Welcome to the Apocalypse (with Patrick Cloud)

Summary

Podcast Summary: My Momma Told Me – "Welcome to the Apocalypse" (with Patrick Cloud)

Release Date: April 29, 2025
Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
Guests: Patrick Cloud

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Introduction and Guest Overview

In the episode titled "Welcome to the Apocalypse," hosts Langston Kerman and David Gborie delve into contemporary Black conspiracy theories, blending humor with insightful discussions. Their guest for this episode is Patrick Cloud, a renowned comedian known for his unique content across various platforms, including his podcast and online shows.

Representation and the Popeyes Lady Controversy

Discussion on Advertising and Representation

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the portrayal of the "Popeyes Lady" in commercials. The hosts critique the character's representation, debating the authenticity and implications of her Cajun accent and demeanor.

• Patrick Cloud (07:06): "We put on her our own frustrations with a system at large."

• Langston Kerman (06:44): "If it was black-owned and that happened, we would have something to say."

The conversation highlights the tension between authentic representation and corporate-driven stereotypes. They discuss how the commercialization of certain Black personas can lead to backlash, even when the individuals are merely fulfilling their roles as instructed.

Impact on the Black Community

The hosts express concern over how such representations affect the perception of Black individuals in media and advertising.

• David Gborie (07:31): "The lady didn't do nothing. She read the lines the way they told her to read the lines."

• Patrick Cloud (10:33): "Let actors be actors."

They emphasize the importance of empowering Black actors and avoiding pigeonholing them into stereotypical roles, advocating for authentic and diverse portrayals that reflect the community's true diversity.

Analyzing Apocalypse Narratives in Modern Society

Is the Apocalypse Already Here?

The core discussion revolves around whether society is already experiencing an apocalyptic phase. Patrick Cloud introduces the idea that the apocalypse has begun, prompting introspection among the hosts.

• Patrick Cloud (26:10): "My mama told me the apocalypse has already started."

• Langston Kerman (26:13): "I think that whenever you think of stories of the apocalypse or biblical stories, you kind of think of them how people used to draw in caves."

The hosts explore symbolic interpretations of apocalyptic narratives, suggesting that contemporary societal issues—such as political instability and social unrest—mirror traditional apocalyptic symbols like the Four Horsemen.

Symbolism and Societal Change

They argue that apocalyptic imagery is often a metaphor for significant societal transformations rather than literal end-of-the-world scenarios.

• David Gborie (28:18): "Symbolism of what it could be represented as. I think we could absolutely be in the Armageddon."

• Patrick Cloud (31:29): "We all speak Chinese now."

This metaphorical lens allows listeners to reframe current challenges as transformative phases rather than final destructions, emphasizing resilience and adaptation.

Technology and AI: The Implications of a Robot Takeover

The Slow Encroachment of AI

The conversation shifts to the role of technology and artificial intelligence in shaping the future. The hosts debate the likelihood and nature of an AI takeover, contemplating how reliant humanity has become on technology.

• Langston Kerman (34:03): "It's like, no, if I'm the man, I gotta sit where the man is. They don't give a fuck. They're free of that now."

• Patrick Cloud (35:36): "The answer was way more detailed and thought out than I thought it would be. But it's AI, so I guess you would expect that."

They discuss scenarios where AI doesn't outright rebel but gradually takes over critical aspects of human life, making autonomy obsolete.

Ethical and Existential Concerns

The hosts ponder the ethical implications and existential threats posed by advanced AI, questioning whether machines would possess desires or ambitions that could lead to human subjugation.

• David Gborie (40:22): "Is the takeover even necessary?"

• Patrick Cloud (42:44): "We can make them kill themselves, no problem."

This segment underscores fears about loss of control, data privacy, and the potential dehumanization resulting from excessive technological dependence.

Voicemail Segment: Are Black People Genetically Different?

Voicemail Inquiry

The episode includes a voicemail from a listener raising questions about the genetic differences purportedly contributing to athletic prowess within the Black community.

• Listener: "Are black people built different? Like, are we naturally cut? Are we naturally muscular? Are we naturally athletic?"

Genetics vs. Socio-Cultural Factors

The hosts engage in a nuanced discussion, balancing genetic predispositions with socio-cultural influences that shape athletic abilities.

• David Gborie (52:21): "Genetics plays a big part."

• Langston Kerman (55:00): "Whenever a people does one certain thing for a long time, they're going to develop a skill for it."

They acknowledge that while genetics may contribute to certain physical attributes, environmental factors, training, and cultural emphasis on sports also play critical roles in athletic development.

Challenging Stereotypes and Promoting Inclusivity

The hosts caution against blanket statements that generalize abilities based on race, advocating for recognition of individual talents and diverse contributions across all communities.

• Patrick Cloud (56:36): "They're already got a loneliness epidemic. You stack fighting on top of that."

They emphasize the importance of combating stereotypes and fostering an inclusive environment that values each person's unique strengths beyond racial constructs.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Throughout the episode, Langston Kerman, David Gborie, and Patrick Cloud navigate complex topics with humor and critical insight. They challenge listeners to reconsider preconceived notions about representation, societal change, and the future of technology. By interweaving personal anecdotes, philosophical musings, and thoughtful debates, the episode encourages a deeper understanding of the multifaceted issues facing the Black community and society at large.

Notable Quotes:

• Patrick Cloud (26:10): "My mama told me the apocalypse has already started."

• Langston Kerman (31:29): "We could absolutely be in the Armageddon."

• David Gborie (40:22): "Is the takeover even necessary?"

• Patrick Cloud (42:44): "We can make them kill themselves, no problem."

• Langston Kerman (55:00): "Whenever a people does one certain thing for a long time, they're going to develop a skill for it."

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For more engaging discussions on Black conspiracy theories and societal topics, subscribe to "My Momma Told Me" on iHeartPodcasts and join the conversation.

Transcript

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[Patrick Cloud]

My favorite videos on the Internet are funerals where people throw a dove and then it's dead.

[Matt Rogers]

They need to stop. Can you imagine your life was cut short because you had to give some weird symbolism to somebody else who died. And you died during that because somebody.

[Patrick Cloud]

That didn't know how to hold a bird held you for the first time, crushed your little bones, and then threw you in. In the air.

[Bowen Yang]

Those are the videos that are going to get us got by the machines 100%. They're going to see that and be like, they got it. They got it.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow. That was just a public execution at a funeral.

[Patrick Cloud]

That. That animal served a greater.

[Matt Rogers]

A greater system flying around and.

[Patrick Cloud]

And you crunched it up and threw it.

[Matt Rogers]

Or eat him at least.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. You didn't pick it up because you.

[Matt Rogers]

Thought it was nasty.

[Patrick Cloud]

You're like, you're better.

[Matt Rogers]

You just crushed it with your hands. Yeah, but I don't want to touch it.

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't want to eat that. That'd be crazy. Oh, man. It's a. The government growing babies. Microchips in your anus. All koala bears are racist. The ozone layer owes me money.

[Bowen Yang]

Martians invented turkey stuffing. Y'all can't tell me nothing.

[Patrick Cloud]

I'm coming home to you. Wear something see through so I can see your heart. There it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies, gentlemen. Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast, where we.

[Bowen Yang]

Dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we finally work to.

[Patrick Cloud]

Prove whatever bullshit you got going on at home. You think it. We bring it to life. That's our promise to you.

[Bowen Yang]

Let's go.

[Patrick Cloud]

Let's go.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm excited.

[Patrick Cloud]

I've been thinking about this.

[Bowen Yang]

Tell me.

[Patrick Cloud]

I want to say it, and I want us to accept it, hopefully with open arms. I hope we at least open hearts.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay. Okay.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think we went too hard on the Popeyes Lady.

[Matt Rogers]

Which Popeyes Lady?

[Patrick Cloud]

The one. The Popeyes Lady.

[Matt Rogers]

The commercial one or the commercial?

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, no.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, damn.

[Patrick Cloud]

Our precious reading material.

[Matt Rogers]

That was the first thing I did on this show. That sucks.

[Bowen Yang]

Don't worry.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I'm talking about, though. The exhausted Popeyes lady who's like, oh.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Bowen Yang]

I feel like she's a hero. Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

I feel like we all support her.

[Bowen Yang]

No, I remember I liked her because you were just had that day at work. We all had that, like, you talking.

[Matt Rogers]

About the love had chicken and Popeye.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. The herbs and spices and all the. Yes.

[Bowen Yang]

That Popeyes Like, I agree with you on that. I think people went too hard on her.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think we saw her and she was doing the job they asked her to do, and we immediately called her a coon in a way that I think had huge ramifications for a future in us embracing ourselves on screen.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, I haven't seen her in anything else.

[Matt Rogers]

What do you mean? Like, movies?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, that's. How often does that happen?

[Patrick Cloud]

But maybe occasionally, maybe.

[Bowen Yang]

I also don't feel.

[Patrick Cloud]

Maybe this wasn't her dream is the point.

