MTGM EXTRA! "I went looking..."

Summary

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Podcast Summary: My Therapist Ghosted Me – MTGM EXTRA! "I went looking..." (February 18, 2026)

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally

Producer/Sound: Joe

Duration: ~25 minutes

Main Theme: Relationship boundaries, suspicion, and the ever-relatable phenomenon of “going looking” through a partner’s messages—discussed with signature sharp humor and honesty.

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Episode Overview

In this bonus "Extra" episode, Vogue and Joanne unpack the psychology and fallout of snooping on a partner’s private messages after a listener email. The chat, as always, is laced with hilarious tangents, current event commentary, and the duo’s trademark blend of empathy and brutal honesty about relationships, trust, and modern monogamy.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter: Rugby, “Bad Omens,” and National Allegiances

(00:02 - 02:37)

• Vogue’s excitement about attending Ireland v England rugby at Twickenham, and whether her presence brings bad luck:
  • "I don't look at the game though, when Ireland are playing because I genuinely feel that I bring bad luck." (A/Vogue, 00:36)
• Light-hearted stories about being a self-identified “curse” at sporting events.
• Swapping jerseys with Spencer, not letting the kids wear English jerseys, and the flexible Irish/British loyalties:
  • "That's patriotism. It, it's es and flows." (B/Joanne, 02:28)

2. Viral News and Social Media Scepticism

(02:38 - 05:14)

• Discussing a viral story about a man (“James Whitaker”) who chose a year in prison over returning $1.1m accidentally transferred to his account.
• Debating whether these stories are real or just “stunts” circulated by meme accounts like “Dude Humor Report”:
  • “If it’s not on the Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.” (B/Joanne, 04:46)
• Reflections on consuming news from “Drunk People Doing Things” and comparing yourself to “worse” people online.

3. Serious Crimes: The Lucy Letby Discussion

(05:15 - 11:10)

• Delving into the Lucy Letby case with conflicting views:
  • “I think there was flaws on both sides … but I do think she’s guilty. I do. I’m sorry.” (B/Joanne, 06:33)
  • “If police came into my bedroom in the morning … I’d have more things to say in her defense." (A/Vogue, 07:23)
• Debating the emotional behaviour of suspects, motives for crimes, and referencing other notorious medical criminal cases (Harold Shipman).
• Noting the tensions in media (e.g., “someone always has to take the shitty side” on TV panels) and opinions among nurses about Letby.

4. Lost Arts & Culture Pockets

(13:37 - 15:17)

• Quick detour about how the tradition of handwritten thank-you cards is fading:
  • "I'm not that mom. I really want to be that mom, but I'm not. I'm not that mom." (A/Vogue, 13:39)
• Joanne shares finding an interesting London event: “How the Internet is Pulling Men and Women Apart: The Algorithm Divide”:
  • “I do firmly believe that my disdain for monogamy or distrust of men … is completely based on my algorithm.” (B/Joanne, 15:05)

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Advice Segment: “I went looking…” (Listener Email)

(15:34 - 24:55)

The Case:

• Listener shares she snooped (via Teams messages) on her boyfriend’s chats with a female co-worker after noticing too much attention and five mentions of Valentine’s Day. She worries about confronting him since searching his phone was “sneaky” (17:33–17:57).
  • "I've gone into his phone and I knew the place I had to look was on his team's messages to her...he's mentioned Valentine's to her five times. Five times. Like what the..." (A/Reads Email, 16:23)

Why Do We Do It?

• "Why do we do it? Why do we go looking?” (A/Vogue, 15:36)
  • “Because we know.” (B/Joanne, 15:41)

Hosts’ Unfiltered Take:

• Both agree the man is emotionally crossing a line:
  • "He fancies her.” (B/Joanne, 17:47)
  • "He probably knows it's gone too far." (A/Vogue, 17:54)
• Acknowledgement that technically no “cheating” has happened, but emotional betrayal is clear:
  • “There is an emotional line that has been crossed in her eyes. And I would agree with her.” (B/Joanne, 18:27)
  • “It does not sit okay with me.” (A/Vogue, 19:49)
• Best practice is open confrontational honesty, rather than passive resentment or further snooping.

