National Park After Dark – Episode 345: Trail Tales 84

Date: January 1, 2026
Hosts: Danielle & Cassie

Main Theme & Purpose

This Trail Tales episode continues the beloved NPAD tradition of sharing listener-submitted stories about wild, weird, and sometimes scary or hilarious experiences in parks and public lands. Danielle and Cassie read and react to five tales that run the gamut from embarrassing water sport mishaps, heart-pounding wildlife encounters, harrowing moments on the fire line, animal heroics, to the outlandishly unexplained. Their trademark banter and encouragement to “watch your back” anchor the stories in community, adventure, and comedic relief, all while reminding listeners to respect and protect wild spaces.

Key Stories, Insights & Memorable Moments

1. Water Where the Sun Should Never Shine (00:40–08:13)

• Summary:
  Cassie reads a listener’s story about a tubing mishap on a Michigan lake. What starts as a competitive and wild ride on a “sofa tube” behind the friend’s maniacal dad-powered boat ends in embarrassment. After being flung off and landing hard, the narrator spends the rest of the day “pooping lake water”—a side effect of landing booty-first with dramatic force.

• Key Insights:

  • Even “safe” looking water toys can lead to dramatic (and embarrassing) moments, especially with an overzealous driver.
  • Embarrassing stories are often crowd favorites, especially those involving bodily functions—though Danielle playfully laments, “Please tell us something that’s embarrassing that doesn’t involve poop. And people have a really hard time.” (01:22)

• Notable Quotes:

  • “[Sadie’s dad] started making sharper turns, and my hands were starting to get sore from holding on. I can be very competitive. I didn’t want Mike to win, so I squeezed my hands tighter... That was until we hit one monstrous wave just right. Everything went into slow motion.” – Storyteller (04:34)
  • “Did I forget to mention that this room was right next to the living room? Nobody said a word, but I knew they could hear me. I proceeded to release lake water 12 times.” – Storyteller (07:06)
  • “Four months is a trick. It’s like it’s the testing point.” – Danielle (07:32)
  • “Sometimes you got to poop lake water and that’s just life.” – Danielle (07:42)

2. Face to Face with a Mountain Lion (08:29–13:52)

• Summary:
  Danielle reads a harrowing tale from a hiker in Colorado’s San Juan National Forest. The storyteller and their dog, Indy, survive being actively stalked and charged multiple times by a mountain lion over 40 tense minutes. Bear spray malfunctions and self-inflicted pepper spray only add to the chaos—but the hiker and Indy escape, thanks to Indy’s bravery.

• Key Insights:

  • Encounters with mountain lions are exceedingly rare and extremely dangerous; preparation versus reality can diverge quickly.
  • Dogs can be both an added danger and a protector during wildlife encounters; in this case, Indy appears to have saved the day.

• Notable Quotes & Moments:

  • “For over 40 minutes, this animal stalked me and charged me three separate times. I can’t explain the terror...” – Storyteller (08:29)
  • “I pulled the trigger. And instead of a powerful jet, I got a weak, rusty mist that blew right back into my own face.” – Storyteller (10:59)
  • “My lips and lungs burned. My dog flinched. The mountain lion didn’t even care.” – Storyteller (11:21)
  • “I cannot describe the relief when I finally saw the parking lot and we got into my car.” – Storyteller (12:37)
  • Danielle and Cassie reflect on animal behavior, suspecting the lion might have been protecting cubs: “I wonder if maybe it had cubs or something nearby...it wanted them to know it was there.” – Cassie (13:18)

3. The Night I Felt Most Alone (19:02–26:20)

• Summary:
  A Virginia wildland firefighter and forest ecologist named Zoe recounts a night battling wildfire on Bull Run Mountain. Initially joined by a large crew and heavy equipment, Zoe ends up alone at 4am on the ridgeline—her only company the daunting fire and the sound of her own thoughts—when the fire crew leaves without notice.

• Key Insights:

  • The story highlights both the adrenaline and isolation experienced by first responders in the wilderness.
  • Firefighting protocol demands backup, but miscommunication (or simple assumptions) can leave one in danger.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “There is just something about being on top of a mountain at 4am with nothing but the cold wind blowing and the slow, sure crackle of fire moving around you. A few moments I sat and stared into the darkness...and I felt the most alone I have ever felt.” – Zoe (24:55)
  • “We ran out of water so we thought we were done. My response was you certainly know where to find it. Refill and come back. This fire is not contained.” – Zoe (25:29)
  • “It's like thanks for thinking I'm capable or screw you for forgetting me. Yeah, either one.” – Danielle (26:20)

4. Don’t Smoke Cigs with Bears (28:38–43:26)

• Summary:
  Lizzie, a trail worker in the Bob Marshall Wilderness, tells a story of accidental close quarters with a black bear. On her final night after a grueling hitch, she sneaks outside the crowded cabin for a smoke—without her bear spray. When a bear appears below, a herd of curious mules steps between her and the bear, effectively keeping her safe until the bear moves on.

• Key Insights:

  • Even the best outdoorspeople can become complacent about safety, but luck (and animals) sometimes save the day.
  • Mules, often used in wilderness work, display unexpected courage, acting as formidable barriers to predators.

