Uncle Ruckus' Favorite Conspiracy Theories with (Gary Anthony Williams)

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me

Episode: "Uncle Ruckus' Favorite Conspiracy Theories"

Guest: Gary Anthony Williams
Date: February 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode of My Momma Told Me, hosts Langston Kerman and David Gborie are joined by the multitalented Gary Anthony Williams. Renowned for his voice work as Uncle Ruckus on The Boondocks and as a prolific actor and comedian, Williams dives into the world of Black conspiracy theories, both silly and sinister. Despite being cast as a legendary conspiracy theorist on TV, Williams himself is a skeptic, bringing a science-rooted viewpoint to the show. The trio unpacks Hollywood legends, cultural truisms, and the absurdities (and truths) behind common Black conspiracies—while keeping the room full of laughter.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Banter, Childhood Folklore, and Peer Pressure

(03:51–05:22)

• Ouija Boards & Candyman: The trio reminisces on childhood dares involving Ouija boards, Candyman rituals, and the power of groupthink among kids.
  • Langston: “We’ve been playing N64 all day… Then somebody goes, ‘Hey, we should play Candyman.’ And who am I to be like, no, fellas, we can’t introduce this curse into our lives.” (04:23)
• Rails & Pennies: Discussing dangerously putting pennies on railroad tracks — another piece of urban folklore.

2. Gary’s Relationship with Conspiracy Theories

(09:00–10:07)

• Skepticism and Science: Gary openly declares a lack of belief in most conspiracy theories, preferring science-based explanations.
• Hollywood Rumors: Langston brings up the infamous “Pink Mafia” rumor—the idea that Black men in Hollywood must “associate with queerness or put on a dress” to succeed.
  • Langston: “There were constantly conspiracy theories…like, becoming successful in Hollywood… you have to associate yourself with queerness or put on a dress in order to achieve greatness?” (09:45)
  • Gary: “I didn’t have to. There are choices you can make… but this is not conspiracy, this is a rapper thing about gayness.” (10:07)
• Behind the Scenes in Entertainment: Gary recounts Erykah Badu hiring him and Cedric Yarbrough to write comedy bits, leading to an eye-opening experience meeting industry insiders. He points out the hypocrisy of rappers performing heteronormative identities despite much of their team (e.g., stylists) being openly gay.
  • Gary: “They all have a gay team. And then I hear them rapping the opposite of that…It’s like, shut…” (11:49)

3. Sexual Dynamics & the Casting Couch in Hollywood

(14:41–16:22)

• Billy Dee Williams Anecdote: Gary shares a tongue-in-cheek, yet telling, story about working with Billy Dee Williams, who joked about the realness of having had to sleep with women on the casting couch for roles.
  • Billy Dee (via Gary): “I can’t tell you how many times I had to sleep with someone for a job…all these women, all these female casting directors.” (15:15)
  • The group discusses the contrast between an “abundance mindset” and a “scarcity mindset” regarding sex, riffing self-deprecatingly about their own lack of “casting couch” energy.

4. Comedy Styles: Improv vs. Stand-Up

(19:27–21:42)

• Comedic Timing: They agree shutting off the comedian’s “faucet” is crucial for good comedy; you can’t always be “on.”
• Improv People Have Real Lives: David notes that improv comedians tend to have actual families and supportive communities, while stand-ups are more often chaotic and, as Langston jokes, “aspiring deadbeat dads.”
• Parental Relationships: The group explores how their kids see (or ignore) their creative careers, with Gary sharing his son’s late-in-life realization of his father’s fame as Uncle Ruckus.

5. Uncle Ruckus’ Pop Culture Surge

(22:41–23:13)

• Modern Memes: Gary reveals Uncle Ruckus is more popular than ever among younger generations thanks to TikTok/Instagram. 
  • Gary: “Now with TikTok and Instagram… that character of Uncle Ruckus is hotter than it was when I was originally doing it. That’s nuts.” (23:09)

6. Conspiracies: Hip-Hop, the Music Industry, and Social Engineering

(27:50–31:15)

• “The Industry is Out to Get Us” Theory: Langston summarizes a conspiracy that the music industry intentionally shifted hip-hop towards violence to benefit private prisons and stoke Black community destruction.
  • Langston: “By introducing violence into a community… we can increase policing and then use that policing to feed violence.” (30:08)
  • Gary’s Response:
    • “Where I came from, man, in the Deep South, it was a sundown kind of town... So you didn’t have to put rap music into a community. You just did it.” (30:19)
  • The group agrees that the means of oppression don’t require subtlety—just action.

7. Riff: White Women, Heckling, and Social Taboos

(32:12–34:43)

• Hecklers at Shows: The hosts and guest roast “white women who heckle,” relating it to never having experienced social consequences. Gary shares a secret theory from a white friend: the boldness comes from “never being hit in the face.”
  • Gary (quoting his friend): “She doesn’t understand because she has never been hit in the face before for saying stuff. That... the lack of threat of violence 100% is what keeps that strong.” (33:56)
  • Langston ties this to the “motherfuckers running the country who've never been hit in the face.” (34:16)
• Imagining 'White Fight Club': They riff on the idea of starting a fight club for white women.

8. Chemtrails & Old Wives’ Tales

(39:00–40:10)

• Chemtrails Skepticism: Gary recalls friends blaming chemtrails (called “danger dust”) for COVID and wildfires, but remains unmoved.
• Southern Sayings: He shares the folk tale that “when it rains and the sun is shining, the devil is beating his wife,” and recounts as a child literally trying to dig to hell to stop the beating.
  • Gary: “You’re supposed to take a pin, stick it in the ground, put your ear to it, and you can hear the devil beating his wife.” (40:36)

9. Listener Voicemail: "U-Pick" Farms Are a Scam

(47:25–49:48)

• A listener complains about being charged for picking their own apples at a farm, saying the apples were worse than supermarket ones.
• Gary strongly disagrees: “Any apple, a fresh apple off a tree is going to taste better…They have to put wax and junk on them [store apples].” (49:03)
• Gary, who grew up “raising [his] own food,” shares stories of slaughtering animals for sustenance, not sport. This leads to a tangent about knowing how to process meat and the ethics of consuming animals.

10. Eating Horse, Cannibalism, and Survival Scenarios

(53:59–57:55)

• Horse Meat Stories: Langston describes being tricked into eating raw horse in Japan, much to the delight of onlooking Japanese businessmen.
• Survival Cannibalism: A darkly comic discussion about what body parts they’d eat first if forced to consume their spouses in a survival situation.
  • Langston: “I think I’m going titty, but that’s just because I’m a fan.” (57:04)
  • Gary: “A booty. Oh, totally… I’ve eaten the booty first, like who? That’s in the Bible.” (57:27)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

1. “We dive deep, deep into the pockets of Black conspiracy theories and we don’t prove a motherfucking thing.”
   — Langston Kerman (05:55)

2. “I never had to sleep with anybody—for a job. But I do remember…I was doing a movie with Billy Dee [Williams], and I was like, ‘Man, I’m sick of the casting couch.’ He was like, ‘I can’t tell you how many times I had to sleep with someone for a job—All these women! All these female casting directors.’”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (15:15)

3. “They all have a gay team. And then I hear them rapping the opposite of that…who's making your money for you right now?”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (11:49)

4. “There is a section of society who’s never told to shut up. Maybe white women need to start their own fight club.”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (35:06, paraphrased)

5. “Where I came from…in the Deep South, it was a sundown kind of town…So you didn’t have to put rap music into a community. You just did it.”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (30:19)

6. “You’re supposed to take a pin, stick it in the ground, put your ear to it, and you can hear the devil beating his wife.”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (40:36)

7. “Any apple, a fresh apple off the tree, is going to taste better than that [store] apple.”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (49:03)

8. “I've eaten the booty first, like who? That's…That's in the Bible.”
   — Gary Anthony Williams (57:32)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:51 — Bar stories, Ouija boards, and urban legends
• 09:00 — Gary's skepticism and science vs. conspiracy
• 10:07 — Hollywood’s “Pink Mafia” rumors discussed
• 11:31 — Gary’s Erykah Badu story
• 14:41 — Sex, casting couch, and Billy Dee Williams
• 19:27 — Comedy improv vs. stand-up lifestyles
• 22:41 — Uncle Ruckus' meme resurgence
• 27:50 — Hip-hop, private prisons, and social engineering conspiracies
• 32:12 — White women, heckling, and social discipline
• 39:00 — Chemtrails “danger dust” and folk sayings
• 47:25 — Listener voicemail: "U-Pick" apple farm conspiracy
• 53:59 — Eating horse, cannibalism, and survival humor

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Tone and Style

The episode is hilarious, brash, and laced with the hosts’ signature raw, unfiltered wit. Gary seamlessly matches Langston and David’s irreverence, but grounds their wild conversation with real-life observations and thoughtful, sometimes sentimental (and often gut-busting) stories. The chemistry is undeniable, with plenty of playful roast exchanges and comedic tangents steeped in Black Southern culture and showbiz lore.

