Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:04]
A
You are listening to the Navigating Adult ADHD podcast with your ADHD coach and expert, Xena. Hello, hello, hello, my friend. Welcome back to Navigating Adult adhd. So I got to tell you a little story. Yesterday morning, I was at the gym, okay? There were six of us women and we are on the bike, bikes, doing 15 second sprints. So you sprint for 15 seconds and then you rest for 15 seconds, okay? And you do that over a period of six minutes. And I'm doing this and I'm looking around at everybody else who seems to be doing okay. They seem fine. Meanwhile, my legs are on fire, I can barely breathe, and I'm literally questioning my life choices about, you know, know, joining this gym and working out here. But it turns out that my resistance level on the bike was set to level 10 and everybody else was on a four or a five. And that, my friends, is what perimenopause can feel like when you have adhd. Like you are pedaling through life twice as hard just trying to keep up, your old coping tools no longer work, your energy tanks way faster. And it's a lot like my friend Jules likes to say, the cheese is just sliding off the cracker. Mm. Can you relate? So that's what we're talking about today. We are talking about ADHD and perimenopause. Now, before we dive in, I wanted to ask you a favour. Right now, the New Zealand Podcast Awards are open. And last year, my partner Emmett and the boys, they got this trophy made up for me and they gave it to me on Christmas Day. And I opened this box and burst out crying because I would have had no idea that they would be so thoughtful to think of actually giving me something to help me keep it in sight and in mind. Because already I'd forgotten that we'd won an award, right? And they got me this beautiful trophy made up for Christma, to remind me that last year we actually won bronze for the best health and wellbeing podcast in the 2024 New Zealand podcast Awards. So if Navigating Adult ADHD has ever helped you to feel seen, to feel understood, to feel less alone or more equipped to work with your brain, it would mean the absolute world to me if you would take a minute just to nominate this podcast. And it's super easy, all you do is visit New Zealand. Sorry, NZ, gotta abbreviate that. Nzpodcastawards.com nominate and then you enter in the podcast name, which is Navigating Adult adhd, a link to wherever you're listening to it, and then a few words about why you love this show. Okay, Anything that you say really, really helps. Now, I do not love asking for votes. I really don't. And I didn't ask last year. But I have come to understand that by asking for your help, it genuinely helps more people with ADHD to find this show, to find this podcast, and to join in our mission of making ADHD education accessible, practical, empowering, and really changing the narrative around what it means to have and live with adhd. So I'm going to pop a link in the show notes wherever you're listening, if you could take a minute to do that for voting closes 14th of November 2025. And finally, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so, so much. All right, back to our scheduled programming, my friend. So I used to think that menopause was something that happened to women in their 50s. What nobody told me is that perimenopause is the roughly 8 to 10 years that happens before menopause. And that's when all of the changes start happening and all of the difficulties and differences become visible in that stage of life. Perimenopause can and often does start as early as your mid-30s. So on a personal note, I was 35 when things started to feel harder, when I couldn't function like I used to be able to. And that right there is a sign. My focus just disappeared. My emotions went off the rails. My memory was shocking. And all of that is actually what led me to discover I have adhd. So here are a few things that I regularly hear from fellow ADHDers going through perimenopause. They tell me that they're compensating more, that they feel like they have to mask more. They become more prone to crying or having outbursts. They feel like they just keep dropping the ball and their memory is like a sieve. Some of them talk about wondering if they've got dementia. Just a couple of days ago, I was actually driving to the gym and. Or I thought I was driving to the gym, but I wasn't. And I get to this intersection, this traffic lights, and I'm in the wrong lane. And all of a sudden it hits me and I go, where the fuck am I going? Why am I here having no idea where I was going and why I was in town? Registering I'm not going to the gym, but I'm turning off right? As if I'm going to the gym, when actually I needed to go straight ahead because I was actually going to a different Meeting, right? Those sorts of things. Being in the car and having no idea where you're going. All of a sudden, I had this really weird symptom, which I later learned was a symptom of perimenopause, where I woke up in the night thinking that I had spiders crawling all over me. I got out of bed so fucking fast, I ripped off my nightgown that I was wearing, whatever I was wearing, right? I whipped off this giant T shirt and just started, like, rubbing my hands all over me, trying to flick spiders off me. Like, I felt like I had something and there was nothing. There was nothing on me. It was wild. I've had that a few times where I felt like there's been things crawling on my skin, but there's not. And apparently. Yep, looked it up. I've heard other experts talk about it. That is a symptom of perimenopause. Wild. So perimenopause equals fluctuating estrogen and progesterone. Now, these are two hormones that both affect our neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin. So estrogen helps to make dopamine. So when our estrogen drops, what happens? Dopamine also drops. So for those of us with adhd, we're already running on a little