Podcast Summary: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani

Episode: Becoming the Leader We Need with Governor Kathy Hochul
Date: October 8, 2025
Host: Reshma Saujani (with contributions from Tamsen Fadal)
Guest: Governor Kathy Hochul

Episode Overview

This episode features a heartfelt and honest conversation between Reshma Saujani and New York Governor Kathy Hochul, exploring what it means to lead—and live—authentically at midlife. Governor Hochul shares stories from her humble roots, her journey through motherhood and public service, and how partnership, risk-taking, and gratitude underpin her leadership. The episode is rich with advice for women balancing career and caregiving, and it dives into urgent topics like child care, economic opportunity, technology, and fostering connection in a digital age.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Being at Peace with Midlife

• Governor Hochul expresses contentment with her stage in life, reflecting on pressures she faced as a young mother and public servant.
• Quote: "I've never felt more at peace with my time in life and my age and everything else...I say whatever I want to anybody...I feel like I'm just myself." — Governor Hochul (04:45)

2. Humble Beginnings and Family Influence

• Hochul recounts growing up in a working-class, Irish-American family in Buffalo, experiencing poverty and stigma.
• Her mother's dedication to community service and inclusion (including creating summer camps for migrant worker children and hosting students and kids with mental health challenges) deeply shaped Hochul’s values.
• Quote: "[My mother] was just trying to put this together so these kids had healthy activity when their parents were either on the farms or working in the steel plant." — Governor Hochul (08:19)

3. Resilience and Perseverance

• The Governor reflects on how her upbringing built resilience and a drive to serve others.
• As an adult, returning to her old neighborhood and engaging with residents keeps her grounded.
• Quote: "There’s a kind of pervasive humility that underscores everything I do... It normalizes me to them, but it also reminds me I am still normal, too." — Governor Hochul (11:48)

4. Breaking Barriers and Gaining Confidence as a Woman in Public Service

• Hochul admits she lacked confidence early in her political career, only running for office after seeing a less-qualified young man put himself forward.
• Quote: "This lack of confidence in myself—and many women suffer from this—was what was holding me back. Not my resume, not my ability." — Governor Hochul (15:10)
• She encourages women (and mothers) to model risk-taking and perseverance.

5. Work-Life Balance and the Role of Partnership

• Honest conversation about “doing it all”: Hochul shares her guilt as a working mom, details her reliance on her husband’s active partnership, and emphasizes the importance of raising independent adults, not just kids.
• Quote: "Your job is not to raise kids, it's to raise adults." — Governor Hochul (24:11)
• She is candid about her husband’s crucial support, both practically and emotionally.
• Quote: "[My husband] protects me and allows me to just burst out of that because he's, you know, he's my support system. But I know that's a rarity in life." — Governor Hochul (28:45)

6. Changing Cultural and Corporate Attitudes Toward Caregiving

• Discussion about societal progress around men and caregiving, including Hochul's implementation of four-month paid parental leave for all genders in the state chamber.
• Quote: "It's so damaging [to discourage men from caregiving]...I'm so happy [men are taking leave]: the men and women are taking it equally." — Governor Hochul (29:32)

7. Practical Leadership and Serving Others

• Hochul highlights the importance of humility, service, and being “the adult in the room” in turbulent times.
• Quote: "I relish the role of being the adult in the room when things are chaotic...And I always say to a lot of people, people are anxious...I said, listen, I've got this, we've got this." — Governor Hochul (35:22)

8. Childcare, Affordability, and Policy

• The Governor recalls her own struggles to afford quality childcare, a challenge she says remains all too common today.
• She details raising the income threshold for child care subsidies, championing workplace child care, and urging employers to provide support.
• Quote: "The cost is two things, availability and affordability...We need more facilities built, and a lot of them shut down during the pandemic." — Governor Hochul (41:32)
• She observes that more business leaders are now recognizing the importance of childcare—often after seeing their own daughters struggle.
• Quote: "I started seeing more business leaders...They wanted to solve this because they're starting to see their daughters struggle." — Governor Hochul (45:45)

