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A
You are listening to the Navigating Adult ADHD Podcast with your ADHD coach and expert, Xena. Hello, my beautiful friend. Hello, adhder, and welcome back to Navigating Adult ADHD Podcast, where I am super excited for this episode. This is actually quite a fun one, and I've got plenty of examples from my own life to be sharing with you today. Now, before we dive in and have you hit subscribe, have you subscribed to this podcast wherever you are listening to it so you don't miss out, get all of the good things. Please do that, because I love bringing this podcast out to you. And if you're loving it, please let me know. Please subscribe. Please leave a review. All the things. All right, so have you ever found yourself gossiping when you don't really want to be talking about other people? But it's just so interesting, because I know I have. Or maybe do you find that you, you know, pick a fight with your partner over something ridiculous like grating a carrot?
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Right?
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Do you ever pick fights on something that just is so silly and you look back later and you're like, oh, my God, why were we arguing about that? Why did I, like, go on and on about that? Yeah. Or maybe you've lost hours, like staring at a wall, daydreaming, right? Just thinking about the future and what could happen. Well, my friend, if you nodded to any of those, you might just be dopamine seeking without even realizing it. So as we know, our brains, our ADHD brains run on dopamine just like a car runs on fuel, okay? And without enough of it, without enough dopamine running through our brain, everything feels hard, okay? And we will go to great lengths to get more dopamine. So we know, as ADHD is right, we've got lower levels of this magical chemical, this neurotransmitter called dopamine, and that plays a big role in many of our ADHD symptoms. So dopamine is often referred to as the feel good neurotransmitter in the brain because when we get it, when we get it released in the system, it does. It feels really, really, really good, okay? But it does play a very big role for us ADHDers in mood, right? How we feel our mood, it plays a big role in memory, our ability to remember or not remember things. So when we're learning new information, right? If we don't have enough dopamine in our system, it is very hard to retain and learn new things. Motivation, right? Dopamine is often referred to as the motivation chemical in the brain.
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Okay?
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So those of us with adhd, we wake up with a little bit less of this stuff in the tank every single day. And it is one of the key ingredients in many of the ADHD medications, especially the stimulant based medications.
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Right?
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So things that produce dopamine are things that are stimulating or enjoyable to you. So this will be unique to each of us. Of course there's going to be lots of overlap, but it's also going to be unique. So today I am going to share with you five surprising ways that us ADHDers get dopamine. Now, some of these you might just recognise in yourself or the people around you. So number one is picking a fight. Yes. Now, it's not always intentional, but the thing is that arguments are stimulating and that stimulation can feel good, right? It kind of lights up the brain, right? The drama, the intensity, the engagement, right? All very stimulating. Okay? So that produces that magical chemical, that magical dopamine for us. Now it might be an in person argument, right? I know for me, my partner is very aware of this when it's late at night. And late for me is like anytime after nine, let's be honest, I get up pretty early. So anytime after 9 is late. But when it's, you know, late at night and we're sitting in bed and we're like winding down, I might be reading my book and what have you, like, he can literally just breathe. Wrong. Or make a comment that wasn't intentional. Like last night, for example, he. I can't remember how it came about, but he made a comment to like there being air in my head, right? And next minute I was like, so you're calling me an airhead then, right? And he was like, oh my God. No, no, no, no, that's not what I mean. I'm so sorry. Like you could see him backpedaling so fast because he just knew this is the time of night where like I am prime to pick a fight because my meds have worn off, it's late, I'm tired. Like all of the things prime fight picking time because it's what, it's stimulating, right? So again, it can be in person, but it could be like a heated Facebook debate, right? Like, you know, sometimes you'll be like reading comments and you'll be like, damn, that person's going to town on this thing. Right? Like in some thread, right? Like it could be that again, dopamine being produced. Now we've got to be careful with this one because it can damage relationships.
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Right.