bit less dopamine to begin with, okay? And now it becomes even more erratic, more unstable, even less of it. And if I was to sum it up in one sentence, what this stage of life often presents, like what I hear from others and what I was saying on repeat, it would be this. I just feel like I'm all over the place all the time. Everything. I'm just all over the place. It's like your brain already has intermittent WI fi, you know, when you've got a dodgy WI fi connection. And now perimenopause comes along and it just starts unplugging the router at random. Completely random. So, my friend, let's get into it. Let's get into the five things that I want to share with you today. Number one, you are not failing at life. There is a biological storm happening in your body. Now, while there are nowhere near enough studies done on this yet, and they are happening more and more, there are some studies and the studies that we can reference. Right. Multiple studies do report that perimenopause correlates with increased ADHD symptoms. So if you feel like somebody has poured gasoline on your ADHD symptoms, you would be correct. So particularly things like inattention, having difficulty completing things, paying Attention to what you need to focus on. Disorganization, poor memory or brain fog, okay? Emotional dysregulation and a just general sense of overwhelm. Those are things that have been highlighted in these studies. Over 60% of women with ADHD report that their symptoms are most disruptive during the ages of 40 to 59, coinciding again with perimenopause and menopause. Now, as I said, I was 35 when I started to notice these changes. I'm now 39. Buckle up. I'm thinking. So if you feel like you are compensating more, masking more, or just dropping the ball, my friend, you are not alone. You are likely in perimenopause or experiencing these hormonal fluctuations and changes. So one of the common things that happens in this time is our cognitive function, like our brain, our brain's ability to do the shit that we need it to do, okay, is more all over the place. Like I said just before, like driving somewhere and then forgetting completely where you're going and ending up in the wrong place, right? Walking into the supermarket and going, what the fuck am I in here for? Like, what do we need again? And then buying all the things you didn't need, getting home and not having any milk. I even noticed the other day again, I was at the gym and I was being given these instructions about how many reps we had to do and how many times. And it was something like 15 deadlifts and then 15 bench press and then you go 12 of each and then 10 of each and then 8 of each and then back to 15. Okay, I don't know about you, but I've already forgotten what. You've probably forgotten what I just said, right? But it was, it was the sequence that just didn't make sense in my brain. And I had to notice the weights and the weights were increasing throughout this and it was just like my brain couldn't hold all of that. It was like my cognitive function, my brain's ability just to remember these tiny little short term instructions was just gone. I was just like, you know what, I'm just going to copy what everyone else is doing. I'm just going to follow what they're doing again, like that. Your brain just doesn't feel like it can function and hold things like that when you need it to. Okay? So, my friend, you're not lazy, you're not losing control. Your hormones are messing with your neurotransmitters, messing with the dopamine and the serotonin, the Things that we need to help power our ADHD brains that we've already got a little bit less of. Okay, so, number one, you're not failing at life. There is actually a biological storm happening inside of your body. Number two, women with ADHD are more likely to experience mood changes. So I hear from women all of the time who say, I just burst in tears in front of my boss or I'm teary all of the time, and I just wish I could turn it off, but I can't. So with these fluctuating hormone levels, we become more prone to things like crying or having outbursts of anger and rage. And studies show that anxiety and depression rises during this stage of our life. So we are much more likely to experience anxiety and depression throughout this perimenopause stage. Okay. So one of the things that estrogen, the hormone that, you know, starts, you know, fluctuating all over the place. One of the things it does is it helps to boost our serotonin. And serotonin is the feel good chemical, and it plays a huge role in sleep and in mood. Okay. So if you have difficulty sleeping. Mm. And if your mood is all over the show again. Right. Serotonin is one of the neurotransmitters ADHD is shown to have less of. And some experts estimate we have roughly 25% less of it, although I'm not sure about the research behind that. But either way, we have less of it already as somebody with adhd. But then when our hormones are changing, we get even less of it, which means, you know, we can be more erratic, we can be more irritable, more emotionally sensitive, more sort of all over the place in terms of how we feel. We can experience increased anxiety, whether it's like social anxiety or. Or just general anxiety about day to day life. And we're more likely to experience depression. Okay. So suicidal thoughts is also something that is more likely to increase during this time. Okay. If you were to imagine that you're trying to. You're at one of those wave pools and you're on a paddle board, okay. And you're trying to ride these waves on a paddleboard, which already is difficult enough, but somebody else has got the wave machine controls and at random, crank up the size of those waves, that is often what it can feel like. You're trying to ride these giant emotional waves. And when you think you've got it together and you've got it sorted, bam, a fucking tsunami comes at you. Okay, Extra swearing today because