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You are listening to the Navigating Adult ADHD podcast with your ADHD coach and expert, Xena. Hello, my friend. Welcome back to Navigating Adult adhd, where today we are talking about a topic that is one I think you're going to really relate to, and that is sensory differences. So you know those days where your bra feels like a torture device, where someone's chewing sounds like a personal attack, where you're in the supermarket and the lights are just so intense you feel like they're trying to kill your soul and suddenly you just can't think because your jeans are touching your hips in this weird way? Yeah, me too. So, of course, today we're talking about it, my friend. We are talking about sensory differences and adhd, because for a lot of adults with adhd, this stuff gets missed. So we think that we are bad at adulting, we think that we are too sensitive, too picky, too strange, too intense, when actually our nervous system may just be processing sensory input differently. So again, this is hugely common for people with adhd. So what are the sensory differences? As a neurodivergent human, we often experience differences in how we process, feel, experience and use sensory information. So this could show up as you have sensory preferences, sensory dislikes, or things that you would rather avoid. You might seek out certain things, sensory seeking behaviours. Okay, And I'm going to give you so many examples, don't you worry. But it's also really important to note that your sensory profile, the things that you like, dislike you, seek out what have you. This can change often what you like one day, you may not like the next. So we're going to talk about that as well. And you've likely heard me say this before, especially if you're a longtime listener of the podcast. We take in more information from the world around us via our senses, meaning we see more than our neurotypical friends. We hear more, we taste things differently, we smell things differently. And all of this information that we are taking in through our senses has to be filtered through our brain. And our brain has to decide what to do with it. Is that important? Do I need to worry about it or what frame of reference do I have for that? And that that can be very, very overwhelming. So I wanted to share a quick story with you. At the weekend, my partner and I, Em. My partner, Em and I, we were away at a hotel. We were staying up in Auckland and we went to see Mel Robbins live in Auckland at a, like an event thing. It was fantastic. Anyway, we are staying in this Hotel. And we decide to go down to the spa and they've got a gym. And you walk through the gym out to this really long lap pool. And at one end of the lap pool is a spa, and then next to that there's a sauna. And there were a couple of people in the pool and they weren't making too much noise. And then when we got down there, there were a couple also in the spa and they moved out the way so that we could get in. And then you could hear all of this commotion coming from the sauna, which is right next to us. And there was this group of teenage girls, I think there were seven of them, about 12 years old, having the time of their life, living it up in the sauna, coming and going, leaving the door open and all of the heat out. And we. We actually wanted to go in the sauna as well. We wanted to do the spa and the sauna. So anyway, it was about, I think, 7 o' clock at night by this stage. And I am sitting in this spa and I'm doing the whole Woo Sa. You know, if you've ever watched Bad Boys. And I think, is it Mike Lowry has to. Is it Mike? No. He gets his partner to like, massage his ears and he's like trying to calm himself down. So I'm sitting in this sauna and all I can hear. Sorry, I'm sitting in bar and all I can hear are these girls, these teenage girls in the sauna, like, super loud and giggly and coming and going and running around. Then I can hear the couple behind us chattering away. And then one of them gets out and creates this wave effect and I'm just like, I'm so bothered by it. And then the girls all get out the sauna and I'm like, that's it, let's go in there and shut the door. So we jump out the spa, we go in the sauna, and we're like, okay, barricade ourselves in here and keep them out. And then I'm sitting in the sauna and I can feel the sweat running down my face. And all I kept thinking, and then I actually started it. To my partner, I was like, I'm done. I'm done. I am done. I'm over it. I'm done. Now, here's the thing. This isn't just. I don't like loud noises, okay? This is what your brain notices. It's how intensely it notices it. It's how quickly you get overloaded. And then it's what your body does to try and cope. Okay? So for adults with adhd, these sensory differences that we experience, this can affect our mood, our focus, our ability to pay attention, our emotional regulation. Okay? You might snap or lash out, which is really where I was about to go. It can also impact your sleep, your work capacity, your ability to get shit done. It can impact your socializing, your relationships, your relationship to food, the things that you can and can't eat or do and don't eat, exercise, and, of course, burnout. So in this episode, we are going to dive deep into how and why it impacts all of those things. Right? I'm going to break it down into the different types of sensory differences, and we're going to talk about what each of these look like. We're going to give you a whole bunch of, like, real life examples for adults with adhd. And here's why this is so important, my friend, because when you understand this