Podcast Summary

My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani

Episode: Revisit: Entering Our Brad Pitt Era with Margaret Cho
Date: October 15, 2025
Host: Reshma Saujani
Guest: Margaret Cho

Episode Overview

In this episode, Reshma Saujani sits down with iconic comedian, musician, and activist Margaret Cho for a refreshingly honest and joyful conversation about midlife, aging, friendships, queerness, menopause, family, and finding confidence (and fun!) in your fifties. Margaret’s unique blend of humor, wisdom, and authenticity shines as they explore what it means to “enter your Brad Pitt era”—embracing power, desirability, and self-acceptance as we age.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Midlife Mindset: Choosing Your Own Adventure

• Margaret immediately shares her positive outlook on midlife:

  “Oh, I love it. I'm having the best time. I really am so amazed at how much better my life is.” (04:26)

• She dispels the societal pressure for relationships, emphasizing fulfillment without traditional markers like marriage or constant intimacy.
• Cho opens up about redesigning her approach to relationships and cherishing long solo periods:

  “You can actually be single and happy and also have intimate relationships that don't require marriage or cohabitation.” (04:45)

• Friendships too have evolved; maintaining deep, less frequent connections and acknowledging that making new friends becomes rarer, but profound.

2. Meditation, Rituals, and Self-Kindness

• Margaret describes her social life including a meditation group where speaking isn't necessary, fostering deep, wordless intimacy:

  “I have social gatherings where we don't speak at all. And that kind of fosters a really intense intimacy.” (07:01)

• She shares a pro tip for meditation—visualizing placing distracting thoughts back on a shelf, a way to gently reclaim focus:

  “Put things back on the shelf, like, in your mind, that in itself is a kind of meditation.” (08:17)

3. “Brad Pitt Era,” Desire, and Queen Energy

• Both women remark that they feel more desired in their 50s than in their 20s, a revelation that sparks discussions of grace, confidence, and “zaddy” (sexy older person) energy:

  “We’re all Brad Pitt in the end.” (10:16)

• Cho’s advice for turning on confidence: embrace how you feel rather than what others see, use power colors (like red), and step into your sexuality for yourself:

  “It comes from, like, feeling good… stepping into the power. It's a decision that we make.” (10:40)

• Concept of “queen energy” as drawing from divine, goddess-like self-possession.

4. Health, Depression, and Daily Rituals

• Cho candidly discusses her longtime battle with depression and how, after years of different therapies and medications, physical activity, meditation, and meaningful work—including a ritual of writing one joke every morning—have been life-changing:

  “My Day begins really early...and then I write a joke. One joke every day.” (13:25)

• Notable quote & moment:

  “The joke I wrote to add to it was the strap does hit while you're wearing it. Because when you're wearing it, you're not contributing to the patriarchy. And that is really hot.” (13:37)

  • (Margaret shares one of her signature bold, body-positive jokes—showcasing humor as daily therapy.)

5. Reframing Menopause: The “Second Puberty”

• Reshma quotes Margaret:

  “I really love menopause...It's another puberty where you really come into a space of becoming yourself.” (20:00)

• Margaret describes hormone replacement therapy (HRT) as empowering, giving her agency over her body and choices:

  “I also understand now so much of my ‘fertility’ was bringing me the most problems, that my hormones were more in charge of my choices than I was.” (20:00–20:53)

• Freedom from the fear of dying alone, no longer feeling compelled by biology to remain in unfulfilling relationships.

6. Challenging Cultural Silence About Aging & Pain

• Both discuss how their immigrant families—Korean and Indian—treated topics like menopause and trauma with silence or minimization. Margaret reflects on her parents’ discomfort with her open comedy, and the way some white communities claim the privilege of talking openly about pain:

  “Sometimes whiteness can bring privilege like that…where people are talking about childhood abuse, and that comes from a privilege, and that comes from whiteness, where people are like, hey, I deserve to talk about my pain.” (26:52)

7. Growing Up “Othered”—Race, Belonging, Identity

• Both share stories of growing up as Asian American and South Asian American women in predominantly white neighborhoods, experiencing intense desire to fit in and internalized racism:

  “The crushing disappointment that I couldn't have blonde ringlets. It was an existential crisis that I'm still fighting.” (34:11)

• Margaret points out the difficulty of finding belonging in both white-dominated spaces and traditional Korean culture, instead channeling her outsider experience into creative power.

8. Comedy, Creation, and Community as Resistance

• Margaret’s latest standup special, “Live and Livid,” addresses systemic homophobia, racism, and sexism, marking her 40th year in comedy and emphasizing creative resistance:

  “It's been great. People have been really appreciative. It's been really cathartic, I think, for all of us...Right now is a great time to create.” (37:08)

9. Rest, “Bedrotting,” and Embracing Pleasure

• Margaret is a proponent of the Gen Z “bedrotting” trend—deliberate rest, reading, cuddling with pets, and guiltless pleasure in downtime:

  “I love the new Gen Z bedrotting trend...I just love to lay.” (38:19–38:51)

• Reshma and Margaret trade tips on reclaiming self-care, including skin care routines as rituals of pleasure rather than anti-aging.

10. Aging as Celebration, Not Loss

• Margaret wants to change the narrative of fearing age; she sees “majesty” in growing older and celebrates this new chapter:

  “We're just...If we're alive, we're just gonna get older, so why not?...Enjoy the majesty of aging as you are.” (40:07)

• She encourages actively re-entering spaces and activities one might feel “aged out” of—like nightclubs or nude movie scenes!
• Looking ahead, Margaret’s aspirations include playful dreams (“Fight Jake Paul,” being on the Sports Illustrated cover), a music album release, and simply showing off and enjoying her body on her own terms.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Singlehood and Aging:

  “You can actually be single and happy and also have intimate relationships that don’t require marriage or cohabitation.” (04:45; Margaret Cho)

• On Meditation:

  “Put things back on the shelf, like, in your mind, that in itself is a kind of meditation.” (08:17; Margaret Cho)

• On Sexual Power in Midlife:

  “We're all Brad Pitt in the end.” (10:16; Margaret Cho)

• On Menopause and Control:

  “Now I'm in charge of finding out what hormones I need and using them to the degree that I need them. And I just love that.” (20:00; Margaret Cho)

• On Creative Rituals:

  “I can’t leave the sort of mat until I write that one joke.” (13:25; Margaret Cho)

• On Rest and Pleasure:

  “I just love to lay...I love an early bedtime.” (38:40–39:15; Margaret Cho)

• On Aging as Empowerment:

  “Enjoy the majesty of aging as you are.” (40:07; Margaret Cho)

Important Timestamps

• 04:26: Margaret expresses joy about midlife and singlehood.
• 07:01: The power of silent meditation groups and intentional intimacy.
• 10:00–10:40: Discussion on zaddy/queen energy and turning on inner confidence.
• 13:25: Margaret describes her daily joke ritual.
• 20:00: Menopause reframed as a positive, empowering new beginning.
• 26:52: Cultural silence about trauma and privilege of talking about pain.
• 34:11: Impact of growing up “othered” and internalized racism.
• 37:08: The catharsis of comedy, creation, and building community.
• 38:19–39:15: “Bedrotting” as self-care and generational healing.
• 40:07: Rewriting aging as celebratory and expansive.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a delightfully frank, empowering examination of the “second puberties” and freedoms that can come with age—especially for those, like Margaret Cho, who continually reinvent what it means to live out loud. The takeaway: midlife can be your “Brad Pitt era”—ripe with self-acceptance, pleasure, boundaries, and uncompromising joy.