I think it's necessary as we Know, people with adhd, we are already more vulnerable when it comes to emotional dysregulation. That is something that we often struggle with, managing and responding to our emotions and help help healthy ways. So when we experience these changes in our hormones at random, this combination can hit us pretty hard. Okay, so number two, women with ADHD are more likely to experience mood changes. Number three, 50 to 70% of women who have ADHD or also have PMDD, which during perimenopause, is only going to add to the chaos. So PMDD stands for premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. And this is a severe form of PMS that can cause a range of really intense physical and emotional symptoms in the days or weeks of leading up to a period. It's kind of like you've got PMS and you just turned it up to a thousand. Have you ever watched one of those videos where they put a period simulator on a man and they put it on him and they turn the dial up gradually and he's like, oh, yeah, this is all right, this is all right. And then you put it on to like level 10 and he's practically jumping out of his seat trying to rip the simulator off himself. Imagine that dialed up even more. So things that happen if you experience PMDD emotionally severe irritability, anxiety, depression, mood swings, tearfulness, anger, and as I said, even suicidal thoughts. That is common if you experience pmdd. So brain wise, cognitively, it'll be a lot of difficulty in concentrating. And this con, this almost constant feeling of being overwhelmed, right. During these sort of days or weeks leading up to your period, physically, a lot of fatigue. It can be muscle and joint pain, headaches, bloating, you can have breast tenderness, changes even to your appetite and your sleep patterns. So again, As I said, 50 to 70% of women who have ADHD also have PMDD, which is going to be more erratic and less predictable when we go through perimenopause. And our fluctuating levels of estrogen and progesterone are just doing that, fluctuating whenever the hell they want to. Now, I also want to speak to this like it's not being dramatic. This is a medical condition, right? PMDD can literally be debilitating. And I want to mention here, it's not normal to have pmdd, but it is more normal if you have adhd. The likelihood of you having this is high. Okay, so there is growing research happening around the overlap of PMDD and adhd, especially as it relates to our sensitivity in those hormonal changes. The estrogen and progesterone levels. There's a lot of research happening here at the moment, which is so good to see. I will keep you updated as new studies, new information comes out. Okay? Now, there is no specific test for pmdd. Diagnosis is actually based on a symptom diary and ruling out other conditions. So if this is something that you may be experiencing, I want to encourage you to track your symptoms and according to medical advice, track your menstrual cycles for at least two cycles, including when they start, when they stop, right? The severity, all of the symptoms that you experience. I've gone through a whole bunch of them already here, right? Whether it be irritability, anxiety, mood swings, tearfulness, anger, difficulty with concentration, or overwhelm in any of those sort of physical changes that you experience or physical symptoms, okay? And then with that information, go see your healthcare provider, go see your doctor, go seek medical advice and have a discussion about this, okay? You don't have to go through this one alone, my friend. Number four, medication may feel less effective in perimenopause. And no, you are not imagining it. I literally just got a message yesterday from a fellow ADHDer, a client and friend of mine, who said, I feel like my fucking medication isn't even working anymore. I was like, yes, my friend, you are not alone. When our estrogen levels drop, right? As I said before, estrogen supports the production of dopamine. So when estrogen dips, our stimulant medication may feel even less effective. Oh, my God. Now, some ADHDers might notice that their meds work great mid cycle, but they feel more flat or anxious pre period. That's definitely me. It's about that sort of week, maybe five days before my period shows up, and then the first couple of days of my period, that is when I do feel more flat. I've got less energy. I feel more anxious during that time. So I want to encourage you to track, track, track, track your symptoms, okay? And I know shit's gonna be probably fluctuating and not make any fucking sense. It's okay. Track it, okay? Because you may see some patterns. Either way, you're gonna gather some evidence about what's working, what's not working to help you better navigate this. Now, pro tip. Stick a calendar on your toilet wall. Mm. So I in our ensuite bathroom, it is the toilet I predominantly use, especially when you've got young boys. The other two just feel so unpredictable and sometimes unsafe to use. Ew. Anyway, I get sidetracked. I have one on our En suite bathroom wall. I've got a calendar there and I have a pen attached to it. And when I'm sitting down to pee or whatever else I'm doing, right, I will literally make notes about that day, about that week. I will make, not over it. So I was recently testing out HRT patches, hormone replacement therapy. So I would put on the days when I would take the patch, when I would. Sorry. When I would put it on, when I would take the pills that went alongside that. I would make a note of when my period arrived, I would make a note of when I felt more or less anxious, when my mood was, you know, better or worse, when I was low energy. All of this, those are the things that I have on there, right? So this entire year, I have been tracking and writing all sorts of symptoms. Now, for the last couple of weeks, there's nothing on there because I felt okay. Nothing. So I don't write anything