Podcast Summary: Nadie Sabe Nada | “Amasijo de chatarra verbal” (Dec 31, 2022)

Podcast: Nadie Sabe Nada
Hosts: Andreu Buenafuente y Berto Romero
Guest: Laura Andrés (pianista invitada), breve intervención de Arturo González-Campos
Episode Title: "Amasijo de chatarra verbal"
Original Air Date: December 31, 2022
Duration: ~53 mins

Overview

This episode of “Nadie Sabe Nada” delivers exactly what the title promises: a hilarious, freewheeling mashup of improvised comedy, digressions, and personal anecdotes. As the duo records their last show before embarking on their "gira americana", Andreu and Berto riff on everything–from nudity and musical talent to the unexpected perils of taxi rides, dental work, and the existential questions raised by feet, cats, and plastic grass. Special guest Laura Andrés joins for a live, comedic musical performance, and there’s a surprise drop-in by fellow podcaster Arturo González-Campos.

Key Segments and Discussion Topics

1. Pre-Gira American Vibes and Nostalgia (00:47–02:14)

• Andreu and Berto discuss their imminent tour to Latin America, slyly poking fun at the grandiosity of calling two shows a “gira”.
  • "Lo llamamos gira, pero... son dos ciudades." – Andreu [01:06]
  • Berto counters, justifying that as long as it’s more than one, it counts as a tour.

2. “El Desnudo” de Andreu y Reflexiones sobre Cuerpos (02:14–05:04)

• They revisit a previous on-air joke: Berto’s reaction to seeing Andreu naked for comedic effect.
  • The discussion spirals into a funny critique of Andreu’s physique:
    • "Viéndote la cara, la gente sabe de qué color tienes el pene, porque tienes pene de cara." – Berto [03:10]
  • Insights into broadcasting standards: the need to pixelate Andreu’s nudity for HBO Max, debating the effectiveness of various pixelation methods [03:47–04:18].

3. Temas Pendientes y el Arte de la Procrastinación (04:28–06:06)

• Introduction of the “Temas pendientes” (unfinished business) segment and the inability to pronounce “procrastinar”.
  • "Procrastinar no se puede pronunciar." – Berto [04:53]

4. Música, Canciones y Cuerpos: La Canción del Gato Hércules (06:11–15:04)

Preparando el número musical

• Andreu’s piano lessons are the subject of self-deprecating humor about his (supposedly) unsuited hands.
• Anecdotes about Errol Flynn, who supposedly played piano with his penis – setting a high (and absurd) bar for their performance [07:11–08:24].

Invitada sorpresa: Laura Andrés (08:35–15:04)

• Laura joins, demonstrating her “oído absoluto” and discussing how they composed a comedic song together.
• Live performance: “Hércules el gato”
  • A commission for a listener: a song detailing generic but affectionate observations about cats, their odd behaviors, and moments of chaos – culminating in mockingly sinister imagery:
    • “No nos mires mientras follamos. Maldito hijo del demonio. Sácalo de la cara de la abuela.” – Berto, singing [13:41]
• Post-performance analysis: Laura debunks the myth that you need large hands to play piano, citing famous pianist Alicia de Larrocha:
  • “…tenía unas manitas muy pequeñas y fue de las mejores pianistas a nivel mundial, así que no tiene nada que ver. La cuestión es estudiar.” – Laura [16:18]

5. Taxis y Decisiones Extrañas (16:45–17:41)

• Berto tells of a taxi where the driver insists on taking the scenic route, prioritizing personal preference over efficiency–subverting expectations of the usual “choose fastest route” dialog.
  • "Me gusta más ir por dentro de la ciudad." – el taxista, citado por Berto [17:11]

6. Ronda de Preguntas de la Urna: Jardinería y la Filosofía del Césped (17:56–20:29)

• Absurd questions from listeners prompt a deep dive into the world of artificial grass, its physical repulsiveness, and a tongue-in-cheek analogy with hair transplants:
  • “La gente que se pone pelo se tendría que poder poner pelo que no crezca.” – Berto [19:50]
  • “¿No sería mejor que te pusieran un pelo que ya se quedara con el peinado para siempre? Pelo muerto.” – Andreu y Berto [20:09]

7. Las Dentaduras Doradas de los Padres y Herencias Surrealistas (20:29–26:24)

• Berto shares a poignant and comic story about spending a fortune fixing his father’s teeth before his death, only for them to have little time to be used.
  • "Lo veía que iba falleciendo... y yo todo el rato no podía parar de pensar... por los casi 6.000 euros." – Berto [25:05]
• Escalation to imagining swapping the expensive dental work between his parents as mementos.
  • “Cuando se cogen el anillo de casado y se hacen un colgante, pues llevar la... (dentadura)” [26:14]

8. Sobre los Pies y la Existencia del Dedo Gordo (27:09–29:36)

• Dialogue on whether they’d prefer to always, or never, wear shoes. Berto launches into a delirious rant about the futility and grotesqueness of toes:
  • "Solo hay un deo que se salve de los pies, el gordo." – Berto [27:42]
• Berto proposes redistributing the big toe to the hand for better symmetry and utility [28:27–29:07].