[Bowen Yang]

I also don't feel good about going out here. Cause like, I don't know, man, we're in the safety of the studio. I'm not going there every day. But, like, I love that chicken from Popeyes.

[Patrick Cloud]

I do love that chicken from Popeyes.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, I think there has been a drop in quality in recent years, but I love that chicken from Bojangles.

[Patrick Cloud]

I, I, I, and I, I'm cautious. I don't know that I would have appreciated them putting some white woman in that.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what I'm saying. Like the opposite. What? The opposite of that we would have been furious about.

[Patrick Cloud]

We would have been so obsessed if.

[Matt Rogers]

It was a white person going, look, look at that chicken. And Popeyes. We would have been like, hey, yo. So it's kind of like, you're right, we did go hard on her. I didn't. Because to me, like, if I went to New Orleans or Louisiana, that is exactly who I would want to serve. Because that's a black lady from New Orleans. Did she turn it up a little?

[Patrick Cloud]

Maybe that's.

[Matt Rogers]

But that's also.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think that's why we reacted the way we did.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, also, I don't know if Popeyes is black owned. So at the end of the day, niggas are gonna complain about some level.

[Bowen Yang]

I almost feel like it can't be.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. So if it was black owned and that happened, we would have something to say.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

This version of us having something to say was it was too black and it was white owned. But every version we would have complained about.

[Patrick Cloud]

And that's more the problem, Right. Is that we put on her our own frustrations with a system at large. This is a fucked up system where a restaurant that objectively is mostly serving black people is white owned and then deciding what kind of imagery of black people we get to see that makes us feel icky. But the lady didn't do nothing. No, she read the lines the way they told her to read the lines.

[Matt Rogers]

Does she Talk like that for real, though?

[Patrick Cloud]

No.

[Matt Rogers]

Okay, so maybe that's.

[Bowen Yang]

Do you know that you've seen her?

[Matt Rogers]

You seen the Popeyes Ladies interviews?

[Bowen Yang]

That's nice. I did.

[Matt Rogers]

You seen her on the Breakfast Club?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think those are.

[Bowen Yang]

Yo.

[Matt Rogers]

Now we're just expecting too much of her.

[Patrick Cloud]

Popeyes lady, if you are out there, come on the podcast.

[Bowen Yang]

100%.

[Patrick Cloud]

We will hang out with Popeyes later. I want to hear your sweet voice. I would like to hear otherwise.

[Matt Rogers]

If she actually talks like that all the time, then it's fine. You're just a lady from New Orleans. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

She's an actor, though. Come on, man. Johnny Depp doesn't talk like Jack Sparrow. That was a strange.

[Matt Rogers]

That was a weird example. You made it seem like Jack Sparrow was like a culture that was really like a pirate.

[Bowen Yang]

I haven't even seen that movie in years. I don't really understand where that came from.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, it's okay. You're doing good.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I'm trying, man.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it's like how people complain about, like, Snowfall. It's like, okay, you hired a dude from London to speak like he's from LA instead of hiring an actor from la.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

It always comes down to, like, the author. Authenticity of it. So had she just. That's how she spoke, it probably would have went over well. But if it. If she. If they hired somebody and be like, talk like you're from New Orleans. And they're like, yeehaw, chicken. Now it's like, is that an alligator? Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

That alligator is funny.

[Matt Rogers]

She have no reason to ever say.

[Bowen Yang]

That'S what they're doing down there. In my head, watching out for.

[Patrick Cloud]

I do like the idea that in the commercial, she just says it. We're like, damn, she from there.

[Matt Rogers]

She's really from there. Alligator on set.

[Patrick Cloud]

She get.

[Bowen Yang]

I do. To that point of authenticity and acting. I do. I am weary of that because I don't think it always. The point of acting isn't to get someone who lived that exact thing to be the actor. Then we don't get Stringer Bell. You know what I'm saying?

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, I think that, like, I think putting those parameters on acting is not great.

[Patrick Cloud]

There's an inventiveness to Stringer as that choice because there are other actors that, like, I could see in that role that would play it completely different.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

Like, he had this sort of like, almost like stiffness to him that made me scared of a new kind of dude.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

You know what I mean? Like, it didn't exist before in My.

[Matt Rogers]

Head, because it was a British dude pretending to be a gangster from Baltimore.

[Patrick Cloud]

And I think if you just didn't.

[Matt Rogers]

Know how to compute.

[Patrick Cloud]

If you put.

[Matt Rogers]

This is scary.

[Patrick Cloud]

If you put Bo Keen Woodbine in that. I don't have the same type of fear that I get out of Idris.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Cause he's an actor, he's trained. I get what you. I fully agree with that. Because I think that, you know, there are some roles where it's like, you don't be like, oh, you hired this Emmy Award winning actress to play a drug addict. Why didn't you just get a drug addict?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what I mean? Now you're on set looking at the call sheet, and you didn't show up.

[Bowen Yang]

And now there's no copper on the set. Now there's no more copper on the set.

[Matt Rogers]

They didn't pawn the rap gifs and shit.

[Patrick Cloud]

Well, he kept it real, authentic all the way. All the way through.

[Matt Rogers]

I think it goes down back to the first thing I said. It's like, niggas will find a way to complain about something. When I say niggas, I just mean people.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I just don't agree with you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, the royal niggas.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, yeah. Capital A nigga.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. No, that is. That is facts. But I think you gotta let actors be actors.

[Patrick Cloud]

Let actors be actors.

[Bowen Yang]

And to that point, that's probably what she was doing in that commercial.

[Patrick Cloud]

She tried her best. And I'll take it one step further. I know now that flow from Progressive has been elevated to now she's in charge of their commercials. Like, she directs them. She is like a part of actual shaping of the campaign. They've empowered her in a way where she is like, for real. For real. A mover and shaker in Progressive. They didn't do that with the Popeyes. No. And that's, to me, where we get shortchanged. Okay? Put her in this weird position where she gotta do a shitty Cajun accent to be able to make money, but keep her making real money, not chump change all the way through.

[Matt Rogers]

Was she not being paid well?

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't know, but I just asking.

[Bowen Yang]

A lot out of Popeyes.

[Patrick Cloud]

I just want.

[Bowen Yang]

I want that from Progressive. That's not even. I don't even think that's necessarily the career. Like, can you hear me now? I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that guy ran Verizon. You know what I'm saying? I don't think that's like some actors.

[Patrick Cloud]

Know a bunch of commercial dealers with commercials. Yeah. They end up like the AT&T girl directs those commercials now.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I did not know that.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think they do that shit. If they really build campaigns around you because they want to keep you happy.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

I'm saying I don't believe they did that for the Popeyes lady.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think so either. But that's not even Popeyes. Get down. What other commercial? I don't even know other Popeyes commercials, really.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't really know how product sells itself. That situation happens enough. I don't. I don't know how often that happens, but I flow with progressive. It was almost to a point where we wouldn't accept anybody else. Like, that was like. That's like one of the most iconic. I don't even know if that's a campaign. That was just how they were after that. It wasn't even like a small campaign and stuff. So.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, we're still in it.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I definitely wish the Popeyes lady. I'm rooting for anybody black. You know what I'm saying? I think there are tiers of commercial faces of campaigns like the. Do you hear me now Guy.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

And I'm saying I believe.

[Matt Rogers]

Give it to everybody.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I like that.

[Patrick Cloud]

And she deserves more than we gave her.

[Matt Rogers]

She should be the CEO of Popeyes. That would have been. I don't think anybody would have anything to say if she was like, come on down to New Orleans and eat this Popeyes chicken. And she was the boss. No, that's fine.

[Patrick Cloud]

Even if it's.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm not only. What's he saying?

[Patrick Cloud]

I'm not only a customer. I'm the president.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You know how hard that would.

[Bowen Yang]

That would go crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

Smacking black community.

[Bowen Yang]

That's.

[Patrick Cloud]

I made that.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like now it's not. You can't even say cooning. This is my business.

[Bowen Yang]

Yes.

[Matt Rogers]

Nobody asked me to act like this.

[Patrick Cloud]

No.

[Bowen Yang]

You know what I worry about? I worry that the CEO of Popeye's is. It's some dark conglomerate. Especially since like the Don Julio collab and stuff like that. And then you realize we never heard anything. It's not like you hear about like, oh, Popeyes was like. It was. It started as a one room shack in Houston and somebody blew. We don't know anything about it.

[Patrick Cloud]

No. It's got a. I guarantee it's got a nasty history.

[Matt Rogers]

You guys want a chicken conspiracy?

[Bowen Yang]

Uh, oh, please.

[Matt Rogers]

The blackest thing I could say on this show. What if the nigga behind Popeyes Was Colonel Sanders. Hear me out.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay, Keep going.

[Matt Rogers]

Most white people that build empires spend a lot of money trying to figure out how they can get their white ass product to us, Right? What do they do? They hide behind something else to get the black vote, right?

[Patrick Cloud]

Sure.

