Navigating Adult ADHD – Episode #130: ADHD & Money – Why We Struggle

Host: Xena Jones
Date: September 8, 2025

Overview

This episode of "Navigating Adult ADHD" explores why adults with ADHD often struggle with money. Host Xena Jones candidly blends scientific research, personal anecdotes, and emotional insights to demystify the financial challenges linked to ADHD. The focus is on understanding the ADHD brain and uncovering the neurological, psychological, and emotional reasons behind common money-related difficulties.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scope of ADHD Money Challenges

• ADHDers are not alone: Xena opens by sharing compelling statistics: 76% of adults with ADHD report money-related anxiety (00:48). This is much higher than the general population.
• Common struggles (03:31):
  • Avoiding opening bills
  • Impulse buying
  • Procrastinating on taxes
  • Running up credit card debt, using “buy now, pay later” services
  • Lack of savings and living paycheck to paycheck
• Personal story: Xena shares her own "colorful history with money", from not looking at her bank accounts to living with constant guilt and shame related to spending and debt (04:39).

“If you have ever felt guilty, ashamed or overwhelmed about money, you are not alone, my friend. In fact, you're in very good company today.” – Xena Jones [00:33]

2. Why ADHD Makes Money Management Difficult

A. Impulsivity & the Brain (06:45)

• Impulsivity as a hallmark of ADHD: Leads to unplanned purchases and lack of pause before spending.
• Brain analogy: The thalamus should act as a "bouncer in a nightclub" filtering decisions. With ADHD, Xena explains, “our bouncer...has fallen asleep,” so impulses get in unchecked (07:41).

“Impulsivity is huge when it comes to ADHD and money because this impacts our ability to stop and think about the consequences of our actions…” – Xena Jones [06:45]

B. Time Blindness (09:08)

• Definition: A "nearsightedness to time," per Dr. Russell Barkley.
• Impact: Promotes procrastination, late fees, overlooked bills, spending money before it’s available.
• Difficulty visualizing future consequences: “It’s really hard for us to consider how today’s spending choices will impact us later…” (10:01).

C. Forgetfulness / Poor Working Memory (11:00)

• Missed bills and expenses: Forgetting recent spending, failing to pay bills, missing annual renewals (e.g., car registration).
• ADHD Tax: Fines, fees, or unnecessary charges caused by forgetting or delaying actions.

“If you've ever heard the term ADHD tax, right? The tax is real, my friend.” – Xena Jones [12:41]

D. Out of Sight, Out of Mind (14:44)

• Digital money as ‘Monopoly money’: Without visual reminders, it’s easy to overspend when the consequences aren’t tangible.

E. All-or-Nothing Thinking & Executive Dysfunction (16:01)

• Rigid budget adherence or total abandonment: Failing to plan or save due to challenges with prioritizing, tracking, and organizing finances.

F. Dopamine Seeking (17:08)

• The dopamine hit of spending: Both buying and receiving new items provide brief pleasure, fueling impulsive or compulsive spending.

“We spend money to feel good, to get that dopamine hit...not thinking about the consequences or what this might mean in the longer term…” – Xena Jones [17:08]

G. “Money Blindness” (18:52)

• Xena introduces the term as a catch-all for the financial challenges uniquely faced by ADHDers, emphasizing its prevalence and the shame/taboo around discussing it.

H. The Stats on Income & Savings (19:11)

• ADHDers earn 25% less and have 50–80% less saved than non-ADHDers.
• Compulsive buying rates are double amongst people with ADHD.

“For people with ADHD, compulsive buying rates are double what they are for somebody without ADHD.” – Xena Jones [19:22]

3. The Emotional Layer of Money & ADHD

A. Judgment (20:01)

• External and internal judgments amplify shame:
  • Hearing “Did you really need that?” “You shouldn’t have so much debt.”

B. Guilt & Shame (21:12)

• Self-statements: “I'm bad with money. I always spend too much. I can’t save.”
• Secrecy: Shame leads to hiding debt, purchases, or even leaving tags on clothes.

C. Numbing and Emotional Regulation (21:40)

• Spending to numb emotions or to celebrate achievements.
• Emotional regulation skills are key: “How you feel determines what you do...Learning emotional regulation...has saved me so much fucking money...” (22:00).
• Core emotion-spending links:
  • “I need it” → Urgency → Impulse buy
  • “I’m missing out” → Scarcity → Buy
  • “I deserve it” → Entitlement → Buy
  • “I don’t have time to make more” → Victimhood → Stay stuck

“Emotions drive actions. How you feel determines what you do...When you feel afraid, you hide, you avoid.” – Xena Jones [21:40]

D. Fear of Having Money (23:26)

• Some ADHDers are uncomfortable letting money “just sit” in their account and feel compelled to immediately spend or redistribute it.

“Are you afraid of having money in your account...because you keep spending it?” – Xena’s coach, as quoted by Xena [23:32]

4. Compassion, Reframing & Next Steps

• Reframing shame: Money/debt aren’t inherently "good" or "bad" – they’re tools.
• Growth possible: Having ADHD means extra challenges, but the past does not dictate financial futures.

“None of that makes you careless. None of that makes you a bad person, okay? And here's the good news. Your past does not decide or determine your future.” – Xena Jones [25:43]

• Practical tools to come: Xena teases the next episode, which will cover practical, ADHD-friendly financial strategies.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On impulsivity and the sleeping bouncer:
  “Our bouncer, right, in our ADHD brain has fallen asleep. So everybody just comes and goes as they pleases...” [07:41]
• ADHD tax stories:
  “Failure to cancel subscriptions and then getting charged...just too many steps involved in canceling.” [13:55]
• Shame and hiding:
  “Shame thrives in the dark...we hide the debt that we have, we hide the purchases that we have, we hide the clothes with the tags on...” [21:21]
• Compassion and hope:
  “Money itself isn't good or bad, right? Debt isn't good or bad, right? They're both just tools.” [24:23] “Your past does not determine your future. You can learn new ways to work with your ADHD brain...” [25:53]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:33 – Introduction; money anxiety stats and validation
• 03:31 – Common ADHD money challenges discussed
• 06:45 – The role of impulsivity
• 09:08 – Time blindness explained
• 11:00 – Memory issues and ADHD tax
• 14:44 – Out of sight, out of mind; "monopoly money" syndrome
• 16:01 – All-or-nothing and executive dysfunction
• 17:08 – Dopamine seeking and compulsive spending
• 18:52 – "Money blindness" coined
• 19:11 – Income and savings data/statistics
• 20:01 – The emotional side: judgment, guilt, shame
• 21:40 – The role of emotions in spending and emotional regulation
• 23:26 – Fear of having money
• 24:23–25:53 – Compassion, hope, and future orientation

Summary Tone and Takeaways

With warmth, candor, and humor, Xena normalizes money struggles for ADHDers, emphasizing that these challenges are rooted in brain-based differences, not personal failings. The episode builds empathy and offers hope, ending by promising practical solutions in the next installment.

Next Episode Preview:
Part 2 will cover ADHD-friendly money tools, practical hacks, and strategies for building empowerment and confidence in managing finances.