Podcast Summary: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani
Episode: Making Magic in Midlife
Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Reshma Saujani (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Brad Meltzer
Episode Overview
This heartfelt and thought-provoking episode features best-selling author Brad Meltzer in conversation with host Reshma Saujani as they dive deep into the challenges and opportunities of midlife. Together, they examine themes of legacy, empathy, breaking patterns of self-judgment, and the possibility of true transformation—even when life feels routine or heavy. Brad shares personal stories about his parents, the teachers who changed his life, and the inspiration behind his latest thriller, "The Viper." The conversation is filled with candid reflections, actionable advice, and encouragement for listeners to become kinder to themselves and recognize the positive impact they have on others.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Midlife Mindset: Achievements Versus Self-Compassion
[04:32–06:21]
- Reshma opens by asking Brad his current "midlife mindset."
- Brad shares that, after a transformational Hoffman retreat, he's in a phase of learning to be gentler with himself, recognizing his past was dominated by a relentless drive for achievement at the cost of self-kindness.
- “All the advice I’ve been putting in the universe has been good, solid, beautiful advice. But I don’t know if I was myself taking it because I was so busy saying it.” — Brad Meltzer [05:33]
2. Breaking Up with Self-Judgment and the Power of Listening
[06:23–08:52]
- Brad reflects on realizing that he was “bad at small talk” not because of a personality trait, but because he wasn't truly listening—unless he judged someone as "worth it."
- “People deserve to be heard. And that was advice I’m giving my kids every day. But I wasn’t taking it.” — Brad Meltzer [07:19]
- Change, he says, comes from putting away judgment and choosing to approach others with an “open heart.”
3. The Four Magic Tricks of Life: Lessons from Commencement
[07:53–14:42]
- Brad outlines the “four types of magic tricks” from his viral University of Michigan commencement address, relating each to personal growth:
- Make something appear — e.g., become your best self, encouraged by “mirrors” in your life [10:14].
- Make something disappear — not erasing fear, but harnessing it to prove skeptics wrong [11:08].
- “Don’t put your fear away. Use it and harness it. Don’t vanquish your critics. Prove them wrong.” — Brad Meltzer [11:54].
- Switch places — the magic of empathy, shown through a moving story of childhood housing insecurity and a neighbor’s mercy [12:19].
- Transformation — the hardest trick, but the one Brad feels is most crucial in midlife: continual self-improvement and openness to change.
- “You should always be looking to improve. If you think you know it all, you’re not the smartest person in the room.” — Brad Meltzer [08:41].
4. Why Empathy Feels Scarce—and How to Reignite It
[15:22–16:20]
- Reshma notes the apparent decline of empathy in today’s world.
- Brad explains empathy “overload” from constant negative information but insists that empathy is malleable:
- “All you have to do is want more empathy. That’s how it is.” — Brad Meltzer [15:22]
- He urges listeners to reopen their hearts and keep trying.
5. Finding Magic in Routine: How to Show Up As Your Real Self
[20:05–21:55]
- Reshma voices a common midlife sentiment: “now what?” as days start feeling repetitive.
- Brad advises rejecting the idea that happiness is conditional (“if I just get ___, then I’ll be happy”) and instead embracing flaws as part of being human.
- “If you’re chasing perfection, you’re going to be miserable. If you accept your flaws...that’s the fight I’m fighting right now.” — Brad Meltzer [21:55]
6. Legacy and the Power of Thanking Your ‘Ms. Spicer’
[22:09–25:21]
- Brad recounts how his ninth-grade English teacher, Miss Sheila Spicer, changed his life simply by believing in him.
- “My life was changed by Ms. Sheila Spicer...She said, ‘You can write.’ And I was like, well, everyone can write. And she’s like, nope, you know what you’re doing.” [22:09]
- He encourages everyone to thank the person who made them believe in themselves.
- “Go thank them. When you’re done listening to this podcast...you will never believe what comes from it.” — Brad Meltzer [24:06]
7. Family Legacy: Impact, Sacrifice, and Acceptance
[25:35–31:20]
- Brad shares intimate stories about his parents:
- His mother single-handedly drove local book sales for him, proving a mother’s power and pride [25:43].
- His father’s complicated legacy, including opening credit cards in Brad’s name to pay for college—a clumsy but loving attempt to protect his son from the pain he’d experienced.