stuff, so much of your life starts to make way more sense. All right, so starting from the top, there are more senses than most people realize. And it wasn't until I got my ADHD diagnosis, until went down the rabbit hole of doing all of the research that I learned there's more than just the five classic senses. So of course, we've got the touch or the tactile. We've got the hearing, which is also the auditory. Okay, the third one is the smell. The fourth is your sight, what you see, the visual sense. And then the last one, the fifth one, is taste. So those are the classic five that we know about. But then, my friend, there are three more that matter here too. So one of these is called proprioceptive. So this is our body's awareness or our. Yeah, so like our bodily awareness. Pressure on where your body is in relation to objects around you. Okay? Then we've got vestibula, which involves your movement, your balance, your ability to stay upright, stability. And then the third one, which you may have heard me talk about before on the podcast, because this is massive for us with adhd, and that is interoception, and that is how your body reads and interprets and sends you your internal body signals, which is things like hunger, thirst, needing to go to the toilet, your temperature, and also when you're starting to get stressed before you explode. Right? Sending you that information now. Don't worry if you're like, whoa, hang on, what? We're going to go deep. Don't worry. So again, once you understand all of this, once you understand and see these sensory differences in your life, a lot of Things start to make a shit ton of sense. Okay? So for me, it was like, oh, no wonder I've got random bruises from bumping into things. No wonder my friends and I always laugh about how clumsy I am. No wonder I trip over my own feet sometimes. No wonder I've always had this issue with overeating because my body isn't getting the message that I'm actually full until I'm, like, stuffed. It all makes so much more sense. And that's what I really, really want you to get from this episode, my friend. I don't want you to walk away thinking, holy shit, I'm a lot. But instead, I want you to leave thinking, wait, there is a reason for this. Because here's the thing. Sometimes the problem isn't that you are dramatic or needy or, you know, bad at adulting. Sometimes it's simply your nervous system has just been in a fist fight with its environment since you woke up this morning. Alright, so let's break these down one by one, because sensory differences don't all look the same. And you might hear yourself in some of these and think, hang on, that makes so much sense. This explains my whole life. All right, so some of these things that I'm going to share with you, they're about things that we avoid, some of them are about things that we seek out. And some of them are both depending on the day, depending on our stress level, depending on hormones, on sleep, on whether life has been hitting us a little too hard lately. So you will no doubt have experienced having a jumper on that can feel really cozy one day and then like an absolute demon the next. So let's start with touch. So starting with the first sense, which is the touch or the tactile differences, this is all about how we experience touch, textures, fabric, temperature, pressure, and also physical contact. So for some of us, the touch thing can be a really huge deal. So this could look like you have to cut the tags out of your clothes, being really, really fussy about fabrics. That's definitely one for me. I can't have anything that itches and I really hate polyester. Shit. Now, it might be that you hate your socks sitting weird, or you can feel the pressure of them if they're too long and come too far up your leg and it really bothers you. And it's not just, yeah, everybody gets a little bit annoyed by an itchy fabric every now and again. It is. It hijacks your mind and you can't think about anything else and you can't focus. Maybe it's not being able to focus because your bra or your undies or your jeans just feel wrong today. It's being fine with touch when you're expecting it, but maybe hating unexpected touch. Being bothered by sticky hands or wet sleeves or damp clothes. It might be that you struggle with certain food textures too. I know a few people in my life hate seafood, especially things like mussels or squid, because of the texture. I also know somebody who doesn't eat vegetables. And again, it's the texture just freaks them out. They just can't do it. And for some ADHDers, there are also a lot of tactile things that we love. So soft blankets. I love soft blankets. Fluffy dressing gowns. There might be certain textures that feel calming. I know somebody who loves silk and running silk through their hands really soothes them. Being wrapped up like a little burrito. Deep pressure. Maybe it's deep pressure massages or just really like hard, tight hugs. Might be warm baths. For me, it's a hot shower, running your hands over something soft or repetitive. I know for me, sometimes I'll get my hair tie, which often sits around my wrist, and I will just run it through my fingers repeatedly. And that just feels really soothing for me. So when it comes to this first sense, this touch or tactile, it can kind of feel like your skin has its own opinions. And unfortunately it didn't really consult you, did it? And here's the thing, my friend, this stuff can change. You might wear something one day and be absolutely fine, feel really good in it, and then wear that exact same thing a week later and want to peel it off in the car park and throw it in the trash because it just does