Podcast Summary: Nadie Sabe Nada (18/03/2017)

Hosts: Andreu Buenafuente & Berto Romero
Podcast: SER Podcast
Date: March 18, 2017
Episode Title: "Nadie Sabe Nada"

Overview

In this episode, comedic powerhouses Andreu Buenafuente and Berto Romero once again sit face to face, improvising their way through listener questions, quirky anecdotes, and spontaneous banter. The show delights with surreal humor, wordplay, and a recurring joke about knowing absolutely nothing (in keeping with the show’s title). The live audience participates, adding energy and occasional interventions. The episode delivers a lesson in joyful nonsense—embracing the art of not taking anything too seriously.

Key Topics and Segments

1. Improvised Open & Atmosphere (00:47–04:55)

• The duo greets the audience from Cadena SER’s central studios in Madrid, making playful comments about their precise location:
  • “Estamos en un lateral del central” (01:01)
• They riff on what kind of mood the day brings and joke about wanting—humorously referencing a romantic song, “Hoy tengo ganas de ti.”
• Immediate banter about radio show titles; they lament not having called their show “Hablar por hablar”:
  • Berto: “Cada vez me da más rabia que el programa Hablar por Hablar no sea nuestro título.” (02:19)
  • Andreu: “Puta rabia me da.” (02:28)
• They concoct mock-heist scenarios to “steal” the name from the other show, culminating in an imaginary plan involving balaclavas.

2. Song Parody & Playful Disdain (04:09–06:25)

• A segment playing “Hoy tengo ganas de ti” by Miguel Gallardo leads to affectionate roasting:
  • “Qué llorón, qué llorón.” – Berto (04:15)
• The hosts lampoon the absurd dramatic nature of old Spanish ballads, poking fun at the over-the-top lyrics and attitudes:
  • “El tío va arrastrando el culo por el suelo como una gata.” – Berto (05:35)
  • “¿Pero no había WhatsApp en aquella época?” – Andreu (05:40)

3. The Nature of Improvisation & “Pelos” de la Nariz (06:25–07:45)

• Meta-humor about the alleged “pure state” of improvisation.
  • Berto: “Es que a mí me da rabia la frase en estado puro.” (06:16)
• Berto describes his nasal hair-trimming woes, worrying it makes him look suspiciously like a cocaine user due to frequent nose scratching.
  • Andreu: “Pues puedes hacer una cosa, cada vez que tengas un picor, tú dices la palabra ‘pelos’ y la gente ya entenderá.” (07:14)

4. Listener Questions and Rapid-Fire Absurdism (07:45–14:49)

Nicknames and the “-olo” Suffix (07:45–09:00)

• Listener asks, if “Manuel” can become “Manolo,” can “Samuel” become “Samolo?”
  • Berto: “Lo puedes llamar como quieras, el problema es que luego él te responda o no.” (08:02)
• Exploration of making humorous Spanish nicknames by adding “-olo” to various names.

Servilletas & Manteles (10:42–11:42)

• Philosophical debate: When does a big napkin become a small tablecloth?
• Berto: “A mí me da ganas de arrojar esto.” (10:59)

Anecdotes: Fan Encounters & Showerman (12:04–15:42)

• Both hosts share odd stories with fans in the street.
  • “Sé quién eres. – Pues ya sabes más que yo.” (13:06)
• Ongoing riff turns into imagining a new superhero: “Showerman.”

Self-Defeat and The Showerman Concept

• Andreu confesses his tendency to invent TV ideas that end up punishing himself (i.e., considering a monologue from a shower but thankfully aborting the plan).

5. The Dance of Zambrana & Male Menopause (15:53–18:42)

• Discussion about the town “Zambrana” leads to invention of a folkloric dance for single farmers.
• Question: “¿Existe la menopausia masculina?” leads to learning about “andropausia” (male menopause), with a humorous explanation from a listener:
  • “Pues que moja sin dejar embarazada.” (18:12)
  • Andreu: “Vamos, sí, que dejan de funcionar.” (18:15)

6. Capitalism, its Downfall, and Historic Parallels (18:42–21:08)

• Question about what system would follow capitalism leads to a deft, comedic exchange:
  • Andreu: “El capitalismo tiene sus propios mecanismos para no morir nunca o continuar como un zombie.” (18:58)
  • Berto: “Los únicos que mueren son los afectados por el capitalismo, que somos las personas.” (19:09)
• Historical references: Comparing the decline of Rome to today's systems; “Everything dies slowly, not instantly.”

7. Trivia & Questions: Fun with “Guay del Paraguay,” Food Philosophy & Kids (21:08–25:32)

• Origins of “guay del Paraguay” catchphrase—more wordplay, “la cagaste, Burt Lancaster.”
• Eating fuet (Spanish cured sausage) – passionate discussion:
  • “El fuet es adictivo, ¿no? No puedes parar de comer.” – Andreu (22:37)
  • Berto shares a story about subverting snack traditions for his kids—cutting fuet sticks lengthwise instead of into rounds.