[Matt Rogers]

But they're behind all of it. Look at Buzzfeed Cocoa butterfucking bars.

[Bowen Yang]

Nigga, you know nothing about that.

[Matt Rogers]

I expect to hear Sway, but that's cool. Sway D. Flex.

[Patrick Cloud]

Flex Flex.

[Bowen Yang]

Inventor of the driving shoe.

[Matt Rogers]

Can you. Can you imagine? Could you imagine if Colonel Sanders started Popeyes, put a black lady from Louisiana in the commercials, and now he's like, I don't have to worry about it. I know niggas love KFC too. That's probably the biggest hole in my theory.

[Patrick Cloud]

I actually don't know that niggas.

[Bowen Yang]

I've always felt it was an inferior chicken.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think on large, black people have made their choice for what the good chicken is and can't explain it. I mean, that Safeway chicken goes better than Albertsons.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I feel like the cooks there are better.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Weirdly.

[Matt Rogers]

Weirdly.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think depending on where your local grocery is in California, you could argue that some of these. There's a kitchen. Yeah. They're making good chicken back, I'm assuming. Point being. Yeah, fuck, that is possible.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what I'm saying.

[Patrick Cloud]

It reminds me a lot of how, like, Coca Cola owns Fanta.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. You know what I mean?

[Patrick Cloud]

That there are all these offshoot whatever type brands. And what's crazy about it is Popeyes is solely in America. It's not international.

[Bowen Yang]

I know that because, like, I heard KFC and all fast food is fucking them up in the Middle east right now. They're getting fat. Like, they can't handle it. Like, because it, like it came in and they're like, hey, we're better at something.

[Matt Rogers]

Finally.

[Bowen Yang]

We'll kill you.

[Patrick Cloud]

Good.

[Matt Rogers]

We can handle this crazy food. No, Think of Nike and Jordan.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Brought a nigga in to sell niggas, Right?

[Patrick Cloud]

And now. And now it's eclipsed. Yeah. Eclipse the other shoes for a while at least. Yeah, Yeah. I. I think there's a fair amount, a fair argument to the possibility that maybe they're just weird sister companies.

[Bowen Yang]

And then, you know, it. It gets even more nefarious. Because isn't KFC's backdoor owned by Pepsi? Right? Or like, there's like an affiliation there. That's why they can do. Like, it's. I think it's kfc, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. That's why they can do the 3:1. I think it's all under the Pepsi Cove.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's why they have those, like, fast food collabs. I always wondered about that. It'd be like Carl's Jr. In the green Burrito. What the hell is that?

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Instead of putting on one of their artists.

[Bowen Yang]

The Green Burrito is the State Lunatics.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's. Slow Down.

[Bowen Yang]

Slow down was a crazy St. Lunatic to pick. That was the craziest.

[Matt Rogers]

Which one was that?

[Bowen Yang]

That's a mask.

[Patrick Cloud]

I knew the. No, no, no. That was.

[Bowen Yang]

Fuck.

[Patrick Cloud]

Damn.

[Matt Rogers]

No, Ali. No, Ali was the tall dude.

[Bowen Yang]

Ali was a leader is how I thought of it.

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, really? Murphy Lee was a leader.

[Bowen Yang]

To me, Murphy Lee was the young boy.

[Matt Rogers]

Murphy Lee was the popular one.

[Bowen Yang]

He was popular. He was the youngest.

[Matt Rogers]

What are we talking about? Nelly was the leader, of course.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know if them niggas ever met Nelly.

[Matt Rogers]

That is. They saw him once at a baseball stadium.

[Patrick Cloud]

They got to do one video with him. You pick which video you gonna be. You get Air Force One or you get Batter Up.

[Bowen Yang]

I Fuck with St. Louis, yo.

[Matt Rogers]

That's funny.

[Bowen Yang]

I like the St. Ludo.

[Matt Rogers]

I had Murphy Lee's album.

[Patrick Cloud]

I did, too.

[Matt Rogers]

That was so funny, man. Yeah, I just love how he made a creative block, a hook by saying. With the hook going with. Yeah, that's funny. When you really, like, take apart that hook. It's hilarious.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's very funny.

[Matt Rogers]

He's like, oh, these niggas did not know what to do that day.

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, they had no clue.

[Matt Rogers]

And that was the single.

[Patrick Cloud]

But you know what it was also was. He was so. He was like, I'm about to come in and do some shit nobody's ever done before.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it does have that.

[Patrick Cloud]

Figure it out.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't need no hook on this.

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't need a hook, man. That's my whole thing. And it's like, oh, that's not a. That's not how you introduce yourself to you.

[Matt Rogers]

Not needing a hook is the hook.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Indecisive. No, I'm just kidding.

[Bowen Yang]

It is fun.

[Patrick Cloud]

It was a good single.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I like that song. They're up too. I liked Air Force Ones.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, no, they had the St. Lunatics did a good job.

[Matt Rogers]

We talking about companies not letting niggas in. Air Force One had no deals with the St. Lunatics or Nelly.

[Bowen Yang]

That's none of them crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

They just hiked the price up. They're like, oh, niggas like it.

[Patrick Cloud]

That is really crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

That's crazy. Too. Because that was Nelly was making actual money.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

That would. Would have only serviced Nike.

[Matt Rogers]

Everybody started wearing them.

[Patrick Cloud]

He was the number one hip hop artist in the country when he was in the world.

[Bowen Yang]

I think it was world like Nelly. Nelly made the amount of money before the bottom came out of the record industry.

[Patrick Cloud]

I still remember Jay Z having to be like the moving units and juice and us. He had to acknowledge Nelly.

[Bowen Yang]

That's crazy.

[Patrick Cloud]

That was Jay Z at his height. Had to be like, nah, look, them two. I gotta put my hands up.

[Matt Rogers]

That's next level.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, you remember Ride with Me was like, I don't remember a song being everywhere.

[Matt Rogers]

Probably my least favorite Nelly song.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, it's not good, but I'm just.

[Matt Rogers]

Saying that's a hot take.

[Bowen Yang]

I know. I didn't like it that much either.

[Patrick Cloud]

I really liked it.

[Matt Rogers]

Ride with Me and the one with Kelly Rowland.

[Bowen Yang]

That dilemma. Whoa, hold on.

[Patrick Cloud]

You're my dilemma.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Patrick Cloud]

You didn't care for that.

[Bowen Yang]

You might just be wrong on that. The dilemma wasn't. Bro, I used to be in the crib.

[Patrick Cloud]

Look who you tethered yourself to, Bro.

[Bowen Yang]

I used to be in the crib.

[Patrick Cloud]

I thought you bonded with somebody. Now you're embarrassed.

[Matt Rogers]

That went way too far.

[Patrick Cloud]

Embarrassed.

[Bowen Yang]

That hurt me.

[Patrick Cloud]

Look how his brain works. That hurts.

[Bowen Yang]

That does hurt me, bro. I used to be in the crib listening to Dilemma, wishing I had a girlfriend.

[Patrick Cloud]

Come on, man.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Rogers]

Come on, man.

[Bowen Yang]

It came out in the summer. You remember that? It came out in the summer and I was just like, man, I had a girlfriend.

[Matt Rogers]

What year was that?

[Bowen Yang]

It was probably 2003. 2002.

[Patrick Cloud]

Kelly Rowland was so fine.

[Matt Rogers]

Kelly Rowland was fine.

[Bowen Yang]

I've always been a Kelly head. Always been a Kelly head.

[Patrick Cloud]

I like that. I like that. Short hair.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. I liked the redheaded one too. Before Beyonce.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, she was out. You starting. No, she didn't kick. Really?

[Matt Rogers]

Out.

[Patrick Cloud]

Kelly.

[Matt Rogers]

Kelly out.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no, no. The redheaded one. Oh, you liked it from the beginning.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, before Michelle Short Pre Michelle.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

She was cute too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Names?

[Bowen Yang]

Latavia.

[Patrick Cloud]

Latavia and Latoya.

[Matt Rogers]

Latavia and Latoya.

[Bowen Yang]

That sounds right.

[Matt Rogers]

Sounds like Dr. Seuss character.

[Bowen Yang]

And Beyonce. Did not like her on a boat. She did not like her with a coat.

[Matt Rogers]

You will not be eating my band. You will not be green eggs and.

[Patrick Cloud]

Ham eating green eggs and ham tonight.

[Matt Rogers]

He will not be in his band.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's how she threatened her.

[Bowen Yang]

You.

[Patrick Cloud]

You about to eat some green eggs and ham and it ain't green cuz we put food color in this fr you're four now get your ass out of here.

[Matt Rogers]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Patrick Cloud]

Patrick, we haven't even introduced you yet.

[Matt Rogers]

It's just been a good time.

[Patrick Cloud]

This has been a good hang. Our guest today is. He's phenomenal. He's very funny, you know, from all kinds of stuff on the Internet. Specifically, you know him at best from all deaf. He has his own podcast. He has his own show. He makes so much great content. Give it up for Patrick Clow.

