Navigating Adult ADHD Podcast

Episode #143: How to Survive the Holiday Season with ADHD

Host: Xena Jones
Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid and supportive episode, Xena Jones tackles the unique challenges adults with ADHD often face during the holiday season. Drawing from science-backed research and real-life experiences, she explores how ADHD symptoms can be magnified by the extra demands, sensory overload, and emotional intensity of this time of year. Her focus: providing practical tools and mindsets to help listeners not just survive, but actually enjoy the holidays, while emphasizing the importance of self-compassion, boundaries, and intentionality.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Holiday Season & ADHD: Why It’s Extra Hard

• ADHD symptoms can intensify: Increased social obligations, shopping, wrapping up work, sensory overload, and financial pressures all strain executive functioning (00:33).
• Time blindness, last-minute scrambling, and dopamine spending—impulse purchases are common (01:52).
• Emotional extremes are prevalent: shame, guilt, overwhelm, as well as joy and excitement (03:13).

Notable Quote:

“Whatever you are feeling right now, whatever you are feeling throughout the holiday season, please know that your feelings are always valid. What you feel is valid, my friend.”
—Xena Jones (03:27)

The Emotional Landscape: Allow, Don’t React

• Xena emphasizes the importance of “not making decisions from a dysregulated emotional state”—whether it’s excitement, guilt, shame, or overwhelm (04:50–05:52).
• Example: Buying out of excitement only to regret it later, or overspending due to guilt.

Notable Quote:

“Be mindful of what you’re feeling, and if it is these extreme emotions... don’t make decisions from that place.”
—Xena Jones (05:03)

Five ADHD-Friendly Strategies for the Holidays

1. Get Clear on the Outcome You Want (06:28)

• Set an intention: What do you want your holiday season to look and feel like?
• Xena encourages “creating a vision board” for your ideal (but realistic) holiday, focusing on what is possible this year rather than perfection (07:22).
• Example: She creates a plan for her birthday each year so she can shape her experience, applying the same to Christmas.

Notable Quote:

“If we don’t [decide], it is decided for us... But we get to decide this.”
—Xena Jones (07:22)

2. Decide What You Want to Spend—Intentionally (10:18)

• Assess your budget in advance to avoid regretful overspending.
• Consider low-cost, creative alternatives (e.g., handmade gifts, cards, baked treats).
• Advocate for setting new expectations with loved ones if funds are tight.

Notable Quote:

“Instead of just racking things up and looking at it later going ‘holy shit, I spent way too much on Christmas again.’ Okay, decide.”
—Xena Jones (12:20)

3. Listen to and Honor Your Capacity (13:43)

• Be realistic about your mental, emotional, and physical energy.
• Resist people-pleasing: Don’t say yes when you want to say no.
• Notice the cost of overcommitting—ending up “depleted” is a common pattern (14:44).

Notable Quote:

“My name is Xena. I am a recovering people pleaser right here.”
—Xena Jones (15:00)

4. Prioritize Relationships & Practice Boundaries (16:47)

• Spend your time with people who “fuel you and give life to you,” not just those you’re obligated to.
• Set boundaries with those who deplete you (e.g., take a break from challenging relatives or leave early).
• Practice and prepare scripts for boundary-setting (“Thanks for the invite, I’m keeping things simple this year,” or “I’ll come for a couple of hours, but head off early.”)

Notable Quote:

“No is a very powerful and empowering word. No, I’m not going to stand here while you say this. No, I’m not going to be in the same room as you when you disrespect me.”
—Xena Jones (19:29)

5. Take Care of Yourself First (21:34)

• Sleep, rest, hydration, gentle movement, and listening to your needs are all vital—don’t let these slide (22:09).
• Allow yourself to do things “your way”: buy fewer gifts, say no to events, wear comfy clothes, skip draining traditions.
• Sensory self-care: Bring earplugs, wear hats or sunglasses, take strategic breaks (e.g., solo time in the bathroom).

Notable Quote:

“You have permission to wear comfy clothes. You have permission to leave early. You have full permission to skip traditions that drain you... to do Christmas your way.”
—Xena Jones (22:55)

Memorable Moments & Examples

• Black Friday Overwhelm: Xena humorously describes being plastered by sales ads and succumbing to dopamine spending on a planner (01:40–02:05).
• The Birthday Analogy: Planning her ideal birthday as a template for designing a better Christmas (08:34–10:18).
• People-Pleasing Reflections: Xena openly shares her journey as a “recovering people pleaser” and the cost of saying “yes” at her own expense (15:00).
• Boundary Scripts: Providing listeners with concrete language to assert their limits during family gatherings and gift exchanges (18:43–20:50).
• Sensory Strategies: Creative tips for managing overstimulation, like using Christmas hats to block bright lights and planning quick escapes (23:45–25:08).

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On Validating Emotions:

  "Whatever you are feeling right now... please know that your feelings are always valid. What you feel is valid, my friend." (03:27)

• On Impulse Holiday Spending:

  "So often what we do is we spend a lot of money because we're really excited about the holidays, my friend. That has so been me." (05:06)

• On People-Pleasing Costs:

  "Hi, my name is Xena. I am a recovering people pleaser right here. It doesn't work. Doesn't work out well for you. Ask me how I know..." (15:00)

• On Adult Boundaries:

  "As an adult, you get to decide, my friend. You get to say no. That is a very powerful and empowering word." (19:29)

• On Permission to Do Holidays Differently:

  "You have full permission to skip traditions that drain you. And you have permission, my friend, to do Christmas your way. Okay? I cosign your permission slip. Go right ahead." (22:55)

• Vision for Listeners:

  “I want you to imagine stepping into January, not being burned out... but instead feeling peaceful, feeling proud, feeling recharged... because you chose you during the holiday season.” (25:08)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• ADHD Holiday Challenges — 00:33–02:17
• Emotional Intensity & Validation — 02:35–05:52
• Five Steps for Surviving & Thriving — 06:28–22:09
  • Get Clear on the Outcome — 06:28
  • Decide What You Want to Spend — 10:18
  • Honor Your Capacity — 13:43
  • Relationships & Boundaries — 16:47
  • Self-Care Comes First — 21:34
• Practical Examples (Sensory/self-care/permission) — 23:45–25:24
• Conclusion & Reassurance — 25:24–end

Tone & Takeaway

Xena’s tone is warm, conversational, non-judgmental, and empowering: she repeatedly invites listeners to honor their unique needs, validate their feelings, and proactively shape their holiday experience. The episode is packed with compassion and permission for ADHD adults to put themselves first and make intentional (not impulsive) choices.

Essential message:
You can do the holidays your way, honor your needs, set boundaries, and move into the new year recharged, not depleted.