Podcast Summary: Navigating Adult ADHD – Ep. 103

"5 Surprising Ways ADHDers Get Dopamine"

Host: Xena Jones
Date: March 3, 2025

Overview

In Episode 103 of "Navigating Adult ADHD," coach Xena Jones explores the concept of dopamine and how ADHD brains seek it out in often unexpected ways. Using research-backed insights and candid anecdotes, Xena outlines five surprising behaviors that provide dopamine "hits" for adults with ADHD. The episode combines science, humor, and personal stories to empower listeners with greater understanding of their own brains, and practical suggestions for managing these dopamine-seeking tendencies.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The ADHD Brain and Dopamine (00:58–03:09)

• ADHD brains have decreased baseline dopamine, making everyday tasks feel more challenging.

• Dopamine is crucial for mood, motivation, memory, and learning.

  "Our brains, our ADHD brains, run on dopamine just like a car runs on fuel...and we will go to great lengths to get more dopamine."
  — Xena (01:27)

• ADHD medications often focus on increasing dopamine availability.

2. Five Surprising Ways ADHDers Seek Dopamine

1. Picking Fights (03:38–05:38)

• Arguments, debates, and drama (online or in-person) are highly stimulating.

• The fight-or-flight response releases dopamine, providing a short-term mood boost.

• Personal anecdote: Xena describes how she’s more likely to pick a fight with her partner late at night after her medication has worn off.

  "Arguments are stimulating, and that stimulation can feel good, right? It kind of lights up the brain, right? The drama, the intensity, the engagement."
  — Xena (04:09)

• Awareness is key: These conflicts can harm relationships and cause regret afterward.

2. Big Ideas and Brainstorms (05:39–09:28)

• Having new ideas is thrilling and releases a surge of dopamine.

• ADHDers often start new projects (e.g. knitting, painting) with enthusiasm, but lose interest once the initial dopamine burst fades.

• Xena’s solution: Create an "ideas bank" to capture inventive moments without pressuring herself to act on every idea.

  "We get so much dopamine up front from the idea...then when we go back to it later, we don't get that same hit, that same high, that same feeling..."
  — Xena (07:55)

3. Skin Picking and Squeezing (09:29–12:09)

• Many ADHDers engage in body-focused repetitive behaviors, such as skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting.

• These can serve as self-soothing, regulation, or simply be sensory-seeking.

• Xena admits to finding blackhead-extraction videos "so satisfying," while her partner is repulsed.

  "It's secretly so satisfying...that is linked to a dopamine release and there's that sensory stimulation in there as well."
  — Xena (09:49)

• There are now many fidget tools to provide safer sensory input.

4. Gossiping and Engaging with Drama (12:09–14:01)

• Gossip and discussing others (not necessarily maliciously) provide stimulation and intrigue.

• Xena shares her own fascination with human behavior—from high school to the office.

  "I'm fascinated by the brain and behavior...that social engagement and intrigue, of course, lights up our dopamine circuit."
  — Xena (12:41)

• Caution: This can lead to worry (e.g., “Do others gossip about me?”) and stress.

• Xena recommends swapping unhealthy gossip for reality TV or true-crime podcasts, which can offer similar stimulation without real-life consequences.

5. Daydreaming and Fantasizing (14:02–18:32)

• Both positive ("away with the fairies") and negative (catastrophizing) daydreaming offers novelty and excitement.

• From childhood ("that explains so much of my childhood") to adulthood (fantasy trips, alternate realities), Xena explains how her imagination triggers dopamine.

  "Our brains love novelty. Novelty produces so much dopamine, right? Even if it's just in our imagination."
  — Xena (16:50)

• While often harmless, excessive fantasizing can lead to avoidance or disappointment if reality falls short.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Sometimes you look back later and you're like, oh my God, why were we arguing about that? ... You might just be dopamine seeking without even realizing it." (01:17)
• "I have ideas for ideas, literally, right?" (08:21)
• "You will know if you're one of those people who can watch those blackhead videos...I'm gonna admit it out loud on the podcast." (09:29)
• "I was always that person in high school. I was, like, such a gossip. I will totally admit." (12:30)
• "I would wander around this giant farm that we had, and I'd talk to our animals...it was like I was being interviewed, which is so funny because now I record a podcast." (15:55)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:58–03:09 – Explaining dopamine and its effects on the ADHD brain
• 03:38–05:38 – 1st way: Picking fights (personal examples and relationship impacts)
• 05:39–09:28 – 2nd way: Getting high off new ideas and the concept of an "ideas bank"
• 09:29–12:09 – 3rd way: Skin picking/squeezing and alternative sensory strategies
• 12:09–14:01 – 4th way: Gossiping, analyzing drama, and managing social stimulation
• 14:02–18:32 – 5th way: Daydreaming and fantasizing for novelty and excitement

Takeaway Messages

• ADHD dopamine-seeking behaviors are neither inherently good nor bad, but being aware of them can help you make conscious choices.
• Some behaviors (stimmy fights, skin picking, negative gossip) may be replaced with healthier forms of stimulation for better well-being.
• Understanding your own dopamine needs can empower you to work with your ADHD brain to pursue goals, self-regulate, and improve your daily experience.

Closing Reflection

Xena leaves listeners with the challenge:

"What are your go-to dopamine habits? Are they helping you, or holding you back? And if so, could you switch them out? Could you change them up?" (18:32)

She encourages everyone to seek out "slow dopamine" sources and leverages understanding as a tool to thrive with ADHD.

For further support and resources, visit: navigatingadultadhd.com