Approaches to Confrontation:

• The “Trap” Route:
  • "What is the crack with you and this woman? See what he says... and if he lies about it now, you have him by the balls." (B/Joanne, 23:24)
• The Honest Route:
  • "My instincts were on fire...and, yeah, I went into your phone and I’ve seen that there’s something going on. And I’m not comfortable with this." (B/Joanne, 21:58)
• Vogue suggests strategic cold silence after stating your feelings and boundaries (22:25), noting that gaslighting is a likely response.

Outcome:

• Both caution that though there’s technically no physical affair, the “spidey senses are burning” for a reason.
  • "Join the female commune. Get rid of this lad. He’s a snake.” (B/Joanne, 24:32)
• They urge the listener to keep them updated on any developments.

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• “It's so funny how, like, you just have this totally other life that I don't know about. It's gas, isn't it?” (A/Vogue, 01:18)
• "If it’s not on Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.” (B/Joanne, 04:46)
• "You know exactly what you’re doing. You know that you shouldn’t be getting involved in people’s relationships like that.” (A/Vogue, 20:43)
• “There is an emotional line that has been crossed in her eyes. And I would agree with her.” (B/Joanne, 18:27)
• "It's the only way. That's why I'm going to this talk on how the algorithm is driving us all apart, because I've really lost faith in the system." (B/Joanne, 24:45)
• "Thank you so much…That has been enlightening. I’ve enjoyed myself. I’ve enjoyed both of you." (A/Vogue, 24:58)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:02 – Rugby chat and “bad luck” superstitions
• 02:37 – Meme news skepticism (“James Whitaker” story)
• 05:15 – Lucy Letby debate
• 13:37 – Handwritten cards, etiquette, and loss of tradition
• 15:34 – Listener email and main advice segment ("I went looking…")
• 18:10 – Emotional affairs and lines in relationships
• 21:58 – Strategies for confrontation and dealing with betrayal
• 24:32 – Commune jokes & episode close

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Tone

True to format, the conversation is candid, often raucous and irreverent, yet always circling back to honest reflections on modern relationships, gossip, and navigating digital-age boundaries—anchored by Vogue’s warmth and Joanne’s blunt wit.

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This summary covers all major content sections (excluding ads/production notes) and should provide a full experience for those who missed the episode.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to. My therapist ghosted me the bonus episode with myself, Vogue Williams and herself, Joanne McNally. I'm going to the rugby. Big rugby fan over here. Ireland v England.

[B]

That'll be go crack now.

[A]

Oh, it will be because Ireland are actually. It's not like the football and there's nothing wrong with that. We can't be great at everything, the rugby.

[B]

We have a chance. Yeah, we're really good at rugby.

[A]

I don't look at the game though, when Ireland are playing because I genuinely feel that I bring bad luck. So I will look away whenever.

[B]

Yeah, I've said that for years. Yeah.

[A]

I'm a bad omen.

[B]

You don't realize I'm actually a really accomplished basketball player. I've just never told you because I can't afford you coming to the matches because I will lose because you are a bad omen. I play for Ireland. I'm on the A's. I'm on the firsts. Yeah. Joe's been loads of times. That was Joe.

[A]

Oh. Better off not having me.

[C]

Wonderful to watch you work.

[B]

I'm like, as you score, I'm a basketball savant. That's what the papers are saying. But Vogue, like I said, I've had to keep it away from you because you are a bad omen.

[A]

Yeah. It's so funny how, like, you just have this totally other life that I don't know about. It's gas, isn't it?

[B]

I know. Yeah.

[C]

She's actually really good at the cello as well.

[A]

Shallow. Yeah, I did. I saw you in the orchestra. I went to see an orchestra and I knew it was you.

[B]

Yes, well, when that. The second that happened, I cut both my wrists accidentally on my strings. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And had to be sectioned. And I said that's folks fault because she looked at me.

[A]

I. I am a curse.

[B]

I don't know if you've noticed, but when you come to shows, I have you facing the other way. You haven't noticed yet because I think you're scrolling on your phone. You haven't noticed, but you're actually facing the wall.

[A]

I did. I heard a few bits of the show. You can't say I wasn't watching. Why do you think Spenny goes away to do his running? He's like, I can't run in front of her.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. Now come here. Where is this rugby?

[A]

It's on in Twickenham and I have two Irish. I have two Irish rugby jerseys. Now, no offense to Anyone British? Because if Ireland lose, I'll then be up for you. But of course, in the meantime, because I won't put my kids in an English rugby jersey. And I'm gonna tell. I gotta take Spencer's English rugby jersey, I'm gonn to wear something and I'll give him the Irish rugby jersey.

