way into a body that they weren't gonna have?

[Langston Kerman]

So one of the things that I found it says that basically I'm gonna.

[David Gordon]

Have to take a walk after this.

[Langston Kerman]

No, great question. And you sit in it. But one of the things that.

[David Gordon]

One.

[Langston Kerman]

Of the things that I found is that we do fully acknowledge that women are seeing or having their puberty is happening earlier and earlier for every generation. Women is who we're talking about in this conversation, but I assume it's also happening for boys. But they basically say that all of these factors, like a study found that the, the precocious puberty in girls increased six fold six times from 1998 to 2017. A fucking insane increase. But one of the things or the factors that they point to that's faster.

[David Gordon]

Than climate change, dog.

[Langston Kerman]

It's nuts. It's nuts. What's Happening. But the thing that they point to is there are four main reasons and, and the first being obesity a la eating a bunch of fast food, french fries, shitty things diet, eating a lot of processed high fat foods. Race and ethnicity. Black and Hispanic girls and children typically begin puberty earlier. I would assume that that in part is because of a poverty gap that they're probably not acknowledging exactly. That like more often than not we are being forced to eat foods that are processed.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Living in food deserts.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[David Gordon]

Everything.

[Langston Kerman]

And then finally, and this goes back to what we were just talking about with that weird word chemical exposures. So the more chemicals we are exposed to and the more fat and or processed foods we are exposed to, the more likely you are going to have these hormonal changes faster and more often.

[Ayanna Dookie]

But that goes, even that last part, the chemicals that goes back to your socioeconomic issues because chances are they're going to build factories near you, they're going to build all kinds of nonsense in communities that don't have the resources to say no, don't put that in our neighborhood. And it's so sad. I have lupus. And lupus impacts black and brown women at higher rates than our white counterparts. And lupus, what they're starting to see is a lot of these autoimmune conditions, why they impact women more than men. Because women, we have, we, we have three main hormones. We have progesterone, ester, estrogen and testosterone. Whereas y'all just have testosterone. And I can even tell that like when I'm on my period, my lupus symptoms will flare up and they will cycle with that. So I see why it impacts women more because we just have, it seems like we just have a heavier cocktail of hormones to deal with than you guys do.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Ayanna Dookie]

So we're more vulnerable.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I think, and I think women historically have shown to, to put on weight faster because your, your natural like body fat. That percentage is a different configuration than men. I think all of it results, certainly based off of what I'm reading, it results in visual indicators of a change faster and clearer for women than it does for men. Whether that change is as a result of McDonald's french fries or some other hormone firing in your body is up for debate. But I think ultimately what we're talking about is we see it in women and subsequently we treat women differently as a result of some shit that's happening in their body that more often than not they have no control over.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah, the other thing too, I think about that whole socioeconomic thing as far as race goes even, like, what in our community is considered attractive? Like, the more shapely we are or thick women are. It's. When I worked at Weight Watchers, it was interesting because, you know, the white women came and come in here and they try to damn near disappear. You know, they're like, how low can I get these points where the black women, their first concern is, I don't want to lose my curves. I don't want to lose my curves. I don't. And I had to explain to them, like, your curves are your bone structure. Like, no matter how much weight I lose, my mom's a very hippie person. I'm built like her. I'm going to always have. I could get down to some ridiculous weight. But just your bone structure is, you know, you can't get rid of bone and you can't build bones. If you don't have hips to begin with, you're not gonna have hips. But just in our culture, it's just deemed more attractive to be thicker. And I wonder how much that affects our health.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, I mean, I wonder how long that's been. The beauty standard is what I would question behind that, like, how far back does that go? It seems that it is for sure increased. Right. Like people, the standard is thicker. Like, you know, sometimes you'll be on Instagram or wherever you look at your smut and you'll be like, God damn, this is like, this is not even a real. This is a cartoon.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Yeah.

[David Gordon]

You know what I mean? But then you go back and you think about who was the woman that they had taken all over Europe and stuff as a circus freak because of the size of her ass. You know what I mean? So it's like, maybe it does go way far back. I would wonder the history on that.

[Langston Kerman]

In some ways it feels like us getting left with the scraps and then making soul food out of it. Do you know what I mean? That like delicious, delicious. We are being. Yeah, but we're being fed these fatty almost like, like non functional foods that then changes the shape of generations of children and adults.

