Podcast Summary

Podcast: Navigating Adult ADHD
Host: Xena Jones
Episode: #144 ADHD, Relationships + the AI Making Life Easier with Logan Donnelly
Date: December 15, 2025

Overview

This episode is a lively, insightful conversation between host Xena Jones and Logan Donnelly—a popular ADHD-focused content creator known as "Kiwi Dad," and an entrepreneur passionate about leveraging artificial intelligence for everyday life and ADHD support. The episode explores:

• Logan and his wife’s late ADHD diagnoses
• Navigating career, parenting, and relationships as two ADHD parents
• The nuances of medication journeys
• Emotional ups and downs, shame, and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria)
• Money management, household strategies, and communication tools
• How AI, including their new collaborative project "The Good Enough Coach," can support ADHD brains in work, life, and relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

ADHD Diagnosis Journeys ([03:54]–[14:53])

• Logan’s Early Experience: Diagnosed as a child (screened at age six) but didn’t pursue medication, as his mom was anti-medication. Only revisited the idea as an adult after recognizing ADHD traits during his teaching career and seeing a friend diagnosed.

  “I was like, had forgotten. And then, yeah, later on I came up. But yeah, paid off heaps later.” ([04:31])

• Catalyst for Adult Diagnosis: Triggered by observing ADHD diagnosis procedures in students, and a friend's significant improvement on medication.

  “That is like the first real alarm bells for me…I was like, that just sounds like every single person. Like, everyone's like that. But yeah, that kind of kicked it off.” ([05:06])

• Identity Shift & Medication Adjustments:

  • Both Logan and his wife, Charlotte, were diagnosed during major life transitions: starting a family, house ownership, career change.
  • Both emphasize the identity changes and long trial period required to find the right medication and dosage.

  “It took me just over a year... to really find what’s right.” ([12:53])

• "Quiet Brain" Moment: Both describe the dramatic experience of finally having mental quiet due to medication.

  “It’s like peaceful, but it’s like jarring. And it’s like that same thing of like…when the radio stops, you’re like, wait, there was music on?” ([09:57])

Medication: Experiences and Challenges ([08:03]–[14:53])

• Changing Medications: Both began with methylphenidate (Ritalin/Rubifen) and shifted to dexamphetamine or Vyvanse for better symptom management.

  “I changed medication about a year ago... and I’m much happier on the new meds than the old ones.” ([08:19])

• Pros and Cons:

  • Benefits: Greater focus, emotional regulation, productivity, quiet mind.
  • Drawbacks: Some experience creativity or empathy dulled on certain medications; side effects like increased flightiness or anxiety with particular stimulants; “comedown” frustration and irritability.

Embracing ADHD: The Double-Edged Sword ([14:53]–[24:37])

• Strengths:

  • Rapid skill acquisition, hyperfocus, adaptability, lateral problem-solving.
  • Xena: "I would not trade my brain for the world... I love being different." ([21:14])

• Challenges:

  • Out-of-sight/out-of-mind problems, difficulty maintaining friendships, emotional dysregulation, shame, and RSD.
  • “With ADFC it's a tricky one...the negatives are pretty high I think especially if you don't know and you're not medicated.” ([17:31])

• Views on Late Diagnosis:

  • Both found their late diagnoses validating, clarifying a lifetime of struggles.

  “It was just so much validation and relief. I was like, oh my God, everything makes sense now.” ([23:30])

Relationships: Two ADHD Parents ([29:34]–[33:08])

• Dynamic at Home:

  • Both Logan and Charlotte have ADHD; together since age 16, now parents of two.
  • ADHD brings shared understanding, fun and creativity (“getting into” things together), but also joint struggles with burnout and executive dysfunction.

• Challenges:

  • Budgeting and spending (“burn through money”), out-of-spoons evenings, and snowballing chores when both are overwhelmed.

  “If we both just couldn't be bothered doing the dishes...it's not because we don't respect the other person...we're out of spoons.” ([31:08])

• Notable Quote:

  “Honestly, if I didn’t have my meds, it’d be very scary to me.” ([17:51], Logan)

ADHD-Friendly Relationship Strategies ([34:59]–[44:34])

• Spoon Theory Check-Ins:

  • Simple communication: “I’ve got 40% left for the day, how much have you got?” or “I’m a three out of ten right now.”
  • Helps divide labor and offer recovery time.

  “That requires no mental energy to explain why you're a two or a three. Because you just be like, I'm a three.” ([37:09])

• Safe Words & Playful Tools:

  • "Rigby": A mutually agreed “safe word” to preface potentially fraught questions, signaling no intent to criticize.
  • “Patrick” or “The Fairies”: Fictional scapegoats for domestic mistakes, reducing blame and tension.

  “Rigby is just like a safe word essentially. It could be any word...You add Rigby in front...to be like, this means nothing. I'm just asking.” ([41:51])

Parenting Challenges & Emotional Triggers ([44:34]–[48:09])

• Overstimulation:

  • Parenting with ADHD is both rewarding and a “nightmare” due to noise, unpredictability, and sensory overwhelm.
  • Strategies for coping include tagging out, explicit communication, and restorative alone-time.