not feel right. So that is why sensory differences can also be really confusing because they're definitely not consistent how adhd. All right, the second one is auditory differences. So next up is sound. And again, this one is often a very big one for people with adhd. So this could look like being unable to think or focus or concentrate when multiple people are talking. Feeling instantly irritated by chewing. Fuck. Some days, and it's only some days, it's typically when my meds are wearing off. So we're talking around 6 o' clock in the evening onwards when my partner's sitting next to me chewing his dinner. Oh my God, I want to. I want to hurt them. I really do. Right? So feeling instantly irritated by chewing, by sniffing, by tapping or humming or any sounds like that. I know for somebody, someone, it is the checkout beeps that might be you as well. The checkout beeps when they're scanning the items through the checkouts. Getting overwhelmed in cafes, malls, airports, open plan offices. I've heard from so many adhders who struggle in that open plan office environment with so many different noises coming at them. Could look like you struggle with background noise. Any background noise when you are trying to focus, being startled really easy by sudden sounds. Hi. That is me finding one repetitive noise just absolutely unbearable. And then there's the other side of it too. So you might listen to the same song on repeat 47 times. Yeah, I can so relate. That's definitely me too. You might love loud music when you choose it. Maybe you need music to focus and it's certain music. You might find certain sounds to be really, really soothing. So for some people, that might be white noise or brown noise or rain sounds. Maybe you find noise cancelling headphones really, really good. Really helps you to calm and soothe. Because it's not always just about the volume. It's often about the predictability, the ability to control those sounds. How many sounds are happening at once is often really big for us. And whether or not your brain can filter any of that out. Now, my brain can happily listen to the same song on repeat for an embarrassingly long time. Okay. But again, when my partner's chewing near me, it can make me want to commit murder. And again, that makes sense when you understand that our brains often struggle to filter sensory input in the background. And we can become very hyper focused on that one thing that can be very distracting and take all of our attention. So let's next talk about the smell differences. So smell is one of those kind of sneaky ones that people don't always think about, but it can actually, again, have a pretty big impact. So this could look like being really bothered by perfumes or aftershaves. It could be that you get nauseous from strong smells. You maybe get distracted by smells that other people barely even notice. That's definitely me. Actually, funny story. Just this morning I got up super early to go for a walk, and I come downstairs and I'm like, oh my God. Like, who's being toilet downstairs? All everybody's asleep upstairs. And I swear I can smell somebody has not flushed a number two. And it stinks. And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. My partner's like, what smell? And it was. It was crazy because there was nothing in there. There was no smell. Like there was not. There was no reason for it, the smell to be there. And I'm Like, I can smell it, but that, again, like, totally hijacked me. It could also be that you walk into a room and you instantly feel off, even before you realize it's this smell. You might be put off food because of the smell, feel overwhelmed by places with a lot of, you know, different smells going on, whether it's like food courts or if you may be traveling around different countries. It could be supermarkets, bathrooms, kids, candles, even cleaning products, Public spaces. That could be really difficult because of all of that sensory stuff coming through the smell. Okay, now again, some smells might be really regulating or really soothing for you. You might love fresh washing. You might love a certain candle or a certain shampoo. The smell of clean sheets. Maybe it's peppermint or coffee. I love the smell of coffee. But if I'm not feeling well, it's the worst thing in the world. So a comforting smell that helps you and your body to relax. So again, smell can affect mood, appetite, nausea, focus, and whether your nervous system actually feels safe or on edge. And sometimes your body clocks a smell before your brain has even caught up. And suddenly you're irritable, you're headachy, you're queasy, or just desperate to leave before you can actually register that there's some smells in here that are really bothering you. All right, my friend, next up is the visual differences. Okay, so this is about light, about clutter, movement, colors, busyness, and what your eyes and your brain are taking in. So this might look like the flourish. Fluorescent. Fluorescent. Oh, dear. My friend, fluorescent lights, they might feel really harsh or be very, very draining, especially if one is flickering. That always gets my attention. If there's one that's kind of flickering on and. Oh, bothers me. Bright lights might make you feel really tired, really fried. Visual clutter maybe makes it really hard for you to think, you know, if you. I talk about this all the time, but, like, I come downstairs some days I work upstairs in my office. I come downstairs into the kitchen, and, you know, the kids can. When the kids are with us for the week, it can look like a tornado's gone through our house. You've got school bags and lunch boxes and shoes and