Podcast Summary: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani

Episode: The Politics of Kindness with Abby Phillip
Date: December 17, 2025
Host: Reshma Saujani (Lemonada Media)
Guest: Abby Phillip, CNN Newsnight Anchor, Author of A Dream Deferred

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, Reshma Saujani speaks with celebrated journalist and anchor Abby Phillip about the realities of midlife, the myth of overnight success, professional authenticity, and the power—and politics—of kindness. Abby dives into her personal story of growth and resilience, shares the guiding principles that have shaped her career in national media, reflects on the intersection of motherhood and ambition, and discusses her new book on Jesse Jackson, A Dream Deferred. The conversation is candid, warm, and packed with practical wisdom and memorable moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Embracing Midlife and Self-Validation

[03:08–06:40]

• Midlife Mindset: Abby proudly claims she’s not “chasing her youth” and declares, “This is the best time of my life... Every year past 30 has been better and better and better.”
• Self-Knowledge: Abby describes herself as someone who always wanted to be settled and in control, revealing she has never sought external validation and prefers a home-centered, introverted life.
  • Quote: “I only do things I want to do now in this moment of my life, and that feels so great… The night sweats are not so great.” (Abby, [03:31])

Authenticity in Journalism and the Cost of Bravery

[06:40–11:40]

• Doing the Work Authentically: Abby underscores that her approach to journalism isn’t performative; she’s present and honest, not playing for “likes” or attention.
  • Quote: “I don’t care what other people think of me. That doesn’t influence my self-esteem, especially not at this stage in my life.” (Abby, [06:43])
• Bravery Deficit: Reshma praises Abby’s courage and authenticity on air, describing her as a guiding light of bravery.
• Systemic Pressures: There’s an in-depth discussion about how current media and social algorithms punish honest and nuanced public discourse, fostering groupthink and performative division.
  • Quote: “It is really hard today for people to be honest on television because everybody feels so beholden to their groups… When people come to my table on Newsnight and they say something that goes against their group, that to me is a form of bravery.” (Abby, [09:12])

The Myth of Overnight Success and Career Journeys

[11:40–16:08]

• Narrative Correction: Abby refutes the idea that her trajectory was a “rocket ship,” emphasizing unseen years of hard work and uncertainty.
  • Quote: “We look at people’s careers and they’re like, where did she come from? She just showed up here. And you’re like, I’ve been the engine that could for a long time.” (Abby, [12:31])
• Building Purpose Gradually: Abby recounts thinking she might remain a print reporter, and how discovering her analytical and synthesizing strengths, partly through others’ feedback, pushed her to CNN anchor.

The Power of External Feedback

[19:00–23:24]

• Discovering Strengths: Sometimes others can see your talents before you can. For Abby, talent exec Rebecca Cutler’s comments after 2020’s convention coverage helped her recognize and claim her unique voice on air.
  • Quote: “[Rebecca said] ‘Whatever you did today, just keep doing that… you’re really good at capturing the moment and always saying something that no one else is going to say.’ And I was like, okay.” (Abby, [19:21])
• Self-Critique: Abby admits she’s her own toughest critic and sometimes discounts positive feedback, which is both a motivator and a personal challenge.

Navigating Career as a Woman of Color; Rule of Kindness

[28:49–32:47]

• The Kindness Rule: Abby affirms that her default is kindness—not out of naiveté, but as a strategic and ethical foundation. Even with rivals, she stays cordial and constructive.
  • Quote: “You will never find somebody saying, ‘oh, she was so nasty to me.’ Because I don’t believe that that is strategic… They can waste their energy hating me all they want, but I’m not going to waste my energy doing that.” (Abby, [30:09])
• Institutional Survival: Most of Abby’s career, her colleagues or leaders have not looked like her; she adapts by maintaining open, positive, transactional relationships, focusing on mutual wins.

Feminism, Motherhood, and Systemic Change

[37:18–41:25]

• Modern Feminism: Abby sees millennial feminism as the reclamation of both power and femininity, demanding systemic change to support women’s desires to be both mothers and professionals.
  • Quote: “I am working a legit job… I have a daughter, but I also make sourdough on the weekends… Not because I have a husband telling me, but because I want to. Because that’s the home that I want to create…” (Abby, [37:21])
• Cultural Lag: Both women discuss how cultural narratives still haven’t caught up with the reality that women want—and deserve—choice, whether that means leaning into career, family, or some blend.

The Legacy of Jesse Jackson and Lessons for Today

[45:12–54:31]

• Why Write This Book: Abby’s new book, A Dream Deferred, uses Jesse Jackson’s story to probe the promise and limits of multiracial democracy and populous unrest, especially in the Trump era.
  • Quote: “[Jackson] envisioned a world in which you can have those people holding hands and walking into the future together. And I think this book is about what could be.” (Abby, [47:15])
• Trump, Populism, and Coalition: Abby draws parallels between Jackson’s and Trump’s appeal, noting both harnessed outsider populism, but with different moral directions.
• Gender and Coalition Power: The discussion explores Shirley Chisholm’s greater struggle with gender discrimination than racial bias during her historic presidential run—a relevant challenge for women today.

The Power and Potential of Women

[55:13–57:54]

• Women’s Superpower: Abby believes women’s ability to empathize and engage across differences is key to future progress—politics included.
  • Quote: “Women are so multifaceted and have the ability to engage different people in a lot of different ways. And that is a superpower of the future.” (Abby, [55:13])
• Real Equality: The episode closes with a vision for women’s political power across the spectrum, emphasizing unity and pragmatic progress on policies like childcare and paid leave.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Changing Definition of Feminism:
  “This era of feminism… is one in which we not just reclaim our femininity and our power at the same time, but we also demand the ability to be all of those things.” — Abby Phillip, [37:21]

• On Kindness as Strategy:
  “Plenty of people have tried to torpedo me in my career. You will never find somebody saying, ‘oh, she was so nasty to me.’ Because I don’t believe that that is strategic.” — Abby Phillip, [30:09]

• On Discovering Purpose:
  “Sometimes other people can say... here’s a thing about you that you’re not noticing that is good, that you need to harness, that you need to develop, that you need to cultivate.” — Abby Phillip, [21:49]

• On Political Power for All Women:
  “I think women need power across the political spectrum in order to use that power to make advancements that are not ideological in nature. They’re just about our shared humanity…” — Abby Phillip, [55:48]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Welcome and Midlife Mindset: [03:08–06:40]
• Authenticity & Bravery on TV: [06:40–11:40]
• Challenging the ‘Overnight Success’ Myth: [11:40–16:08]
• Discovering Your Unique Skillset: [19:00–23:24]
• The Rule of Kindness & Navigating Adversity: [28:49–32:47]
• Feminism, Motherhood, & Systemic Barriers: [37:18–41:25]
• Populism & Political Coalitions (Jesse Jackson, Trump, Chisholm): [45:12–54:31]
• The Future of Women’s Power: [55:13–57:54]

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is rich with camaraderie, candor, and ambition. Abby’s groundedness and optimism shine as she models strategic kindness and resilience for women navigating male-dominated institutions. She and Reshma make a compelling case for embracing experience, trusting in purpose beyond prescriptive plans, and fighting for systems that support the multiplicity of women’s identities and contributions—across the political spectrum.

Recommended for:
Anyone interested in authentic career growth, modern feminism, the intersections of politics and identity, or just looking for strategies to thrive—and be kind—through midlife challenges.