Tris N' Chips (with Tristen J. Winger) RE-RELEASE

Summary

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Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – “Tris N’ Chips” (with Tristen J. Winger) RE-RELEASE

Podcast: My Momma Told Me (Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts)
Date: March 26, 2026
Hosts: Langston Kerman, David Gborie
Guest: Tristen J. Winger

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Main Theme

This episode continues the signature hilarious, irreverent investigation into Black conspiracy theories, with today’s focus on the widespread belief that flu shots are secretly tracking chips. Guest Tristen J. Winger (“Insecure,” “So Help Me Todd”) brings this suspicion to the table, and the trio verbally spar, riff, joke, and probe the roots and “logic” of this modern-day myth. The boundaries between tongue-in-cheek, satire, and cultural skepticism are as blurry as ever, with insightful humor about vaccine anxiety, government mistrust, and internet-age paranoia.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction & Icebreakers (02:35 – 08:04)

• The hosts start with their usual comedic banter, touching on Jay-Z’s advice to buy paintings, hair trends, and a brief riff about Lil Wayne’s dreadlocks as a tongue-in-cheek cause for America’s “devolve.”
  • “We finally work to prove that Lil Wayne's snapped off dreadlocks are the actual cause of the devolve in America.” – Langston (03:52)
• Tristen shares a childhood anecdote: his mom kept a cut-off rat tail in her scrapbook, leading to a roast session about Black hair trends and strict school policies.
  • “My mom does have one of my snapped off pieces of hair in her scrapbook.” – Tristen (05:57)

The Conspiracy Claim: Flu Shots as Tracking Chips (08:04 – 18:14)

• Tristen introduces the central conspiracy: “My momma told me flu shots are actually tracking chips.”
  • “How do you get everybody on board... track everybody? What other way than by giving people flu shots?” – Tristen (08:23)
• Discussion on why the government might want to track everyone, especially infants who lack phones.
• Tristen dodges claiming personal belief but reveals he’s never had a flu shot, implying natural skepticism and preference for holistic/ancestral black health solutions (“tea, basil, ginger, Old Bay, maca root”).
  • “I have a cabinet where I have lots of different teas... basil leaves does a lot for us. Ginger and Old Bay seasoning.” – Tristen (24:18)
• Langston and David discuss their own flu shot experiences, including Langston’s admission to signing up for experimental vaccines in college for quick cash.
  • “When I was in college, I signed up for... experimental flu shots because I needed the money.” – Langston (12:55)

Technical “Logic” Breakdown of the Conspiracy (13:48 – 38:17)

• The group explores the premise: do flu shot microchips need annual updates (“Like your phone, you gotta re-up the software!”).
  • “There's a software update...[they] have to be updated regularly.” – Tristen (14:06)
• The kinetic energy argument: microchips use body movement as a power source, like automatic watch movements.
  • “Your body is a battery... the chips rely on this kinetic energy.” – Tristen (33:09)
• Mesh networks: Large numbers of chips in each shot create a mesh network, improving “coverage” and redundancy.
  • “It's the exact same principles... to put hundreds of thousands of these microchips in our bodies to create a... mesh network in our own human body, powered by... kinetic energy.” – Tristen (41:26)
• Skewering “scientific” and “media” objections via satire. Dismissing claims about the impractical size of chips, need for power sources, and randomness of vaccine vial dosage with classic barbershop logic.
  • “The entire state [Rhode Island] is a factory. That's why no one's ever been there.” – Tristen (31:34)
  • “If we have millions of microchips in this liquid... we're getting hundreds, if not hundreds of thousands of microchips in every dosage.” – Tristen (40:37)
• Repeated, rich riffs skewering mainstream skepticism. Interplay between “science” and Black folk wisdom.

Skepticism, Social Commentary, and Satire (25:10 – 55:23)

• 20% of Americans believe or probably believe in the conspiracy, per Langston’s research.
  • “There's at least 5% of Americans that believe definitely this is true... with another 15% who believe that this is probably true.” – Langston (25:10)
• Mistrust in media: Tristen derides “The Atlantic” as a news source, preferring “The Watchtower” or simply the Pacific Coast.
• Covid lockdown as government plot to expand “the bubble” (Truman Show analogy).
  • “We live in a bubble... with everyone being at home for about a year, they were able to finish different parts of this bubble.” – Tristen (28:53)
• Acknowledgement that people are already voluntarily microchipping themselves (for building access, etc.). Tristen describes Chip Girl on TikTok.
  • “There’s a girl on TikTok, she’s called the Chip Girl... she can access her home because she’s got a smart lock on her front door.” – Tristen (50:59)
• Satirical send-up of government needing to track babies: “What about the babies? Babies don’t have Cash App...I've tried.” (49:15)

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• “If you got one of these flu shots, the only way to stay off the radar is don’t move. Shoutout to my big people.” – David (34:00)
• “You just throw on a jacket, make sure you have one of those on. Whether or not people choose to understand and heed my advice, that is up to them.” – Tristen on life lessons (12:04)
• “Have you heard of a mesh network?... They adopted from this mesh WiFi network to put hundreds of thousands of these microchips in our bodies.” – Tristen (41:26)
• “I promise. Please look it up. And she’s doing that. Yeah. That is the future. I mean, you know, first there were BBLs, and now there are NFCs.” – Tristen (51:31)
• Joking on tech merging with “the culture”: “Just twerking it, light up like you’re opening your door with your hands full.”* – Langston (52:00)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:35 – 08:04: Opening jokes and Tristen’s rat tail childhood story
• 08:04 – 18:14: Conspiracy introduction and Tristen’s stance
• 13:48 – 38:17: Technical “logic” breakdowns: chip size, power, mesh networks
• 25:10 – 26:04: Stats on belief in the conspiracy
• 28:53 – 29:13: COVID lockdown = a “bubble expansion” op
• 41:26 – 42:36: Mesh networks and why we were told to leave the house
• 49:15 – 50:03: Societal surveillance: “What about the babies?”
• 50:59 – 52:00: Voluntary microchipping and the rise of “Chip Girl”
• 53:03 – 55:23: Wrap-up, plugs, and a riff on 90s sitcoms and audience reactions

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Conclusion & Episode Energy

The crew lands the episode in full-tilt satirical mode—satirizing the wild nature of health conspiracies, the “logic” of vaccine fears, and the generational humor that springs from cultural skepticism. Langston and David keep the tone lively and self-aware, frequently breaking to acknowledge the humor and the difference between real belief and playful provocation. Tristen J. Winger’s comedic rapport fits the show perfectly, heightening the interplay between deadpan and absurdity.