clothes and toys and shit just strewn in everywhere. Not a single cushion is on the couch because they're better on the floor for some reason. You know, all of their dishes are still out on the bench because somehow their arms stopped working and they didn't end up in the dishwasher. And for me, that kind of clutter can be, like. Right. So Again, that visual clutter might make it really hard for you to think. Or it might make you really irritable, which it often does for me. Again, messy environments might make you feel really overwhelmed. You may struggle in busy shops or crowded spaces. You might find too much movement around you to be really, really distracting. Again, people in those open plan office spaces often talk about that. When somebody walks past, they're often sort of very distracted by, where's that person going? What are they doing? What's happening? You might hate prolonged eye contact. Again, that visual difference when somebody's, like, staring at you for too long, especially when you're trying to think. I know for me, I will always look away because I do my best thinking when I look away, not when I'm trying to stare at your eyes. But again, we can also be visually drawn to things that feel either stimulating for us or soothing for us. Could be fairy lights, pretty colors. For me, it's always fluorescent colors. I love them. I'm obsessed. Could be certain movement patterns, visually satisfying spaces. So I remember years ago, I think, where was it I was in? Was it Valencia? I don't know. Barcelona. It must be Barcelona somewhere in Spain. I think it was Barcelona. And they've got this incredible water fountain that like, dances to music and lights up with different colors. I know they've got something similar in Vegas. Somewhere in Vegas. Anyway, I remember being there and I could have sat there for hours, probably days, just watching this because it was so beautiful and soothing. Right. So visually satisfying spaces. Again, that. That water fountain is definitely one for me. It could also be candles and lamps and softer lighting that help soothe you and calm you. Organized environments. Right. So for me, my office is one of those where it's always tidy and clean. And actually, I say that, but I do have a pile of shit in one corner. It's a whole bunch of puzzles because I'm in my obsessed with puzzles phases right now. So it's a whole bunch of puzzles piled in one corner. But it's organized, right. It's not like, strewn everywhere. And this one, you know, this visual clutter, this matters quite a lot because it's not just an aesthetic issue. For many of us, when we have that visual clutter, it becomes distraction, it becomes overwhelm, it becomes decision fatigue. There's so much to put away and to do things with, you know, paralysis, mental sort of hijacking. Like it hijacks your brain. So sometimes that pile of stuff on the kitchen bench isn't just a pile on the bench. It's like 37 different tabs open in your brain and 15 different decisions that have to be made about all of that. And again, that's why a cluttered environment can make it harder for us to function, harder for us to get started, and again, harder for us to regulate our emotions. So next up, my friend, we got taste differences. This one's so interesting. So let's talk about it because, yes, this isn't about just being fussy. Taste might be about flavour intensity, temperature and texture. Okay? So this can look like having strong preferences for certain flavours. You might crave crunchy or salty or spicy or fizzy or icy or sour foods. And again, I have found so many people say crunchy things help them to calm down. Right? So interesting going through the same food phases. For me, I once did a whole, I think it was about three months of pickles where I ate pickles with breakfast, lunch and dinner and even snacks. Like I ate pickles like they were going out of fashion over a jar a week. I was obsessed. It can also look like needing food to feel right or you just can't eat it. Being turned off by certain textures of food. Again, I talked before about, you know, certain people around me not liking seafood like the mussels and the prawns and all of that, just being like an ick for them could be gagging at certain foods when other people are like, no, this is completely fine. And also getting bored with food easily is something that we see a lot. So again, a lot of adhders can struggle with food because eating is not just about eating. It can be very sensory, it can become very emotional. It can also be very dopamine related. Okay. We often seek out certain foods for stimulation or for regulation. Right? Emotional eating, routine related, energy related. Okay. So sometimes a food isn't just a food and sometimes, you know, what you eat one day is fine, but the next day it's a hell no, I can't do that, I'm never going to eat it again. That was me with pickles. One day I was like, I'm done, no more pickles. Okay? So if you've ever thought, why am I like this, my friend? The answer could quite simply be it's our sensory differences that we have. So let's get into the less well known ones. First up is proprioception. Okay? So this is your sense of your body's awareness. It helps you know where your body is in relation to other things. Okay. It also helps you know how much pressure you're using and how your body is moving. So if this one's a little bit wonky, it might explain a lot. Okay. And I definitely relate to this. So it could look like being clumsy. Okay. Bumping into door frames or bed frames. I always seem to hit our bed frame. I swear to God, it's just been moved out further and further every day. But it's not. But