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Conclusion

This My Momma Told Me episode is a raucous celebration of skepticism in the face of conspiracy, Black cultural folklore, and the unvarnished truths of entertainment. Gary Anthony Williams—part beloved Uncle Ruckus, part practical dad, part wild storyteller—takes the hosts (and listeners) on a journey through absurd myths, real social dynamics, and the eternal struggle between “stuff you heard” and what’s actually real.

Highly recommended for listeners who love:

• Laughter-infused social commentary
• Behind-the-scenes entertainment stories
• Honest and wild explorations of “what Black folks really believe”

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Guest Plugs

• Gary Anthony Williams:

  • “The Gary Anthony Williams” on TikTok
  • @garyanthonywilliams on Instagram
  • Not on X (Twitter): “Screw Elon Musk.” (61:23)

• Hosts Langston Kerman & David Gborie:

  • LangstonKerman.com for tour info
  • Coolguyjokes87 on IG (David)
  • Call in your own conspiracies to 844-LIL-MOMS
  • Merch and drops: MyMamaPodMail.com

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Essential lesson from the episode:
“You gotta try being independently wealthy. A lot of you are choosing not to do it, and that’s odd.” – Langston Kerman (46:36)

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(Summary by My Momma Told Me Podcast Summarizer.)

Transcript

[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

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[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

Hey, this is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

If you want to browse with confidence, get pre qualified online with no impact on your credit score and shop cars within your budget. From luxury cars to family rides, CarMax has options for almost every price range, including more than 25,000 cars priced under $25,000. So hey, want to get started? Just head to CarMax.com for details and get pre qualified today.

[Langston Kerman]

Wanna drive CarMax?

[David Bore]

Stop everything.

[Langston Kerman]

Put that shit down.

[David Bore]

Stop making love to your significant others. We're talking.

[Langston Kerman]

Get your penis out of your wife.

[David Bore]

And get that pussy out of your side piece.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, out of it.

[David Bore]

Into yourself. I've never had sex before.

[Langston Kerman]

We have big news.

[David Bore]

Big, huge news.

[Langston Kerman]

Unbelievable news for all of you who.

[David Bore]

Want to see us get filthy rich.

[Langston Kerman]

We are. We offering up a new opportunity. A bag of beans, if you will, that we're hopeful you believe is gonna grow into a giant beanstalk. Yeah. Magical beans. And those magical beans are the My mama Told me Patreon. I actually am 1.4% Nigerian. African. I'm a sister.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Why is that the button you press?

[David Bore]

I shouldn't have smoked.

[Langston Kerman]

We're starting a Patreon.

[David Bore]

We're starting a Patreon. It's gonna be. We're gonna have, what, four extra episodes a month?

[Langston Kerman]

It's four extra episodes. It's all kinds of games. It's watch alongs, it's grab bags.

[David Bore]

It's gonna be all mailbags, livestreams, all this stuff. Langston's nudes.

[Langston Kerman]

This is the first I'm hearing of it. But I'm not in a space to contradict. I'm desperate for you to join, so if that is what will entice you to come see us over at Patreon, please do that.

[David Bore]

Yeah. So you can go ahead and go online to ww.patreon backslash. It's on the bottom.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yep.

[David Bore]

We'll have it flashing on the screen.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we. Don't tell me likely, but yeah. But we'll figure it out. It's coming. Bye, bitch.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

So I'm at a bar with my witch friend, and there's a Ouija board. And I was like, let's mess with this board. She was like, do not do that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's how I.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She would not let me in. I'm like, I'm playing with this board. She's like, dude, don't mess with this board. So she wouldn't let me play with it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was like, you don't want to invite that in.

[David Bore]

Did you ever do Candyman because you're from Chicago?

[Langston Kerman]

I did do Candyman, but not by my choice.

[David Bore]

You were. You had to be brave once they brought you out.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You got swept up in a Candyman situation.

[David Bore]

You're hanging out with your boys.

[Langston Kerman]

We've been playing N64 all day. We're high on the. On the joys of life. And then somebody goes, hey, we should play Candyman. And who am I to be like, no, fellas, we can't introd this curse into our lives.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It's like, if your mom. If the other friends is playing Candyman, you go play Candyman. If they jump off a bridge, you.

[Langston Kerman]

Going, and yes, I am.

[David Bore]

I am going to play Candyman.

[Langston Kerman]

You know how many pennies I threw off a bridge knowing that's wrong just Cause kids around me were like, hey, we Throw pennies off the bridge.

[David Bore]

Did you ever put pennies on railroad tracks because people said it would make.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You flatten them out?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Yeah, of course I did.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

How many derailments did you cause in your time?

[David Bore]

Hundreds.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

With these pennies. Hundreds. I'm proud.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm deeply embarrassed, but I had so much fun.

[David Bore]

He's derailing from playing up my man.

[Langston Kerman]

He can't turn nothing to putting pennies on the track. What do you want from me?

[David Bore]

Government growing babies?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Microchips in your anus? All koala bears are racist.

[David Bore]

The ozone layer owes me money.

[Langston Kerman]

Marshy defending turkey stuff.

[David Bore]

Y' all can't tell me nothing. All these lonely girls wanna fuck. It's okay. Welcome, all mamas and gentiles alike, to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

[Langston Kerman]

Me the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black conspiracy.

[David Bore]

Theories and we don't prove a motherfucking thing.

[Langston Kerman]

We not helping you one bit, you dumb bitch. It's a new year and we still don't give a fuck.

[David Bore]

We are not here to help you on your journey. Call Ayanla Van Z.

[Langston Kerman]

That is who you want to call if you need help on your journey.

[David Bore]

Langston and I, we're just here to.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Bullshit.

[Langston Kerman]

Uh huh.

[David Bore]

Could you tell that was that Slim Cut Calhoun song?

[Langston Kerman]

I could not. But I gathered it from the tone shift.

[David Bore]

Okay, okay.

[Langston Kerman]

But it.

[David Bore]

Cause I was like. I should have done the. It's all right, girl. It's okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Bore]

That would have helped, huh?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

I'm trying to expand the songs I sing before we sing.

[Langston Kerman]

We do need a new palette.

[David Bore]

I think so.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Anyways, did you ever put bologna on a police car?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No. No.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No. I grew up in the south, man, and we were poor. We couldn't waste our bologna.

[David Bore]

That's fair.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

How you spend all that money on loney meat just to pull on a police car?

[David Bore]

I don't think it's all that money.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Expensive bologna meat. You laughing now? You sound like a man who could eat bologna whenever he wanted to.

[David Bore]

I'm independently wealthy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, you are. I got bolog, then slaughtered our own hogs to make our meat. Y' all out here buying baloney? Whoa.

[David Bore]

Are you from, like, a farm fart?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Y' all buying baloney?

[Langston Kerman]

God damn.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Y' all like skins out there. Oh, yeah. Throwing money away on baloney, mate. Oh, just like the white man.

[David Bore]

I had a dream this happened. We were all dressed different.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I think.

[Langston Kerman]

We haven't done any of our formalities. We haven't done a Proper introduction.

[David Bore]

No, we have to start it.

[Langston Kerman]

But I will say, I cannot think of a better way to start than that. Impre that, that, that voice.

[David Bore]

Come on.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I can't think of a worse way to start. First of all, y' all got like the United Colors of Negroton over here. Oh, we got the light skin one over here. Oh, I'm partially all right. Cause clearly there's some white lineage in my family. And then we got straight out of the jungle smelling like coconut juice. As he said, Marcus is a horrible person.

[Langston Kerman]

But I want that your work, your history in comedy. I struggle to think of somebody who has informed my pleasures. My want to be a part of this community more. A brilliant actor, writer, comedian, everything you can imagine. Gary Anthony Williams, everybody.