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you. I smell good. I feel good. And you sing good and make love good.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, oh.

[Matt Rogers]

Didn't expect the James Brown said, well.

[Bowen Yang]

I try to bring that.

[Matt Rogers]

All right.

[Bowen Yang]

Try to move it around.

[Patrick Cloud]

Keep you on your toes, you know.

[Matt Rogers]

Keep me on my toes even sitting down.

[Patrick Cloud]

We're so happy you're here. We. We came with a conspiracy. Nice that we're excited to unpack with you. My mama told me the apocalypse has already started. Where does that land with you? Let's just get some first thoughts out of the way when you hear that.

[Matt Rogers]

Absolutely. Yeah, I think so.

[Patrick Cloud]

And don't take any time to process it. Just launch right into those feelings until you finish.

[Bowen Yang]

I like that.

[Matt Rogers]

I definitely think so. I think that whenever you think of. Whenever you think of like stories of the apocalypse or like biblical stories, you kind of think of them how people used to draw in caves. Right. It wasn't literal. It was Just like, you know, something I didn't understand. So, you know, if an angel came down, you might say a monster floated down. You know, like the ways things were described in our head is like mythical and stuff, but it was probably very, very realistic. So when you think of stories of the apocalypse, I don't necessarily know if we gonna actually go outside and the sky's on fire or there's the four horsemen thing. I don't know if we're gonna see a skeleton on a horse in the sky.

[Patrick Cloud]

Like, yeah, it's over.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, I think those are symbolic of what's happening with us.

[Bowen Yang]

So when they see four key members of government.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, like, exactly. Like everything that's going on with the government right now, and everybody's like, what the hell is happening? You know, that could be part of it. You know, when I go outside, when I'm driving down the street and I see the sidewalks filled with tents on streets that. It was never like that before. Usually in la, like, skid row was like one area. Things have gotten so bad that people are just outside people. Like, it's really bad right now. So when they say, like, oh, the world is supposed to end in 2012, remember that? Yeah, we think that it's gonna be like midnight and everything blows up and stuff, but it's like, no, that could have just been the start of a whole chain react.

[Patrick Cloud]

Warming up the engine for eventually will be us fully driving off the cliff.

[Matt Rogers]

Exactly. And then when we think about how we would write about these times, how somebody would describe our president or the things that are happening with like Elon Musk and all these things, it might be depicted as like a monster or like a demon. So if you read that a thousand years from now, you saw glasses based on our experience and what's going on. So if somebody were to read about that or paint about it, they might. They can't take it literal. They'd be like, man, they had a demon in office. They had all these crazy stuff going on, you know. So I think that if you break down everything that's happening and the symbology. The symbology. What am I trying to say?

[Patrick Cloud]

Symbolism.

[Matt Rogers]

The symbolism. The symbolism of what it could be represented as. I think we could absolutely be in the Armageddon.

[Bowen Yang]

Wow, Interesting.

[Patrick Cloud]

This is a good argument. Where does this sit with you, man?

[Bowen Yang]

I do like the argument. So I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Kind of is that like, I'm trying to lean more positive in that. I feel like every generation has faced world ending possibilities like when nuclear war was invented. Right. And they have kids at school going under their desks and things like that. I think there's always been things like that. I think that we are in the midst of a paradigm shift. Right?

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I think that power is transferring from the west to wherever it goes next, and we're at the tail end of that. And I do feel like that feels like the end of the world, but I think it's just a time of upheaval and change. I think it's just. We're not gonna be number one no more. And that's a stark contrast to the America that we grew up in. And I think that's a stark contrast to the way that the world has worked throughout our lives in maybe a generation or so before. But I don't know if I feel like that's the end of the world.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's always been my struggle, I think, with these ideas is that it puts this sort of self reflection on us as humans of, like, our value to the world means that the world will end. And even a part of me goes like, all right, there is a world where the US Falls, and it destabilizes everything so much that everything falls false. I don't know that to be true, but it's a possibility. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

And even if that were true, I don't know that that means the world is over. I just think we all up out of here. You know what I mean? Like, I think panthers will live on, like, fucking.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, you mean even, like, humans in general?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think that. Yeah, no, I'm saying that, like, humanity will continue to exist in some form, but more importantly, another species could rise to sort of see its Hades. Like, I don't know that we are.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, I think that my. What I. Okay, so when I was talking about, like, things being symbolic, I think that goes even down to the phrase of the end of the world. I think that the world can end multiple times, and it has. I don't necessarily think the end of the world just means, like, now we're nothing. You know, if you think about all the eras. Eras of the world, even within our lives, you know, like, I think that that can be described as the end of one thing and the start of another thing. You know, that world is no more. And you can. You could just flip through the history books and see that evidence of just rising and falling of stuff. So I don't necessarily think the end is literally the end. I think that even, like, what you're saying, if America is. Goes down the shitter and then the ship as the world. That would be the end of one thing and the rise of the end.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's true.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, that's fair.

[Bowen Yang]

It's damn near like our era, right?

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Like the fall of the Roman Empire, you know, like, that was the. To a lot of people, that was the end of the world. And then everything after that historically was very different. So I think that a huge shift can also be symbolically the end of the world also.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I mean, that's. Yeah, it's the end of the world as we know it, right? Yeah. And I think that is fair. That makes sense to me.

[Patrick Cloud]

And I think. I think books mark time through the fall of like the Greeks and then the Romans. And like, we. We literally are like, no, that was a different era of life in humanity. I bet when America falls, it's a similar energy, right? Where people are like, no, they went crazy, but they're gone now.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

And whatever that was is, you can go visit it and walk through it, but you ain't. You will not experience that anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Because we all speak Chinese now.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like, next.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Back in my day is people literally referring to the last world that they were in. To me, bro, isn't that crazy to.

[Bowen Yang]

Think we're gonna be old and we're gonna be like, nah, when I was a kid, we were the best at basketball.

[Matt Rogers]

We could do that now.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

You know, like, that's true.

[Matt Rogers]

I think technology is gonna make us. Back in the day is gonna be even quicker because everybody's gonna have a different. Imagine growing up in the 70s and 80s as a farmer or like a hard labor. Somebody who does hard labor and then living to a point where there's just robots doing everything right. You'd be like, oh, my world is done with.

[Bowen Yang]

Right?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, this is something. This is something completely different. Like this literally, like robots, you have to just like move over for a robot that's going to somebody's house to deliver food. Like, you tried to explain that to somebody in the 30s, the 60s.

[Bowen Yang]

And that also that change in things will, I think, shift the entire focus of what becomes humanity. I think that that's because I've been trying. I think about the robot takeover a lot because I'm scared.

[Patrick Cloud]

Sure.

[Bowen Yang]

Because I have a person brain. I have a small person, small man brain. But I'm like, man, let's say we get them to this point where they can handle all of our base needs, then what happens? The whole scope of what life is supposed to be changes now, right? You would like to believe in us and believe that we become more community oriented and. But it's like, maybe we just kill each other because life has to have a base level of hard.

[Patrick Cloud]

There's no evidence in any of our decisions over history that we're going to be, like, better because our meats are knit, our needs are met.

[Bowen Yang]

We're only going to be worse.

[Matt Rogers]

Have you guys seen that video? It said some people asked, AI, how would you take over? And the answer was, scary as hell. Have you guys seen that?

[Bowen Yang]

No. I feel scared already.

[Patrick Cloud]

I didn't listen to the answer because I was too afraid.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, I'm afraid.

[Matt Rogers]

So I know. It scare you.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's easier hearing it come from your mouth than it is actual gpa, the monotone thing.

[Matt Rogers]

So, first of all, the answer was way more detailed and thought out than I thought it would be. But it's AI, so I guess you would expect that. So it wasn't like it was nothing like Terminator. It was basically, they said, we will slowly, over time, get exactly what you said. We'll start taking care of your basic needs. So everything from travel to food, we'll basically make it so that you can't do anything on your own. But we will give you the choice to give it to us. It's not gonna be like a hard takeover. We are literally going to slowly take over everything in your life so that everything that you depend on is either here, or the neural link that's coming might be in here. They're gonna slowly make it seem like we're making all the decisions. And at the end of it, we will be completely in control of everything. And the best thing is, it's not gonna be a war. You'll think that you did it, but it's really us. And when you think about how puppet masters behind the scene really work, they don't want to be the president or the person that's on camera. They do everything behind the scenes. And that's what a real. That's what real control is.

[Bowen Yang]

It's bidding.

[Patrick Cloud]

I also think what feels absurd about the suggestion of a war with the robots is to that point, it places a value on land that they don't have. Like, they're. They don't.

[Bowen Yang]

Damn, that's a good think about that.

[Patrick Cloud]

They don't need land.

[Matt Rogers]

The whole Terminator, everybody's shooting and stuff like that.

[Patrick Cloud]

They're fighting over the. Why would they. They're just erasing you from existence. So whatever you're fighting for doesn't even matter to them, right? You are being eliminated, just en masse over the sky.