9. Opportunity, Economic Mobility, and Youth

• Discussion about the anxiety among younger generations about unclear career prospects, given economic uncertainty and the rise of AI.
• Hochul describes New York's investment in AI for public good (Empire AI), advanced manufacturing, and quantum computing, aiming to create opportunities for young people and solve societal challenges.
• Quote: "We have something called Empire AI...using AI for public good...so we can be leading the nation in that kind of work." — Governor Hochul (50:26)

10. Restoring Connection in a Digital World

• The latter half focuses on fostering social connection, especially among youth increasingly isolated by screens and algorithms.
• Hochul proudly discusses New York’s bell-to-bell school cell phone ban to promote real human interactions and the state's moves to restrict addictive algorithms.
• Quote: "What I'm doing by saying no cell from bell to bell the entire day—my students, our students are going to be smarter, more educated, more well adjusted, and have human relationships and connections..." — Governor Hochul (53:16)
• She celebrates girls developing tech solutions for mental health, highlighting why diverse voices are crucial in tech.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Confidence and Representation:
  "I'd rather see more 22 year old young women have that [confidence]...Mine was non existent until I started going up the ladder realizing I'm the one holding me back." — Kathy Hochul (15:10)
• On Parenting and Influence:
  "Don't underestimate the power of your words in front of your children. When you convey a belief in their potential, they internalize that." — Kathy Hochul (31:37)
• On Partnership:
  "[My husband] would cut out newspaper clippings critical of me...before I could see them. He still protects me today." — Kathy Hochul (27:46)
• On Taking Risks and Failure:
  "How do you know? I'm willing to take a risk and find out. I don’t know. But I know one thing—I'll never get that opportunity if I don't at least try for it." — Kathy Hochul (17:25)
• On Working Moms and Guilt:
  "I get a little bit of mom guilt...my kids were 4 and 5 when I ran, I dragged them knocking on doors...But your job is not to raise kids, it's to raise adults." — Kathy Hochul (23:48)
• On Societal Change:
  "It’s always been viewed as, well, you’re the one who decided to have a family, you figure it out. Whereas now, it is society’s problem and also our business." — Kathy Hochul (47:08)
• On Youth, Technology, and Empathy:
  “These girls, high school girls, came up with an app that if you’re feeling down...you go to this app...happy images, and information how to get help...That’s why we need more young women in this space.” — Kathy Hochul (54:44)

Noteworthy Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:45 | Governor Hochul on being at peace with midlife and herself. | | 08:19 | Describes her mother's example of community service. | | 11:48 | On humility and returning to her Buffalo roots. | | 15:10 | Lacking confidence as a woman in public office; the “aha moment” to run. | | 24:11 | "Your job is to raise adults, not kids." | | 27:46 | Partnership: husband protecting her from criticism and supporting her career. | | 35:22 | Taking pride in being the “adult in the room” during chaos. | | 41:32 | Policies and lived experience related to childcare and affordability. | | 45:45 | Business leaders now recognize childcare as a workforce issue due to personal impact. | | 50:26 | Empire AI: using technology for public good and investing in the future. | | 53:16 | School cell phone ban and its positive effect on student well-being. | | 54:44 | Female empathy in tech: Bronx students building a mental health app. |

Tone & Atmosphere

The conversation is warm, honest, and empowering, blending personal storytelling, policy insight, and pragmatic optimism. Governor Hochul is candid about her struggles, fiercely proud of her family and service, and deeply invested in pragmatic solutions for New Yorkers—especially women, families, and young people.

Reshma and Tamsen complement the Governor with their own reflections and humor, making the episode relatable for midlifers and anyone wrestling with questions of purpose, legacy, and leadership.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in women’s leadership, balancing work and family, social progress, and navigating middle age with courage and grace. Hochul’s journey demonstrates that authentic leadership is fueled by humility, gratitude, risk-taking, and a willingness to challenge outdated norms—both at home and in public life.

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