- “I spent so long in my life angry at my father...that I missed the fact that my father was trying to take punches for me so that I could get out.” — Brad Meltzer [29:04–30:21]
- Discussion on inherited dreams and patterns, recognizing both the burdens and the gifts.
8. Making Peace with Difficult Parental Relationships
[33:10–36:02]
- Processing challenges with parents often comes only with time and reflection, sometimes through creativity or after loss.
- Brad uses writing as “free therapy,” discovering his own struggles embedded in his fiction, and embracing even parental flaws as necessary for creating his own “masterpiece.”
9. Brad’s New Book “The Viper” and the Hidden Stories of History
[36:02–41:08]
- “The Viper” begins with the idea of secrets hidden even from ourselves—represented by a literal suit with secrets sewn into it.
- Nola Brown, his main character, is inspired by the real-life Army Artist-in-Residence, Amy Brown, who documents war through painting, not photography—capturing emotional truth, not just moments.
- “A painting is not capturing a moment. A painting is actually a story.” — Brad Meltzer [40:37]
10. Resilience and Ritual: The “Sorry, Kiddo” Practice
[41:25–43:39]
- Brad shares his motivating daily ritual: remembering his many rejection letters before publishing success, recalling the hunger and humility of that period to keep himself grateful and grounded.
- “Every day that I sit down to write, I say to my head, ‘Sorry, kiddo.’ ... That is, to me, the secret of appreciating what you have is appreciating what you also didn’t have.” — Brad Meltzer [43:39]
Notable Quotes
-
Brad Meltzer
- “All the advice I’ve been putting in the universe has been good, solid, beautiful advice. But I don’t know if I was myself taking it because I was so busy saying it.” [05:33]
- “Don’t put your fear away. Use it and harness it. Don’t vanquish your critics. Prove them wrong.” [11:54]
- “What takes strength is actually showing empathy and kindness to people. That’s a completely naive idea, but it’s an idea worth fighting for.” [13:19]
- “You can’t make a masterpiece without those early lines—even the mistakes.” [various, see 35:47]
- “Go thank them. When you’re done listening to this podcast...you will never believe what comes from it.” [24:06]
- “Every day that I sit down to write, I say to my head, ‘Sorry, kiddo.’ ... That is, to me, the secret of appreciating what you have is appreciating what you also didn’t have.” [43:39]
-
Reshma Saujani
- “I do think my parents came as refugees. And I’m sitting here because so many people took them in, fed them, sheltered them, bathed them, hired them. And I. I do feel like we’re at a moment now. Where is that empathy still here?” [14:42]
- “Like, every day is a little like Groundhog Day. Like, you work, you caregive, you parent, rinse, repeat. Right? How do you pull off, like, the magic trick of being the best version of yourself when life feels both heavy and dull?” [20:18]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- [04:32] – Brad’s current midlife mindset and the power of gentleness
- [06:23] – Breaking away from self-judgment and learning to listen
- [07:53] – The "four types of magic tricks" as a framework for growth
- [13:19] – The importance and challenge of empathy in today’s world
- [20:05] – Facing routine and seeking authenticity in midlife
- [22:09] – Ms. Spicer and the vital legacy of encouragement
- [25:35] – Family legacy stories: mothers, fathers, pride, and pain
- [33:19] – How Brad made peace with his parents’ flaws and legacies
- [36:02] – The secrets we hide—intro to “The Viper” and Amy Brown’s real-life role
- [41:25] – “Sorry, kiddo”: Brad’s ritual to stay humble and hungry
Takeaways & Practical Encouragement
- Be kinder to yourself — Accept and even love your flaws; self-forgiveness is crucial.
- Thank the people who believed in you — Your “Ms. Spicer” can be a teacher, mentor, relative, or friend; gratitude has a profound legacy effect.
- Seek and nurture empathy — Even when the world feels harsh or overwhelming, empathy is a practice and a choice.
- Legacy is daily, not distant — Recognize the small and significant ways you impact others, even in routine.
- Stay grounded and grateful — Remembering where you started, especially through rituals or reflection, sustains resilience and passion.
Episode in a sentence:
A moving, candid dialogue about embracing your true self in midlife—flaws, fears, and all—while rediscovering the power of empathy, the value of honoring those who shaped you, and the necessity of forgiving yourself for the past.
For more:
- Brad Meltzer’s new thriller, The Viper, is out now.
- Assignment from Brad: Find and thank the person who saw the best in you.
- More from Reshma Saujani on Instagram and at Moms First US.