[David Bore]

And I ain't playing, nigga.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Who said it? Just a great guy, you know, just someone you are.

[Langston Kerman]

I think so.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Someone you just want to have a non alcoholic beer with. Come on.

[David Bore]

There's gin in this.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But, oh, no, I drink the booze. Covid taught me how to drink booze today.

[Langston Kerman]

We thought it would be a good start. To ask you a little bit about your relationship to conspiracy theory.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm not almost in the stuff we were talking about earlier.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'm not that much in the.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm more of a science based dude. So when stuff happens, like the stuff we were just talking about that I can't explain, I know that they're just stuff that I don't know and can't explain. I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, dude.

[David Bore]

Okay. You don't think people are conspiring as much as you think. There's just different levels of science.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Give me some examples and I'll tell you what I think of each one of them.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But in general, I don't believe that much in conspiracy theories.

[Langston Kerman]

You've been a part of Hollywood for a long time.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You said you moved here in 98.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I moved here in 98 and I was already working back in Atlanta before I moved out here.

[Langston Kerman]

So you've been a dude in the industry for a long time. There were constantly conspiracy theories specifically relating to, I would say black people, black men. As it relates to, like, becoming successful in Hollywood and like, what was it, the pink mafia? And the suggestion that you somehow have to associate yourself with queerness or put on a dress in order to achieve greatness?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I mean, I didn't have to. There are choices you can make. Let me just say that. And this is not conspiracy, but this is a rapper thing about gayness. Years ago, I got a phone call from my buddy. He was like, hey, man, Erykah Badu wants to have dinner with you. And I was like, what? Or that was me, twins skin tone. Safe.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And I was like, what are you talking about? She's like, no, she saw this thing you and Cedric Yarbrough did, and she wants to have dinner with you. Come to her house and blah, blah. So I go to this house, and.

[David Bore]

You'Ve already been hanging out with witches.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And. Yeah, look, I'm very comfortable with witches. Yeah, I really am. I go to her house, witches love me. Hey, I got nothing against witches. And most robots. Most of them, we'll tow them out. We'll tow them out. So I go to her. Why were we talking about. Oh, yes. I go to her house and we have dinner and everybody has fun. And then, like, the next day, she's like, hey, I'm gonna be hosting the soul train music awards. I think it was r. Naacp. One of them. One of the colored awards. And I want you and Cedric, I want you to write for me. Write all my comedy bits.

[Langston Kerman]

Amazing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Great. We get there, and then I start meeting all these people I never could have met in my life and all these rappers and what I learned about every rapper that I met. Everybody in the music industry, they all have a gay team. Every one of them have gay hair or gay wardrobe, whatever it is. They all have a gay team. And then I hear them rapping like, the opposite of that. It's like, shut.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't hate this.

[David Bore]

I see who just made.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Who's making your money for you right now.

[David Bore]

Treece bought you that hoodie.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Come on. That was. That was, like, literally eye opening to me. Okay, okay.

[David Bore]

It is your level of, like, show in that shit. And. And if I also though, Erica, if you do want to come on, we would love it.

[Langston Kerman]

And if you need somebody to write for whatever you got going on, we'll. We'll.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Erica by New Israel.

[David Bore]

Amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, dog.

[David Bore]

Come on. Like, she would be a single mom when baduism dropped. You ain't gotta tell me.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

We would be working all day, writing, like, all day, seriously. And, like, it's nighttime. It's like midnight one. Whatever. Good night. And then we woke up the next morning, she's like, oh, I have a new idea for the show. I wrote this song. I was like, when did you write a song?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Cause we just all went to bed and we just all woke up and were writing again. When did you do that? She's Like, I found time. Like, she would do crazy magic things. She was riding with my buddy in a helicopter. In a helicopter. And she asked.

[Langston Kerman]

Flying alongside.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yes. The guy, hey, can I fly? Can I fly the helicopter? And he goes, oh, you have a license? She goes, yeah. She took over the fucking controls of the helicopter and flew the helicopter. That's Erykah Badu. A helicopter's not even like a plane. The helicopter is. You're using both hands and both feet to fly this.

[Langston Kerman]

No, you have to know what the fuck you're doing.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She ain't never flown a helicopter in her life, man. That's Badu, man.

[David Bore]

We've been.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She's amazing.

[David Bore]

That is amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

That is amazing. It really upsets me that she. It is both beautiful and upsetting that those stories are going to die with her much in the way that Prince did, where, like, I think she's intentionally sort of, like, protective of, like, of her shit. And I think it's beautiful. She deserves that. But damn, I want to know everything about this lady.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You will never know all about this. She started in comedy. That's what you don't know about it. She said she did music because the music thing hit before comedy hit, or else she would have been doing comedy.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[David Bore]

She's from Dallas, right?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, she's Texas. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm glad she didn't do comedy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She's amazing. But I'm glad she. I. Yeah, she's great.

[Langston Kerman]

She's music.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She.

[Langston Kerman]

She should be a funny musician way more than she should be.

[David Bore]

She had funny songs, though.

[Langston Kerman]

She had definitely.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Even go call Tyrone. Look, Tyrone is hilarious, but you talking about the Pink Mafia, the conspiracy theories, that's how I got off track.

[Langston Kerman]

No, but I hear you that it sounds like what you're saying is a lot of this is performative, that it isn't actually a belief that people hold. It's more just a theory that is like a way to engage an audience kind of thing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I think so. I never had to sleep with anybody there to somebody gay to get a job. But I do remember one time I might cancel. What's his name? What's his name?

[David Bore]

I gotta rethink a strategy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, no, no, you can't. Oh, God. What's his will? Dang, dang, dang, dang. Handsome actor. Mahogany Morris Chestnut. No, no. Oh, oh. Lando Calrissian.

[David Bore]

Oh, Billy Dee Williams.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Billy Dee Williams.

[Langston Kerman]

Billy Dee, our hero.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was doing a movie with Billy Dee one time and I was fucking around. I was like, man, I'm sick of Casting couch. He was like, I can't tell you how many times I had to sleep with someone for a job. I was like, are you serious, Billy D. Yeah. All of these women, like, all these female casting directors were in his younger days.

[David Bore]

He's the guy from the commercial.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And he was like, that's actually fucking crazy. I can't tell you how many times I had to sleep with someone for a job. Like, what? That's real.

[Langston Kerman]

That's so cool.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I would have had back in the day before I was, you know, hooked up with a dog.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Like, yes, let's sleep with me for this job. Every man wants to get slept with.

[Langston Kerman]

But we talk about this all the time, that there is something. There's something in his character that made it so that he had the strength to know, to do that. And unfortunately, you, me, all three of us, we ain't got that energy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No. We ain't have that. Look, ain't nobody.

[Langston Kerman]

You do. You do. But it's more than trying to sleep.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

With me for a job. They will say, sir, if you stop trying to sleep with us, we will.

[David Bore]

Give you the job, which is its own power.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You couldn't be more talented. Unlike when the government pays farmers not to grow corn, they're like, we will pay you to not come on to us for this trip.

[David Bore]

You like the sugar industry?

[Langston Kerman]

We gotta put these frogs down. Let's introduce an invasive species to make this go away.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I do think some people just have that mindset where they're like, no, I can flip this into.

[David Bore]

And that's the problem. I don't have an abundance mindset when it comes to sex. I have a scarcity mindset.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we're almost running out all the time. Yeah.

[David Bore]

Yeah. I think it's. I'm worried more about.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait a minute.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

What's going on, guys? What's that?

[Langston Kerman]

We're both married men, so we're not.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, same here.

[Langston Kerman]

We're not doing anything. But.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No. Yeah. Let's say the old. Yeah.

[David Bore]

When I was in it. When I was in it. Yeah. I don't know. I just always treated it like I was never one of those guys that, like, put it everywhere.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, me either. Yeah.

[David Bore]

I was always like, thank you so much.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh. I was always a nerd and a shy nerd. Like, I was shy my whole life, so I didn't know what I was doing.

[David Bore]

I was boisterous but not dick confident. I was like. I just was really good at talking.

[Langston Kerman]

Big in a room, in a gym. Generic Sense.

[David Bore]

And then you get it there and then you're like, oh, oh, you're still trying to make jokes.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

You know how many times like, it's not that funny when they're naked. Any. You know what I mean?

[Langston Kerman]

You can't be like, oh, no more bits.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's a good joke. Women love that.

