Transcript

Andreu Buenafuente (0:00)

Señoras y señores, con todos ustedes, Andreu Buenafuente y Berto Romero.

Berto Romero (0:09)

Espléndido.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:12)

Sois espléndidos.

Berto Romero (0:16)

Gracias.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:17)

Bueno, bueno, Hay de todo. Gracias. Gracias.

Berto Romero (0:20)

Gracias a todos.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:22)

Muy bien. Muchas gracias por vuestra entrega, por este aplauso inicial, que es la llave de contacto de un coche que va a recorrer una hora de radio.

Berto Romero (0:32)

Tengo que hablarte de mi carnet, que sigo sacándomelo.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:35)

Hombre, hombre.

Berto Romero (0:36)

Ya estoy a punto de ir al examen de la práctica.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:39)

¿Te parece que antes te salude y te diga buenas tardes, bienvenido, o entramos ya a capón?

Berto Romero (0:44)

No, no.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:47)

Buenas tardes, Berto Romero.

Berto Romero (0:48)

Buenas tardes, Andreu Buenafuente.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:50)

Exacto. Tú dime nombre, que a veces.

Berto Romero (0:52)

Bienvenido. Bienvenido.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:53)

Bien hallado.

Berto Romero (0:54)

No, no puedo. No, no. Para, para.

Andreu Buenafuente (0:57)

Vamos. Ya está. Eso no te gusta. La gente que dice bien hallado, me parece. A mí tampoco me gusta mucho. Parece un poco facha. ¿Qué dices?

Berto Romero (1:08)

Sí, sí, sí. Ya sé que no tiene por qué. No tiene por qué. Pero me he dado cuenta que siempre lo dice gente muy fachola, un poquito ultra conservadora. Virtóname.

Andreu Buenafuente (1:20)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Nadie Sabe Nada (08/10/2016)

Hosts: Andreu Buenafuente & Berto Romero
Date: October 8, 2016
Production: SER Podcast

Main Theme

In this episode, Andreu and Berto continue the unique tradition of "Nadie Sabe Nada": an improvised radio show where anything goes, and tangents are the norm. Live from Madrid, they riff with the audience, answer spontaneous questions, share personal anecdotes, and meander through topics ranging from personal hygiene to historical hypotheticals, all laced with their signature humor and irreverence.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

Opening Banter & The Art of Improvisation

The duo opens with playful greetings and satirical confusion over social niceties, poking fun at phrases like “bien hallado” and their connotations.
- Berto: "Parece un poco facha. ¿Qué dices?" (00:57)
- They invent new, more "youthful" ways to greet each other.
Introduction to the episode is likened humorously to "turning the key on a car for an hour-long drive through radio."
- Andreu: "Este aplauso inicial, que es la llave de contacto de un coche que va a recorrer una hora de radio." (00:22)

Carnet de Conducir (Driving License Adventures)

Berto updates Andreu about his journey in learning to drive, focusing on the struggle with the clutch and embarrassing moments during driving practice.
- Berto: "Te tengo que contar que lo del embrague... lo llevo un poco regular." (31:07)
- The tale includes a moment where smoke comes out of the car, alarming a nearby motorist—humorous illustration of driving woes.
- Berto reflects on how late in life he's getting his license, with Andreu offering moral (and comic) support.
Later, Andreu suggests attending Berto’s driving exam in disguise—comic riff on being an embarrassing "cuñado" (in-law).
- Andreu: "Me pongo una barba, en serio, me pongo una peluca... Vengo a tu lado y este es mi cuñado."

Tangents and Invented Sections

The hosts brainstorm on absurd radio sections like "Vida en general," "Cosas determinadas de la vida en general," and "Domicilios hostigados." (11:13, 24:28)
Berto: "Me gustaría que lo fuera, pero creo que no iríamos a forzar. La sección de curiosidades. Vida en general me gusta." (11:02)

Personal & Family Anecdotes

Berto shares how his young son dislikes school, which leads to a nature discussion about giraffes and evolution.
- Berto: "Las jirafas salen de caballos que querían llegar más alto." (12:23)
- Debate about awkward human body shapes and their comedic value, with self-deprecating humor about their own physiques.
- Berto: “Tienes un cuerpo como el de un niño de cuatro años.” (13:22)

Absurd Audience Questions and Classic Sansón Humor

On Kings’ Cabalgatas and Blackface

Quick commentary on whether blackface is still done in Spanish Christmas parades ("cabalgatas"), with both agreeing it's an outdated and awkward practice. (04:03)
- Andreu: "Ahora ya no pintan a gente porque el rey de verdad está repartiendo los regalos." (04:22)
- Berto: "Bueno, no hay por qué pintar a nadie." (04:09)

Hygiene Dilemmas

Do you need to wash your feet in the shower or does the soap runoff suffice? Both admit reluctance to properly scrub their feet, with Berto emphasizing that neglecting feet accumulates dirt ("mucho recoveco"). (16:37–18:15)
- Andreu: "Me ha pasado hoy, esta mañana. A mí me da pereza enjabonarme los pies." (16:47)
- Berto: "El pie necesita un cariño especial porque tiene mucho recoveco." (17:41)
Bonus tangent: Using cotton swabs ("palitos") in ears—dirty pleasures and self-inflicted injury stories.