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Final Thoughts & Where to Find the Guest

• Tristen plugs his Instagram and Twitter: @htristenjwinger, as well as his role on “So Help Me Todd” (CBS).
• Langston and David plug upcoming standup dates and social handles.
• Listeners are encouraged to send in their own conspiracies for future episodes.

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Summary Tone: Playful, irreverent, culturally sharp, and full of biting satire. The hosts expertly blend real Black cultural anxieties and folk logic with modern internet-era skepticism—always keeping it funny.

Transcript

[Langston Kerman]

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[Tristan J. Winger]

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[Langston Kerman]

jay Z told us to buy paintings, and we were like, nah, we good.

[David Boy]

I listen, we cool, man. I bought a. I bought a bunch of them. I also stopped wearing jerseys when he told me,

[Langston Kerman]

all right, well, maybe you'll be the Jay Z of rat tails. But. But I don't necessarily know that if.

[David Boy]

Put it on. Oh, man. If only.

[Langston Kerman]

The government growing babies, microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist.

[David Boy]

The ozone layer owes me money.

[Langston Kerman]

Marching to Bending Turkey Stuffing.

[David Boy]

Y' all can't tell me nothing.

[Langston Kerman]

All I want to do is a

[David Boy]

zoom, zoom, zoom, and my boom, boom.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep, there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.

[David Boy]

I just want to say I hate the Rex and Effects beginning. And listen, as a big Teddy Riley guy. That's all I want to say. The podcast where we. The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and

[Langston Kerman]

we finally work to prove that Lil Wayne's snapped off dreadlocks are the actual cause of the devolve in America. That's right. It's that whatever juice came out in the middle of that snapped off dreadlock, it started to dissipate. It goes off into the air and out into the air, and it's infecting our brains. When did them dreadlocks snap off? Around 2012. Around 2013. You telling me that's not connected to where things have gone?

[David Boy]

I mean, it does feel like a direct correlation. Like, if I'm looking at the timeline.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Boy]

Damn. That was a heavily. That was a. That was a natty dreadlock. That shit. That shit.

[Langston Kerman]

That's bad dreadlock.

[David Boy]

Yeah, that shit had absorbed all kinds of essences.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, man. You know it's dreadlock snapping off. This is bad.

[David Boy]

Yeah, that's. Okay, That's. I like that one. I think that's very reasonable.

[Langston Kerman]

All right, well, I'm Langston Kerman.

[David Boy]

And I'm David Boy.

[Langston Kerman]

And we can't talk about snapped off dreadlocks all day. Our guest today, he ain't got no snapped off dreadlocks as far as I know. Maybe he's got, like, some sick history of his dreadlocks snapping off, but as far as I know, his. His dreadlocks have remained unsnapped this entire time. He's amazing. He's hilarious. You know him probably best from his phenomenal performance as Thug Yoda on the hit Insecure. Truly everyone's favorite character from that show. I don't think I meet a Single individual who doesn't cite at least three things that you said throughout the years. And more importantly, he's on a brand new show called so Help Me Todd. He's hilarious. Give it up for our guest, Mr. Tristan J. Winger. Hell y. Oh, yeah. How you doing?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, I'm great. I'm great. How y' all doing? That was a great intro. I appreciate it. And for the record, my mom does have one of my snapped off pieces of hair in her scrapbook of mine. I don't know about y', all, but when I was younger, my mom. I had a ducktail in the back and it was very long. And then I had to cut it off in order to get into this program in school, but she kept it disgusting.

[David Boy]

First of all, racist. Yes.

[Tristan J. Winger]

First of all, it was a process.

[David Boy]

They made you cut it off?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. They said boys couldn't have long hair.

[David Boy]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn. And them little tails. Those ain't long hair. That don't count as long hair.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

You don't have a rat tail and you get to be like, yeah, I got long hair. You have.

[David Boy]

He had one on the Cosby Show.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, you have a rat tail. That's a different thing.

[David Boy]

It was a cool haircut.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I mean, that bad boy was long. It was about 10.

[David Boy]

Damn. Really?

[Langston Kerman]

And that's very impressive. And I want to congratulate you and your mother for maintaining 10 inches of rat tail.

[David Boy]

Yeah. How often did you have to get it rebraided?

[Tristan J. Winger]

She would rebraid it about once a week. Cause it only took, like, what, five minutes? She would press it to get it at its maximum length and just braid that thing up.

[David Boy]

That's adorable.

[Tristan J. Winger]

But yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad, actually. Cause it's unbecoming. If I'm gonna be honest.

[David Boy]

I'm bringing it back. I was just about to say, whoa, you're going.

[Langston Kerman]

You're gonna be like a dude who does that again?

[David Boy]

I mean, not when you say it like that. It doesn't make you feel super confident. I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

It's just. I don't know how else to say. You're just gonna be. Because you're not gonna set a trend. You're 35, so you're just gonna be a man who.

[David Boy]

Hey, old niggas said trends.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think so, big dog. I think Jason pretty washed here, so.

[David Boy]

Right.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Jason, Many niggas are walking around with freeform hair. Like, it's just. And the Weeknd. And the Weeknd was like, I give up.

[David Boy]

Yeah, he's also Canadian.

[Langston Kerman]

Tristan, you came to us today. This is our behavior the whole time. So you gotta figure out how you gonna make it through.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Amen.

[Langston Kerman]

You came to us today with a conspiracy theory that we both got excited about. You said, my mama told me

[Martha Stewart]

flu

[Langston Kerman]

shots are actually tracking chips. Absolutely, please.

[Tristan J. Winger]

A thousand percent. I mean, it's just they make.