8. Scene: Police Chase Vivécdota (27:00–36:13)

Main Story:
Berto recounts witnessing what he suspects is a plainclothes police chase on the Calle de Atocha—a narrative full of suspenseful buildup, only to deliver a delightfully underwhelming payoff.

• Berto: “Vi un policía secreta ejerciendo una persecución… súper emocionante.” (27:10)
• Describes a man talking into his fist (“le habla a su puño”) and attempts to deduce whether he’s a police officer or simply mad.
• Andreu: “Perdona que Me he perdido, ¿quién es el berraco?” (30:02)
• Berto jokes about his “intelligentísima” deduction, maintaining safe distance so as not to become part of the chase.
• The story climaxes with a mundane resolution: No arrests, just a lot of Berto tiptoeing around and feeling the adrenaline.
• Andreu: “Vaya emoción y cosa le has dado… a una mierda de anécdota. Porque no ha pasado nada.” (35:20)
• Berto: “Lo siento, mi vida ha sido aburrida.” (35:53)

9. Musical Swing & Family History (38:34–40:40)

• Glenn Miller’s swing music plays as Andreu and Berto riff on how swing affects the body (comparing it to beating a cuttlefish on wood) and swap grandparent stories.
• “El swing me pone así. Llega un momento que estoy como un muñeco roto, tío.” – Andreu (39:09)

10. Audience Interactions & Lightning Q&A (40:56–52:22)

Listeners ask:

• Would you prefer a short, intense pain or a mild long-lasting pain?
  Both: “Intenso, breve.” (41:22)
• On tattoo artists not having tattoos:
  Andreu: “No.” (44:19)
• Can you eat the end of a fuet?
  Jocular dissection of Spanish food traditions and the nature of minor intoxications.
• Childhood advice: “bite your tongue so a wasp doesn’t sting you”
  Listener Borja provides a theory: “Lo decían las madres y las abuelas para que el niño se mordiera y no gritara y no diera por culo.” (46:44)

11. Special Guest: Mario Casas (47:52–52:22)

• Not the actor, but a police officer and drummer, accompanied by his wife Gemma.
• Discusses kids’ confusion finding out about the famous actor and his life as a double-identity musician and “policía secreta.”
• Mario on his work: “Trabajo en menores en Rival Madrid... Mi compañero y yo somos un poco Berto.” (50:28)
• Light-hearted banter about possible confusion, and combining drumming with police work.
• Andreu and Berto dub him “nuestro Mario Casas” and appreciate the unexpected layers in their audience.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Naming and Nicknaming:
  “La transformación, la alteración con los finales de holo a los nombres me parece la más divertida quizá de todas.” — Andreu (08:08)
• Absurd Philosophical Musings:
  “¿A partir de cuántos centímetros cuadrados una servilleta deja de ser una servilleta grande para ser un mantel pequeño?” (10:42)
• Showerman Origin Story:
  “Es un showman dentro de una ducha.” — Andreu (13:44)
• Male Menopause Factoid:
  “Pues que moja sin dejar embarazada.” — Listener Pablo, on andropause (18:12)
• On Capitalism:
  “El capitalismo, amigo Carlitos, bonito nombre, yo creo que tiene sus propios mecanismos para no morir nunca o continuar como un zombie.” — Andreu (18:58)
• Chasing Police Story:
  “Vi un policía secreta ejerciendo una persecución… súper emocionante.” — Berto (27:10)
• Meta-reflection:
  “La risa es el orgasmo de la inteligencia.” — Andreu (43:10)
• On being called Beto:
  “Beto no, Berto. La actitud es practicamente la misma… Starbucks. Te llamo Starbucks.” — Berto (09:31)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:47 – Greeting from the studio, banter about titles and location.
• 02:19 – Joking about radio show title envy (“Hablar por Hablar”).
• 04:09 – Miguel Gallardo song parody and musical roasting.
• 06:25 – Improvisation philosophy; “pelos” nasal hair discussion.
• 07:45 – Listener Q&A begins (“Manolo/Samolo”).
• 10:42 – Big napkin/small tablecloth conundrum.
• 12:04 – Anecdotes about fan encounters and “Showerman.”
• 15:53 – Zambrana dance and male menopause segment.
• 18:42 – Capitalism and its demise.
• 21:08 – Language jokes, eating habits, “fuet” addiction.
• 27:00 – Berto’s police pursuit “vivécdota.”
• 38:34 – Glenn Miller swing break, musical musings.
• 40:56 – More listener questions, lightning round with audience participation.
• 47:52 – Interview with “Mario Casas,” the police drummer.

Conclusion

With their signature wit and partnership, Andreu and Berto transform trivialities into comedy gold. Routine, food, language, and everyday life are dissected with humor and curiosity. While “nadie sabe nada,” their improvisation skills and the vibrant involvement of audience and listeners create an episode that is anything but empty.