Podcast Summary: My So-Called Midlife with Reshma Saujani

Episode Title: Your Pain Is Not Normal with Dr. Sara Reardon
Date: February 11, 2026
Host: Reshma Saujani
Guest: Dr. Sara Reardon (“The Vagina Whisperer”)

Main Theme

This episode tackles the widespread but misunderstood issue of women’s pelvic floor health, especially during midlife. Reshma and Dr. Sara Reardon (a leading pelvic floor physical therapist known as “The Vagina Whisperer”) break down why so many women silently accept urinary issues, sexual pain, and discomfort as “normal” rather than treatable health problems—and outline what every woman needs to know to reclaim comfort, confidence, and agency in her body.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Reshma’s Midlife Mindset & The State of Women’s Health

• Reshma and Dr. Reardon open by reflecting on their mindsets in midlife—feeling both strong in their convictions but also “soft” due to the burdens of collective trauma and the emotional weight many women carry. (04:00)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Sara Reardon, 04:00): “I feel probably one of the strongest in my convictions, in my beliefs... And I also feel soft in this way. It feels like things are really hard and rigid... so I feel like there’s a softness that needs to come to just help care for people.”

2. Meet The Vagina Whisperer: The Origin Story

• Dr. Reardon explains how her college friends’ mothers first dubbed her “The Vagina Whisperer” due to her openness on pelvic issues, which later became her social media persona. (05:23)
  • She started her Instagram almost ten years ago “for the same group of girlfriends.” (06:12)

3. How Dr. Reardon Entered the Pelvic Health Field

• Initially training for sports PT, she was drawn to “women’s health” (now called pelvic health) because so many life-altering issues were cloaked in shame and secrecy. (06:14)

4. Reshma’s Personal Struggles & How Women Normalize Pain

• Reshma shares her own struggles with bladder urgency, highlighting how these issues are often ignored until they severely affect quality of life. (07:06-08:17)
  • Notable quote (Reshma, 07:32): “I go to the bathroom at least 20 times a day... I could not focus on this incredible art that I was watching [at a Broadway play].”
  • Dr. Reardon explains: “It’s not when it starts happening. It’s when it gets so severe that it's changing the quality of our life or our behaviors.” (08:20)

5. Basics: What and Where is the Pelvic Floor?

• Dr. Reardon offers a crash course on pelvic anatomy.
  • The pelvic floor is a basket of muscles forming the “floor” of the pelvis, controlling urinary, vaginal, and anal functions. (10:00–10:44)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 10:07): “At the bottom of your pelvis is literally a basket of muscles that covers the floor. It’s literally the floor of your pelvis.”
• Issues can arise early, not just after childbirth or with aging (e.g., high rates of urinary leakage in high school female athletes). (12:05)

6. The Role of Shame & Lack of Knowledge

• Despite prevalence, pelvic floor issues are highly stigmatized.
  • Notable quote (Reshma, 22:28): “People start to pay attention to that part of their body in a way that I think women often ignore it because we’re taught to be ashamed of that part.”

7. Hormonal Changes & Midlife: Menopause, Pregnancy, More

• Pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause are the three biggest risk factors.
  • Menopause: Declining estrogen weakens and dries out pelvic muscles, increasing risk for leakage, prolapse, and UTI. (23:23–24:06)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 24:06): “When you have lower estrogen ... less estrogen causes thinner, drier, weaker pelvic floor muscles, and that will lead to leakage.”

8. The Culture of Silence & Need for Disruption

• Most women don’t talk about leakage or sexual pain even among close friends—yet see it as “normal.”
  • Dr. Reardon stresses that millennial and younger generations are now “fed up” and advocating for better care, making information more accessible via social media (26:25).
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 26:25): “We’re fed up with people telling us, ‘This is just part of being a lady,’ or ‘Diapers are your destiny...’ when all of that is wrong.”