[David Bore]

You know what it doesn't make you do is orgasm.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It does not. No, no, no.

[David Bore]

You have to actually put in some work for that.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm going to have to ask. I'm going to go down my list. List of the few women that I've ever slept with in my life and just knock, knock that time. Remember that knock knock joke when we was making love?

[Langston Kerman]

I knocked on your. You said who said?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You said who.

[David Bore]

That sometimes you put it in the ocean. You say, I hear Newport Beach.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

See there now. Every woman would love that.

[David Bore]

That's not true.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Every woman would love that. I really appreciate the vagina echoes. Every woman would love to hear.

[David Bore]

Yeah, no, hello.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, that might not be good.

[David Bore]

No, no, no, that's the. It's there. Is it too funny for getting laid? I think people. People. Yeah, Yeah, I do think so. I think there are some people who are like. And it's not always comedians, but I think there are some people who are so committed to what is funny and what is not.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, that's the thing that they get themselves out. You gotta know how to read the room.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's an on off switch more than it is like too funny. I think you can be as funny as you want to be.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You just got to know when to stop.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Now we're kissing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You got to know when to stop. Yeah, now we're kissing.

[David Bore]

Now we're kissing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But you can still talk and kiss. You can tell a joke while you kissing.

[David Bore]

That's true.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. It's knowing when to stop. Like that's just timing. That's reading the room, that's reading the situation. That's any comedian.

[Langston Kerman]

And I do think that there. We don't often give credit enough to how important shutting the faucet off is to comedy. That comedy is not just go, go, go, go, go, 100 jokes every second. It's like, nah, be a human being so that you can lure me into a security that then makes the next thing you say so fucking funny.

[David Bore]

100%. Because if people are just punching, it's so tedious. That's why it's hard to hang out with stand up sometimes where it's like.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Especially when they're trying out their routine. I do improv comedy and then I.

[David Bore]

Used to and I feel no way about that. And that's gross.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Wow. You really like literally. And I say literally now because I've been to Canada. You literally just grew in front of my eyes. It's amazing.

[Langston Kerman]

It's really big.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I do remember though, hanging out with standups and like after their show, they are always trying to try their jokes out on you and that was very unpleasant.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a bummer.

[David Bore]

After the show, before the show. Yeah, I don't like that during the.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Show, working their bits.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it really is a bummer. And especially once you've been doing it long enough that you can see the bit coming from the second it starts.

[David Bore]

From the way they say something.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. It's worse to me though when I'm already in the middle of like, oh crap, we're in the middle of. We're in the middle of your bit. You snuck up. You bit snuck up and got me.

[Langston Kerman]

I actually was engaged in a conversation.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Thought we were bonding because one thing.

[David Bore]

About, I will say about improvs and this always used to make me kind of jealous. In the early days, improv's always had more real lives than standups. Like you remember. Like I remember cause like when I first started there was a lot of like you do, they'd have like a stand up host, the improv show or whatever. And I even did improv for a little bit. But improv shows would be like, their friends and family are here. Their community came out to support them. And then standup shows are just like, we got these guys who were smoking cigarettes out front to come in. Maybe you can convince them to.

[Langston Kerman]

People in improv are like in committed relationships. They're like figuring their lives out.

[David Bore]

They have children they talk to like improv. Like how many deadbeat dad stand ups?

[Langston Kerman]

You know most of them.

[David Bore]

Come on, baby.

[Langston Kerman]

Trying to get there, y'.

[David Bore]

All.

[Langston Kerman]

As soon as I can.

[David Bore]

He's on the aspiring deadbeat dad.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

How many. How many kids do you have?

[Langston Kerman]

Two kids.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And you care for them?

[Langston Kerman]

I care for them.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That don't sound right. That. That does not sound correct. I guarantee neither. Your nappy hair children know where the hell you is right now. What your daddy do? I don't know. I never seen him.

[Langston Kerman]

I never seen him.

[David Bore]

Wait, do your kids know what you do? Well, not the older Kenzie. Does she know?

[Langston Kerman]

Like she knows that sometimes I'm on tv.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

She doesn't quite understand why and she's not Interested in any of the programs I'm involved in. Thank you.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That was my kid for all his life.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

He didn't like anything you read.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He just didn't want.

[David Bore]

He didn't.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He doesn't watch TV to this day. No, that's not me. That was him, like, so he never. He never cared what I did or. He didn't watch any of the shows I was on.

[Langston Kerman]

He won't even, like. He might.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He was like, with the Boondocks. I didn't even know that it was still popular until he was either first year of college or late in high school. He was like, hey, you know, all the kids know Uncle Ruckus, right? He's like, what are you talking about? He's like, they know it. They know the Boondocks. They all watch it. They know Uncle Ruckus. Yeah, man, I didn't know it, but he didn't. He never watched it with me.

[Langston Kerman]

No. It's a generational.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Well, now with TikTok and Instagram, like, it's.

[David Bore]

It's.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That character of Uncle Ruckus is hotter than it was when I was originally doing it. That's nuts.

[David Bore]

Really.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I mean, man, I make all this money doing Uncle Ruckus on the weekend, bro. I got all this Ruckus money. For real, though. Seriously. Hey, hey, look, bruh. Hey, for real, though. Shit. Hey.

[Langston Kerman]

He's like, hey, this podcast on me, fellas. I get a point.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, Yeah. Y' all need somebody to pay this dude over here.

[David Bore]

Hey, can I tell a weird story? I don't think you even remember. I knew you were rich. Me and you did a TV show together, and we were on a table read together, and you were like, what show was it? Exploding Kittens. Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

And you were like, oh, yeah, that's why you gotta get a recording booth in your house. And I was like, that gonna make you.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You can do that for cheap.

[David Bore]

That's how you made it sound. I was in a townhome in the Valley when it happened.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. I ain't got nothing to get one in your house.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You know, my recording booth was cheap, dude.

[David Bore]

How much?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was about to have somebody build it out for me and this. This guy from out loud. Audio goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got a friend who refurbishes booths and sets them up in your house. And I call the dude. He's like, I can find you one. Find you one. This booth would have been like, 15, 20 grand. And I think I got it for $5,000. It paid for itself immediately.

[David Bore]

$5,000. Not a lot of money to us in this room. No, we all have tons of money. More than $5,000.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Look, man, you've got to invest in investing in yourself.

[David Bore]

No, you're right.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You're right. You got to invest in investing. I don't know what that means. No, I just do that word you got to invest and invest it in yourself.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think you did exactly what you needed to do you to him, exactly the way he needed to hear.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, he needs. You need some talking down too.

[Langston Kerman]

You needed somebody to talk yourself up.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

By the bootstrap and then get talked down to, then try to pick yourself up again.

[Langston Kerman]

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[David Bore]

Hey, this is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhall.

[David Bore]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[David Bore]

So when it came to getting the.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[David Bore]

Q U-E-T.com Spinquest is a free to.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Play social casino void where prohibited.

[Langston Kerman]

The visit spinquest.com for more details. So you are skeptical, I think it would be fair to say, about most conspiracy theories. Are there any that you're like, I.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Would like to give me some examples and I will tell you, if you don't mind. I will tell you if I'm skeptical or not. I can't think of one now that I go, yeah, that probably.

[David Bore]

What are our most recent episodes?

[Langston Kerman]

We've talked a lot about this. This I would say generally in the podcast of sort of like a, a masterminding of, of media consumption, specifically as it relates to like hip hop and how like hip hop made that drastic shift from sort of like the, the bibbidi bop dip, dibbity dop.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I love that it's just me, Mike and my friend.

[Langston Kerman]

Move your feet into suddenly like murder and mayhem and that being like an intentional effort on the part of the music industry to feed sort of like, you know, destruction into black communities.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, the same way. Kind of like the government introducing certain drugs into black communities, that kind of thing. But in this case the drug would be black on black hip hop violence. So is that supposedly a government introducing, like steering it that way, you're saying?

[David Bore]

I don't think we necessarily like to say names here. I think we keep it vague. It's just the general they.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, let's talk about them.

[David Bore]

They them.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Let's talk about them.

[David Bore]

It's the they them.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Uh huh.

[Langston Kerman]

There you go. I don't agree with this devil.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

So if I'm reading you right, David, the LGBT community. Don't you write community. Okay. Yeah. The LGBTQ community introduced gangster rap.

[David Bore]

Brother.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Brother. I was that what you just said.

[David Bore]

I was ripping. I was ripping. I was ripping.