[B]

That's patriotism. It, it, it's es and flows. Es and flows.

[A]

I'm going to go.

[B]

I agree. I, I like winners.

[A]

Whoever's winning, I'm with them.

[B]

I like winners 100%.

[A]

Did you hear about that fella, your man? Your man who Basically there was this fella and he, he got $1.1 million put into his account by Accent Accident. James Whitaker, 34 years old. And instead of giving the money back, he's like, I'll take the prison sentence.

[B]

Now, I, I need to, I need to ask, is this true? Not that it doesn't matter, but I know sometimes me and you get, we get kind of caught out by stories that are actually a PR stunt for a prison. You know what I mean? Like, is this a pure, like that Korean facelift PR campaign? And the guy divorced his wife because she turned out, the kids were ugly and she had a face and have.

[A]

You seen the horse is skiing now? I didn't even look for the AI tag. I was like, horses don't ski. I was watching that yesterday and I was like, yes, no, no.

[B]

Is this a pure stun. Because surely everyone would do a year in prison for a million quid.

[A]

No, it's $1.1 million. And when you think about it, the bank transferred the money. No, listen, let me Finish.

[B]

Wasted.

[A]

That's 2.2. Yeah, but Joanne, that's 2.2 if you add tax. So he's made $2.2 million in a year he's got. And you know how much money he'll save in there? He's not paying rent, he's not paying for his food. So he's basically then living off the state, going into prison, and with any luck, he'll do a Martha Stewart. Did you see her Prison shooters going around teaching people things.

[B]

You're impressive folks. I'm sticking with you. I'm sticking with you. You are a business.

[A]

I wouldn't. This man has played a bloody blinder.

[B]

I didn't even think about the lack of rent. No one heard me.

[A]

John, you're on a holiday for a year. You've no job in there, you're taking the year off and being paid for.

[B]

And you've prison Officers, you've a free concierge.

[A]

Yeah, he's on gardening leave.

[B]

He's on a jolly.

[C]

Sorry, I can only find the story on Instagram. That doesn't mean it's not real. But it's not reported by any news.

[B]

That lads on a jolly. Oh, is it. Is it a Facebook. Is it a Facebook story show? Because I've been stung by Facebook stories before.

[C]

Well, I'm currently reading the story on an Instagram account called the Dude Humor Report.

[A]

So, listen, where we get all the.

[B]

Factual news I want. If it's not on the Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.

[A]

It's all. I tell you what, news is always real. If it's on the Dude Humor, whatever it's called and the Daily Mail, then we know it's true. We know it's factual.

[B]

Listen, and the truth of the matter is we don't need to be factual or.

[A]

Or sorry. If it's on the Drunk People Doing things Instagram page as well. That's always real.

[B]

I live there.

[A]

Never a lie. I love that page. I'm like, it makes me feel so good about myself. I'm like, actually, I'm not that bad.

[B]

I know. Yeah. It was like a friend of mine started aa and she did. She went to a meeting and she left. She was like, I'm Grant, because the stories you heard, so bad. And I was like, no, no, I think you should go back. I think you should stick with us.

[A]

I know somebody who also went to a couple of meetings and was like, these people are. This is not my level.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was actually speaking to another friend of mine who is in aa, and they were like, that's a really common problem where people come and they judge themselves by maybe the worst stories within that group or someone's chair a meeting, and they have like, you know, a real rock bottom. And then they're like, oh, I'm absolutely fine, and then go on to drink themselves to death. But anyway, sorry, that's. I can't remember what. What. What am I referring to?

[A]

I don't know. I mean, we started on this fellow, James Whitaker, but anyway, it's taken a turn.

[B]

Well, I, you know, you're not going to like what I have to say.

[C]

What?

[B]

I would go to pr. I would. I want to go to prison.

[A]

John. That can be easily organized. And I think you'll need the break after the tour.

[B]

Joe, find out where. Find out where Lucy Leppy is. I want to go in there. I want to speak to her directly. Find It, Joe. Google it.

[A]

Now, I know that you. You are convinced that that woman might be innocent. I know somebody.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think there's questions. I think she had. I think there was flaws on both sides of the le. But I do think she's guilty. I do. I'm sorry.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, I think I have nothing to.

[B]

Base it on, which is the problem. It's all circumstantial.

[A]

Do you know what?