[Langston Kerman]

They.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You know, this season comes around every single year, and every single year, there are millions of people born in the United States.

[David Boy]

Right.

[Tristan J. Winger]

And how do you get everybody on board to get everybody on the same page so you know exactly where they are? You can't give infants a cell phone. Right. Because that's. That's a whole other topic. Because these are tracking. These are tracking devices. You know, we log in every day on them, but no one's logging in as an infant. No one is logging in at three months old. You can't even say anything. You don't have any opinions except that you want some milk from your mother. So they've got to find some way to track individuals in this country. And what other way than by giving people flu shots? We have to know where everybody is at all times. We got to keep track of these motherfuckers. Like, we gotta know where everybody is and how. You do that. By scaring him. Okay, okay, okay.

[David Boy]

Funk Flex knows he's going in.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Funk Flex knows.

[Langston Kerman]

So just to be clear, and I think I'm hearing you correctly, you are a believer of this. This isn't just a thing you're passive inside of. You're like, no flu shots, tracking devices. Hell, yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Well, listen, you know, a lot of people believe this. This is just something that I was told.

[Langston Kerman]

This was. That felt like politics, baby.

[David Boy]

That's how I get that TV money.

[Langston Kerman]

I get it. All right. I like that you did it, people. You even looked side to side like you had a crowd there. This was good.

[Tristan J. Winger]

It's just folks there. There are good people on both sides of this issue.

[David Boy]

No, everybody buys sneakers.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, everybody. You know, I mean, you know, some people believe this, other people believe that they don't want to get sick every year. And so, you know, sometimes they go to their local drugstore and they get a little shot in the arm and it's done.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And. Okay, I guess my next question is, when was your last flu shot? Are you a flu shot guy? Are you? Are you not? You're like, no, I'll never get a flu shot ever. Are you like, they'll never find me, man. Who's on TV every week?

[Tristan J. Winger]

I Can't say that I've ever received said flu shot.

[Langston Kerman]

Woo. Oh, no.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. I can't to be. I can't remember when exactly I've had one of these flu shots.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

My memory only goes as far back as I can remember. I can only remember back to about the second grade, through the blessings of God. So I was about 6. And as far as I can remember, I don't remember getting a flu shot at 6. So you know what? I can't remember. I can't recall.

[David Boy]

Yeah, now we're in it.

[Langston Kerman]

We're in it, baby.

[David Boy]

All right. All right. Now we're in it. I love that. I love that.

[Langston Kerman]

Are you in the place now where you're like, I'm gonna. I'm telling. I'm telling everybody I know. This is. Are you trying to propagate this or are you like, nah, this is just for me. And people will figure it out on their.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

Like, where are you in the championing of the ideas?

[Tristan J. Winger]

There are a lot of things that I champion.

[David Boy]

I like this guy.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I champion just love for everyone. I champion that we, you know, multivitamins. I champion multivitamins. I. I take a powdered version of the mustard. I mix with water. I champion. One of the other things that I was told when I was young, that I definitely follow is never to leave home without a jacket, because you never know how late you're gonna be out.

[David Boy]

She wanna fuck with the dick.

[Tristan J. Winger]

So, you know, you just throw on a jacket, make sure you have one of those on. So, you know. And whether or not people choose to understand and heed my advice, that is up to them. So

[Tyler Reddick]

I don't give a fuck who say what.

[Langston Kerman]

Blood on crib.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, that's right.

[Langston Kerman]

I love it.

[Tristan J. Winger]

That's right.

[David Boy]

I'm excited. Makes me wish I could take back my last fucking flu shot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, I'm sold.

[David Boy]

I think I got it when I got boosted like a mark.

[Langston Kerman]

I think this kind of control, this kind of professionalism inside of it is fucking convincing. It's making me go, yeah, this man's too goddamn good for there not to be some legitimacy to the presentation.

[David Boy]

Here's my question to you, Langston. When was your last flu shot?

[Langston Kerman]

Huh? That's a good question. So here's a honest to God truth is that when I was in college, I signed up for the, like, experimental flu shots because I needed the money.

[David Boy]

Oh, yeah, we've all done medical testing for bread.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I was like, boy, oh, boy, $25 a shot. That Sounds good to me. Sounds like me and the bitches going to Wendy's.

[David Boy]

Four for fours for the whole car, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, y'. All. It's on me tonight.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Kevin, Crunch shakes for everybody.

[Langston Kerman]

So I, I'd be lying if I didn't say that my, if, if, if in fact what is being presented is true. I'd be lying if my blood isn't coursing with, with microchips just through my bones.

[David Boy]

I had a good cause, like.

[Tristan J. Winger]

So.

[David Boy]

Okay, so here's what we're saying on a base level, right. It would mean that the microchip doesn't last forever. Right. Obviously it needs to be re upped every now and again. That's what, that's what, that would be the basis of why we have to do it every year, right?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

There's a software update.

[David Boy]

Right? Right.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Just like, you know, you get updates for your phone and all of your mobile devices. There are software updates, there are improvements. We have advancements in computer technologies. I mean even when we look at, you know, cars that are coming out now with over the air updates, talk that talk. You know, Bluetooth, Bluetooth was a revolution. You know, a lot of people have AirPods and a lot of people have like Bluetooth earphones and some people are sticking with the wired joints because provide great audio through the microphone.

[David Boy]

Brother, who you telling? Look at me right now.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You think I'm not exactly.

[David Boy]

I keep a cord. I keep a cord.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Case in point. And so in order to get the people who are unable to cut the cord say, to speak. You know, those flu shots have to be updated regularly.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Tristan J. Winger]

And annually.

[Langston Kerman]

So those of us that have been caught tricked into sort of re upping or just re upping technology for our own tracking, are we. Is the argument here, and I want to be clear, is the argument here that the flu shot otherwise has zero function, that it truly is just like. Or they like, hey, here's a flu shot that's going to help your body. But also. Gotcha, we got you.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Well, so you know, there are lots of different types of vitamins and medications that have multiple resources in them. Like for example, there's, there's this new medication called Ozempic that is for diabetics. Right. That's, that was the primary function of it. But one of the side effects is weight loss. So a lot of people are using it for weight loss. And so, you know, everybody on the,

[David Boy]

on the Oscars was on ozemic.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

And that is another theory that I, we don't have time to talk about today also.