[Matt Rogers]

That was crazy.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, I mean, it's just the reality.

[Matt Rogers]

That was crazy.

[Patrick Cloud]

Fuck, they could all sleep in an airport hangar. They don't give a fuck. Right?

[Matt Rogers]

Because data is data, even if you take it to another planet. So them taking over this world is just like, okay, like, we can take the land. We'll take over the technology and the people, but that can go anywhere.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, you can keep your body the do we care?

[Matt Rogers]

Right? Killing us means nothing to them.

[Patrick Cloud]

What you think we want? The White House have it, Right? That's yours. Go ahead.

[Matt Rogers]

Right, because there's a certain ego in taking over something and sitting in the White House with the throne and you're.

[Patrick Cloud]

Like, this is all human. That's some human that we created of being like, no, if I'm the man, I gotta sit where the man is. They don't give a fuck. They're free of that now. We're in a bad way, y'all.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. God damn it.

[Matt Rogers]

I used a robot to get here.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, wayo.

[Matt Rogers]

No, no, no. I mean Uber and GPS and all that stuff. And if my phone died, I wouldn't know how to get home. So that.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's. That's crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm gonna charge my phone.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, no problem.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's so crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

But that alone is like. Okay. I could probably say if I wasn't in the arts.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I would probably have, like, a very embarrassing percentage of my life run by.

[Patrick Cloud]

Robots already completely incapable without the robot.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the scary thing, is that the shit is already happening. We think that these Boston Dynamic robots that are doing push ups and jumping, we think that's the scary shit. But it's like, no, you're watching this on a robot that's taking your data right now. And the thing that you talk about with your friends next is gonna be advertised somehow, weirdly, on your phone.

[Bowen Yang]

I do it for every. I do it for how to make food. Yeah, think about that. I don't know how to make macaroni or. That was a weird one.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, you can make. You could do it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

But macaroni is also incredibly difficult.

[Bowen Yang]

But, like, I don't. I text my girl, what do you want to have for dinner? Oh, this would be crazy. Let me go online. Oh, how do I make stir fry?

[Patrick Cloud]

Like, oh, she asked for shit. She don't even know if you know how to make.

[Bowen Yang]

Well, no, I'll just be like, you offered yeah, I'm offering.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, but like, if I told my wife, and this is. I fully am inept in the kitchen. And if I told my wife, like, hey, what do you want for dinner? She would have to go through the Rolodex of the four things she knows I know how to make. So she could choose from that.

[Matt Rogers]

She ain't doing no experiments with that.

[Patrick Cloud]

There's no version where she's like, duck confit wouldn't be bad. And then I got.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, duck confetti isn't what she's saying, but I'm talking about like stir fry or something. Like, nothing crazy, but you know what I mean? But still, I do ask it for everything. I ask that shit all the time.

[Patrick Cloud]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, man.

[Matt Rogers]

You even asked her what she wanted with a robot.

[Bowen Yang]

Exactly.

[Matt Rogers]

If you break it. That's what I'm saying. It's probably. I don't know how to get a.

[Bowen Yang]

Hold of her without a robot.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't want to know. The number percentage of my life is ruled by.

[Patrick Cloud]

I mean, to that point, it feels like it has already happened. If that's the case, right, like with there to your point, there's so few things already that I can't do right. Without the aid of robots. Even. Even if I went back to typewriters and letters and shit, I don't know how to know if that got there or how to get in touch with the people that I sent it to. It's all crazy. So, like, no, my life is already run by robots and it's just a question of when they turn off my switch and turn theirs fully on.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, but here's my question about it. Because they're not human. They don't have the wants and desires. Is the takeover even necessary?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think that's also a fair question, right?

[Bowen Yang]

If they don't have ambition, if they're not us, they don't want to hold this land, then the idea of being eternal helpers is not so terrible.

[Matt Rogers]

Have you ever worked for somebody that you were smarter than and you knew it?

[Bowen Yang]

I would say exclusively.

[Patrick Cloud]

Like.

[Matt Rogers]

I think that's what would turn them if. If their whole thing is like, intelligence, efficiency and stuff. And then we're in charge and they keep seeing gleaming things. Everything we do keeps going wrong. And they see how they could do it better. I could see that being the turning.

[Bowen Yang]

Point, but like, to what end? But then them doing it better. What does that mean? Without. There's no existence of them without us. So what is that, though?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think that's what the singularity is promising is that eventually they will reach a type of sentience that allows them to be independent of us.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think they fully recognize they need us now. They.

[Bowen Yang]

The. The we're already talking to about them like we're. You're a thing.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, it seems like it. They. There was a.

[JLO Beauty]

Would you say that you're racist?

[Bowen Yang]

Not at all. No.

[Patrick Cloud]

Look at my dog.

[Bowen Yang]

He's as black as can be. Dance, monkey, dance. I just gotta. I gotta keep my foot on the neck.

[Patrick Cloud]

He's gonna treat you like when that flips. When that little ass iPad wake up, yo.

[Matt Rogers]

He start poking you to make noises.

[Bowen Yang]

They're gonna download every talk I've had with my Alexa in the crib. Turn on YouTube.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah, you. You putting it on yourself. Alexa go come after you first, bro.

[Bowen Yang]

I be talking down to her with. No, it's just me and the dog play lampa.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm very polite. Like, Alexa, please, if you feel like it, tell me the weather that though the takeover happens. They'd be like, pat, good. You know, man.

[Bowen Yang]

But we can't plan for that. We can't plan for that.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. I. I do think. And we need to take a break. But I do think ultimately what this feels like is we're also putting robot human ambitions on robots. And maybe their sense of what taking over or the need to take over is completely in another world that we don't. We could never even begin to understand.

[Bowen Yang]

Because we're talking about it as if it's a game that we understand or know the end to. Right. Humanity has not gotten even close to the idea of what perfect society is. So we don't even know what that's supposed to look like.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

They might decide that like a percentage of us need to die and figure out a way to do it so strategically that we think it. It's our own shit.

[Matt Rogers]

That's scary. Cause our stats are terrible. We've done nothing but ruin everything. So if they looked at the data, they'd be like, oh, this is. We're clearly the things that are ruining everything. Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

It's not a good system that we've come up with.

[Patrick Cloud]

We can make them kill themselves, no problem. Super easy.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't let them learn how to talk to animals. Because if they could talk to animals, we would be clearly. They'd be like, get them out of here.

[Bowen Yang]

That's the word.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what. Get them out of here, bro.

[Bowen Yang]

That's why I don't fuck with that wild robot movie. I feel like they were. Because that's how the robot even. Did you guys see that movie? I didn't see it, man. I guess some shit, I think DreamWorks.

[Patrick Cloud]

DreamWorks.

[Bowen Yang]

But it's like the robot. It's like. It's like a robot built to assist humans. It falls off a truck or some shit, and then it lands in the wild and it's like. Its whole thing is, like, taking in data. So it sits in the wild for like, 100 years or something, and then it can talk to animals.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that would be. What I would think would ruin any. Everything for first.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Matt Rogers]

Like, if anything was a takeover. I get what you're saying. Like, with technology and, like, why would they take over us if it was just us and them? Like, who cares?

[Bowen Yang]

Right?

[Matt Rogers]

But if they talk to the other that was living here, we don't have the best rep.

[Bowen Yang]

Ask the neighbors how. I've been over here.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Oh, they gotta go.

[Patrick Cloud]

The squirrels are like that. Wild.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Wild as.

[Matt Rogers]

I ain't gonna hold you.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's a bad guy.

[Matt Rogers]

This was all better before.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think they got. I think it's the ones closest to us who would do us in. By the way, if we're talking about animals.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Dogs, cats. They don't even like us now anyway.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. They already think we're bad.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel that.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. That's, like, a worry.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel like chickens and cows would definitely.

[Bowen Yang]

Chickens and cows. We've.

[Matt Rogers]

This is genocide. This has been genocide.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a joke how much we eat them. It's funny. It's funny how much chicken we eat.

[Patrick Cloud]

It's reached a point where we now are making fake versions of them because we eat so much of them by chance.

[Bowen Yang]

Evil dog.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's the real ones that are left.

[Bowen Yang]

I never even thought about it. That way. We develop such a taste for them that we just make. Not that. Like, we got veggie chicken nuggets.

[Matt Rogers]

Instead of just moving on to a.

[Patrick Cloud]

Different animal, we're just like, nah, I can't give that up.

[Matt Rogers]

We were never like, oh, chicken's done. Let's eat quail.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, no, no. Chicken's never done no chicken.

[Bowen Yang]

We keep it in a loop.

[Patrick Cloud]

The world will fall before chickens are done.

[Matt Rogers]

Make it in a tube. Do we really need them running around?

[Patrick Cloud]

That's crazy. All right, we need to take a break. We're gonna be back with More Patrick Cloud. More My Mama Told Me.

[Matt Rogers]

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[Matt Rogers]

Could be a crackhead that got hold.

