Navigating Adult ADHD with Xena Jones

Episode #110: 10 ADHD Experiences You Thought Were 'Just You'
Date: April 21, 2025

Brief Overview

In this candid, energy-packed episode, host Xena Jones unpacks ten everyday ADHD realities that often leave adults feeling isolated, misunderstood, or just plain “weird.” With humor, personal stories, and hard-won wisdom, Xena highlights the universality of these experiences in the ADHD community, grounding each point in relatable anecdotes and scientific context. The episode is designed to validate, educate, and empower listeners—helping them recognize that they’re not alone and encouraging them to work with their ADHD brains, not against them.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Feeling Misunderstood in Conversations

• Description:
  • Interrupting others, blurting things out, or forgetting what you were saying.
  • Leads to awkwardness and shame, stemming from a fear of being “too much” or “not enough.”
• Personal Story:
  • Xena describes a Toastmasters meeting where she abruptly interrupted a group discussion about classic rock bands, only to be met with blank stares.
  • Quote:

    “I just remember everyone just stopped the conversation and looked at me like, what the fuck, right?” (09:01)

• Emotional Impact:
  • Lingering shame and replaying the “shouldn’t have done that” narrative.

2. Sleep Dysregulation

• Description:
  • Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling unrefreshed.
  • Hyperactive brains tend to spiral at night, fixating on how little time is left to rest.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Xena recounts lying awake as a teen, calculating hours left on her digital clock.
  • She humorously describes her past devotion to energy drinks for daytime survival.
  • Quote:

    “At one point I was drinking four of those a day... I sniff it now and I’m like, yum. Like, my mouth waters when I sniff it.” (15:37)

• Science Context:
  • Delayed circadian rhythm is common in ADHD.

3. Hyperfixations That Feel Embarrassing

• Description:
  • Intense, obsessive interests—sometimes fleeting, sometimes shame-inducing.
• Xena’s Highlights:
  • Obsession with pickles:

    “I hyper fixated on pickles for months. I would put them in breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks...” (18:19)

  • Fascination with squirrels when traveling, and satisfaction from pimple-popping videos (getting dopamine from skin-picking).
  • Quick research rabbit holes—such as deep-diving into conspiracy theories about hidden pyramids in Egypt.
• Relatable Reflection:
  • The sudden, often embarrassing loss of interest after an all-consuming fixation.

4. Sensory Sensitivities

• Description:
  • Overreactions to tags in clothing, specific smells, background noises, etc.
  • Can cause physical pain or emotional overwhelm; not just “annoying.”
• Personal Story:
  • New exercise shorts with a bothersome tag disrupted an entire walk:

    “I was at the point of, like, would I even take these pants off and just walk in my undies? ... We cut the walk short and we went home and I snipped them out.” (23:33)

5. Difficulty Switching Gears (Task Inertia)

• Description:
  • Trouble starting or stopping tasks, especially when in hyperfocus.
• Example:
  • Xena recounts resisting a scheduled call because she was deep into tinkering with a new project management system:

    “When the timer went off, I was like, fuck that. All I wanted to do was keep playing with this new system...” (28:21)

6. Time Dysmorphia (Not Just Time Blindness)

• Description:
  • Difficulty estimating how long things will take; warped sense of time commitment.
• Example:
  • Chronic underestimation of podcast production time, despite over 100 episodes:

    “Every single week I think it’s gonna take an hour. Does it take an hour all up? No.” (31:04)

  • Being continually surprised at running late, believing “I have time” when she doesn’t.

7. Intrusive Negative Self-Talk

• Description:
  • Unrelenting inner critic: “You’re failing. You can’t be trusted. You suck.”
  • “Confident on the outside but crumbling on the inside” dichotomy.
• Insight:
  • Ties directly to lowered self-esteem.

8. Low Tolerance for Frustration and Boredom

• Description:
  • Small delays spark outsized emotional reactions.
• Personal Example:
  • Partner driving slowly on the highway leads to simmering rage:

    “But just something like so innocent and simple like that… it was starting to kind of like brew rage in me. Brew rage. That’s an interesting sentence.” (37:46)

• Reflection:
  • Recognizes her tendency to “react bigly” (and invents a new word).

9. Emotional Whiplash

• Description:
  • Rapid mood swings—elated one minute, devastated the next.
• Personal Story:
  • Xena likens it to real whiplash, referencing a car accident from her teen years as metaphor for abrupt, jarring emotional shifts:

    “Mood swings. Not just daily necessarily, but sometimes hourly, right? Feeling like ecstatic about something and then crushed by a tiny comment like an hour later.” (41:58)

10. Difficulty Relaxing Even When Exhausted

• Description:
  • Restlessness prevails even during planned downtime or vacation.
• Examples:
  • Burnout experience made it near-impossible to unplug, even on holiday.
  • “So many people say... they go on a holiday, and all of their family or whoever they’re with is relaxing and having a great time, and they just get more and more wound up.” (45:06)

Why These Insights Matter (46:48)

• Recognition of these common ADHD experiences is empowering and normalizing.
• Understanding your “ADHD reality” enables you to work with (not against) your brain.
• Xena highlights the value of community—joining groups like the Navigating Adult ADHD Membership to get support and strategies tailored to the ADHD experience.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I feel like it should be fucking Friday already.” (00:18)
• “I was so close to crying yesterday. Like, it was just like the straw that broke...Whatever that saying is.” (02:11)
• “We’re not just talking about hobbies, okay. We are talking about intense, overwhelming, maybe even obsessive interests that you might hide or feel weird about.” (18:10)
• “We can have real difficulty stopping a task, especially once we’re in that hyperfocus mode.” (28:50)
• “Bigly should be a word. Just saying.” (39:47)
• “Difficulty with relaxing, difficulty with resting—like, even being on holiday.” (45:26)
• “If you recognized yourself in a bunch of these... Hi, welcome. You are not alone, right? This is the reality of having an ADHD brain.” (46:48)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Personal intro, coffee disaster, setting the episode's tone: 00:03–06:15
• #1: Feeling misunderstood in conversations: 06:20–11:00
• #2: Sleep dysregulation: 11:00–15:50
• #3: Hyperfixations: 15:50–20:42
• #4: Sensory sensitivities: 20:42–23:57
• #5: Difficulty switching gears/task inertia: 23:57–28:53
• #6: Time dysmorphia: 28:53–32:40
• #7: Intrusive negative self-talk: 32:40–34:20
• #8: Low tolerance for frustration/boredom: 34:20–40:05
• #9: Emotional whiplash: 40:05–42:20
• #10: Difficulty relaxing when exhausted: 42:20–46:40
• Wrap-up/message of empowerment: 46:48–End

Conclusion

Xena creates a safe, unfiltered space for adults with ADHD to see themselves not as outliers, but as members of a vibrant, quirky, and resilient community. With frank talk, concrete examples, and encouragement to seek support, this episode is a balm for anyone who's ever thought, “Is it just me?”
You’re not alone, and navigating your ADHD reality is possible—with knowledge, compassion, and a community that gets it.

For support, resources, and membership info, visit: navigatingadultadhd.com