Podcast Summary: My Therapist Ghosted Me – MTGM EXTRA! "I went looking..." (February 18, 2026)

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally

Producer/Sound: Joe

Duration: ~25 minutes

Main Theme: Relationship boundaries, suspicion, and the ever-relatable phenomenon of “going looking” through a partner’s messages—discussed with signature sharp humor and honesty.

Episode Overview

In this bonus "Extra" episode, Vogue and Joanne unpack the psychology and fallout of snooping on a partner’s private messages after a listener email. The chat, as always, is laced with hilarious tangents, current event commentary, and the duo’s trademark blend of empathy and brutal honesty about relationships, trust, and modern monogamy.

Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter: Rugby, “Bad Omens,” and National Allegiances

(00:02 - 02:37)

• Vogue’s excitement about attending Ireland v England rugby at Twickenham, and whether her presence brings bad luck:
  • "I don't look at the game though, when Ireland are playing because I genuinely feel that I bring bad luck." (A/Vogue, 00:36)
• Light-hearted stories about being a self-identified “curse” at sporting events.
• Swapping jerseys with Spencer, not letting the kids wear English jerseys, and the flexible Irish/British loyalties:
  • "That's patriotism. It, it's es and flows." (B/Joanne, 02:28)

2. Viral News and Social Media Scepticism

(02:38 - 05:14)

• Discussing a viral story about a man (“James Whitaker”) who chose a year in prison over returning $1.1m accidentally transferred to his account.
• Debating whether these stories are real or just “stunts” circulated by meme accounts like “Dude Humor Report”:
  • “If it’s not on the Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.” (B/Joanne, 04:46)
• Reflections on consuming news from “Drunk People Doing Things” and comparing yourself to “worse” people online.

3. Serious Crimes: The Lucy Letby Discussion

(05:15 - 11:10)

• Delving into the Lucy Letby case with conflicting views:
  • “I think there was flaws on both sides … but I do think she’s guilty. I do. I’m sorry.” (B/Joanne, 06:33)
  • “If police came into my bedroom in the morning … I’d have more things to say in her defense." (A/Vogue, 07:23)
• Debating the emotional behaviour of suspects, motives for crimes, and referencing other notorious medical criminal cases (Harold Shipman).
• Noting the tensions in media (e.g., “someone always has to take the shitty side” on TV panels) and opinions among nurses about Letby.

4. Lost Arts & Culture Pockets

(13:37 - 15:17)

• Quick detour about how the tradition of handwritten thank-you cards is fading:
  • "I'm not that mom. I really want to be that mom, but I'm not. I'm not that mom." (A/Vogue, 13:39)
• Joanne shares finding an interesting London event: “How the Internet is Pulling Men and Women Apart: The Algorithm Divide”:
  • “I do firmly believe that my disdain for monogamy or distrust of men … is completely based on my algorithm.” (B/Joanne, 15:05)

Advice Segment: “I went looking…” (Listener Email)

(15:34 - 24:55)

The Case:

• Listener shares she snooped (via Teams messages) on her boyfriend’s chats with a female co-worker after noticing too much attention and five mentions of Valentine’s Day. She worries about confronting him since searching his phone was “sneaky” (17:33–17:57).
  • "I've gone into his phone and I knew the place I had to look was on his team's messages to her...he's mentioned Valentine's to her five times. Five times. Like what the..." (A/Reads Email, 16:23)

Why Do We Do It?

• "Why do we do it? Why do we go looking?” (A/Vogue, 15:36)
  • “Because we know.” (B/Joanne, 15:41)

Hosts’ Unfiltered Take:

• Both agree the man is emotionally crossing a line:
  • "He fancies her.” (B/Joanne, 17:47)
  • "He probably knows it's gone too far." (A/Vogue, 17:54)
• Acknowledgement that technically no “cheating” has happened, but emotional betrayal is clear:
  • “There is an emotional line that has been crossed in her eyes. And I would agree with her.” (B/Joanne, 18:27)
  • “It does not sit okay with me.” (A/Vogue, 19:49)
• Best practice is open confrontational honesty, rather than passive resentment or further snooping.

Approaches to Confrontation:

• The “Trap” Route:
  • "What is the crack with you and this woman? See what he says... and if he lies about it now, you have him by the balls." (B/Joanne, 23:24)
• The Honest Route:
  • "My instincts were on fire...and, yeah, I went into your phone and I’ve seen that there’s something going on. And I’m not comfortable with this." (B/Joanne, 21:58)
• Vogue suggests strategic cold silence after stating your feelings and boundaries (22:25), noting that gaslighting is a likely response.

Outcome:

• Both caution that though there’s technically no physical affair, the “spidey senses are burning” for a reason.
  • "Join the female commune. Get rid of this lad. He’s a snake.” (B/Joanne, 24:32)
• They urge the listener to keep them updated on any developments.

Notable & Memorable Quotes

• “It's so funny how, like, you just have this totally other life that I don't know about. It's gas, isn't it?” (A/Vogue, 01:18)
• "If it’s not on Dude Humor Report, I refuse to believe it, frankly.” (B/Joanne, 04:46)
• "You know exactly what you’re doing. You know that you shouldn’t be getting involved in people’s relationships like that.” (A/Vogue, 20:43)
• “There is an emotional line that has been crossed in her eyes. And I would agree with her.” (B/Joanne, 18:27)
• "It's the only way. That's why I'm going to this talk on how the algorithm is driving us all apart, because I've really lost faith in the system." (B/Joanne, 24:45)
• "Thank you so much…That has been enlightening. I’ve enjoyed myself. I’ve enjoyed both of you." (A/Vogue, 24:58)

Key Timestamps

• 00:02 – Rugby chat and “bad luck” superstitions
• 02:37 – Meme news skepticism (“James Whitaker” story)
• 05:15 – Lucy Letby debate
• 13:37 – Handwritten cards, etiquette, and loss of tradition
• 15:34 – Listener email and main advice segment ("I went looking…")
• 18:10 – Emotional affairs and lines in relationships
• 21:58 – Strategies for confrontation and dealing with betrayal
• 24:32 – Commune jokes & episode close

Tone

True to format, the conversation is candid, often raucous and irreverent, yet always circling back to honest reflections on modern relationships, gossip, and navigating digital-age boundaries—anchored by Vogue’s warmth and Joanne’s blunt wit.

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