9. What to Expect at a Pelvic Floor Therapy Appointment

• Private, 45–60 minute sessions involve extensive intake, followed by a physical exam—external and, with consent, internal assessment of muscle tone, strength, and tension. (19:16–21:02)
• Recovery is gradual; typically 3–6 months with at-home exercises, plus in-office treatments and periodic “tune-ups.” (21:12)

10. How Do You Pee the Right Way?

• Dr. Reardon’s advice:
  • Go when you feel the urge—not “just in case.”
  • Sit and relax; don’t “power pee” or push, as that weakens muscles and can cause incomplete emptying. (33:17–34:00)
  • “Double voiding” (stand, sit, and try again) is ok if you don’t feel empty.
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 33:12): “My most viral reel, 45 million views, was ‘Don’t push when you pee.’”

11. Pelvic Floor Problems Affect Intimacy & Quality of Life

• Issues like painful sex, weak orgasms, and even the avoidance of intimacy are often minimized or wrongly dismissed by doctors—but can usually be addressed with the right therapy. (36:47–40:53)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 37:10): “This is normal. Give it more time, relax, just drink a glass of wine and use a little bit more lubricant... complete gaslighting.”

12. Debunking The “Tight Vagina” Myth

• Many believe a tight pelvic floor is ideal; Dr. Reardon stresses the importance of function and balance—muscles must contract and relax. Too much tension can cause pain and dysfunction. (39:24)

13. Why Awareness Matters: Health, Independence, and Aging

• Urinary and fecal incontinence are top reasons for nursing home admission; addressing pelvic floor health is crucial for lifelong autonomy. (31:02)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 31:02): “One of the number one reasons for admission to a nursing home later in life is urinary incontinence and fecal incontinence.”

14. Practical Takeaways & Empowerment

• Pelvic floor therapy is NOT a last resort—it should be a routine aspect of women’s healthcare (not just during crisis).
• Many improvements are simple and surprisingly fast; results can be seen in weeks to months.
  • “I saw a postpartum woman who had painful sex for 11 months, and I saw her three times, and her pain was resolved. So it’s not rocket science.” (41:13)
• Final message: Prioritize pelvic floor care like any other self-care routine; empowerment through education and proactive attention enables women to fully live and enjoy the second half of their lives. (41:34–42:22)
  • Notable quote (Dr. Reardon, 41:34): “I want you to focus on your pelvic floor the way that you focus on your skin care… because it allows us to live the life we want to live in this second half of our lives.”

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Your pain is not normal.” (03:09, Reshma intro)
• “We need a functional vagina. We need one that can contract and relax. The tight vagina is a myth.” (39:24, Dr. Reardon)
• “More women leak urine than have osteoporosis, high blood pressure, and diabetes together… This is a silent epidemic.” (29:44, Dr. Reardon)
• “It starts with us talking to each other and then passing that down to the next generation.” (28:56, Dr. Reardon)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |-----------|-------| | 04:00 | Reshma & Dr. Reardon: Mindset and midlife reflections | | 05:23 | “The Vagina Whisperer” origin story | | 06:14 | Dr. Reardon’s PT journey and passion | | 07:06 | Reshma’s personal urinary struggles | | 10:00 | Pelvic floor 101: location & function | | 12:05 | High school athletes and pelvic issues | | 17:28 | How to talk to daughters; when to seek therapy | | 19:16 | What to expect at a therapy appointment | | 21:12 | Recovery & home exercise expectations | | 23:23 | Estrogen, menopause, and pelvic changes | | 26:25 | Millennial women, fed up and demanding change | | 31:02 | Incontinence and nursing home admissions | | 33:12 | How to pee correctly (“Don’t push when you pee”) | | 36:00 | Life-changing effects of pelvic health care | | 37:10 | Medical gaslighting of women’s sexual pain | | 39:24 | Myths about tightness vs. function in pelvic health | | 41:34 | Final empowering message |

Conclusion

This episode boldly confronts the widespread normalization of pelvic pain, bladder leakage, and shame that affects women throughout their lives, emphasizing that these problems are common but not normal. Dr. Reardon urges women to take charge, break the silence, and seek help—demonstrating that even deeply embedded problems can often be swiftly improved with the right care.

Women deserve comfort, confidence, and full access to their lives at every age—and it starts by owning and honoring pelvic health as a core priority.

Find Dr. Sara Reardon:

• Website: thevagwhisperer.com
• Instagram: @the.vagina.whisperer