My Therapist Ghosted Me — MTGM EXTRA! "Weaponised Incompetence."

Hosts: Vogue Williams & Joanne McNally

Date: September 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively bonus episode, Vogue and Joanne catch up on their usual mix of hilarity, honesty, and relatable life struggles. The main focus is a listener email seeking advice on "weaponised incompetence"—when a partner feigns cluelessness to avoid household chores—which leads to confessions, stories, and some surprisingly pragmatic advice. The episode features classic banter about touring, parenting, relationships, self-acceptance, and, as always, plenty of personal oversharing.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Welcome & Catching Up (00:02 - 03:02)

• Vogue arrives late, distracted by mum duties:

  • Vogue juggling three children’s wardrobes, admits to losing track of time.
  • Joanne teases, comparing Vogue to a viral video depicting distracted incompetence.

• Honesty about cosmetic work:

  • Vogue recounts telling a school mum she's had Botox. Reflects on the oddity of her honesty outside her "bubble."
  • Joanne advocates just taking the compliment:

    "If someone goes, I like your top. I go, it's nice, isn't it? Because I realized I didn't make the top... just wearing what someone else has made." (Joanne, 01:46)

• Compliment culture:

  • Discussion about the Irish tendency to deflect praise with self-criticism.

Touring, Comedy, and Living Clean (03:02 - 06:25)

• Joanne talks about her tour:

  • First big show in Glasgow—surprisingly high ticket sales.
  • Describes continuous evolution of the show, always 'tinkering' until the end.

    "The show has to grow and evolve... I still want this huge ending, which I'm still trying to figure out." (Joanne, 03:42)

• Matinee shows and audience wishes:

  • Both joke about ideal performance times for tired mums.

    "I'd love a matinee. It would really suit me." (Vogue, 06:58)

• New, healthier routines while touring:

  • Joanne vows to avoid pre-show drinks, intent on staying fit and “together” throughout the tour.
  • Praises her tour manager’s restraint and routine.

Parenting, Clothing, and Passing Things On (10:03 - 12:05)

• Clearing out kids’ wardrobes:

  • Kids grow fast, hand-me-downs abound.
  • Vogue saves special items for sentimental or practical reasons.

• Presenting kids’ clothing gifts:

  • Joanne’s “system”: gifts for now, and for “growing into,” so they last longer.

    "So I give them something to work towards, to grow into...I feel like my present is more appreciated." (Joanne, 11:23)

Food, Gross-Outs & Childhood Memories (12:05 - 13:19)

• On eating noises:
  • Joanne recalls being traumatized by a French host family’s noisy eater.
  • Vogue tells a “gross but honest” story about daughter Gigi’s egg-y kiss:

    "She had egg in her mouth...please swallow your egg first. But please don't make me eat the egg off your lips." (Vogue, 13:04)

Advice Email: “Weaponised Incompetence” (13:19 - 21:53)

Listener Letter Highlights (13:19 - 14:37)

• A woman suspects her husband is feigning incompetence to avoid chores (“I don't know how to use the washing machine”). She wants to stop feeling like his mother or resort to a Netflix true crime scenario.

Vogue & Joanne’s Advice:

• Vogue’s Take:

  • Don’t wash his clothes; let him face the consequences.
  • Handles similar issues at home (“Which one’s the dryer?”) and recognizes sometimes “genuine” incompetence.

• Joanne’s Take:

  • Advocates for a direct confrontation:

    "I think, like, have a showdown. Show how angry you are. If someone does everything for you, you get very used to it very quickly." (Joanne, 16:07)

  • Suggests having him pay for a cleaner if he refuses to chip in, or simply shifting the dynamic.

• General Reflections:

  • Not all incompetence is intentional; some genuinely haven't learned.

  • Shared stories of personal incompetence and family enabling bad habits.

    "A lot of what married women…are raising their husbands. Let's be honest, you know what I mean? They're almost like another job." (Joanne, 20:39)

  • Accept what you can't change about your partner—do what's manageable and delegate the rest.

  • Encouragement for independent living and life skills.

• Playful Exit Strategies:

  "And there's always divorce. You know me, I'm a huge fan. Your girlfriends will be delighted. Come back to the fold." (Joanne, 21:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On compliments:

  "I didn't make the top... I'm just wearing what someone else has made." (Joanne, 01:46)

• On honesty about Botox:

  "You're in your honest era. So you're just telling everyone everything. I love it." (Joanne, 01:46)

• On show evolution:

  "I'm still trying to figure out I want this, like, huge ending, which I'm still trying to figure out. But, yeah, it was a good shout..." (Joanne, 03:42)

• On weaponised incompetence:

  "If there was an Olympic event for pretending not to know how to do basic household tasks, he'd bring home the gold." (Listener email, 14:00)

  "I think kick off, like. I think kick off. I do." (Joanne, 16:07)

• On coping with mess:

  "I live alone…just to have my own place and just f*** it up…throw Ragu on the wall if I want…” (Joanne, 21:21)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Catching up & distractions: 00:02 – 01:46
• Compliment culture, honesty: 01:46 – 03:02
• Tour & routines: 03:02 – 06:25
• Parenting talk: 10:03 – 12:05
• Gross-out food anecdotes: 12:05 – 13:19
• Advice email & “Weaponised incompetence”: 13:19 – 21:53

Tone & Style

The episode is dense with rapid-fire banter, self-deprecation, and a mutual willingness to reveal personal and family quirks. The hosts maintain a playful, warm, and irreverent tone—balancing practical advice with classic comedic oversharing.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is classic “My Therapist Ghosted Me”: fast-paced, funny, and honest. Joanne and Vogue share misadventures from home and tour, reflect on the realities of sharing life (and chores) with partners, and provide both solidarity and real-world wisdom for listeners facing the dreaded “weaponised incompetence.” If you love candid chats about life’s ridiculousness, punctuated with Irish wit and empathy, this one’s for you.