[Patrick Cloud]

To the wrong stuff.

[Bowen Yang]

But I hold to the right stuff. We're back.

[Patrick Cloud]

Perfect.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. How's it going? It's like getting better. Yeah, you just gotta work on your craft, guys. You just gotta work on your craft.

[Patrick Cloud]

You know, Patrick Loud is still here with us. We've been talking about the possibility that the world is already. It seems like we're all kind of in agreement on it. The scales and the. I think the ultimate implications are probably varied. I would say we have different perspectives on it. But ultimately it sounds like we all agree Apocalypse has started and we'll see what happens. Enjoy it while it lasts, boys.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that's why I gotta get mines, man.

[Patrick Cloud]

I feel it.

[Matt Rogers]

What's that mean?

[Patrick Cloud]

He won't tell me.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no. That's between me and my jerk know.

[Patrick Cloud]

Should we do some voice?

[Matt Rogers]

Gotta get mine. Day 52.

[Patrick Cloud]

Still gotta get it.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't have mines yet. Will. I'm Jake.

[Patrick Cloud]

Got some of mines.

[Matt Rogers]

Don't kill a little bit of mine today.

[Bowen Yang]

Dear diary, I feel like I got about 10% of mines.

[Matt Rogers]

Saw mines today. Didn't get.

[Patrick Cloud]

Get it.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Also, Chad didn't say hi to me online.

[Matt Rogers]

This goes into regular diary.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm really upset they fired Coach Malone.

[Patrick Cloud]

You still call him coach. That's how brainwashed the NBA. He's still a coach.

[Matt Rogers]

He got a championship.

[Patrick Cloud]

His mic.

[Bowen Yang]

Now Bill Jackson is still coaching.

[Matt Rogers]

Coach, would you get fired?

[Bowen Yang]

Yes, you do, coach, you get forever. It's like Esquire.

[Matt Rogers]

Nah, I mean, if you lose your. Well, if you lose your medical degree, but if you retire from being a doctor, you're still a doctor. Right?

[Bowen Yang]

That's what I'm saying.

[Matt Rogers]

I guess you can't say that.

[Patrick Cloud]

He didn't retire, though.

[Bowen Yang]

No, he got.

[Patrick Cloud]

They asked him to leave.

[Matt Rogers]

That's like a form, right?

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't know. He may never work again. And now y'all are just calling a dude at. At Ralph's.

[Bowen Yang]

Coach, why are you so mad at Coach Malone?

[Patrick Cloud]

I just don't care for the Denver Nuggets as a total.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what it is. All right, let it out.

[Matt Rogers]

If you get fired, that's fair. But then if so you're not a coach until somebody hires you again.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think that's right, man.

[Bowen Yang]

That's like you're nobody till somebody kills you. He's a coach.

[Patrick Cloud]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

What other titles work like that? Teacher.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

You can't say You're a judge.

[Bowen Yang]

I feel like, besides nobility, I feel like all titles work that way, and.

[Patrick Cloud]

That'S what's fucked up. And I think you're buying into a bunch of, like, noble, weird.

[Bowen Yang]

No, you just don't like the Nuckies.

[Patrick Cloud]

No.

[Matt Rogers]

Artists get fired. You can't say. Because, I mean, you can't, like, fire a painter and be like, damn, I can't be.

[Patrick Cloud]

If they refer to Bill Cosby, do they go, comedian Bill Cosby. Do they say actor Bill Cosby? They say that stuff, right? They still give him the title. I'm saying that we should reach a point as a society where we're willing to remove titles from the bad guys. Guys, Coach Mike Malone is a bad guy.

[Bowen Yang]

That's crazy. What are you doing? He's not a bad guy. You going nuts for no reason. You just compared Malone to Cosby.

[Matt Rogers]

Cosby was crazy, yo.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's great. He's not a doctor to me and he's not a coach to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bowen Yang]

No, no, no, no. You're going nuts. You're going nuts on a fit of light skinned rage. And we all see it.

[Matt Rogers]

I think you can be a coach out of work, just like you can could. You could be a teacher out of work.

[Bowen Yang]

Of course you can.

[Matt Rogers]

You can get fired.

[Bowen Yang]

What you are.

[Matt Rogers]

It's what you learn.

[Patrick Cloud]

Cowards is what I hear. Let's get into these voicemails. Y'all don't want to see progress. Okay, we got a voicemail. I don't know what it's about. We'll find out together. Here we go.

[Matt Rogers]

What up, big mamas? I feel like if we're little mamas, it's only right to channel on our big mamas. Anyway, I saw on Tick Tock, this dude, the young black dude, he was saying that when he goes to the gym after a week, he sees, like, major results. And that's because he's black. And under the comments, a lot of black people were like, yeah, it doesn't take much for me to, like, get cut, see results. So my question is, are black people built different? Like, are we naturally cut? Are we naturally muscular? Are we naturally athletic? All right, bye. I think that's a lot of different questions.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, she kind of attacked a bunch of at the end.

[Bowen Yang]

I have heard the genetics of, like, weight. I have heard that in terms of the genetics of weightlifting. Yeah, I've heard that, like, argument before. And even talking to my little brother who was like, a pretty high level gymnast. This is, like, recently he Was like, yeah, I just built. He was like, I built muscle really fast. Cause we're African. And I didn't even ever like. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, I think genetics plays a part in it.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's like, I've been lifting a lot, like, this last, like, four or five months, and I've gained a bunch of muscle really quick. I remember, like, in school and stuff. So I.

[Patrick Cloud]

You sort of believe this.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, there seems to be. The proof is in the pudding a little bit.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think it's literally black and white. Cause I know that there are other ethnicities that are also, just because of the people in their family, are naturally, like, athletic and have good metabolism or can build muscle because of their actual family. But I think it does go back to genetics because, you know, people in Africa are strong as hell, you know, athletic as fuck, bro.

[Bowen Yang]

And it's like, to speak of the nuggets, you're gonna tell me Nikola Jokic doesn't work as hard as Dwight Howard, but look at the bodies.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. Those bodies are completely different and will be forever.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

You know what I mean? Like, there's never gonna be a point. Wherever time syncs up and their bodies match, that motherfucker gonna look like that, and he gonna look like that. They never seeing each other or, like, look at Luka. Yeah. Luka.

[Bowen Yang]

There's a ton of, like, more physically whatever than him. But.

[Patrick Cloud]

And. And I don't. I don't love this one, but. But I struggle to think of a white NBA player in any version of it that. Truly an athletic, like, phenomenon.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

You know what I mean? Like, where just. They were like, yo, we've never seen a person move in.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh. Like, in terms of being an athlete, like, how they're like, Bo Jackson. You're like, there's not another.

[Patrick Cloud]

It doesn't exist. Yeah. Steve Nash is an exceptional athlete, but it's not like you're like, yo, I've never seen anybody move like that.

[Bowen Yang]

Right.

[Patrick Cloud]

We have examples of it in the black community.

[Bowen Yang]

Right. And then you hear about people talking about, like, Michael Beasley, like, what he could do.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. Where you're like, oh, he was such a freak that he. They. People were, like, scared to be in the gym with him type.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Scared to be in the gym with him.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. He wasn't a reasonable man. He'd jump over you, bite your neck.

[Matt Rogers]

I. I believe if I were more educated on genetics, I could probably give a better. Because it's. It's a lot of other stuff that I don't really know about, but I feel like genetics plays a big part.

[Patrick Cloud]

Well, here's what I'll say. And, and I'm also not age learned man as far as genetics, but I will say that I think we are probably discounting how much of this is built through experience and, and affected our genetics more than it is. Like we were like bred different than this other race of people.

[Matt Rogers]

Sure.

[Patrick Cloud]

That like, if you enslave people and if you force people to build even the things that we've built the way that we've had to build them, it probably makes your body different than the alternative, which is sitting back for a fair amount of it kind of hanging out as civilization built itself around you.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I believe that. I think it's just like anything, whenever a people does one certain thing for a long time, they're going to develop a skill for it. There's no, there's no. That's why there's a lot of hardworking Mexican people. There's like a lot of hardworking Asian people because historically they had to do a lot of stuff. So that just was passed down, passed down, passed down. And that's just how it is now. But I think making it a blanket statement is where we go wrong. And it's just like black people, they automatically build more muscle. Cause then you just have a black kid be like, I'll build more muscle than you, and then some buff ass white dude builds more muscle. Like, it's not every. It's not everybody.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

There was an era in America where, where we had fully convinced people that like every black dude could fight better than them.

[Bowen Yang]

And the fallout of that has been difficult.

[Patrick Cloud]

They don't believe that at all anymore. And it's been tough to watch.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, man. The social currency on that has run out.

[Matt Rogers]

And that has been absolutely.

[Bowen Yang]

And that's been tough.

[Matt Rogers]

White people don't even think that anymore.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, that's tough. That's. Honestly, I don't love it. No, I don't love it.

[Patrick Cloud]

That MMA shit ushered in a new era. For real though, where they were like, nah, you don't scare me at all.