I always managed to misjudge the bed frame and just walk into it. Right. Misjudging where your body is in relation to other objects. That is proprioception. Knocking things over, tripping over your own feet, always having random bruises and no memory of how you got there. Mm. Using too much or too little force without meaning to. So this is why so many of us often joke about being like a giraffe in human's clothing. Okay. But here's the thing. Proprioception also links to the kinds of input we might seek out to regulate ourselves. So that might look like you love weighted blankets. I know I do. Like even in summer I have to have like a heavy duvet on me and the aircon blasting because otherwise I'm not going to sleep. Maybe you love tight hugs or those deep pressure massages. Stretching, leaning on things, pacing while you're thinking, Lifting weights, fidgeting, squeezing things. Right? Just squeezing. Like I love a good squeezy ball. Just squeezing it over and over in my hand. So satisfying. Pressing your feet into the floor. Which funnily enough, I'm doing right now as I record this with you. And this is really important because not all soothing, regulation or calming activities look like, you know, sitting cross legged like a meditating monk. Okay. These are things that are so good to understand and know about ourselves because they can help us to calm, to soothe, to create that feeling of safety that our body needs and wants. So again, this is all to do with proprioception. So sometimes that regulation and self soothing can look like movement or pressure or squeezing or chewing or stomping or lifting or stretching or wrapping yourself in that weighted blanket. For some, ADHD is the body needs more physical input in order to feel calm, grounded and present. That reminds me one time, I don't know what had happened, but I remember being so upset it years and years ago and like I was like crying, like, like just distraught. I remember my partner giving me, he gave me like this beer tight hug. Like I could not move. I couldn't even put my arms out to like hug him back. Just like beer tight hug. And it was like, it was so good, it actually helped me to slow my breathing to calm down. And I didn't want him to stop. Like, it was just so helpful. And as we're like going through this, this episode and I'm like, yeah, actually that has been so helpful in the past. Again, that, that pressure and that squeez tightness. So again, one of our less well known senses, the second one here is the vestibular. Vestibular differences. So this is all about movement, balance and stability. Okay, so this is like your inner sense of motion. So what this could look like is you might love to rock or sway side to side. This is so me. If you've ever like hung out with me in person, meet me in person. Oh my gosh, I can't stay still. Like, I love to sway side to side. Maybe it's bouncing. You might bounce or swing or dance. Find that really, really good. You might feel soothed by certain movement. Okay, I know for me, I walk every day and find that so soothing. You might need movement to focus. People who have walking pads, who have standing desks, etc, might really help with focus. Definitely helps me. You might find you constantly shift position. If you have ever watched me on a live call where I'm seated, I get up out of my seat every few minutes and reposition myself constantly. You find that you fidget in chairs, pace while you're on the phone. Again, this can be to do with your vestibular differences. The sense. Now it can also go the other way. Some ADHD's can struggle with motion sickness, feel dizzy really, really easily. Some may hate escalators. Maybe that's you. You hate escalators or boats or spinning rides or certain exercises. I don't mind escalators, but I'm not a fan of going on a boat or any spinning ride. I'm out. Maybe you feel unsafe or unsettled when movement is sudden. You might lean on walls or furniture. Might find that more sort of stable. Maybe you don't enjoy certain activities that involve a lot of coordination or a lot of movement. I know for me, the one time I ever tried. What was that, what was it called? That dance class where. Oh, I can't even think of the name. You're probably yelling it at me right now. It's a real popular dance class for women and. Oh God, I can't even think what it's called. Anyway, I tried one of those. This was before hip hop. Like I did a hip hop class once. It was a joke. It was hilarious. Like how uncoordinated and behind and how I couldn't remember all the Moves hilarious. But it was before that. There was something that came out before that, maybe like 15 years ago. It was real popular. Anyway, I tried that, and I am so uncoordinated that everyone was going left, like, shimmy, shimmy left, and I would shimmy, shimmy right and, like, whack into people. And then everyone's like, you know, kick your leg out in front, and I'm kicking it back and I'm hitting people. Like, that is my level of coordination. It does not exist. So for some of us, movement helps us regulate or certain movements, but for others, it may disregulate, maybe make you feel really off or really agitated or on edge. Okay. And again, it could just depend on the day. So that's why understanding your own sensory profile is it really matters, because what calms one person might completely throw another person off. Off. So, next up, the final one, my favorite is interoception. Okay, this is a massive one for ADHDs. In fact, I actually have a whole podcast on this because understanding this helps hugely when it comes to emotional regulation and so many of our ADHD symptoms that we often struggle with. So