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Like, both my partner and I are very aware that in the evenings, like, especially this time, kind of after nine o' clock at night, it can happen. So we're both aware of it and mindful of it, and we kind of play with it, but it can, you know, it can leave us feeling regretful. Like, before I was aware of this, there would be some sleepless nights where, like, you know, I was just tossing and turning because of this kind of argument that was so pity and silly and just had me very awake and overthinking, let's say, right? So picking a fight, number one. Number two, big ideas. Ideas. That's right. The thrill of new ideas, right? Having an idea is producing dopamine, right? When we have an idea, like, oh, my gosh, like, I'm thinking about starting this new business. Like, oh, my God, like, oh, my gosh, I have just thought that I should create this thing to go with that, and, oh, my God, it's so needed. Like. Like, even you just hear with my excitement into saying those things, right? Like, the ideas that we have can produce so much dopamine. So what that can lead to is, like, rapidly starting something new, right? Oh, my gosh, Like, I'm gonna take up knitting and, like, you know, buy all the things. Like, I took up, like, oh, my gosh, I am going to do fluoro artwork, and I bought, like, all of the painting supplies and all of this, and then I painted, like, two things and then stuck it all away in the cupboard, right? Like, but this idea that I'm gonna, like, become, like, a fluoro artist and, like, have all these bright, beautiful colored paintings and, like, you know, maybe, like, sell them at markets. Like, this idea produced so much dopamine, which led to me, like, starting this new project, but then not always finishing it, right? And this is why we see a lot of us with adhd, right? We have no shortage of ideas, but we often have, like, a shortage of, like, implementing them or following them through. And that is because we get so much dopamine up front from the idea. We get this huge release of chemicals. It feels amazing. And then when we go back to it later, we don't get that same hit, that same high, that same feeling, and we make it mean, oh, I probably shouldn't be doing this. I probably should go do something else, right? I can so relate to that. Okay, so one of the things that I have found very helpful with this because this happens to me all the time, right? I'm always thinking of, like, new ideas for, like, podcast Episodes that I could be sharing or like, things I could create. Free trainings I could be doing. Like, I'm wanting to write a book. So ideas for like going in the book, all of these things. Ideas, ideas, ideas all the time. So much dopamine, it's awesome. But I'm very aware I can't do them all. I'm not going to do them all. And some of them are going to be short lived. So you bank them, okay? Start an ideas bank. I've got a list on my phone, right? You can just do this in the notes app. But I've got a list of my ideas and I put them into categories, right? Like, I've got like, you know, personal ones. I've got like food ideas, like for like meals and stuff. I've got ideas for like, work. I've got ideas for podcasts. Like, I've got ideas for ideas, literally, right? But I've got like little categories and then I stick them all in this one place where all of my ideas are, okay? So that way you're banking them and you can revisit them later if they are still like tugging at you. And sometimes I'm like, oh, I totally forgot about that. And actually, you know what? I don't think that's a very good idea anymore, literally. It happens with podcast episodes all the time, right? So ideas is a really big source of dopamine for us. All right? Number three is skin picking and squeezing. Okay. Like, and you will know if you're one of those people who are like, yeah, yeah, I get that.
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Right?
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Like one of those people who can watch like those like blackhead videos that go around. Yeah, me too. I'm gonna admit it out loud on the podcast. I can watch those two and it's pretty damn satisfying. My partner's the total opposite. He's like horrified by it. He thinks it's disgusting. And I'm like, it's secretly so satisfying.
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Right?
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But that is linked to like a dopamine release and there's that sensory sort of stimulation in there as well. All right, so there's kind of the sensory element. But yeah, again, it's the stimulation. The production of dopamine is happening. So we know as ADHDers, many of us can have like body focused, repetitive behaviors, right? So it might be picking at our skin. It could be nail biting or hair pulling, these sorts of things, right? And it's a form of sometimes stimming, right? Like, it is that sort of stimming that was referred to as stimulating behavior or sometimes It's a regulation thing. It's helping us to kind of dial back our emotions and sort of self soothe in a way and regulate.