Relationship & Bathroom Etiquette

Caller Natalia asks two classic debates: "¿P pedos en pareja, sí o no?" (Farting in relationships: yes/no?) and "¿El papel higiénico se usa desde delante o desde detrás?" (How do you use toilet paper: front or back?).
- Berto: "Es un Rubicón. Y una vez lo pasas, no se vuelve hacia atrás." (28:30)
- They joke about merging her two groups of friends debating these issues.

Pop Culture Quirks

Why in movies does the bad guy always catch up to the good guy, even when walking slowly?
- Both dismiss the trope, recommending films where "all are good."
- Andreu: “A mí me gusta cuando tiran cajas de cartón en los callejones.” (19:30)
Zodiac sign changes: Brief discussion on the “news” about the zodiac “Ofiuco” and whether it matters.
- Berto: “Sigue sirviendo para nada como antes.” (20:42)

Humorous Social Commentary & Memories

Stories about unwanted visitors (insurance salesmen, Testigos de Jehová, book salesmen) and the evolution of Spanish home life.
- Berto: "Mi madre venía alguien, entra y te saco algo para picar... Allí entraba de todo." (24:00)
- "Domicilios hostigados" is coined as a new section.

Fun Science & Everyday Curiosities

Animal Curiosities

Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Andreu explains (kind of): to regulate body temperature in warm water, with playful correction and skepticism from Berto. (08:44–16:01)
- Andreu: "Levanta la pata porque el agua está muy caliente. Como cuando coges un café." (09:09)
- Audience member clarifies with proper info found online, everyone laughs over Andreu’s "documental" memory.

Audience Interactions and Local Lore

Caller Guille shares a story about visiting Cardona and meeting Berto’s dad, who used to work in the mines and loved to explain things to visitors. Touching and ridiculousness intertwine. (34:24–36:38)
- Berto: "Mi padre murió hace cuatro años... pero puede ser." (35:30)

Spa Etiquette and Social Paradoxes

Why must bald people wear swim caps in spas, but hairy-backed people are exempt?
- Andreu: “El gorro de spa... de las prendas que peor pueden sentar al ser humano junto al albornoz.” (37:56)
- Stories about embarrassing spa meetings, wearing albornoz demasiado corto.

Historical Hypotheticals

If you could change one moment in history in five minutes, where/when would you go? Lennon, Lincoln, Hitler, Julius Caesar, and even Juan Magán are discussed.
- Berto: "Ir a la infancia de Juan Magán y darle un disco de algo bueno..." (47:36)
- Andreu: "John Lennon, Edificio Dakota... decirle 'no firmes ese autógrafo'." (45:32)

Language & Everyday Philosophy

Why does repeating a word ("piel, piel") make it sound better? When does it lose effect? Absurd word games and repetition ensue. (42:37)
- Andreu: "Bueno, tú eres tonto. Tonto." (43:05)

Miscellaneous

Why do people sometimes throw trash from afar at bins knowing they'll miss? Are you the type to pick it up or walk away? Both claim to be pick-uppers. (47:49–48:10)
Where do the children who walk out with football players come from? "Criaderos de niños" is the satirical answer.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Andreu (on the show’s format): “Intentando que nuestra improvisación encaje de alguna manera y se vayan llenando los minutos con ganas eso sí lo hacemos de esta hora de radio.” (26:21)
Berto (on evolving bodies): “La naturaleza puede interpretar, quizá erróneamente, que esos genes eran los buenos... a lo mejor en un futuro cada vez el ser humano va pareciendo a un niño.” (14:10)
Andreu (on home visits): "Nuestros padres pagaban durante toda la vida su entierro. Que luego, no es por desanimar, cuando llegaba el momento eso no te cubría nada." (25:00)
Berto (on spa attire): “La mezcla es impresionante. Dices sí me voy relajado pero humillado también.” (38:07)
Berto (on historical time-travel): “Lo que podrías hacer es cuando Hitler vendía acuarelas, ir y comprárselas todas.” (46:44)
Closing food for thought:
- Andreu: “Nada es para siempre. Punto. Esta frase será cierta para siempre. Sí parece una chorrada.” (50:37)

Structured Timestamps for Major Segments

00:00–02:30: Opening banter and introduction of the show’s improvised nature.
02:30–06:00: Humorous takes on language and greetings; first audience questions.
06:00–10:00: Personal comfort, clothing, and "musical" interjections.
10:00–15:00: Animal behaviors (flamingos, giraffes), evolution, and parent anecdotes.
16:30–19:00: Hygiene debates—washing feet; ears; further audience questions.
20:00–23:00: Zodiac signs, movie villain logic, and Berto’s father’s aversion to solicitors.
24:00–30:00: Home visitor stories, driving lessons, and the etiquette of public encounters.
30:30–36:30: Driving test rituals and audience stories about Cardona.
37:30–40:20: Spa etiquette, more absurd questions (about belts, bins).
41:32–41:50: Musical break—Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5”.
42:01–47:45: More audience questions and philosophical tangents: repetition, dog mess, time travel.
47:45–51:08: Final Q&A, word games, and philosophical closing.
51:09–End: Playful closing remarks on the show and final musical outro.

Final Thoughts & Takeaway

The episode epitomizes the charm of "Nadie Sabe Nada": no script, no agenda, just Andreu and Berto’s chemistry, wit, and ability to find humor in all aspects of life. Audience interaction and self-mockery are at the core, ensuring that both absurd questions and accidental profundities find their place—often in the same sentence.

If you missed this episode, you missed an hour of beautifully chaotic, intelligent nonsense—a safe space for the world's oddest questions and Spain’s finest deadpan banter.

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Nadie sabe nada (08/10/2016)