if you want to check it out, I'll link it in the show notes. But it's episode number 76, Interoception. So this is your ability to notice what is happening inside of your body. Okay? So think things like hunger, fullness, thirst, needing to go to the toilet, your temperature, pain, tiredness, your emotions, your heart rates, your stress signals. Now, for those of us with adhd, this one is pretty patchy. And this can create all sorts of issues. So it can look like forgetting to eat, not noticing you're hungry until it's 2pm in the afternoon and you're absolutely ravenous or you've got, like, a really bad headache. It can also be the overeating because your body doesn't register fullness. Clearly forgetting to drink water, holding on far too long before you need to go to the toilet. Oh, my God, I'm so guilty of that. There have been so many times I have almost peed my pants. I'm going to be honest with you. It could be not realizing that you are tired until you just crash, not noticing that you are stressed or starting to get overwhelmed until you are snapping at everybody or you're hiding in the pantry crying. Maybe it's struggling to identify whether you are anxious or you're overstimulated or you're hungry or you're hot or something else entirely. So those of us with adhd, we don't often get those gentle body notifications, hey, hey. Like knock, knock, starting to get stressed. Or hey, it would be a good idea to start thinking about moving towards going to a toilet. Or hey, you haven't had water for a while, we're starting to get thirsty. I can feel that dryness in my throat. Like we generally either get silence or a full blown emergency broadcast. Again, we're so all or Nothing, right? Is zero or it's 100. Now, when you understand interoception, so many things start making a lot more sense. Like why you might struggle with self care, or why routines help so much, why meals get skipped. Or why burnout often sneaks up on us. Or why emotions can feel huge or really, really confusing. So my friends, when you zoom out and you look at all of this and all of these different senses and these sensory differences, you can see why this matters for those of us with adhd, okay? This is not just random fussiness. These sensory differences that we have, it affects how we focus, how we feel, how we eat, how we socialise, how we work, how we rest, how we move through the world, how quickly we get overloaded and how emotionally regulated we are or are not. Because if our nervous system has spent all day dealing with bright lights and scratchy clothes and loud noises and weird smells and hunger that you didn't notice, and clutter everywhere, constant interruptions and then you keep walking into the furniture, of course you are going to feel more reactive. Of course you might be snappy or overwhelmed or emotional or wanting to shut down. So sometimes what looks like, you know, poor, poor coping skills or poor emotional regulation is actually sensory overload. Okay? And that reframe, that understanding matters a lot. Because the goal here is not to judge ourselves. The goal is to understand ourself. So you're probably saying, okay, Xena, got it, got it. What actually helps? I hear you, my friend. Okay? If you are thinking, if you're listening to this and thinking, well, that explains my entire personality. Welcome. You're amongst good company, my friend. And this is good news. Once you understand these sensory patterns, you can support yourself so much better. Okay? Now, the goal is not to force yourself to tolerate everything or to tolerate what all of your neurotypical friends are tolerating. The goal here is to understand your brain and your body well enough that you can work with them instead of constantly fighting against them. Okay? And that's why the first thing I want to offer you is that it all starts with noticing. So, number one first step is start noticing your patterns. Okay? This Is really, really simple. Start paying attention to what tends to drain you, to what tends to soothe or regulate you, and to what tends to tip you over the edge. Okay, here are some questions you might want to ask yourself. What sensory things do I constantly avoid? What sensory things do I seek out? I know for me, when I go to my therapist's office, like, I love to sit on the sofa, and I will put a blanket. She has this fluffy pillow. I'll put a fluffy pillow on me. If she has a blanket, I might use that as well. And then I will grab a whole bunch of. She's got a whole bunch of sensory toys, and I'll grab a whole bunch of them and test them out and have my little stash, like, ready to go again. That's what I seek out. What environments make you feel instantly tense or irritable? What makes you feel calmer or safer or more grounded. What gets harder when I'm tired, stressed, hormonal, burnt out, hungry, or sick. Because often our sensory stuff gets louder when our system is already stretched or at capacity. Okay, so the bright lights that are mildly annoying on a good day can feel, like, deeply offensive on a bad day. The same supermarket can go from manageable to absolutely, hell, no. Get me out of here. Depending on your capacity. Okay, now, it does not mean you're being dramatic. It means that context matters. Okay, I'm gonna say it again. Context matters, my friend. So a really helpful question to ask here is what is happening in my environment right now that my nervous system might be reacting to? Okay. What is happening in my environment right now that my nervous system might be reacting to? Right, because sometimes the issue isn't that you've suddenly just become unreasonable. Sometimes the lights are too bright, the