[David Boy]

You don't have to call them theories. This is a safe place.

[Tristan J. Winger]

This is a fact. Every single last one of those people on that stage were on Ozempic. There was a pre party sponsored by Ozempic. I ain't playing. There was a pre party hosted and presented by Ozempic.

[Langston Kerman]

Dr. Ozempic himself came out. He said, finally, all my children are amongst me. And presented them the awards.

[David Boy]

My sunken cheeks children.

[Tristan J. Winger]

And that's exactly why Jamie Lee Curtis, she's the new spokesperson that's going to be. It's a new.

[David Boy]

Does she also have.

[Langston Kerman]

I think. I think her thing was. Was bad bowels.

[Tristan J. Winger]

She.

[Langston Kerman]

She had those gut issues, which is why she did the. The yogurt Activia.

[David Boy]

Oh, yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

From the makers of Activia. Ozempic.

[Langston Kerman]

Ozempic.

[David Boy]

Understandable.

[Langston Kerman]

You're going to shit yourself either way. Come on, have some of these.

[Tristan J. Winger]

It's going to come out. The truth shall set you free.

[David Boy]

Yeah, she just needed them shuffled around a little bit.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we might be ready to throw to a break. Before we do that, let's ask one final question. I'm curious to know. Do you feel like. Should we find out that these tracking systems are placed in our body? That we are in fact being tracked through these microchips? Is there something that we can do about it? Or is this just. There it is. They got us. Boom goes the dynamite.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Well, I mean, the thing that a lot of people are doing these days, they're consuming large amounts of Gatorade. Specifically. Specifically the purple Gatorade.

[David Boy]

Looks like he lives in my apartment, bro.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Okay. Because the purple one, as we all know, and this is not a theory. Goes right through the bloodstream. It's got a lot of calcium in it. Helps our bones grow.

[David Boy]

The sky.

[Langston Kerman]

You're the man now, dog. I don't. I don't know that there's anything else that needs to be said. Purple Gatorade does a lot for me. We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more Tristan J. Winger and more. My mama told me.

[Tyler Reddick]

Critics and audiences agree. Only three letters described. They will kill you.

[Langston Kerman]

Wtf?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Splendid.

[Tyler Reddick]

USA Today calls it bloody and bunkers. Are you ready to die? IGN declares it's electrifying. Action cinema and popcorn. Entertainment to the max.

[Langston Kerman]

How many of you are there?

[Tyler Reddick]

It begs to be seen in a packed theater.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Please remember to clean up the blood.

[Tyler Reddick]

Wow. They will kill you.

[David Boy]

Now playing only in theaters.

[Tyler Reddick]

Rated R under 17. Not admitted without parent.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Tyler Reddick]

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[Martha Stewart]

the Martha Stewart Podcast. Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret when prepping for cooking and baking, get ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter so the paper grips. Lay it down and drips and spills stay on the paper, not on your counter. Cleanup is as simple as lifting it away to reveal clean counters. Effortless it is thanks to Reynolds Kitchens Countertop prep paper wet it set, it prep, it done. Available in the Reynolds wrap aisle at Walmart.

[Langston Kerman]

Smell good, I feel good and you sing good and make love good.

[David Boy]

Oh,

[Tyler Reddick]

oh.

[David Boy]

Welcome back. We have young king Tristan J. Winger. Dropping bombs. Dropping bombs. Tell us the truth. Tell you idiots the truth? You've been looking for truth. Here it is. Here it is. Bars. Nigga. You know nothing about that or. I didn't even mean to put that one on. That was the wrong one and I ain't playing. No, that's how excited I am about this young man who's. Know what? Don't even listen to me.

[Langston Kerman]

I was about to say you're malfunctioning because you're so short circuited.

[David Boy]

Somebody put water on the boards.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Listen, it's that flu shot.

[David Boy]

If I could take back one thing in the last year, now more than anything else.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, are you a flu shot every year guy? Is that okay?

[David Boy]

But yeah, I got. I got. It made me think it was rich people shit to do because I was already.

[Langston Kerman]

The way you just pitched, it was like you had to save up for your big flu shot triannually. That's not good.

[David Boy]

You could try it. You take it three times a year.

[Langston Kerman]

I meant every three years. But, you know, I think it's that. That same thing that biannually suffers from.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Or bi weekly.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, biweekly. It's like one of those is incorrect and none of us agree on which one.

[David Boy]

No, it's hard. It's hard to set up a recurring event. The point is. No, I was. I was. Bro. I was off the grid all the flu shot. I didn't have health insurance from. Like, I left home at 17 and I started doing. I didn't have health insurance for like 14 years. So there's a huge gap. That's my Jesus time. They don't know where I'm.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, they don't know where I'm. 40 years. No doctor. Not once.

[David Boy]

Good for you. Couple, couple, couple. Couple emergency room visits that, you know, you have legal id. Who owes those bills, you know what I'm saying? But yeah. No, no, no, no.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Not at all.

[Langston Kerman]

Trisland. How often are you consulting with a medical professor?

[David Boy]

I think you know,

[Tristan J. Winger]

I mean, as you can probably already tell, I don't. I have a cabinet where I have lots of different teas. Tell them basil leaves does a lot for us. If you don't know basil leaves and

[David Boy]

ginger and old Bay seasoning.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Obey. Seasoning. Exactly. Old Bay seasoning right there. Right next to the ginger ale.

[David Boy]

I bet he's got some Echinacea in there.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Absolutely, absolutely. Echinacea. And what is that other. The other maca root? Maca root does wonders for us throughout the whole body.

[David Boy]

Yeah,

[Langston Kerman]

every piece is getting a little macaroot in there.

[David Boy]

Every last link under your nose before bed. It stops your snoring.

[Langston Kerman]

Exactly.

[David Boy]

People don't want that.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Who needs vapor rub?