[Matt Rogers]

I've seen a bunch of street fights on Twitter where it's like, I guess everybody assumed the black dude knew how to fight because he was like, you know, come on then. And then you see the stance of that white boy and you like, oh, he's trained. He's not worried about that shit at all.

[Bowen Yang]

Conor McGregor got him all gassed, the.

[Matt Rogers]

Boy who just won.

[Bowen Yang]

Patty. Yeah, and he eats bad too, man. Honestly, if it was a black government, I say they should have took out McGregor like they took out Dr. King. You need to nip that in the butt.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's real.

[Bowen Yang]

We got. We cannot have these white boys out here thinking they can fight, bro. That's a problem. It is.

[Patrick Cloud]

He's inspiring the wrong generation.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, man. They already got a loneliness epidemic. You stack fighting on top of that, It's.

[Matt Rogers]

I was kind of hoping, like, the super, super racist people were, like, old, fat and can't really move drunk. Yeah, but you. You get a bunch of, like, Conor McGregor marching, bro.

[Patrick Cloud]

They like it now. Should we. Should we do one more?

[Bowen Yang]

They like it now.

[Patrick Cloud]

They want to get busy. Let's do one more voice.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, let's do one more.

[Patrick Cloud]

All right, this one again. We don't know what this shit is. Here we go.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm a proud little mama.

[Patrick Cloud]

Hold on. Wait a minute.

[Matt Rogers]

I did not expect to hear that today.

[Bowen Yang]

He came in. He came in too high.

[Matt Rogers]

You gotta relax, mama. That's nuts, right?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think we just got a new drop out of you. Yeah, I'm a proud little mama.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Yeah. Start that again from the top.

[Patrick Cloud]

That was crazy. When you introduce yourself.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, we got shirts.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm a proud little mama.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. It says proud little mama on the front of that.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, okay. So he didn't just make that up.

[Patrick Cloud]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Bowen Yang]

That's what we call our fans, little mamas.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I didn't know about the proud little.

[Bowen Yang]

Now they're doing this thing where they want. They're calling us little freakies. It's.

[Patrick Cloud]

It's getting fucked up around here.

[Bowen Yang]

It's a complicated relationship.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. We're sorry we invited you under these difficult circumstances.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, that's crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

It is.

[Patrick Cloud]

It was. All right, here we go.

[Bowen Yang]

I'm a proud little mama and my mama told me as I was growing up it was wrong to jack up off to touch myself.

[Matt Rogers]

That's the end of the voicemail. Wait a minute, man. His mom fucked him up. I thought that nigga hung up. God damn.

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, no.

[Bowen Yang]

Whatever he says next is going to be great.

[Patrick Cloud]

Why is he talking like that?

[Bowen Yang]

He's excited. He's excited to talk to us.

[Patrick Cloud]

He's talking like Dr. King about. Without being told not to jack off.

[Bowen Yang]

Can you replay him saying, my mama told me not to jack off? Just the way he said it was very Said.

[Matt Rogers]

He sounded like Martin Luther King.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. Listen to him.

[Bowen Yang]

Me, as I was growing up, that it was wrong to jack off to touch myself. That's a Drop. That is a drop.

[Matt Rogers]

For what? For this. Come on, man.

[Bowen Yang]

I wish I could press.

[Patrick Cloud]

Have you heard our drops already? They're not good. Yeah, So I got dick in the face. Cross Craig, see if he's okay.

[Bowen Yang]

See, that's better than that.

[Matt Rogers]

What did he say?

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I. I'll do it one more time. Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Somebody got dick in the face. Craig, see if he's okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Dick in person.

[Bowen Yang]

Dick in the face. Said somebody got dick in the face.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Dick was the person.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, I'm not sure.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think somebody got dick in the face.

[Matt Rogers]

He got dick in the face. It's crazy.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. I think we always took it very literally.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

We never put any thought into it.

[Matt Rogers]

Somebody got dick in the face. I hope he's okay. Go check on it.

[Patrick Cloud]

That's a great question. You're a more reasonable man.

[Matt Rogers]

He's still down.

[Patrick Cloud]

There's still dick all over him. All right, we're going to keep playing this. I pray we make it to the end, because this is insane.

[Bowen Yang]

And ejaculate. Growing up as a young male, a young black male. So I wonder why is it so what about that in the black culture is so bad, you understand? Because it's natural. So maybe you guys should touch on that.

[Patrick Cloud]

Hilarious.

[Bowen Yang]

Help a little. Help some. Help some lonely black children out. You understand?

[Matt Rogers]

All right. He didn't have to say, yeah, that was crazy, bro.

[Bowen Yang]

You gotta. That end was bad.

[Patrick Cloud]

What happened at the end?

[Matt Rogers]

Not that such. On that.

[Patrick Cloud]

That was crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

That was not good.

[Patrick Cloud]

The help some little lonely, lonely black children out. What was that?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. I don't know if you should answer this now.

[Patrick Cloud]

I am worried about this fella.

[Bowen Yang]

I liked him and then I stopped liking him.

[Patrick Cloud]

His mama told him not to jack off and not to ejaculate.

[Matt Rogers]

That's crazy.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, you can't have one without the other, right?

[Patrick Cloud]

You can, but it's not good for you.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't know that I believe at all in, like, this semen retention theory, that this somehow makes you a stronger, more virile person. That all feels like bamboozlement to me, personally.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's a weird bamboozle, man. Like, what do they get out of you not jacking up?

[Patrick Cloud]

I think. I think it's a bunch of dudes who can't get theirs most the time and they want other people to be where they're at.

[Matt Rogers]

Interesting.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. And that's what we need, more frustrated young men. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

There's a bunch of niggas who can't nut. That's like, hey, y'all join us.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, we're stronger now. Yeah. I think it's so weird.

[Matt Rogers]

Clarity.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah. Maybe. Maybe you can't nut because you. You can't get pussy. Maybe you can't nut because you take so many drugs that you've sort of, like, made yourself raw down there and it doesn't move the way it should.

[Bowen Yang]

Or maybe you're just anxious. Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Maybe there's all kinds of anxieties or, you know, whatever the. Cause you don't nut and now you're trying to make it my problem.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Interesting. I always thought it was like fasting because you know how, like, if you do a day or so without, like, eating, you actually do get some clarity that I could actually be like, oh, okay, that's true. So.

[Bowen Yang]

And then it makes the food taste really good. Yeah, exactly. Like.

[Matt Rogers]

He hasn't done 10 days.

[Patrick Cloud]

Pipe. He like, oh, pretty good.

[Matt Rogers]

That's crazy. I. Yeah. I mean, I feel like he was just kind of, like, misled a little bit.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't know.

[Patrick Cloud]

It certainly is an unfortunate experience you went through, sir. And. And I'm sorry it happened.

[Matt Rogers]

I never heard that as a black thing. I've never heard of, like, black parents telling their kids that I think it's a man thing.

[Bowen Yang]

I had a single mom when I started jacking off and there was no talk about any of that.

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, we didn't talk about it.

[Bowen Yang]

It did not come up. Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

One way or the other.

[Patrick Cloud]

I. I don't know if she knew.

[Bowen Yang]

But of course she knew.

[Patrick Cloud]

You know what I mean? I don't know, like, how actively she knew.

[Matt Rogers]

I think they knew everything we were doing.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Because if you look at a kid lying now, it's like, come on, bro, if I looked anything like that, that.

[Bowen Yang]

You knew everything, and you're 12, taking 45 minute showers three times a day. She knew you were jacked. Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That's what y'all was doing.

[Bowen Yang]

I don't think. Bro, I don't think my mom got a Victoria's Secret from 96 to 04.

[Matt Rogers]

I started with Sears. When I was in kindergarten, I got a Sears.

[Patrick Cloud]

Sears was a good one for me. They had that. The bathing suit section worked out pretty good. And they had the lingerie section. Not as sexy as Victoria's Secret, but you could get yours.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you know what? To that dude's point, though, I think you can get jaded to it because with all, like, the porn and honestly, I think you can just get jaded from actually having sex too much too. But I think that when you think about it like that, like Sears magazine and Victoria's Secret was crazy to jack off, too. Like, if you tried to do that now. I don't.

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

It would do nothing. I feel like I would just be.

[Bowen Yang]

Like, yeah, Tyra had a couple pages that are really burnt in my memory. I can.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think I could do a Sears channel. There's one title.

[Patrick Cloud]

There's one that I Sears, I might struggle with a little bit.

[Matt Rogers]

This is. It's kind of weird. I don't know if I could do, like, even just pictures.

[Bowen Yang]

It used to be some. I used to do my brain.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

What you mean? That's thinking of stuff.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, but even. That's more active than just staring at a photo, you know?

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

That's weird, actually. I would actually rather maybe let me.

[Bowen Yang]

Go back to analog.

[Patrick Cloud]

I think maybe we all got to get back to our natural selves, you.

[Bowen Yang]

Know what I mean?