[Langston Kerman]

Press the button.

[David Bore]

Well, I think I'm looking forward to cracking up.

[Langston Kerman]

See that. I hope I Can, like, you know, totally crack up.

[David Bore]

So I haven't, like, totally cracked up.

[Langston Kerman]

In a long time.

[David Bore]

We just needed a reset.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I would love to crack. I think the.

[David Bore]

The.

[Langston Kerman]

The. The group that supposedly did it was a. Basically like a. An almost Illuminati of. Of music industry executives together.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And then their point would be, what's their. What's their. What's the outcome? What's the end game?

[David Bore]

I think the idea is that it's easier to sell that to white people who consume.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it was to basically build up private prisons.

[David Bore]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

That. Like, by introducing violence into a community. That. Or a. Increased violence into a community, we can increase policing and then use that policing to feed violence.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I think if they want to do that, they just start arresting black people. I don't think you have to set up a whole. Where I came from, man, in the Deep south, it was a sundown kind of town, right?

[David Bore]

Like, what town are you from?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Fayetteville, Georgia. When it was beautifully racist. You should have seen the racism dripping from every wall. And like, my uncles, they lived up in Atlanta, where it was not like that. And then we're down in this little racist town at the time, and they were like, oh, hey, getting dark. Willie. That was my dad's name. Willie. It's getting dark. We better head back up the road. Because they knew if you were black and in Fayetteville at the time, they were going to either beat you or lock you up. The police were. So you didn't have to put rap music into a community. You just did it. Yeah, same way Trump is doing it right now. Oh, they just send out some people to drag them out of the house. You ain't got to do all that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's fair.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

They didn't put that.

[Langston Kerman]

They didn't have to release, like, a New Atlantis Morrison like album to get white people in the streets over this ice shit.

[David Bore]

They just.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Just do it.

[Langston Kerman]

They just activate.

[David Bore]

But we like Atlantis album.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, we wouldn't be mad at Atlantis.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I liked Atlantis. Martin jacket, little pill.

[David Bore]

Yeah, we all liked a good album. Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Thanks, guys, for those memories.

[David Bore]

I like it when. I like it when white ladies sing like they're running out of breath.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. I love a tired white woman.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Hey.

[David Bore]

That shit's a good time.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Then the tire.

[David Bore]

Oh, you got them white ladies. You listening? Stay out of breath. We like that.

[Langston Kerman]

Stay out of breath.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was writing a book at one point, and I've never written it down, but I have it all in my head called what I've Learned from drinking with white women. And that is.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's go.

[David Bore]

I've learned a lot.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I can't tell it all now till I get the books.

[David Bore]

You love the N word as much as us.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, they all say they. I don't think most of them do.

[David Bore]

I will say a drunk white woman is the first one to drop a slur in many situations. They go bad immediately. You ever worked a door? You ever worked a door? No, brother.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

See, but you're hanging out with the.

[David Bore]

Let a white lady not come in somewhere and see what she thinks about you real quick.

[Langston Kerman]

That does. I will say that as a comedian, when I think about, like, heckling, and specifically heckling, that derails a show. Almost always a white woman.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I will tell you that a friend of mine who is a white man, and we were talking about. And I'm not gonna say who he is because I don't want his wife mad at him. But like that you're talking about of speaking up very quickly and like it loud and in somebody's face. And he was like, she doesn't understand because she's never been hit in the face before for saying stuff. And that is all his thing. Like, men will hit other men in the face sometimes. Yes. She's not expected to be hit in the face. So she can just be as loud and boisterous and say whatever she wants to.

[David Bore]

I don't even like insinuating hitting them in the face in this conversation right now.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, no, no, no. Trust me, trust me. I.

[David Bore]

My body is tight. I think I'm going to gym.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was raised. I have a mom and a daddy. I had six sisters and two brothers. So female power was very strong in my house. So the last thing I'm about to do is try to hit a woman in the face.

[David Bore]

No, I don't think you are. I mean, even talking about.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, but.

[David Bore]

No, but what he was saying makes me nervous.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He was saying that the lack of threat of violence 100% is what keeps that strong. That you were saying about.

[Langston Kerman]

And I think that's. I think that is an unfortunate truth of the state we are all in, is that our country is now being sort of run and managed by motherfuckers who have not been hit in the face.

[David Bore]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

And I wish that they would have.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Choked Trump out when he was a baby. So Johnny's daddy should have said, shut up and go to bed.

[David Bore]

That's called motherfucking bars. You know nothing about that.

[Langston Kerman]

I think somebody should have socked him in the face in Middle school, a lot of this behavior would have been different.

[David Bore]

Well, you can come back for. Cause I think you get beat up as a man, and you've never been beat up before. That's probably ego shattering.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

But junior high school, you go back outside, somebody, they laugh at you, and then it's kind of over, bro.

[Langston Kerman]

Me and my friend ahrii got in a full fist fight playing basketball, and we hooped the next day.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I learned a lesson. He learned a lesson. I learned, unfortunately, more of the lesson. But that's all right.

[David Bore]

That's okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Ari's strong. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

He was bigger than me.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's okay. He's a big, strong guy. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

We went and played ball. I learned how to behave.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I do think that there's a section of society who never. Who's never told to shut up.

[David Bore]

Yeah. Maybe we need to, like, white ladies need to start their own fight club.

[Langston Kerman]

I like this.

[David Bore]

White fight club.

[Langston Kerman]

White fight club.

[David Bore]

White fight club.

[Langston Kerman]

You're losing it. Come on, man. Stay focused.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Stay focused.

[David Bore]

Don't look at me. Don't look at me.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, I think.

[David Bore]

And then we sell tickets, and that's how we get the power back, I think.

[Langston Kerman]

Gentlemen, we've got an industry to build together, man.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

We do.

[Langston Kerman]

Let's take a break. Let's do some brainstorming off camera.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I hope somebody has a yellow legal pad. I think best when there's a yellow legal pad. That's better.

[David Bore]

That's better.

[Langston Kerman]

We're gonna get one of those, I promise.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

More. Gary Anthony Williams. More. My mama told.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Hey.

[David Bore]

This is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[David Bore]

As athletes, our lives are about having.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[David Bore]

So when it came to getting the.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.

[David Bore]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And you learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with spinquest, where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash prizes. New users $30 coin packs are on sale for [e-mail] SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited.

[Langston Kerman]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[David Bore]

Did you know that parents rank teaching.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Financial literacy as the toughest life skill?

[Langston Kerman]

That's where Greenlight comes in. The debit card and money app made.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

For families with greenlight, you can send.

[David Bore]

Money to kids quickly, set up chores.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[Langston Kerman]

Go ahead, man. Break it down.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

When you really break it down. We're just two honks and a Negro serving the Lord. We're just two honks and a Negro singing our song.

[David Bore]

And I have no feelings about that. We're back. I have nothing to unpack there.

[Langston Kerman]

We're still here with Gary Anthony Williams. We're talking conspiracy theories.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

And the lies, the trickery behind a lot of them.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I might be too hard in on science, y'. All. I might be too hard.

[David Bore]

I think that's probably good.

[Langston Kerman]

I think we need more people who actually just believe versions of facts.

[David Bore]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I'll be honest, I'm cynical and my brain is rotten. So it gives me hope that there are still people out here who are.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Like, no, I believe. So I might be ignorant. I might be ignorant, but I don't. I'm too hard on science to believe a lot of. I used to have, like, a friend with the chemtrails, and then my wife started calling it Danger dust. Ooh, Gary, watch out. This Danger Dust, like, messing with it. Cause, like, for her, it's like chemtrails had caused Covid and it caused the forest fires and everything. I was like, come on. Well.

[David Bore]

Cause you know what's true, too, is, like, I've seen friends lose it to conspiracy theories. Never seen somebody lose it to science.

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Bore]

You know what I'm saying? Like, I've had friends get deeper and deeper into conspiracy theories where they're like, you can't listen to amigos. Cause I've never seen somebody be like, you know, I was reading about photosynthesis and put that pork down or whatever. Like I never and nobody. I've never seen that happen before.

[Langston Kerman]

I've spent so much time negotiating with. With a hollow earth.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not healthy. That's not good for my, my, my well being or my children's well being. And it's nice to know that there's somebody who's just like, it is full.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I might be wrong.

[Langston Kerman]

It's filled to the brim, the earth.

