My Momma Told Me – "White Man Can't Cook"

Hosts: Langston Kerman & David Gborie
Date: November 13, 2025
Podcast Theme: Black conspiracy theories, pop culture, humor

Episode Overview

The episode "White Man Can't Cook" explores the Black conspiracy theory that white American food—and perhaps white people's cooking skills—have atrophied over time. Drawing on viral cooking videos, regional food differences, and cultural shifts, comedians Langston and David riff, theorize, and joke about why so many white American dishes are punchlines, and what that says about race, history, and food in America. They also consider whether this stereotype is fair, where it comes from, and what it would take for everyone to claim pride in their food.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kicking It Off: Conspiracies & Possessions

Timestamps: 02:33–09:13

• The hosts banter about doomsday prepping, the Dionne Warwick song conspiracy, and whether ghosts and possessions are devilish or just “rogue souls.”
• They joke about possession:
  • Langston: “Should I be possessed? I'm not fighting it. I am embracing it.” [08:27]
  • David: "I always thought the devil goes into you and then you’re like sleeping or something...As a kid, that was the thing I was most afraid of." [08:47]

2. The Main Theory: White People’s Cooking Has "Atrophied"

Timestamps: 12:46–13:35, 18:48–24:03

• Langston introduces his "homegrown conspiracy":
  • "White people cooking has outro feed," meaning American white folks’ cooking skills have faded. [13:05]
  • Both hosts are fascinated by viral videos where white home cooks post unusual, often unappetizing meals (ground beef with pudding, microwaved chicken).
• David on the spectacle:
  • “Somehow they make it into a jello mold. And you’re like, this is fucked up.” [14:00]
• They observe that cooking is central to cultural identity, yet American whiteness seems to lack strong food traditions.

3. Regional & International Variations

Timestamps: 15:00–16:08, 21:25–24:30

• Not all “white food” is the same—the hosts note regional and global differences:
  • "I think it’s an American thing," David says, suggesting white Americans have lost cooking skills, while white people abroad (some of them, anyway) can cook. [15:00]
  • British and Scandinavian food (beans on bread, etc.) are roundly roasted.
  • Regional rankings are proposed: South is best, followed by Northeast, West Coast, and finally the Midwest (“Midwest is the worst at cooking.” – David, 22:07)
  • Langston defends Midwestern portion sizes: “We serve you the portions you deserve.” [31:09]

4. Why Did White Cooking Fade?

Timestamps: 19:11–21:25, 25:00–26:33, 38:18–41:53

• Langston speculates on historical roots:
  • After desegregation, white Americans were required to cook for black people in public spaces and possibly “stopped putting their best foot forward.” [20:10]
  • “I’m not serving this Black motherfucker my favorite dish. Come on. Fuck you. I’m a boil chicken and you’ll eat it that way or I won’t serve it at all." – Langston [20:22]
• David doubts it was ever intentional: “I think the market got flooded with superior product.” [42:10]

5. Stereotypes & Reality: Is It Lazy, or Just Bad?

Timestamps: 44:55–46:55

• The idea that “white people just got lazy” is challenged.
  • David: “I think that maybe that idea is kind of based more on white supremacy than I want it to be…the lazy thing…is like, yep, we got on top and now we’re lazy...as opposed to maybe they're just people who are fucking up.” [44:55]
• Langston notes that stereotypes run both ways, and that plenty of Black people he knows can't cook.

6. The Place of High-End (Michelin) Food

Timestamps: 28:16–30:42, 49:20–50:22

• Michelin stars, fine dining, and taste–is it just white foodie snobbery?
  • David appreciates high-end food but says, “Sometimes with food, like in fancy restaurants, I feel like it’s complicated more than it’s good.” [29:44]
  • Langston says if the meal isn’t filling, it’s not good: “You giving me blue balls of the Tum Tum." [30:45]
• They joke about who decides what’s great food:
  • “Who’s Michelin? A big old fluffy white man is giving out those awards.” – Langston [49:29]

7. Viral Cooking Fails, “Daring” (But Bad) Experimentation & Family Heritage

Timestamps: 27:20–28:16, 46:51–48:23

• Trying to reconstruct why some white families' food is so deeply unappealing, and how food traditions (good or bad) are inherited.
  • "It's just daring. It's just not in a good way. Have you ever had...sweet rice salad thing that they do? It's dumb.” – David [27:41]
  • Langston recounts his dad’s “tomato chicken” (canned tomatoes and plain chicken breast), beloved as a child, now regarded as “the act of a man just trying to keep it together for a boy.” [47:51]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On homemade viral white cooking:
  "There are those videos…of Black people watching white people cook weird meals…a lot of, like, ground beef, then with cheese, then with, like, pudding, and it’s like, what the fuck?"
  — Langston, [13:35]

• On cultural priorities:
  "Some of us just make you laugh and eat you out…and that's—thank God for us. I would say more valuable than those who punch you in the head."
  — Langston, [12:22]

• On regional U.S. food:
  "Midwest is the worst at cooking."
  — David, [22:07]

  "We serve you the portions you deserve."
  — Langston, [31:09]

• On ‘fine dining’ vs. comfort food:
  "Sometimes with food, like in fancy restaurants, I feel like it’s complicated more than it’s good…didn’t come together as good as, like, that quesadilla I had across town."
  — David, [29:44]

  "You giving me blue balls of the Tum Tum."
  — Langston, [30:45]

• On food identity and honesty:
  "White people would benefit from being more honest about their relationship with their own food. And then subsequently, maybe…they can learn to actually embrace the cultures around them by first acknowledging, like, hey, we've been putting up shit numbers."
  — Langston, [50:31]

• On the social realities of buffets:
  "There's not one place I would rather be drunk less than a buffet, bro. Like, so sad."
  — David, [40:15]

Most Important Segments (Timestamps)

• 02:33–09:13: Opener; ghost/devil/possession banter.
• 12:46–15:00: Introduction of "white people cooking has atrophied" and reactions to viral white cooking.
• 19:11–21:25: Theory about desegregation's impact on white American cooking.
• 22:07–24:30: Regional food rankings and discussion.
• 28:16–30:42: Michelin stars, fancy food, and the importance of being full.
• 38:18–41:53: Bulk cooking vs. good cooking; buffet culture.
• 44:55–46:55: Debating laziness, stereotypes, and social factors.
• 49:20–50:22: Calling out the 'Michelin man' as culinary gatekeeper.
• 47:51–48:55: Langston’s nostalgic tale of “tomato chicken.”

Tone & Style

The episode is irreverent, fast-moving, and full of jokes. Both hosts use personal anecdotes and hyperbole to question and complicate the idea that “white people can’t cook,” all while keeping things playful and self-aware. There’s an undercurrent of real sociological curiosity beneath the mockery, with a fondness for cultural quirks, culinary “fails,” and the joy (or trauma) of eating whatever your parents thought was dinner.

Takeaways

• The trope that white Americans can’t cook has roots in history, regional differences, and changing foodways (and, perhaps, in the viral spectacle of tasteless recipes).
• Stereotypes—like all generalizations—aren’t absolute. There are great cooks (and bad ones) of all backgrounds, but food is deeply tied to culture, memory, and community.
• The path to better food might involve more honesty—and a willingness to let go of tomato chicken and unearned Michelin stars.

Find more or send your own food conspiracies:
my Mama Pot (podcast email)

Follow the hosts:

• Langston Kerman: @langstonkerman
• David Gborie: @coolguyjokes87