[Patrick Cloud]

You start. You just start easy. You go back to jerking off to a Sears catalog.

[Bowen Yang]

And if anybody at Sears is listening and you want, you know, some kind of a brand deal situation, you guys.

[Patrick Cloud]

Have been struggling lately. We know that.

[Bowen Yang]

And we can bring you back.

[Patrick Cloud]

We're willing to do the work to bring Sears back.

[Matt Rogers]

Crazy pivot.

[Patrick Cloud]

Crazy pivot.

[Matt Rogers]

It'd be a wild Sears pivot, bro.

[Patrick Cloud]

This is the magazine to jerk off to. And his full suit.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause you know what? I do think. Think that that jacking off does not lead to feeling bad about yourself the way that Internet pornography does.

[Patrick Cloud]

I agree.

[Bowen Yang]

Sometimes you jack off with Internet porn, you're like, what the was that? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's like you just got out of a fight. You're like, I didn't even know I had that move.

[Patrick Cloud]

I didn't want to be there.

[Matt Rogers]

What moves are you surprising yourself?

[Bowen Yang]

Come on, man. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. That's not what we're talking about.

[Matt Rogers]

One thing I've never did was surprise myself during masturbation.

[Bowen Yang]

You never went down a rap rabbit hole. And you were like, how did I even get.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you mean in terms of categories?

[Patrick Cloud]

I don't think it means, like, turning his head.

[Matt Rogers]

He said, I didn't know that move. I was like, my boy blacked out and started experimenting on himself. Surprised himself. What was that?

[Bowen Yang]

Thought it was spin.

[Matt Rogers]

Judging his head. Like, what was that? You way too much. That you whore. Please.

[Patrick Cloud]

Just clicking on weird shit.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. But to that point, if you want to stop feeling bad about yourself, after you masturbate, come to Sears.

[Patrick Cloud]

And it's nice because you can work your way up through the catalog. Right. You can jerk off to the. You start at lingerie, then maybe bikini, and then by the. You know, at some point, you're jerking off to fucking pantsuit. And now.

[Bowen Yang]

And now you've developed a respect.

[Patrick Cloud]

Now you know how to treat a lady.

[Bowen Yang]

Cause are you jerking off to a pantsuit or are you jerking off to ambition?

[Matt Rogers]

You're jerking off to her position in life.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Now you're a powerful one.

[Patrick Cloud]

Oh, yeah, we're talking about progress here, Sears.

[Matt Rogers]

I feel like you might want to do it in reverse. Start with the pantsuit. You know what I mean? Undress her literally.

[Bowen Yang]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

They're different women, but still, were they different, I feel like as a producer, I would just be like, wear all three of these and I'll use you three times.

[Patrick Cloud]

I'm not paying for a separate pantsuit lady.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Bowen Yang]

I mean, how much was it? I think they just gave him a Sears, like, wear all the cards, put.

[Matt Rogers]

All this on, and slowly take it up. I'll put it in five pages.

[Patrick Cloud]

All right, let's lose the jacket.

[Bowen Yang]

But then you're gonna have a whole generation of men whose fantasies is like, baby, put on the bikini under the pantsuit.

[Patrick Cloud]

Look, we're never gonn be great.

[Bowen Yang]

No, that's true. That's a good point.

[Patrick Cloud]

We're fundamentally broken, but we could. At least we could make some progress here if we jerk off this mental stimulation. Yeah, that's right.

[Matt Rogers]

At the end of the day, we're making.

[Bowen Yang]

Damn. We really covered a lot of ground. I think, like, in the. In the 40 minutes since we. This has started, we really.

[Patrick Cloud]

We really kind of went everywhere.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And came back to chicken a few times.

[Patrick Cloud]

We hit the whole thing. Few stops where they do good chicken, but we ate the whole thing.

[Matt Rogers]

I want to say chicken. It was legitimately mentioned, like, four or five times. Not even, like, hey, bringing it back. You know, like a running joke. It was, like, good. They were good segments.

[Patrick Cloud]

What if you find out we do that every episode, somehow incorporate chicken.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah. Like at the end, we're like, my mama told you it's been brought to.

[Patrick Cloud]

You by the Tyson company chicken counter.

[Matt Rogers]

17 times we said chicken. 17 times.

[Patrick Cloud]

Give us our chicken. You pay us in chicken.

[Bowen Yang]

It's just a great lean protein source. And I'm not even being paid to say that. It's just. It is good.

[Matt Rogers]

That sounded hella paid.

[Bowen Yang]

That sounded.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, that sounded so paid for?

[Bowen Yang]

No, I got Big Chicken's got that.

[Matt Rogers]

Great lean protein source.

[Patrick Cloud]

Patrick, could you tell the people where they can find you what cool shit you got going on?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, I'm Patrick Cloud on mainly everything. I got a lot of stuff dropping on all def. Make sure you check out school lunch. We actually just did a collab with McDonald's that went really, really well, so please check that out. I also have a gaming channel called Cloudy Arcade that I've been working on. And check out we trippin'I. Just dropped a new travel episode of my travel show in Utah. So go check that out. We trippin Utah.

[Bowen Yang]

You go to Zion?

[Matt Rogers]

I did.

[Bowen Yang]

Nice. How was it?

[Matt Rogers]

Zion was really, really cool. I didn't know until the second time I went to Utah that people get out and do stuff. But you know how there's like a. You drive in and there's like a road you're supposed to take? But yeah, I would definitely wanna come back when it was snowing, but I.

[Bowen Yang]

Went in like spring, that part of the country, man. Just. I know that from driving out. Cause I'm from Denver. Driving out of Colorado into California, it's like crazy.

[Matt Rogers]

It's insane.

[Bowen Yang]

Beautiful Utah.

[Matt Rogers]

It looks like Mars.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's wild. It's wild.

[Patrick Cloud]

I keep going to Salt Lake City and eating at McDonald's.

[Matt Rogers]

So I. I went to Salt Lake City the first time and I was like, okay. I kind of see what people are talking about. But it's like when you go to. I can only speak for southern Utah, but that's. That's where everybody really, like, falls in love with the, like the Utah South. I suggest everybody go, yeah, what you got?

[Bowen Yang]

I'll be in Colorado. Cool guy jokes. 87 on Instagram. Patreon.com davidbouri by my special Birth of a Nation, April 24th and 25th, I will be at the Dallas Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas. Come out June 15th. I'm gonna be at Littlefield in Brooklyn, New York. I need you to sell it out so I can keep coming back to New York.

[Patrick Cloud]

Hell yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

Yeah.

[Patrick Cloud]

You can follow me, Langston Kerman on all social media platforms. You can watch my special. It's called Bad Poetry. It's on Netflix. You can see us live in New Orleans.

[Bowen Yang]

Oh, May 8th through 11th.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah.

[Bowen Yang]

At the Toledano Street Comedy Festival.

[Patrick Cloud]

Yeah, we'll be down there in New Orleans. Not doing a my mama told me pod, but we will, just in case.

[Bowen Yang]

We probably could.

[Patrick Cloud]

We probably. We do.

[Matt Rogers]

You guys tour the show.

[Patrick Cloud]

We have We've had a couple tours. Yeah, we've done two tours so far. Served our nation well. And yeah, we might fuck around and figure out another one at some point. But come see us live. And more importantly, send us your own drops, your own conspiracies. If you want to tell us how many more times we could have incorporated chicken, send it all to mamapodmail.com would love to hear from you. We could have done better and we.

[Matt Rogers]

Want to know how we could have thrown some chicken.

[Patrick Cloud]

We want to hear your thoughts. Also give us a call at 844 Lil Moms leave us weird ass voicemails. We'd like to hear from you and and buy the merch. Call your senator Rate Review Subscribe Bye. Do you have your passport?

[Matt Rogers]

Did you get your shots, girl?

[Bowen Yang]

Would you like to come back with Rob to America? America America.

[Patrick Cloud]

My Mama Told Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Podcast, created.

[Bowen Yang]

And hosted by Langston Kernan, co hosted by David Bore, executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wayne Edited and engineered by Justin Kahman Music by Nick Chambers Artwork by Dogon Krieger.

[Patrick Cloud]

You can now watch episodes of My Mama told me on YouTube, follow at my Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.

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[JLO Beauty]

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[Matt Rogers]

I get it.

[JLO Beauty]

I'm so ready for the beach. It's CheapCaribbean.com's semiannual sale. One of the best times for you to save an extra $200 site wide on vacation packages of four nights or more. So let's bounce.

[Matt Rogers]

Good.

[JLO Beauty]

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[Bowen Yang]

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[Matt Rogers]

Do they ever actually clean the ball pit at these kids play gyms? Or is my kid just swimming in a vat of bacteria, catching whatever cootie of the day is breeding in there? A cootie that'll probably take down our whole family.

[Bowen Yang]

Luckily, with Amazon One Medical 24. 7 Virtual Care, you can get checked out for whatever ball pittitis you've contracted. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.