Navigating Adult ADHD with Xena Jones

Episode #137: 5 Things to Understand About ADHD & Perimenopause

Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Xena Jones

Overview

In this episode, Xena Jones explores the complex relationship between ADHD and perimenopause, focusing on how hormonal changes impact women with ADHD. Drawing from scientific research, coaching insights, and her own personal experiences, Xena discusses the challenges, emotions, and practical strategies for navigating this turbulent stage of life. The aim is to validate listeners’ experiences, educate about the interplay of hormones and neurochemistry, and offer actionable tools—delivered in her trademark candid and supportive style.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. Perimenopause and ADHD: Life Feels Like "Resistance Level 10"

(00:03 – 06:35)

• Personal Anecdote: Xena opens with a metaphor about mistakenly setting her gym bike to a much higher resistance than others, likening it to how perimenopause can feel for women with ADHD:

  “My legs are on fire, I can barely breathe, and I’m literally questioning my life choices... That, my friends, is what perimenopause can feel like when you have ADHD. Like you are pedaling through life twice as hard just trying to keep up, your old coping tools no longer work, your energy tanks way faster.” (01:32)

• Early Onset:

  “I used to think menopause was something that happened to women in their 50s. What nobody told me is that perimenopause is the roughly 8 to 10 years that happens before menopause... Perimenopause can and often does start as early as your mid-30s.” (05:45)

• Personal Trigger:

  “I was 35 when things started to feel harder, when I couldn’t function like I used to be able to. And that right there is a sign.” (06:18)

2. Recognition of Symptoms and Stories from the Community

(06:36 – 12:58)

• Common Experiences:

  • Increased need for compensating/masking
  • Emotional volatility (“crying or having outbursts”)
  • Memory loss, distractibility, feeling “all over the place”
  • Fear of dementia due to brain fog

• Memorable Anecdote:

  “All of a sudden it hits me and I go, ‘Where the fuck am I going? Why am I here?’ Having no idea where I was going and why I was in town.” (08:22)

• Unusual Symptoms:

  “I woke up in the night thinking that I had spiders crawling all over me... I whipped off this giant T-shirt... That is a symptom of perimenopause. Wild.” (09:49)

3. The Science: Hormones & Neurotransmitters

(12:59 – 14:50)

• Estrogen, Progesterone, and ADHD:

  • Hormonal fluctuations negatively impact dopamine and serotonin levels.
  • Estrogen helps produce dopamine—when estrogen drops, so does dopamine.
  • ADHD brains already have lower dopamine, making symptoms worse during perimenopause.

• Analogy:

  “It’s like your brain already has intermittent Wi-Fi... and now perimenopause comes along and it just starts unplugging the router at random.” (14:18)

4. The Five Core Things to Understand About ADHD & Perimenopause

(14:51 – 40:09)

1. You’re Not Failing at Life—It’s a Biological Storm

(15:10 – 19:25)

• Biological explanation for worsening symptoms.
• 60%+ of women with ADHD report their worst symptoms between 40-59, overlapping with perimenopause.
• Xena validates listeners:

  “You’re not lazy, you’re not losing control, your hormones are messing with your neurotransmitters, messing with the dopamine and the serotonin, the things that we need to help power our ADHD brains that we’ve already got a little bit less of.” (18:10)

2. Women with ADHD: More Prone to Mood Changes

(19:26 – 24:32)

• Emotional intensity: emotional dysregulation, bouts of crying, rage, or irritability.
• Feelings of increased anxiety and depression during perimenopause.

  “You’re at one of those wave pools and you’re on a paddle board...but somebody else has got the wave machine controls...that is often what it can feel like. You’re trying to ride these giant emotional waves. And when you think you’ve got it together...bam, a fucking tsunami comes at you.” (22:18)

• Suicidal thoughts can increase—listeners are reminded they’re not alone.

3. PMDD Affects 50-70% of Women with ADHD

(24:33 – 33:12)

• Explanation of PMDD: “PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder”—a severe form of PMS, intensifying physical and emotional symptoms.