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Okay.
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And it does. Like when you are picking and squeezing, it feels soothing. It feels somewhat rewarding. But we've got to be careful because it can lead to, you know, harm in some ways, in some cases, or feelings of guilt or shame. Okay, now to be fair, there are some pretty incredible sensory, what is it? Tools and fidget tools that you can get now. Like, there's just more and more coming out on the market. I got the other day this, actually this kind of cube, and I use it sometimes when I'm watching television in the evening and I would rather, you know, I want to grab my phone and start scrolling. Is this cube, and it's like a gel kind of cube and it's all squishy and you can squish it and there's kind of bubbles inside it that you can hear popping. It's so satisfying. But back to the skin picking and squeezing. Funny, funny story. I was talking about this on a class I ran recently on dopamine and talking about how skin picking and squeezing is one of the surprising ways in which we might be getting dopamine. And then my phone and my social media feed started showing me, like, blackhead popping videos, like, everywhere. Like, I went on TikTok, I went on Instagram, and I was like, it just keeps coming up over and over again. And I was like, oh, that's hilarious. The phone is always listening, and now it's showing me the video thinking that I want to see them all. Right, so again, my friends, skin picking and squeezing is another surprising source of dopamine for us. Okay, number four is gossiping or kind of like the drama, right? And analyzing drama.
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Right?
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But gossiping. Now, I'm not saying necessarily in a mean way, right? Like not being like, the mean girls. Like, oh, my God, did you hear that? Telly did this. Oh, my God, that's so disgusting. I'm so horrified for her. No, whatever. Like, no, their voice come from, but not necessarily in a mean way. But I'm talking about, like, dissecting other people's situations, like analyzing people's behavior. Of course that's something I love to do. I'm fascinated by the brain and behavior, right? Like, it could be just kind of like sharing the tea, spilling the tea, right? Because that can be what. It can be highly stimulating for our brain. Like, I was always that person in high school. Like, I was like, such a gossip. I will Totally admit, like, in high school, like, I was a gossip, but not in a mean way, but just, like, so interested in what everyone else was doing and what was. Who was with who and who was talking about who and who was doing what and all of these things.
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Right.
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And then again, even in the workplace, but more in the workplace, like, I remember being so fascinated by behavior. Like, why do we think she did that? What do you think was going through her head that, like, led to that?
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Right?
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So, yeah, that social engagement and intrigue, of course, lights up our dopamine circuit right now. It can become a little problematic when it's, like, fueling negativity or stress or worry.
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Right.
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And of course, like, if we are doing that, if we are sort of, let's say, engaging in sort of gossiping and talking about other people, what often I see happening happens is we worry, oh, that person who told me that and we talked about, you know, let's say Lucy was telling me about Sally and we were, you know, talking about it. Does that mean that Lucy talks about me like that to other people?
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Right.
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Like, sometimes we can get really in our head and worry, oh, does that person then talk about me like that in front of others?
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Right.
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So I think we just have to be mindful of this one because sometimes it can cause us a lot of stress when we are with people and doing this with people who have different values to us. Okay. There's a difference, I think, in being really interested in somebody's life and what's happening with them and what's going on and just, like, interested in human behavior and wanting to, like, tear people down and, like, talk shit about them, I think that's a very different thing. Okay, so one of the. One of the kind of suggestions I had, if this is something that you're struggling with, like, if you're kind of, like, attracting people who like to do this, who don't necessarily align with your values, and it doesn't feel good and it is stressing you out. One of the things I would suggest swapping it for is your reality TV shows or your true crime dramas or podcasts, right? Like those psychology deep dives. You can get some incredible, wild, crazy documentaries on your Netflix, on your whatever, like your Amazon prime, and even, like, in terms of podcasts, so you can get some incredible shit these days, right? So definitely that's another great source of dopamine, because then we take it and we're completely removed from it. All right, Number five is daydreaming and fantasizing right now. I was like. When I kind of had this realization, I was like, holy shit. Like, that explains so much of my childhood. I was the daydreamer, right? Were you possibly that daydreamer in school? You know, the one who was, like, you know, called upon, and you were, like, staring out at the ceiling, and the teacher's, like, asking you a question, and you're like, oh, shit. Like, what were they saying? I didn't hear it.