[David Bore]

I think it's full.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I will tell you that. So like I said, I grew up down south and then there's a lot of. It's not conspiracy theory. I don't know. What would you call this? But do you know the thing of when it's raining and the sun is shining? Do you know what that means?

[David Bore]

The devil's beating his wife.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

The devil is beating his wife. Right. So me and my best friend Fry, it was raining, sun was shining, like, oh, the devil's beating his wife.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

And you're supposed to be able to take a pin, stick it in the ground, put your ear to it, and you can hear the devil beating his wife.

[Langston Kerman]

Jesus Christ.

[David Bore]

This is new. I know.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know you could access it.

[David Bore]

Why would you want to do that? Why?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's the.

[David Bore]

Aren't you curious? What? No, I'm not.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Come with me and you'll be in.

[David Bore]

A well as somebody imagination. I don't think that's what it's gonna sound like. It's gonna be like, get over here, Virginia.

[Langston Kerman]

As they ask somebody who's heard somebody beat their wife.

[David Bore]

It ain't.

[Langston Kerman]

It's not.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Okay, here's what we don't know. We don't. She might be beating him back. No, no. She may have the upper hand.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

She may have the upper hand.

[David Bore]

Maybe he's little.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Maybe he's literally.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

If you knew anything about the devil.

[David Bore]

It would be cool if the devil was a little guy with a huge wife. Yeah, yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

If thing about the devil. Yeah. It's like a southerner, like little skinny man with big old women.

[David Bore]

Right, right. I'm like that. That makes me like. That kind of makes me like the devil.

[Langston Kerman]

It makes the devil the way he behaves. Make a lot more sense if he's a little bit.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He's been put down upon.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Life has been hard on the devil.

[David Bore]

He's henpecked at home. You think she lets him talk to people?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, she.

[David Bore]

You think she lets him talk to her like this?

[Langston Kerman]

Satan, hang up the phone. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of that, you know what I mean? Losing of her the trash.

[David Bore]

She calls him Lucy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

To imagine.

[David Bore]

Lucy ain't nobody. That's her kind of a tough sister.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But that's kind of a tough name, though, Lucy. Like, if dudes were calling me Lucy. What's up, Lucy? Yeah, it's.

[David Bore]

But if you're little too, it might be different. It's tough.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You want.

[Langston Kerman]

You want to be the right size.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

For Lucy, you gotta.

[David Bore]

You gotta fill out that wife beater. No pun intended.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, too soon.

[David Bore]

That was fair.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

So me and my friend Fry, we didn't have a pen, so we were like, seriously, let's dig our way to hell and see what's going on. And this is not a joke, brother. This is not a joke.

[David Bore]

This is crazy. This is real.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

We start digging in the mud, dude. And it's from Georgia, so it's red clay. And that stuff does not come out of your clothes. And we were poor. Poor, poor, poor, poor. So you get a set of clothes you're not getting. So we get covered in mud, and before we realize, oh, we're in trouble, I was like, we're gonna get our asses with me. So I walk home, he goes home, I walk in the house.

[Langston Kerman]

My mom's like, get in that bathtub right now.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He done messed up your clothes. And then his mama calls, and I was like, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get a whooping. But then I thought, wait. And she was like, what were you thinking? I was like, well, it was raining. The devil's beating his wife. Like, but what were you doing? Like, we were trying to dig the hell so we could stop the devil from beating his wife.

[David Bore]

Okay?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Because, like, who. What person is gonna go, you were trying to stop someone from hitting his wife? I'm gonna now whoop you. That's. No. Oh, she wasn't gonna. She didn't whoop me up.

[Langston Kerman]

Sir, my hat's off to you.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm gonna write a kid's book of how to get out of trouble.

[David Bore]

Yeah, mostly say you were going to.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Hell to save the example. I was going to save a lady in hell.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what's crazy about that story? He was 37 years old when that happened.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

38, buddy. 38. My son was 38 years old. Still getting whooped. Yeah, I deserve. I deserved it.

[David Bore]

No, that was a go. You were like, we were just worried.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's a brilliant.

[Langston Kerman]

That is a brilliant move.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was smart at that age, man. That may be the only ass weapon I ever got out of.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Hey. Want to know?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's all I need. I just needed one.

[Langston Kerman]

I never got out of any.

[David Bore]

So no, I don't think I ever negotiated my way out of a. Nope. I would see em coming a long ways away too. Sometimes you would put in motion effects where you were like, this is gonna get my ass beat on Sunday.

[Langston Kerman]

I had a. When I would go to like my summer program for childcare, I was allowed to go by myself. I could ride my bike to the program, but I had to call my mom when I got there. I had to request from the staff, can I use the phone so I can call my mom and assure her that I made it? And like, like four days in a row, I just started playing basketball.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. And she kept telling me, did you forget?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, my friends are outside. They're already hooping.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was in dangerous trouble.

[David Bore]

No summer day camp. As soon as you get in there, you in there. Like, was it at Boys and Girls Club? I used to. Damn, man. I used to go, they got breakfast. People are telling you what happened last night. Now you're playing ping pong. I understand.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You just tell you what happened this sudden. You play ping pong?

[Langston Kerman]

No.

[David Bore]

The Boys and Girls Club in the morning is. That's a good time.

[Langston Kerman]

I was already in it and I would just forget. But she would tell me, I am going to beat you the next time you don't call me. And I didn't. And I had to spend that whole day because eventually I did remember like an hour later. And I called and she was like, you know, I'm gonna beat you when I get. When you get home. And then I just had to have that in my head for the whole time.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It takes a lot to go, okay. Like if you were mad at your child in the moment and your rage got to you and you hit your child.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's one thing which shouldn't be done, by the way. But when somebody goes, you know what? At 3 o' clock when you get home, I'm going to hit you.

[David Bore]

She had to switch her temperament.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's conniving.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Because she was probably having a great day at 2:30. You know, Gary, this isn't a Story.

[Langston Kerman]

About my mother being a hero. It's a story. Story about fear.

[David Bore]

I definitely got.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I thought it was a human.

[David Bore]

Did you ever have, like, people over and you knew you were gonna get your ass beat after they left?

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely.

[David Bore]

And you're like, damn, I'm the most charming person in the world. She's laughing. You're like, I might not get my ass beat tonight.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. You talk too much.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

You said something crazy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

And you just know this energy is gonna change as soon as that door shuts.

[David Bore]

As soon as that door shuts.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's a little too conniving. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I don't love it.

[David Bore]

No. And then you become a stand up comedian and become independent.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, you gotta get independently wealthy. Guys. If I could tell any of you, you gotta get independently wealthy. It's just something you should do.

[Langston Kerman]

You gotta try it. I think a lot of you are choosing not to do it, and that's odd.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it's mindset. It's your mindset.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Just stop being poor.

[David Bore]

There's no extenuating circumstances. You're a loser.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Come on. Nothing else could happen in your life. Life.

[Langston Kerman]

We.

[David Bore]

You're ugly.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

You dress like shit. And you're poor.

[Langston Kerman]

Give us $200, Gary. We're going to listen to a voicemail. We. We often get voicemails from our. Our. Our dear supporters.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, excellent.

[Langston Kerman]

Our little mamas, as they affectionately know themselves. And they send us voicemails of their own conspiracies. And we're going to listen to one together. Feel free to call for. To stop at any time if you have to. Thoughts? Okay, let's do the. The apple one, please.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yo, I gotta be nasty. Hey, how y' all doing? Long time listener, proud little mama. My conspiracy theory is that any farm where you have to pay and go to pick up your own produce is a scam. I'm talking like, apple picking, pumpkin patches, all that. Like, I had a group of friends that drove me outside Philly to go, you know, like, take pictures at an apple orchard one day in the fall. Dawn. We paid like, $30 to get in. And you don't even get the apples for free after you get in. Hey. And then put in the labor to pick your own apples. And then you pay for the apples after you go through the whole. I paid like $60 at this place, and all I had to show for it were muddy Tim's and, like, apples that are way, way worse than what you would get at, like, a Safeway. You shouldn't wear GMOs.

[Langston Kerman]

Or nothing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

So. So, yeah, I'm sorry for rambling. Can we pause him for one. One. One second? All right, bye.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, well, he's done.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. That's the eternal pause.

[Langston Kerman]

And he is dead. We do let them put him down.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Once you leave the message, you're done. It's like y' all dead to me.

[David Bore]

When I. Yeah, we sent Joelle to.