room is too loud, your clothes just feel wrong, you're hungry, and your brain has just declared war. It's over. Okay, so again, number one is start to notice those patterns. Number two, learn your early warning signs. A lot of us don't realize that we're getting overloaded until we're already, like, halfway to a meltdown, until we're, you know, shutting down, spiraling the tears we're disappearing into a dark room. So it really helps to learn your early warning signs, which might be. You start getting snappy. That's definitely me. I start getting, like, irritable and snappy. Feeling restless, wanting everyone to stop talking, struggling to think clearly, Feeling suddenly really, really tired, Clenching your jaw. That's one that I've noticed. I do a little bit too. Feeling hot. Maybe you feel like your skin's crawling, like you want to rip your clothes off. Could be that you're getting teary for no reason, feeling like everything is too much again. What are those? Early warning signs. Learn those now. They're not again, they're not character flaws or defects or whatever. These are. Your nervous system waving a little fluorescent flag says, hey, hey, listen, we're at capacity no more. Look at me, it's time to do something. Right? And the earlier you spot it, the easier it is to support yourself before that shit escalates. Okay, so that was number two. Learn your early warning signs. Number three, reduce the shit that fries you. Okay? Once you start to notice your patterns and those early warning signs, the next step is to ask, what can I reduce, remove, or soften? Okay? Because support is not always about doing more. Sometimes it's about exposing yourself to less sensory in the first place, which might look like using noise canceling headphones or wearing loop earplugs in loud places. Those tiny little earplugs that slip in that you barely even notice. Okay, I was actually playing a game with my partner, like obsessed with banana grams right now. So we were playing banana grams with downstairs the other day and the kids were watching a movie on tv and my partner's like, come on, come downstairs, we'll do it like with the kids, etc. And they didn't want to join in, they wanted to watch their movie, which was fine, but for me, I was just so overstimulated by all of the noise and then them, you know, niggling at one another and etc. And he gave me his noise cancelling headphones and he's got some like, I don't know, three, $400 fancy ass peer, right? And I've got some like budget Kmart ones or something. Anyway, I put his ones on and he pushed the noise cancelling button and I was like, oh my God, this is heaven. I can still hear you talk, but I can't hear all of that background. Seriously, it was a game changer. I was like, I'm going to invest in some of those, because that was next level. Okay? So again, this is how we can reduce, soften, remove those things that fry us. It might look like turning off the overhead lights and using lamps instead, wearing sunglasses. I do that even when it might be considered rude. Like if you're at a cafe with someone and it's really bright, they're on, right? Switching softer to softer or less irritating clothing, removing the tags, keeping your home visually calmer in. In spaces that matter, the Most. Okay, so for me, like, that's my office and my area of the bedroom. I can keep that shit, like, visually clutter free, right? So having those areas that you're able to do that I appreciate. Like, we're not going to be be able to do that in the whole house most of the time. I mean, maybe you're a ninja. I certainly can't. Might look like avoiding strong perfumes or fragranted products, limiting layered background. You might need to ask for some accommodations at work. Use the meeting rooms, the boardrooms, those sorts of things. Giving yourself permission to leave over stimulating places sooner instead of just trying to stick it out. Okay? And I think that this is really important to say. You don't need to earn comfort, okay? You don't need to prove that you can tolerate sensory misery before you are allowed to support yourself, right? If the bright light is bothering you, dim it. If the bra is evil, take it off, change it. If the cafe's too loud, leave. If the supermarket at peak hour ruins your life, go at a quieter time or order online, okay? This is not weakness, my friend. This is wisdom with better lighting. Okay? So number four, add in what regulates you. This one so important. Okay, so the other side of this is asking, what sensory input actually helps me to feel calmer, to feel more grounded or more focused, okay? Because many of us, we don't just have sensory aversions, we also have sensory needs. And when we meet those needs on purpose, life gets easier. It gets better, my friend. So this could look like weighted blankets, fidget items, music, repetitive playlists, crunchy snacks, hot showers, cold drinks, movement, pacing, stretching, lifting, heavy shit, soft blankets, comfy clothes, dim lighting. Maybe it's candles or familiar smells or sitting in silence or even having brown noise or white noise. For me, I love some 8D music. Maybe it's rocking, swaying, bouncing. So this is where it helps to get really, really curious. What helps your body feel more settled? What helps your brain to focus? What helps you come back to yourself? Because not all regulation looks like green juices and meditation, okay? Sometimes regulation might look like, you know, stomping around your kitchen, wearing your comfy clothes, eating something crunchy, listening to the same song on repeat, anything that helps you to soothe, to calm. It all counts, my friend. Number five is