• Notable Quotes & Moments:

  • “As soon as I took my first drag...I saw a healthy sized black bear emerge from under the bridge, walking in my direction...I forgot to grab my bear spray.” – Lizzie (40:15)
  • “Within moments, mules moved past me, forming a line side by side...making a wall between me and the bear.” – Lizzie (42:03)
  • “Long story short, not all heroes wear capes, including mules. I truly think those mules saved me from a dicey situation.” – Lizzie (43:14)
  • “Now I gotta get a mule.” – Cassie (43:26)

• Memorable Banter:
  Cassie and Danielle digress with tales about confusing dog and wildlife sightings, sharing both serious and hilarious examples of mistaken animal identity among the public.

5. Pizza Hut in the Narrows of Zion National Park (47:49–56:35)

• Summary:
  Taylor details taking her non-outdoorsy dad hiking in the Narrows, Zion National Park. Despite warnings, her dad is convinced there will be a Pizza Hut or hot dog stand on the trail and neglects to eat beforehand. Predictably, there is no food; his belief is only broken after asking a stranger. He bails, but miraculously finds his way back to the outfitters and manages to get Cheez-Its on IOU.

• Key Insights:

  • Non-hikers can have wildly unrealistic expectations about park amenities.
  • The humor in the disconnect highlights the cultural differences between “city people” and park-savvy hikers.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “He said he wasn’t hungry yet and he would be fine. You know why? Because, and I quote, ‘there will be a Pizza Hut or hot dog stand or something there.’ My flabbers were gassed.” – Taylor (51:16)
  • “Ask that guy next to you.” – Taylor’s dad, insisting there must be food on the trail, leading to a priceless stranger’s reaction (54:51)
  • “Taylor, your dad truly is not on this planet.” – Danielle (56:35)

6. The Demon Trapezoid (59:37–67:00)

• Summary:
  A listener recounts her brother Eric’s strange and unsettling experience while camping in Medicine Bow National Park near Steamboat Springs, CO. Eric and his then-wife notice a massive black trapezoidal shape watching them from a boulder field. After a terrified hunter flees, the shape vanishes. A bizarre, “off” deer approaches their camp. The next morning, a sock goes missing and then mysteriously reappears on their bags. Eric invites other listeners to connect if they’ve experienced anything similar.

• Key Insights:

  • The wilderness still offers mysteries that defy easy explanation and spark the imagination—paranormal? Alien? Shape-shifting cryptids?
  • The episode closes with classic NPAD wonder at the strange, unexplained happenings reported from America’s public lands.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “They both noticed a very large black trapezoidal shape with some white on it sitting very still in the boulder field...They both said it felt like it was watching them...much too large to be a bear or a moose and taller than any of the trees in the area.” – Storyteller (61:07)
  • “It is the trapezoid. It’s now a deer. It was once a trapezoid and now it’s trying to be a deer.” – Danielle (63:39)
  • “Get the sock. It's aliens. It's aliens for sure.” – Cassie (65:08)

Notable Banter, Themes, and Takeaways

• On the Joy of Embarrassment:

  • “Poop is the most embarrassing. Arguably, but we’ll find out anyway.” – Cassie (01:37)

• On Animal Misidentification:

  • Hilarious tales about people mistaking bulldogs for mountain lions and dogs for wildlife, highlighting both confusion and the real-life dangers of mistaken identity in the wild, especially during hunting season.

• On Safety and Preparation:

  • Stories reinforce the need for bear spray, proper fire protocol, and realistic planning for backcountry trips—while poking fun at all-too-human lapses.

• On Mystery and Community:

  • From shape-shifting UFOs to mule heroism, the trail tales highlight not only the unpredictability of wild places but the importance of storytelling and shared experience.

Structure & Flow

Each listener-submitted story is followed by Danielle and Cassie’s candid, comedic, and thoughtful reactions. Their conversational style, often tangential but always entertaining, keeps the episode light even as it touches on near-misses and the supernatural. The hosts’ genuine care for listener experiences and shared fascination with the strange and awe-inspiring aspects of public lands make the stories feel personal and universal at once.

Closing Notes

Listeners are invited to submit their own tales for future episodes, and those wanting even more “Trail Tales” are encouraged to join Patreon or Apple Subscriptions for bonus content. The episode wraps with good-natured resolution and a reminder, as always, to “enjoy the view, but watch your back.”

Useful Timestamps

| Segment | Time |
|---|---|
| Water Where the Sun Should Never Shine | 00:40–08:13 | | Face to Face with a Mountain Lion | 08:29–13:52 | | The Night I Felt Most Alone | 19:02–26:20 | | Don’t Smoke Cigs with Bears | 28:38–43:26 | | Pizza Hut in the Narrows | 47:49–56:35 | | The Demon Trapezoid | 59:37–67:00 |

Tone:
Candid, humorous, sometimes unnerved but always community-focused; hosts riff on both the hazards and hilarity of park life, with warmth for both the wild and the human foibles within it.

Quote for the Road:
“Sometimes you got to poop lake water and that’s just life.” – Danielle (07:42)

For more stories or to submit your own, visit npadpodcast.com or connect on social media.