9. Salud: La Gota, Dolencias y Microdramas (29:46–36:14)

• The inevitable march to middle age: Andreu recounts fear of gout, doctor visits, and the awkwardness of revealing one’s toes.
  • Encounter with a doctor who dismisses Andreu’s concerns and Berto’s own health issues, parodying typical hypochondria and the unhelpful directness of some medical professionals.

10. Pequeños Grandes Detalles Pandémicos (37:17–40:18)

• Berto describes a tense pandemic-era visit to a butcher’s shop, where a droplet precariously hangs from the vendor’s mask—an allegory for collective COVID anxiety.
  • "Empezaba a caer unos hilillos... y todo eso encima de la carne..." – Berto [38:41]

11. Mini-Entrevista a un Oyente Artista y Sorpresa de Arturo González-Campos (42:05–46:30)

• Audience member gifts the hosts a custom-made metallic sculpture inspired by their show.
• Discussion about kissing bald heads as a form of thanks.
• Quick cameo from podcaster Arturo González-Campos, who jokes about his heavy podcasting schedule and recurrent topics like feet and sandals.
  • "Estoy haciendo ahora mismo 45 horas (de podcast)." – Arturo [45:36]

12. Carrusel de Preguntas y Nombres Alternativos (46:36–52:10)

• Rapid-fire block responding to random audience questions.
• Hypothetical names: Berto would’ve been Sonia if born a girl, Andreu likes “Spencer” for its sense of prestige, launching a nostalgic, comically exaggerated story set in his childhood neighborhood in Reus.

Memorable Quotes/Moments (with Timestamps)

• [01:06] Andreu: “Lo llamamos gira, pero a ver, son dos ciudades.”
• [03:10] Berto: “Viendo tu cara la gente sabe de qué color tienes el pene, porque tienes pene de cara, cara, polla.”
• [04:52] Berto: “¿Alguien puede cambiar la palabra procrastinar por otra que se pueda decir coño?”
• [13:41] Berto (canción): “No nos mires mientras follamos. Maldito hijo del demonio. Sácalo de la cara de la abuela. Le ha sacado un ojo a un niño.”
• [16:18] Laura (pianista): “…tenía unas manitas muy pequeñas y fue de las mejores pianistas a nivel mundial, así que no tiene nada que ver. La cuestión es estudiar.”
• [19:50] Berto: “La gente que se pone pelo se tendría que poder poner pelo que no crezca.”
• [25:05] Berto: “Porque lo quieres, pero un poco también por los casi 6.000 euros.”
• [27:42] Berto: “Solo hay un deo que se salve de los pies, el gordo... el resto es una pandilla de deformidades repugnantes.”
• [37:17–40:18] Berto: Tense retelling of the “gota” of condensation from a butcher’s mask, bringing pandemic neuroticism to a comedic climax.
• [42:22] Berto, on receiving a handmade sculpture: “Es una mierda muy específica.”
• [45:36] Arturo González-Campos: “Estoy haciendo ahora mismo 45 horas (de podcast). La cifra la he perdido.”

Tone & Style

• Improvised, irreverent, and deeply conversational.
• Mixes absurdity with clever wordplay and unexpected vulnerability (notably in Berto’s family anecdotes).
• The hosts frequently lampoon themselves and each other, often reaching the outer limits of good taste with physical comedy and playful vulgarity.

Notable Guest Segment

Laura Andrés’ Participation (08:35–16:34)

• Demonstrates musical prowess and comedic chemistry, culminating in the performance of “Hércules el gato.”
• Debates about the requirements for musical skill and the relativity of “hand size” as a barrier.

Episode Structure

• Intro & Tour Announcement
• Main Banter: Physical/body humor, self-deprecation
• Musical Interlude: Song composition and performance
• Audience Interaction: Reader/listener questions, on-the-spot stories
• Surprise Guest: Fellow comedian/podcaster
• Final Lighthearted Hypotheticals: Childhood and “what if”s

Timestamps for Key Sections

• 00:47 – 02:14: Pre-gira banter and nerves
• 02:14 – 05:04: "El desnudo" anecdote
• 06:11 – 16:34: Songwriting and performance with Laura Andrés
• 20:29 – 26:24: Berto’s golden teeth family saga
• 27:09 – 29:36: Anatomy and philosophy of feet
• 37:17 – 40:18: Butcher shop pandemic anecdote
• 42:05 – 43:33: Audience metalwork gift
• 44:29 – 46:30: Arturo González-Campos intervention
• 46:36 – 52:10: Carousel of questions & closing stories

For New Listeners

This episode encapsulates the essence of “Nadie Sabe Nada”: sharp improvisation, fearless meandering, surreal humor, absurdity, and moments of genuine heart, all delivered with the seasoned timing and chemistry of Andreu & Berto.
The episode stands alone–no prior knowledge required–but familiarity with their ongoing in-jokes and personalities will only enhance the enjoyment.