Navigating Adult ADHD — Episode #104: "5 Less Well-Known ADHD Traits We Share"

Host: Xena Jones
Release Date: March 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this insightful episode, Xena Jones explores five lesser-known traits commonly shared by adults with ADHD. Drawing on science-backed research, evidence-based coaching, and her own candid life experiences, Xena shares how these traits can both challenge and empower those with ADHD. The episode is packed with relatable anecdotes and practical reflections to help listeners embrace their unique ADHD wiring.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Boundless Love of Learning (03:13)

• Many ADHDers have a powerful drive to learn—but only about topics that are genuinely interesting to them.
• This love of learning can lead to "hyper-focusing" on specific subjects, turning someone into a "walking encyclopedia" on their chosen topic (e.g., ancient Egypt one week, DIY the next).
• Insight:
  “So a love of learning is one that many ADHDers share, right? We love to learn new things, but only things we want to learn about… things that interest us.” — Xena (03:13)
• The downside is often difficulty applying what’s learned, leading to knowledge accumulation without tangible action.
• Xena illustrates this with a story of overwhelming a membership masterclass with too many tools for procrastination:
  “Because I love it so much, kind of went in and I gave them the fire hydrant… instead of saying ‘here’s one, start with this.’” — Xena (05:27)

2. Justice Sensitivity (06:27)

• ADHDers frequently possess a strong sense of fairness and struggle deeply with perceived injustices—even in small, everyday situations.
• Xena shares humorous but telling stories, such as rationing cat treats to ensure both pets get equal amounts, and insisting on fairness in lunchbox snacks for her partner’s children.
• Memorable Quote:
  “The justice in me was like, that ain’t fair. Like no way, right?” — Xena (08:01)
• This trait can make ADHDers excellent advocates and leaders, but also means they can become consumed by injustice:
  “Because we feel things so deeply… that injustice can really affect us and it can kind of consume us.” — Xena (09:50)

3. Low Patience for People Who Avoid Responsibility (10:42)

• Due to years of being asked to "try harder" or "take responsibility," many adults with ADHD have little patience for people who refuse to own their mistakes.
• This results in holding themselves to high standards, often over-apologizing, and being frustrated when others deflect blame.
• Xena recounts a classic childhood “shincident” (poo-related accident) where responsibility was deflected onto the family cats—humorous, but echoing a deeper pattern.
• Relatable Moment:
  “We have had to take so much responsibility for our own actions… it can be kind of infuriating when other people refuse to do the same.” — Xena (11:17)
• On the positive side, this trait makes many ADHDers self-aware and willing to grow.

4. Chronic Over-Committing & Impulsive “Yes”s (16:14)

• Hyper-enthusiasm and the chase for dopamine can make ADHDers say “yes” to new opportunities before realistically considering energy or time constraints.
• Factors include time blindness, rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, and social excitement.
• Xena candidly discusses a recent incident where she volunteered for an event, realized later she was stretching herself too thin, and experienced the tension between passion and personal limits.
• Useful Strategy:
  “One of the things that I have learned… is, I’ll often say, ‘Oh my God, that sounds amazing. Pencil me in and I’ll come back to you to confirm.’” — Xena (20:53)
• Listening to capacity—assessing mental, emotional, physical “space”—is key to healthy boundaries.

5. Making Unexpected Connections (21:41)

• ADHD brains are often skilled at connecting dots that others don’t see—creativity that appears “obvious” internally, but isn’t to neurotypical peers.
• Xena gives examples, such as quickly solving problems with creative solutions (e.g., finding a water fountain for her partner without backtracking home), or instantly grasping a client’s root issue and solution path during coaching.
• Notable Quote:
  “Our ADHD brains see patterns and connections that other people miss. And I love this for us.” — Xena (21:54)
• This rapid, unconventional thinking is described as both a gift and a factor in heightened sensory awareness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On applying knowledge:
  “Sometimes we can hyper focus on the most random things… become a walking encyclopedia… but then have difficulty applying it.” (04:33)
• On fairness and advocacy:
  “Because we feel things so deeply… that injustice can really affect us and it can kind of consume us, right?” (09:50)
• On self-awareness:
  “You are likely quite self-aware, right. And willing to reflect and grow, right? So I think that that’s a really good thing and that’s for sure me, I’m like, oh, shit, yeah, that was me. My bad.” (15:26)
• On energy management and boundaries:
  “Do we have the capacity for this? Like being aware of… how much do I have in the tank today? … If I’ve got 30% and I give 30%, then I gave 100.” (18:20)
• On seeing what others don’t:
  “We can often excel at the creative problem solving and making those connections that other people can’t.” (23:12)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------| | Love of Learning (Trait #1) | 03:13–05:56 | | Justice Sensitivity (Trait #2) | 06:27–10:38 | | Low Patience for Avoiding Responsibility (#3) | 10:42–15:25 | | Over-Committing, Impulsive “Yes” (#4) | 16:14–21:18 | | Making Unexpected Connections (#5) | 21:41–25:35 |

Episode Wrap-Up

• Xena concludes that while these traits present unique strengths, they can also be sources of real challenge, especially in a world not built for ADHD brains.
• “You are a unique and awesome human… all of these traits are what make you you.” — Xena (25:54)
• She encourages listeners to reflect on which traits resonate most and share their stories in the podcast’s Facebook group or via Instagram DMs.

Resources & Community

• Join the Free Facebook Group: navigatingadultadhd.com
• Instagram: Connect with Xena for questions and support
• Upcoming webinars (March 17-23, 2025): Hosted in partnership with ADHD New Zealand — topics include understanding your ADHD and working with dopamine for motivation

Tone: Warm, relatable, candid, and empowering—Xena shares her own mishaps, insights, and practical strategies with real honesty and humor, making the episode accessible for anyone on the ADHD journey.