[Langston Kerman]

I did do a fair amount of research on your conspiracy theory that I'd love to hear your thoughts on. Obviously, take it as it is. I'm not a bright man and I'm learning a lot today. This has been very informative for me personally. The first statistic I'll throw your way is that based on polls, there's at least 5% of Americans that believe definitely this is true, that flu shots are actually tracking chips with another 15% who believe that this is probably true. They're not as certain as some people, but they are fairly certain.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, that's at least 20% of the population right there who are going to live a very healthy, prosperous life.

[David Boy]

Check the numbers.

[Tristan J. Winger]

20%. But see, doesn't that make sense? 20% of the population, you know, 20 out of 100 people getting to just live on and just repopulate the Earth. This is exactly what I talk about on my Twitter when I talk about. When talking about evolution, it's 20%.

[David Boy]

I didn't come see no monkeys.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Okay, well, I mean, there's evidence to suggest otherwise that I don't support.

[David Boy]

Okay, there we go. She wanna fuck with the pig.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Okay, okay. Because 80% of people a million years ago, when we were on this planet, only had four fingers on each hand. The 20%.

[David Boy]

That's why there are forefathers.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly, exactly, exactly. King. Thank you.

[David Boy]

Come on, come on, come on.

[Langston Kerman]

You see me, I came across an Atlantic. Art of the Atlantic, excuse me. Written by someone who works specifically for a data where they work in creating, quote, unquote, wearable devices. And he, in this article is exploring the possibility that when he went to go get his COVID vaccine, that he could have been possibly getting injected with a microchip. He goes, he's sitting and he's getting the vaccine. And he goes, all right, let me, Let me consider the possibilities here. And then he tries to write an article where he breaks down sort of the falsehoods, or rather the impossibilities of that actually occurring. Now, before I read that, I'd love to hear your reaction just at the premise of this. Just at the premise of this article.

[David Boy]

What's the name of the company he Works for.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, that's a good question. That's a good question. But I first want to express my disappointment in you getting this information from the Atlantic. I'm surprised. I usually get my information from the Watchtower.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boy]

And, you know, I'm a Pacific family.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly. West Coast. But I mean, it. It just makes. It makes a lot of sense to me that, you know, there would be something also in this quote, unquote vis a vis vaccine that was generated just to get everybody to stay at home so they can, you know. Have you ever seen the Truman Show? Remember when he was on the boat and he was going toward the horizon, then he ran into the wall?

[Langston Kerman]

I do. I do remember that.

[Tristan J. Winger]

So. And that happened because that was a part of his quote, unquote world he was living in that they didn't get to finish expanding. We live in a bubble. Okay. And so

[David Boy]

why are you running?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Why are you running with everyone being at home for about a year, not able to go anywhere? They were able to finish different parts of this bubble that we live in. They were able to expand this bubble for us. And so, you know, it just makes sense to me that they had to keep track of people to make sure that we were staying at home. So they can do that for us.

[David Boy]

Yeah. Because originally the bubble stopped at the doctor.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly. That's where all the Passport bros go. Exactly. Ask all the Passport bros. They know.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll present a few more. While I respect your choice and hear you about the Atlantic critique week, I'll present to you some of the information that this possibly mistaken article communicates. And you tell me one way or the other where you fall in the information. One of the things that they talk about in this article is that people's biggest concern, or at least what they claim is the concern, is that the microchips will somehow be powered through 5G. Right. That they are communicating via 5G towers powered through the 5G. And subsequently, that's how they're tracking us. And one of the things that he points out is that 5G chips, as we have them now, are about the size of a penny, which is far larger than anything you could fit into a vial to inject into a person.

[Tristan J. Winger]

So. So I'm so glad you brought that up, because the 5G chips are. They are essentially part of the same ecosystem. If we think about, let's say, for example, when we talk about Apple, we know Apple as this big conglomerate, and they make all these devices that communicate with each other. So it's the same manufacturer as the 5G chips. The flu shot COVID vaccine. If you go in and if you look at the manufacturer, if you go and look at the address, they all have the same address. They're in Rhode island, the smallest state.

[David Boy]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

They're saying, just so I'm clear, you know what?

[David Boy]

Rhode Island, Rhode Island School of Design E. Designing them, making the chips there.

[Langston Kerman]

You're saying they chose the smallest state to make the smallest chips that they then put into our flu.

[David Boy]

Langston, how big a factory do you need if the chips are tiny? Do the math, brother.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Come on, man. I know we can't all be architects.

[David Boy]

You can bump those out of an Arby's.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so you don't even need. You don't need, like, some massive plot of land. Hence, Rhode island is the perfect location.

[David Boy]

Come on. Exactly.

[Tristan J. Winger]

The entire state is a factory. That's why no one's ever been there.

[David Boy]

It's also the most corrupt state in the Union, period. Look that up.

[Tristan J. Winger]

That's dumb. It's a fact.

[David Boy]

That's not me.

[Langston Kerman]

Not like this other stuff. Don't look this other stuff up. But that you can look up.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Don't need to.

[David Boy]

You can look that up. Look that up.

[Langston Kerman]

The next thing that this person talks about is that, frankly, there is a major dispute or certainly flaw in the argument in that the chips have to be powered somehow. They say there's no real power source for the chips inside of the human body, even if they were in fact small enough to make it inside.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Come on. Come on, guys.

[David Boy]

Your body is a battery.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly.

[David Boy]

I don't know if you've ever seen the experiment children do with lemons and light bulbs.

[Langston Kerman]

I haven't, but that sounds like. It sounds like a black John Mayer song. Your body is a battery. Your body is a battery. Double A. Exactly. Tristan, your your thoughts? Is our. Are our bodies actually batteries?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. I mean, yes, to an extent. So the idea. As you're aware, there are different types of watches, right? I don't know if either you guys are into watches at all. There's some watches that are powered by batteries, and there are some.