[B]

I was actually speaking to someone about it the other day, and this again, this is why, like, I'm not.

[A]

Look at Joe.

[B]

Professional.

[A]

You can see Joe's face when we start talking about serious.

[B]

It's the talk of the town. Because there are questions and there are holes in the argument on both sides. And if she is innocent, my God, this has to be one of the biggest miscarriages of justice in, well, certainly our lifetime. But I do think. Do you know. And again, this is why I'm not a legal professional. The fact she didn't defend herself in court. I don't know why, but that, that, that to me, two.

[A]

Two things. If police came into my bedroom in the morning and started telling me that I was being accused of murder, I'd.

[B]

Have more things to say in her defense. When they came into a. Joe, Joe, it's fine. Joe, this is fine. Inner defense. When they came to arrest her, it was. This was going on two years at this stage. It's not that she didn't know this.

[A]

You'd still be a bit. A bit more weirded out with them all coming into your room instead of just sitting there like, come on, have a bit. Like, there's absolutely no emotion. And didn't she not turn up to her sentencing? I just think that that's so grim after everything that you did. Just. She's one of. She's the worst child killer in the history of Britain.

[B]

So strange. And I don't know whether it's because we just have this rapport, but now that you're arguing that she's guilty, I feel like I need to defend her. I don't know. I'm like, well, hold on a second. Now, there. There are holes in the prosecution.

[A]

How is this woman not gotten a job on this Morning or Good Morning Britain? You know, somebody always has to take the shitty side. This is Good Morning Britain. There's always a real shitty side. Yeah, you should take that.

[B]

Well, do you remember? So there's a pub down the road from where.

[A]

He's a gentleman.

[B]

I would call him chivalrous. Frankly. My point is there and a lot of nurses I speak to, when I say speak to, like women in my DMs, who I chat to, who I've never. The nurses are convinced she is innocent. Someone was saying to me the other day, there's a saying where it's when there's a crime, find the woman they're always blaming on the woman they're talking about. Maybe, maybe the care in the hospital wasn't up to scratch anyway, folk, like I say, I'm just representing both sides. I do think she's guilty.

[A]

What is that? What is that? There's a phrase, there's a phrase for doctors who, what's it called, Joe? So they basically because they're able to take life away and bring people back. And some doctors like, they, they not, I mean, very rare. Yeah. The God, the God, the God complex where they, they can basically take life away and then bring people back. And there's, there's that like, I mean, remember Harold Chipman? I mean, we're really getting deep into things. He was absolutely grim killing.

[B]

Yeah. But he, he had a strong motivation. It was money. The problem with Lucy is they can't find a motive first they're like, there was no, I think from the God.

[A]

Complex is her motive.

[B]

I think it was for attention. I think it gave her attention.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it gave her power. That's it. I don't think she was financially motivated because obviously there was no finance. There was no financial benefit from it. Joe's getting very, Joe's sweating visibly on his face.

[C]

What should we do next? Do the Epstein or trans women in sport.

[A]

What would you like?

[B]

Let's just revert to form. Let's just talk about penguins, ice skating.

[A]

Or let's go back to the horses on skis.

[B]

Have a serious conversation about anything.

[A]

Sometimes I think people imagine me and you, Joanne, just sitting there talking utter shite the whole time. We actually do talk about.

[B]

Yeah. Time for people.

[A]

But current affairs.

[B]

Well, I, I, I'm not current. I'm like, what's happening five years ago? I tend to lock into, I'm, I'm a big woman for like a latch into a story that was huge in 2010. Really get really got involved.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Lucy, if you're listening, I, I, I'd like to know why you didn't speak for yourself in court.

[A]

But listen, I feel very strongly that she's guilty. So. And guess what? Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion.

[B]

100 a billion percent. I must listen to that podcast also. Imagine being the parents. The horror of. Of this. This happening. The person being accused, found guilty in a court of law, like in a court of law, found guilty. And then people are.

[A]

He looks so like that girl from Derry. Girls.

[B]

Serious. Monica Jackson.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We must watch Lisa McGee's new show.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I heard there's something. Yeah, I. I've. Someone actually told me about that. Someone who's designing a dress for me told me about that. Yeah.

[B]

What is it, Joe?

[C]

How To Get To Heaven from Belfast.