[David Gordon]

Right.

[Langston Kerman]

And so you either live in sort of this deep self hatred being like, we do not look like our oppressor. Or you go like, nah, this is what a person's supposed to look like. This is a new type of beauty standard that we can establish for ourselves.

[Ayanna Dookie]

We do that a lot. We're very good at taking. Taking trauma and tragedy and yeah. You know, finding joy with it and celebrating.

[Langston Kerman]

Then it's working perfectly.

[David Gordon]

I don't feel like, these bodies are trauma and tragedy always, though. I don't. I don't. I don't. I feel like that's not a fair parallel. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

I. Well, I think maybe it's less of it being directly trauma and tragedy and more born from the trauma and tragedy of generations before us. Right. That it's not your. It's not that our beauty standards are a reflection of trauma and tragedy, but more, our beauty standards were established by people who were sort of living under a type of oppression that required them to rethink how all of this works.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Also, if women are going through puberty at an earlier age, you know that even though they might physically be presenting these things. Things. I'm sure there's something emotionally happening in there as well, which I wonder contributes to, like, just over sexualizing of girls at a younger age.

[David Gordon]

Right.

[Ayanna Dookie]

How all of that. I don't. I would need more time to, like, really think that through, so I don't want to misspeak, but it's just like, how does that, as a community, how does that really impact.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll tell you this. I don't think you're supposed to tell your daughter that the month that she's born in is going to make her super horny. So. So, yeah, I think. I think just being careful in the way that you speak to young girls is. Is makes a big impact on the way that they see themselves, the way that they're ultimately treated in the world. We really, right from the beginning, have a lot of sway, maybe more than we like to acknowledge.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I agree.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. Well. Well, I wish that I could say that this ends more optimistically. It seems, if we are all agreeing on it, that your dad was right. McDonald's french fries do make big old titties.

[David Gordon]

Also, Scorpios are very sexual.

[Langston Kerman]

But he wasn't right that it was exclusively titties. They make big old everything. And so if you can find a healthier alternative, and if you can't, I don't know, man. French fries are the best. And enjoy yourself. We're not here to yuck your yum.

[David Gordon]

We love those titties.

[Langston Kerman]

We love those titties. And we love that chicken from Popeyes.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I have nothing from Popeyes. I'm looking at y'all like, I don't know what y'all expect me to do right now.

[David Gordon]

No. That's the thing about this podcast. Yeah. It makes you feel complicated.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I don't know. What do you want? We did the. We did the most responsible thing we could have done. Given that this started off at McDonald's. Makes your titties big, I think.

[David Gordon]

I just want to say when this came in, I was very nervous about this conversation and I think this was the best. Yeah, we're talking about underage titties. Yeah. I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared. I have to work. I have a family.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I didn't even think about it. I sent it and I asked. I was like, is this appropriate?

[David Gordon]

I got people that rely on me. You got me out here. Talk about little titties.

[Ayanna Dookie]

I didn't mean to disrupt your sleep.

[David Gordon]

No, it's fine. That's what I'm saying. It went very well. This went really.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I say is it never made me nervous once. And maybe that's a problem with me. Maybe that's.

[David Gordon]

I also. Are you sure you weren't at all.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I was like, yeah, we will be okay.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, it'll be all right. I saw this shit and I just was like, I saw it. I was like, man, there about to be a deadline article about it. That shit's going down. I'm the darkest one, David bore.

[Langston Kerman]

Has hard formed opinions about little titties.

[David Gordon]

I am dark skinned enough and not famous enough that you could really get me out of here.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. That's for real.

[David Gordon]

That's for real.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck, I gotta get bigger.

[David Gordon]

You know what I mean?

[Ayanna Dookie]

I did not know my topic was irresponsible. See, this is why you came in hot, talking to me, telling me I couldn't call you Dave.

[David Gordon]

Yeah, that's really what it was. I had to.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You should have told me. Up top. You angry? Why did you just say that? Some of these being phone.

[Langston Kerman]

I said I'm not about to give you no colloquials. You trying to ruin my life?

[Ayanna Dookie]

My life, my career, Starve my family?

[Live Nation Voice]

Bitch.

[Ayanna Dookie]

You calling me David?