[David Boy]

I don't believe in time that are.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I mean, it's a construct, and that's the proper way to pronounce. Pronounce it construct and not construct. But. But anyway, with watches, there are battery powered watches, and there are also automatic watches. Automatic watches depend on movement. So you keep on your watch. For example, this is the automatic watch. You keep it on. It uses your. Your movement. Kinetic energy. That is real kinetic energy. And it Powers the device. And the same thing happens with these chips. 5G requires a battery. That's why those are in phones, larger chips. But the smaller chips, the ones that they put in the flu shots aren't. They're. They're too small for batteries, so they rely on this kinetic energy from our body movement.

[David Boy]

That being said, so you understand what he's saying, the only way, if you got one of these flu shots, the only way to stay off the radar is don't move, shout out to my big people. There's a reason they can't track the rate. They don't know how many there are. Because we're not moving around them.

[Langston Kerman]

Chips go into sleep mode and wait their turn.

[David Boy]

Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Boy]

That's how they get.

[Tristan J. Winger]

They lay dormant.

[Langston Kerman]

Now, one of the points that you're making that I actually have to acknowledge is a valid point because I did look up what is the smallest microchip, like the smallest computer right now that that has been created is technically small enough to fit in through the very small needles. I believe they're like something like 22 millimeter, whatever needles that are used for the COVID vaccine. There are in fact chips that are small enough to do that. However, what they say is those chips are not built for any version of like a radio interaction. They're more just chips for like temperature sensing and non communication based activities.

[David Boy]

Is that what they said?

[Tristan J. Winger]

That is baloney. Because. Hey, wait a minute.

[Langston Kerman]

Because this is a family podcast, so I can't have you out here using wild terms like baloney. Let's just take it easy, okay?

[Tristan J. Winger]

It's pepperoni.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's back. Hey, let's back that shit up and talk to each other like adults. All right.

[Tristan J. Winger]

It's Malarkey then.

[David Boy]

That's my favorite kind of sandwich anyways.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly. Ask Ayra has her way with M

[David Boy]

A L, A, R and G. Malarkey has a first name is Osc.

[Langston Kerman]

Oscar Malarkey. Oh, man.

[David Boy]

That was for immigrants.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah.

[David Boy]

He came to this country as Oscar Malarkey. They changed it at Ellis Island.

[Langston Kerman]

They made him change his name. And he was like, I'll fucking show you. I'm gonna make the most American food real, okay? I'll poison real mediocre.

[David Boy]

I'll poison you from the inside out. And you'll never know. Forget the name of Oscar J. Malarkey.

[Tristan J. Winger]

But on a serious note, The fact that this chip measures temperature. Our body is a thermostat, okay? And we have to be at what temperature to be alive?

[David Boy]

To be 98.6.

[Tristan J. Winger]

98.6.

[David Boy]

Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you. I just wanted to be in the conversation. I made. I made that.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Thank you, thank you. But, you know, because you read, you read.

[Langston Kerman]

I was gonna say, I definitely think you can get colder than 98.6 and still keep. Still, keep kicking around, but you have to maintain. Oh, you gotta. You gotta average out to 98.6.

[David Boy]

Yeah, it's gotta usually be. Yeah.

[Tristan J. Winger]

The human body's operating temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Tristan J. Winger]

But I. I go by Kelvin.

[Langston Kerman]

That means I can have like a 60, a 63 day, as long as I get to a 120 day the next time.

[David Boy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you gotta. You gotta diversify.

[Tristan J. Winger]

That's math.

[Langston Kerman]

I got you. All right. Okay. So you're saying that this temperature, the need to measure temperature is a falsehood, therefore these chips themselves are not doing what they're telling us they're claiming to do.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly. Because like I was saying earlier, the way that, you know, you can take spam and make that into any kind of meat product thing you can do that with, you can multitask with devices. So this device that measures our body temperature, or you know, that's what it's actually doing, is transmitting our location at all times directly to the White House, to Joe Biden's computer,

[Langston Kerman]

Joe Biden's big booty desktop that he scrolls on. You know, he's got a big old thick old desktop.

[Tristan J. Winger]

He ain't got a hook on it, got a shelf on it.

[Langston Kerman]

His computer has boot up sounds. That shit is regular.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You just had a keyboard on top of that thing.

[Langston Kerman]

The other piece of information that I'd love to hear your thoughts on, and this is one of the major arguments they have against the suggestion that there are microchips in the fluid that's being injected is that they say that we, for example, for Covid, get vials of Pfizer, let's say that are basically meant to be dedicated. You're already off, off course on Pfizer. You're like, now, I'm not here for Pfizer.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, the P is silent. Whatever.

[Langston Kerman]

But. But there are six to 25 doses in each of these vials that they're sending, right? Which means that you are using separate needles, but you're still injecting into the same liquid, right? And as you pull from that liquid, there's no way of guaranteeing that you would have a microchip in each dosage just because it's Free flowing liquid.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Mm, mm, mm, mm. So if I learned anything in my high school science class where they start, it's that. It's that, that is where they start. That is where they start to get us, you know, trained, is that liquids take the form and take the shape of their container. And so if we have, you know, these, you know, I can't pronounce the name. I believe it begins with a P, but the P is silent, so I can't pronounce the rest of the word. But if so you have millions of microchips in this liquid. Who's to say that with every injection we're only getting one microchip? That's not what I believe. I believe we have hundreds, if not hundreds of thousands of microchips in every dosage that we're getting.

[Langston Kerman]

Would you say that you're racist?

[Tyler Reddick]

Not at all.

[David Boy]

No. Look at my dog. He's as black as can be.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Exactly.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a real yes and moment. I think of that, that to your thing.

[David Boy]

Absolutely.

[Langston Kerman]

So this is fascinating because you're saying that there are hundreds to hundreds of thousands of microchips in each pool. So it doesn't matter if we're not getting all the microchips. And am I then to believe that they're just all powering a single connection or they like only working one at a time kind of thing?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Have you heard of a mesh network? You go to a certain part of your house, you have WI fi. We used to just have one WI fi. I mean, not my house, but we used to. People would have one WI fi router in the house. But like now you need multiple routers in your home to create a mesh network. Nobody's home is that big. No one needs that many routers in their home. So it's the exact same principles that they adopted from this mesh WI fi network to put hundreds of thousands of these microchips in our bodies to create a what? Mesh network in our, our own human body, powered by our kinetic energy from our movement. Which is why they were so much in a rush to get us from staying in the house to out of the house and go back to work. When I thought this was a pandemic and we were supposed to stay at home, but now we're rushed to go to work. I thought we were working from home. What happened there? Now I've got to travel in my car, interact with other people and ping off of them, our locations with one another. Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh man. Come on. You're saying we had to move them little legs to keep the power going.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Absolutely. Exactly.