  “Kids, again with ADHD and kids, it's like kind of a nightmare because it's also the worst. Like overstimulating, over stimulation.” ([38:02])

Leveraging AI for ADHD ([48:09]–[64:40])

• AI as an ADHD Superpower Amplifier:

  • AI (specifically custom GPT agents) can automate boring or difficult executive tasks—jump-starting projects or drafting text.
  • Logan uses AI to:
    • Summarize and synthesize parenting books for customized, situation-specific advice rather than slogging through entire texts.
    • Help with emails, creative writing, work projects, and even meal-planning.
    • Augment emotional regulation and self-coaching (especially with RSD).

  "I think ADHD and AI are so complementary...AI is such a brilliant way to get that canvas." ([48:45])
  “The more it's got to know me, the better it gets.” ([55:22], Xena)

• The "Good Enough Coach":

  • Logan and Xena have co-created a custom AI assistant (“Good Enough Coach”) focused exclusively on ADHD, trained on evidence-based strategies and expert texts.
  • Designed to provide supportive, situation-specific advice and emotional reframing—without the noise or false encouragement of generic AI.

  “It’s as if the 10 best authors in that subject experiencing ADHD. And then like, this is what we would do...” ([51:59], Logan)

  • Key benefits: Allows users to speak or type their concerns, receive real-time support and coaching, and build self-awareness—without gatekeeping or the cost/time of professional coaching.

Emotional Regulation, Shame, and RSD ([64:40]–[73:51])

• AI-Assisted Emotional Coaching:
  • Xena and Logan both highlight AI’s role in helping name and process emotions, lowering emotional pressure
  • “Name it to tame it”—labeling embarrassment or shame defuses the emotional charge.
  • AI can offer both compassionate perspective and pragmatic tools for “stuck” moments (e.g., RSD spirals, shame after making a mistake).

  “Just the act of saying it gets it off...While I’m saying it, I’m like, ‘this is kinda dumb’...but just the act of saying it, like, gets it off. Like, it's not in my head anymore.” ([68:52], Logan)

Wrapping Up: Collaboration & Resources ([73:51]–end)

• The Good Enough Coach:

  • Now publicly available at a low price (link in show notes) as an accessible self-coaching tool for ADHD adults, no technical or AI experience needed.
  • Listeners are encouraged to offer feedback as Logan and Xena continue to iterate and refine the tool.

  “The whole goal here is, like, this has been a personal couple thing almost. And then it's like, I don't know how it works with everyone. And so it'd be really cool for us to, like, learn it and to, like, make it better and better.” ([75:23], Logan)

• Kiwi Dad Content:

  • Logan’s past and ongoing work as Kiwi Dad, his social media success, and his pivot to AI/ADHD tools—links provided in show notes for more parenting and neurodivergence content.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Medication:

  “It’s like peaceful, but it’s like jarring. …It’s like this music just playing all the time…when it actually stops, you’re like, oh my gosh, has that been going on the whole time?”
  [09:57] - Logan

• On ADHD Superpowers:

  “We become…experts overnight, right? …You learn about…the origin of plumbing in London or something, you know, it’s some obscure thing, but…you learn it thoroughly.”
  [15:46] - Logan

• On Parenting & Relationships:

  “We’re both super into planning the party and stuff right now… probably too much. Like, we’re probably getting too into it.”
  [30:39] - Logan

  “If we both just couldn't be bothered doing the dishes that night, it's not because we don't respect the other person…we’re out of spoons.”
  [31:08] - Logan

• On Using AI:

  “AI is such a brilliant way to get that canvas...Shaping something is easy or easier, but starting is really hard. And AI is such a brilliant way to get that canvas.”
  [48:45] - Logan

  “I think of AI now as, like, my executive functioning assistant.”
  [55:04] - Xena

• On the “Good Enough Coach:”

  “It’s compassionate and helps you get out of your cognitive bias. …It understands ADHD people.”
  [65:35] - Logan

  “Having a coach in your pocket, basically.”
  [76:13] - Logan

• On Self-Compassion:

  “Even like the name Good Enough is like …you are still good enough if you don't get the thing done today or this week.”
  [73:23] - Logan

• On Emotional Awareness:

  “Now through like, using AI to have more words…I mean, to be like, oh, like, actually, like, yeah, this is rejection. Or like, yeah, shame. Shame is one that I had never actually identified.”
  [70:50] - Logan

Key Timestamps

• 03:54 – Logan’s childhood diagnosis & rediscovery
• 08:03 – Major life transitions; starting meds, marriage, first child
• 09:57 – Describing the “quiet mind” effect of meds
• 14:53 – Weighing ADHD as strength & struggle
• 29:34 – Parenting and relationship dynamics with two ADHD adults
• 35:31 – Spoon theory check-in and communication tools
• 41:51 – “Rigby”: Using a safe word in domestic communication
• 48:09 – Introduction to AI for ADHD support
• 52:01 – How AI can synthesize advice from parenting books
• 65:13 – Real-time support for RSD and anxiety via AI coach
• 73:23 – Self-compassion and “good enough” mindset
• 76:13 – Launching the Good Enough Coach for listeners

Resources

• Good Enough Coach: Custom ADHD AI coach, collaborative project by Xena & Logan ([Show Notes])
• Kiwi Dad Content: Instagram, TikTok, YouTube ([Show Notes])
• Xena Jones – Navigating Adult ADHD: Website, podcast archives, coaching information ([Show Notes])

For more ADHD strategies, emotional support, and coaching tools, check out the full episode and related links in the show notes.