down if I don't notice anything. But if I notice anything, I will make note of it. And a great time to do it is when you're sitting on the toilet, all right? I find that this works so freaking well. So again, track your symptoms. Because here's the thing. Some women find that adjusting medication, either timing or dosage, or completely changing medication to something else just during a week or two weeks of your cycle can be incredibly helpful. Now, of course, you want to do that under medical supervision, right, with your. Your doctor, your psychiatrist, whoever is, you know, prescribing you and supporting you with your adhd. But the what. The thing you want to do here is gather as much data as you can about what you notice throughout the month. Like, you know, you might put a note on, the mids did nothing today. And what did you notice when they did nothing? What. What were the symptoms that told you that? Okay, the more information you get, the more data you get, the more helpful it's going to be when you go and speak to your medical professional, okay? And again, like, there are other ways of approaching this stage and other things that we can do to help, other tools that we can, you know, utilize or meds we can take, what, whatever to help us. But again, that data is so crucial. So this stage is kind of like if you were to order your usual flat white coffee at a cafe, you know, and you walk off and you're drinking it and you realize, all I taste is milk. Like, it's half strength, right? It's still something, but it's like you're not getting that smooth, focused, caffeine kick that you rely on. So, yes, number four, meds may feel less effective in perimenopause. And my friend, you are not imagining it. Number five, there is no one size fits all way of navigating this stage of life. But there are loads of tools and there is more and more support becoming available. So please don't try and navigate this on your own. So every single one of us, every single body is different. Our genetics, right? Our lifestyle, our hormone sensitivity, our body's sensitivity and responses to different medications, our allergies, our ADHD profile, all of the things, okay, we're all different. So there is no one simple way of navigating this one simple solution. The more tools that you have, the better equipped you're going to be to navigate this stage and for it to be less rocky of a ride. Okay, so there are things like hrt, hormone replacement therapy, right? You can get the patches, the creams, there's pills, there's antidepressants, there's SSRIs, which is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, helping to increase the amount of serotonin being produced in your brain and body. There are supplements, there's therapy, there's coaching, there's support groups, there are seminars. I keep seeing seminars happening all over the country. And what helps one woman may not work for another. That's okay. But the more we get educated, the more we have this conversation and we talk to different people, the more we learn about what's normal, what other people are experiencing, what's working for them, what you could try. And again, I can't stress enough just how helpful it is to track all of it, or not all of it, but just track it at random. But just track it, right? Track your mood, your anxiety, your energy. Track any supplements you try. Track the ADHD medication or the HRT patches or any other pills that you take when you take them. The more data you get, the more information you have to work with, right? And get the best support in place for you. So I invite you to just start small. Just get a calendar and stick it on the wall. And make sure you got a pen there or a couple of pens if you have a tendency to walk off with one. Stay curious. Approach it like a scientist, gathering as much data as you can, okay? And just test out what best supports you. Now, I do want to mention here, creatine is something that I see be talked about time and time and time and time again. And I've been taking it maybe a year. I'm not sure so creatine is something that can help with brain energy, memory, fatigue, and it's very useful for women from, like, I think Dr. Stacy Sims talks about from age roughly 30 onwards. You want to be taking this as part of your regular, what do I want to say? Supplements routine. It can help a lot with, like, bone density, but again, with brain and with a lot of the changes that women experience hormonally, it is very, very supportive. So that's creatine. Okay, I invite you to have a little look at that. But things like sleep, right? And we know this, right? I don't want to tell you something you fucking know. Like, I know you know this, but I'm just gonna mention it in case you're like, oh, yeah, I might put a little spotlight on that, right? I'm not telling you to go out and do these things. It's like, oh, maybe I'll put a spotlight on my protein intake, or maybe I'll put a spotlight on my sleep, right? Movement, things that we do to reduce our stress, learning, emotional regulation, something I am huge on, right? Taking magnesium glycinate, that's another one. To help hydration. All of these sorts of things are going to play a role. And maybe you just pop a spotlight on one of those for a week, see how you feel. So, my friend, you are not broken, you're not crazy, you're not lazy, and you're not screwed, okay? Your brain is just navigating two major neurochemical storms at once. There's ADHD and hello, there's hormonal changes. And understanding what's happening inside your body gives you your power back. You can't change the waves, but you can learn to surf them differently. All right, my friend. Huge, huge love to you. Take care. I'll speak to you soon. Hey, friend, if you want some more help navigating and thriving with ADHD and some help applying everything that you're learning here on the podcast, then head over to our website, navigating adultadhd.com.