build in sensory recovery to your day. Okay? So one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of us make is only trying to recover after we've hit the wall, after shit's hit the fan, okay? But sensory support works much better when it becomes something that's just sort of sprinkled regularly into your day, not when you're hanging on by a thread. And trust me, you don't need more time for this. Let me show you how. So rather than waiting until you're completely overloaded, I invite you to ask, how can I give my nervous system just a little moment of recovery, A little sprinkle of goodness throughout the day. So again, this could look like when you get home from work, you sit in silence in your car for five minutes before you go in the house. Fuck, I love that one. Sometimes I'll get home from an appointment, I'll just sit in the driveway for a few minutes before I go in the house. So good. Maybe it's taking a screen break. So at lunchtime you actually get outside for air and see the daylight rather than staring at a screen. Even if it's just a couple of minutes. Right? Stepping outside for air can be really helpful. Having a low sensory moment after work. Okay, so putting your devices away, sitting outside, sticking your feet in the grass, putting on comfy clothes as soon as you get home. That one. Like before you do anything else. That is so me. Dimming lights in the evening, having, you know, a quiet morning before all of your inputs. For me, it's like getting up in the morning and going for a walk before I do anything else. That's a little moment of recovery throughout my day, right? Taking headphones or having loop earplugs in your bag. I always have earplugs in my bag, not loop. I've got to admit, got to invest in some of those. Right? It might also look like planning some decompression time, Some like recharge time after you've socialized. Man, I do that one after I go to an event, after I've done any socializing, I build that shit into my calendar of my day. Okay? So I want you to think of this like giving your nervous system little snack sized recession instead of waiting until shit is hitting the fan and you're falling apart. Now, number six, this might just be the most important one of all, my friend. Stop moralizing your needs, okay? This part really matters. So a lot of us with late diagnosed adhd, we can carry a lot of shame around our sensory differences and our sensory needs. Maybe we tell ourself I'm too much, I'm high maintenance, I should be able to handle this. Everybody else seems fine. You know, why am I like this? But sensory needs are not a personality flaw, okay? Needing lower lighting is not dramatic. Needing quiet is not rude. Needing comfy clothes is not childish. Needing time alone after a busy day is not antisocial. Needing to leave an overstimulating place is not a failure, my friend. It is just information. It is your body giving you this really valuable data. And the more you're able to set aside your judgment and not judge yourself and see that data, the easier it becomes to respond in a really useful way. Because when you keep ignoring your sensory needs, my friend, they do not magically disappear. Ask me how I know, right? They usually come out as more irritable. Anxiety, shutdown, you know, procrastination, conflict, emotional dysregulation, exhaustion, burnout, all of these things. So this is not about being precious, it's about being informed. Okay? Now again, this stuff can make a huge difference in relationships. Huge difference when it comes to our relationships. Because when you understand your sensory patterns, you can better understand and explain yourself. Okay? Instead of I'm in a bad mood, it might just be I'm really overstimulated, there's too much noise. I need 10 minutes alone. I can't talk or think while the TV is on. I'm not ignoring you. I just can't process all of this input right now. I need a little break, okay? I need to change clothes or eat or spend some time regulating first. So again, this kind of self awareness can be really, really huge, right? So many arguments and shutdowns and misunderstandings are actually sensory overload in disguise. And when you know that, you can communicate more clearly and support yourself a little bit earlier. So, right, I know we are like, I'm rolling on time today. I didn't realize I was going to go through this long. So if there is one thing, my friend, I want you to take from this episode, it is this. Your sensory differences are not silly. They're not made up. They're not you being weak or dramatic or lazy or rude or too much, my friend. They are information. They are clues. They are part of how your ADHD nervous system operates and moves through this world. And once you start listening to that information instead of judging it, you can begin building a life that feels a whole lot less harsh, less loud, less itchy or stabby or chaotic. Right? So the goal isn't to become someone who tolerates everything. The goal is to understand yourself well enough that you can support yourself with more compassion, more intention, and less shame. So if this episode has helped you to understand yourself a little bit better, please send it to another ADHDer who perhaps has mentioned that the world just feels a little bit. Too much, too loud, too bright, too itchy. Okay, again. You're not broken, my friend. Your nervous system just needs different support. Huge, huge love. Take care. I'll speak to you soon. Hey, friend, if you want some more help navigating and thriving with ADHD and some help applying everything that you're learning here on the podcast, then head over to our website, navigating adultadhd.com.