[Langston Kerman]

Ayanna, this is so fun. Could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

[Ayanna Dookie]

Sure. Thank you so much for having me. You can find me on Instagram at a dookie. That's a D O O K I E. Dookie really is my last name. You can, you can find me on Facebook if you want, but I'm not going. I'm not really hanging out there that much. And right now I'm just out here in the streets telling jokes. So, you know, find my show schedule on my Instagram page as well, which links to my. To my website.

[Langston Kerman]

So yeah, hell yeah, go, go follow Ayanna and go see her live. That sounds great. Bori, what you got?

[David Gordon]

December 5th and 6th, I'm gonna be at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas, my favorite town to do comedy in. And other than that, come see us at the. Come see us. Come see us at the final dates of the Start the Steel tour. We've been really hitting our stride this last few episodes. Episodes. So come out.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I would say so. It's been the, the. The tour has been wrapping up beautifully. Philly was dope. San Francisco was dope. Brooklyn was unbelievable. It really has been a great. Boston was fun. It's been a great run. So if you have not yet bought your tickets, please come and see us. We are going to be in Portland and we're going to be in Seattle and then that's going to be the whole shebang. And I have some dates coming up in the new year, but I ain't going to waste your time with them. February and the like. I'll be hitting the road again with a brand new hour that I'm very excited about. And more importantly, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. If you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us how big your titties are and how they got that way, send it all to mymamapodmail.com we would love to hear from you. Bori, you were about to say something.

[David Gordon]

Also. Call in. 844-LIL-Moms.

[Langston Kerman]

844-Lil-Ms. We have a phone number now.

[David Gordon]

Call in. We got some emails. I listened through. Y'all are crazy. We want to hear more of it.

[Langston Kerman]

We got some calls. We want everybody to call. If you're a faithful lil mom, then go ahead and pick up the phone. Call us now. Ms. Cleo voice. I didn't do it. Good. But imagine that was Ms. Cleo. It's hard to do when it's not me. Call us now.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Call me now.

[David Gordon]

Call me now for your free reading.

[Langston Kerman]

Call me now. Yeah, there you go. But please call us.

[Ayanna Dookie]

Do we all attempt Caribbean accents?

[David Gordon]

I have not. None.

[Langston Kerman]

But most importantly, yeah, send us your drops. Call us. Emails, Rate review. Subscribe. Buy the merch. Bye, bitch. The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money. Marshall's invented turkey stuffing. Y'all can't tell me nothing.

[Live Nation Voice]

Hey, comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuka Okatsuka Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[DSW Voice]

The holidays are here, and so is the IKEA Winter Sale. Now's your chance to make the holidays a little more magical and less expensive. Save up to 50 50% off on select items in store and online now through January 7th. Plus IKEA loyalty members get an extra 10% off on sale items offer valid in the US through 17 mall supplies. Last selection may vary by store and online. See store in ikea-usa.com wintersale for complete terms. Restrictions apply.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey there, it's Scott Patterson from I Am all in again. Podcast Life Short Talk Fast Stream Gilmore Girls on whom? Hulu that's right, grab your coffee and get cozy because all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls are now on Hulu. Stream all the witty, banner, heartwarming moments and awkward Friday night dinners with Lorelei, Rory and the eclectic mix of characters. Whether you're rewatching or going Gilmore for the first time, Hulu has you covered. It's a show. It's a lifestyle. It's now streaming on Hulu.

[David Gordon]

California Psychics is the real deal. They helped me out, totally changed my attitude, totally got me psyched to start my business and take a new path in my life. At California Psychics, we only connect our customers with the best. We reject 98% of the psychics who apply to us. So we guarantee if your reading isn't.

[Langston Kerman]

Life changing, it's free.

[David Gordon]

New customers receive 20 minutes for just $20. So experience the joy of [e-mail] for.

[Podcast Host]

More than 30 years in Kansas City, Kansas, a man allegedly raped and terrorized black women, a detective named Roger Golubski.

[David Gordon]

He told me to keep my mouth closed. If I did say anything, I would come up missing like so many others.

[Podcast Host]

But then, right before trial, he was found dead, leaving leaving countless questions behind. Listen to Corruption uncovered from Roc Nation and its Philanthropic Injustice Division, Team Roc. Wherever you get your podcasts.