[David Boy]

Cause it's kinetic.

[Langston Kerman]

Boy, where are you at with this? I know you felt sold before trying

[David Boy]

to pick my brain up off the floor, to be quite honest. I mean, it's not often somebody comes into your life and they just like. Like so many cylinders that you are familiar on, firing on.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, I do drink V8.

[David Boy]

So. Brother, you don't think I knew you were an eight head I saw coming to the door? Come on, man.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I know. I know an ocho when I see one.

[David Boy]

Yeah. Come on, man. My man's beta carotene's up. Well, Dark,

[Langston Kerman]

we're gonna take a break from these these ojos. We'll be back with more Tristan J. Winger and more My mama told me.

[Tyler Reddick]

Critics and audiences agree. Only three letters describe they will kill you.

[Langston Kerman]

Wtf?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Splendid.

[Tyler Reddick]

USA Today calls it bloody and bunkers. Are you ready to die? IGN declares it's electrifying. Action cinema and popcorn entertainment to the max.

[Langston Kerman]

How many of you are there?

[Tyler Reddick]

It begs to be seen in a packed theater.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Please remember to clean up the blood.

[David Boy]

Wow.

[Tyler Reddick]

They will kill you.

[David Boy]

Now playing only in theaters.

[Tyler Reddick]

Rated R under 17. Not admitted without parent. Tyler Reddick here from 2311. Racing.

[Martha Stewart]

Game night's fun until someone spends five

[Tyler Reddick]

minutes lining up one shot.

[David Boy]

Chalk.

[Langston Kerman]

Breathe.

[Tyler Reddick]

Rechock.

[Langston Kerman]

Still aiming.

[Tyler Reddick]

While they figure it out, I fire up Chumba Casino. I can spin anywhere, anytime. And there's always a new social casino game every week. Spins happen way faster than that shot. Play [e-mail] let's Chumba. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group Voidware prohibited by Law21 Plus. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's stock up savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for storewide deals that earn four times the points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Lindor, Chips Ahoy, Gatorade Host, Ziploc and Zoa. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings. When you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions.

[Redfin Advertiser]

Let's talk about modern home shopping. It's sort of become a fun side hobby, right? Scrolling listings at night dreaming about kitchens you've never seen or backyards you haven't even stepped foot in. All from the comfort of pretty much anywhere. Redfin knows a lot of people like you want to own but are stuck in this browsing mode loop. That's where Redfin flips the script. With listings that update within minutes and tours you can book right from the Redfin app, you can see your dream home the moment it appears. Now, liking a listing is easy, but actually landing it, that's where Redfin comes in. Redfin has over 2200 agents with local expertise. And Redfin agents close twice as many deals as other agents. That means they want to help you win. Not just window shop. Redfin is built to help you go from just looking to wait. This could actually be home. So become the newest neighbor on the block. Visit redfin.com to start finding and start owning. That's redfin.com this is Martha Stewart from

[Martha Stewart]

the Martha Stewart Podcast. Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret. When prepping for cooking and baking, get ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter so the paper grips. Lay it down. And drips and spills stay on the paper, not on your counter. Cleanup is as simple as lifting it away to reveal clean counters. Effortless it is thanks to Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper. Wet it, set it, prep it. Done. Available in the Reynolds wrap aisle at Walmart.

[David Boy]

Someone get this jigaboo away from me. We are back with the young king. Speaking about whether or not it is microchips inside that flu shot that you all decided to take. I was forced. But you all decided willingly. I was forced to the Sam's Club. Wow.

[Tristan J. Winger]

They got you in the Sam's Club too?

[David Boy]

They got me in the Sam's Club.

[Langston Kerman]

How'd they force you? What happened?

[David Boy]

Well, they were just like. Well, we could also give you. You're getting the booster. We also just knocked the flu out right now.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, they hit you with that slick.

[David Boy]

You know I love a bundle deal. You know I love a bundle.

[Tristan J. Winger]

You know where the Sam and Sam's Club comes from, right? I know.

[Langston Kerman]

You know, I. I do not know. But boy, am I I gotta hear it.

[Tristan J. Winger]

First name Uncle, Last name

[David Boy]

Salmon.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Mm.

[David Boy]

Damn. Damn.

[Langston Kerman]

Fuck.

[David Boy]

They were feeding me the whole time.

[Langston Kerman]

I had a feeling, but I just needed to hear you say it out loud. You know how you hold out hope that maybe you didn't make the ultimate mistake?

[David Boy]

Mm.

[Langston Kerman]

It was right there. It's not his first name's uncle.

[David Boy]

Should have got a fucking Costco membership. That's what I should have done.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I'll tell you about that one at another time. If you Want more information? Cash at me.

[Langston Kerman]

Here's the last piece of evidence, and I'm cautious to use that word evidence that I'll present to you. They also say that even if you are of the thinking that these microchips are somehow going into your system and they are needing to re up it every year, they say that this actually isn't even necessary in order for the government to track you. That like tracking has existed for a lot longer than we acknowledge that through credit cards, through our cell phones, through our computers, through all the information we are constantly feeding to a programming around us. There's no need for them to spend oodles and oodles amount of money putting microchips in our bodies.

[David Boy]

I can take this one. What about the babies? Oh, what about those goddamn babies?

[Langston Kerman]

Golly.

[Tristan J. Winger]

That's the future mother loving babies.

[David Boy]

Come on, man.

[Langston Kerman]

And so just so I'm clear, your

[David Boy]

babies don't have cash app. You can't cash app a baby. I've tried.

[Langston Kerman]

They're suggesting that they're expecting these babies to just be loose from their parents for long enough that they'll need to be tracking them.

[David Boy]

There's some wild ass babies out there. Just because you were a square.