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Right.
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Maybe you even had those report cards again that read, you know, away with the fairies. Daydreaming would do well if she applied herself, those sorts of things, because that was 100% me. I remember I grew up on a farm, right? And I grew up, although I had two older brothers. One passed away when I was young, but I grew up very much like an only child because they didn't live with me, right? They'd already moved out when I was young. And so I would wander around this giant farm that we had, and I'd, like, talk to our animals and stuff, but I would just talk out loud all of the time. And I would be, like, daydreaming, like, talking about, you know, being this. This actress in a movie and, like, what I was doing. And, like, it was like I was being interviewed, which is so funny because now I record a podcast. So it kind of is like, that wild. But, like, I would, you know, just come up with these fantasies and these, like, wild, you know, things that were happening in my life, and I'd just be relaying them all day long, daydreaming and fantasizing, right? Like, and we, like, even today, like, even now, imagining exciting scenarios, right? Like, I have booked a whole month in Hawaii, and what do you think my brain is doing? Imagining all of the exciting things, the scenarios, like how it's going to plan out all of the things, the alternate realities that will exist over there, right? But that is a major source of dopamine for our brain, right? Daydreaming, fantasizing. We can also do this in the negative and go catastrophizing, right? We can go, you know, way down the other end of the scale again, because it's stimulating, it's exciting, it's novel, it's new, right? All of those things produce dopamine for our brain. Our brains love novelty. Novelty produces so much dopamine, right? Even if it's just in our imagination. Isn't that kind of cool? It's a pretty cool skill to be able to have. We can turn it on by daydreaming, by being Novel inside our brain right now can be totally fun and harmless. But sometimes, like I said, it can lead to avoidance or disappointment when our reality doesn't match the fantasy. Or it can lead to things like catastrophizing, etc. So we've got to be careful with that one. Okay, so again, all five of these things today, right? Number one, picking fights. Number two, ideas, right, Having ideas. Number three, skin picking and squeezing. Number four, gossiping and, you know, engaging in drama. And number five, daydreaming and fantasizing. All five of these are ways that we seek and produce dopamine. Now, these things are not good or bad, right? They're just things to be aware of.
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Okay?
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Isn't it so interesting the places in which we can get stimulation to get dopamine in our brain? So, my friend, what are your go to dopamine habits? And are they things that help you, right, that help you to, you know, be the person you want to be? Or are they perhaps things that might be hurting you or holding you back? And if so, like, could you switch them out? Could you change them up?
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Right?
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You've probably heard me talk about it on the podcast before. There's the quick dopamine sources and the slow dopamine, because not all dopamine is created equal, and that's very important. Okay? We can increase our dopamine levels naturally. There are so many things that we can do, right? Leaning towards those slow dopamine categories to help us do that. And understanding dopamine is one of the ways that we can work with our ADHD brains. So, my friend, that is a really quick dive into some of the surprising places that your brain could be getting some dopamine. And speaking of dopamine, if you want to give me a little boost of dopamine, I would love if you would leave a quick review. If you're enjoying the podcast, if you want to leave us a review wherever you are listening, that would be incredible. When I read those, I tell you I get a huge surge of dopamine, and then I screenshot them and save them to my phone and. And generally have about probably 10,000 screenshots and forget. But I love reading them and hearing what you guys are resonating with all the things. And it does help other people to find us and understand what the podcast is about. So, again, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being part of the navigating adult ADHD community. All right, Huge love. I'm sending you so much dopamine Take care my friend. I'll speak to you next week. Hey friend, if you want some more help navigating and thriving with ADHD and some help applying everything that you're learning here on the podcast, then head over to our website, navigating adultadhd. Com.