My Therapist Ghosted Me: MTGM EXTRA! "Red flags everywhere... Like a parade."

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally
Date: January 28, 2026

Episode Overview

This extra episode sees Vogue and Joanne dissect the uproar around Stephen Bartlett’s recent podcast episode with Chris Williamson—specifically, their controversial discussion on male loneliness, declining birth rates, and whether society should intervene in romantic and reproductive trends. As always, the duo offers their take with a heady mix of razor-sharp wit, blunt honesty, and vibrant storytelling, moving on to listeners’ stories of major dating red flags and navigating tricky social encounters—from casual racism to “closeted crushes” at the gym.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stephen Bartlett Controversy: Male Loneliness, Birth Rates, and Dating Apps

• Background (00:02 – 03:03):

  • Vogue introduces Stephen Bartlett’s massive UK podcast, noting they’d have addressed this sooner if not for recent Brooklyn Beckham news.
  • Joanne expresses a hope they weren’t “too hard on him” in their reactions.
  • Both women acknowledge the sadness of the situation while questioning the backlash against families and the tendency for “dirty games” akin to “what Harry did.”

• Bartlett’s Conversations (03:04 – 04:26):

  • Vogue references Bartlett’s prior episodes with Esther Perel, noting how she called him out for thinking men “have it so hard” with online dating.
  • Vogue is bemused at Bartlett and Williamson—both child-free men—discussing declining birth rates and blaming women for prioritizing careers over children.
  • Joanne ties this to the “male loneliness epidemic” and the idea of “incels” or involuntary celibates.
  • The hosts are critical of the “manosphere” narrative, in which men frame women as the barrier to propagating their “legacy.”

• Problematic Arguments (04:26 – 05:59):

  • Joanne: “[Bartlett] asked the question, should society intervene? Which of course, any woman who hears this is like, he sounds like he's trying to organize some mass grape in the town where women are going to be held down and impregnated...” (04:26)
  • Both call out Chris Williamson for “regurgitating” borrowed opinions, painting the conversation as lacking substance and dangerously one-sided.

• Dating App Culture & Real-Life Connection (07:55 – 08:48):

  • Joanne critiques the physical superficiality of dating apps (“very visible”), emphasizing real-life chemistry: “If you lined up any of my ex boyfriends, I wouldn't match with any of them on a date now... But I met them in person, I was absolutely obsessed.” (07:55)
  • Vogue agrees: she never would have swiped right on her husband “Sven,” but real-world connection worked.

2. Red Flags & Dating Etiquette for Men

• Joanne’s Rapid-Fire Advice (08:26 – 09:13):
  • “Exfoliate. It's not hard. Exfoliate. Fix your scalp issues. Do not post dating profile photos in a gaming seat... Huge flag... Don't eat your dinner off a clothes horse. Don't display every bottle of Jack Daniels like it's some achievement... Stop watching anime porn.”
  • Vogue’s additions: “Treat women with respect. Don't just expect women to want to jump at you. Understand what the person you're trying to date enjoys... Be respectful, be polite.” (09:18)

3. Deeper Problems with the Manosphere Narrative

• Notable Moment (09:33 – 10:12):

  • Joanne: “Where was the argument for men bringing something else to the table? Instead of the idea of being like handcuff a woman to a radiator and stick a baby in her against her will? ...[T]hat's not what he was suggesting, but it certainly sounded like.”
  • Vogue on the dangers of influential platforms: “...just be more careful because you've pissed off every single female that's listened to your podcast.” (09:49)

• Echo Chamber & Exclusion of Women (10:12 – 10:41):

  • Joanne, referencing Shabazz’s viral video: “The danger is... really toxic conversations which women are not involved in. And he’s... presenting these really right wing ideas... in front of a ring light with a really Shabazz voice.”
  • Vogue agrees, highlighting that these “thoughtful” but actually exclusionary conversations normalize radical, anti-women rhetoric.