[Langston Kerman]

Yep, they're just all right. And they got to keep an eye out.

[David Boy]

I seen a baby in a pool hall one time. He was playing cutthroat. Three guys, one table,

[Langston Kerman]

two men and a baby, I presume.

[David Boy]

Well, yeah, that's how he got it. He couldn't walk in.

[Tristan J. Winger]

He had his bichorn sitting on a chair next to him.

[David Boy]

Yeah. He was smoking cools.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. Drinking a Gatorade.

[David Boy]

A purple.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll also say this. There are actually people who intentionally are microchipping themselves and others. But a lot of them are just using it, at least in the iteration that is the intentional microchips. And they're much larger. They're like the size of a grain of rice, which is 33 times large. Larger than what would fit inside of the vaccine needles. But they say that they're mostly using it for like functional things like accessing your computer, getting in the building without having like keys and shit, paying for things without needing a card. Like that's what their microchips are for.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen it. There's a. There's a girl on TikTok, she's called the Chip girl. And this is a real thing, just like everything else I've said. But this one is very real. The chip girl I believe is her handle. And she can access her home. Because she's got a smart lock on her front door. She can. Like you said, she uses proximity. It's an nf. It's a near field communicator NFC chip that she has in her hand. And she can press that, like, against a pain like she's Batman. And things just come on in her home.

[David Boy]

I promise.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Please look it up. And she's doing that. Yeah. That is the future. I mean, you know, first there were bbls, and now there are nfcs.

[David Boy]

I can't wait for someone to marry the two.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, just got two big old chips in your butt. Just big old thick old chips in that butt.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Enter every room with your butt cheeks first.

[Langston Kerman]

Just twerking it light up like you're

[Tristan J. Winger]

opening your door with your hands full. You gotta.

[Langston Kerman]

Just gotta back in your booty, start clapping. And Siri answers. She's like, what do you need? What? What? What?

[Tristan J. Winger]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Yeah, that's. You know, that's very valid from the creators of.

[David Boy]

But a clapper in each butt cheek.

[Langston Kerman]

Clapper in each butt cheek.

[David Boy]

Twerk the whole house awake. I'm not.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not gonna lie. I think that has to be the name of this episode is Clapper in each butt Cheek.

[David Boy]

Oh, I think that that's.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think we have anything better.

[David Boy]

Of all the points that we've had.

[Langston Kerman]

Otherwise it's gonna be like a dumb pun, like Chips Ahoy or some shit.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Thousand chips. Delicious

[Langston Kerman]

Chip and Dale

[Tristan J. Winger]

track your body.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, goddammit, Tristan. I think we solved this. I think you've made more than enough points to prove that the science is wrong on this. That there are in fact chips in our flu shots. And we'd be fools to even keep playing around with Walgreens and what they're offering into our bodies.

[David Boy]

Yeah, absolutely. No, you've done a lot for the community. I'm not even gonna say which community. You know which community.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Boy]

You know what I mean? Ochos. Where we go one, we go all ochos. I meant the Ocho one, not the other one.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Absolutely.

[Langston Kerman]

Tristan, could you. Could you tell the people where they can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

[Tristan J. Winger]

Sure. I will tell people where they can, quote, unquote, find me. Nice. Nice trick, Langston. Nice trick.

[David Boy]

He's always trying to play it. He's always trying to get me.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm a cop, man. I'm not even gonna hold you. I'm a goddamn cop.

[David Boy]

He gets nosebleeds too. Ask him about that.

[Tristan J. Winger]

I heard the echo. However, if you'd like more of these, I won't even say theories. If you like more facts, you could find me on Twitter. Hristenjwinger. Same thing on Instagram Hristenjwinger. However, I only use my Instagram platform for promoting the series that I'm on. So help me Tide on CBS Thursdays at 9:00pm We've already recorded it, so you won't be able to actually find me there. But that it's a pre recorded show, It's a television show. It's not live.

[Langston Kerman]

It's good that you clarify that. Our listeners don't always. They don't know. They're not.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Yeah. You know there are shows that are taped in front of a live studio audience. This is not one of them.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, nobody's gonna. Nobody's gonna say woo when Tristan comes down the steps. Oh, Umar is good suit today. You know that's what they had to cut out in the edit is somebody be like, oh, I will fuck her, girl. Oh, Carl Winslow got a haircut. Them sides are lower.

[Tristan J. Winger]

And he got on the same shirt.

[Langston Kerman]

What a beautiful time the 90s were where we could just appreciate a motherfucker for like looking different than he did in the last episode.

[David Boy]

I love it. I still feel that way.

[Langston Kerman]

Fucking Eddie Winslow would come down in a different wife beater and we'd be like, God damn orange.

[David Boy]

It must be Thursday.

[Tristan J. Winger]

He come down in a wife beater in a fucking vest. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He's like, all right, I guess that's the outfit then.

[David Boy]

We're wooing.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[David Boy]

Yeah, we're wooing.

[Tristan J. Winger]

Hey, dad, I'm going on a date. Wait a minute,

[David Boy]

hold on. Enno. Damn, he called him Edo all the time.

[Langston Kerman]

Bori, you want to tell the people

[David Boy]

where they can find you cool guy jokes87 on Instagram? All my dates will be up there. I'm getting a new website, so we'll get it together.

[Langston Kerman]

Hell yeah. Hold out for that new website. And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman on Instagram. And April 15, come to the mic drop up in San Diego. And April 28th and 29th, you can come to the Comedy Attic in Bloomington. I would love to see you at either. And as always, if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, your own drops, if you want to write us about how irresponsible we are for letting this brilliant mind spit hard important facts at your heads, you can send all of that to mymamapodmail.com otherwise that's it. Bye bitch. Stay off the damn weed.

[David Boy]

The government growing babies microchips in your anus.

[Langston Kerman]

All koala bears are racist.

[David Boy]

The ozone layer owes me money for sure.

[Langston Kerman]

She's been in tur stuff.

[David Boy]

Y' all can't tell me nothing.

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[Martha Stewart]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Tristan J. Winger]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Tristan J. Winger]

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