[Langston Kerman]

The house, she puts them down.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm gonna have to disagree on. They're way less better than the apples you get from the Safeway. Mm. Any apple. A fresh apple off of a tree is going to taste better than that apple because they have to put wax and junk on them. All the apples that they.

[Langston Kerman]

You're saying just the transition alone means it's not good.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Like, you get a fresh apple or a fresh peach right off of it. You're not gonna find that you're talking to somebody who grew up raising their own food.

[Langston Kerman]

Right. Right.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It's not gon. Tastes as good a tomato. Yeah, man. Man, I've shot a lot of stuff in the head, bro. Damn. A lot of stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

Damn.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I would have spoke to you differently if I would have known that from the beginning.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Man, my head shooting days are over, okay? But I still have the skill.

[David Bore]

Do you ever get to itching? Like, you walk by a petting zoo and you're like, these hands.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I could chop that rabbit behind the head right now. Break his neck, slid him down, cut off. I can teach you how to dress a hog, a rabbit, all of that stuff.

[David Bore]

I respect a man who. I respect it when people are down to kill animals. And maybe that says something about me.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

See, I don't do it anymore, though.

[David Bore]

But you know how.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I know exactly how.

[David Bore]

That's my big worry is that, like, the lights cut off tomorrow, and then I'm face.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I got.

[David Bore]

Let's say I kill a pig.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Wait a minute. Hold on. You just saying the lights are off. That's it. They might be on in four to five minutes, but you immediately going to go into.

[David Bore]

I have to protect my. This house.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He.

[Langston Kerman]

He has two cats and a dog. One of them's going to die.

[David Bore]

I'm going to teach them to kill with me. Yeah, but I'm just saying what happens.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

If you show a man. If you teach a man to kill. I don't remember how you teach a cat to sp.

[David Bore]

A hog. She'll kill you in your sleep.

[Langston Kerman]

In your sleep and dress it.

[David Bore]

But that's what I'm worried about is what if a plane crash. I don't know, man. Some situation where I kill an animal, I don't know what to do now. I know you got, like, cut the stomach open, pull the guts out, like, lay it kind of, and then, like, skin. I just don't. I want to be able to get to the meat.

[Langston Kerman]

I will say that I think the. There is a type of pervert who wants to murder rhinos just for the sake of murdering rhinos.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. There are people who want to kill.

[Langston Kerman]

Something that has ruined it for people who were living off of the land in a way.

[David Bore]

And that's what I mean. I'm not talking about rhino freaks. I'm talking. I don't think.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I think. I think it's a real bummer that people made the slaughtering of animals for necessity into game, right? Which is like, this shit ain't a game, bro. That was a fucking, like, being. It existed.

[David Bore]

But I do think it's also a bummer that we have the distance from our food that I can go to the store and eat, buy a meat that I couldn't. I don't know how to get you out.

[Langston Kerman]

You should have to look in animal space.

[David Bore]

I think I would have. I think I have the heart to kill the animal.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Animal. Yeah.

[David Bore]

I mean, the skill to prepare it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I could take it out.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't. I don't think I could take it out.

[David Bore]

Have you ever killed an animal? No, I haven't killed a big ant. I kill, like, a bunch of chickens and fish and stuff.

[Langston Kerman]

Whoa. You swing them?

[David Bore]

No, man. So they used to make fun of.

[Langston Kerman]

Isn't that what you do?

[David Bore]

Some people do.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

My auntie.

[David Bore]

My auntie would do it like that. But then, like in Sierra Leone, they were making fun of me because they were like, ah, he's scared. Blah, blah, blah. So the way they taught me to do it is you pin the wings back and grab the head and kind of pull it back. And then we had this, like, old rusty butcher knife. I have to, like, saw through it and then. But then when you pull the head off, because it's like the spine's like.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Beautiful story.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they made me do that every day for a while till you're just.

[Langston Kerman]

Like, oh, okay, yeah, I know, I know I can do this.

[David Bore]

But I didn't have to pluck it because that's what women do.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah, that was a weird thing, like. Yeah, like, don't pluck it. That's gay. Yeah, yeah, that was. That was that thing. My grandmama and the other Ladies were sitting around plucking the chicken. Yeah. Yeah.

[David Bore]

But they mostly just made me do it. Cause they thought that it was funny to them.

[Langston Kerman]

Because why would you not do it as well as they do it?

[David Bore]

But then I got pretty fine at it pretty good. I got you.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Damn.

[David Bore]

But they didn't even do that snapping thing. They made me do it the most.

[Langston Kerman]

The most gruesome way possible.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But the ring in the neck, that is also. It's brutal because then the body part is still running around. And people talk about chickens with their heads cut off. The chickens with their heads dangling on the ground while they're dead. That's scarier than a chicken with this or that.

[David Bore]

Nobody ever talks about that little spine popping out. That shit is.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Nobody talks about that.

[Langston Kerman]

Nobody talks about.

[David Bore]

And you just got your foot on it, and it's just like.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Nobody talks about that. What?

[David Bore]

You gonna die.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's what kids should be talking about. We.

[David Bore]

We have kids killing these chickens.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

The government is gonna start putting out these rap albums about chicken killing.

[David Bore]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

I think they need to start leaving the spine in on the chickens at Ralph.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Spine in, like bone in something. Spine in.

[Langston Kerman]

This is spine in chicken. That means it's fresher. It's a little more new than the other chicken. And it might move.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Man. I don't even. I literally don't eat meat anymore at all.

[David Bore]

Really.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I haven't eaten meat since the 80s. 80s. Seven 80s. Oh, wow. Wow.

[David Bore]

That's when I came in.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I had enough. You were just being born.

[David Bore]

Yes.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

When I came in eating meat. To celebrate that.

[David Bore]

I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And I carried the torch. You.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

For.

[David Bore]

For you.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Thank you, brother.

[David Bore]

I had horse not two months ago, dude.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Was it still walking around?

[David Bore]

No, no, no.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You could take a bite.

[Langston Kerman]

To be Japan, right?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. That's where I ate it.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I. I ate it because you had told me about it, and I was like, Langston said it wasn't that bad.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

How'd you feel?

[David Bore]

All right. Me and my brother were drinking. We was like. It was a.

[Langston Kerman]

It's whatever.

[David Bore]

Yeah, because you were saying the Japanese businessman made you do it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. My wife and I were in Japan with friends. Friends. And we were at an izakaya hanging out. And these Japanese businessmen had seared horse on, basically, like sashimi. Like, it's raw horse, essentially. And they had finished their meal, but they saw four black people sit down next to them and immediately got excited. Like, we about to see what happens when we feed them raw horse. And me and my homie and my wife and his partner were all eating, but we all got different cuts of it. And my wife got horse neck, which is apparently way chewier than a lot.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Of muscles in there. Like a lot of strong muscles.

[Langston Kerman]

So everybody else takes their shit down. We laugh.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Ha ha.

[Langston Kerman]

The Japanese businessmen are a little disappointed that this isn't as thrilling as they thought it would be. And then my wife eats her piece and she starts chewing it and she starts gagging in her mouth. And I swear to God, these Japanese businessmen go the greatest day of their.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Life.

[Langston Kerman]

As she's like, gagging on.

[David Bore]

Do the anime laugh, though.

[Langston Kerman]

No, no, no.

[David Bore]

Okay, okay, okay. That is greatest dick, because I was gonna do it.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But again, you're easily tricked. You got tricked into playing Candyman?

[Langston Kerman]

Absolutely.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

You get tricked easily eating horse.

[Langston Kerman]

If you present it as a reasonable option, I'll participate.

[David Bore]

I eat any animal.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I don't feel.

[David Bore]

No way.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I was in Iceland and they eat a lot of horse over there, but they also have. Have the famous Icelandic horses that are like world famous. Yeah. And then they have eaten horses and I couldn't tell, like, oh, what's the eating horse and what's the ride then? Do you just ride it till it's tired and it's like.

[David Bore]

Yeah, I think, I think.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

I think it's up to you if it's a riding ornate.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I bet they. I bet they pretend like they have rules about it, but I bet there's a lot of riding horses that have been eating.

[David Bore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It wasn't that good.

[David Bore]

Good, though. To me.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it wasn't something I would go back for it. It was just the thing that I was like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, I'm glad I had that.