4. Listener Stories: Ghosting & Cautionary Tales

• A Parade of Red Flags (11:13 – 13:36):

  • Listener recounts meeting a transformed, attractive man from her youth, only for the date to descend into horror: racist mockery at a Chinese takeaway (in front of an Asian woman), erratic behavior, and name-calling after she rejects his advances.
  • She kicks him out of her car—he absconds with the Chinese food but (happy ending) she now has a boyfriend and a new favorite takeaway.
  • Joanne: “What a douchebag. Sometimes I wonder about lads like that. They think they're being funny. Like, talk about missing the mark.” (13:36)

• Addressing Racist “Jokes” & Language (13:48 – 15:34):

  • Vogue and Joanne share experiences confronting men who think homophobic and racial slurs are colloquially acceptable.
  • Joanne on casual racism: “That felt to me like it was a racist hate crime.” (15:34)
  • Vogue: “It just kind of smacks you in the face when you hear something like that.” (15:18)

• Accent Mimicry & Cultural Sensitivity (15:34 – 17:09):

  • Joanne describes her discomfort with exaggerated Irish accents from English acquaintances.
  • Vogue grapples with when accent mimicry is harmless admiration or crosses into offensive territory.

5. Romance in the Gym: Closeted Crushes & Navigating Signals

• Listener Dilemma (17:14 – 19:52):
  • A 35-year-old gay man struggles to interpret “charged” moments with a gym acquaintance who “seems straight” but gives signs of interest—intense eye contact and “non placid penis.”
  • The guy is hot and cold; the listener wonders whether to follow him on Instagram.
  • Joanne: “As my mother says, if he wants you, he knows where you are.”
  • Vogue and Joanne agree: not to force or risk embarrassment, especially when frequenting the same gym. There’s a recognition of the “messy, crazy” world of men who are closeted or “only ride straight lads.”

6. Finding Balance: Resolutions & Self-Reflection

• Joanne’s Mission for 2026 (20:01 – 20:43):

  • Vows to “leave the house more”; aware the touring lifestyle may hinder that after one last day of “full recline and a full relax.”
  • Humorous struggle to “reinvent myself and start my new life.”

• Closing Banter (21:01 – 21:36):

  • The hosts poke fun at the idea anyone is leaving their house excessively: “Not many people leave the house that much when you don't have to.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Bartlett Episode Backlash:

  • “He sounds like he's trying to organize some mass grape in the town where women are going to be held down and impregnated or he's going to roofie the whole country.”
    — Joanne McNally (04:26)
  • “Buy a plaque. Buy a bench in a park... Women aren't resources either.”
    — Joanne McNally & Vogue Williams (06:40, 06:53)

• Relationship Advice with a Twist:

  • “If you lined up any of my ex boyfriends, I wouldn't match with any of them on a date now... but I met them in person, I was absolutely obsessed with them.”
    — Joanne McNally (07:55)

• On Red Flags in Online Dating:

  • “Do not post dating profile photos in a gaming seat... Don't eat your dinner off a clothes horse... Stop watching anime porn.”
    — Joanne McNally (08:48)

• On the Insidiousness of Manosphere Conversations:

  • “They're really toxic conversations which women are not involved in... it's like, dude, you sound like you want to roofie the world and just shag us against our will.”
    — Joanne McNally (10:41)

• Hilarious Yet Sobering Listener Story:

  • “He greets the server with ‘hero’ in a mocking Chinese accent. I nearly left my body from embarrassment. Important detail. I am Asian.”
    — Listener email (12:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – 03:03: Setting the scene—Stephen Bartlett & podcast drama
• 03:04 – 05:59: Male loneliness, birth rates, blaming women
• 07:55 – 08:48: Dating advice: apps vs. real-world
• 08:48 – 09:18: Red flags for men on dating apps (hygiene, gaming chairs, etc.)
• 13:36 – 15:34: Racist and homophobic “jokes”—real-life encounters
• 17:14 – 19:52: Gym crushes, closeted men, and reading signals
• 20:01 – 21:36: Self-improvement resolutions and playful farewell

Takeaways

• The hosts shine a light on the perils of high-profile men speculating about dating and social trends without female perspective—especially when the narrative tips into entitlement and anti-women sentiment.
• Real-world experiences, empathy, and humor trump self-pity and blame in dating.
• Red flags aren’t just bad haircuts and gaming chairs—racial insensitivity, homophobia, and entitlement end relationships before they start.
• Sometimes, the best therapy is a laugh, some solidarity, and knowing which takeaways to avoid—both literal and metaphorical.