Podcast Summary: Navigating Adult ADHD

Episode #150 – Why it’s so Hard to Do Something Easy (The Wall Of Awful)

Host: Xena Jones
Date: January 26, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Xena Jones unpacks the paradoxical difficulty that adults with ADHD face when trying to complete seemingly “easy” tasks—like replying to an email or booking an appointment. The focus is the “Wall of Awful,” a concept coined by Brendan Mahan, describing the invisible, emotional roadblocks that prevent action. Xena uses personal anecdotes, science-backed insight, and practical strategies to empower listeners to recognize and work with their own Wall of Awful.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What is the Wall of Awful?

• Definition: An invisible emotional barrier between you and the task you need to do.
  • “The short answer is because your ADHD brain is not being difficult, it's actually protecting you from something it has decided feels too big, too heavy, too much today.” (00:45)
  • “So the Wall of Awful is an invisible emotional barrier that stands between you and the task that you need to do.” (01:23)
• It’s NOT a motivation or willpower issue.
  • “It is not a motivation or a willpower problem.” (02:13)
• Built from “Bricks” of Emotional Experiences:
  • Each brick = past painful experiences (e.g., criticism, failure, shame).
  • “Every brick in that wall is a past painful experience connected to a similar task.” (03:07)

How the Wall of Awful Shows Up

• You may want to do a task, but are met with dread or self-criticism.
  • “From the outside... this just looks like I'm procrastinating it, I'm avoiding it. But from the inside... it feels huge. It literally feels like I'm standing in front of this giant, awful, ugly brick wall that has no safe way through or over it.” (06:56)
• When you avoid or procrastinate, more bricks are added to the wall, making the barrier higher the next time.
• Personal Example: Blood Test Anxiety
  • Xena unpacks her own emotional “bricks” (dread, shame, anxiety) about getting blood drawn, despite physical proximity and available free time. (10:12)

Emotions Drive Actions

• “Emotions drive actions. What you feel determines what you do and what you don’t do... this is human psychology.” (08:40)
• Recognizing this is essential to compassionate self-understanding and effective coping.

Recognizing & Illuminating the Wall

• Awareness is key: “Simply knowing that you are staring at a wall of awful... is good news... it gives us language of what the hell is going on. It's kind of like turning on a light in a dark room.” (18:02)
• Xena offers a free worksheet for mapping your own Wall of Awful.

ADHD-Friendly Strategies for Getting Past the Wall

Xena introduces three “ways to get yourself to the other side of the Wall of Awful” (19:28):

1. Climb the Wall Safely

• Do the emotional work on purpose.
  • Allow and name your feelings, rather than avoiding or invalidating them.
    • “We're climbing this wall... by doing the feelings part, right? Regulating our emotions, regulating our nervous system and helping ourselves to feel and allow the emotions and work through them.” (21:45)
  • Example: Xena uses EFT tapping, self-talk, and permission to feel (“I’m allowed to cry. It’s okay. You’re doing really, really good.”) (25:09)
  • Don’t: Use self-criticism (“Stop being so ridiculous. Just get over it!”) — only adds more bricks.

2. Add Footholds (Make the Climb Easier)

• Practical supports to reduce overwhelm:
  • Self-Compassion: Talk to yourself as you would to a friend.
  • Clarify “What Done Looks Like”: Explicitly define the goal (e.g., “reply to three emails” instead of “clear my inbox”).
  • Break Tasks into Tiny Steps: Simplifies the mountain into manageable molehills.
  • Ask for Help: Use “body doubling” (having someone present with you, e.g., partner accompanying for the blood test) or accountability.
  • Time the Task: Get real data—often tasks take less time than your brain predicts.
    • “If you time how long it takes... you’re in and out... so fast.” (37:40)
  • Each “foothold” lowers the wall’s emotional intensity.

3. Put a Door in the Wall (Change the Emotional Fuel)

• Change why you’re doing the task:
  • Link to your values (e.g., “Future me deserves answers and energy”).
    • “I’m doing this blood test because future me deserves to have answers and energy. One of the things I really value is freedom... that helps to change the fuel that I’m using.” (41:00)
  • Use the NICU tool—find Novelty, Interest, Challenge, Urgency to add dopamine or stimulation.
    • Example: Listen to a favorite podcast (Landman) while doing a boring task.
  • Using new, positive motivation makes the task feel lighter and more possible.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Experience:

  “It’s that heavy, stuck, guilty feeling, that big feeling. It kind of feels like you’re trying to drag yourself through mud.” — Xena, (01:47)

• On Avoidance Cycle:

  “The higher the wall, the more we will avoid and procrastinate... which of course, what happens when we avoid and we procrastinate? There is more failure. There is more bricks added to this wall.” — Xena, (04:56)

• On Compassion as Demolition:

  “Self judgment is what adds more bricks to the wall... But kindness and self compassion is what helps remove bricks.” — Xena, (48:24)

• On the Power of Naming the Wall:

  “When you catch yourself staring at a task, freezing up—number one, name it: This is my wall of awful. Right? Label your bricks.” — Xena, (49:36)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 00:45 – Why “easy” is so hard for ADHD brains; introduction to Wall of Awful.
• 03:07 – “Bricks” of the Wall: past emotional pain and failure.
• 06:56 – How the Wall feels from inside vs. outside.
• 10:12 – Blood test example: personal “bricks.”
• 18:02 – Power of awareness: naming and recognizing your own Wall.
• 19:28 – Three ADHD-friendly ways of dealing with the Wall.
• 21:45 – Climbing the wall safely: emotional regulation strategies.
• 28:34 – The role of self-talk, what NOT to say to yourself.
• 33:06 – Adding footholds: identifying practical supports.
• 37:40 – Timing tasks to challenge catastrophizing.
• 41:00 – Changing the emotional fuel: linking to values and NICU tool.
• 48:24 – “Brick math”: self-compassion vs. judgment.
• 49:36 – Naming and strategizing on your Wall of Awful.

Actionable Takeaways

• Recognize your Wall of Awful—it’s REAL and built from emotion, not laziness or failure.
• Emotional regulation and self-compassion are key to dismantling the wall.
• Use practical strategies: break tasks down, add support, and clarify end goals.
• Change your motivation by connecting tasks to your values or actively adding novelty/stimulation.
• Be kind: every act of self-compassion removes a brick; every act of self-judgment adds one.

Resources & Next Steps

• Free Wall of Awful Worksheet: Map your own emotional barriers and learn how to work with them (available in episode show notes).
• More Help: Visit navigatingadultadhd.com for further support, coaching, and resources.

Tone: Compassionate, no-nonsense, ADHD-affirming. Xena speaks from both lived experience and deep empathy, blending personal anecdotes with actionable advice.

Best Soundbite:

"No wonder my brain's trying to help me. It's trying to protect me from feeling that way. And once you see the bricks, you can start to choose how you climb, where you put the footholds, or if you install a door in the wall." (50:09)

Summary prepared to be accessible and valuable for anyone, especially if you haven’t heard the episode.