[David Bore]

Now I know what horse is like.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

What'S the most tasty part of. Probably like the ham area. Most stuff is like butt area. Yeah, the flank butt, where the fat is.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I think there's a reason people, like.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

If you were going to. You were talking about something, the lights go out. The lights go out, your wife is still alive. But if you had to eat. Are you going to start face first?

[David Bore]

I'm going animals first. This is crazy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, no, they all.

[Langston Kerman]

You started the face.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Animals ran away. I'm asking, I'm asking where he would.

[Langston Kerman]

Start starting at the faces.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But do you start. No, no, I don't start at the face.

[David Bore]

What are you doing?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm just curious as to what would you assume. What are you doing first?

[Langston Kerman]

I think I'm going titty, but that's just because I'm a fan.

[David Bore]

I'm gonna miss that stuff.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Just a second.

[David Bore]

I'm not starting with something.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I'm gonna miss that.

[Langston Kerman]

That's smart. You're right. I should pre preserve the titty. I should go for something that I. Calf. Yeah. The calf I could live without for sure.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Back in the early.

[David Bore]

I'm so glad they don't listen to this.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

In the early days of America, they ate a lot of humans.

[David Bore]

I know. I do know that.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

They would eat. They would go brain. They would crack the head open and.

[David Bore]

What part of your wife would you eat first?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

A booty.

[Langston Kerman]

A booty.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, totally. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay. You're like, I've been here before.

[David Bore]

Yeah. I've eaten the booty first. I've practiced many times.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I've eaten the booty first. Like who? That's. That's. That's in the Bible. Yeah, right there. It's in there.

[Langston Kerman]

If you really read it the way you supposed to. And a lot of y' all ain't reading your Bible.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Y' all ain't reading the Bible.

[David Bore]

No, no, no. You forget what's in the apocrypha.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Come on. You gotta read 58 of the Bible. Read page 58. You know exactly what.

[Langston Kerman]

Read some of them footnotes.

[David Bore]

Yeah, it says smack it up, flip it, rub it down.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, no.

[Langston Kerman]

Gary, I think we did it.

[David Bore]

This is great.

[Langston Kerman]

This was.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No. But we're gonna start the show. No. Oh, damn.

[Langston Kerman]

We didn't tell him.

[David Bore]

That's okay.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It don't matter.

[David Bore]

It don't matter.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It don't matter. Yeah. If you got what I got, every day's a good day.

[David Bore]

Come on. Full bank account and a belly full of booty meat.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, booty meat in the freezer. In the belly.

[David Bore]

He just buys a full half booty and then he just cuts it up.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Seriously, you would go for your wife's.

[David Bore]

I didn't say anything.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

He said titty. Said.

[Langston Kerman]

I said titty. But I do regret it.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, no.

[Langston Kerman]

Now that you said booty, booty actually makes a lot more sense. And I would miss the breast. I would miss the booty, too, but booty, at least logically.

[David Bore]

Is she alive?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, that's. I would think she's.

[Langston Kerman]

So we have to. We have to.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, that's a good question.

[Langston Kerman]

We have to kill her, dress her, and then.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

No, no, no. This is. Nobody's killing anybody here. This is all a love. This is all love. This is all love. You don't want to flank it and then no smack. No. This is all love. This is all love. Nobody's killing anybody here. Nobo. Killing anybody. She dies of natural causes as soon as the lights go out. Yep, as soon as the lights go.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't know how to get those lights back on this.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

There's no way to figure out how.

[David Bore]

To get them back on the breaker.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But you're hungry.

[David Bore]

I got a gun at the breaker. Hold up.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I gotta eat my wife. I can't tell which one is living room. I'm gonna have to eat my wife.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I gotta eat my wife. God damn y'.

[Langston Kerman]

All.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Honor. To be fair. Yeah. The lights have been out for a full minute.

[David Bore]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

It's scary.

[David Bore]

I'm so scared. I couldn't find the dog.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I could find the dog.

[David Bore]

The cats were nowhere.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

The cat is quiet. Your honor, if you ever try to eat a cat. Cats are quiet.

[Langston Kerman]

They're very quiet.

[David Bore]

Yeah. I think if I had to eat my animals, I'd probably go smallest to biggest.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. No, just in terms of appreciation, I think you would. You would go smallest.

[David Bore]

Yeah. I couldn't do that.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

But which one means the least to you? That's the one you would probably.

[Langston Kerman]

I think I know the answer and I think you're having trouble saying it.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. So you have what, two cats and a dog?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, he has a hairless cat.

[David Bore]

Not anymore. Not anymore.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Cause you ain't gotta pick no hair off of it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes, you would think so. But he actually got scammed.

[David Bore]

It grew hair. It grew hair in California, which is crazy. Had it in Denver a year and a half. No hair as soon as we got.

[Langston Kerman]

Now it has like a low Caesar cut.

[David Bore]

It's got waves, she's wavy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

That's the same thing with pot bellied pigs. There are no tiny pigs. That's a lie. That's a scam. They all grow up to be full sized hogs.

[Langston Kerman]

You just. You feed them until they get big and then nothing.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Oh, man. We've been lied to.

[Langston Kerman]

We've been lied to. And that's all I wanted to hear you say.

[David Bore]

Come on.

[Langston Kerman]

You spent this whole time telling us we weren't being lied to and we.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Just needed to hear what they were being lied to.

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you so much, city boy.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

City boy.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, we're up. Gary, could you tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Hi, my name's Gary Anthony Williams. I am a luxury to be around on the TikTok. I think on TikTok, I'm the Gary Anthony Williams. I do a lot of Ruckus stuff on TikTok Instagram. I'm Gary Anthony Williams and I ain't messing with no Twitter or X anymore.

[David Bore]

Smart man.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Screw Elon Musk.

[Langston Kerman]

Come on, that's an unhealthy place to put yourself.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I don't like that dude, man.

[David Bore]

I like that you call him Elon, like your mom's single friend.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Yeah. Also, we kind of tight, but whatever. I don't like. I don't like him. I don't like him, but we tight. I don't like him.

[Langston Kerman]

We hang out all the time, but.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

I don't like him.

[Langston Kerman]

We're sort of frenemies, me and Alon Warrior. What?

[David Bore]

You got cool guy jokes87 on Instagram.

[Langston Kerman]

That's it. Okay. Hell yeah.

[David Bore]

I'm not on tour for a while.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[David Bore]

Oh, come see us in March.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Where you gonna be?

[David Bore]

New Orleans. We're gonna be at New Orleans at Sports Champions drink. March 27th.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[David Bore]

29Th.

[Langston Kerman]

We're going to be doing the podcast. We're going to be doing standup.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

It'll.

[David Bore]

It'll be a bunch of friends of the podcast. Jamel's going to be down there. Mandel's going to be down there. Rob's going to be down there. It's going to be good.

[Langston Kerman]

And you can see me on. Continuing on the Aspiring Deadbeat Tour. I. I continue to. To visit cities near you. I'm going to be. I'm going to be in Kentucky. I'm going to be.

[David Bore]

Oh, you're doing Commonwealth, right?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be a lot of places. Dallas, I got coming up. There's a bunch of places. It's all on my website, LangstonKerman.com and if you want to follow us, if you want to send us your own drops, your own conspiracies, if you want to tell us what your cat tastes like, send it all to mymamapodmail.com give us a call at 844-lil-moms. We would love to hear from you. And most importantly, buy the merch. Buy yourself something nice. Buy my. I actually am 1.4% Nigerian. African. I'm a sister. Okay. My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Podcast, created and hosted by Langston Kearney, co hosted by David.

[David Bore]

Bore, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Joel Monique, co co produced by Bay Wang edited and engineered by Justin.

[Langston Kerman]

Kahne Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger. You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow YMama told Me and subscribe to our channel.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

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[Langston Kerman]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

Play social casino void where prohibited.

[Langston Kerman]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Small Business Success Stories produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks.

[Langston Kerman]

We're back for season four to talk to some incredible small business owners.

[Gary Anthony Williams]

The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie, that's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is to be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts, you see it instantly. It's Coldwater Creek, the mark of exceptional workmanship and signature touches inspired by a Mountain west herit. Distinctive styles created from quality fabrics, silhouettes perfected with just the right drape. Feel good fits offering ease of movement and thoughtful details to elevate your look. For a wardrobe you can count on season after season. Visit coldwatercreek.com Shop the new spring collection at 20% off $75 or more with.

[Langston Kerman]

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[Gary Anthony Williams]

This is an iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.