  “It’s kind of like you’ve got PMS and you just turned it up to a thousand.” (25:03)

• Symptoms:

  • Severe irritability, anxiety, depression, mood swings, tearfulness, anger, suicidal thoughts
  • Cognitive: lots of overwhelm, difficulty concentrating
  • Physical: fatigue, pain, bloating, appetite/sleep changes

• Diagnosis: Requires tracking symptoms and ruling out other conditions. Xena encourages:

  “I want to encourage you to track your symptoms...and then with that information, go see your healthcare provider.” (32:30)

4. Your ADHD Medication May Feel Less Effective—You’re Not Imagining It

(33:13 – 37:37)

• Medication efficacy correlates with hormone fluctuations.

• Listener quote:

  “I feel like my fucking medication isn’t even working anymore.” (33:20)

• Practical tracking tips:

  • “Stick a calendar on your toilet wall...I have one on our en suite bathroom wall...when I’m sitting down to pee...I will literally make notes about that day.” (34:15)
  • Tracking helps identify symptom patterns and provides valuable data for medical professionals.

• Dosage or medication changes may be needed during certain cycle parts—always under medical supervision.

• Metaphor:

  “It’s like you order your usual flat white coffee at a cafe...and you realize, all I taste is milk. Like, it’s half strength...you’re not getting that smooth, focused, caffeine kick that you rely on.” (37:12)

5. There’s No One Size Fits All Way—But There Are Tools and Support

(37:38 – 40:09)

• Every person’s biology and ADHD profile is unique—different solutions work for different people.

• Toolbox May Include: HRT patches/creams, SSRIs, supplements, therapy, coaching, support groups.

• Xena Recommends:

  “Approach it like a scientist, gathering as much data as you can, and just test out what best supports you.” (39:54)

• Creatine Recommendation:

  “Creatine is something that can help with brain energy, memory, fatigue, and it’s very useful for women from, like, I think Dr. Stacy Sims talks about from age roughly 30 onwards.” (40:05)

• Emphasizes simple tracking (calendar/pen on the wall), focusing on one self-care area at a time (e.g., sleep, hydration, movement).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your brain is just navigating two major neurochemical storms at once. There’s ADHD and hello, there’s hormonal changes. And understanding what’s happening inside your body gives you your power back. You can’t change the waves, but you can learn to surf them differently.” (41:19)
• “You are not broken, you’re not crazy, you’re not lazy, and you’re not screwed, okay?” (41:01)
• “Stay curious. Approach it like a scientist, gathering as much data as you can...” (39:52)

Resource & Action List

• Track Symptoms: Utilize a calendar/notebook in a private space, jot down symptoms, medication timing, mood, etc.
• Consult Professionals: Take symptom logs to healthcare providers for better treatment adjustments.
• Consider Supplements: Research supports creatine (from age 30+), magnesium glycinate, and other potential adjuncts.
• Join Support Groups or Seek Coaching: Community and information-sharing are powerful.
• Stay Informed: Xena will update listeners as new research on PMDD, ADHD, and hormone overlap emerges.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:03 – 06:35: Metaphor and introduction to perimenopause/ADHD challenges
• 08:22: Forgetting destinations and “Where the fuck am I going?” story
• 09:49: Spider hallucination and weird perimenopause symptoms
• 14:18: Analogy of perimenopause as “unplugging the Wi-Fi router at random”
• 15:10 – 19:25: Reassurance—“You’re not failing at life”
• 22:18: Emotional waves and the “paddle board on a wave pool” metaphor
• 25:03: Explaining PMDD as “PMS turned up to a thousand”
• 32:30: Encouragement to track symptoms and seek medical help
• 33:20: Listener says “my fucking medication isn’t even working anymore”
• 34:15: Practical tracking tip (calendar on the toilet wall)
• 37:12: Medication/coffee metaphor
• 39:54: Scientist mindset for self-tracking
• 40:05: Creatine as a supplement for women 30+
• 41:01-41:19: “You are not broken” and “learn to surf differently” closing messages

Tone and Delivery

Throughout, Xena’s tone is candid, supportive, and often laced with humor and frank language, designed to validate listeners’ real-life experiences and encourage practical action.

Bottom Line:
This episode provides a science-backed, compassionate, and practical exploration of perimenopause for adults with ADHD, centered on empowering knowledge, self-tracking, and building a varied self-care toolbox. For anyone experiencing “life at resistance level 10,” in Xena’s words: you are not alone, you are not failing, and there are ways to surf these waves.