[B]

There you go. Yeah. Sir is in it. It's. Lisa McGee wrote Dairy Girls. Her new show, G, which did the. Late. Late recently. And they were on Lis. They were. Lisa and Saoirse were on with Garrote.

[A]

Sorry, this is a really weird segue, but I was meant to go to a dinner last night for a Jean Provocateur.

[B]

Sorry, am I chopped liver?

[A]

With Emily. With Emily. Emily. They know about our knickers. I was surprised that I was invited, but Emily. Atak. Have you seen her? She's doing the new campaign and she looks. I mean. Sorry, she looks. I love her because I love Rivals so much.

[B]

Yeah. Fantastic.

[A]

John. She's going to the rugby. She's going to the rugby.

[B]

Sick of being your ugly underdog standing. I want my own invitations to my own events. Joe, ring Rick now.

[A]

She's done. Would you like an email?

[B]

Is it an. Is it an invitation to something? Otherwise, no, I don't want.

[A]

Dear Juan, would you like to come to the rugby with Vogue? There is catering. There is catering.

[B]

Yes, I would, actually. Yes.

[A]

Okay, perfect. Joanne, watch this. Joanne will be in Cork doing a show, or she'll be. You're. You're in Australia.

[B]

What's the date?

[A]

It's on the. It's on the 21st of February.

[C]

Joan's in Dublin.

[B]

I'm in Dublin. Yeah. I'm on tour. Sorry, I'm in the Olympia.

[A]

This is why I don't invite you places. Well, yeah, but for July. And I'm. I'm content with that invited, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. I'm actually going to Ireland on Friday. Would you like to come with me?

[B]

I have a terrible. I have a terrible vision of you front page, the Irish Times in a. In an English rugby jersey, though. Please vote. Don't let us down.

[A]

Are you crazy?

[B]

Even if they start winning, you're gonna.

[A]

Wear an Irish rugby jersey to the rugby? Come on, it'd be a good joke. Come on. He will. I'll make sure of it.

[B]

Don't worry, he can. Because we're the Underdogs. You can't.

[A]

Are you. Are you crazy?

[B]

I'm joking.

[A]

Honesty. Think. Anyway. Okay. Email. Email. 21 minutes into the bonus. Okay, I went looking. Or handwritten letters.

[B]

I went looking.

[A]

Can I just say something about handwritten letters? The amount of thank you cards that the kids get from other children and I'm just not. What? Yeah, I'm not that mom. I really want to be that mom, but I'm not. I'm not that mom.

[B]

I got one. I got one Christmas card this year and it was from a brand.

[A]

I don't think I got any.

[B]

And then I realized, I said, joanne, you can't sit here feeling sorry for yourself. You don't send any cards. If you don't send any, you can't. You can't expect to accept any.

[A]

I don't want. I'm like, I love. I did this with Kieran, my business partner. I said, you don't get me anything for Christmas and I won't get you anything. That's my favorite kind of deal. It's the best deal to have. Don't send me a card and I won't send you a card. But so many people send thank you cards. And I'm like, I'm not terrible mom. Who doesn't get my kids to do that. They're rude.

[B]

I want to say. So I found this, you know the way we. Like we've. We've lost our. Of Culture Corner, Culture pocket, whatever we were calling ourselves. But I was obviously scrolling last night and I'm after. So there's this events company, I guess, called Pints of Knowledge, which are based in London and they do talks all around London about anything. It could be space, Instagram, gender, whatever. But I've booked one for. It's called how the Internet is Pulling Men and Women Apart, called the Algorithm Divide, which I'm very interested in because I do firmly believe that my disdain for monogamy or distrust of men at the moment is completely based on my algorithm. I do. I really.

[A]

Yeah. But once you start. Once you start clicking on certain things and that's what just comes up for you. So it just like kind of poisons you.

[B]

Exactly. So I will feed back. Carry on book.

[A]

Don't worry. We did notice that we were not invited or thought of for that either. But it's fine. I know it's a one way street. It's a one way street. No, no, no. You don't have personal private time with me. That's it. I am your personal, private time. Okay. What did we Say we were gonna do. I went looking.

[B]

I went looking.

[A]

Okay girls, why do we do it? Why do we go looking?

[B]

Because we know.

[A]

We know you go looking when you know. Oh look, I know, I know it's because we know. But seriously why also you Joe as the man in the room. Oh Joe. Jesus. My boyfriend.

[C]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

Joe's fridge. He's fine.

