Episode Overview

Episode Title: Revisit: Moms Deserve a Weekend Too with Dr. Becky
Podcast: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani
Host: Reshma Saujani (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Dr. Becky Kennedy, Clinical Psychologist and Founder of Good Inside
Date: October 22, 2025

This episode delves into the unique challenges of motherhood and midlife, focusing on why mothers often feel overwhelmed, unsatisfied, and prone to rage. Reshma and Dr. Becky explore concepts like the “learning space,” the impact of suppressed desires, the dangers of martyrdom in parenting, and actionable strategies for reclaiming personal joy and self-worth in midlife. The conversation is refreshingly honest, practical, and filled with validation for parents, especially mothers, navigating burnout and emotional turmoil.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. The Midlife Mindset and the “Learning Space”

• Defining the Learning Space
  Dr. Becky emphasizes that success is not about quickly reaching “knowing” or accomplishment but about tolerating the frustration in the in-between, or “learning space.”

  “Success isn’t getting to knowing as soon as possible… The better we get at tolerating the frustration inherent in the learning space, that’s kind of what life is all about.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [07:54]

• Normalizing Not Knowing
  The hosts discuss the importance of giving oneself permission to not have all the answers in midlife, to embrace the struggle, and to let go of rushing to “success.”

  "My midlife mindset is giving myself permission to be in the learning space, to not know, to trust the learning and the struggle and not be in such a rush to get to the elusive moment of knowing and success." — Dr. Becky Kennedy [08:35]

2. Parenting Isn't Just About Kids—It's About Parents, Too

• Parent Behind the Parenting
  Dr. Becky talks about how most parenting challenges are rooted in the parent’s mood, unprocessed anxiety, or unmet needs, rather than the child’s behavior.

  “Very little about our interaction with our kids has to do with our kids… how you respond to your kid whining isn't just about the sound. It's about your own emotion regulation skills.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [12:09]

• Moving Beyond Firefighting
  The conversation highlights two mindsets—"yellow mode" (putting out fires) vs. "green mode" (raising the baseline to prevent fires). Good Inside aims to get parents out of crisis mode and into a place of confidence and well-being.

  "I want better for you than being very good at fighting fires. I want you to have fewer fires." — Dr. Becky Kennedy [15:07]

3. Boundaries: “It’s My Weekend Too”

• Rejecting Martyrdom
  The hosts challenge the pervasive “motherhood as martyrdom” narrative, stating that sacrificing yourself for your kids is not good for anyone—parents or children.

  “Motherhood as martyrdom… I do everything for my kids, is as bad for kids as a pilot who loves piloting so much that they haven’t done one thing for themselves would be bad for passengers.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [24:10]

  “It’s my weekend too. How about my weekend?” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [27:44]

• Practical Boundaries
  Dr. Becky offers examples, such as not attending every extracurricular event and using carpools to reclaim time, demonstrating that saying no is healthy and essential.

4. The Power and Purpose of Anger (Especially Mom Rage)

• Understanding Anger
  Anger is reframed as a necessary emotion—a signal of unmet needs or desires. Suppressing anger, especially in women, leads to disconnection from desire and self-worth.

  “Access to anger is a sign that you still have access to self-worth. Because having anger is a sign that you still believe you deserve things.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [40:30]

• Origins of Rage The discussion traces “mom rage” to a childhood of taught good-girl-ism and emotional suppression. The result is explosive anger later in life, not out of character flaw but out of years of unmet needs.

  “We’ve suppressed our anger for so long… that it comes out in anger. And I think that’s why we feel sometimes the most angry in midlife, because it’s really just toppling over.” — Reshma Saujani [44:00]

5. Rediscovering Desire and Self-Care

• Reconnecting with Wants
  Many women in midlife no longer know what they want or like. Dr. Becky encourages experimentation—trying different activities and "rating" them, understanding that regaining desire is part of the learning process.

  “You’re supposed to not know. You’re in the learning space of figuring out who you are… Just try anything, and after, ask yourself, did I like it?” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [47:18]

6. Practical Tools for Managing Rage and Stress

• Recognizing the Road to Rage
  Rather than focusing on what to do at the brink of an outburst, Dr. Becky advocates recognizing the signs leading up to it so you can exit before going over the edge.

  "Our success at any part in life comes from asking the right questions. And when we feel stuck as a mom, it’s not because we don’t know the answer. It’s always because we need to ask a more empowering and possible question.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [50:14]

• Family Communication
  She suggests building a family vocabulary for these moments (even a code word like “banana”) and taking planned breaks when emotions run high.

  “If you tell a kid before, it’s amazing. Then in the moment, and I would come up with a code… when I say banana, you run over and build your blocks and I run to my room and scream into a pillow…” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [50:51]

Additional Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If mommy’s good, the family’s good. I want to show up 100% for my kids when it matters the most.” — Reshma Saujani [04:10]

• “Perfect parenting, not only is it not possible, it’s creepy and would be weird for everybody involved.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [14:12]

• On the maternal instinct myth:
  “You should be able to do the hardest job in the world just by instinct. Like… I would never see a surgeon who’s getting by on surgical instinct and didn’t go to medical school, like, ever.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [31:08]

• On self-compassion and re-parenting yourself:
  “There’s really something to thanking the parts of you that had to learn the lessons they did for them to kind of release a little bit… You do this exercise, you’re hysterically crying because that part of you needed to hear that.” — Dr. Becky Kennedy [44:50]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |------------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 03:30 | Reshma on increasing temper in midlife | | 05:58 | Midlife mindset: learning space vs. knowing | | 11:30 | Parenting is about parents’ needs and regulation | | 14:07 | The Good Inside approach: from firefighting to baseline | | 22:21 | Sacrificing weekends and parental resentment | | 24:10 | “Motherhood as martyrdom” and pilot metaphor | | 27:44 | “It’s my weekend too.” Setting boundaries | | 39:10 | Understanding, validating, and working with anger | | 40:30 | Self-worth and anger: why rage is a sign of buried needs | | 47:18 | Re-learning desire and self-care—experimentation | | 50:14 | Recognizing and exiting the road to rage | | 53:55 | Parenting classes = becoming a better person to yourself | | 55:15 | Aligning actions with values as self-compassion in midlife|

Summary Conclusion

This episode offers a validating and practical guide for moms (and anyone in midlife) feeling burnt out, resentful, or unsure of themselves. Dr. Becky Kennedy normalizes these struggles, explaining their roots in suppressed needs, societal pressure, and old emotional patterns. Her actionable advice—to set boundaries, experiment and reconnect with desires, communicate openly about emotions, and focus on self-kindness—empowers listeners to find not just better parenting, but a fuller, richer version of themselves in midlife.

For more information:

• Explore Dr. Becky Kennedy’s resources at Good Inside (website), the podcast, and Instagram.
• Connect with My So-Called Midlife on Lemonada Media.

Note: Ad segments, sponsor mentions, and outros have been omitted to focus on core content and insights.