[A]

I just added that. I just added that line in. It wasn't in the email. My boyfriend has always been the type of to follow lots of women he barely knows on insta but he's. Because he's. And he's always taking lunch at work with his girl mates. But I went looking because I was suspicious of his relationship with this one woman at work. He often mentioned sir and it's always about a funny thing she said or done and he basically advertising that he's fancies her. I've gone into his phone and I knew the place I had to look was on his team's messages to her. I wouldn't even think about that. There it was all day, all the time, constant messages to her about all to do with work. I looked back in the last two weeks he's mentioned Valentine's to her five times. Five times. Like what the. I know exactly what we're doing for Valentine's because it's the same thing we did last year. We'll get a takeaway and he'll make the assumption that I've bought new lingerie just because he bought some roses. Don't get me wrong, I'm angry and making it sound bad but I do love him. He's just a stupid man but I'm feeling possessive because he's supposed to be my stupid man. Yeah. The last message to this woman was still no plans for Valentine's yet but better get creative. Lol. Is this guy 12? Basically is there any world that exists where I can confront him or is it too sneaky what I did? How on earth you have held back from confronting him immediately. I would have no self control. I would read them and be ringing him at the time of continuously reading the messages. I wouldn't be able to help myself so well done.

[B]

Can I ask is I don't understand the Valentine thing? Is he asking her if she's got his own.

[A]

Yeah, he's like kind of like lol. What are your plans? Like you've nothing to organize and like just kind of chatting.

[B]

Okay, so it's him to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He fancies her.

[A]

Yeah, I'd say he fancies Her? Yeah. I'd say that he's the truth. He probably knows it's gone too far. I'd say he still does. Look.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no, no. This man will stand head out proud. What are you talking about? We're only chatting. I can't have any friends. It's a work thing. But we all know he's crossing the line. He's getting his ego strokes. He fancies her. Sorry, I.

[A]

He is crossing line. I. If I was in your position, that probably wouldn't be something I'd accept. And I. I always feel bad saying this because it's someone's life and it is happening to somebody. But, like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would be too pissed off with that. It's. It's.

[B]

But the other thing is, technically, he's done nothing wrong. Like, this is just your feel, your feelings. You're like, he's giving her too much attention. It's making you uncomfortable. We know there's a flirtation there. He's obviously attracted to her in some ways. That's why he's giving her all the attention. Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, all day, all night, whatever. But, like, he's done nothing wrong. Technically, if you go by the boundaries of a relationship, like, he's not trying to. He's not suggesting they ride. He's not having sex with her. But there is an emotional line that has been crossed in. In her eyes. And I. I would agree with her. I'd be like.

[A]

Her.

[B]

I'd be like, yeah, this is. Yeah, you're playing with fire here. Now you're making me feel like. And I think it's a horrible feeling. It's a horrible feeling. I've been there myself. It was horrible.

[A]

Yeah. I think that everybody would kind of agree with you that it's gone too far. And he'll probably try and gaslight you to say that it hasn't gone too far. I always look at it and I'm like, would I do that to you in a relationship? I wouldn't do that to you. Like, what kind of respect level are we at here? Like, there's no way I would cross a line like that with somebody. And if Spenny was doing that to me, I'd be like, you're fucking dead.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

I'd make him go stay with you for a while, John.

[B]

Oh, God. I don't know where I'd put him.

[A]

He could go in the Pilates, but.

[B]

Two of us, head to toe in the bed. I'm like, we've both pissed her off. Now we need to make amends. Need to get back into the bigger.

[A]

You need to get out. I don't think necessarily, you have to, like, it's the end of a relationship here if you want to try and make it work. But that would be a big line crossing for me. That. That to me is like. It's like when people omit the truth from me. So they're not lying to me, but they're not telling me the full trut. That in itself is lying to me. So this, to me would be along the lines of cheating. And I'd be like, this isn't. It does not sit okay with me.

[B]

Yeah, there's always technicalities and people will always defend their position and all that. I had a similar situation years ago. I was going out with this guy and like, that he started this emotional affair with a woman. And he. Who never admitted anything to me, like, ever, because he was also physically cheating, but this was just an emotional thing. Said he admitted. He was like, yeah, look, we crossed a line because nothing physical happened. She was very much, you know, defending her.

[A]

Exactly what you're playing.

[B]

You know what you're doing. You know exactly what you're doing. You know what you're doing. It's a betrayal lines.

[A]

You know exactly what you're doing. You know that you shouldn't be getting involved in people's relationships like that. It's not just the woman who's at fault. I mean, I will go back to the time that I. That I scores. That guy kissed that guy when I was, like, 16 and he was going out with somebody else. And she actually mailed me. She heard it on the podcast. And I have felt so bad about that. I'm just like, I just couldn't be the one to be. But, like, then he's leading this girl on as well. Like, why is he constantly mailing her? And like. Like, why is he doing that? Like, why does he need to do that now?

[B]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not turning this into a boy girl thing. But what I will say is I've. I've met guys where there's like a vibe maybe, or some chemistry, but then they're in a relationship. So I'm like, oh, no, your grant, you know, like, I won't engage in it. When I was younger, I probably wouldn't have had the cop on, but now I do. I understand it. I'm like, no, no, I won't. We won't be texting and we won't be ringing and we won't be meeting up, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know where I've gone with that, but, yeah, it's because she can't say. She hacked into his meeting messages. Really? She can't? Like, you just can't.

[A]

Oh, God, really? No, I just. Honestly, I would not be able to hold it in. I wouldn't be. I would be ringing while reading them. I can't. I. I just want that kind of.

[B]

You know what, actually, do you know what, actually, about your dad, right? He. She's in a position to be like, he's going to defend it. He's going to say nothing happened, blah, blah, blah, and nothing has happened. Fine. But, like, whatever. He's dancing the dance with the devil. I'd be like, you know what I was really paranoid about? Something resonated with me. My instincts were on fire, My spidey senses were burning. And, yeah, I went into your phone and I've seen out there's something going on. And I'm not comfortable with this and.

[A]

It sounds really bad, but, like, he wants to chat with him. Have the chat with him. He's obviously going to defend himself and then just go fucking cold silent on him because it will take him a while to realize it. Because I'm not, like, spending. I don't fight about things like that. But, like, if me and Span have a fight about something, I'll literally say to him. I'll be like, you're doing the same thing. You're going to apologize to me in about half a day and then we'll talk. And I. And I just leave him. I'm like, if you. If you send me one more message, I'm blocking you. And, like, I'll just leave it. And you just have to say your piece, take a step back, and then he'll realize because he will try and.

[B]

Gaslight you or set him up, set a trap. Oh, God, no, Joe, no. You haven't heard it yet. I think actually if I'm. If I'm. If I'm reconnecting with my girlfriend, Flex my girlfriend muscle, which I haven't had for a while, what I would do is I'd be like, what is the crack with you and this woman? It sounds like you're fancier. Are you chat. Like, would you be chatting during the day? See what he says. Yeah, get him to. Get him to lie.

[A]

See if he does the messages and then look again.

[B]

He won't, because he saw them. He'll never think I would See what he says. And if he lies about it now, you have him by the balls. And then. Well, actually, once you skip, you. FYI, I hacked into your. Your messages, and I know you're chatting to her all day. So now you're lying to me about it. What's going on? Or. Or that's what I would do.

[A]

Leave it. Leave it like a day. Say it to him. Ask that question. He'll deny it. Leave it a day, then check again. And if he's deleted the chat, which he might do. Joanne, they're not all that stupid. If he's deleted the chat, then you say, well, I looked at your chat, and then I looked again after we spoke, and he deleted it all. So if there was nothing wrong, why did you delete it?

[B]

Objection. Objection. Your honor, she doesn't need.

[C]

Sustained.

[A]

She.

[B]

Sustained. Overruled. She doesn't need to check it again because she. She's well within her rights because he's been. He's being snaky.

[A]

Guilty as charged.

[B]

I know, but I would. I would. I would test him. I would test the waters and be like, are you chatting to her all day?

[A]

And please let us know what happens. Let us know what happens.

[B]

I mean, it could be innocent enough, but I just don't think it is. I'm sorry. Join the female commune. Get rid of this lad. He's a snake.

[A]

Joanne and I are essentially starting our own commune. She's coming to live beside me, and that's our commune. We're starting it.

[B]

It's the only way. That's why I'm going to this talk on how the algorithm is driving us all apart, because I've really lost faith in the system.

[A]

Okay. Thank you so much.

[B]

10 million. Yeah.

[A]

We'll see you on the next one. That has been enlightening. I've enjoyed myself. I've enjoyed both of you. Foreign. This has been a global player, original production.